vent thread

>>25615261
Sure OP, what's on your mind?

I'm all ears OP (eyes, I guess)
Gonna vent too if that's okay.

I'm sick of everything and all the time and I feel a mixture of nondescript aggression, despair and hopelessness. I live at home and help pay a mortgage for people who don't seem to give a fuck about anything, who can't plan or manage their fucking finances. I have to deal with their neuroses and fuck ups and every day feels like I'm walking on eggshells, be it at home or at my shitty job. I simultaneously love isolation and despise it, because I simultaneously want friends, a significant other etc but also don't want the baggage. Not that it matters because I'm not good enough for anyone anyway. Too many contradicting messages and feelings in my brain make me feel like I'm going insane. I'm unfit as all hell and I have all the motivation in the world to try and fix myself, but no energy, because it all gets pissed down the drain at work. I often fantasize about blowing my head off in the woods where it's quiet and I'm alone and won't disturb anybody.

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there's like fuzz in my water bottle straw and it's making me sad

>>25615261
Mayaka is a miracle of nature

>>25615451
>using a straw for water.
What are you, 5?

>>25615397
Fuck them. Get the fuck out of dodge as soon as possible and live your own life.

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I'm sick of everything. I want to die but I won't kill myself for a few reasons, so instead I really hope I'll be a victim of a shooting or something of the sort frequently.

I can't hold a conversation even online with the exception of a very small number of people. I have no hobbies. I'm unattractive--I can't enter a relationship. I don't want one, but the fact that I'm so unwanted is painful. I'm unlikable, I'm constantly a bother to those around me and make everyone else's lives worse. I'm a bit of an attention whore, too--I want someone, at least online to care for me. I have one person to do it and I appreciate him greatly. Speaking with him is one of my few pleasures. The only other things that make me happy are anime, especially Yuru Yuri (which I should finish eventually) and I don't know what I'm going to do then. I'm on antidepressants and they've stopped me from completely breaking down often as I used to, but I'm starting to care and hurt more again.

I'm a terrible person and from time to time feel the need to be punished for it. I want to be abused, I need to be hurt. I want more than anything either for some built guy to punch me in the gut so hard I feel nauseous or at least to have a dedicated dom willing to relentlessly torture me. But I'm so uninteresting I can't even find that. No one is interested in even that.

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>>25615545
fuck you straws are a gift to the world so you can suck and suck but never get full of liquid

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>>25615554
You sound like you could be fun in all honesty. I often fantasize about torturing a lover.

idk I'm just kinda bummed about life and how my mental illness has taken over in the past year and I lost all the friends I had and I'm too scared to start up contact again and I know it's entirely my fault but at the same time I can't help being a little mad at them for not sticking by me even though they have no idea?

And im also really annoyed by my inconsistent brain and how my mood/confidence changes drastically from day to day or even from hour to hour, like I'll drive somewhere but then be too scared to drive home and spend hours doing pointless shit until I'm ok again

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>>25615568
So you like to suck, eh? I wonder what Freud would have to say about this

>>25615651
Just YOLO it and drop some breadcrumbs. Someone may bite, you will be surprised.

I have a friend with major anxiety and I keep trying to get in contact with him but he disappears every time I find him again. One day I hope he'll keep the line open. Until then, I keep leaving the breadcrumbs...

>>25615619
I have yet to find someone willing to relentlessly insult me and order me to hurt and humiliate myself.

It being romantic isn't something I want.

I just miss the times when I had someone I could chat basically 24/7. I feel empty when I constantly check my phone and there's no messages. I just want someone who would tolerate talking with me at all times.

>>25615554
I feel similar about dying, since I have no courage to do it myself.
also
>yuru yuri
I kinda wish I wasn't awkward at starting conversations, although I bet you'll be fun to talk.

>>25615778
If you found someone who was as sick as you, I would probably think your life would be in danger.

>>25615831
Actually now that I think about it, you could work at a fetish club somewhere and just get paid to be abused by strangers all the time. Might help you out.

>>25615819
I feel you there, I always feel like I wish I had someone to talk to. Then I realize I have nothing really to say. What a life.

>>25615893
I'd even go ahead and tell you to add me on steam or somewhere else, but the fear of being awkward to the person I just met is too big. It would be even worse to have nothing to talk about.

>>25615994
Well what's up Anon. We can talk here and now, no strings, no pressure.

>>25616103
It's just another boring day for me. I'm about to fail the school for the second time and I have no motivation for studying. I really want to get drunk now and forget about what a shitty day it is, but I don't have money to drink vodka daily.

>>25615554
>I have one person to do it and I appreciate him greatly

Then let him know how much he means to you, thats 1 person more than a lot of us have.

Go show him some appreciation right now.

>>25616189
>Then let him know how much he means to you, thats 1 person more than a lot of us have.
I do, pretty frequently. He's offline right now.

>>25616161
I'm a fan of grey goose. Expensive shit. Drank alot after I graduated. Skipped my grad ceremony and the party after for vidya, 4chan and alcohol.

You in college or what? I had to redo a grade in highschool.

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I'm playing CS:GO and I'm not doing so good.

>>25616353
Well, you can say it's an equivalent of hs, although the educational system here works different. I have trouble handling other alcohol than whisky and vodka, so I can't say much in this regard. And yes, I'm redoing a year in hs. I think I'll have to pick up some job instead of school to try to live off the money I make.
How about you? What's been happening lately?

>>25616445
Just work. Transitioning from a morning shift to graveyards. Not much else, just cramming my folders full of the latest memes. I recently acquired a taste for beer, not sure why but vodka has just always been my go to drink. Straight by itself or mixed with milk, sometimes sweet coffee creamer too if I'm feeling decadent. What classes are you working on?

>>25616380
Play Black Ops 3 instead
it's more fresh

>>25616562
It's funny but I have failed maths last year, now I'm doing alright with maths but I keep failing physics (which I have passed last year). I have also been putting away the driver's license exam for over a year. I don't know what to do with myself. Don't know what to play, don't know what to watch. If I had money, I'd probably spend it on alcohol and DIY electronics kits.


>beer
I fucking hate beer. Dunno why, it's always been beer that I don't like.
But mixing vodka with milk and coffee creamers got me curious. I gotta try this sometime.

As you haven't seen whole yuru yuri yet, I highly suggest you do to so. Works great as a healing animu. The third season just ended, so there's plenty episodes and an OVA. I wish I had some other moe animu to watch.

>>25616807
Gonna czech yuru yuri out then since it sounds like something I really need in life. I get hung up on everything that is edgy and grimdark and it doesn't do me any good. Entertaining as it may be for a time.

I sucked dick at math, didn't even touch physics with a 10ft pole. I think it came down to laziness more than anything.

Also I really like vodka, milk and sweet hazelnut cream. It just ends up as a frothy, sweet creamy beverage that gets you shitfaced. It's so ridiculously unhealthy for you, all the cream, sugar and milk fats plus the alcohol. Sinfully delicious, I cant think of a better way to get fat, kill your liver and get diabeetus all at the same time. Enjoy responsibly!

>>25616978
I really enjoy vodka too, especially since I don't want to try other drugs.
Are the social issues the only thing that makes you want to end your misery?

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I guess I'll start from the beginning.
About 2 months ago, I came across a beautiful girl who had so much in common with me, I wanted to date her but assumed she'd turn me down without a second thought. (I'm not horrificly ugly or anything, just boring.) But by some miracle, she asked me out. Everything was good for about a month, then she broke up with me.

Her grandfather died earlier that week, so I understood, but was still very hurt. She gave the excuse that she couldn't date due to bullshit circumstances. I wasn't bitter or anything, even after she told me that nearing the end of our relationship she started to like another guy I understood. But she wouldn't talk to me, at all. I thought I stopped caring at this point.

But last night. She texted my best friend and said she needed to talk to me, I didn't want to at first, but he talked me into it. Pic related is conversation. Honestly I wasn't prepared for that.

How do I completely get over her robots?

i quit my job cause i feel like shit everyday and need 500 dollars for rent in two weeks. idk what to do now, been looking for work but cant even get an interview this is depressing as fuck and i cant stand it. i havnt left my house in weeks and i just wanna give up