who else is /deadinside/ here I feel like I am watching myself

So how old are you , 18 ?

>>25538922
22, 23 in two weeks time

>>25538937
So what about life has you so down, if you wish to elaborate.

>>25538884
>spend hours staring at the mould on my wall
Mold huh? I have a gaping hole in my ceiling that has gotten worse over the course of 2 years.
Leaking when it rains and having woodsplinters and plaster crumble on to my bed.

Sometimes I stare up at it waiting for it to crush me one day like Donny Darko.
Do you ever have an edge moment and think these anomalies in your room are directly connected to your state of mind?
Like an allegory of your failing mental health?

>>25538884
Tomorrow is my birthday. Outside of work, I do nothing. I either wander the streets or the woods and explore. Sometimes ill just sit on a bench somewhere for hours not moving. Sometimes I just hang out outside of random places drinking and smoking.

When I go home the silence almost hurts. I just play the same songs over and over again for hours, never learning any new ones. Sometimes I just lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling for hours.

>>25539037
something akin to this. i'm from a harbor town thats pretty boring, but at night i'd go to the end of this park where you could see city lights and shit, and smoke a cigar and just hang by myself. pretty dam relaxing.

more and more in the last few years i've been going to movies alone, pubs alone (there are ppl there, but i dont really talk to anyone), biking long distances alone, etc.

>>25538884
Not quite yet, but I'm getting there.

Although I stopped drinking and I'm escaping the NEET life in a little while, so maybe it'll get better.

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>>25538978
It's too expensive to get my life back on track, I don't want to be a wagecuck but I also want to do something with my life, I feel like I am stuck in purgatory

>>25539001
>Do you ever have an edge moment and think these anomalies in your room are directly connected to your state of mind?
I don't think of anything, I just stare at it blankly

>>25539037
I sometimes try and do that but I live in a city and I hate being around crowds of people

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>>25538884
>mfw humans are just insects to me

>>25539139
Blank is an option.

>>25538884

was dead inside for the last 4 years until i met a girl who brought me out of my shell

unfortunately she decided my time was up and i wasn't exciting anymore and is pretty indifferent towards me now

feels bad because even though i am a bit more attractive than her, i still care about her even though i am 'moving on'.

i had to quit smoking weed because it would make me think too much.

being alive isn't always fun. sometimes its good to shut off and hermit.

hopefully tomorrow will be a better day

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>>25539152
I've also been looking at theads like >>>/wg/thread/6423014 in hope that I will feel a spurt of energy but alas, nothing

>>25539233
>>>/wg/6423014
uhh?

>>25538884
How did your life change ?

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>>25538937
Twice your age
You don't even know what death is

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>>25539769
Damn gramps, do you look like hide-it harold?

>>25538884

I can't connect to others. It feels like I'm wearing a large condom over my personality just to avoid hurting others.

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>>25539880
No more like our future god-king tbqhf4m4l4m