I'm looking for a practice bf, someone I can have a relationship with, and emotional devotion and commitment to, without sex. I'm okay with kissing and cuddling, but nothing beyond.
Would you be willing to be someone's practice bf if she was a virgin? Also, what should I look for in a practice bf, and what are red flags to avoid?Robots, you gave some good advice last time, so if you're willing to share more, I'm all ears.
>I'm looking for a practice bf, someone I can have a relationship with, and emotional devotion and commitment to, without sex
It's called a beta orbiter, they're in high supply with the rise of internet feminism.
I'm literally not joking.
So there's some important info you would need to share if meeting someone online:
>a way to contact you
For a practice bf that meets your needs, the most important thing is that he be ok without sex. I don't really know how you'd confirm something like that, but you'd want to be reasonably sure that they won't ditch you after a little while due to sexual frustration. The rest are all personal to you. What sort of aspects of a relationship are you trying to practice? Is it generally trying to talk to someone one on one? Is it going on actual dates? There are a lot of questions to ask yourself and your answers will limit who you can consider asking out as a practice bf.
lol fuck off bitch, but be careful. Girls manipulate guys to get things and guys manipulate girls to get sex. One minute you're hanging out with Mr. handsome and understanding and next thing you know you're drunk and getting fucked in the back of his poniac G5
I wouldn't mind this with someone who didn't browse r9k.
My sex drive is pretty low and I'm tired of daydreaming about having that female companion that wants to do stuff/cuddle. I'm tired of waking up alone, this fucking sucks.
you get angry at women because you gave them more expectation then you hope for. when you take the redpill you realize they don't meet up to your standards of having the capacity of loving you as deeply and as strongly as man can.
I know you mean well anon, but I don't need protection from/warning about 'the fedoras'. I've been the target of lots of insults in other threads, which I find more upsetting than anything. Even then, I get to choose to go onto 4chan, knowing full well I'm entering myself into that type of environment.
I have a pretty thick skin, but thank you for your concern!
Just advice! Online (non romantic) relationships have burned me in the past, and I think part of it was the format. Meeting someone in person makes it easier to bond, imo. There are people I've gotten to know that I wouldn't have thought to talk to, if I'd met them online. Similarly, there are people who I've talked to online who I liked very much, who turned out to be people I was incompatible with outside of the internet.
I think that's my issue. I'm naturally pretty shy and submissive and reserved, to the point where most guys assume I'm not interested (since my shyness means I go kind of stiff and avoid eye contact and forget to smile). It's easy to be 'upfront' with people I'm not interested in at all, or people I know well, but I'm caught between not knowing how to indicate interest, and trying not to accidentally indicate interest to someone and lead them on.
Well, I'd rather bypass 'dating' as much as possible. I just want to find someone willing to be my practice bf, someone who isn't picky and wouldn't mind being taken care of for a while.
Robots value virginity and have experience with celibacy. Additionally, most of you tend to keep to yourselves, and not have much dating experience. I'm in a similar situation (no dating experience, not super social) which is why I don't feel I belong on that board.
Believe it or not, I value what you guys have to say, even in other threads, because it seems more honest to me. Even when people are angry or hateful or dismissive, I appreciate the honesty, over pandering.
I think that conflicts a bit with your "no online" policy. It's not impossible to find someone, but your shyness combined with the general limits of meeting people in real life is gonna reduce your chances.
I'm not looking for a provider in a practice bf. I'm looking for someone to help me be a better woman, through experience caring for a man. Learning that dynamic, making someone happy, having somebody to invest my time in productively.
>I'm looking for someone to help me be a better woman, through experience caring for a man. Learning that dynamic, making someone happy, having somebody to invest my time in productively.
You sound like a keeper, so I'll give you a word of advice:
The greatest friend can make the best partner. Someone who truly loves you will wait until marriage, while the ones trying to score pussy will push and push and push to try to get you to break. Don't break.
Loners and outcasts, or overly paranoid people, are flawed but they are extraordinarily loyal. You can find a cute outcast and doll him up easily.
The dynamic for male-female interaction, men are normally supposed to enact affection, but as a woman you're free to initiate with eye contact, smiling, moving your hand into his and grasping it, cuddling next to him during a scary movie, asking him questions about his hobbies, surprising him with presents during the holidays (even if they're inexpensive), and when it comes down to marriage, you can focus on getting dirty in bed. By the way, since you're waiting until after marriage, you will spend some time trying to figure out both of your kinks in bed.
But, to be honest, you should invest time into yourself before you invest time into others. And a 'practice bf', since you're waiting until after marriage, would constitute any potential boyfriend. All of your boyfriends could be considered practice boyfriends until marriage.
Think the loners and outcasts are extremely loyal is a meme. I'd leave people without much of a second thought. Then again I'm fucked up in the head. Just saying people tend to be loners for a reason. Shy people still make friends.
>I'd leave people without much of a second thought.
>Then again I'm fucked up in the head.
PTSD, Schizoid, or Anti-social disorder?
Normal (and I mean that in a very vague sense of the word) loners and outcasts who don't suffer from extreme issues like that are truly loyal. Especially loners with autism.
Knew a girl who was a bit of a loner and she blocked me multiple times on multiple media outlets for some frivolous reason. Turned out she had at least PTSD and potentially schizophrenia (which is why she didn't exactly fit the dialogue).
>How would I evaluate him for compatibility?
Talk about things you like. What movies, books, music, art do you like? What're your favorite hobbies? What do you think of this, of that?
Simple stuff. You're trying to find someone you can live with and enjoy their company. It's not an employer but a companion, like a pet but much more complex.
It's probably anti-social or schizoid. I don't really talk to anyone or try to talk to anyone. I have formed relationships and just gave up them at some point, didn't really affect me losing all my friends. No way I have PTSD, I don't believe My school forced me to get tested for mental disorders, but I tried to fake the results. Not sure if the psychologist caught on though. I lie pretty naturally, not always blatantly. Could also be BPD, have a family history never got tested though because I think it will fuck me.
>But, to be honest, you should invest time into yourself before you invest time into others. And a 'practice bf', since you're waiting until after marriage, would constitute any potential boyfriend. All of your boyfriends could be considered practice boyfriends until marriage.
I have been/am investing in myself. Something I've noticed is that I enjoy pleasing people more than I like doing things just for myself. I used to think I was selfish, or tried to convince myself I was, because it made me feel 'tough'. In reality, I enjoy everything more when I can share it. This includes things like dressing up/making myself look nice, and things like cooking. I know how to do these things, and I don't completely slack on them, but my happiness and fulfillment from going above and beyond the basics comes from the knowledge that it can bring positivity to someone else.
Most girls give validation without actually thinking/feeling/meaning it most of the time. I have a friend who, during one of the first times we hung out outside of school, said that she needed to bring me shopping with her because she knew I would be honest about what looked good on her. Similarly, I appreciate men for their honesty and straightforwardness. A practice bf, as opposed to someone who was trying to get in my pants, would be more inclined to be honest with me I believe, and help me improve.
Sorry for blathering on, but what you said overall really resonated with me, and shed light on a few things I was unaware/unsure of. Thank you so, so much for taking the time to write it, anon!
We won't have sex... but can you eat tons of burritos or gassy foods and let me lay head across your stomach while you gurgle, belch and fart?
>A practice bf, as opposed to someone who was trying to get in my pants, would be more inclined to be honest with me I believe, and help me improve.
Bingo. I'm also
>Most girls give validation without actually thinking/feeling/meaning it most of the time.
this is where a lot of girls end up with the wrong guy, and I view sex as a more extreme form of validation for some women. Especially when a guy tries to Jedi Mind Trick her with the," Oh is it because you don't like me?" line.
If you have a steam, I wouldn't mind giving you advice or small talking. Maybe you enjoy the same video games, maybe not. You sound like a reader and you're very articulate about how you phrase things. Good trait to have.
Where on the west coast? I'm married so I wouldn't care about doing any really intimate stuff with you, plus I am happily attached so I would not get obsessive over you. My wife would be okay with it.
I'm very private about my bodily functions and am actually the butt of a running joke among my friends, since they know if they burp out loud they're likely to get a reaction and scolding from me, since I'm more conscious about it than they are.
I don't think I'm the girl for you anon, sorry!
Oh no, I'm sorry, I'd prefer not to meddle with the life of a married couple. I'm not the type that could mentally distance myself from the fact that the man had another woman, even if he was a good man, and his woman consented. Thank you for the offer, though!
>I'd love your advice, but sadly I don't have a steam account as I don't play videogames.
I suddenly feel like a man-child again.
I don't have a particular genre preference, I've read books of all different kinds of genres, and enjoyed them. Currently, I'm on a philosophy kick, probably partially because I made a New Year's resolution to read the Harvard Classics.
What's the last good book you finished, anon? Any recommendations?
Oh no, I had no intention of making you feel badly about it! I was just explaining, because it's fairly common for gamers to be on steam, right? If I came off as condescending in any way, I apologize.
>If I came off as condescending in any way, I apologize.
You weren't, it's just a feeling that happens when you realize
you've devoted over 4,000 hours of your existence to virtual reality
If you want any more advice, feel free.
Just finished the seven volume Decline and Fall and before that did the 13 volume Golden Bough.
For a quick read that gives you a real glimpse of what /s4s would be doing in the 1800s, read "the innocents abroad" by Mark Twain. Its him and some buddys running around Europe/the holyland trolling it up.
I've devoted two or three times that to fictional reality, and I don't even want to think about how much time I've wasted on junk-news websites. I don't even have social media, but somehow, the gossip finds me if I'm not careful to filter it out.
I think videogames can be a positive thing, if they're a hobby rather than an escape. Reading novels is a hobby, while browsing news articles I didn't seek out, is generally how I procrastinate. Honestly, the immersive experience of videogames can be therapeutic, my cousins like to watch me play their violent videogames because my button smashing actually worked to keep my character alive.
As for advice, I'd love to know how I should conduct myself to make a guy feel good around me. I have some bad habits, like correcting people, and teasing, that sometimes rub people the wrong way. I forget sometimes that men tend to be more literal creatures, as my female friends tend to take almost nothing personally, as they can tell my exaggerated joking, from sarcasm, from truth. However, in some instances, with some guys, looking back I seem to have struck a nerve or made them uncomfortable when my intent was to make them laugh/feel good. I don't think that that's any fault of theirs and I want to make the effort to be better, is there anything I can do specifically that might otherwise be overlooked?
Wow, you have an impressive dedication to historical study, I could learn a lesson in patience from you. Thank you so much for the recommendations anon!
How was Decline and Fall? As I've gotten older (as in, not in grade school where the history education is lacking) I've found that well-written history texts are just as captivating as any novel. Still, the density of comprehensive history texts makes them intimidating. Did you find it worth the read?
>I think videogames can be a positive thing, if they're a hobby rather than an escape. Reading novels is a hobby, while browsing news articles I didn't seek out, is generally how I procrastinate. Honestly, the immersive experience of videogames can be therapeutic, my cousins like to watch me play their violent videogames because my button smashing actually worked to keep my character alive.
True, I use it for both. You sound like someone that would be fun to play games with.
>As for advice, I'd love to know how I should conduct myself to make a guy feel good around me.
Try to avoid negative things. See the world as in three formats: negative (which drains) neutral (which remains the same) and positive (which is constructive and improves).
Depending on the person, a shallow person will be upset by any amount of teasing or correction. If you do it appropriately, you average person won't be affected by it or they may take your advice to heart. Positive reinforcement is very valuable when it comes to relationships, just be sure it's 100% genuine when you state it.
For example: I actually do think you're a keeper and you're very articulate.
Enjoying somebody's company is a very vibe-like thing. It sounds very pseudo-science like metaphysics but it's true. Communication is just what you want to get across.
Also, for being humorous, you should watch more comedians. Stand-up comedians tell some excellent one-liners and watching some comedy can inject some creative enterprise in your joke-making process.
I also don't have any social media except steam, which is why I asked. Wish I could add you somehow to keep in contact because you seem really cool and down-to-earth
Gibbon has some problems with facts in some situations, has a bias against some more than others, but overall was a great read. If you do decline and fall make sure to follow it up with something more current for corrections using more recent data. "A history of Rome" podcast is pretty good in this area and I have found it to be pretty accurate.
You will see how modern politics is a mimic of the past. Can be kind of depressing. The welfare tactics of the left are like those of the ancient men looking to consolidate power by making the people dependent. The tactics of the right are like those of the generals looking to consolidate power by military conquest but spreading the empire too thin. It is a pretty nice comparison.
Anyways, I need to get to bed and spend some time with my wife. It wont happen but I would love to talk to you more about ancient literature. Have fun in your travels.