Evidently My Voice Gets MILFs Wet

So, what now robots?

>>25841938
Call her later. Talk to her and masturbate together.

Call her back. Dirty ol' whore. Throw a bunch of "yes ma'ams" at her until she orgasms.

>>25841987
The reason I say late twenties, just fyi, is because that information was volunteered by this lady.

show her your ugly mug

Call her back, meet up, fuck.

Literally just be yourself :)

>>25841912
She is a whore. Don't waste your time with the likes of her.

>>25842022
This lady is several states over. That would not, in the short term, be possible.

>>25842017
Thank you. I kek'd

>>25842005
Did she wolunteer her picture per chance old chap?

Phones tend to change your voice skightly. I remember one of my most boring hated teachers once called me and her disembodied voice was so hot I had never realized. I had a massive boner in her class afterwards

>>25841912
>politely remind her that I am, in fact, at work
kek

>>25842055
No. This was entirely over the phone.

Since the phone number is from Florida, I'm imagining either a gorgeous whore who's starting to hit the wall. Or disgusting, slovenly trailer trash. This is Florida we're talking about

call her you idiot

Ask her for pics of her wanking.

>>25842108
I'm at work, dumbass. It's just a slow day, and this is perhaps the most interesting thing to happen so far. I can shitpost behind the desk without looking utterly unprofessional.

The same is not possible for phone sex

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>>25841912
Apparently I have the same effect with 13-16yo girls.

>talk to someone in omegle
>they want to skype with me
>well alright whatever
>call them
>say hello
>it turns out to be a girl
>after a few minutes she says that my voice is really hot and asks me to read something to them

Maybe I should volunteer to read bedtime stories to children or something.

>>25842138
call her after work, that much was - I thought - obvious

>>25842172
My apologies. Fuck all is happening on my end, which you would not know. I assumed you meant that I should call back immediately.

>>25842148
I don't not believe you but can you vocaroo the voice you used on her for science reasons?

>>25842214
When I finish working. Thanks to MLK, I have a half day.

>>25842214
ayy lmao
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0B7Mg9nvrOp

I'm using some $5 microphone at the moment.

Never said that I was a great radio personality or anything, some people just find my voice pleasing

>be British
>american grills hear voice over Skype, teamspeak etc
>omg are U British xdddd
>tfw american whores like my voice

Feelsgoodman

>>25842092
I had something similar happen to me

>used to be a cashier at kfc
>this girl comes to order something, must have been almost 1.8m (6") tall, early D cup, quite pretty
>orders something, pays, goodbye
>comes back for some ketchup, then for something else
>each time flirting more and more furiously
>during her third or fourth visit she asks me about my phone number
>fuck sure

>she calls me in the evening
>we chat for a bit
>something's not quite right
>ask her how old she was
>"well, I'll be sixteen this year!"

I was 22 at that point. While it was technically legal, I preferred not to take chances. Besides fuck, 6 years difference at that age is almost equal to being from different species

word of advice - cashier at kfc seems to be getting fuckloads of phone numbers and without asking, too. Didn't get a single one when I worked at gap, on the other hand. there were different perks though.

>>25842274
It's quite amusing really.

Do American accents have the same effect in bongland?

>>25842296
Must suck being an american. I would have tapped that

>>25842148
>read a bedtime story to Amy
>babby's first wet dream

>>25842367
Sort of, but not as much

It's more like "oh look an American, cool"

>>25842393
I doubt it. That gentleman defaulted to metric

>>25842393
only I'm not american

She cant be a milf if she's in her twenties god jesus fuck it all

>>25842367
I'm pretty sure not else it would've been documented

>>25842425
My mom gave birth when she was 16 so technically she already fit the definition at that age. I was born some 25 years later

>>25842425
Someone can certainly get married and have kids in their mid twenties, and be horny and frustrated a few years later

>>25842444
doesnt matter if she's a mother though
milfs start at 35 years of age

>>25842425
The age volunteered was 29.

>>25842423
>>25842407
It must suck being in the civilized first world.

>>25842258
Holy shit anon, you sound like some fucking children's book on tape narrator, go sign up at a pbs or something

>>25842499
doesn't actually.

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>>25842558
>PBS
Too bad I'm a Finn.

>>25841912
how do you know if she's a MILF if you've only heard her voice? dumbass

>>25842623
I'd still listen to you read A Christmas carol or like The legend of sleepy hollow

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>>25842838
To be honest I get pretty insecure whenever I have to speak English aloud. I don't speak all that much in my daily life, being a NEET and a recluse and all, so having to do it in a foreign language is all that much more stressful. Maybe if I trained my voice regularly I could actually do something on that front.

>>25841912
>be Scottish
>go to the US to visit friend who lives in Virginia
>constantly have roasties compliment my voice when I speak, literally all the time to the point it's annoying
>his cousin records me saying " you're a bad, bad girl" into her phone while drunk
>still have precisely zero sexual partners

I'm from the Highlands and not Glasgow so I don't have the stereotypical unintelligible angry growl.

OP here. Going to vocaroo something soon so that y'all can be the judge.

Post updates once you called her after work, OP

>>25844094
This was quite a big ego boost desu senpai. I actually don't like hearing recordings of myself, but a slut schlicking to my voice within minutes of talking to me (though probably looking for phone sex with the other gentleman) makes me feel better about it.

>>25842258
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s0B7Mg9nvrOp

Hello my friend from Air Canine!

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>>25844298
He said arcanine, you dumbass

>>25844094
I think I'll call as a restricted number. The thought is embarrassing but rather lewd; however, I certainly don't want a crazy slut having access to my actual cell number.

Will calling as a restricted number, by starting with 67, hide my phone number from caller ID?

>>25841912
Go for it, Eggman.

OP here. Try not to cringe as I say the non-greentext part of my opening post.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1Mz6Cc3TI5U

>>25845126
Sounds like an average american tbqh

>>25845387
Outstanding. Because that's about what I am.

People have, upon knowing that I'm from the South, asked me where my accent was.

Not OP, but in my experience men in online games have commented that my voice sounds good or sexy, or that I sound like a "youtuber"...whatever the fuck that means.

>>25845126
You just sound like the average american in his 20's.
>Be lonely woman
>Speak to guy on the phone who's face you don't know
>Thought pops up into your head
>This guy could actually be Chad on the other line
>Start thinking more about how sexy he could be
>Tell yourself that he probably is really hot
>Voice therefor suddenly becomes really hot

>late twenties milf
Bait, right?

>>25845812

It's an assumption, yes

>>25845781
At least it isn't cringeworthy. That it's nothing remarkable makes me feel better, because in the past I actively disliked hearing recordings of myself.

Honestly, it was probably more keeping a straight face and "yes ma'am" politeness throughout a rather strange 10 minute phonecall as she tried to find out how to contact someone else in my department. Since, in retrospect, she was probably schlicking her way through the conversation (rather than being old as I initially thought), I imagine that phone sex was already on the mind. I imagine that the other gentleman was a past partner of hers or something.

Something Similar has happened to me

>Hanging out with friend
>Get a random call from unknown number
>Pick up anyway
>Some chick answers
>Obviously she had the wrong number
>End up talking for like almost 5 minutes because "I sound hot"

>>25841912
Thank you for sharing, now get out of here you Chad voiced normie fucker

>>25841912
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1MOob9fqRBv

>>25845930
See >>25845781

This is actually VERY common.
We all know women are emotional dreamers, and the thought that they MIGHT be talking to a hot guy really tingle their fantasies.

>>25842258
>tfw you'll never have the Finn impregnate you

>>25841912
If you like video games get to record that shit and talk like a retard. You have a nice voice, this makes it so much easier to get popular, plus you get money for nothing

>>25842258

Read this quote by Ernest Hemingway


"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry."

>>25846000
Trips of a true sexy voice.

>>25846000
You've got me handily beaten. Congratulations.

>>25842934
If it makes you feel better, your accent sounds fine and pretty natural, sounds a lot better than OPs weird boring middle America slight lisp

>>25841912
im gonna take a stab here and guess that shes fat and ugly. i wouldnt get too excited op.

>>25846167
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0NqipJnvXSp

I have had two bottles of wine at this point so I sound a bit off.

>>25841912
I wonder how important a good voice actually is, you never really see anyone talk about it.
>See pic of Chad
>Feel rage inside
>Imagine that he has a really childish voice
>Feel much better

>>25846167
>>25846671
I can read that in Finnish as well, if it interests you.

>>25846644
Yes. This is Florida, so slovenly trailer trash is more than likely.

I believe I said this already.

>>25846724
That would be fantastic. Finnish has a really unique sound and rhythm

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1n9Vhn0ggec

>>25846749
k

I translated this out of my ass so I don't know if it's 100 percent correct, but bear with me

Maailma murtaa jokaisen, ja jalkeenpain monet ovat vahvoja vaarissa paikoissa. Mutta ne, jotka eivat murru, se tappaa. Se tappaa ne todella hyvat ja todella herttaiset ja todella rohkeat, puolueettomasti. Jos et ole mitaan naista, voit olla varma etta se tappaa sinut myos, mutta silla ei tule olemaan mitaan erityista kiiretta.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1aIS0vKzMml

>>25846943
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s1aIS0vKzMml
Thanks senpai. Much better than my middle America garbage

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>tfw have a really really deep voice
>tfw the few times i would talk in high school some girl would often say "anon has a pretty deep voice tehe"

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My voice is literally a meme at work. I have befriended this girl to the point I'm comfortable spilling my greentexting autism. She tells comments MILFS in her office make.

They even started saying it to my face: 'Your voice is deep, boy.'

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>>25847792
>mfw my voice is shit
>my face is shit
>my everything is shit

>>25842499
It's a special kind of hell that looks like heaven.

Alright robots, I'm going to call the number, see what happens, and report back.

>>25848294
record it faggot

>>25848400
Well, people don't seem impressed with my voice desu senpai, so I was thinking that greentexting would be better

>>25843694
Sorry could you repeat that? Didn't quite catch that.

I do have a semi right now though for some reason.

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>be me, 20, 5 years ago
>hanging out with normie friend and his new Stacy gf at their apartment
>friend gets a call and has to leave, says he'll be back in 15 minutes
>fuckin hell
>dude leaves
>Stacy sits right next to me
>she leans in close to my ear
>"Your voice is so sexy Anon"
>"R-really haha"
>grabs my hand and puts it between her thighs
>pic related
>drop my spaghetti leave
>still a virgin to this day

>>25846724
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s0NqipJnvXSp
God, I could weep to that voice

Try this (Lovecraft Celephais):
"There are not many persons who know what wonders are opened to them in the stories and visions of their youth; for when as children we listen and dream, we think but half-formed thoughts, and when as men we try to remember, we are dulled and prosaic with the poison of life. But some of us awake in the night with strange phantasms of enchanted hills and gardens, of fountains that sing in the sun, of golden cliffs overhanging murmuring seas, of plains that stretch down to sleeping cities of bronze and stone, and of shadowy companies of heroes that ride caparisoned white horses along the edges of thick forests; and then we know that we have looked back through the ivory gates into that world of wonder which was ours before we were wise and unhappy."

>>25847792
Where do you work family

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>>25846875
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s1n9Vhn0ggec

bloxybloxy

>>25848972
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1P2mjuIp1Je

>work in fresh produce at a supermarket
>not a complete pleb job so I have to wear a proper uniform shirt and suit pants
>arms and back have gotten quite large because of manual labour
>worl during week days filling up fruit and veg displays
>milfs always come up to me and start flirting when they ask me for something
>they come up really close and hold my arm or side of body and rub their hand up and down
Im kind of weary of flirting back because it is at work. I should try get a number though and cuck a fellow wagie

>>25848400
Welp. Trying the anonymous code didn't work. Going to try another method of anonymizing myself

>>25841912
Can someone please read this quote from my favorite book, Dune by Frank Herbert?

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

Also,

"He who controls the spice controls the universe."

>>25849350
Get cucumber, lead one horny MILF to the toilet and DP her with your cuck and cucumber. Then you can either force her to buy the cucumber which will get you raise or promotion because you make people buy more, or you place it back and wait till someone else buys it. Just for lulz. For more lulz make sure to use cucumber for anal.

>>25849198

Lemme hear your low-test wimpy pre-teen voice my friend

>>25848294

Waiting

orig comment ffs

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>>25849725
I just thought your vocaroo was funny, wasn't trying to mock you

>>25849844
Ah my bad man lmao

Tried to dial. Palms sweaty, knees, weak arms heavy. No vomit on my sweater already, not even spaghetti.

It went to voicemail after I tried to call using *671 to restrict my number. Will try again.

Thinking of using an online SMS message service and throwaway email to arrange a time.

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>>25849874
low-test wimpy voice is pretty accurate t b h

>>25849977
Theres prolly some sort of exersize you can do to make it a little better but idk

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>>25850018
I tried to practice through public speaking, but I just ended up spilling my spaghetti every time

>smile when nervous
>stutter
>talk like I'm out of breath by breathing too much
>people always comment on how "excited" I seem
>mfw

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>mfw robots can't recognize NSA information gatherers using social proof to further their cause

I made about 50,000 cold calls in the last few years and people are sully to hear that I sound the way i do. I look like a twink and sound like a demigod. I put on a higher pitch voice purposely just to fuck with people.

Straighten up your posture, neck and head and speak from your stomach and you'll develop a golden voice

>>25849949
Stay strong, wobbly-man.

>>25842296
I worked at Popeyes as cashier and I got 0. Then again I was more autistic them.

>>25841912
>late 20's
>milf

smash that shit son

>>25850216
Nigger, I'm several states over

>>25850115
Well in a public speaking scenario I'd say it isnt cringy at all to intentionally put on a deeper voice and that would give you a bit more confidence and make you think about what youre saying and shit which might help resolve the stuttering. Although, overthinking what youre saying might be the cause of the stuttering so i dont know.

Maybe if you live alone or something you could sing harsh shit most of the time to make your voice all raspy which may help lower it or just make it sound more appeasing. Idk how important this shit is to you though and its prolly just another bodily gripe that everyone has.

fembots: would you shag me?
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0GH6LSNhGUX

>>25850764
depends, try reading >>25849466

>>25850882
please mind my fucking language at the end u cunt
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0GH6LSNhGUX

>>25850882
It was extremely painful

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1VI3Fnm6PB

>>25851033
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s1VI3Fnm6PB
doesn't work mate

>>25850882
http://vocaroo.com/i/s11fKqNs4zRN

>>25841967
this

or you could arrange a meet, and have le sexy time.

>>25851190
For you, m80

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1VI3fFnm6PB

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>>25851247
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s1VI3fFnm6PB
thanks man
blobox

>>25851204
fuck you
I just lost the game

>>25842444

So you have a sibling who's 25 years older than you?

>>25841912
https://clyp.it/ozlvgeqq