>tfw stoned as balls at work

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>>25587404
this is a funny pepe

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>>25587404
Here, this will help calm you down OP.

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Wageslaves at work slaving away for Mr Shekalberg.

>>25587456
it made it worse

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>>25587490
How so desu? Is there any way I can assist you in this predicament?

They all know dude

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>>25587521
Of course they know, OP is giggling like a schoolgirl.

>>25587518
>tfw manlet

your intentions are good but this isn't getting better

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>>25587542
Poor anon. I find it useful to stretch your neck, that way you can be ahead of the competition.

>>25587567
ahhhhh fuck fuck fuck what the fuck is happening with that cucumber what the fuck, I'm gonna get fired. Fuck my dad is gonna fuck my shit up

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>>25587577
CONDUCTOR YOU HAVE A PROBLEM
CONDUCTOR YOU HAVE A PROBLEM
CONDUCTOR YOU HAVE A PROBLEM

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>>25587577
Have you eaten yet? A McDicks always helps me when I need to return back to my body.

I rolled two blunts together the other day and smoked it before I came in. I'm black, so people here instinctively don't make eye contact with me long enough to see my pupils are wider than my smile.

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>tfw you're stoned as balls in class and you can smell weed REALLY strongly, but you know for a fact that you're not even close to the only one and the smell could literally be anybody
>tfw you look around, ask yourself who at the table smokes, and realize the smell is literally everybody

>>25587617
Blacks live on godmode

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>>25587404
OP you need to grab that job by the balls and milk it for all its worth.

i got fired for being high at work

my manager's cousin sold me the weed, manager helped me get it

other manager who is a bitch and isnt about dat life caught me spilling shit, had eye drops in but i must have smelled like bud

feels bad man, im a neet again, have to abstain from weed or go broke

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>be sixteen
>stoned at school
>having lunch with classmates
>say some really stupid comment to a story the sitting guy next to me was telling
>laugh really loud at my own comment
>everyone at the table shuts up and just stares at me for a few seconds, then go back to talking among themselves pretending I didn't say anything
>don't speak during lunch ever again
it's a small wonder I never got into trouble for any of my bullshit back then, we used to blaze it in the school parking lot and the school had pretty strict rules against smoking in general

>>25587692
well actually i was high and drunk

probably shouldnt have done that in retrospect

>>25587404
Here, this dude explains how to look normal whilst high.

https://youtu.be/RRAw_ogOfrk?t=8s

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>>25587724
no he didn't why must you torture me? My shit is getting fucked up. o-only 8 more hours to go, r-right guys?

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>>25587789
Teehee. Just keep going for toilet breaks anon, time flies when you're having fun.

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>>25587617
>tfw eyes are so dark that people have actually pointed out that they're pretty much black
>tfw I can be tripping absolute balls in any setting I want and nobody can tell by looking at my eyes
>tfw frequently tripping discretely in public
Appearances like ours are like a minor superpower.

>>25587699
That genuinely sounds scary. Not even, "Oh shit, I'm in trouble" scary, just "Oh fuck, I just fucked up socially and the high is magnifying the gravity of the situation" scary

>>25587870
That vid would be even better with shit instead of piss.

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>>25587985
Maybe OP can produce one, I'm sure he's already in a very daring mood today.

>>25587888
not nearly as bad as the time one of the teachers was fucking with me.

for context, I was in graphic design school
>since the work is independent and creative, everyone was allowed to come and go freely out of the class room in case they want coffee or need to have a bathroom break, as long as the job gets done
>get all assignments done in record time since actually proficient at what I do
>timetosmoke.png
>come back to classroom after having a smoking break, fuck around in PhotoShop and browse the internet since work's all finished
>teacher comes up from behind me without a warning and puts a stack of papers in front of me
>see the header is "procedure in case of suspicion of narcotics abuse"
>heart sinks and start to sweat, thinking that I'm fucked
>just when I'm about to start explaining how totally not high I am, she starts going about how she needs this shit laid out in 12-page 210x99mm format
I stayed sober at school for a few months after that, started smoking again once I got a different teacher

>>25587870
how can he pee that long
wow... amazing.

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>>25588192
It's poopoopeepee behind the camera, he planned for this.

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>>25588129
Damn. That honestly sounds scary as fuck. I wouldn't be able to tell if that was a funny joke kind of fucking with or a "don't do that shit again" kind of fucking with. And it's not like you could ever ask to ascertain which.

As long as we're on the subject of being fucked with by teachers,
>be me
>have an enormous sack of magic mushrooms
>wake up, getting ready for class
>stare at the mushrooms
>fuck it, I'm really good at handling my shit on these things and I'm used to high doses, I'll just eat a few caps for breakfast and see what a normal day is like with that
>go to class (music theory), body high is way more intense than I expected but my mind's still pretty much there
>talking about tonal harmony
>I ask a question about intervals that basically boils down to whether certain rules had an objective reason for their being or if they were just there because they seemed to sound right; expect a pretty normal answer to my question
>Teacher: "You ever go into one of those funhouses with the weird mirrors where if you stand over here, you're all big, but if you move closer, you shrink?"
>what the fuck did he just say?
>"Wh-what?"
>trying to hold my shit together; this is the exact moment that rainbowvision and morphing kick in HARD
>his next explanation of it is to compare intervals to the math behind fractals
>smiling and grinning at me the whole time, but he always smiles

To this day, I don't know if he was fucking with me or not. I thought he definitely was, but what's weird is that the bit about fractals actually clicked for me a year later after studying more math, further making me wonder whether he was actually fucking with me or giving a legitimate explanation about relationships between two things playing off each other.

>>25587714
any job you can't do high and drunk is a shit tier job. You're better off as a NEET.

>>25587567
yeee
original comment donut steel

>>25587404
Imagine the same, but your job being a teacher. Good thing most of my work involves grading and less actual teaching, but it was still fucking trippy.

>>25588334
she was a stone cold bitch, no question about that.

her husband was a teacher at the school too, the most broken man I've ever met. a complete doormat

Anyway, I'm pretty sure your teacher could tell you were high. I didn't know how easy it is to spot someone's on drugs as a teenager, since I used drugs with friends only and we'd reassure each other we're totally normal looking, but now that I've seen stoned people while sober myself it's super fucking obvious.

>>25588334
I know Scarfolk is meant to be satire but I seriously think that's a good idea.

I mean, LSD and DMT and whatnot tend to make people suggestive. Hell, I know from experience high enough doses of JWH and HU cannabinoids can allow you to program someone to find very specific stimuli repellent.

>>25588837
Lsd specifically was used as a tool for mind control in the 60's by the CIA. Its probably still in use