>turn on phone
>r34 you were wanking to earlier shows up because you forgot to close it
>brother throws a party at home
>He's got a desktop pc so they borrow my notebook.
>sure just let me set it up
>missclick and open one of my porn folders
>It's the one with pictures of chicks from fb
>5 of them are pics of one of my brother's friend gf
>close it as fast as i can but my notebook is slow
I know they all saw it, the dude never acted the same around me anymore.
similar thing happened to me
>fapping one day
>forgot to lock door
>mom walks in
>I get even harder
>finish, knowing she's watching me
>mfw we didn't talk for like a week afterwards
literally no regrets
This here. Now people think I'm a weeb or furfag because of my mistake.
F U C K
That sucks, man.
>use dropbox to copy some lewd shit from my pc to my phone
>at school next day
>log into school computer which i also had drop box installed on
>dropbox auto syncs and the folder with all the pics pops up on my screen
luckily there only one other guy in the room who could have seen it. the file thumbnails were small and i closed it instantly so i can only hope that the guy didn't see it.
I was in class when all of a sudden my 8:20 AM alarm plays (I was in D.C. for the weekend) and it was some shitty dubstep I bought ala 2010. Everyone laughed. This happened last week. Fucking kill me.
6 years ago
>no lock on door because my parents got tired of me locking them out
>give in to the urge to fap anyway
>stealth fap away under the blanket in the pitch black dark of night to some tranny porn
>computer screen is opposite from doorway so i'm relatively safe
>reaching climax no going back now
>mother walks in as i'm cumming
>finish myself off shielded by the safety of the dark and the blanket as we hold a conversation about the dishes
>think i'm safe
>she goes to leave
>"oh by the way I can see what you're doing"
>"your computer screen is reflecting in your glasses"
didn't leave my room for a long time after that
this next one was even worse
5 years ago or so
>wake up with a gigantic throbbing erection
>don't know what time it is and i'm still very tired and sick
>don't have a lock on my door still but i don't think anyone will come in since i'm 'sleeping'
>too sick to do anything so might as well fap
>there is no stopping this train now
>start watching some of the most taboo shit i can find
>get completely naked
>screen is facing the doorway with incest porn on it but i don't pay it any mind
>balance my body against the wall and throw my legs over my face
>start cumming all over my face
>someone knocks and the door opens before i can answer
>its my mother again
>she walks over to me and hands me some pills
>"f-for your fever..."
>scramble to cover myself while i'm still cumming and my cum goes flying all over the place
>i expect her to leave instantly but she sits there staring at me with the pills in her hand until i finally take them and she leaves
i didn't leave my room for a week
she acted like she never saw anything and never brought it up
pretty sure she told her friends and the rest of the family though
What kind of cunt mother would do shit like that.
>At freinds house
>Have an alarm set so i dont forget to do something
>It's an anime OP and its blares out while we're playing a game
>Fuck up trying to grab it and it plays for like
>He doesn't even mention it and we keep playing
Who needs more than 1 freind.
>had shitty LG flip phone
>be in the middle of algebra class
>me being that autist that I was in 7th grade, I had the nyan cat song as my ringtone
>I get a call in the dead silent room
>fucking nyan cat
>everyone laughs and my face turns into a tomato
I was a faggot in middle school
>sitting on phone browsing the front page
>some cp pops up, can't remember what board
>says "what the fuck" really loudly
>act like I didn't hear
>he never asks me about it after that
>trying to fall asleep
>decide to fap since i dont feel sleepy at all
>fapping in bed with lights turned off while watching some h on my phone
>hear door opening
>point my phone at door to see who it is
>mfw i realized what i just did
>brother just gives me a weird look and leaves
>Having a normal fap session
>No lock on the door
>Cum at the same time my mum enters the room
>Jizz all over my hand
>She puts my clothes in my cupboard and is about to leave
>Sits down for some fucking reason and starts having a chat
>"Why are you so red is something wrong"
>Literally sweating bollocks hoping that I won't have to use my hand as its all covered in spunk
>She leaves after the longest two minutes I've ever experienced.
SHE KNEW I FUCKING BET SHE DID
>have some friends over
>get really drunk
>decide to just look through my images folder to see funny reaction images
>what ever I have all my porn on a hidden partition
>forgot about all that embarrassing non-porn shit I saved
>stupid how to guides about picking up chicks
>a bunch of work safe trap shit like CD guides and fantasy stories
>some gay /fit/ greentexts
>"dude why would you save this stuff"
>"oh you know shitposting"
>they don't buy it but quickly stop talking about it
>dead quiet for like 20 seconds until I suggest that we do something else
>agree so quickly they basically say it at the exact same time
>never speak of it again
Tbqh senpai my alarm for work went off when I was asleep at home (btw the alarm was set for after I was supposed to be there).. Found out someone turned it off at least but that's embarrassing.
>walking to class one day
>going through a really crowded hall listening to music on a YouTube app because the song I wanted to listen to wasn't on Apple music
>drop my phone and my headphones come unplugged
>think I'm in the clear because it should automatically pause because this is the year of our lord 2015
>stupid chinkware side loaded app doesn't
>after a pause I hear as loud as anything I've ever heard
>SHE STARTED TO HATE EVERY NIGGER AND JEW EVERY MEXICAN GAVE HER A LOT OF SHIT EVERY HOMOSEXUAL
>panic and try to turn off the phone instead of just plugging in the phones
>everyone staring at me
>took like 20 seconds to turn it off all told
Oh god, all these embarrassing music stories. I got one.
>Be on the highway in a car full of friends.
>Lend my Ipod for music.
>Recommend some good stuff I have on there.
>After a few songs, my friend with the Ipod starts browsing artists.
>Finds artist labeled anime immediately.
>Starts playing Gundam Seed opening
>I beg him to change it.
>Everyone's laughing at me
>One guy is particularly giving me shit.
>Later learned that he watched anime a lot and fapped to hentai, fucking hypocrite.
I don't have any good fap stories myself. Luckily I've never been caught. My sister almost caught me once when a bunch of her friends were over, but I closed everything just in time. There was still tp on the chair when I got up though and I think she may have seen that. Very close call nonetheless.
I just thought it was a qt foxgirl. I like foxgirls so I saved it. I was disappointed to learn it was from assfaggots. No one plays lol. They'll probably just think it's some fox girl.
>"your computer screen is reflecting in your glasses"
I've never thought about this and the amount of times ive been looking at shit on my laptop and talking to people there is no way this hasn't hapeened before.
>be lazing in the sun at resort
>look up some things on my phone with resort wifi
>decide to go for a swim in the pool
>whoops, there is something in my pocket
>less than month old phone that I paid over 500 for is now a brick
>discovering femdom and had a thing for heels
>go on amazon and look up high heels
>parents go on the next day wanting to buy stuff off amazon
>'Recently Viewed' comes up on front page
>hours later a couple walk by our house
>I look up to see if it's someone I know
>dad whispers to mum
>both look at me and laugh
>mfw I next go on amazon and remember about that Recently Viewed feature
>had shitty montana internet that would go out for days at a time
>This made fapping frustrating
>get the idea to print some pics off so I had some back up wank material.
>Queue up pic related on the only computer with a printer (my mother's business computer)
>For some reason there is an error, and it will not print
>Parents coming home soon, abort print job, cancel the print job and even go into the printer queue and make sure i removed trying to print it
>Next day sure enough what fucking prints off onto one of my mother's checks.
The funny thing is she originally blamed and got made at my dad.
>always fap into a blanket using it as a cum rag
>out of laziness put it under my bed
>sometimes go months without washing it
> one week while im gone i come home and my mom has cleaned my room.
>this blanket is on my bed
She never said anything about it so i wonder if she knew what was going on there or if she just thought that the blanket was naturally crusty or if she knew and washed it anyway to be nice
That really is vanilla, Anon.
I don't have a problem with people seeing my pornographics, although I try to keep them from seeing it out courtesy.
We all express our sexuality and anyone that can't understand that concept is a child themselves.
I do get a bit embarrassed about anime, however. It doesn't even have to be sexual in nature.
The only thing I would feel bad about people seeing is bestiality. I'm sure they would be wierded out over my inflation collection too, though.
dropbox is dumb like that, my classes fb group for a course in my uni there is a dropbox where we share material, the girl who created it did it wrong and shared a personal pics folder accidentally, nothing much, just pics from a party, but yes, it's very easy to make mistakes
Just happened a week or two ago
>burned a CD for the few times I drive somewhere for a shake or something
>contains some weeb songs and a bunch of mashups
>one is where the idols @
It's not on youtube anymore but it was some [email protected] shit with DMX where the hood at
>it's on pretty high while I'm waiting behind a person at steak n' shake waiting for my shake
>windows down, don't give a fuck what a normie thinks of my music or me
>wait I know this cashier
>anon is that you?
>it's my old friend from highschool
>know he heard it
>can't go to steak n' shake anymore
but what did it sync with?
From what I understand you were on a school computer that happened to have dropbox on it and it somehow grabbed your files. Where did it get them from?
Did you not have two separate accounts?
I hate normies that think CP is the worst thing imaginable without even thinking of the context that you're on the internet with billions of other uses that have a mind of their own.
To be serious, CP is the worst of all evil in the world.
drop box synchronizes all the files stored on it to every device you log into it with. he put it on his pc to get it to his phone, and then it ended up getting on the school pc too by logging in.
>accidently belch into her ass
>"No, silly," she grunts, forcing the belch back into your mouth mixed with a fart, "I put it in you, not the other way around!"
Such a green move on my part. Embarrassing.
r34 is often somewhat acceptable if it's normie shit like Chel from Eldorado or Ariel from that mermaid movie or the chick from Tomb Raider or Wonder Woman.
But if you're jerking it to like Megatron or wookies or any sort of animal, you're on their potential psycho list.
>girl i've be trying to bang comes over
>watch the princess bride and making out
>movie ends as we take off clothes
>before we really start to escalate things, she asks if I could put on another movie
>without thinking, I put in some random movie
>we had sex while the Jaws theme sporadically played in the background
>at work last year
>me and hommie taling
>asks to use my phone
>forgot I was watching porn
>tfw I was the accident
A-at least they're still together, I guess.
I remember trying to see if the Nintendo DS touch screen would recognize my dick as an input and my mom barged in
Embarrassing as fuck when it happened, but really funny now that I look back on it. I was like 10 or 11
My phone's alarm went off while I was sitting in the crowd of a court case
Even worse, it was jap songs
Yeah, it was good for a laugh. I got her for a secret santa party right after that, so I got her her own copy of it. Watching our friends be puzzled at why it was so funny was priceless.
>move into friends house as new roommate
>month goes by
>first time jerking off at this new place(yeah I know AN ENTIRE MONTH because the weird overlapping sceduals of everyone and never having even 5 minutes to myself)
>horny as hell and say fuck it, put on some porn and quickly change over to favorite hentai
>hard as dimonds fapping away and roomate opens door
>turn too fast and accidentally rip headphones out of computer
>suddenly sounds of hentai fill the room
>awkward stare down
>awkward stare down
>roommate from another room shouts "DAMN!! THAT HENTAI?!"
>friends now all think I'm even more of a weeboo than before.
>take some Xanax
>decide to invite this fat Mexican that used to clean my dad's house over
>pay her the usual 100 for a bj and 20 for gas
>starting to trip hard and walking around the house naked laughing like a psychopath
>dad comes home
>I'm trying popsicle sticks to my dick and laughing
>fat naked house cleaner sitting in his bed
>LSD, marijuana, and Xanax all sitting on the kitchen counter
>dad tells everyone
>even about the house cleaner and the popsicle sticks
My family still brings it up
If you're on a forum, your parents will (understandably) assume you are on there to talk to likeminded people about mutual interests, meaning they'll think one of your shared interests with these people is CP.
>In class, doing class things
>Teacher says we can listen to music
>Start listening to my man Snoop Dogg
>Music doesn't pause
>"ITS THR MOTHAFUCKIN D-O-DOUBLE G" plays
>Whole class just sits there silent
>staring at me
>Never talk to teacher again
>looking at pictures of hot cousin only wearing a bikini on facebook
>her dad comes round
>quickly minimize the window so I can start fapping to them when he's gone
>talking about computer stuff, he asks me to show him the graphics card I plan on getting
>forget I had the picture open and open the page, he sees everything
>awkward silence as I quickly open a new tab
>show him the graphics card then he quickly leaves without saying much
Happened yesterday. Just kill me now lads.
>watching one punch man with my chat friend at his college apartment (it's that normie tier)
>his qt roommate walks in
>he tells me to pause the video
>I am horrible with laptop touchpads and scramble like an autist to make it stop but it doesn't work, I close the laptop but that shit still keeps playing.
>awkwardly hold a conversation with anime sounds as background noise, finally manage to shut it off
>she asks a few times what we were watching, friend dodges the question
why couldn't he just handle his laptop himself
>get virus from a dodgy Brazzers account someone gave me
>ransomware, locks my computer and shows a message from the "metropolitan police" saying I've been caught watching CP and bestiality and I need to give them 100GBP for them to unlock my computer
>15 y/o me had no idea what ransomware was, panic
>decide to tell mum
>"m-mum I'm really sorry, I used a dodgy porn account and I think I'm in trouble with the police!" I say with tears in my eyes
>she looks at my computer, smiles and waves at the fake webcam
>starts laughing at me
"anon I'll take your computer to go get fixed. It's okay, we all watch porn. You didn't watch anything illegal did you?"
>no computer for about 1 and a half months while it's being repaired
>haven't spoke about it since
>told my friend
>he said it definitely couldn't have come from Brazzers because it's a safe website
>tfw told mum I got a virus from porn for no reason
God, it's been about 5 years but every time I think about it I want to die.
Almost had this happening to me myself. I started to really panic, but after rebooting my computer it worked again. Not sure what I would have done if it persisted.
>go into bathroom with electronic device for porn playback + headphones
>suddenly, you have all the privacy in the world to fap, regardless of who is home
Or better yet, just fap in your room and lock the door.
>hey man I'm just going to borrow your laptop for a few minutes, ok?
>2 years ago
>Download an app for my phone that let's you have a slideshow screensaver.
>Crop like 5-8 pictures of celebrity feet to go through my phone.
>My brother comes over one day and asks if he can use my phone for a second because his battery is empty.
>He unlocks it, I somehow forgot that I had the screensaver on and he sees the feet shit.
>"Dude, you got like a foot fetish?"
>"uhh you kn-"
>"ME TOO! Hahahaha awesome, I've thought about that for years too"
>We both just keep staring at the screensaver awkwardly and I told him whose feet they were.
>We end up talking for like 4-5 minutes about Kstew's and other celebrities feet.
Everything went better than expected.
>Be at school
>Using school laptop for work in modern history
>Have to give presentation on trench warfare
>Plug computer into the projector
>Notice I have an extra tab open in chrome
>Go to close it however it expands into a full window
>Rip the cord out and slam laptop
Trying to forget to this day, all of those people in the room thought i was normal until then.
>hold a presentation at school, take material needed on an usb
>some girl in my class who seemed to like me asked if she could borrow my usb for her own presentation
>do not think about it properly, just give it to her and wave her off
>next day she holds her presentation
>gives my stuff back
>something troubled my mind since yesterday, but I do not remember
>come home that day and start up some fucked up hentai game
>it was like something huge is coming out of the mist in front of you suddenly and you somehow already know what it is, but your mind refuses to remember to protect itself
>immediately plug in the usb
>heart sinks a foot deeper as I see that the thing has a folder with some random characters as a name
>eyes refuse to the last moment to see the content, I only see a wall of folders with a ton of names no pious christian should ever utter
>five fucking gigs of 2D fap fodder
>tfw I realized that some girl from my class probably saw all of my porn backup storage
Once I almost fucked up
>high school PE or some shit
>we're changing clothes
>lockers were closed so we're just changing on the field outside
>it was during break, so there were people sitting by the field other than my classmates
>my stupid fucking boxers have button in front for some reason and it keeps opening by itself
>take off pants
>my dick waves out of boxers
>instantly hide it
>luckily I was standing behind some guy so no one has seen my accident
>17, pretty busy school library, atleast 5 chads sitting nearby
>working on laptop listening to Beethoven pretty loud with my earphones
>about 1:18:47 into it
>stand up and accidentally fucking pull out the headphones
>classical music at full volume comming from laptop speakers
>chads and everyone else in the library look at me
>'you some kind of faggot anon?'
>me and a friend, both 15yo, have to make a Powerpoint presentation for physics
>make a really good fucking presentation over skype and teamviewer
>start to fuck around, write random swear words, sexual stuff and our teachers name, and cover the text with images
>tell friend to clean it up and bring it to school the next day
>next day, giving the presentation
>school computer had a different version of powerpoint so all images randomly shifted a little
>realize he didn't clean it up
>quickly change the slide to the one without swearwords
>panic but still give a decent presentation
>think it's over
>"Your presentation is very good, anon. I will show to other classes, if you don't mind."
>she moved the images while showing this presentation to other kids and saw all the random swearwords
>it was like "dick fuck cunt 'teachers name' fuck" written many times behind every image
I still have no idea we we even did this shit. I never spoke to that teacher again.
>on innocuous 4chan board
>sister walks into my room
>oh shit, she can't know that I go on on 4chan
>hit stumble on stumbleupon toolbar
>takes me to porn site
>sister sees porn
>180's and walks out
>Used to watch TV all day in parents bed because it was comfy
>Would jerk off in it
>One day Dad walks in on me jerking off with headphones on and porn on phone.
>Try to play it off like I'm scratching my balls and act natural.
>He asks me a question then slowly closes the door while looking at me through the crack
Closest I got to being caught,
>buy panties to wear and masturbate into
>usually get them in packs at Walmart so I can use the self-checkout
>hide them all under my mattress and take them out at opportune times to throw 'em in the wash
>one day I text mom to hide some beef jerky I had since my siblings would eat it if they found it
>tell her to hide it under my pillow
>come on and ask where's my jerkey
>"under your mattress anon"
>check under my mattress
>it's there at the edge surely she didn't see anything right
>next day come outside to talk to my parents
>Dad says to me "Anon, mom says you've got a bunch of lady's undergarments in your mattress, is this true?"
>pfffft whaaat? No, never!
>go back inside and hide my panties somewhere better
I was once at a friends house who I knew way back from hs where he was living with his turbo chad brother and gf.
>friend and I were ripping cones
>we get really stoned
"Oh hey anon you like rap r-right?"
I say "yeah, sure."
>he starts playing tupac california love
>suddenly get a devilish idea
>another friend did this to me a while back.
"Hey bro can I play a song after this?" I ask.
"S-sure." He says.
>as soon as the song finishes I punch in DANCE WITH THE DEVIL BY IMMORTAL TECHNIQUE
"Have you heard immortal technique?" I ask.
"N-no" he replies.
>can barely contain my laughter
>I tell him we should both have another cone before I play the song for maximum chill effect
> he agrees
>I play the song
I ONCE KNEW A NIGGA WHOSE REAL NAME WAS WILLIAM....
>by the end of the song he's visably shaken
>chads gf came out and started talking to us and didn't even mention the rape and murder song that was just playing at full volume.
That was a good day.