Anybody else treat their life like a game?
I have no interest or hobbies, I don't care for any people in this world. Myself included.
I'm 22, personality disorder af and unloved, but I'm very well adapted to hiding my feels and my pretending to be various types of people.
What I've decided to do is instead of just ending it all, pretend I'm playing the Sims.
See how far I can get in this world coming from a nothing childhood and a broken home. So far I've got a degree and a job in that field;
I'm trying to minimise my costs to a bare minimum see how much money I can accumulate and then see where I go from there, I'll keep you all updated.
I'm doing a life long social experiment basically.
but you're human. and as human you have free will and a soul. treat life as an experiment, but make it one that has its basis in being true to yourself. in seeing how far you can go. in how great you can become in yourself. in how much you can live up to your own vision for your own self!
not in self-denial. you are human. and a man at that. the past can only imprison you for as long as you lock it away in yourself out of fear. go into yourself and face it. face the shame, guilt, anger, regret, insecurity. face it all
go into your self and face your dragon.
I tried to do all that, it worked out in realising how alone I am. All I ever wanted was to be wanted. It's a shame, but I think this is the last straw.
I'm like a petulant child, kicked over the whole game with no shame screaming "I ain't playing if I can't win."
I do that too actually, it's like one big RPG to me. Working it is grinding strength and endurance, practicing instruments gives me exp, and work gives me money to spend on upgrades.
It actually works, and makes things a lot more fun.