Snails and Relatively Unimpessive Humor

>What do you call a dead hooker
>a dead prostitute

>why was the snail asked to leave
>because it was a nigger

>Where do you find giants nails?
>On the end of giant's fingers.

>Why is snail afraid of slug?
>Because slug have many friend politburo

>Why doesn't McDonalds serve escargo?
>Because it's not fast food.

>>25782376
>Why did the snail cross the road?
>I don't know but I'll let you know when it gets there!

>>25782376
>What did the snail say before it started to beat it's wife?
>I'm still leaving you!

i loooove snails
i had like 5 pet snails in a comfy fish tank, full of smooth rocks and big tree leaves
they were really funny, would climb all the way to the top of the tank and sleep on the edge, or go down and hide in some weird places, like one went away to another table and slept upside down underneath it.

i had to take them outside though,felt bad about keeping them trapped inside.

>>25782376
>why are snails so slow?
>it doesn't matter

>What did the snail say to the tortoise?
>Nothing, because it's a fucking snail.

File: b5545866-b92c-4050-a149-2c6307e0aef8..png (97KB, 892x806px) Image search: [Google]

97KB, 892x806px

how do you say goodbye to 200,000 Indonesians?

...with a big wave

>>25783080
Silly that's not a snail joke.
Here's I'll show you.

>A man hears a knock at his door, opens it but doesn't see anyone.
>He glances down, sees a snail there and being the conscientious gardener he is, tosses the snail across the road,
into a field, away from his property.
>Ten years go by, and one day the man hears a knock at the door, but once again, doesn't find anyone there when he
answers.
>He looks down, sees a snail there.
>The snail looks up at him, and in a tiny voice demands
>"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"