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>sitting at a house party on the couch
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Thread replies: 13
Thread images: 2
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>sitting at a house party on the couch
>been drinking vodka and cokes all night like a boss
>grill sat next to me talking
>she offers me a coffee. Not sure why, but she made that shit like a supreme wife material
>drank that shit and started talking about the skeptical philosophy of Hume and his influence on contemporary postmodernism.
> after 20 minutes feel a coffee fart brewing but figure it'll be OK
>room smokey, cats hitting the bud
>try to unleash a silent one that I can look around in an accusatory manner at some other area and make a joke out of.
>fart is one loud flatland pop, followed by the unmistakable warmth of liquid.
>horrible wet ripping sound emerges from my ass like a wet fish falling down a washing board.
>room looks over as I feel a huge spreading stain of wet shit flow around my cheeks into the couch through my jeans.
> bit of an awkward moment.
>look for a joke to lighten the mood. Grill is literally staring at me
> come with "if a shart happens in a forest with no one hears it, is there still shit on the couch?"
> crickets, even though the joke game was sublime.
> scared to move
> eventually get up. Wearing jeans so not too obvious on me, but the couch looks like a Danish beach 2 weeks after a whale slaughter
> head home and delete Facebook.

How do I rebuild my social life from scratch? Should I kill myself?
>>
>vodka and coke
What the FUCK REEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
and thus a robot is born
>>
>>25714091
Drink of kings.
>>
>>25714057

she still likes you tho.
>>
>>25714177
No. She actually posted about it on facebook. Which is why I had to delete it. She called me creepy shit boy.
>>
>>25714151
rum and coke maybe
>>
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Damn homie. Closest I have to that is
>back in high school
>second period AP economics
>super qt mulatto girl, talk with her time to time, very smart girl
>decide to sack up and ask her out
>chatting at the end of the period
>So, I was thinking that maybe, Saturday, you and I could-
>BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP
>super loud, super long fart comes out of fucking nowhere, didn't feel it brewing at all
>actually goes on for a solid fifteen seconds, I'll never forget exactly how long it went
>she just stared at me as I felt my face turning beet red
>went straight to the office and dropped the class
I have literally never met another girl who has read The Wealth of Nations in its entirety. Or at all. Or has even heard of it. Or even knows what the word "economics" means.
>>
>>25714151
No wonder you shit yourself
>>
ehh you sound like a normie so eventually you will have friends again or even keep some of the ones who had, but this will always be with you

own it and move on
>>
>>25714399
Dude I've been trying to get with a chick just like that, exept she's eurasian not mullato.
>>
>>25714091
this

what the fuck were you thinking OP
>>
>>25714057
yr fucked m8 kek
Thread replies: 13
Thread images: 2
Thread DB ID: 406160



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