>tfw I don't have any beta orbiters

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>>25627882
You're just a few craigslist ads away from that, you worthless roastie

>>25627882

You'd need to be a literal 3/10 or below not to have at least 1

I'll pretend to be an orbiter if I get to insult you for being a roastie.

>>25627882
Go to backpages and become an "escort".

>tfw too ugly, fat and depressed to have orbiters

doesnt help i live in a remote country so i cant keep them on the hook with the possibility of puss

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>orbit like 3 girls at the same time
>they start fighting over who gets to waste my time

>tfw girl tried to turn me from bf to beta orbiter

What the fuck senpai

>>25628100
you were a practice bf

>>25627960
How's that picture relevant? I don't want to have sex with my orbiters

>>25628082
>"No! he's MY gay best friend!"
>"Get your hands off my shoulder to cry on!"
>"Don't listen to these whore's anon, I know how much you like it when I let you do my homework."
>"Stop touching him! He's like a little brother to me and that's gross."

I've seen people like you. You're a different species of orbiter, one which requires an entirely new name to distinguish them from the others, because unlike the rest of the beta's they toss in a corner you actually provide some kind of service to them.

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>Tfw aussie
>tfw 5/10, some acne, take care of my self.
>decent height
>Have a car license, own a car.
>dont have a job currently since i lost it
>workout and run a lot
>Take care of the way i look
>tfw you remember 5/10 girls are flooded, especially online by males who are 100x better than you in every aspect.

How am i supposed to stand out without putting on a high-vis vest?

I don't even want orbiters. I hate everyone on this fucking board including you, fellow roastie.

FUCK.

>>25628726

can you suck my dick.. please?

>>25628726

Do you want the dick then?

>>25628743
No, fuck you faggot. If I wanted to suck dick, I would've done it by now. Dicks are fucking gross and probably smell bad.

>>25627882
Not possible. Bait thread 0/10.

>>25628783
what about just a kiss then? just kiss the tip of my dick and tell me you want my throbbing dick inside you.

>>25628804
NO ONE WANTS TO KISS YOUR DICK. That's why you're here.

>>25627882
I'll be literally any girl's orbiter

>>25627882
I know what you feel
>I wish I had someone to speak frequently so I can ignore them
>I wish I had someone that is nice to me no matter what I do
>I wish I could have someone stubborn who will always chase me and will never stop, since the "hopeless crush" factor motivates him more
>And if he starts to grow distant, I could get him back throwing him a mixed sign

C'mon, my bff has one and she isn't even that pretty

I could be a good orbiter. I'll provide you with all the cheap weed and bubblegum you like. Please don't touch me though, it gets me overstimulated and I'll probably cum.

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>>25628916
Fuck it. I'll bite the bait.

EEEEAEAAAEEEAAAAAARRRRRRGGHHH

>>25628842
Me too.

I'm not sure if I can be a good orbiter but i am a shut in so thats good right? My skype is speshuul_k

>>25628783
Are you a lesbian?

192cm eastern european fuckboy who lifts looking for an american girl to marry for green card. I can cook and have sex with you if you want.

>>25629682
Burn in hell s l a v

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>tfw you fall in love with your orbiter and realize he isn't beta at all but just a super cutie patootie

>>25629682
What makes you think I'm american?

>>25628842
Be my orbiter then. Give me your email so I can send you my amazon wishlist.

>>25627960
Don't do that, you'll feel even more worthless.

>>25629682
>192cm

D R O P P E D
R
O
P
P
E
D

>>25628916
I know how the receiving end of this feels
I'd talk this girl and she respond with short thoughtless replys like "nice" and "cool" then after a few weeks of no contact, she asks me questions about how I'm doing and then the goddamn cycle repeats

>>25628331
>wants betas to orbit
>only to tease them and keep them at bay
fuck you, don't play with peoples emotions so please go to hell

>>25628331
Orbiters don't have sex with their orbitee.
Only pussy-vultures do.

>>25631251
You do realize orbiting doesn't include sex by definition right, you imbecile?

>>25631294
No shit.

>>25627960
>posts link on 4chan
>"Judah Ben-Israel"
>"Hi I'm Chad"
It seems highly likely a good chunk of the responses were from 4chan.

So is anyone going to be my beta orbiter? How do I go about obtaining one?

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>>25627882
>guy in high school poured his admiration for me
>says he loves me and will treat me perfectly
>told him I wasn't interested because he likes anime and vidya plus other reasons
>he kept trying but I friendzoned him so hard on multiple occasions
>pic related
>he backed off and casually liked everything I post on social media
>mfw he's been doing this for six years now
>finally giving him a chance
>second date is next week

I just clicked "view friendship" and it shows all these type posts that I denied. Feels bad, man

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>>25632674
>"haha thank you :D"

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>>25632674
jfc senpai a lam

>>25632674
you're definitelyh not gonna have sex with that guy, are you?

>>25628056
What country? I could orbit you, I like depressed girls.

>>25630745
Why, what are you looking for?

>>25628056

same feel my gal

also i have a fucking terrible personality

>>25632674
PLEASE

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD FUCK HIM

>>25633101
I would like to orbit you.

>>25628823
Roastie
Toastie
No
More
Postie

>>25627882
Do you leave the house at all? Or are you hideously ugly (like 2/10 or below)?

Because those are the only ways I can imagine not having at least a few orbiters.

>>25633812
>Do you leave the house at all?
To go to the supermarket.

>>25628783
>probably smell bad.
confirmed autist virgin grill

>>25628056
How remote? I'm pretty sure even the most remote countries still have men in them?

>>25627882
Tbh, I sort of wish I had beta orbiters who bought me stuff but I'm too ugly for that.

Is there any like, reverse of this? can I pretend to be a chad to waste the time of these pathetic whores?

Where's my free orbiter? I thought /r9k/ said women have it on easy mode.

>>25634131
That's called catfishing.

>>25633904
There's the problem.

>>25634067
I can do it. I like ugly girls.

>>25634316
What the fuck do you want me to do then?

>>25627882
I'd let you touch my dick once if you aren't fat

>>25634421
I don't want to touch you ugly ass dick. I just want an orbiter to buy me free stuff

>tfw no mean roastie "gf" to abuse me

>>25634489
I'll abuse your wallet for free.

>>25634436
Oh, you're black. Yeah, black girls can't have orbiters. Ever.

>>25634510
Okay, what's your Skype?

>>25634520
Just what makes you think I'm black?

>>25627882

Ill beta orbit you if you pay me

>>25634436
I don't buy girls anything kek. Why not just become a prostitute? It's more honest and respectable.

>>25627882
>tfw was chad in high school
>tfw purposely fucked stacys just to enrage orbiters
>tfw hollow inside

>>25634566
I don't use the botnet.

>>25634604
Then you're useless to me. Piss off.

>>25634635
Hey can I get a pic

If you're my type I'll send you a 50$ giftcard for your place of choice qt

>>25634713
>If you're my type I'll send you a 50$ giftcard for your place of choice qt
I believe you.

>>25634734

How about I send you a pic first? if you don't have a personal i.m how do you expect us to correctly orbit you? thats just common sense

>>25634762
>what is email

>>25634635
>I don't use the botnet.
That's even better. Do you have Pidgin?

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>>25627882
>tfw when i was a trap i had beta orbiters
>they would always say hi and talk to me and cheer me up when am down
>I would have probably had sex with any of my orbiters, i love every single one of them.

>>25634784
No. Email.

>>25635358
Alright.
[email protected]

>>25635899
sent ;)

unmute

>>25635275
shave your armpits

>>25635358
Will you email me?

>>25636966
I did. You haven't replied yet

>>25636983
I didn't receive anything.

>>25637142
Fiiiiiiine, you mail me first.

[email protected]