can someone please just explain to me how anyone over the age of 21 becomes a virgin if not by choice?
I mean let's be real, if anybody makes an honest effort to socialize with and flirt with the opposite sex, EVENTUALLY they'll at least get laid if not find a steady partner.
How do the virgins on this board do it? Do you just not try at all and expect a girl to fall in your lap?
every tried not being a faggot?
see, right there's your problem.
well, start from there. but try to take a girl out on a date. make a move, hold her hand, go in for the kiss when it feels right. know what i'm sayin?
I'm not a virgin but I haven't gotten laid in over 6 months now. I think part of it is my refusal to lower my standards, and another part is my mostly reclusive lifestyle. I'm also usually deemed as a misfit in social circles and unwanted, unless I reveal nothing about myself. Because of my low status, I am completely unattractive to the opposite sex.
Not everyone is willing to stick their neck out 800+ times to get a half decent slut
>do you even try
wew lad, do you even understand the lives of others or do you assume everyone is you?
Not every man is brave enough to approach girls either. That shit could carry large social risk. I know a guy who gets laid all the time and doesnt go for girls on campus because if you fuck it up it could be over for you, so he dates women off campus. Being non-white doesnt help him either.
It's clear you just came here and dont have any empathy/never experienced social hardship
This post is b8 anyways though so no worries I guess. I rate it 8/10
I've been an akward mofo since I was 13 and was a complete secluded virgin until 19 when I met a girl from another state online. Talked every day for a few months until I finally travelled over there and we had sex. Did the same for 2 years until we broke up when she converted to normie.
I've had sex with two girls since, and I'm 26. So I'm still a kind of a robot. Robot 8001 I guess.
I literally have no idea where or how to talk to girls. I'm 24 and out of school so there's strike one. I hate bars/clubs/etc so strike two. At work, I work in the backroom by myself. Not that it matters since all my co-workers are either above the age of 50 or <21 and married already; the customers also fall into this same age-marital status bracket so strike three. My social life also consists of playing video games in one of three places, no girls are ever involved so strike four. If I visit stores pertaining to my interests (bookshops, record stores, etc) I have never seen a girl of middling attractiveness there and even if I did I'm not gonna bother her or even notice her since I'm too focused on finding the shit I want and then leaving so strike five.
Please OP, tell me where and how to meet girls when this is my situation. I would love to break free from the cycle but I cannot.
Not being funny is enough to not have a gf too. If you cant entertain them they wont be into you
You basically need to have a laundry list of social traits even if you arent displaying status
I'm a 5'8" Indian man and I'm the OP of this thread. I've been fucking white/asian girls since I was in high school, and so have most of my friends. One is a 5'4" Indian guy from a single mother household who's never had problems meeting girls in his life, actually ended up dating a girl who turned me down at one point in high school.
Look, you guys can sit down and pull excuses out of your ass each and every day. You can pretend that trying to talk to girls is the equivalent of a rape attempt if that justifies you staying at home all day. No, I'm not pretending everyone is like me, but I can guarantee you every single person on this board is descended from a long ass lineage of men who eventually manned up and got some woman pregnant. Really, if your dad, grandad, great grandad and so on all had what it takes to make a woman attracted, then why can't you? And before you go on about how the times have changed and women are all bitchy these days, maybe you should consider that it's just another excuse you've created for yourself.
honestly I can guarantee if ANY of you faggots (even the ugly, short, fat ones) ever really tried, you'd find a girlfriend. it's not that hard. To be fair though if you ARE hideous, you should try settling for someone equally hideous just because, that's life. make some ugly ass babies together.
use a dating site, join a social club, get over your dislike of bars (they're not that bad for meeting women, clubs are more for when you're young, drunk and horny), try to make more friends.
also maybe stop playing video games so much, there's barely any women on the planet who find that stuff fun. having solitary hobbies is fine, but don't get carried away. you might want to pick up a hobby that would be something you could do with a girlfriend. not saying all girls hate games but the chance you're going to find a girl who's going to want to sit down and play JRPGs or Street Fighter with you is very, very slim.
>trying to find matches
>read their about me section
>at the end it usually says "NO BLACK GUYS" in all caps
>try to get an escort instead
>find a girl
>exchange numbers and pics
>"oh! sorry hun. i frgt to mention no blk guys! </3"
>try asking out asian, black, white girls
>"Sorry anon I only date hywhyte men!"
>try it 50 more times with different girls on campus
>similar results or they say they arent interested
>try off campus
>they act irritated when I speak to them
>all girls in social group are dating someone
So tell me, what is "manning up" to you? Not that any of your posts are real, and if they are, we should expect bragging from a brown skinned manlet
Also you're forgetting that wooing a girl requires charisma, wit, and being funny which aren't exactly the type of things you can learn. You have it or you dont.
>maybe stop playing video games so much
I only play with friends, never on my own. I do have several non-netflix/manga/animu hobbies but no one has yet to reciprocate. MY brief foray into online dating yielded zero (0) results and I just stopped logging on. My social circle could stand for some expansion but I find every person I've met in the past few years to be boring as all fuck. No one wants to talk about anything other than their job or what they watched on netflix the other day.
When I get the chance, I put in an honest effort, but it has gone nowhere. I'm happy with my friends and I am moving forward in life (albeit at a slow pace) but still, it's not as easy when you are a quiet, below-average looking manlet with esoteric interests.
>well, start from there. but try to take a girl out on a date. make a move, hold her hand, go in for the kiss when it feels right. know what i'm sayin?
And why the fuck would a girl accept a date from an ugly autistic social outcast?
this is how things went with my last girlfriend
date 1: bowling, drinks, walk, good times. hand holding.
date 2: movie (star wars), coffee, nice long talk, kiss at the end.
date 3: invites me to her house, we make dinner, watch xmen, together. I go in for a kiss, she reciprocates, we spend the next hour living in each others mouths, sex occurs in the middle of the movie... and a few more times throughout the night. we have sex once more in the morning before breakfast.
really i'd say the most important part besides finding a date is making some kind of sexual advance on the girl. obviously this can be things like holding hands, kissing, feeling her up, etc.
in the words of Obi Wan Kenobi, "Let go of your conscious self, trust your instincts." Remember your ancestors all trusted their instincts too, and as a result of that, you exist.
guys like you are dumb. there are literally millions of Indian manlets like me who grow some balls and get girls. I happen to live in Canada, I was born here.
well don't present that to her, dumbass. if you don't work on yourself and build up your own self-esteem, yes, you're going to feel like shit and girls will sense that. if you don't work on your life and feel like a confident, likable man when you look in the mirror, a girl won't see that either. probably before you think about dating girls, you should think about fixing your life.
everyone has struggles man. the important part is you're trying, maybe you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Sometimes you need to tell yourself that you're an attractive man, and if for whatever reason you DON'T feel attractive, figure out what that is (and this should be something you can change, don't get hung up about your height/race or some shit) and improve on it.
i've never had that many negative experiences before, sorry to hear that. maybe try moving somewhere else? learn charisma/wit/humour from movies or something man.
i didn't realize how dumb that sounded until now
I was a virgin up until the age of 26. Up until that point I had put no actual effort to try to have sex, because I had such low self-esteem that the idea of a girl actually liking me was completely alien to me. It was only after about a year of actively trying to unfuck and improve myself that I actually got over that.
If you don't understand depression, anxiety and the miserable lives some people lead having grown up being bullied their whole lives then, you need to check your privilege normalfriend :^)
i'm serious man
watch the old clint eastwood movies, or harrison ford, or just romance movies that are well known. just any actors who come off as being cool or suave as fuck. it's no joke, you can learn how to be more attractive to women just by learning how to emulate these kinds of guys' behaviour and mannerisms. obviously i'm not telling you to pretend you're a cowboy or a bounty hunter or something, but the way these guys present themselves is basically cool as fuck, makes women instinctively attracted to them. even if you're not the handsomest guy in the world, just learning to behave more relaxed, cool and confident will make girls like you.
next time you hear some girl gush about an actor, think of what it is that guy does on screen that captivates women's attention. yes not everyone looks like chris helmsworth, but you can at least act like you think you're hot shit. if you think and act like you're hot shit, eventually some girl out there will think you're hot shit too.
it's like fake it till you make it, learning from the best, etc.
I have a theory that most guys subconsciously learn this from their fathers growing up. But most robots were brought up by single mothers, so we have no concept of what a working relationship looks like. Movies are a pretty pathetic substitute desu, and it's too late to change your personality anyway if you're over 20.
it is in some ways a substitute for having a real father figure, but it still helps. and being a defeatist by saying "you can never change past X age" is just another loser line of thinking.
if you've been a loser your whole damn life, you need to switch shit into gear and start thinking and acting like a winner.
Hey man, I appreciate your reply. I think my biggest issue would be supplying the "good times", because I'm such a boring motherfucker. Any advice here?
>trust your instincts
I don't know, man. I think robots are broken human beings and our instincts are all fucked. Sometimes I think the best solution is to go completely opposite of our instincts.
>I mean let's be real, if anybody makes an honest effort to socialize with and flirt with the opposite sex, EVENTUALLY they'll at least get laid if not find a steady partner.
I'm pretty sure that only works because Eastwood and Ford were attractive on top of it, their mannerisms would come off as ridiculous if you weren't.
Can we all take a moment to imagine this thread on r9k a year ago. Oh wait IT WOULDNT FUCKING EXIST.
The normie influx from the shooting threads has poisoned this board, girls were told to fuck off but now every thread were a "girl" expresses her problems gets hundreds of replies.
Tell normies to FUCK OFF
Tell women to FUCK OFF
GET THE FUCK OFF OUR BOARD
>"you can never change past X age" is just another loser line of thinking.
nah, it's just science. Most of your personality develops in the first four years, after that it's just bits and pieces.
sure, you can pretend to change. You can act different. But inside, you will always be the same person. If you are depressed, you will always be depressed. If you hate yourself, you will always hate yourself. If you have autism, you will always have autism. No amount of well-wishing and effort can make your genes and psychological development go away.
> Remember your ancestors all trusted their instincts too, and as a result of that, you exist.
Our ancestors lived in patriarchal societies where marriages were arranged by families or by the village. We didn't have women following their ditzy impulses and cad culture then.
>I completely sat on my ass and let life pass me by and now I have nothing to show for it. How do I meet girls?
You can start by not being a loser. You sound like your life is broken, fix that.
>completely opposite our instincts
maybe this is true for you guys, I guess I'm so used to being more confident that this kind of thing doesn't occur to me. If your instincts with girls is to stay silent, don't touch them at all and avoid eye contact, yes, do the EXACT opposite of your instincts.
honestly just find an activity two people could do together to get to know each other. go karting, bowling, going for a walk, exploring a place together like a museum or amusement park or something, or just the boring ass coffee date. avoid movie dates for first date, because you barely get to know her.
and make sure you do things like:
>make strong eye contact when you talk to her
>hold her hands, make physical contact with her
>say something to her to make her feel beautiful, compliment her hair or dress or whatever, but don't SMOTHER her in compliments
not really man, even ugly ass guys like Steve Buscemi get women interested in them for their charisma and talent. looks count, yes, but even an ugly man who has some confidence, talent and charisma can charm a woman. sometimes women I'm friends with will tell me after they've slept with a man they think, "he was not good looking at all... but he was just so charming!" there's still hope even for the uggos, you can't alter your face without surgery, but cultivating a personality is something you can do yourself.
completely defeatist. There are adults with Asperger's married sometimes to non-Asperger's people. If you hate yourself, you CAN change. They have clinics and treatment for depressed people BECAUSE it can be treated and you CAN over time (with help) adapt to a more positive, constructive style of thinking.
if you believe you'll always fail, you will.
even if this were true most of the time (in many cultures, it isn't), your forefathers still had to step up to the plate and court this woman. he still had other dudes to compete with. In the modern day because of feminism women have more options and rights, which is good because when you do find a woman who likes you for you, chances are she'll be more happy with herself emotionally (and sexually more excitable because she's more confident in herself), which translates into a happier relationship.
feminism has definitely made women more intelligent and adventurous than the older generations of boring, uneducated, inexperienced stay at home housewives. I actually support feminism because it's clearly had a positive effect on women.
>wah let us cry and circlejerk alone in peace
you guys need someone to give you a taste of a reality from time to time. at the very least I'm trying to offer you guys some advice to become better with women, but if you'd prefer to just cry all day about how you're permanently a virgin, just hide the thread or something.
try to talk about her more, make quips about the things she tells you, try to bring up something funny you read on the news or whatever. girls love talking about themselves, how they're feeling, their beliefs, their sense of style, etc.
but really, girls like to talk. you should know this. they appreciate a man who's a good listener.
try to get her to talk about herself a lot, she'll enjoy that, it will make her feel special. the man is almost always the less talkative person in any relationship.
>why wont you let me shit on your board?
Sorry bro, these people are here to vent about their day and share experiences, not hear "advice" from pretentious pricks like you who cant even empathize with them. They should be taking advice from robots who made it if anything and even then that's not what the board is for.
Kindly fuck off,
Signed a normalfag
because they can't try
their whole life is filled with rejection, humiliation, failure - doesn't matter what caused it
after so many negative experiences it's logical that they're won't try anything that will bring those feelings and past memories back
>makes an honest effort to socialize with and flirt with the opposite sex
Explain to me what this actually means. You think friendless shutins just show up at bars and strike up conversations with random people? Normies don't even do shit like that.
I'm the hearing impaired baldie from earlier.
Okay. so your answer is be confident and charismatic.
How can I be charismatic when I have to ask people to repeat themselves over and over until they just get annoyed by me? How can I be confident when I can never be sure I heard a person correctly?
How can I expect a girl to be attracted to inferior genetics?
My problems are all unfixable things. If I could fix them, I wouldn't be whining.
get a hearing aid, find a girl who's ok with your disability and your baldness. some women find bald men sexy, contrary to what all the long haired girly faggots will lead you to believe. Also just work on yourself, become more fit. Show her that even if you have difficulty hearing, you can clearly take care of yourself and carry yourself confidently.
Would you rather eat rotten food, or starve? I chose starvation, here is the story on why I am a 22 year old virgin, and why I will be a virgin at 23 and probably become a wizard...
I've had 3 opportunities at actual relationships but couldn't keep them for more than a few weeks each. Was nearly cucked twice, or probably was and they didn't tell me everything. So now I'm not interested in relationships anymore.
Coincidentally I've also had 3 opportunities at casual sex, but I didn't go through with any of them. The first was my best friend's girlfriend. The second was a fat chick I met on OKCupid, the third were two random girls I met in a sleazy bar while out drinking. I didn't feel ready to lose my virginity in a threesome and I was afraid of getting an STD. I didn't want to have sex with any of them.
Technically a virgin by choice. Technically. But as I said it's really like a choice between eating rotten food or starving. I have it good compared to most robots. I have good enough looks and fashion sense, enough intelligence to tell when a girl likes me, enough courage to ask her out and kiss her, but I'm still not good enough for any woman that's not ugly/fat/crazy which all of the above were.
I was a 22 year old virgin. Lost it in 2006. Fooled around a bit the prior year with someone I was orbiting.
I generally agree with what you're saying, and I didn't put myself out there much due to hating bars and going out in general.
HOWEVER, spergs these days have no excuse with the ubiquity of online dating. I'm robotty as fuck and can get laid without going out and I'm sure more failed normos on here can do it too.
>chances are she'll be more happy with herself emotionally (and sexually more excitable because she's more confident in herself), which translates into a happier relationship.
I disagree. Women take the shape of whatever vessel they're in. I'd rather have a woman be my wife and forced to do so by social pressure than a "liberated" woman whose happiness is so fleeting and arbitrary that she'll divorce me and ruin my life or no reason 5 years down the road.
>feminism has definitely made women more intelligent and adventurous than the older generations of boring, uneducated, inexperienced stay at home housewives. I actually support feminism because it's clearly had a positive effect on women.
You must be trolling or insane. Feminism has done nothing but ruin women. Women were more intelligent, demure and cultured before. They would usually learn to sing and play the piano, cook and rear children. "Adventurous" women with the "experience" of going to bars every other night and riding 20+ cocks doesn't really add anything to my life, sorry. Women these days are bitchy, entitled and mean. They need to be put back in line.
I learned some pua and had a one night stand.
Have been with a few other girls since then, I still have a bunch of issues to overcome, and haven't had what I'd consider a 'relationship' yet.
The only way I could get a girlfriend is if I settle for a literal 2/10. I'm a 4/10 and I'm not interesting or socially capable enough to get another 4/10.
And I'd rather just be alone than be with someone I feel no attraction to.
I talk to and hang with more girls thab guys... Alot of hugging, touching and openly talking about sexuality. However, Ive never even kissed a girl. I'm not whining about friendzone because I never actually made the move. So for your question OP, yes, some of us are literally cowards who wait for the girl to fall for us.
>paying for bowling, movies, drinks and food
Holy shit OP step up your game