> Be me in high school doing nofap
> About 1-2 weeks in
> At my boiling point, so hard and it's unbearable.
> On the reddit nofap sub, they say having sex doesn't reset your counter
> Sex is unavailable to me for obvious reasons, get a brilliant idea to do while home alone.
> Fill plastic sandwich bag halfway with lotion, stick in between couch cushions
> Stick my dick inside of the makeshift pussy, holding it down to create friction that'll give me pleasure
> Keep humping it and it actually feels pretty good
> The friction also burns a little so I have to hump slowly
> Edging but not able to cum
> Give up and take the sandwich bag out of the couch
> Push it to the very bottom of the trashcan
> Clean the small lotion spilled on the couch
> Get dressed and catch the bus like nothing happened
3 years later and I'm still a kissless virgin. I think that act made me realize I was hopeless.
You have much to learn, young wizard apprentice. First, you must learn that nofap is a lie and that no seed spilt to images of 2d girls is wasted.
Seed spilt on 3d women is wasted. Association with 3d women leads to material and sexual cuckoldry, masturbating to 3d porn leads to spiritual and mental cuckoldry.
The ONLY way to escape cuckoldry is to enter neetdom, accept the objective superiority of 2d, and disavow your attachment to the third dimension.
Well of course. I did it when I was home alone and the door was locked. I'm not quite sure how fucking a couch can be considered a win though.
I haven't heard of anyone doing it before.
>in love with this girl
>she knows it and she likes me too, but she's with another guy
>for weeks I was going out of my way trying to "coincidentally" run into her on campus
>going to the library more often than in 4 years of uni before in total
>found out her schedule and found excuses to hang close to her classroom right when her classes were over
>for the last 2 months, I have read every single post she liked, commented or shared on Facebook
>even used full-text translators for the ones written in her mother tongue
I went full stalker mode and I'm not proud of it, but now I think I finally put an end to it.
My 2 lowest points
>dmt in one hand
>razor in the other
Put two and two together what I planned to do next. Decide to hold out for a little longer.
Few days ago
>drunk as shit
>razor in hand
>start to cut vein put blade down and call friend instead
>she makes me feel a little better and i pass out instead
If i win the lottery I'll give that friend a ton of money
In 8th grade a girl I always liked came up to me during PE and I ignored her. We also walked during graduation. Didn't talk to her in high school. Looked her up on FB a while back and she's married, shes 24 this year.
>Haven't talked to a person who isn't immediate family in 6 months since graduating uni
>Literally, no texts, IRL, calls. Nothing.
>Realize it doesn't make a damn difference given that it's hardly different from how I lived at uni when I was surrounded by people
>at least now I'm being more honest with myself
>Every day I take a walk around the neighborhood and along an irrigation canal every day, seeing what I can happen upon seeing
>Sometimes it's people; more often I'm just alone walking this packed dirt path with only old citrus groves for company
>Try to do something constructive every day to make up for myself otherwise being a useless waste of space with no plans who sleeps too much
>Hard because sleep far too long and it's winter. At best, see 2.5 hours of daylight a day if I don't thousand yard stare in the shower for too long
>Still try nonetheless
>Start trying to clean up the yard for my mom because depressed, aging dad can't and it looks like shit
>Mom comes home and starts crying, tells me about how she's sorry my dad was such a limp wrist cuck and a poor role model for me growing up and how much she is sad and alone and disappointed with our shit excuse for a family.
>"The one thing I will never be disappointed in is you, anon. I love you. You're gonna do great things and I'm proud of the man you've become in spite of everything"
>Even though mom is a psycho, still kinda hits me in some unexpected feels
>The next day, I was playing chicken with oncoming traffic not sure if I had what it took to go home one more time and face my own failure and the failures of my family with polite smiles and bullshit platitudes
Hardly, man. That is the rub of trying to get your shit together. Even when you lose the weight, brush your teeth, and shower daily by pure force will and ultimately mechanical habit, he realize that there are some things that you will never be able to apply that strategy to.
Doing so will only leave you a burned out hollow shell trying to force a square peg into a round hole. Multiple generations of my family are a case study in robotdom and failure. Trying to deny the inevitable will only leave me exhausted and frustrated when I inevitably pull the trigger. It's literally my birthright.
It's better to not even try, at least that way you can maintain the illusory hope that, if you did, it would actually make things better.
Fuck your shit, anon. I just dredged through my collection of old HDs to find this. Green is me. Sad thing is blue guy actually played bass with me in a band for a year and a half and I thought we were bros. Fuck all normies. Even when they seem chill, you are probably little more than an amusement for them.