>BECAUSE YOU WANT TO BE ALONE
Ask yourself, if you were actually with someone right now, what would you be doing. And more importantly what would you be feeling? After a minute, an hour, a day, a month, An entire fucking year? Have you deluded yourselves so completely, that you now think this is what you really want?
Think back to high school, college, your earlier life. EVERYONE HAD SOMEONE. That guy with glasses, who wore the same cloths everysingle day. Who was never mean, never said anything, and never lied to anyone. That girl who was 50 pounds over weight and was a complete cunt. All the people who were far more unattractive than most of you in every single way. HAD SOMEONE.
That's not to say all of you aren't afflicted with your own "short comings", whatever they may be. But you can't honestly tell me, that you don't see people far worse than you, who have people who spend time and love them.
Because at the end of it all, the truth is. Every single one of you that isn't just hear for the shits and giggles. Is Broken. Incompatible. Unable to connect, for one reason or another.
You know in your heart this is what you are. You know, no matter how much you might want it. You will never truly "enjoy" being around someone else.
You've had your chances. Stop fucking lying you know you have. Maybe they were small. Minuscule. But they were there. All you had to do was reach out and take it. Nudge it. Do anything at all! Everyone is miserable. Everyone wants someone to just reach out and take it all away.
You know what makes all of you different? What makes your mental suffering so much more "eternal"? The fact that you have pushed every single person who has ever reached out to you away. And you yourself will never reach out to the people around you. That's simply who you are. And who you will always be.
You're broken anon. Broken in a way that can't be fixed. There is nothing to fix. There is no "real" you at all. Just the repetition of valuing, devaluing, and starting over again. Stop lying to yourself. If human connection was really what you wanted. All you wanted. You would have seeked it out long ago, or blew your mind out in the street.
>you're alone anon. Really alone. And that is all you'll ever be
Hi again. How is your life now?
I want not being alone to be as appealing as I was once lead to believe, so that I could then no longer want to be alone, and I could have some hope for a change from this unsatisfying situation.
>All you had to do was reach out and take it. Nudge it. Do anything at all!
dedicating my entire life to it could very well have not been enough
>who wore the same cloths everysingle day. Who was never mean, never said anything, and never lied to anyone
>That's not to say all of you aren't afflicted with your own "short comings
>implying short coming are only physical
>Because at the end of it all, the truth is. Every single one of you that isn't just hear for the shits and giggles. Is Broken. Incompatible. Unable to connect, for one reason or another
true, we are.
>You will never truly "enjoy" being around someone else.
I always do whenever I have the chance, but they push me away one way or another
>>who wore the same cloths everysingle day. Who was never mean, never said anything, and never lied to anyone
forgot to add, AND I WAS ALWAYS ALONE.
k now whats your point OP?
How are you going to be great?
It just doesn't seem like we've hit the end yet. The depression is still accelerating and hitting new levels daily. I'm not sure where "worse" even is, but we seem to be heading there.
Oh boy an internet psychologist who has it all figured out
> Subtle Jus B Urself :^) Post
Die in a fire OP
---- A man can be himself only so long as he is alone; and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom; for it is only when he is alone that he is really free.
----As a general rule, it may be said that a man's sociability stands very nearly in inverse ratio to his intellectual value: to say that "so and so" is very unsociable, is almost tantamount to saying that he is a man of great capacity.
----Though the world contains many things which are thoroughly bad, the worst thing in it is society.
----Rascals are always sociable -- more's the pity! and the chief sign that a man has any nobility in his character is the little pleasure he takes in others' company. He prefers solitude more and more, and, in course of time, comes to see that, with few exceptions, the world offers no choice beyond solitude on one side and vulgarity on the other.
>Mfw I somehow managed to connect with someone
>Happiest time of my life
>They broke my trust and ruined our friendship
>Can never connect with someone again
I wish I had never known them
There's not much for me to do. I've lost something, Some kind of youthful naivete. I can't reveal my intimate thoughts with others anymore. There's always a safe, emotional distance between me and acquaintances.
I can make friends, but their transient nature is always apparent to my mind. I know they'll cut me out of their lives on a whim. I'm mentally prepared for it.
I sometimes wonder if the PBG guy liked Bondage Fairies.
Honestly, yeah. I'm scared. I've put up so many walls and barriers I'm not even sure who I am anymore. I justify my life with this aloof, carefree attitude but the truth is I've only resigned myself to this existence because I'm too much of a coward to look farther into it.
I was only intimate (emotionally at least) with my friend mentioned before. It was something like
>Talking to my friend one evening
>Mulling over some story ideas in my mind
>Just send it absent mindedly
>Immediately apprehensive about what I just did
>friend responds positively
>We talk about my story idea for a bit
>Feels somehow comfortable. Despite talking about something personal to me
Thinking about this makes me want to open their profile up and vomit up all my guilt and desire to see them again.
>f human connection was really what you wanted. All you wanted. You would have seeked it out long ago
This is normie logic. It's normie logic because normies believe all people can simply conform to normie society if they choose to. Normies are a different species altogether. They will never fully understand that there exists people different to them. They will forever tut-tut and boo those who do not fit the role.
I view society as nothing more than what cliques there were at high school. The jocks are the normies, the outcasts are the ones who are not normies. You see, this is what normies have been preprogrammed their whole lives to be and do, to conform and fit in. Every piece of media backs this up, portraying society in a tribalistic fashion of archtypes and bachelor groups. Every person has had this ingrained in their minds since birth. This is how normies are controlled, this is how they are formed.
u right, OP
I mean I'm not antisocial, I just much rather spend my free time alone, doing my hobbies. People are largely just distractions unless they can participate in those hobbies. Girlfriends too; I just want them to fuck off unless we're gonna smash or cuddle.
I met one person I genuinely wanted to be with but she was bipolar too so the relationship was too difficult for us.
You're right though. I'm pretty attractive and have no issues attracting that sort of attention and yet I don't really want to be touched. There is no spark in me telling me to go out there. It's just silence.
Sorry but man is a social animal. You are simply deluding yourself, trying to gain some control over your situation ("this is just the way I am"). In reality you are just too anxious, too afraid, too timid. There are meds for anxiety, you should try them. SSRIs work for some, it doesn't hurt to take that chance.
>it doesn't hurt to take that chance
Fuck off Pfizer.
SSRIs = Brain atrophy, sexual dysfunction, muted humanity.
Also a great many of the discoveries and innovations in art and science have been made by irritable outsiders who preferred their own company.
>b-buh you're not a genius just pathetic
Doesn't change the fact that the category has a justification for existence. Most attempts of any kind fail.
You would have said the same thing to Beethoven or Wittgenstein. In fact, their parents did, and they told them to fuck off and did their own thing.
A lot of people rebel and don't take their rebellion far enough.