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ITT: Things in Porn that Piss You Off
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Thread replies: 112
Thread images: 23
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Let us share our fap frustrations, I'll start.

>"Lesbian" porn has the girls fucking each other for all of 30 seconds before some guy comes in an they jump on his dick
>Obnoxious synth music in the background
>Webcam with single-digit framerate and/or some shitty radio playing in the background
>Cameraman won't shut the fuck up
>Fat girls are all either barely thick coeds or terrifying middle-age hamplanets
>Porn where the dick is placed so prominently that you can barely see the girl's tits
>Fetish you like is always bundled with things you don't
>japanese censorship

it's like removing alcohol from an alcoholic beverage and still calling it an alcoholic beverage
>bald vaginas
Is really hard to find bushy girls, and we you do they usually are fat ugly bitches in amateur videos
When the girl makes a bunch of annoying ass 'oooohs' and 'ahhhs' before she's even gotten her clothes off. Shit drives me crazy. Like, please, shut the fuck up and save it for the sex.

This is insanely accurate. A Vodka Cranberry is just Cranberry Juice.
You mean without Vodka, mate.

For me, I'd have to say one of the most annoying things when the girls is obnoxiously loud. It's fine if she's enjoying it, but all that screaming and screeching 5 seconds into taking the dick is just annoying as shit and not sexy at all.
>amateur porn
>the goddamn TV is on the whole time
no word of a lie, I was watching some arab girl blowjob amateur thing (i was very sad and didn't care about what i watched) and the fucking gangnam style music video started playing in the background and the girl turned away for a sec to watch it
every guy has a missively huge penis and the lack of any passionate emotion.
>porn about stocking, corsets, garter belts, etc.
>she takes it off after a good 20 seconds.

I'm fapping to the whole set, not just the naked girl, why do they do that?
I feel that. Why even address your lingerie and shit as the focal point of your video if you're gonna ditch the clothes in the first minute. That's not how this shit works.
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>they don't take their socks off
>Cameraman won't shut the fuck up

wait, people actually watch porn with sound on?
I hate audioless porn, but sometimes the girls are annoying as shit, so silent can definitely be better at times.
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>they take their socks off
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>anal scene
>guy cums in her ass
>he pulls out
>camera close up of her ass
>she starts farting cum out her ass
I have a sock fetish and it happens too often
Know any good ones?
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>no audio
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>Search for "Light femdom"

>Search for "Curvy"
>be fapping
>Touhou BGM starts playing
Fuggg :-DDDD
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>cameraman is having bantz with the other dude

I don't even like porn anymore
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>only compilation video on the entire internet
>it has music

>2 hour compilation
>no backups and torrent has 0 seeders
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>tfw you found out that the "lesbians" in lesbian porn aren't lesbians
>she opens her mouth and show her tongue full of cum after the blowjob
Bitch thats nasty, just swallow it
>implying you've always believed they were
I bet $2,000 that real lesbian pornstars are non existent in lesbian porn
>incest hentai
>the mother is a likeable character that I want to see more of
>halfway through he fucks some random slut that isn't related to him just to keep it fresh

Do you know the milfing man was a good hentai, but they fucked up with that scene. Incest only dammit.
She moans while he tittyfucks her.
What the fuck bitch?
>when she exists in the third dimension
Yall wouldn't have these problems if you switched to the objectively better medium.
Literally the stupidest shit ever. That shit drives me crazy. Why do they think that shit's sexy?
Personally, unless I'm only looking at drawn photos, I can't get into 2D shit. The animation for an animated segment is inferior to standard digital art. Tits don't look as good, and everybody's skin just looks stupid.
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>watching girl/girl scene
>they're really going at it
>suddenly guy comes in
>they start to suck him off
>"Lesbian" porn has the girls fucking each other for all of 30 seconds before some guy comes in an they jump on his dick

holy fucking this. i always look for the lesbian shit because i don't wanna see dicks/balls/male asshole/load but then some dude jumps in there every fucking time.
If I had any artistic ability I would contribute to the 2D world, but my drawings are so bad they make Sonichu look like Watchmen.
>dyke detected
Be my friend :^)
>the girls is wearing ugly ass high heels the whole video
like what the fuck, why would you wear that, and even then, why would you wear it WHILE FUCKING

>close-up of a guy's asshole
>guy's moans/talking
>half-hearted blowjobs where the bitch just licks the tip reluctantly

All lesbian porn.
>find really good futa porn
>chicks fucking each other
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VN>manga>still images>hentai>gross real girls >3DCG
Apparently some people actually like that dumb ass shit. I brought that up to a friend once and he said it added to the appeal. I made a face like that was fucking stupid, but then I like shemales and he doesn't, so I didn't really have room to judge.
And it is always the loudest,dumbest,fakest moans. Shit makes me uncomfortable

I like fake plastic dick blowjob scenes, if only because of the colossal, pressurized fake cum.

>Girl avoids the stream
>Girl is too afraid of the plastic dick to get into sucking it good
>Half of the fake cumshot misses her
>Doesn't cum into her mouth or pussy
>She just wipes it off her clothes.
>She is obviously not into it at all
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Wtf dude. That is a huge turnoff for me, I just can't bare to look at the porn without paying attention to their shoes.

It's fucking enfuriating
I don't really care for VN or manga when I'm looking for something to fap too. Stills are definitely the better way to go for me personally. VNs and manga have too much going on. I just want to see nice pics, so half of that shit is irrelevant. I definitely like looking at real girls overall, but when I really want something to appreciate while also getting off, then 2D porn is the way to go.

Fyi, 3DCG is great, but only when done well. A lot of that shit looks weak as hell.
Get the fuck over it,holy shit.If you're so uncomfortable with your own sexuality that watching a man's penis going into a woman makes you angry or disgusted then you have problems.Like,more problems than the average poster on this board.
VNs are good but in the one in your pic the sex is so funny it's hard to fap to it.
This as fuck. Lesbian porn is shit tier and equivalent to cuck porn.
Are you saying that you DON'T like the sounds of 30-40 year old voice actors imitating motor boats?
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>chick starts blowing guy
>as soon as she starts deepthroating, pan to guy's face to see his reaction
>by the time it pans back, shes done deepthroating

>goddamn interviews beforehand
>no plot at all

>when pornstars have simple roles and still fuck it up
>is a philosophy teacher, starts saying laws of physics in middle of porn

It's not about disliking the penis.

It's about the dick and balls obscuring the whole goddamn spectacle of penetration or sex in a way that's obtrusive, without enhancing a scene.

Like, I can really appreciate the aesthetic of dicks. To the point where I can't even watch a scene if the guy has an ugly-as-sin dick(tanned bodybuilder types are the most guilty of this, their dicks look like a dried turd and is the same shade as the rest of them, glans and all).

Good scenes:

>Girl playing with a dick
>Handjob scenes
>close-ups of a penis being stimulated in a manner that allows you to observe the stimulation
>close-ups of penetration or an interactive orgasm
>A girl playing with a big dick/measuring her arm against it/pressing it against her face/penis slapping

Bad scenes:

>noninteractive jacking off to completion in front of a girl for a moneyshot nobody really cares about anymore
>Dick and balls getting in the way of seeing penetration occur
>Pathetic blowjobs
>Guys desperately trying to work themselves up to a hardness level that can achieve penetration
>tfw no porn that focuses on the belly that doesn't have hamplanets in it
I like it too much for it to turn me on.
Again dude,2D is where it's at my man.
YES. They sound so fucking phony that it just takes me out of the moment. I was watching something yesterday where the girl was just being totally extra throughout the scene and I had to turn that shit off. It's sad because she was reaaaaally sexy. The shit either makes me cringe, laugh or both.
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>Guys desperately trying to work themselves up to a hardness level that can achieve penetration
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>tranny porn
>ugly shrived dick

>gross teeth
>same hairy old guy in every one

>about to cum
>camera moves to guys dick or face

>hot white chick
>black dick comes out of no were

>camera is under guys ass and balls

>shes bad at JOI
I can ignore the shoes, and just fap, but they are a bit distracting. It just looks so fucking retarded. Like, I'd rather you keep on literally any article of clothing and I'd be good, but you kept your fucking heels on. It doesn't look classy like they would if she was dressed up. Now she just looks like a hooker and it isn't sexy at all.
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>it's a recording of some actual person instead of someone's best attempt at a depiction of their concept of perfection

It's shitty, but to be expected. A lot of those dudes wear their dicks out with pumps, injections, and just wear and tear, and then also slather on numbing cremes in order to be able to do shittons of shoots in a day, since the camera crew and talent is paid per hour and production can't afford to bleed money out while a dude to recover for another go.

>trying to flog the log
>about to drop a load
>porn switches to that awful close up of the guys face they always show
>I nut while staring into some guys face

>tranny porn
>beautiful golden brown skin all over their body
>except for their disgusting nigger dick

>trannies with ridiculously skinny/deformed dicks
>circumcised trannies(uncut is the feminine dick type)

Stare back and assert your dominance.If your face is intense enough,he'll know.
yes, i agree with this as well m8
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Interracial porn being forced down everyone's throat.

I frequent this one BBW website that always has at least a couple interracial videos "featured". Yet when I browse the videos by their popularity, the first 10 pages are of white couples with BBWs. The next 5 pages are of white couples with regular sized girls. Then you get into the videos with black guys. You would think that this BBW site especially would have interracial videos being more popular than it actually is. People even watch regular girls before interracial ones even though they were obviously intending to watch bbws. They literally only "feature" these interracial videos to do their jewish agenda.

pic related
Porn is literally ran by jews, what did you expect?
Scene starts with some girl on some insanely hot crotchless panties and some mind bending cupless bra.

30 seconds in, the mindless tool takes all of it off and starts fucking her.

Can't even be a proper porn cuck anymore...

All I want is some porn scenes where a dude fucks a girl proper with some space level lingerie... I would actually pay for that.
I jerk off exclusively to omorashi (wetting) porn
>girl talks excessively about how much / what she drank earlier
>tumblr page has mixed male / female omo
>tumblr page has SJW shit all over it
>video is tagged as "public" when she's in a secluded area and there are no other people around
>girl has british accent (why is this so common?)
>Webcam with single-digit framerate and/or some shitty radio playing in the background
>japanese censorship

>amateur porn that is clearly not amateur at all
>guy's ass shot
>guy keeps talking or moaning all the time
>girl barely reacts to anything done to her.
>30 minutes of blowjob. 10 minutes of fucking. More blowjob until the guy cums
>is a well known pornstar
>video thumbnail and preview look amazing
>open video
>audio is ONLY music
>"ok fine, let's skip farther ahead, I need to hear moaning, etc."
>more music
>skip farther
>still just music
>close tab
Fuck you. I NEED sex sounds to get off at all.
>guy kinda side on so the view can see his dick go into her

just fuck her so i can see her ass jiggle, i dont want to see your dick
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>Amatuer catagory
9/10 videos are interracial
Wanted to rant about this, but you nailed it for me.
that's what happens when you get fucked in the ass

I think it's hot desu
>attempts to deepthroat
>not taking the whole cock in the ass
>guy isnt going full power on her ass
>she acts, its obvious she doesnt enjoys it but tries to fake it
>amateur "porn"

good porn is rare and taken down after a day
most women are shit at sex even when its their job
>blowjob/handjob scene with closeup on the penis
>guy is cut
I think it looks grotesque and you should kill yourself
niggers, thats all
>circumcised dicks
>fake dicks
>moaning guys
>guys that won't shut the fuck up
>small pathetic loads
>fake loads
>when the guy jerks off on the woman's face in the end even in POV blowjob videos
>fake and over the top loud screaming from girls
>stupid and uncomfortable sex positions that they clearly do for the camera
>videos that have no sound
>videos that have delayed sound
>videos that have extremely poor quality sound to the point where it's unwatchable
>videos that have music only
>videos that have extermely low framerate
>japanese censorship
>when the camera zooms in on the guy's asshole
Those vids where the cameraman is bantering with the girl for a solid 5 minutes infuriate me. They seriously can not think people listen to them.

>>Obnoxious synth music in the background
>that one clip you watched which had amazing ambient synth music but you never found out the artist's name

Not even a thread on mu helped.
Are you autistic?
Search "lesbian porn" right now and tell me if the first results even show a guy in them
Finding a great video
But can never find it again
>wears a top or corset covering belly
It wouldn't be so frustrating if I stopped looking for it. But I'm trying to fap and look for it at the same time hoping I can cum to it. But instead I give up and it's a disappointing experience overall.
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>title has something related to anal

>little or no anal
>when it's obvious that she only takes it up the ass because her pussy can't take it, i want to see some nicely spread pussy
>when she doesn't get completely naked, like if her top just got stripped down to waist level and just hangs there the entire porn
>bad lightning, too dark, too bright
>no cameraman, the guy just got a crash course where to place the camera in the room or how to hold it himself
>she doesn't enjoy it
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>creampie porn. why is this porn full of the most fuck ugly looking people on the plannet? i mean its also a 20 minute video for a 3 second segment at the end were he cums, pulls out, and you see it dribble. you're better off just watching normal porn because at least then the girls aren't fuck ugly.

>lesbian porn were one is just laying there like a deadfish and the other is having to be hyper agressive to make up for the other girl not doing anything.

>10 second clips uploaded. fucking why? no ones getting off to that.
>10 second clips

The most aggravating thing on the planet
Sucking in air through their teeth
>tranny porn
>dude sucks the trans d
>dude on the bottom
Literally why
The single worst one:

>Search for fetish, slightly obscure.
>Finally find a video with it to satisfy dick.
>Has a maximum 2 seconds of fetish before turning into generic porn.

It's absolute disappointment.
>cosplay porn
>they take their outfit off before the first 20 seconds

what's the point?
This is a 2D only thing but
>no loli with older woman
Why? Just why? There is so little stuff and I've been putting hours of research into this.
>Fucked Up Facials
Call me naive, but I thought that shit was real at first
>femdom porn where the guy isn't really getting dominated
>"fuck my ass slave xD"
>When they try to add a stupid story
>costume play / parody porn where everybody is full naked after a minute
>fully clothed porn with just silk / satin clothes
>lesbian porn here one of the girls is disturbingly ugly
>threesome porn where one of the girls is disturbingly ugly
>near interracial is always white girl - black guy
there's a good one of these by tetsu
I forgot to mention
>when the girl gets completely naked
Every girl looks exactly the same when they're naked as other girls of their same size. Keep on the stocking or some shit, damn
Georgia Jones
Gimme your email so I can send you account details
Oh come now. They can't be that bad
the fact that people can make a good livelihood from doing it, really gets my goat.

>guy or girl mentions anything about how they've bought expensive things or how easy it is to get sex
>close private browsing window
>put dick away
>start posting on r9k
>or how easy it is to get sex
sex in their personal lives i should add.
What website?
this comment us original

Cuck has been spotted. All units fire on his position
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>titfuck scene
>doesnt cum between tits
>big tits video
>no titfuck
>girl acting goes to shit as soon as the guy starts touching her
>top tier body
>fuck like a soulest puppet
>japanese moans
>taken down due to copyrights
>ass doesnt jiggle during anal scene
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When it comes to actual porn I only really like girls by themselves anymore. Stripping, dancing, being seductive.. that sort of thing.

I also like eroge cg sets. Wish I could read japanese to play the games because I always wonder how things end up the way they do.
Those are some massive balls for such a little girl.
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> "amateur" Japanese Adult Video
> a bunch of girls get picked up
> the cutest girl with the hottest body doesn't get her brains fucked out

Can't think of anything worse.
>close-up of penetration that ALWAYS puts the guy's ass squarely into the focus
Echoing everyone else's complaints about fake moans, fake tits, fake amateur porn, and talking cameramen.

>"Amateur" porn, has a cameraman
>Lesbian porn with girls flailing their tongues against one another
>If they're talking and sound like coked-out idiots
You don't have recite Shakespeare, but if you're going to talk, talk like a normal human being. Say normal sexy shit in normal voices, none of this "OH! FUCK THAT SEXY PUSSY! OHGODFUCKYES! shit.
>Guy removes dick from mouth or pussy, jacks off onto girl to finish
That is goddamn retarded
>JOI where all she does is say something like "You should jack off now. See my tits in this bra? That should be enough to make you jack off."
>Eating pussy and they only use the tip of their tongue instead of diving in there and trying to swallow the whole thing

Hardest thing is that I get off best to something that resembles two people being romantic and cute and sexy together with lots of touching and kissing and smiling. There is not a lot of that stuff that's easily available.
Any music at all;
Cameraman's voice;
Lesbians spitting in pussy while licking;
Lesbians laughing and saying unrelated shit;
Horrible acting;
Not enough breast sucking/licking/play in lesbian porn;
Not enough lesbian porn where several girls just gang up on one more curvaceous girl and please her forcibly.

Yeah, I only watch lesbian porn.
>pegging porn
>always big bald dudes taking it
>never traps or twinks
Why live
Thread replies: 112
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