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Started getting my shit together 6 months ago.
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

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Started getting my shit together 6 months ago.
>working out
>stopped drinking
>stopped drugs

got a semi-normie gf. things were so great at first and I was never happier than the first couple months of this relationship. I have known and loved her for years and she has loved me for years. things were finally lined up for us to be together in an adult relationship and we were very happy.

the last 3 weeks I've been feeling really down about our relationship and thinking about breaking up. just got off the phone with her. we talked for 15 minutes and the whole time it was pleasant, fun, and loving on the surface, but in my head I couldn't wait to stop talking to her.

I'd rather be alone than talk to her.

>not sure if just winter depression on my part, or bad relationship
>afraid I don't really love her, I just convinced myself I did
>don't want to break it off cause it will hurt her badly and she has a lot of stress already with work and family life
>don't know what to do, but I'll stick it out for now until it becomes clear I need to leave her


feels fucking bad man. relationship feels thread. I need help robots.
>>
Find other purposes in your life than your gf.
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>>25628240

You sound like you have true depression. Are you sure you aren't bipolar?
>>
If you doubt loving her for even a second, you don't truly love her. It's disrespectful to continue to let her build her bond with you just so it can be more painful later when you do break it off. End it anon, break up with her. Things aren't going to work out so cut your losses, hers and yours.
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>>25628401

That's not how relationships work you pseudo-Byronic emo dumbass.
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>>25628365
I do have true depression. I drank every day (15+ drinks) for the past 3 years. I wanted to die every day. Shocker I have a not so great relationship months into drastic life changes right? but it still bothers me.

>>25628287
I know. I found them, but then I prioritized her over them early on. Pussy shit, but it's what I did.

>>25628401
I love her in the way that I genuinely care about her well-being and happiness. I want her to be happy overall with her life and I consider her a close friend. But yeah I think you're right about the whole romantic love angle.
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>>25628472
Alright buddy. Just giving you advice from my last relationship. I was in your shoes almost exactly, started doubting whether I really loved her, but kept going for another year and a half. She became a huge burden on me and I was no doubt a negative force in her life. I wasted a year and a half of both of our lives, time we will never get back.

You'll understand if you stick by her. I know it's hard to imagine now being with her, but it's for the best.

Just speaking from experience.
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>>25628558
that wasn't OP. I am and I know and mostly agree with what you're saying. I do think it's not as cut and dry as if you doubt your love for a split second you don't love someone. But overall you're absolutely right about not wasting people's time and not letting them get even more invested in you while the whole time you know it's not gonna work out.
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>>25628599
I see that now, sorry.

I understand that you genuinely care for her, and want her to be happy. I respect that. I agree, it's not always that cut and dry, but in most cases, doubts do lead to downfall.

It's up to you, I would say take some time, a few weeks or so, to see if this is just a short emotional phase. If you still feel the same way 3 to 4 weeks down the line, rationally and emotionally, I think it would be best to break it off. Good luck OP.
>>
Man, you are exactly like me. Same situation and I also can't make a decision.
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>>25628785
Tell me more about your situation. It might make me feel better and less alone in this.

>>25628684
not sure if my other post went through, but thanks bro. waiting for a couple weeks is good advice and that's what I'm gonna do. I'm afraid this is just some emotional phase I'm going through, but if not I'll do the right thing.

I don't have many friends I can talk to about this shit without feeling like a bitch so thank all you guys for being in here right now. It means a lot.
>yes I know I'm an emotionfag
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>>25628886
I also half a year ago stopped with my drinking and smoking. It became increasingly bad for my health both mental and physical. As substitute I do a lot of sports and work out. I got a gf for almost 4 years now. Funny thing is I always have a feeling that it's a dead end relationship. We work good as a team and I guess it could be worse and it just works out. We're there for each other and stuff. But most of the time the whole realtionship flat out bores me. I feel like there is no true love. But what is love anyways. Is it just being there for each other what we definitely are? Maybe everyone else goes through the same feelings but they can handle it better.
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>>25629079
damn that is eerily similar. it doesn't sound so bad though famb. I definitely wonder what love really is. how do I know that what I'm feeling is love.
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>>25629244
Yeah ikr. I don't really have a reason to complain. Things could be a lot worse. Yet most of the time I just feel sad and depressed. Guess I'm just an emotionalfag aswell.

Wish I could give you some useful advice.
I would go with >>25628684 and just take some time. Maybe your feelings towards her become more clear when time passes.
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>>25628240
do you have other things you do besides being with her or posting here? do you have any hobbies? if not, try getting one. make some time for yourself away from her.
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