>>25574988 I went to wizard chan a few times and i felt a lot better about life but I'm afraid of going there too much because I still have some hope.
I'm 19, 6'2 and I have women looking at me whenever I leave the house. I'm also extremely fucked in the head, mental ilness on both sides of my family. I have never had an emotional connection with anyone, even my own mother. I feel like having sex will just make me even more depressed as i'll have to lie and pretend to be something I'm not to get a woman to want me. i know i will probably die without ever loving anyone and that scares the shit out of me
Not too sure about when I realized I don't get to have any friends but I realized I have no friends when it suddenly hit me that I haven't left my house in about 6 years except purely for work. The only social interaction I really get is at work, I spend my free time moping around or playing video games, I think I've been invited out once during that time and didn't go because social anxiety.
You end up coming to terms with it, you have your lonely days and content days and it becomes such a huge part of your daily life it just becomes accepted. You can change but you're quite literally going to be looking at changing your lifestyle and it will be hard to gather that motivation.
I'm 23, my advice to younger bros would be to make an effort to enjoy life while you still can, it's not nice being lonely and you will doubt your existence daily and become pessimistic in almost every way possible.
I was at a party. My friend, female, met another girl for the first time. By the end of the night, it's hugs and kisses and I-love-yous. The speed of that intimacy scared me more than anything else ever has.
>>25576231 Certainly not the psychoactive effects, but I do think the influence of that drug in general has made people fucking retarded about intimacy and personal relations. Thread about the shower "rape", case in point.
>>25574925 primary school I didn't know why. I felt so old in my shoes while they were playing their kid games I made tons of friends in high school (it's a cumulative process, I ended up at the core of a big network, beyond college) I realized most people were fucked up But apparently I was still more fucked up, as they were finding gfs and careers, I was still stuck, and lost everyone suddenly after girl fights in the core network I made friends again, from 0, a second time, from support groups (online then afk) But they all ended up progressing, again I ended up being the one drinking the most, progressing the less, falling in love a lot but always unrequited. Lost all these people too.
So now it's back to old me, like in primary school, when I was best pupil but nobody wanted to sit near me.
I just wish I didn't have sado-masochistic parents, I wish I wasn't harassed, humiliated, bullied, then disowned by a medicine doctor father, who refused to pay for my studies. I can't make friends because most losers didn't fall from very high, I don't know anyone who fell so low. All I can do is watch 5 Easy Pieces, where a young Jack Nicholson, a great pianist, estranged from his family, works with plebs on the oil rigs, and dates an ugly whorish whore.
>>25576363 I just want to be hired by someone. Though I know that if I'm ever able to make money from a steady decent job, I'll never forget the years of rejection, I'll always doubt people.
>>25576711 >I felt so old while they played their kids games >when I was best pupil but nobody wanted to sit near me >I just wish I didn't have sado-masochistic parents > I wish I wasn't harassed, humiliated, bullied
fuck man, I know all of these feels. Going watching 5 easy pieces now, stay strong
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