submissive fembot here. It has a lot to do with genetics in my opinion. dominant men normally have better genetics, are more handsome and strong, and better in bed anyway. submissive men are a massive turnoff and normally are scrawny, fat, or bad in bed. all my exes were doms except for one sub and honestly I hate him the most, his dick was also smallest.
>>25723355 I don't know about other people but for me, daddy issues maybe?
I always was into watching girls get handled roughly and mistreated
at first I thought it was because maybe that's how I wanna be treated? but then I realized that no, It's mainly just how I want to treat other girls. I like being mean to other girls, I wanna grab a fist full of their hair and tell them they're ugly slut pigs that aren't good for anything but being a cum dump. I wanna tell them they're too stupid to do anything with their lives other than bend over and take a dick. I want to spit on their face and slap them, I want to put my fingers in their holes and I want to make them suck, I want to force their heads down until they choke on it
>>25723536 also growing up I thought I was too ugly for sex so when someone tells me I'm just a dirty whore cumdump, that they're gonna share me with everyone, that I'm a dumb cunt
I don't know, it like unravels everything I thought about myself, that no one would ever desire me, that I have to make up for being ugly with being smart. It's the most satisfying cognitive dissonance, gets me off so fast
>>25723355 >What makes a person happy to be degraded or degrade and beat other people?
Dominant male here.
For me it's basically the closeness and intimacy associated with being able to do really terrible things to another person and have them be OK with it. Like, "they trust me/like me so much that they'll actually let me abuse them".
Also, just being in control of another person and hurting them feels good. It's transgressive and naughty and pleasurable to "get away with" doing things like that.
I mean, everyone has bad thoughts from time to time about what they'd like to do to another person - tie them up, hit them, choke them, etc. It feels good to be able to actually act those out, especially with a consenting partner who you know isn't really being harmed (at least not very badly), and is actually getting off to it.
>>25723355 mtf power bottom I can switch Small amount of exp being sub but I absolutely love it 10+ years dom exp /d/ickgirl since like 2004 Basically into everything but diapers, shit, puking, ageplay Ama
>>25724072 BDSM is about trust and compassion. Even porn is undercut by the bdsm rules. An actress is 100% in control just as the sub is in complete control. You tell people exactly what is okay and what isnt okay. You have flags and signals to indicate comfort levels. They are to be respected utterly and completely.
A dom isnt some power hungry abusive faggot like you stupid fucks seem to think reading the thread so far. A dom is someone who's concerned that his sub is absolutely comfortable, feels safe, and treats his sub with overwhelming adoration and worships them. Nothing to a dom is more important than that. All of a dom's control comes from this relationship with the sub. If you dont have this, not only are you a disgusting human being but you are a rapist. A dom earns his sub's love and devotion. I am utterly devoted to my dom because of this. I am completely comfortable with him and know he will protect me and never ever hurt me, and will always look out for me.
Once I have this trust, I can allow various levels of vulnerability for him to operate within. He learns my limits and can ease me past them and train me to take myself further each time. I get rewarded with being able to push myself and give myself to him. Meanwhile he gets free range to do whatever he wants with me and use me as his own personal sexual object. He is a guide and a teacher and my beloved. I get to let go and be animalistic and carnal as he embraces me.
As someone who has struggled their entire life with feeling worthy and like I dont even have the capacity to be loved, it really is difficult to relax and enjoy myself. But with the way my dom makes me feel, he can get me past that and cleanse me of those things that weigh so deeply on my soul.
>>25725482 yes yes yes I came in here to try to write this out, basically, but you did it better than I could have. There are a lot of fake "doms" on /r9k/ who think it's just about doing what they want.
>>25725482 He can put me a psychologically receptive state which people call subspace. Its a sort of holy feeling where you completely disconnect from reality and become depersonalized and completely give yourself to your master. I dont mean in like some gay way of giving yourself to them. I mean you are GONE there is only your master and you feel as if youre one person.
Its like an out of body experience where you are pretty much hallucinating. A submissive in subspace relys completely on their dom to take care of them and is completely unable to make rational or logical decisions and its up to the dom to ensure their well being.
I cant always turn it off always and we have to more or less wait for me to come back and he cant trigger it without my acceptance which relies heavily on our trust and relationship I said earlier. I could easily get seriously injured or killed so I have to utter faith in him controlling me in my mind controlled state.
I feed off this energy hes giving me and I completely serve him in any way he wants to use me. Sex is empty and meaningless in comparison. A soulless mechanical action. This feels like I'm discarding my physical body and just intertwining with his soul.
Then after the sexy times, the most important part is the aftercare that the dom needs to do. He needs to treat me like his princess and caress me and tell me how much I mean to him and clean me up and hold me. Bringing me back and worshiping me and smothering me with affection is what allows us to maintain and grow our bonds. People often forget this part but its the most important part. Nothing should feel better for a dom to see what they've done to a person and how devoted they are too you and how they completely belong to you. Its the same for me. Theres literally nothing better to be coming back and finding yourself craddled in his arms and hes looking down at you and youre looking up and him and youre clinging to him like hes the only thing holding you together
>>25723521 >submissive fembot here. >fembot STOOPPP I'm a fucking grill and can't stand this ridiculous fembot meme, make it fucking stop. Please. It pisses me off that I've even had to mention that I'm female to add to my point. It's really not just the actual robots who hate this. Also, your theory is retarded. You're clearly mentally stunted. >>25723355 It's deeply psychological. I'd say about 50% people use it as a cathartic way to deal with childhood trauma. (Daddy issues, etc.) Many fetishes are deeply routed within innocent childhood fixations or ideas. Not necessarily negative ones either, I know somebody who fetishizes stockings/pantyhose a lot because he had a good relationship with his primary school teacher who incidentally always wore brightly coloured/interesting stockings. Therefore something that was once comforting becomes sexually charged. Many people are not able to specifically trace their fetishes. I think that mine stems from a childhood full of play wrestling with my parents. My Mom often held me down and would tickle me relentlessly despite me demanding that she stopped, because she thought it was cute. I link that kind of power dynamic with comfort and love, and now I'm very submissive.
>>25725482 >>25725780 This thread gave me cancer.Like literally.Women posting.Women talking about BDSM.Women.I`m sick to the fucking bone.My insides are melting.Just get the fuck out of this board and crawl back to the ungodly shithole you came from.This kind of shit just doesn`t belong on here.It made me feel even worse.This place is a safe haven for robots.Don`t come in here anymore you roastie.Also BDSM is a shit-tier fetish.
Life is full of unreconciled paradoxes and complexities in general, but it's at least one major contending theory of human nature altogether, beginning with Freud, that our "rational" or even conscious minds are just ramshackle amalgamations of appropriated drives floating on seas of psychosexual instinct. The idea is that we are basically balls of wants-to-fuck because we evolved to perpetuate our genes, and that this doesn't just express itself in "vanilla" sex but in all kinds of power relationships and subversions and sublimations of them. It's a fairly prominent underlying theory of the last hundred years that ALL sex is shot through with power dynamics and disparities. Men are rapey, women are chthonic-y, men want to conquer and subdue what they can't have by birthright (pussy, an end to their unending desire), and women want to swallow and encompass the men to take what they can't have by birthright (male social power, status, wealth).
BDSM is a way for people to confront some of their unreconciled and probably unreconcilable sexual desires ("Why do I want to pee on people?") by just indulging them in circumscribed roleplay ("I dunno, but I'm gonna do it, because it gets rid of that inexplicable urge").
A lot of people take it too far depending on your perspective. Personally I think giving you whole life up for constant sexual roleplay is a bit weird, but some people spend their whole lives working 9-5 to watch shitty TV they barely like, so maybe the 24/7 slaves of the world aren't all that crazy.
My thing that I can't reconcile is how much my brain seems to think that I should worship women. BDSM lets me get rid of that in a safe-ish way, I guess.
>>25725482 >mfw I thought all BDSM freaks were sick fucks but it turns out there ordinary people just having fun and I'M the sick fuck for wanting to so this stuff with no remorse or concern for the sub at all
>>25726132 Well I'm submissive but I always vehemently identify myself as a brat from the get-go, because I do like to challenge a Dom's authority and have things more forced. That's just my particular personality, I think. I agree that it's definitely misleading when girls don't understand BDSM in depth and identify themselves as "EXTREMUHLY SUBMISSAV" when they actually enjoy a power struggle.
I once broke up with a gf and felt really bad and jealous when she moved on. A year or so later a fantasy popped into my mind where her and her sister made me lick their asses in a degrading way.
But most BDSM shit is too much. It's like I want to see a girl get slightly roughed up and tied down. It starts off that way and my dick is diamonds. Then they start dunking the bitches head under water and tie up their tits so they turn purple and start shocking her clit and I go limp... too far man. These freaks ruin their porn by going too far.
>>25725780 I usually like to get really high before we start because it makes me so much more aware of things around me and removes a lot of the psychological barriers I have.
I used to cut a lot in the past so Im used to pain. I havent really explored that yet, but the closest thing to subspace ive met is the euphoric nirvana you get to when you cause a lot of pain over time to your body.
That endorphine release from the pain puts you in this like numb depersonalized non-existent space. I'm interested in merging the three, but my dom isnt ready and neither am I.
I havent really tried any more of the hardcore drugs so I cant compare them.
>>25725841 Its so important! People dont understand. Not having that relationship and trust and aftercare is the reason why prostitutes and porn actors are so fucked up. Not having that deeply fucks up a person and Im not sure its something you can fix because it would shatter your soul.
>>25725936 The sex is the least important part anon. I grew up as a catholic boy and went to catechism and was forced to sit in church. Church is nothing but a cult meeting and a cacophany of asses braying. Anyone who is religious is never a good person. They do things for selfish reasons and make outcasts of everyone and theres not a single thought of love in them. My master not only loves me but shows me he loves me and proves it over and over and over and everything he does is completely an act of love. We are separate entities, but we spend a lot of time together psychologically as one and he loves me on so many levels.
>>25725982 entitled? I earn my rewards. Im my master's bestfriend. I'll service him whenever he wants. I'll make him get serviced if I think he needs it. None of it is a chore or something I withhold from him. Its his right and my duty. Women who withhold sex are incredibly pathetic and stupid in my eyes.
>>25726239 Start from your own fantasies and don't judge whether you'll like something based on the porn of it. Porn is always horrible and incompetent, usually made by people who don't have the fetish themselves or who have really specific versions of it.
>>25723355 >sub male I am not really into all this humiliation and degradation yet I still like to serve and receive punishments. It makes me happy to make my mistress happy. It makes me happy to feel like a pray not the hunter. To cut the crap, I am turned on by the same things most women are. It kinda makes me sad because only about 10% of women are dominant. Being with submissive woman feels like shit, she wants me to take her and I want her to take me.
>>25725954 here. >>25726249 Ayyy, high five. To me it's not even really a character though. It's just how I am in general. I sometimes wish I could be a better sub. But I admit it makes things a lot more interesting. >>25726257 >I usually like to get really high before we start >I used to cut a lot in the past >People dont understand All of these redflags >Not having that relationship and trust and aftercare is the reason why prostitutes and porn actors are so fucked up. Not having that deeply fucks up a person. Implying you aren't also a deeply fucked up slut and/or borderline mentally challenged. >>25726271 Well it's sort of an unattractive quality in a dom to be childish and tantrum-y when he doesn't get "what he wants". You seem really immature in your wants, like you're willing to do really extreme things to a girl but don't want to put in the effort or aftercare. It's all just "I WANT WHAT I WANT GIVE IT TO ME WAAAAHHHH" You've said that you're not able to "tell" if a woman is truly submissive, but that's because you're clearly not communicating with them and being upfront. Communication is a huge part of BDSM. Why would any submissive want to completely hand over the key to their sexual autonomy to somebody who acts like this? Reflect on how you're acting and consider that maybe it isn't the girls that are the issue, when you've been the common denominator all along. It's actually very hard to find a decent dom who can be gentleman and treat their subs with respect outside of the bedroom. TLDR; You're a fuqqin spoiled brat dom m8
Normies will never understand the need to own or be owner by a person.
I don't do the cheesy old person bullshit with yes Master this and slave that with protocol and stupid shit. I also don't believe in safe words or limits either though so maybe I"m not bdsm in the traditional sense. My sexy times are rather vanilla as far as kink goes. I like spanking that's about it. I don't have the patience for teasing and all that faggotry. I just want to get mine and be done. The relationship dynamics are important though even if it's not silly cosplay shit. I want the girl to always be in deference to me.
>>25726451 it does not hurt you in any way if you want it. I would give anything for relationship with slightly sadistic dominant woman that has desire to bring medieval upon me from time to time. she wants to hurt me I want to be hurt what's the problem? also you know there are hard limits and safe words, it is not like someone is going to tie you up and beat the shit out of you. unless you are stupid and try bdsm with someone you barely know.
>>25725974 I dont know if I should be insulted or happy you called me a girl. I've been here for a long time anon. It was mostly me and texasraider that completely supplied /d/ with most of its porn. You frog posters shit up this board in the last year or so. /r9k/ was a better board when it wasn't filled with white people problems and autists who cant get a girlfriend. It used to be where all the fucked up weirdos from /b/ congregated. Now its just sort of a dumping ground for everyone who's too socially retarded to get along on reddit or /soc/, so they bring all their autism here now. post related >>>/lgbt/5538763
>>25726053 Yeah its more of a special moments thing for me but I can totally see what youre saying about the 24/7. I think turning it off and relaxing allows you to recharge and makes it seem special. I would be lying if I didnt love being teased about it all the time though.
>>25726073 Yeah that's really fucked up and youre gonna seriously injure someone or kill them and ruin your life and your ability to have sex forever and traumatize yourself if it happens.
>>25726182 Ive encountered this as well. Women are usually stupid and have little to no experience with their bodies or sexuality and just say what they think you want to hear. They make me very uncomfortable and often will not respect safe words. I flat out refuse to do anything bdsm with someone like that. You have to be able to submit and know what you want before you can have someone else control you. Otherwise they are just awkwardly poking around in the darkness and you'll just get pissed off or feel raped or whatever.
>>25726488 I'm more dominant than bratty outside of the bedroom, but it's not a fetish I carry into daily life.
I don't think that being a brat makes a person an inherently bad sub. In theory, a good dom would be interested in having their limits stretched and proving themselves kind of like how subs do. They earn their devotion and, eventually, good behavior.
I'll also echo what you're telling the guy who just wants things his way. That's a red flag. No one just gets what they want right away, both people have to put in a great deal of effort before anything sexual even remotely starts.
>>25726489 >doesn't believe in safe words red flag
>>25723355 >not experimenting with mystical states of apprehension >not harnessing your own starkly individuated consciousness and deliberately subordinating it to the whims of another person >not reflecting on the nature of freedom while consciously bending every conscious and unconscious facet of your mind to her pleasure, to her convenience >not palpating the suppleness and liveliness of your own dignity by parading it in masquerade beneath the pussy of a woman >not answering Nozick's question of what is it to be a bat? by asking yourself, in your attenuated altered state, what is it to be a slave? >not feeling your consciousness and selfhood under and in through someone else's, reaching beneath them in supplication and being accepted as an extension of their own and thereby appreciating your own all the more >not eating pussy while wearing a leash that was crudely fashioned from a belt that was on the floor under a laundry pile and embarrassingly took her 25 minutes to look for while you knelt, holding your tongue out like a dog even though you mouth started to get dry >not demonstrating that you are willing to submit to her even when it's humiliating >not taking all the burden of awkwardness and embarrassment on yourself and showing that your still willing to kneel there >not showing her that her awkward moments, indecisive changes of decision or moods are still infinitely above every rational bone in your body >not allowing yourself the ecstasy of total sexual liberation >not allowing her to tap into the pure essence of her own dionysian femininity, becoming an object of worship in her own temple >not eating her shit
>>25726614 I'm basing this on the way you've spoken about your situation, anon. Then again, spoiled doms generally aren't very self aware. >>25726624 Yeah, I'd agree with what you're saying actually. It's nice to meet somebody like-minded. >>25726490 I know a bunch of dommes personally, and you are the worst fucking kind of guy. That's called financial domination, and it's sort of a huge part of submitting to a femdom. Especially an online domme, obviously. These women have hoards of horny losers bugging them all day, and you need to prove that you're at least worth her time. Oh, you can entertain? You'll lick her pussy all day if she wants? Cool, but she doesn't want that. She can get these things from anybody, she's a goddess. She doesn't want your dirty tongue on her, that's gross. Femdoms value money, and very good/obedient behaviour. You should ask yourself if you're truly the submissive one when you're contacting these women and telling them what YOU want and what YOU like. It's not about your likes or wants or desires, it's about hers and her demands. The only way you're going to get a femdom to just dominate you for free is if you're in an actual relationship with one, which is what you should pursue instead of wasting the time of real mistresses and dominatrixes with your bullshit. >A post that describes this dynamic completely, written by a domme: "Nothing irritates me more than guys who are like "I want to entertain you mistress!" And I say, "Okay, watchu got?" and they're like, "Let me stroke for you!" Why would I be entertained by you beating your gross dick? How up your own ass are you that you think that would be entertaining? And then when I point this out or say, "Yeah, I guess it is pretty entertaining that you have to pay me to even acknowledge you while you whack off.", They get mad and leave.. Haha, fake-ass submissives."
>>25726818 >>25726871 SEE? THIS. He's in an actual relationship with his domme and is a good/obedient puppy to fulfill her wants in exchange for reward and is glad to do it. Instead of messaging pro dommes on fetlife like a cocky idiot. >>25726928 A large part of being a brat is con-noncon and struggling, obviously. >>25726941 Exactly, yes. I'm not a femdom but it riles me up.
>>25726249 >>25726257 Better to do normal sex stuffs and work up to it. This one girl i dated said that shit and eventually I figured out she what she really wanted and actually wanted to fight me a bit and have me slam her against stuff. Often times they say like "I want to be raped" but what they mean is they want to act out scenarios like being a Valkyrie who's been bested in combat and is held down and used as a cum dumpster. So even though she said submissive, she actually wanted me to come up to her and tell her I wanted to fuck her and shed say no or whatever and she didnt want to use safewords which would piss me off and make me uncomfortable. So I'd just go from her non-verbal cues and just grab her and slam her against something and let her struggle and hold her down and show her that she was nothing to me and I would do what I wanted. Then shed get to fight and Id push er down and force my cock in her mouth and shed get to look at me in her cute little angry faced and id smile and laugh at her stupid pathetic attempts to resist. Then eventually shed reach her subspace and stop resisting completely and get used and cumdumpstered.
>>25726488 sure I have problems but what were weaknesses, I now consider strengths. Bringing all this stuff to the table and my master using it as a tool in my submission has allowed me to heal and let go of those issues moreso than any therapy ever has. When I throw everything possible at him with all my worst nighmares and insecurities and he just looks at me and smiles, words cant explain how much it means to me. Ive never felt more fulfilled and happy in my life then my relationship with my master. I might marry him one day. Like the other anon said you assume a lot. I agree on the communication thing.
>>25726941 My biggest fantasy is being dommed by a girl for months, then eventually snapping and beating her savagely in a fit of rage. Then I keep her in my house and beat and rape her until she is my mindbroken servant.
>>25726818 >That's called financial domination, and it's sort of a huge part of submitting to a femdom.
No it's not. You and your awful fucking trendy BDSM hipster faggot crew turned it into that to rationalise women being prostitutes.
Findom used to be a minority and rarity in the fetish but your literal whore friends streamlined it that way to exploit all the unsolicited attention they were basking in.
They don't get off on findom. No one does. Every single girl on fetlife has her main (sub) profile and then a rider of "btw im a switch but only looking for pay pigs !!! lol" at the end.
Every other BDSM chick is a "findom." Every model I've worked with, fetish or otherwise, every random girl on Fetlife, actual domme or otherwise, EVERY ONE. The fucking roommates, plural, of the last domme I had were findoms because they saw what she was doing and wanted to cash in on it. It's all a bunch of fake shit to rationalise stealing money, and credulous retards like you buy into it because you're so obsessed with being part of some hipster ~BDSM SCENE~.
>>25726818 relationship with dominant woman is what I am after. I am willing to spend my money on clothes and other stuff for my partner instead of new car but I expect relationship not few hours long sessions. what I was complaining about is fact that even on dating site once you stumble upon dominant woman there are high chances she is just looking for clients. I mean fuck sake get your own site and make one of your subs pay for advertisement. real life dating is fine but there is almost no chance to tell in advance what kind of nature given woman is. and it feels rather stupid to tell woman after decent date "oh you are submissive? I am sorry I am not interested."
>>25726941 WOW you've stumbled upon the super secret mystery that people into being sub in BDSM are actually just fetishists who like certain scenarios!!
I'll be sure to remember the next time I'm domming a girl that she should have no limits and no preferences and should be into whatever weird specific crap I'm into, because otherwise she's not a real sub, she just has specific scenarios she likes!
>>25727126 There is nothing more righteous to me than sexual violence. I can't imagine how amazing it would be to live out, to reduce someone to an extension of your self and will after having taken shit from them for so long. Like artificial revenge.
While I agree that demanding dommes fulfill your specific fetishes kind of defeats the point of femdom, I don't feel it's unreasonable for men to want to have a dynamic that also benefits their needs and makes them feel good.
For instance, financial domination does absolutely nothing for me. I get no pleasure in the idea of being a walking, talking wallet. I don't think that makes me selfish or an asshole, it's just not a dynamic that interests me in the slightest.
>>25726489 Safe words/flags/stoplights are there for safety and for checking in on a submissive without having to be a faggot and say "EXPLAIN TO ME EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL AND LETS RUIN THE SCENARIO DOING THIS". I dont usually use terms like master unless Im in subspace then it just comes out and I cant help it. I cant really control anything. All I can do is beg and plead like his cock is the air I need to breathe. I still feel pretty gay and lame saying it when im not in subspace and he knows this and makes me do it and I feel embarassed and he kinda just laughs to himself because taunting and humiliating me is amusing to him.
>>25726490 Thats disgusting. You cant buy my trust or pay for things. I would think of you as an incredibly pathetic person for even attempting that. I mean I could understand if you were doing it as a service like a sex dungeon or something and people paid you for the opportunity for you to train them, but otherwise fuck no. That relationship is earned not bought.
>>25726818 >doing it for money >close to no pleasure >probably not even truly dominant women you describe as dommes are just more expensive whores fampai. it is obvious they are going to hate people who don't like to pay. at the other hand I understand. internet is full of really pathetic sub man.
>>25726597 I now know for myself why people despise tripfags./r9k/ was full of bitter virgins since maybe 2010.And this is after all a containment board.Existing so bitter virgins can pat eachother on the back here,instead of going out of their way to ruin other boards with their bitter virgin rage.As you can guess,I`m also a robot.And I don`t understand why you`d share a story about your functional relationship...on fucking /r9k/.I`m surprised people aren`t getting mad at you.This thread is so unlike what this board is,in general.But seriously your tripfag sense of superiority and uniqueness are so infuriating to look upon.I`m as I said before sick.With both jealousy and straightforward hatred.Just get out.Find some other board.And just stay out of my frogposter safehaven.I`m broken and bitter enough.
>>25727048 >Trendy BDSM hipster faggot crew My current career is completely fetish-based (I'm not a sex worker) and am a personal assistant to a dominatrix. Keep being upset that you have nothing to truly offer pro mistresses. >>25727074 I didn't say it was just money, I also stated that they like GOOD BEHAVIOUR AND OBEDIENCE. The domme that I PA for is currently looking for a sub that is interested in extreme play and will let her do anything to him, because that is what would entertain her. She's also looking for an older gentleman to come and do cleaning/be her butler in exchange for reward because that would be an actual service for her and entertaining. Not idiot fake subs offering to lick her butthole because that's THEIR fetish. Licking her ass isn't a service or entertainment, it'd be given as a fucking reward from her for the services that she requires. There's a difference between the pro dommes that you're soliciting who do this for a living and dominant women that you would be in a relationship with to have a mutual give and take. It's like you all have no concept of the fact that there are literally *hundreds* of men contacting pro dommes, and that it has become very competitive. >>25727087 It really isn't rocket science to go onto okcupid or tinder and state that you're looking for a relationship with a dominant woman. I really and truly wish you the best of luck in finding somebody like this, though. I understand that this is the ideal dynamic despite it being hard to find, which is why many women capitalize on their dominant nature financially. >>25727163 It's okay to outline what your kinks and preferences are in order to define what you would like your reward to be. It's silly to approach a domme asking her to partake in your fetishes immediately disguised as a service to her.
>>25726928 Basically allowing yourself to be raped is really high up on the list though. I dont think many people are ready. That takes a huge amount of trust and safewords and the dom needs to be extremely experienced especially if stuff like suffication and physical beating is involved. You can easily really fucking hurt someone if you dont know what youre doing. Thats the reason why you see so many cuts in aggresive hardcore porn. They are resetting the situation and allowing the sub their time and comfort and everyone sorta holds them and comforts them until they regain their composure. You can seriously freak out either as the sub or the dom. Someone whos been hurt in the past can easily flip their shit and have a psychotic breakdown and if you arent ready to immediately help them with everything aftercare wise, not only will you lose your relationship but that shit would fucking weigh on your soul and fuck with you for a long time.
>>25727048 this so much this. its fucking disgusting and disgraceful.
>>25727126 Yes that is awesome. Knowing exactly whats going to happen more or less makes me feel so comfortable. I mean just a little: "im gonna slap you and yell at you for something and then molest you and feel you up and force you to blow me and I want to tie you up and fuck you doggy and cum all over your face and use my dick to rub it in your face." "I want you to be shocked and betrayed that Id do this and try and fight me at first but panick and attempt to flee and when I put my cock in your mouth I want you to realize that you really always wanted this and accept your role and tell me how you secretly always wanted it. etc.
Having the scene choreographed loosely and getting to improv and allow my subspace self to take over is wonderful. I feel so safe and relaxed doing shit that way. Its the best
>>25727149 Communication is important. Not talking is how you hurt people and fuck up a relationship
>>25727569 >I offer them more money than findom does, and the result is they admit openly that they are whores. So you admit that you're getting financially cucked and rused by these women? You'll deny it, but you're being used just like the findom cucks are. >Women are dogshit. Get dommed by them, fap, go back to vidya. Women are dogshit but you still base your career around them and desire them to dom you. What a pathetic and bitter little existence. >>25727617 I don't know a lot about online dating because I've never tried it, but there has to be a way to put your intentions out there and get some sort of return. I hope the best for you, anon.
>>25723355 I don't know, I always had fantasies of being dominated, since I was a little kid. I remember my first hard-on was with a scene of a movie I catched on tv were a girl was tied to a pool table and other girl started to slap her. I think it's because I used to play the "dog" with my older female cousin, and guess what that implied? I wouldn't be surprises if she of some kind of dom with her bf now. Also I'm a weak willed male who needs praise all the time, so having a girl telling me that I'm a good boy and rewarding me after doing something for her makes me happy and the humilation aspects gets me hard, my ex girlfriend used to take advantage of that, so I'm trying to disimulate it now.
>not into whipping/pain >not into candle shit >not into latex >not into extreme tying up and dunking in water >not into the whole bdsm foreplay >just like seeing cute/sexy girls getting cuffed, chained, collared and getting fugged
>>25727967 not really. people in those threads usually get mad at other people that do not get basics of bdsm. >dommes being fake and money hungry >subs being selfish >people not caring about safety >etc.
>watch video of qt >would gf >would hold tenderly >suddenly forced to drink her own piss >tears begin dribbling down her face >she's forced to say "thank you master" to this fat, abhorrent cunt >women would rather do this than be gf to a quiet dude
>>25727454 Personally i like the style of writing about a sentence at a time or so and hitting enter to mimmick the style of greentexting. That way it fits on a lot of screens and huge like 4k screens, it doesnt span the entire width of the monitor.
Youre literally retarded btw. I just made up a random trip for this particular thread. Thats how trips are meant to be used anon. It comes off after this thread dies. im sorry you dont understand how 4chan culture works.
>>25727687 I mean I dont mind the whole pain thing. I might eventually get into being cut with knives and stuff with bloodplay but the way you describe it reminds me of the guy who wanted to feed the girl eggs. Being with someone you can trust to hurt you in a good way is different from a psychotic sadist who wants to stuff your mouth full of cockroaches and light you on fire and put you in a cement barrel.
>>25727876 Thats like a softer version of what they mean whey they say con-noncon. Consentual non-consentual sex. Like my scenario here >>25726973>>25727530 The non-consentual part would be without planning and just doing it. Like I gave you permission to rape me and randomly in the middle of the night, youd lube up your dick while we are asleep and covering my mouth with your hand and jamming it in all of a sudden and holding me down and using me.
I think most of the time once youve established your relationship with your dom that most of the sex is con-noncon and scenarios are when you have time and planning. Thats whats nice about trusting your dom so much that you can both freely play however you want because youre safe with each other.
>>25728065 I admit I`m a newfag. I am aware this board was not mean for incel faggots like me,but rather degenerated into this overtime. I have yet to grasp the finer points of 4chan culture. Which by the way varies from board to board and shifts and evolves endlessly. I`m too angry and have not yet become complacent so I`m not wizardchan worthy. And also you and your oldfagottry is somewhat annoying and elitistic,with your "I`ve been here longer and so even if I`m so utterly divergent from this board`s culture,it`s ok and newfags can fuck off and die in a pit" mentality. I`m fucking sick of this board being invaded by normies all over again,just when we conquered it. We made our own damn culture. We managed to actually produce some decent evidence on why normies should get out and are also utterly worthless human beings. And here you come again with your functional lives. Just get out and go to a board that would care about your faggotry.
I'm a female switch. I grew up thinking women should be submissive because that's what I was exposed to in pornography/etc. but it never really felt right at all. I don't think it was ever for me and now outright sexual submissiveness makes me feel really awkward and grossed out in general.
I'm kind of meek and submissive in my personality, but I like taking care of people and nurturing them. I feel like I have really strong maternal instincts. I guess that sort of translates to sex too. So I guess I prefer to be more dominant in the bedroom and weaker and more submissive in other aspects of life.
>>25727848 Its from a video and that one little clip is the only hot part. Everything else was like stupid and vanilla as fuck and boring.
>>25726451 Its the opposite for me. I get to focus all of the pain and insecurities I have into something positive, rewarding, and loving. What >>25726501 said. I feel if anything I should dom more because I need practice because I lack a lot of empathy and dont care about other's concerns I feel really bad about it and worry I might push people too far sometimes. I know my own limits and push myself to the extreme and its hard for me to read others sometimes. I guess its why I like safewords and things because Im kind of a sadist and probably have aspegers or something. its really hard for me to read people's emotions. Its kind of hard for me to tell if I slap you in the face if I did it too hard or if you liked it or are just in pain. All I know is I like slapping you in the face. I can totally do the opposite and communicate really well when its my own feelings and reactions but the other way around I usually just feel clueless. So all that communication with me is super important or I'll probably misjudge and hurt you and then feel horrible and cry about it.
>>25728065 >final one in comment here Yeah, maybe. My hope is to have someone who is sort of maternal in how they act while using me. Ever heard of mon-musu quest? there's one character who is the perfect idea of who im talking about called alma-elma. something like her
>>25727967 Not really, it's just that people with no experience in the scene think it should be a certain way. There's a massive difference between BDSM and just being abusive, which most people who've not actually done anything more extreme than light spanking have no idea about.
When people could get seriously injured or get infections as a result of your sexual activity, trust and being safe about the entire thing is by far the most important aspect.
Some random people that have only ever jerked it to fetish videos on the web don't really represent the entire community.
>>25728281 Its not really anything like that anon. Its nothing serious. I think what happened was people were just trolling with the stupid ass frog and then people took it seriously and now its like this half-serious running gag. most everything on 4chan isnt really serious just people talking shit and lying about everything. I could just be lying about everything and Im actually a gay black man. You dont know. Basically everything revolves around the game and trolling and if you admit youre upset, you lose. I dont know. I grew up giving everyone shit and calling everyone faggots because playing devil's advocate is fun. I hope you realize that being an mtf, I have no muscles at all and have a tiny dick and tiny balls and I sound like a faggot and my shits all retarded. There isnt really any legion or muh /b/ or whatever. Its just a bunch of random people talking about dicks all day on a Vietnamese webm collection website. I didnt mean to hurt your feelings or anything. Im just very combative personality wise I guess.
>>25728388 You dont have to be aggressive or punitive as a dom. I could easily see it going the other way where you were extremely loving and helping. I totally get where youre coming from. It kinda sounds like you could just incoprorate the whole idea of after care into the sex part. Making him cum because its whats best for him. Ordering him to stop what hes doing to listen to you and be taken care of. I would think a lot of the incest and milf stuff would easily carry over into that.
Youd probably do really well to be with someone like >>25727882 who doesnt need a punishing dom but someone who could dominate and care for them and give them direction and order in their lives. They'd need someone who'd let them worship them and get tons of attention and adoring love in return.
>>25729186 Thats what im doing right now. Everything seems to be working out. I at least got the first step down and it worked. Ive never trusted anyone before like this. Especially with all the issues and things. He seems to be okay with it and loves me and accepts me. I hope it works out. Theres another guy who likes me too and Im like average and just sorta andro right now. Dont give up hope. I would be dead if it werent for that exact hope you said. That thought kept me going when I was closest to death. It was worth waiting and looking to find it. I know now that its at least a possibility if my relationship fails miserably. Good luck sister.
>>25729229 Weren`t you this roastie that talked about her functional BDSM relationship.And I guess I did overreact.Comes with being a robot.To be frank I started browsing around this September,when I realized exactly how rage-filled robots were.I was into this site`s culture for a while back then,reading decent threads and browsing ED like crazy.Realizing how there was a place where 4chan and incel culture intertwined I rushed here to shout "REEE NORMIES GET THE FUCK OUUUT!!!!" and collect pepes.I kind of got triggered,because I`m not sure how much of this board is actually serious.And what you`re talking about is more like old 4chan,I`m not sure if it`s really like that anymore,seeing as my other experience with this site is /m/ which I frequent too,due to my obsession with giant robots shooting other giant robots in the face repeatedly with lazors.To be frank I expected you to attack me personally and for this argument to drag on endlessly.Now I will actually try and be useful to the thread.I have an inflation fetish and I`ve read it falls under the BDSM spectrum.Is that true?
>>25729849 I have a dick anon lol Inflation fetish is one of those fetishes thats hard to translate to real life. I think they make like bubble suits and stuff. You might look into latex fetish or im not sure what youd call it like liquid insertions or something? Maybe the occasional enema could get you that like filled feeling. I know theres a lot of halloween costumes that have a fan on the back that pumps in air and and it slowly fills up and you walk around in an air conditioned suit.
I mean money is no object, you could probably ask one of those movie sfx studios to make you a suit where you could inflate it. Thats probably something theyd be comfortable making and have the skill to do it, but it would probably be very expensive.
>>25725780 >Then after the sexy times, the most important part is the aftercare that the dom needs to do. >He needs to treat me like his princess and caress me and tell me how much I mean to him and clean me up and hold me.
Which is exactly the abuse/love behavior pattern. This part especially where the sub equates that the abuse with love and that the abuse is done out of love. It's all just manipulation. Depending on how deep the relationship goes it can create a type of Stockholm syndrome.
>>25730156 I`m aware of this kind of shit.Sadly I`m not aroused so much by the actual inflation,but rather by the psychological dynamics between inflator and inflatee.And even then I don`t like electric pumps.So sadly my fetish is limited to online RP and fapping to inflation stuff on dA.
>>25730177 I have bpd and its completely the opposite experience for me. In all my past relationships, its been a horrible nightmare of mistrust and manipulation and neurotic love. Now with my dom I get constant reassurance and love and affection and get to be shown exactly where I am and how much I mean to him. Any grievance I have, all I have to do is bring it up to him and he fixes it and reminds me how much he cherishes me and he calms me down and everything is okay. My hysterical behavior hardly ever comes out anymore because of all of the confidence he's instilled in me.
>>25730282 No you dont understand. He's not abusing me. He's rough with me and its playing. Like when puppies nip and bite at each other or you play with your dog and smack them in the face and degrade them and you sorta challenge their dominance and put them in their place and afterwards its all smiles and pets and hugs and you tell them good dog and you throw the ball for them. Its more of a master and apprentice romantic dynamic. I push him. He pushes me. We grow together. Acting and putting on a performance takes a lot out of you physically, emotionally, and psychologically. Everyony pretty much fucks and cuddles a bit afterwards. BDSM is to ramp all of that up to higher and higher levels and you need the aftercare to match with the same increase in intensity. Any scene should be like 40% sexual act and 60% after care.
>>25725482 >A dom is someone who's concerned that his sub is absolutely comfortable, feels safe, and treats his sub with overwhelming adoration and worships them.
>>25725841 >Seriously, fuck people who don't practice aftercare, they are scary.
>>25726488 >You seem really immature in your wants, like you're willing to do really extreme things to a girl but don't want to put in the effort or aftercare.
>>25727530 >Someone whos been hurt in the past can easily flip their shit and have a psychotic breakdown and if you arent ready to immediately help them with everything aftercare wise, not only will you lose your relationship but that shit would fucking weigh on your soul and fuck with you for a long time.
God this is why I'm a virgin. I could never treat a sub with the adoration and worship she supposedly deserves, so I'd just be an abusive guy.
I don't want to be an abusive guy, so it's better to just never have sex.
every time I read those threads I feel like a shit. the more I learn about bdsm the more appealing it sounds to me and then I feel like it is too good to happen to me. atm I am trying to blend into local bdsm community so I hope it might bring some fruits but still I am not really sure.
>>25730729 >I feel like it is too good to happen to me. I agree. I feel like subs have unrealistic expectations and that makes me stay away from the "community" even though I play the role of a dominant to a degree (even if I'm not a """true dom""").
>>25730775 as a sub I can see your point. most subs want to be punished and they feel like it is what their dominant partners want to do as well. I mean even I would like to be punished really often but it is selfish. some domme told me that her favorite punishment is to completely ignore her sub. back then I truly understood what is punishment and what is reward. I mean some dominant people might enjoy inflicting pain and so on but what makes them happy (in my opinion that might be completely wrong) is obedience, submission, adoration...
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