how does /r9k/ wipe their ass?

sitting up

You now realize that the koopa is levitating a few inches above the chair

who puts their hand IN THE BOWL to wipe their ass? why would you not stand up?
do you like to feel the steam of the shit?
fucking freaks

>>25658331
i couldn't do that at work because it had autoflushing, so i had to go between my legs and wipe towards my nutsack

I don't wipe at all
Instead, I step into the shower and turn it on so I can clean up my ass.
>tfw no more poopy undies
>tfw no poop flakes either
>just clean undies and no fear of getting skidmarks

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> standing up
What is this meme?

Sure, stand up and smush the shit by closing your ass cheeks, then have to bend over to be able to get in there without touching the shitty inner ass cheeks

Literally why?

>>25657393
>implying i wipe

>>25658331
Nigga, I'm shitting right now. You lift one cheek up, keep one cheek firmly on the seat, this spreads your asscheeks apart so you can get it all easily.

>>25658454
>skidmarks
learn to wipe you fucking toddler

>stand up
>get toilet paper
>put it between ass cheeks
>press the together
>grab paper and throw it in the toilet

im such a weird fuck

>>25658525
press them* i hold my ass cheeks together so that the paper gets the shit and then i grab it

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>>25658481
I stand up to wipe and literally never have this problem

Are you overweight?