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What's the most autistic thi9ng you...
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Thread replies: 89
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What's the most autistic thi9ng you have done thinking it would help you with girls, r9k?

Mind would have to be spending 300$ on a 75ml bottle of fucking cologne. I posted this in another thread but i may as well post it again.

>I was reading about how girls were saying to people they loved it on various forums
>random girls were giving people compliments, sniffing their necks and other things like that so i bought it hoping it would happen to me. Not one compliment, not one girl interested.
>No nothing
>Zilch
>End up getting devastated.
>>
that's pretty sad, but even if you smell nice, nobody will do stuff like that if you're not super attractive.
>>
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>>25666408

Yeah, except it didn't stop there. I also ended up buying Green Irish tweed by creed for 320$ thinking it might work this time.

... It didn't work. I feel like such a fucking useless fuck up.
>>
>>25666377
You need to be above average that pull that off anon. You can't rely on cologne alone, but I'm pretty sure you know this. If you're like me you tried everything like better clothes, haircut and accessories. Sorry anon:(
>>
>>25666377

Two things:

You're Australian so $300 of your dollars is like what, $200 USD?

You still got two really nice colognes, you know people will buy half used bottles on eBay right?
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>>25666507
I tried dressing nice and doing my hair, picture related is 600$ worth of cologne i bought to try and impress girls with.

Never worked stopped using them.
>>
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That's what you get for not mixing some of your ball sweat in there, anon.
>>
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>>25666532
Edit, they sell Irish tweed for 369$ now.

http://shop.davidjones.com.au/djs/en/davidjones/green-irish-tweed-120ml
>>
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Best cologne is pussy juice can't someone make us this
>>
mate buy cologne with pheremones in it hehe.
>>
>>25666545
>people remember ballsweat

kek, that was an epic saga.
>>
>>25666558
>>25666532
>>25666377

I don't know why you thought this was going to work, especially when any $40 cologne would smell just as good. What was the though process behind this?
>>
Got /fit/.
>>
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>>25666610
>What was the though process behind this?

Did you even read the OP? There's hundreds and hundreds of forum posts about them. People boasting about how many girls start talking to them over how good they smell and shit. I got suckered in. I thought why cant it happen to me then?

I literally got jewed out of my money.
>>
>>25666377
Dang I actually straight here from /v/ because your post made me depressed.
>>
>>25666377
off topic anon, how are those headphones? HD-600's right? Been thinking of buying a pair, are they worth it? I have the HD-518, are the 600's a big improvement or at that point there are diminishing returns?
>>
>>25666733
They are HD650'S, not bad, buy an amp/dac.

>tfw too depressed to talk headphones now that i remembered how much i wasted to impress girls.
>>
>>25666377
LMAO you fell for the creed aventus scam!

dude, no form of perfume actually will make a girl have sex with you

You need looks, height, personality, money.. some combination of those 4
>>
>>25666754
I own an amp/dac, the shit stack
>>
>>25666634
>There's hundreds and hundreds of forum posts about them.

Yeah, but why the fuck would you believe that? Those posts are from people who are obviously mentally retarded. Whatever, just keep trying, eventually someone will like you.
>>
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>>25666532
future supreme gentlemen detected

I'm calling it.
>>
>>25666634
thats because those people were trying to justify their retarded ass purchase.
People will defend shit products if they spent a ton of money on it.
>>
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>>25666793
>Yeah, but why the fuck would you believe that?

Why the fuck do you think I'm here? I'm a 21 year old fucking loser with no friends, never had a female friend, don't go out and got fired from my job and currently looking for another one. I bought them like 1 year ago if not longer and just remembered them.

I wanted what they were boasting about from those threads, especially on bodybuilding.com how women kept asking them what they were wearing and stuff. I wanted to experience what they experienced.

But no girl gave a single fuck about me or what cologne i splashed my money on. But as soon as 6ft4 chad walked in with his 10$ Adidas perfume they went crazy and told him he smelled amazing.

Man fuck this.
>>
i too fell for the cologne meme

thankfully my only major losses were to la nuit and chanel allure homme blanche
>>
>>25666813
They might just have a paid shill or two doing all the postings
>>
>>25666857

OP here, funny enough i was also going to buy la nuit but lucky i didn't. I learned my lesson.
>>
I dieted and worked out for years and lost 200 lbs, acted like a chad and pretended to like normie things hoping that someone would genuinely love me.

It doesnt work robots, there is no escape from this hell

The darkness is the only truth
>>
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>>25666377
>I spend >$100 on bottles of cologne
>never get complimented for them
>wear Burberry London which I got for $20
>I start getting compliments left and right

What gives? I generally wear cologne for myself since I like the smell but it's a little disconcerting that the Dior fragrances I spent all that money on go unnoticed.
>>
>>25666575
ur mum

ORIGINALITYJIFDWEIFSFSHIFSJ
FFI
AF
>>
>>25666890

I also have burberry, I forgot to mention but after these two big purchases flunked i bought some smaller ones. Never been COMPLIMENTED EVER. Though i did hear one from an old male colleague when he smelled burberry on someone else he mentioned it smelled like old man.

So i stopped using that too.
>>
>>25666890
Because it's "subtle" fragances

>buying the smellyjew
>>
>>25666855
Okay, give us your height, weight, bodyfat (bmi need not to apply), cocksize, facial rate.

We'll tell you how fucked you are
>>
>>25667007
5'3
250lbs
???
4 inches
10/10
>>
>>25666813

I don't know man, they all seem very legit. People posting about them with hundreds/thousands of posts, YouTube videos of people asking strangers etc.. the whole lot. Either way i got fucked out of my money and learned a valuable lesson that looks are the main thing and everything else is second. Still fucking upsets me girls will give chad, sure he looks good. But tell him obvious lies about his shit tier perfume but not say a single word about mine.

>>25667007

6ft
I'm skinny (I run a lot)
6.5 inches length penis
I'd say 5/10 face.
>>
>>25667043

Also my weight is 74kg.
>>
>>25666910
I've been told I smell like an old man by someone for every fragrance I've worn with the exceptions of: D&G The One, Burberry London, and Dior Homme (I got told I smell feminine though with that one).
>>
>>25667077
when i wore l'instant de guerlain my coworker said i smelled like a nursing home
>>
>>25666813
props to OP for not doing that
>>
>>25667100
Ever worn Bleu de Chanel? That's probably the least offensive fragrance out there.
>>
>>25667043
Your height is ok, so is your cock (cock length influences your confidence).
Broaden your shoulders to get a good shoulders/hips ratio, go from skinny to DYEL.

If you don't like your haircut, a good one can bring you to 6.5/10 face.
Don't listen to /fa/gs, they'll spout the hitler youth meme.
Also, unless you're 8/10, to women you're 3/10.
>>
I used full PUA routines. Didn't work.
>>
>>25667132
Op, even got that shit. No compliments.

lol man fuck my shit up is all i can say.
>>
>>25666813
>turns out everyone is retarded as you
Why did my parents teach me respect?
>>
>>25667132
yeah

no one ever said anything negative. nor positive fwiw

fuck i probably spent $1k on garbage colognes that didn't get me ONE compliment and 2 insults (coworker said one smelled like a clean coolant)
>>
>>25667139
I beat a girl and threw her into the back of my truck.
seemed to work.
>>
>>25667143
How attractive would you say you are?

I'd say I'm a 5/10 (and a manlet on to boot) but I've got some weird pheromone thing as I've noticed that 1 out of every 20 women I interact with flirts heavily with me (and by extension makes up the main source of any compliments I get on cologne).
>>
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>>25667134
>to women you're 3/10.

I found that out long ago, making my shoulders or broad or what ever the fuck wont work either.

Nothing has. As said i've never even had a female friend.

>>25667207
>How attractive would you say you are?
see
>>25667043
>>
> does making dog smell nice, make it any of a peice of turd?

What did you expect OP?
>>
>>25667217
Don't get too hung up on that sort of thing. My stats are significantly worse than yours but I'm still able to get by with women.
>>
i just use old spice original deodorant and apparently i smell really nice from what i've been told.
>>
>>25667217
I wish I could say "If I was female, I'd be your friend".
Truth is, if I was female, you would just be a potential host for my parasitic existence.
>>
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>>25667268

I'm pretty fine over it since i know i have no chance, still it bothers me only slightly knowing chad will get anything just because he has the looks. He can dress like a bum and still get women. He can smell like BO and yet he still smells great. He can treat women like shit and they will come back just because he is above average in the looks department.

These supposed personality meaning squat you hear on here is complete bullshit. As someone else said; Make up on a pig is still a pig.

While you have a 5/10 male, me on the other side. Who worked hard and did 14 hour shifts to pay for my colognes, my clothes. Yet never once had someone say.

"Hey mate, looking good today."
"Hey you smell nice, watcha using?"

Yeah I'll admit, I'm bitter and jealous as absolute fuck.
>>
>>25666592
Post please, is there a ballsweat secret?
>>
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>>25667363
I reiterate my claim here >>25666798
OP is elliot in the making.
>>
>>25667370
Found that on reddit, sadly

Basically a robot put his balls in a plastic bag, tied with a rubber band, did some /fit/ exercice and used to use his ballsweat as cologne. It ended terribly when he told his friends or them finding out.

Don't confuse it with the story of another robot not using soap at all and just washing with water.

http://i.imgur.com/u7B6F2S.png
>>
>>25667414
I wouldn't kill anyone though, i feel bad even when i accidentally step on a snail. If anything I'd only off my self somewhere in a state forest.
>>
>>25667363
Have you ever tried to find a niche to help attract women?

What I've done is cultivated the image that I'm cultured and that has helped me attract women. Unfortunately, I've mostly wound up attracting bimbos and women who think being around me magically makes up for their own intellectual shortcomings. Either way, it's something worth trying (afterall that's how hipsters end up punching above their weight with the opposite sex).
>>
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>>25667414

Seriously question now, how are us robots supposed to make it when even Elliot who had everything including an expensive car, looks, money, and a famous daddy yet still failed? We don't have none of that.
>>
>>25667518

No and not going to since i gave up months ago once i got fired.
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>>25667332
>Truth is, if I was female, you would just be a potential host for my parasitic existence.
>>
>>25666377
You could've spent that same amount on 15 months of paid porn and been a lot more satisfied. :/
>>
>>25667134
>(cock length influences your confidence)

the fuck? stop memeing. I have a 7-incher with generous girth and my confidence has plummeted further and further as the years pass.
>>
>>25667594

That money is long gone, mate. Long fucking gone. Makes me cringe when i think about the stuff i did when i started using my colognes. I'd literally stand in a breeze so my smell would travel on everyone else, stand close to women at a bus stop, work etc..

Keep in mind i also played around with how many sprays i did, never put too much.

Also i forgot to mention since i didn't really see it needing to be mentioned. But at work one day when i was using aventus I'm also possible as i walked past two girls one said to the other that i fucking stank. I had my ipod on thinking i was deaf or something.
>>
>>25667618
Your confidence had somewhere to plummet from, though.

I'm sure there's 4-inched guys out there who have a much more difficult starting point as a virgin than you, based on sexual confidence alone.
>>
>>25667647

Not him, but i read lots about people who cry about having 4 inches on here, yet they also mention in the same post they have had an ex girlfriend or had one night stands despite having a "small dick".

Fuck them.
>>
>>25667618
I ain't memeing, brobot.
There is a correlation between self confidence and penis size, it even goes both ways.
>>
>>25667660
What about the dudes who get a girl but she cucks him because he has a small dick?

Don't you feel bad for them? Hell, I do.
>>
would buy the shit you guys wasted money on for a bit, at least you can minimize your losses and get some extra spending cash
>>
>>25667710
But usually he ended up getting pussy, or still was until he had an argument with her and shown her the text messages of her whoring around.

I never got that chance.
>>
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>>25667725

Does it make me autistic knowing i wont sell it to you in-case it gets you pussy and attention? that i never got but always wanted.

>that's how bitter i am
>>
>>25667632
If you want to impress girls, you need more than smell nice. Its just one factor that adds up to the overall impression. Also if you stank, you have probably overdone in
>>
>>25667755
It was one spray on my clothes. he did look like a Stacey real nice looking.
>>
>>25667729
How old are you? Why didn't you get that chance?

Don't you still believe you have that chance?
>>
>>25667764

I'm the OP, bro.
>>
you can probably sell your nearly full bottle on basenotes forum and get a good chunk of your money back desu

only fragrance i ever got female compliments for was liz claiborne curve for men (like $20)
>>
>>25667779
That's one of the main forums i went on before i bought them. Lots of boasting cunts on that website.

Die.
>>
>>25667751
its smells lol, If smell instantly got you pussy colone would be like 1000000000 dollars
>>
>>25667795
its a hive of business school psychos but if you want your money back then suck it up and pretend youre like them

i got aventus and realised it was what the office obese guy wore, never used it again in 2 years
>>
>>25667838
>i got aventus and realised it was what the office obese guy wore, never used it again in 2 years

Did he at least get pussy?
>>
>>25667774
So how old are you? I'm sure you'll eventually get a girl. What's your biggest problem with them?
>>
>>25666532
>Dressing nice

I wanna see what you are wearing/wore
>>
>>25667843
no hes 60 and lives with his mom
>>
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>>25667930
>no hes 60 and lives with his mom

j-just what i wanted to hear
>>
>>25666377
You literally did the corporeal equivalent of putting chrome rims on a shit car. Elliot would be proud
>>
>>25666634
>women talking about what they like

I don't ask fish what bait to use.

pro tip: ask the fisherman
>>
>>25667525
Elliot was a little creep who didn't talk to girls, ever. He just around, waited for chicks to approach him, and got progressively more pissy when they didn't. Then threw the worlds biggest tantrum.
>>
>>25668144
And why didn't they? fuck women. They approach chad.
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>>25668148
No they fucking don't. They don't have to. Chad isn't a gross little creep who sits alone in diners and stares at them, which is literally what Elliot did.
>>
>>25669119
>No they fucking don't.

R u retarded?
Thread replies: 89
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