who here /livessayingretardedshit/?

>>25805342
epic deerthunder volyrich

I do it for lols

If at the mall someone offers me a free sample I'll reply back with something like "No thanks, i'm really gay right now" and just keep walking.

The thing is I don't even react or laugh when I do it anymore, it's just straight face and as if nothing ever happened.

>>25805387
I really don't know what that means bud

>>25805403
I think that's how I started and then I ran outta control

>>25805342
They're laughing at you, not with you. The fact that you can't tell the difference may hint at your autism

No, you just have a sense of humor.

At fast food restaurants I try to swipe my card on the monitor until they stop me to see how they react

>>25805464
Get a load of this fag with no commitment to comedy

I do the same thing except I'm a lot less funny.

>picking up my 11 year old sister in school
>wait in the lobby
>runs up to me along with her friend
>her friend says "Snape died today."
>My sister says "Yeah."
>I look at her straight in eye and told her, "Everyone dies."
>they abruptly laugh

>get a text message
>from this student who we know on a casual basis
>"Hi. How are you?"
>"Alive."

She stopped texting me.

> yesterday left after a meeting to stay with a president of my club and another guy
>were talking about Colombine and how is horrible
>I said, "it's a shame the bomb didn't go off. It could have been an amazing school shooting."
>Both look at me awkwardly.

I'm on the spectrum.

>at the wrap place at uni
>tell the lady what I want
>'Can you please put them in the wrap in alphabetical order please?'
>gives me this confused yet stern look that only a fat black lady working at a wrap place could give
>'J-Just a joke!'
>she starts laughing loudly

I like joking with the workers here.

>>25805486
Pretending to be retarded quickly becomes being an actual retard. Only other retards will laugh with you.

>>25805567
>>gives me this confused yet stern look that only a fat black lady working at a wrap place could give
FUCKING GOLD

>>25805486
>sets himself up to get laughed at
>"they're laughing at you"
oh my

>>25805342
i used to say really fucked up shit just to make people laugh or get a reaction out of them. I would say something like "Hey Cody I'm going to pinch your nipples while i poo on your chest".

I like to say a lot of existential things around people, especially normies. It's almost as if they've never contemplated their existence before

Yea, I just say stuff without thinkoing and people laugh and say shit like "haha you geek me hard bruh!" Like wtf does that even mean? I was also tested for autism in kindergarten because I would tactile for entertainment and make sound effects while the other kids were playing kickball.

Turns out I wasn't autistic, just some weirdo with severe ADD. Next thing I know I'm on adderall and it made me feel fucking great.

>>25805638

>I like to say a lot of existential things around people, especially normies. It's almost as if they've never contemplated their existence before
Story time

>>25805536
>She stopped texting me.
OP here, it reminds of a time I was talking to a friend on the phone and by the end he was like
"Ok anon, talk to ya later"
and I said
"But wait!"
"For what?"
"Zip it up... And zip it out." and immediately hanged.

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>>25805342
>he says "Huh, they have that new Tarantino out"
>I say "Well, if they don't have Straight Outta Compton anymore I'm gonna shove this whole theater up my ass"
oh my fucking god

>>25805536
>"it's a shame the bomb didn't go off. It could have been an amazing school shooting."
Lol i want to hang out with this guy

>>25805342
the last one sounds like something i would do...

>>25805791
Post stories faggot

>>25805342
>Sitting at lunch table in h
>Friend wants to ask out girl
>Asks where he should take her on a dat

I told him: "take her to Cici's, if I were a girl and you took me to Cici's I would deepthroat you until I vomited 12 servings of macoroni pizza chunks on your cock."

>Tfw they all choke on their food from heavy laughter

>>25805638
my name is Cody and my coworker does this

he is a good coworker

>>25805587
>implying we don't prefer actual retards to fucking normies

>>25805567
>>25805587
Working with older sassy black women is great.

>>25805657
wtf does 'tactile for entertainment' mean?

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>>25805666
have to check those satanic trips.

As for the existential stories there's nothing really to tell - i like to make side remarks

I do this all the time. Can't think of any examples but I'm usually the one in my family that says the off the wall and kind of offensive stuff. When I joke like that with people I don't know they always look at me so shocked and say "anon! You're always so quiet I didn't know you joked like that!"

>>25805638
Tfw grills will never understand the same comedy and will never love you.

>>25805342
OP sounds like a bro. I have a similar sense of humor.

>at fancy sausage restaurant with friends
>waitress asks us if everything is alright
>I reply "hotdog"
>she walks away visibly confused

>>25805969
>2016
>Doesn't into tactile entertainment

>>25805342
You're just funny lol

>>25806391
>hot dawg

>>25805342
>at In-n-Out drive thru
>getting my food
>ask if they have the yellow ketchup
>"You mean mustard?"
>no, the yellow ketchup. you guys had it last time.
>"Let me get my manager."
>nevermind. it's fine.

>>25805342
Fuckin kek
fuck you roboto

>>25806197
Yeah I say off the wall things all the time. A lot of stuff is funny in my head and I just say it.

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>>25806450
>"Let me get my manager."