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ITT: autistic words and/or phrases we say...
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

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ITT: autistic words and/or phrases we say compulsively


I say this shit all the fucking time in public, thankfully my friends are all normies.
>Shut up, shut up, no one cares about your opinion!
>Please, just make me dead!
>There is nothing in the dessert. No man needs nothing.
When talking to myself I'll often mutter "Nineteen-nine" for some reason. I don't know when it started or how to make it stop. Someone help me before I am consumed.
I am not a cuck. I am not a cuck. I am not a cuck. I am not a cuck
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>and so it came to pass
That the rock and roll was born
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When ever I have a dropped call I announce "A communications disruption can mean only one thing.........invasion." even if no one is in the room/house.
desu senpai desu senpasi

literally the best post of the day
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Master Plan
Crashing this plane
Ooga booga
Mom's gonna freak
What did he mean by this
Was he autistic
It Ain't Meme
Kill yourself
Semen demon
Shiggy Diggy
Why didn't the eagles just fly Frodo to Mordor
Bravo Nolan/Lucas/Jackson
Dr Pavel
It's like poetry
Dexter Jettster
Luke, did I ever tell you
You fought in the shitposting wars
High ground
I don't like sand
if your friends are all normies, you are a normie

get out
> desu senpai
> gay nigger
> cuck cuck cuck
> fugg

I never say these in real life, but i will often say them in my head in various situations.
>For you

I also say AND type "oh man" a lot, usually out of pure compulsion at this point. I hate it and I don't know how to stop.
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cooI beans
I work as a hotel receptionist.

When I check in guests and they haven't ordered breakfast, I say "Breakfast, should you choose to accept it, is from 6:30, etc".

Actually, I do so many strange things in that job that I can't believe I haven't been fired yet.
When I want to ask my mom a question
>"Penny for your thoughts"

When my mom catches me masturbating
>"The balls are in your court"

When my mom makes a stupid suggestion
>"It's sad that you're not playing with a full deck"

When my mom scolds me for having tantrums
>"There's a method to my madness"

When I'm leaving the house
>"Elvis has left the building"
I use "literally" literally all the time.
wie geht's
What kind of dessert has nothing in it?
I mumble "nigger dick" under my breath whenever I think of something cringeworthy I've done in the past
national hero detected
I compulsively say the word boypussy in the faggiest lispy voice possible when i'm alone
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my vocabulary has never been described in one post before.

>I also use ebonics even though I'm white, have no friends and only I find it funny.

>I quote memes in public.

>I tell people when they have gotten meme'd.

>Still avoid eye contact with all women, even when speaking to them.

>Justify my terrible looks with my perfect sense of white knight morality.

>Judge people based on memes they post to FB.

>Reeee at people sometimes over small shit.

This one time I got a new job as a legacy app developer for a Fortune 500 company. Started that day off great. Fat fuck me flirted with the receptionist, ate donuts, got introduced to the web team. Then they showed me what I was hired to fix. It was an old ticketing system for their sales department. Shit was ancient but I knew it better thanks to that. Then I found one minor error. Something a noob makes. I lost my shit and REEEEEED at the dev team asking for who made it. Boss pulled me aside and said they were letting me go. Try to explain I'm an Autistic cuck and I can't control it. Literally dig the hole deeper. Boss walked me to elevator said bye.

>slapped the ass of the receptionist on the way out. Now I'm banned from the whole complex.
when im im public i always mumble "go away, go away, go away, etc" when another person comes too close for my liking
you talk about baroque music with your friends?
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>tfw trying not to strangle that smarmy tryhard chode who does that Renaissance Fair accent and calls people "kind sir"
>that face when you are that smarmy toad.
that is some next level shit my nigger.
Indeed, I will live my days out alone. Still got hookers for my needs

I have Schizoid Personality Disorder and am an Autist on many levels.
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this thread is full of nigger dubs
I'd like to believe these threads are purely fabricated.
it is what it is

Those irritate me the most.
Not really a phrase or word, but whenever I am with my brother/best friend I make up a character on the spot who has completely different beliefs than me and pretend to be them, satirizing the beliefs. It amuses me.
My brother told me I should do improv comedy, but I'm too autistic.
I unironically say "Yare yare daze" all the time.


I'm a igbo knuckle
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I say "oi" to get people's attention, and sometimes to express disbelief. I'm an Ameriburger. I'm pretty sure I picked it up from anime.
I say "perhaps" and "I suppose" a bit too often. Also "honestly".
I casually refer to people by titles instead of names. Skipper, boss, cap'n, and chief are my most usual, in that order.
I tend to slip into accents of shows i'm watching, but it's usually not noticeable.

When i'm alone I do Jojo posing in front of a mirror.
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what a fucking shit meme

fucking normies

I'm part of a group called the brosnakes. The brosnakes were spawned from a sperglord at my old high school who's dog died from a snakebite. He made a weird howling noise why telling the story and was fucking upset. We mimic that sound and I use it as a greeting and when I'm alone. I can record it if you cunts want?

But in every fucking sentence. It's embarrassing.
Mentally shout RAPE everytime I see a pretty girl. "RAPE!?" or "no rape" when she turns out to be a fuggo.
"To be honest..."
"In my opinion..."
"I don't know why, but..."
"I dunno, ..."
"I mean..."
"I feel like..."

I wish I could just get to the point, I never sound sure of myself when I start almost every sentence with shit like this.
Fantastic. I'll probably end up saying this too in future. Hope you don't mind.
Tell me more about these strange things anon
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It's my default reaction to any situation.
I've started saying "... , my man" a lot instead of "dude" or whatever lately

I can't think of any other catchphrase but the way I speak is generally a bit off, I think. I blame it on the henney
This is like my mantra.

>see oneitis with guy
>"I don't care. I am not a cuck. I am not a cuck. I am not a cuck."
>(humming one note like mmmmm)
Looks like I'll just have to say nothing ever again.
kek me too
Habeeb it!!

[Open rebellion against the original comment detector]
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Whenever I'm driving my car (yeah, I know, reeeeee) and listening to the radio I sing along but make the songs all about cats. For example, the words 'meow', 'mog', 'cat', 'kittens' etc replace some of the words and usually are about cuddles or fish.

Tried for years to stop doing this but it's just automatic. Help!
I sometimes speak in ebonics when i talk to girls, do it in a sarcastic tone since most of the hoodrat hoes where i live eat that shit up. Doesn't help that i'm a blonde haired blue eyed whitey, If you know who Plies is, i make that "EUGH" noise a lot.

Bantering with stuff like
>UEHHH, what that mouth do girl
>You stupid for that one, but that ass doe gurl
That's only the shit i say to white girls. Spanish women i treat like absolute shit and say completely vulger things to. I don't like doing it but they like it.

If there's some kind of threat from mild to severe
>I got the strap (i actually do)
>I ain't trippin
>I ain't worried
>He looks like a LIL OL BITCH

And i wonder why i can only pull hoes.

Generally i also just parody myself. If someone says something mildly aggressive or even wanting to fight, strangely enough my tone is the same.

>Woah there, those are a lot of words. A lot of words.

Then occasionally when i am actually not afraid of the person at all i will do a fake cower and feign acting what i think a complete bitch would act like during the situation like

>Help! Police!
>Okay, i'll just be your bitch and do that then
>Please don't hurt me, i just want to live

I think i have some kind of paradoxical personality disorder but i keep people laughing some i'm aloud to do what i do. Even amongst the hood niggers i keep around.
I tend to say thank you and I'm sorry way too much, and joke about vaginas smelling like fish constantly. I worry people think I'm implying I have a fishy vagina.

I always say this in my head too. Also desu senpai and other meme words like cuck or degenerate.
>columbine's logo uses comic fucking sans
They were asking for it.
I replace "fuck" with "cuck". And i also do this *cough* cuck *cough* to normies

you toxic masculinists wouldnt understand
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anything from fate/stay night

>nine in my head
>I look at the tree branch
>divine skill, flawless and firm
>I am the bone of my sword
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>dog dies
>immediately say while sobbing
>"fugg, ebin meme"

I still don't know why i did that
Jesus christ I'm laughing, you're beyond salvation
I often mutter to myself 'kill a nigger, pull the trigger. kill a nigger, pull the trigger... etc.' to myself when I'm thinking about something
That's funny cause my thing is

Brocksquad i yell it then its going down
I say "young," sometimes. Or maybe it's "yung"

>mom pass me that young salt shaker
Another one.
Whatever is the key to success.
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>be manlet
>see manlet
>see the manlet trying to say things to people or trying to be relevant in any way or form
>constantly repeat "manlet" over and over until he's out of sight
I end a lot of my sentences with "y'know" or "eh?"

It's extremely fucking annoying and I can't stop
When I'm arguing/debating/circlejerking with people I hardly know, I'll say 'Bush did 9/11' somewhere in my sentence as if it were a normal part of the sentence.

Some peoples faces...
jejejeje, I'm gonna start doing that
I say cheersies whenever someone does me a solid

>and I still say 'does me a solid'
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>just because you're correct doesn't mean you're right.
>kill yourself
>I want to die
also I say "by the way" too much
Haraam has found its way into my lexicon, as well as calling people who fuck up in lab terrorists
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I say this to sometimes after playing TPP and seeing this image I laugh and say Absolutely Haram

I have a gay lisp that I developed because I would keep doing ironic gay guy impressions and then it turned into habit and now it's basically my voice.

>my fucking sides

commentuss originaltia

*points finger gun sideways*

... why the fuck do i do this?
Reminds me of the guy in the autism thread a while back
>4 billion dollars and everything will be alright
I still laugh
vocaroo now boipucci
>I'm an Ameriburger. I'm pretty sure I picked it up from anime.
it's also a britbong thing so that helps some people think it's less weird
fuck I remember that

gonna start thinking this when I fuck up from now on
>often use big words like "presumably" and "redundant" in casual conversation
>I'll end up using a single big word more than twice in different contexts within the same conversation

I wish my aspergers didn't make me do such stupid shit...
You're just a bit too self concious m8.
Fudge off Tony
Fuck off normalfag

You don't understand how bad it is to over-articulate all the time due to bad social anxiety.
Get out.
>shout "KILL MYSELF!" whenever I'm alone and an embarrassing thought comes up
>reply with "nande?" when someone calls me
>have tried to speak Japanese to the ramen shop owners, but can't stop adding "dattebayo" and "-ttebayo" at the end of my sentences
>I have a full sliding door mirror in my room, so whenever I go in I'll say "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu" in a deep villainous voice before I appear in it
I do it but about my dog
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"are you ready for spaghetti"
"moms spaghetti"
"Ayy lmayonaise"

i should kill myself
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"get memed on"
[anime moaning sounds]
>my guy
>i'm just having a good time
>stage 7 auts
>eat my ass
>shut the fuck off
>i hope you die later today
>please give me the sweet release of death
>am i right ladies
>i am going to eat my own hands
uh, you don't get to bring lists
I always keep on saying i want to die and JUST every time i remembering something embarrassing or tragic. the fact sometimes i say it loud sometimes it's really fucking humiliating
I audibly moan either when I'm frustrated or comfortable, also I say "not gonna" or otherwise click my tongue mimicking that phrase. It's an ocd thing from constantly believing I was gonna have a heart attack
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>I audibly moan either when I'm frustrated or comfortable
Same. Especially when watching anime and a cute girl appears and/or does something cute.
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>Just fuck my shit up
When things get really bad I start out muttering it, then keep repeating it in a crescendo until I'm screaming it.
>What if you're dead and this is hell
>see sexy female
"yeah bitch"

>technology failure
"why am i paying you for this"

>embarrassing memory
"ughhh that's not good"

get out chad
wew lad
Wew laddy-boy
> when I'm with my friend I'll frequently say "that feel when no gf"

[Spoiler] what does wew lad mean? What context do you use it in?
found the redditor123
i used to mutter 'dread apple 2' under my breath all the time
Are you Australian?

Original post penis penis
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"don't worry about it"
"I think you know"
"move that shit out the way"
(when asked how much) "enough to kill a man"

my family hates it
>get roasted
>get meme'd
>and his name is John cena
>hentai moaning sounds
>shouting 'yaaa' in a shitty german accent

People have asked me to stop but I cant
I say this so much, it just seems more natural than a generic English greeting like "sup"
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Can you stop pls

in unfavorable circumstances
>duuuude, suck my diiiick...
it's called being sensitive, anon. it's normal as fuck. it's a verbal protection mechanism too so normies don't lose their shit around if you speak your mind, tbqh famalam.
"get rekt" although only when it's appropriate

>"To be honest..."
Fuck this shit! One of my friends tags this on to the end of nearly every sentence and I want to fucking punch him.
>I don't understand this meme tbqh
>Is that a new meme?
>I see, so that's the meme power he was talking about
>this meme has gone way too far
>when will this meme finally die
>there are things in life that are far bigger than us, like memes.
>meme mechanics
>meme blast
4 spooky 8 me
no body ever even understands what i have said
>"don't worry about it"
oh shit me too
>"but that's another story"
>"but that's not why you called"
>"hold the phone"
"wut" completely deadpan.
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I say "cuck my wife into pieces" anytime I remember something embarrassing

>tbqh familia
>it's all over now
>i never asked for this
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>"don't worry about it"
Fuck, that one's the most annoying phrase I've ever encountered in my life.

>ask a question
>"don't worry about it"
>"I'm not, I just want to know"
>"don't worry about it"
I'm one of those fags that uses ironic 90s slang, like "rad" and "bombastic". I don't know how to stop.

>shout "KILL MYSELF!" whenever I'm alone and an embarrassing thought comes up

I'm taking this, and you can keep your anime.
Gruzja - Georgia in english
I say it when I think about losses from the past
Holy shit this

I also do it with inanimate shit, though, so more like a "do not compromise" kind of deal.
Some sort of compulsion. I used to constantly say (and sometimes still do) "Satan sucks but God is awesome, not awful, so yeah". If I didnt I would get this weird feeling in my feet and it would be nagging away in my head until I said it.
I say "yeah" whenever it's my turn to speak, like I'm acknowledging them passing the conversational torch to me.

>fuck that exam was hard
>yeah I feel you I thought the essay questions were easy tho
>man those were hard for me I didn't get what x question wanted
>yeah you just gotta remember the formula blah blah
>I guess. hopefully the professor will curve it
>yeah she always did before so she probably will
>did you do the homework yet?
>yeah no
>me neither should probably get it done soon. oh there's my girlfriend
>yeah cool I'm headed to the gym now I'll see you later

actual conversation I had
>help, i'm suffering
>shut up bitch
>get that dirty shit away from me
>a series of random noises in an african accent followed by a single pop
Are you that guy I talked to months ago? I said how as a kid I was convinced that if I didn't tell myself drugs were bad 24/7 I would become an addict.
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what the fuck family
I used to get called pretentious a lot because I use a lot of unnecessary words in normal speech. Not even trying to be a pseudointellectual douche but I guess that's just how I come across. People have legit laughed at me or pointed out how odd I was for using the following in everyday conversation

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>Mein kitty (how I always call my cat)
>Nanomachimes, son
>My nigga, my nigga, my mothafuckin nigga
>Mein kitty
That yogurt is tasty but why are you straining it, trying to make shitty greek yogurt?

Just in case you are the actual person I know who does this: stop.

We aren't speechless because what you said was edgy and lolsorandum; we make faces at you because we are cringing at how fucking autistic you are. You shut down the conversation by spouting awkward memes (and yes, we know it's a meme) and people are making uncomfortable faces because it's impolite to call you a fucking annoying, insecure bitch but they really want to.

s m h familian
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Dude lmao meme
Sounds really lame desu, you can refrain from recording
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>nu eta da
>sis kat
>masta masta
pretentious if used unironically
this one has a specific meaning and i hope you're using it right
daffy duck tier baka
see: deluge
perfectly fine word
again, nothing wrong with this one
furry detected
>My man
>My dude
>Poor attempt, my amateurish amigo
>Nice try, my clodhopping compadre
>Darkie Dark and the Monkey Bunch
>Downtown Browntown
I say "fascinating" ironically and/or unironically at some point in just about every conversation.
>"Motherfuckin' biggie smalls"
>"where do they keep the x" (Inquiring about the location of anything even places like parking lots)
>"why oh why why why"
>"ver batim"
>"Mitt Romney is a lizard"
>"funny you should ask"
>my laugh (sounds literally like someone loudly and deeply saying "HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAA")
>I sneeze louder than anyone else ever and everyone turns around
>"I eat pussy."
>"I fucked a goat."
>"what in fuck"
>"how many times"
>"that's what you think"
>"there's a sword in my car" (there actually is)
>"I have flares in my car" (I actually do)

i do that with "interesting"
that's dumb desu fampai
good original comnt
Not me, but my friend used to work as a cashier at a supermarket, and one time he fucked something up, and when the customer called him out on it, he said, "I-I do apologize" he's a burgerclap too
"as far as"
"in regards to"

I don't mean to say that there's anything inherently autistic about these words. I just catch my self using them too often.
I, uh, I mean, uhm...

Like that every time. I don't know why. I've also taken to mumbling to kill myself under my breath, but I'm slowly breaking that habit.
I do this all the time since I started going to the gym and posting in /fit/.
>see angry manlet lifting
>think to myself "shoo shoo"
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Whenever someone expresses uncertainty about the future
>Well, I suppose that remains to be seen

When I am surprised
>What the blue blazes

When I am annoyed
>Cingadera de la verga. Cada dia una mostrada de mierda.

Also, when I am anxious, I say random phrases in various languages.
I like saying oy or aye
I'm French
>tfw when anxious I start to recite the Eve of Saint Crispin's Day Speech.
>girl in high-school would yell "iiiiiaaaaaaaa" in the most high pitched voice possible whenever someone touched her
That was hot
get ruined
0161 manny on the map
whippin bricks
ayy lmao
top meme
nice meme
top kek
fuck my ass
well met
goddamn negroes(in a really southern accent)
give me the suck
jesus fucking christ
anytime I beat someone I tell them to get shit on
not sure where it came from
anytime i almost run into someone or there's a close call ill say "woah woah woah woah" or "watch out, bub"
Calm down Aidan. I do it just to piss you off.
prob from the time you were told to get shit on
Oh shit I think I remember that, yeah.
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