A Flordia man suffocated to death after having sex with pet anaconda.

>>135549579
Weird shit happens in Florida, man.

>>135549579
pro tip : people who own snakes as pets are always mentally ill insecure fucks

>>135549579
It's the heat I tell ya

>>135549579

I always said relationships were constricting.

>Florida man

Haha. Yes :)

>>135549579

RIP florida man

you died how you lived, batshit

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>>135549579
Probably has spic in him, so no real lost.

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Never change florida

>>135549703
Underrated

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>“I knew he was into bestiality and erotic asphyxiation but I never thought it would go so wrong,” explained his friend in tears to reporters.

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>>135549871
Kek

>>135549579
Wow, that's a new one.

>>135549871

That's pretty hardcore

>>135549579

I think I've seen someone post a webm related to something like this

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wtf

>>135550050
post it

know that is a funny death. ill give you one kek.

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>>135549579
Oh my fucking gawd
>Florida

Yup, nothing to see here. Just the everyday life.

>>135549579
>inb4 FL's open records law is responsible, the rest of the country is just as batshit insane as we are
NO. There is something uniquely strange about America's penis. Maybe it's the in-migration of all the crazies from every other state, but it's at least 4 standard deviations outside the median of crazy found everywhere else.

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Can someone give me a diagram here? this is pretty hard to visualize I can barely get a boner

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>David Brown was also brought to the emergency room last October after an incident with a pet gerbil who had “accidentally perforated his anus and chewed through his intestinal track,” explained another family friend.
>“He once convinced me into a threesome with his German Shepherd but I wouldn’t get close to that snake, even if David proposed it several times and was really persuasive,” she remembers.
What a fucking madman

>>135549579
You guys know this is a fake news site right?

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>>135549579
>naming your state after a shitty rap
Get your shit together, America.

>>135549579
That's why I prefer dogs!

>>135549579
How do you have sex with a snake? Like he was putting his dick in the mouth of the snake or what

>>135550160
>There is something uniquely strange about America's penis

Nah senpai, it isn't unique to America. The Israelis and niggers do it too.

>>135550244
Yeah, we know. Play along.

Haha, fucking florida.

>>135550050
I think you're thinking of the one where the guy's fucking a gator.

>>135549579
>It took several hours for authorities to separate the large serpent from the young man as the victim was in “full erection” and had “deeply penetrated” the female anaconda’s genitalia according to the coroner’s report.
Da fugg

>>135550009
Lancing sharks while riding a sea turtle, FUCKING BASED!

>>135549579

>THE SOUTH WILL RISE AGAIN

RIPIP dixie trash.

:^)

if your pet is anything but a dog then you have some issues you need to deal with.

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>>135549579
>23 ft long snek
Problems were going to happen sooner or later. That's simply too much predatory noodle to deal with.
Should've just wanked off to a drawing of a snake woman instead.

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>>135549871
Kalima!

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>it's another /pol/ falls for fake news episode

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>>135549703

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>>135550511

That's a fake news site. No wonder the real world doesn't take you seriously

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>>135549703

>“I knew he was into bestiality and erotic asphyxiation but I never thought it would go so wrong,”

>>135549703
>>135549944
>>135550732
>>135550453
>>135550368
>>135550106
>>135550035
>>135550009
>>135549784

>>135549782

i'm not a specialist but i think /pol/ has cancer

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>>135549579
Florida is basically Australia's retarded cousin

>>135550846
Shut the fuck up and enjoy it, leaf.

>>135550846
Don't care, explain how you fuck a snake leaf

>>135550846
>Leaf

>>135550050
I definitely saw it on /b/ years ago. Wonder if it was the same guy, or if there's a whole subculture of snek rapists out there?

>>135550584
>Florida
>southern
Have you ever been?

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This place really does have some of the most humongous faggots on Earth residing in it.

We laugh at Onion news too you grabblers.

>>135549618
sunshinelaws copypasta.txt

stupid fucking yankees every. time.

https://www.gaybeast.com/movie/102668/snake_ass

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>>135549618

>>135551095
FIDF detected.

>Florinigger thinks he's a southern

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>>135549784

File > Import > essence_of_reddit.bin

just fucking your shit up 100% complete

click "le continue" to continue

>>135551315
i aint clicking dat shit nigga but give me a synopsis

>>135548737
>>135548782
>>135548821
>>135548890
>>135548954
>>135549007
>>135549057
>>135549120
>>135549239
>>135549443
>>135549537
>>135549665
>>135549782

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>>135551315

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>>135549579
YASSSSS

He probably had a snuff fetish and enjoyed it. Quite common in the gay/pedophile community.

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>>135551315

>gaybeast

>>135550846
I don't understand how everyone in this thread could fail to realize it. Looking at all of the other stories and there being no other source besides just that site should be a clue.

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>>135551512
>not swamperating

I honestly feel sorry for you, anon.

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>>135550236
And people say executing these insane people is bad for humanity.

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>>135549871

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>>135549703
Why do puns always get me fucking hell.

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>>135549579
Another victim to the insidious Japanese manga monster girls.

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>>135551315

>>135549871
alpha as fuck

>>135549871
Damn that's some game of thrones shit

>>135549649
This. Owning a pet snake is almost as good an indicator of batshit insanity as blue hair

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>>135551765

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>>135551315
>gaybeast

>>135550511
>Wondering now how large anaconda genitalia is comparable to human

Dammit, 4chan, these are things I should want to search for.

>>135549871
That's fake too. Even the grammar is incorrect

>>135549579
WHITE PEOPLE

>>135549579
lol

Typical nu-male millennial.

>>135551765
I want to fuck Mia.

>The young man that was an avid animal fan had a wide collection of pets ranging from dogs and cats to tarantulas, snakes, scorpions, turtles and even a baby wild hog he described himself as “extremely horny.”

GAHhahahaha

>>135549579

jews fabricate clickbait bullshit like this in order to incite racial hatred against whites.

>>135549579
His anaconda don't.

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>>135552298
>Implying

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>>135549579
He stepped on the snake, he got what was coming to him.

>>135552233
>I want to fuck Mia.
That's how it starts.
That's how it ends:
>It took several hours for authorities to separate the large serpent from the young man as the victim was in “full erection” and had “deeply penetrated” the female anaconda’s genitalia according to the coroner’s report.

>>135551967
I apologize. It's real

After his outburst, Lopez returned to the closet where his girlfriend was lying unconscious and proceeded to insert several foreign objects into the woman's vagina and anus, including a beer bottle, a flatiron for the hair and both his fists and arms up to his elbows, making Maria Nemeth bleed.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3281057/Man-admitted-police-killed-disemboweled-girlfriend-called-ex-s-sex-pleads-NOT-guilty-murder.html#ixzz4oLbW0ryi
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

>>135549703
I said to her, "you are smothering me"

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>>135549579
I love my state of florida!

>>135552465
Mah heart
Mah soul.

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>>135551315
Huh? The snake willingly went into his ass?
Surely it's reversed.

>>135552491
I don't see anything wrong with that.

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>>135549579
>It took several hours for authorities to separate the large serpent from the young man as the victim was in “full erection” and had “deeply penetrated” the female anaconda’s genitalia according to the coroner’s report.
That's pretty hot.

>>135551315
I want to know
But not this desperately

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>>135549579
>tfw you will never die in a snake's lover's embrace.

What's the point of living?

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>>135551315
https://www.gaybeast.com/movie/105721/big_dick_snake_fucker

This looks hotter than in hentai's even.

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>>135549579
>>135553152
if only we could all be so lucky...

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This is now cute snekgirl thread

>>135549871
he said he was just trying to get his semen back

Heroic Anaconda fights off sexual predator.

>>135553846
snek doesn't seem to enjoy

>>135549649
>>135551841
Snakes are total bros. Besides there are also snakes that aren't able to kill you.

>>135551315
Theres no way thats not reversed. No snake is just gonna dive head first into turd cutter like that.

>>135549579
>Flordia

>>135549579
which opening did he rail?

>>135551315
how that snake go backwards though?

>>135554841
>>135553152
I see.

>>135550236
>guy manages to convince some chick to fuck a dog
>tfw no gf

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>>135549703

>>135554712
>head first
i thought australians knew about snakes

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>>135549579
stupid fucker got a gerbil stuck up his anus last October and it chewed through his intestine. oh my. I am glad this sick sick fuck has been removed from the gene pool.

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>>135549703

>Although the state of Florida has officially outlawed bestiality in October 2011, the bestiality law does not forbid oral sex between a human and an animal, and only forbids “penetration” of a human sex organ into an animal’s mouth according to legal experts.

>>135555555

>>135555772
I imagine ring-gags are really popular in Florida.

>>135549579
he called 911 while the snake was choking him and he also had his dick stuck in the anacondas pussy. they should really release that phone call tape.

>>135549579
>Snakefucker white man.

>>135549579

florida is the romania of the states

>>135555441

oh come on, this isn't real

>>135558808
read the OP's article, its mentioned in there, apparently took him 2 months to heal

>>135558929

yeah, it's in the article, but that doesn't mean the article is true. worldnewsdaily also reports on alien landings, etc.

you don't really believe everything on the internet, do you?

>>135549579
Fake, but plausible

>>135559163
haha good point, it is Florida though.

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>>135549703

>>135555500
Neato numbers m8

>>135549579

“He always told me he wasn’t hurting anybody and that animals loved sex as much as humans, that it was a consensual thing. Who am I to judge?” he added."


This cant be real. Sounds like a parody.

>>135549579
World News Daily looks like a fake news website. The stories all look to convenient and tidy for the viewer. There's a small chance that any of the stories reported are real.

>>135560053
Search any of the stories that WND have on Google, only their stories are up. No other news outlet is reporting on their stories. Saged.

>>135560215
Ok I take part of it back, the cheating husband - biting off genitals seems to have been reported by Mirror Daily. Still, I wouldn't be surprised if 50 percent of World News Daily is fake.

delete this board please

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>>135560053
Exactly, anon, hence snekgirl thread now!

>>135549871
I farted.

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>>135553152
N i c e
i
c
e