>>25557133 Nah man I've decided ages ago that I'm going to kill myself and I've fully accepted that I definitely won't be around this time next year. I'm going to give seeing a therapist and getting fit a chance. If that doesn't fix me, then fuck it, what's the difference.
>>25557340 I have been living with this exact mentality for months, probably years with this point. Soon, the stuff you enjoy just have less and less of an impact and you get more and more disconnected with it. I mean, there are moments, like when I spend time with my niece, that make it worth it, but that shit is always fleeting.
>>25557517 Not really, but the mentality of drinking to escape my mind is there. I could easily become an alcoholic if I lived on my own, I think.
I know I have a disorder of some sort, because there are times where my actual fucking personality can shine through and that guy is so optimistic and has so much to contribute, but he's drowned by all the vicious chemicals in my brain. That make sense?
>>25557599 Sounds an awful lot like bipolarity. I've experienced something similar, but in the end I just decided to let the negative part kill off the positive, at least in public settings. I think an awful lot of personality disorders can be controlled to some extend.
There used to be a time where I'd really love to be an upbeat, socially enjoyable person, but whenever I did feel that way, just a single negative thought had to enter my mind in order to plummet back to negativity.
I can live with it now, though. I just accepted the fact that I'm supposed to be like this, and it has helped me a lot to see some purpose in life, rather than trying to cling to social success.
>>25557709 I don't know man, I think I'm just going to have to see a therapist at this point because I can't get any further on my own. I see what you're saying and I'm glad that you're beyond that point, but fuck is it hard to get there.
>>25557781 A therapist isn't a bad idea, just make sure your therapist emphasizes on talking sessions. Most therapists will just prescribe you medication 10 minutes into your first and only session. I've been prescribed medication for multiple mental issues by these exact types of therapists, and all they did was make matters worse.
And yes, it is hard to overcome an existential crisis that edges towards nihilism. I promise you that there is very much reason to keep breathing, even if (and I agree with this) life itself is absolutely pointless. If you aren't suffering every day, physically and financially, you may as well stay alive due to the lack of knowledge of what death is exactly.
>>25557878 >Most therapists will just prescribe you medication 10 minutes into your first and only session
This is fucking EXACTLY what is happening to me. I can't even call the people I'm going to therapists because they're not doing any fucking therapy, just being really flippant about any of my concerns and throwing medication at me.
I 100% get what you're saying about living for the sake if it and I can handle that most of the time, but once a depression sets in, that shit just crumbles.
To be honest man, I just want to relax and watch some dumb shit on youtube at this point. I can't go through this mentally exhausting shit any more tonight. Thanks for your help and best of luck.
>>25557943 Good luck with your future endeavors, then. You may just have to be your own therapist. Try to find as many perspectives to see life through, which is easily done by talking to other people. At some point there has to be another depressed nihilist with a good view on life that appeals to you, right?
Enjoy your youtube.
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