Welcome to the R9K Bar.Here we sell laughter,feels,and other's.So let's tell some stories since this board is empty and only has a few greentext stories.
What if I got lost and walked into this bar accidentally? Robots: tell a normie what it is like to be you.
I have a wife, a good stable job, a small core group of friends and a kid on the way.
I am a 33 year old kissless virgin with no friends and a terminal illness. Please give me a drink and listen to papa. This place isn't what you think it is. I am the only virgin here.
Nothing much to say.
Just applying for some jobs at the moment, though I don't expect anything to come from it. Apart from that, I don't have much to share here.
>tfw maybe decent from the front but hideous from the side
I hate being half puerto-rican
I'd say the chances increase with distance. Though I was younger and she never did anything physical while we were together (allegedly), my ldr (ex) gf left me 3 times for 3 different boys in the span of like 3 years. My experience is probably not typical, but I wouldn't recommend it.
dude trust me, it is fucking awful if you've ever been in a long distance relationship you'll understand, it can be VERY hard at times
this is just from my own expierience personally im a very anxious and suspicious guy so obviously it was never gnna work for me just coz of my insecurities but yeah... if you;re not seeing her on the reg shes most likely gonna fuck some other bloke
Years ago, back in high school, I made an actual friend. A fucking female. Fuck, she was amazing. She was by far the prettiest girl in the whole hs, but she kept to herself. Never spoke to anyone. Wasn't an emo type either. Just a short frail brunette with perfect eyes. I won't say her name for her own sake
Eventually I managed to speak to her, we had real similarities, she was pretty much a more beta me (and I'm pretty beta). She was afraid to speak in general, so it took a while for her to warm up to me (and me to her)
Years passed and we stayed close. I tried to supress any desire to date her, but it got hard. I knew she wouldn't ever want to do that let alone with me. I held back because I cared for her friendship
Here I am today, in the same Uni as her, I told another guy I know about this and he said that intense desire to keep her happy is love. I've never felt this..I don't want to but I do...
I'll just take a tequilla, anyway. Sorry to bother you, barkeep.
I'm currently dating a Dutch girl whom I had physical contact before she moved back. Every day I go to sleep with the fear that she's sucking Mehmet and Tyrone's penises. It's not the cuckking what I'm afraid of, it's the fact that she may be lying and hiding things when we talk every day desu.
>started uni in september
>meet cute blonde girl on my course, we get along really well
>chat a lot, meet up after lectures etc
>help convince her decide to stay on the politics module after she wanted to change from/to geography or something
>have two modules together, one finishes after a big essay, the other one I scarcely ever saw her in
>don't know her well enough to start messaging her randomly, decide to wait until lectures start again in full after exams on February 1st
>looking on twitter, remember she liked my fb picture on new years day, decide to look her up on twitter
>she posted on November 28th that she was dropping out of uni and was glad to be home
>the one person I hadn't seen for ages that I got along with insanely well on my course has quit
>was about to say fuck it and message her out of the blue asking how her revision is going
I dunno, we never really spoke insane amounts, but I was like the only person she spoke to and we got along so well. It just feels shit now I'll be stuck back there, alone. I also remember after a trip in September that there was some geordie fat short feminist who was overly friendly who I met that day who I now have in fucking lectures, with no qt to sit with.
I asked her to see normie wars recently and got shot down (she did it nicely since she genuinely felt bad) and then asked to go to starbucks, she said yeah reluctantly but blew me off.
I was the exact same dude, in the end I know that my trust issues put more strain on things but eventually I found out she wasnt being honest with me and that alone was enough for me to call it a day
long distance is really hard, I wont rule it out andsay its impossible but it genuinely does require a lot of commitment from both parties
>Be me a cripplefag.
>in High School
>Never had that many friends because everyone gives me pity instead of actually caring about me.
>So I decided to hide my leg braces by wearing long pants.
>No improvement until 2 weeks into my senior year.
Was walking down the hall and a QT junior came up to me and said "My friend thinks you're cute can I have your number."
>Give her phone number
>Get text 10 minutes later.
This is only part one of that day.
>invited out for the first time in a year last night
>go to bar with four dudes (i only know one of them)
>introduce myself, but don't have anything to say after that
>order a beer
>another one of their friends comes
>don't even introduce myself
>order another beer
>order another beer
>order another beer
>i'm loosening up a bit, making some jokes that they all laugh at
>order fish bowl (to split) because the numbness and lightness feels really good.
>start browning out
>reality fading in and out, feels like some sci fi shit
>order another fish bowl
>order another fish bowl
>guy who invited me yacks all over the place, so we get kicked out
>too drunk to see properly; it's like watching a movie with a frame every couple of seconds
>get home (~1:00am)
>run to the bathroom, fall on my hands and knees and start throwing up
>too weak to move, pass out in my throw up
>wake up every once and a while and throw up on the floor/myself
>continues for 12 hours
>get up and clean up the floor
>throw up for another three hours (in the toilet this time)
>eating chicken noodle soup right now
I'm so fucking happy right now tbqfh. Sleeping in my own vomit is the most alive I can ever remember feeling. And this shitty Campbell's soup tastes like jesus rn.
Having a relationship is hard, famili. Specially when you are middle-class and you can't afford living legally in other country. Meanwhile I'll be trying to make her show up the filth under her carpet, if it's possible.
>give some random chick a ride for gas money
>she gets in and is decently cute
>during the car ride we talk and she doesn't seem vapid or anything
>text her the next day if she wants to get lunch sometime
>hours pass and no reply, I delete number and move on
>10 hours later she replies "Yeah next week works"
>hope is rekindled
>suggest a specific day
Why do they toy with us
OK friendos, failed normie here.
I can greentext one of the following:
>how I cucked a guy
>the times I did homosex
>the times I hooked up with friends' oneitises
>the time I found a gf
>the time (just now) I destroyed some brown people with my superior Seleucid phalangites
it's because you're setting yourself up for failure. some people lead busy lives, or they're a little shy because they're not sure how to reply exactly. don't be so impatient, you moron.
A few hours. Jesus, some people are at work. Or busy. I can't use my phone while at work, and when I'm studying I turn it off. Don't throw a temper tantrum like a fucking child, jesus.
>After my first class I got another text from a different number.
>She seemed way more friendly than the other person.
>So we had small talk about what each other's hobbies and other shit.
>I hide my power level when it came to movies and vidya.
>Keep talking to her for 3 days.
>It felt good to have another girl besides my mom that actually talked to me.
>We finally decided to meet at lunch.
>Order food and wait for her.
>45 minutes later I texted her "Where are you?
>"Oh sorry Anon you are not my type."
>TFW The first person I ever opened up to just ditched me just like that.
>TFW I got stood up by two QT girls in one week.
>have qt LDGF
>extremely qt tsundere way out of my league
>like her more than I could have imagined
>in a group chat I jokingly flirted with another girl without thinking about it
>she gets upset and leaves the chat
>"I get that I don't control what you say to other people, but please just don't make me see it"
>hardly talking to me now
>she says it's fine
>still talks to me but never affectionately or sexually like before
>usually just emotionless texts less then a sentence long
>sounds unhappy and blank on skype
>everyone in group chat asking where she went
>don't want to tell them I fuck it up
I fucked up. I fucked up so bad. I miss her so fucking much
Don't skip this shitty greentext. You'll miss a good opportunity to laugh at a loser.
>in Vegas with my family
>just checked in
>mom calls for a roll-away bed for me
>wait 30 mins
>assume the staff forgot
>family goes downstairs to eat
>lock the door and put on the chain
>watching tv in the room
>it's a housekeeping lady with the extra bed
>too scared too open the door
>tip toe back to the bed and wait out the knocking
>lasts a solid 10 minutes and ends
>20 minutes go by
>hear people talking in the hallway, a man and a woman
>they stop outside my room
>hear the door unlocking
>panic and dive between the bed and the wall
>door opens but is stuck on the chain
>woman says something like "hello? i have the bed you asked for for. is anyone there?"
>realize the maid came back with a maintenance guy and opened my door
>holding my breath
>finally they leave
>shaking in terror at this point
>lock the door again and lay down on the bed
>hotel phone starts ringing
>endure 5 minutes of the phone ringing
>know it's the front desk calling about the door and the bed
>the ordeal is over
>watching robot chicken
>comfy under the covers
>hear voices approaching
>guys speaking spanish outside my door
>hear the door unlocking
>gets stuck on the chain again
>hear metal clinking
>chain is off
>door opens all the way
>close my eyes and pretend to be asleep
>two guys walk into my room
>they're talking to each other is spanish
>feel them watching me
>let out a fart so that they know i'm alive
>they whisper something in spanish
>quietly walk out of the room
>footsteps fade away
>open my eyes
>see the roll-away bed in the corner