Interview questions you hate

>where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Shugouablox

i'm a reatard

>why is there a ten year gap on your resume

I can never stick to anything.

>Why should we hire you?

Because it's a shitty manual labor job that could be done just as well by a frittata or a trained chimpanzee and there's fuck nobody else that I see waiting out there for an interview. Do you really need me to give you a fucking reason beyond "I'm broke and willing to put up with your shit?"

>so why do you want to work in retail?
I fucking don't I'm only here because I'm broke and my parents are gonna kick me out if I don't get a job

>Interview questions you hate
all of them

>>25562302

>What was the most stressful thing that has happened to you?

This is a real question that they ask.
I gotta tell them I cant answer that shit and they really shouldnt ask someone that.
Not to sound like a Tumblrina but you can trigger someone like that.

Interviewers are usually normalfags that equate the most stressful thing ever as being away from their GF for a week.

>>25562302
>Write an algorithm to find the shortest path to a node in a graph
Software interviews suck...

>>25562633

>Because we had a liberal President for 8 years who encouraged you to not hire me because I'm white

>>25562633
This. That question had me mumbling dumb excuses each time until one day I stopped caring and answered straight into the fucker's eyes : "I was severly depressed and on the verge of suicide". Oh how it felt great to witness him blushing like a fucking tomato, not knowing what to say next. BITCH !
Had another interview a few days later with a very cool guy who's only questions were : do you want to work and when do you want to start ? Still on this job. Typing this from my office.

>>25562302
>>what is your biggest flaw?

I don't know any other languages besides English.

>how are you working to improve this?

I am taking Spanish lessons online/practicing with my neighbor who is from Honduras.

Bam, it's that easy OP. I made up all of this on the spot. I actually know French and I don't have a neighbor from Honduras.

>try to sell me this thing
made up a story on the spot about how I buy this shit every week and how it saved some family get together. The guy was disgusted that I would lie to him and I wasn't hired.

>name a time when ____
I've been a self hating NEET for two years, I can't remember a time I've been a positive force for anything.

>>25562302
My dick

completely original comment nigger nigger nigger

>>25562302
>Why should we hire you ?

Every fucking time.IT'S YOUR JOB TO DECIDE AS TO WHY YOU SHOULD HIRE ME.

>>25562302
>I find it really hard to answer stupid questions without being sarcastic.

>>25563088
You should have called him a faggot when you left if that actually happened

>>25562302
did babby died??

My skin, it's all pale and bumpy

My lack of self confidence

>>25562302
Why the fuck are there even questions for fucking shitty mcjobs?

>trying to make shit pleb jobs all formal and shit to give the illusion that not just any moron with two thumbs can do it

I'll never understand why interviews are the way they are. I guess they show that the candidate is willing to play ball and say all the "proper" things, but wouldn't it be better to use the opportunity to actually have them answer honestly and fucking learn about then?

What is your greatest weakness?
>My greatest weakness is that I'm a perfectionist and work too hard! c:

Woooow, it's fucking nothing. Give me someone who's upfront and honest over some generic memorizing ass-kisser drone any day of the week.

>go for accounting job interview at big company
>chat with interviewer for a few minutes first.
>nice guy. we have a lot in common.
>starts interview. go over my resume
>he realizes I know my shit and have good background
>looks at me and says "I hate to do this but I have these fucking questions HR makes me ask everyone"
>prepared for the usual list
>"tell you what... take these home, write out answers and send it back to me tomorrow so I can recommend you for the job"
>hired two days later

>>25563341
>did babby died??

No but did give up the location of an Al-Qaeda cell.

>>25562436
Presumably using this job as a stepping stone in my career goals while also leaving this place in a better condition than when I arrived.

>employer proceeds to get on their knees and give such good brain you can understand how they went to college.

>apply for a job
>lie about everything
>blow smoke up the manager's ass about how i'm inspired and want to work my way up to their level
>hired on the spot 90% of the time

not hard boys.

>applied to be a fucking dishwasher
>DISH. WASHER.
>interviewer is an uptight middle aged indian woman
>asks me a shit ton of questions about my past and personality
>finally my education comes up
>tell her i have a GED
>she pauses, and says "so you're 19 and all you've done is get a GED?"
>stand up, tell her to go fuck herself and spit on her face
>run
>been a neet for the last year

fuck jobs. If you have to have a fucking degree from oxford to wash dishes I'd rather just be homeless.

>>25562302
I'm extremely fucking lazy and the only reason I graduated uni was because of my father who pushed me everyday to wake up, study and other similar shit. If it wasn't for him I would have been a NEET

File: REEEEEEEEEE.png (91KB, 500x422px) Image search: [Google]

91KB, 500x422px

>tell me about yourself

You should get beaten for saying this to a potential hire.

>>25564885
>lie about everything
back ground check? references?

>>25562633
I spent my time gaining skills and being a part of some failed startup projects. Although I love building things from the ground up it was a good lesson to show me how sometimes you should go with a stabler option.

Or something along those lines. Seriously there's a plethora of decent "excuses" you can use.

"Holy shit is that thing real!??!"