Let's make a story.

>>1241846
A stray meteor landed in the field of flowers.

>>1241846
he sees a giant tree

>>1241846
He spontaneously combusts.

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As the knight wandered a meteor came from the heavens and landed at the base a tree! But this wasn't any normal tree, this tree was larger then the knight had ever seen!

>>1241846

>>1241851
>>1241852
A streak of fire tore through the autumn sky, disappearing over the horizon and towards the Great Tree.

>>1241870
>>1241864
Oops.

Welp, let's gtfo because forest fires are some crazy shit.

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>>1241876
The tree burts into flames and the fire quickly spreads!
The knight, not being braindead decides to run away but as he does...

>>1241864
Suddenly something rises from the crater.

>>1241888
>>1241892
And the thing gives chase to him.

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The knight looks behind him tok see a demon rushing towards him!
It chatters ferociously and raises a scythe made from the very flames of the forest above it's head and prepares to attack him!

>>1241903
The knight shrieks for a time-out as he runs away, blubbering prayers.

The knight falls on his ass and says "W-wait! Time out! By the divines this is madness!"
However nothing happens.
The demon is going to bring down it's scythe any moment now....

>>1241941
However the demon slips, and impants it's large breasts into the knight's face. It turns out it's actually a demoness!

The demonness then jumps back and slowly backs up out of embarrassment.
You are stunned by how smooth they were.

(Egh sorry about that guys. My coffee is losing it's effect.)

>>1241966
Blush, hold eye contact, and cue love music like a cheesy movie.

The demonness looks at the knight with both anger and passion.
A violin solo is heard in the distance.

>>1241963
the demoness starts talking about this isn't supposed happen this way" I can't even be a good harbinger of death" then she gets depressed

>>1241974
The comments that she might not be a good one, but she sure is a cute one.

(I swear to christ if this becomes a fucking anime quest)

>>1241981
>"I'm not cute baka!"

>>1241981
T-that wasn't our plan.

While the demoness is contemplating the possibility of a future with the knight she thinks she's falling in love with the more time she spends near him, the knight slugs her in the face and runs.

The demonness walks away and mutters "Can't even kill a knight correctly...."
The knight is still sitting on his ass like a dull person.

>>1241994
SUDDENLY A PALADIN APPEARS AND SMITES THE DEMON

>>1241981
The knights sword starts glowing for some reason.

>>1241998
Better yet, his "sword"

File: Mercenary For Hire.gif (65KB, 288x288px) Image search: [Google]

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All of a sudden the knights sword begins to glow....
While this happens a wandering paladin stabs the demonness in the back and kills her instantly

>>1242000
Boi.

>>1242008
Boi.

The knight slays the paladin in mortal combat to avenge his 1-minute waifu. Then goes about his day as nothing happened.

>>1242008
The paladin takes off his helmet to reveal a cute trap.

(This fucking thread.)

>>1242021
Well what were you planning? I'd be happy to oblige to a more serious story-line.

>>1242021
maybe make suggestions based on the highest roll 1d20 to keep order

>>1242031
one suggestion per ID

>>1242028
(Don't worry I'm okay with this but it became an ecchi anime so quickly)

The paladin takes off his helmet to reveal a feminine face and says "Good sir knight art thou still living?

>>1242049
Nay, for our fair knight is actually an undead, risen from his lonesome grave by some unknown force and now wandering the land in search of purpose.

>>1242049
stand Up and ask the paladins name

The knight does not speak at all, He is trying to remember how to speak common.
The paladin looks at the knight confused.
"Good sir knight mayhapst the demon has given you an brain injury?"

>>1242058
"An injury to my groin, perhaps you can examine it."

>>1242062
"Recovering from the shock. Just give me a moment."

Remembering a couple of words the knight stands and speaks "Give me a moment...."
The paladin looks at the knight with his gentle blue eyes and says "As long as you need good sir."

>>1242078
"Are you a girl or a boy I can't tell." the knight asks

>>1242078
The knight has realized that the meeting with the demoness had an effect after all! He has become omnisexual. As his first order of business as an omnisexual is to make this fair paladin with fair skin strip.

"You must have had a tough day, perhaps it would be best if you took off that heavy armor."

>>1242078
"Am I still being influenced by the demon? Do you jest being a knight girl?"

(I keep imagining some old motherfucker telling this to a kid in a tavern.)

>>1242094
>SEE HERE LITTLE JIMMY, I MET THIS SUCCUBUS WITH BIG GOZONGAS AND SHE SHOVED THEM INTO MAH FACEHOLE, BUT THE SOME PALADIN DICKWAD SHOWED UP AN KILLED ER, BUT HE WAS PRETTY CUTE SO IT'S OKAY

The knight says "A-art thou a f-femknight?"
He feels oats begin to rise out his satchel.
"T-thine armour looketh heavy...."
The knight gulps.
"M-mayhaps thine w-would t-take it off?"
The paladin looks at the knight and puts his helmet back on.
"I'm taken"

>>1242116
"Guess I'll have to make due with the corpse."

The best part about being omnisexual is that all fetishes are your fetish.

>>1242116
"I see, an oath of celibacy. As expected of a paladin. Who do you follow good sir....?"

"O-oh... W-who do you follow?"
The paladin turns around and looks at the knight.
"Can you just not speak to me?"

>>1242140
"Forgive me, I do not recall the events prior to this."

>>1242147
KEK

The knight spills his oats everywhere.
"F-forgive me I do not recall events prior to this..."
The paladin decides to slowly walk away.
"Mhn..."

>>1242154
"The only moments I recall was the meadow, before that damnable star crashed, and the demon spawned from it. Perhaps you can help me."

>>1242166
The knight explains his predicament and uses some flashy hand movements to win the paladin over.
"Hm....No memories...."

>>1242174
Fuck the corpse.

>>1242174
"What is the year? And what realm do I stand in currently?"

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The knight asks what year and realm he's in.
The paladin looks at the knight and pulls out a map.
"This is...the one hundredth year since king lark.
"We're in the forest I don't know which one becuase I can't read."

>>1242199
snicker at the paladins Illiteracy.

>>1242199
Ask the paladin which town or fort is the closest.
Maybe we can head to a river or lake to catch a good look at our self.

>>1242199
What...what!? MY WIFE! MY CHILDREN!

Then break down in sobs.

>>1242199
>>1242210
Also, why the fuck do you have a map when you can't even read? Can you even read your holy book verses bro?

The knight quietly snicker at the paladins idiocy.
He then asks what's the closet town or lake.
"Well uh... Theres a river I passed up north, maybe that can help."

>>1242230
Ask the paladin if they mind if we tag along for the journey... until we get to a town.

The Knight asks why the paladin has a map when he can't read and if it's alright if he tags along.
"I follow the pictures dumbass! And I suppose but no funny stuff!"

>>1242230
It's like I dont even matter anymore, OP.

>>1242246
Funny stuff!? Denounce this unjustified accusations of criminal thought and accuse him of hypocrisy. He's a paladin but can't read? How the fuck does he read his litanies and verses? ow do we know he isnt an impostor?

>>1242246
Ask about the paladin's destination. And inspect yourself, checking the condition of your armor and weapon.

>>1242252
(Sorry man. I'm a bit tired so I'm just going with what I find most entertaining.)
The knight looks at the palidan and asks how he even reads holy scriptures.
He responds with "I listen to sermons on an hourly basis so I know the scriptures start to finish!"

>>1242267
if you'd like I could teach you to read but it might require you tagging along with me for some time

>>1242279
supporting, just don't stab me with that holy sword

>>1242267
It's alright.

>>1242279
Supporting.

>>1242267
"I suppose we should get on the road then if we want to make progress. By the way, you mentioned you were taken, would you mind telling me about them?"

The knight suggets that he teaches the paladin to read while they travel together.
The paladin says "Hrm...Well...Alright, but when I learn to read I'm gonna plot our courses from now on."

>>1242306
The Paladin's codpiece glows like our sword did

>>1242306
sure but where exactly are you heading, just curious that's all

>>1242300
He was "taken" by the Head Monk at the monastery where he trained

>>1242309
Support!

>>1242306
Quickly assess what we have on our persons.

The knight looks at the map.
Remembering that a river is up north he determines that he's near...
(Apparently I can't post the map twice.)

>>1242324
just put a dot on it in paint

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After some quick thinking you discover that you are in Druss woods!

>>1242342
Let's loot the succubus and head to the nearest city. Prospect the most affordable inn and wenches, so we can introduce our friend to the pleasures of the flesh.

(Any of you brave gents willimg to take my mantle? I'm too tired to continue.)

>>1242360
You can put this on hold, and continue tomorrow. Just give us a time and day.

>>1242360
I would but the premise is too chaotic and somewhat inane. I mean a trap paladin, a demented knight, and what the hell is going on?

>>1242377
So this.

>>1242383
Alright.
I'll try and make sense of the story tommarow if this is still up.

>>1242351
Just take the whole body, I'm sure it have some "uses".

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>>1242342
stop and ask for directions

Meanwhile, as they travel, little do they know that the demoness is still alive and well. Wounded both in body and in pride, but still alive. She secretly follows the two, swearing vengeance upon the paladin for stealing her new husbando--i mean her prey.