My dad can't stop. We've had so many talks, he knows my mother will leave him. He knows he is killing himself. He's alllegadely been attending A A and he hadn't drank since new years eve and he drank tonight. I even said to him that if he carries on I'll kill myself and he didn't believe me.
I wasn't really serious at the time but I've just been lying on the sofa downstairs staring at the wall thinking of where in the house I would tie a noose to and how I'd get my hands on some decent rope.
I really don't know what to do, I don't want my family to fall apart.
sorry to hear about your situation. But dont kill yourself or anything else because someone elses life isnt going well. You should live for you, and only you, dont end it because of others.
You wont lose your family if your mother leaves him though, but it can feel like that. Your dad probably has underlying problems that makes him drink, or straight boredom. Either way you should try fix your life bro, and dont think anything like this is the end
>I even said to him that if he carries on I'll kill myself and he didn't believe me.
That's the kind of family drama I don't miss. Get the fuck out of there. You don't have to be functional and work, just get a bicycle, a tent, a sleeping bag, a few camping survival utensils, and some pannier racks for your bicycle and leave. Go on a bicycle ride around your Country. By the time you've ridden around your whole Country (You'll have to scavenge and beg for food, it's essentially homelessness, but in a nomadic kind of way) you'll be a stronger, happier, and healthier (Although possibly slightly malnourished) person.
It's not worth staying. You feel like you're trapped, but you're not. Not really. Reject modern society and all the bullshit that comes with it (Family dysfunction and poverty), and get the hell out of there.
My biggest regret is that I subjected myself to family abuse until I was 22 (Permanent NEET). But after riding around half of the EU I was a much stronger person, and got a job at a factory.
What are you saying? Just up and leave my family? What you're saying sounds good for a script for some 'Into The Wild' type movie but realistically I couldn't make that emotional departure