>take anti depressants for 2 years
>suicidal tendencies stop
>Life is still a fucking mess
>Just feel completely dead and empty all the time
Is this normal ?
>You are the type that shouldn't be on anti-depressants and would benefit from a therapist that specializes in CBT, and not that hugbox confirmation types.
While I'm not disagreeing, it's not that simple. Sometimes a mix of medication and therapy is needed.
Anti-depressants are for the people with the real deal. Clinical depression is nothing to scoff at. It's why AD's were discovered, not OP's little pansy dysthymia that responds excellent to just CBT alone.
And what are you doing other than shoving a pill in your mouth and making those magic brain-chemicals inhibit uptake on a special neurochemical? Are you challenging your suicidal thoughts and seeing why they are illogical? Are you not realizing how much you are catastrophying over nothing because your brain is making you do so? You develop this shit out of habit. You should consider yourself blessed. You have an advantage over many. THe issue though is that you haven't taken full advantage and worked with a therapist to train your brain so you can actually get off the meds.
Fuck you. I hate your kind. At least I fucking tried and still battle it every fucking day, with the AD i'm on only minimizing it a little.
I really don't know what to actually do. If i'm not studying i mostly do nothing and have no friends or money.
>You develop this shit out of habit.
not this guy but if said that to my face, that my depression is out of habit i would probably slam you and break your fucking neck this shit is the only thing that pisses me enough to do something like that, better don't say it IRL
>tfw bonebreaking loneliness
>tfw living in a shitty grey malaise because its winter and everything is varying shades of grey and off-brown grey
>can't even fap because it instantly reminds me of how much of a lonely piece of shit I am
>neet for 2 months now
I love my life
serotnergic antidepressants are clinically insignificant,they are not some super effective trump card to depression, they barely outperform placebo in 'double blind' trials that might as well not be placebo controlled due to the obvious side effects.
'real depression' is only curable through glutamate induced neuroplasticity, and even that isn't perfect
it does develop out of habit in a way, there are genetic dispositions to it but it's mostly to do with stress and neglect affecting the size of your hippocampus
ketamine/mxe and therapy are your best bet
keep in mind you might end up with brain damage, decide if it's worth it. You also have to make a genuine attempt to reform your ways, or else you'll just go back to how you were
Antidepressants can make you more depressed, but some misinterpret this increased depression as improvement. I recommend trying to gradually taper off of them and see if you can feel less empty.