Who /suicide/ here?
>no friends since middle school
>don't interact with anyone besides my sister (whom I live with)
>avoid her whenever I can
>sleep 14 hours a day
>spend all my free time playing video games and watching YT videos
>seen every Yuriofwind video at least 6 times
>200+ hours on Dark Souls 1 & 2
>no idea what day of the week it is
>get OCD over the dumbest shit
>constantly in a bad mood
>parents call me once a month but I never have anything to say to them
>no desires, dreams or passion
End of blog-post. Thank you for reading.
Dude. I'm pretty much you. Or was, until I was able to get my shit together due to my parents finding out that I'd failed two of my classes.
I'm afraid the only way to not want to kill yourself is outside intervention, in my experience. See a psyche, get meds, get people willing to force your dumb ass to do things.
I've never had a real friend in my life. Still haven't, really. Can't help you there.
I sort of know that feel. Nothing seems appealing. I have "Dreams" but they're so out of touch with reality. I sometimes think of myself as a narcissist because my dreams are so far out of my ability.
The alternative is death from suicide, or a life of misery.
Same thing here. I dream constantly about becoming wealthy and powerful, how I would build my wealth, expand my corporate empire, date gorgeous girls, and help out my family. Yet there is nothing about me that could indicate I am destined for anything but obscurity in NEEThood.
I don't want to draw attention to myself though.
I did that shit all the time in high school, constantly bitching about muh depression and anxiety.
Seems unfair to people who actually have real problems. I'm just a certain kind of person.
Right now I'm /suicide/ as fuck
>catch an infection and blood poisoning from shooting up with dirty needles
>time in the hospital
>finally get out
>can't go to work until I heal up
>can't spend time in sunlight until I'm off of antibiotics
>stuck inside 24/7 with no heroin
>emotions come flooding back
How do you fucking people live this way? I have been contemplating suicide because of a week of this shut in lifestyle.
I'M UPLOADING THE HACKER VIRUS....
3%, 20%, 80%, 90%, 99%
*BRRRRTTTT* *BLEEP* *ZORPAZORP*
I HAVE JUST JUMP STARTED UR HEART.
U WILL NOW FACE LIFE WITH A BOLD CHEST, MADE OF METAL AND CAST IN A CRIMSON FLAME.
GO FORTH, MY CHILD.
>3 or so good friends
>don't interact with anyone, only text my friends
>sleep 6 hours a day
>spend all my free time and even schooltime playing video games, browsing /r9k/, talking on game forums like gamnesia and zeldainformer, and watching YT videos
>don't watch specific youtubers because i'm not a faggot
>watch youtube with adblock on, get a real job niggers
>14 hours on Dark Souls 1, fuck that game is a piece of shit
>100+ hours on bloodborne, game is fucking fantastic
>never played DS2
>always know what day of the week it is because /wagecuck/
>constantly in a bad mood because college sucks away all of my money
>parents think i'm doing a full load at college, actually only taking one class this semester
>once they find out, i'm getting kicked out
>jokes on them, i'm moving to an apartment this month and dropping out. fuck college
seriously, fuck college. 2 years of bullshit "core classes" which is basically high school 2.0, then two years of actually doing something thta mattters. are you shitting me? THAT is what a bachelor's degree is? get the fuck outta here. let me do two years of study, get a degree, then run out and get a job. fuck this four year, five year shit.
actually you know what? fuck college entirely.
That's very close to my situation OP. I've never had a job and have been walking the line of homelessness for a while now. I also have to pay money just to do a course to get into university just so I can go into debt just so I can get a job that won't leave me marginally less spoor than I am now. It's a wonderful life. The worst part is the self doubt and lack of desire.
Right on, my man.
Also, OP? What do you mean OCD over the dumbest shit? Cause I get that too. Like, especially when it comes to disgusting pictures on 4chan. I get grossed out really easily, and even if my mouse cursor accidentely hovered over a gross image while I clicked to a new page or something, I'll have to go back to the page I was just on and ensure the mouse won't be there before clicking to the page I wanted to go to, amongst many other absurd things,