>BUT WHO THE FUCK IS ROBERT??
ROBERT is the hero Chiraq needs but doesn't deserve; His nemesis is MALE BLACK, a notorious thief, murderer, and general rapscallion. By night they battle for the fate of the city.
>the march toward the inevitable backlog
FOR YOUR LISTENING PLEASURE
>>CPD Dispatch Stream:
http://www.broadcastify.com/listen/feed/763/web
>>Same feed with ambient music:
http://youarelistening.to/chicago
>>For Ambiance:
https://soundcloud.com/sithdemonic/sets/newwaveretro
DANK AUSSIEROBERT OC:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMLxgBxSiyU [Embed]
#### #### #### #### #### #### #### ####
BACK THE BLUE
>>Get Behind the Vest donation drive:
http://www.getbehindthevest.org/
>Chicago cops aren't even issued fucking armor by their shithole city.
>>The Chicago Police Department Memorial Fund (ALSO GET SOME SWEET SWEET MERCH):
http://www.cpdmemorial.org/
#### #### #### #### #### #### #### ####
CHICAGO'S K/D RATIO:
>>Shootings Scoreboards:
http://heyjackass.com
http://www.dnainfo.com/chicago/
http://chitownmugshots.com/
http://crime.chicagotribune.com/chicago/shootings/
http://crime.chicagotribune.com/chicago/homicides/
http://homicides.suntimes.com/
#### #### #### #### #### #### #### ####
>>Chicago Racial Demographics:
http://www.radicalcartography.net/index.html?chicagodots
>>Chiraq Gangland Map:
https://www.wbez.org/shows/wbez-news/in-chicago-gangs-abound-but-where-are-they/0d956c2e-171a-483a-8666-f5228d98812d
>>Police Codes:
http://www.bearcat1.com/radioil.htm
>>Chicago Police Dept. Directives:
http://directives.chicagopolice.org/directives/
>>Related twitter
https://twitter.com/spotnewsonig
https://twitter.com/hashtag/shitoemcsays
PASTEBIN: https://pastebin.com/pD418Eky
PREVIOUS THREAD: >>127400112
eternal drag racing
>>127410264
Didgts
>female with possible alcohol poisoning
Are you there, Kek? It's me, Robert
>female
>alcohol poisoning
nothing of worth was lost tonight
>woman needs a amberlance for possible alcohol poisoning
>robbery grey suv
>two male black
Here we go lads!!
GOOOOO git em Robert!
>>127410414
soon to be a gangrape call.
>>127410414
First gift to her unborn baby I'm sure
>>127410433
Witnessed.
What's the biggest that's happened the past couple weeks? I've been lurking but don't have the patience to stay for more than 30 minutes.
>>127410433
>>127410388
Remember, Fellow Roberts, Kek is with us tonight! Praise Him!
>>127410572
*thing
>Robert Lee residence
>>Robert
>>>Robert
>>127410433
He walks among us! Praise be to KEK!!!
>>127410520
Especially if that serial ass-grabbing Manlet Hispanic is still on the loose
>>127410388
>>127410433
Checked. Roberts beating down some male black ass tonight.
>Roberto Corneleo
>says he was shoved
>Roberto
>>Robert-o
>>127410572
>Manchester
>Universal Basic Income
>Trumps foreign trip
>>127410388
>>127410433
The memes must flow.
>>127410572
>What's the biggest that's happened the past couple weeks?
https://youtu.be/Tr_VbIg5LrU
>female needs an ambulance for possible alcohol poisoning
>>127410787
He who controls the memes, controls the Universe
>>127410748
I mean on the cpd scanner
What's with that 100 head swarm of man blacks? We need more details.
Make chicongo r0great againrobert
>drag racers
check
>>127410572
the highlight for me was a man masturbating off a 4th floor balcony at like 2am
other good parts were: a body hanging from a crane, guys on PCP, drag racers doing doughnuts in the street, multiple cars on fire, endless wifebeaters, one Robert was suicidal one night, an autistic 20 y/o getting violent, lots of "big guy"s
>>127410863
Don't know yet. If Kek is willing, there'll be some bloodshed.
googled real robert hours for amusement and this one came up
>>127410806
Damn, did they make it?
>You okay over there?
What the fuck is going on?
>>127410806
holy fuck - that's one of the most intense recordings I've ever heard
>>127410890
The long distance jizzer was the best. second to the chick knocking on peoples doors and then trying to piss on em when they answered.
>>127410837
We /goldenpath/ ITT? Not surprised, desu.
>>127410849
Innocent car shot twice. Two people fucking in a tiny car - it was "impressive." A few robberies. Someone was shot laying in the street.
>>127410976
robert may be having intense feels right now
>>127410849
Niqqas rolling with Tec 9s
Nigs tryna BBQ inside their apt
White Porsche Robbery Spree
BLINDED BY THE LIGHT
The same Male Hispanic playing Grabass for about a week
>>127410806
REEEEEEEEE I know that thumbnail!
>"shots were fired, and it was small caliber"
>>127410997
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7vsU8_bZn8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihWmbIGCxKA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4zgu-ckhoQ
>stabbed in da torso
>tawanda vargas ?
lol
>>127411005
Niggers fear the machine.
>>127411000
>more digits
S-s-stop it!
>>127411000
Hory Sheet, checked
Does the happenings start heating up in the summer or is just random all year?
>>127410890
and an open key with "BLINDED BY THE LIGHT" playing. It happened again earlier tonight.
kek
>>127411242
The nigs come out of hibernation once the weather starts warming up.
>>127411242
>Does the happenings start heating up in the summer or is just random all year?
both of these statements are simultaneously true.
>>127411000
TOP WEW
>>127411242
look up what happened last summer during the long Labor Day weekend. Even the local news couldn't pretend nothing happened.
>>127411242
Summer is peak, when male black is superheated and reverts to behavior better suited to his ancestral home
>>127411242
the big happpenings ramp up in summer. murder and shit. during the winter it's the every so often absolute nutty people out doing shenanigans.
>>127411242
summer, but they're bad all year
it's just that in summer it gets so much worse that we're all like wtf
>>127411322
its true. when they start to get sweaty and irritated, they hit the streets
>>127411399
Checked.
>>127411292
Clearly Robert Shift theme song
>>127411080
Ah yes. Still don't know where that damn White Porsche went.
>>127411448
Isn't Nature fascinating?
the winter is when you get calls like "two homeless people fucking on top of a prius"
>>127411553
shiiiiiiiiieeeeed
>>127411292
>>127411546
>Clearly Robert Shift theme song
Agreed.
>Man laying on the ground in front of a liquor store.
>>127411553
Parted out and sold for male black and crew to buy summer hoodies
>>127411643
When I have a rough day, I just wait until I get home before laying on the ground.
>>127411731
No clay like your own clay.
>>127411786
Damn right. Sometimes it's more comfortable than my own bed.
>Another gambling
What a night.
>>127411566
it is. seriously like a fuckin safari in those streets
>>127411841
Reminds me its just about the right time to put the hammocks up.
>>127411731
In Texas just Random ground laying will get you bitten by a fucking snake in the summer. Of course in Chicago you'll get ass raped and bitten by a homeless person
Aaron Rugner jr spotted! Who the fuck is he? I have no idea, but he has a gun.
>take sister-in-law's kid
>get in an accident
haha oops
>>127412009
In Soviet Russia ground lays on you. Then steals your wallet.
>>127411907
WORLD SERIES OF DICE! this gif is getting some mileage tonight?
>male white
>5'6"
>250 lbs
>>127412009
That's why I don't lay on the ground outside. I'm dumb, not stupid.
That being said, I do miss the bivouacs I had to do when I was in the Army. I was the only motherfucker who ever slept well.
ok roberts
Im back
ready to get comfy
Has male black been subdued?
Is chicago now a green and peaceful land?
Is the Pope a jew?
anyone have the bingo cards being used tonight?
>>127412109
Then bullies you for sex. It will also sell your vintage 87' Sony Walkman for krokodil
>>127412149
To answer your questions:
1) No, unfortunately
2) Same as above
3) The Pope is a filthy Shekel-shuffler.
>>127410388
one punch man
>>127412257
>krokodil
>vomits internally
>>127412259
Well
two outta three aint bad
>>127412257
That's a decent deal. You get Walkman, they lose arm.
>caller just heard a gunshot off Milwaukee
>>127412234
Robert reported bingo in the prevous bread.
one gunshot in alley behind milwaukee
>>127412357
Nice.
>>127412435
thanks :)
That music has to be really fucking loud.
>cousin hit the husband with a stick
>>127412549
Yet another stickfight.
>>127412570
Based stickman death squads when?
>80 to 90
ohg boy
>80-90 individuals in the street smoking and drinking
>80 to 90 indivijuls smoking and drinking
stick fighting man
whats robert to do
dont bring a stick to a gunfight boy!!
Did I hear windows pinball or was that soundcloud?
>>127412499
was that you makin those the other night? theyre solid, count pepe is a great iteration
>>127412795
>>127412779
>>127412747
No way this ends without violence
>>127412549
>>127412570
>>127412655
If we banned guns the violence would st-
Anything interesting happened lately? It's been a few weeks since I last listened
>>127412883
This is the latest I've stayed up for CPD
>>127412976
BAN ASSAULT STICKS!
>>127412829
yes it was, thank you :) i put a lot of work in to count pepe, but the secret ingredient is love
>>127412976
>If we banned guns the violence would st-
Trust me, there is nothing in this world that i want more than to hear that a trendy gated community full of college-grad communists got sticked to death by a troop of silverbacks. Just typing this made a little precum leak out.
>>127412990
my record is 7 am est
>gangbangers fighting a family
Male hispanic threatening basement dwellers with gun. Everybodies drunk.
Why is /cpd/ so comfy?
>>127413183
Someone's getting shot tonight
>>127412883
Nice Pepe OCs. I like 'em.
>>127413192
I don't know... I only hit /comfy/ levels like this during Chimpouts and riots.
>>127413131
someday this might be a reality...
lol, wat. did she just say "fucking further" then correct herself?
>shots fired at the harbor, possibly fireworks
we aquatic now
>>127413270
Count Pepe, I mean
>Shots fired, possibly fireworks
>>127413280
Oroville was pretty comfy. If they don't fix the fucker it'll be even comfier next time round.
>>127413306
Right? And that doesn't bother me. I have at this very moment more bullets than there are bodies in that picture.
Good morning Roberts
>>127413192
I often wonder
>>127413458
They won't fix it. That would require using government money for USEFUL purposes, which Commifornians are loathe to do.
>>127413086
It's amazing. Great job, anon.
>Walking out on very large bill
hello
I'm interested in negro violence
>>127412883
Why is pepe the count? Does he count black murders?
>>127413632
We'll your in the right place my friend
>>127413632
You've come to the right place! Get a drink and get comfy
>>127413632
You came to the right hangout mate. Listen a while and get /comfy/
>>127413632
you came to the right place.
Gather up a chair and your favorite beverage and enjoy Chicago
>>127413632
>>127413774
This picture needs to be ROBERT'D
>>127413860
it already has been
>>127412829
>>127413632
well sheeiiiit
>>127413632
>hello
>I'm interested in negro violence
Best introduction post by far. Welcome to comfytown, m8.
>Robert looking for stolen phone.
>Lets hope they find the grey SUV
>Stolen cellphone, pinging
How stupid is the robber?
Rhetorical question.
>>127413682
yes and shots fired
Robert is on right now
>>127413781
Had a real good laff making that one :)
>>127414037
IT'S A PLOY TO LURE OUT ROBERT
WATCH OUT ROBERT
>Battery in progress
>Son and Dad fighting in front
I bet chicken is involved.
>bumped his head
>he's conscious
>>127413609
thank you :)
>>127413354
WE WUZ POSEIDONZ
ahhh shit anyone else remember a few months back when Adam was chasing two male blacks, they ditched the car, and jumped into the river only to suddenly remember they were black and non-swimming? And CPD divers had to rescue them?
>>127413781
Saved
>man has fallen down at burrito palace
>he's concious
>>127414088
SABOTAAAAAGE
>>127414170
Those are always good ones. I loved the one where the CPD boats had to pull over some basketball americans in a stolen boat.
>>127413270
thank you :)
>>127413711
Checked for side chicks putting banana peels in gas tanks
>>127414170
yea, that was funny AF
>The phone is still pinging
Shiiiieeeeeet
Gangbangers are fighting a family(?)
woo!
>couple calls of shots fired
>>127414083
It is fucking hilarious
>>127414274
>you are not putting a banana in my tail pipe
>>127414175
He's got a case of the mud butt
>>127414244
Male blacks have an inherent need to re-enact every scene from every GTA ever
>>127414305
male black has very high IQ on average
>>127414441
Just a group of fine young men on their way to SAT prep
>trying to get comfy
>too many calls coming in
>I am getting overstimulated
>>127413969
thats it. thanks m8
>>127414510
Zombie apocachimps
>>127414510
I bet the gentleman on the left is in science and shit.
>>127414437
top kek
That they do
>>127413626
The old dine and dash, an oldie but a goodie
>>127414170
>my sides. now in jupiter orbit.
>>127414577
your welcome :)
>someone is trying to come in the rear...
>>127413781
nice
>female screaming "dont hurt me" in 3rd story apartment
>people breaking gates trying to get into place, males and females
>don't hurt me shouted over and over
What are the odds it is a coalburner paying the toll?
>>127414822
the city is a fucking zoo
>screaming and yelling don't hurt me
F
>>127414679
a niggers gotta eat homie
>>127414822
>>127414853
>>127414882
Baby don't hurt me...no more...
>gun shot wounds to thigh and buttocks
>gunshot wound to the buttocks
>male black breaking into property and busting out windows
>shot in the buttocks
top kek
>busting out windows
This city is insane
S H O T
I N
T H E
A S S
>>127414722
https://wgntv.com/2017/04/01/divers-rescue-two-men-from-chicago-river-after-police-chase/amp/
So many bad choices from Kangz
>>127415143
butthurt.jpg
send the meatwagon
2 to the hospital
charlies hurt bad in the throat
Will be back ASAP I have to go into work to fix something. Stay comfy
>Shot in the lower left side...and the buttocks
Click goes the Shot-in-the-Ass-O-Meter
>someone's passed out in the doorway
>2 male blacks
>not sure what they are up to
>car alarms going off
>>127414577
>>127415143
>>127415293
66! 66 coons shot in the ass!
>AH AH AH
>>127410433
Witnessed
>they never caught storm drain rape nigger
>>127415504
One does noe simply catch a Cosmic Horror, Robert.
>>127415427
I bet Robert can guess
>Drag racing
>Gambling
>Parties and loud music everywhere
Are they having a chimpionship of some kind?
>>127415439
money. saved. i love this thread
>playing on the phone
>>127415585
>memorial day weekend
yes
EMS inbound
I never see this collage from long ago get posted anymore.
Who /ye old Robert/ here?
>>127415747
>3somZEX
Nice callsign, Robert.
>>127415807
I never saved it. Fuck, thanks for bringing it back.
>>127415710
me too :)
>BODY FOUND
Someone explain to a newfag the "check yo keys" thing.
>where's the body located
Oh boy
>>127415970
Reminder that sewer niggers are/were an actual thing and the movie CHUD was partially based off of them.
>>127415504
>storm drain rape nigger
dude what
fresh corpse ayy
>body removal
>facial injuries
>>127416097
"turn your fucking walkie-talkie off"
>>127416116
Last year some coon was trying to pull women into the sewer through a storm drain.
elusive white female spotted
dead
body in bed of hotel room
status: toll paid
>dude black pussy in a car lmao
>>127416116
In the first few of these threads years back, there were reports of some nigger in a storm drain/sewer who tried to snatch and grab some woman. Never caught.
oh they are calling her parents
fuck anons, thats gotta suck
>female screaming for help on California, nothing further
F
>>127416196
Obama's old gimp
>>127416258
>Female screaming for help
>California ave
This really is fucking carnage
>>127416097
here ya go
>>127415807
saved!
>threatening suicide on facebook
ok
Hero incoming!
>body removal
>public fornication
wew
>IM GONNA DO IT
>>127416406
This is CHICONGO
>>127416447
thanks, anon
>sister is on facebook threatening suicide
>2 passed out females on a moving train
>Two women passed on a moving train, details to follow
>>127416847
does not sound comfy
>passed out on the train that is moving
F
did she just say "40 gang members on the street"
>crowd of about 40 gang members on the street
FIGHT
this is unrelated i just really wanted to use this image i photoshoped of a dipshit i work with, and yes he knows and has seen it and was butthurt
40 GANG MEMBERS
Will this end well?
robert is busy tonight
>>127416929
Let the Grand Chimpening begin!
>40 gang members
>>127417115
>Meanwhile, in Detroit...
>>127417065
It will be a bloodbath
>>127417065
>>127417115
real death hours
>"illegal loitering...[something] narcotics"
>>127417065
Gods willing.
>>127416962
saved and I will pass this around
Peak degeneracy in boystown tonight lads. The roving gays/blacks wont make for one of your aesthetic pictures sadly. Shouldve snapped one of the Robert smoking against his cruiser though. Saw some other Roberts questioning a black male and waving off black females on the walk home too.
>Train is held because of two passed out females
>>127417299
Kek wills it! Get ready, Roberts!
>People fighting in the streets
http://homicides.suntimes.com/
>>127417356
This intersection is good for a brawl almost weekly. They sell fucking 40s at the gay club just on the far side of the pic so Im sure you can imagine the degeneracy
>>127417356
>Shouldve snapped one of the Robert smoking against his cruiser though.
Yes, you should have. The memes must flow, anon. You Chiraqi anons are the fuel rods in our meme reactor. Without you, there is no critical mass.
>guy with gun in pocket next to boost mobile and subway
>asking for loose squares
kek
>>127417571
loosies
>>127417571
AY NIGGUH LEMME COP A SQURR
>one male black running
>Ok
>>127417346
thank you :) i also have one of him as the fat kid from bad santa
>gangbangers causing a disturbance
>>127411242
That's why the further north you go (till a point) the better - less niggers - BUT - you start getting the old Chinese niggers eventually (native camadians)
>>127417857
Always with the disturbances, they need to nut up. SQUEEZE IT, NIGGUH!
>bipolar schizo brother is trying to break into the house
>says he has a gun
Fucking rent-a-roberts
lol
>Tinesha Thompson claims her bf jumped on her
>>127418213
Top Kek! saved!
what time do bars close in chicongo
Jesus fucking christ
>we have a woman who just got shot
>>127418459
2 to 4 am.
>Woman who just got shot
>multiple calls for battery in progress
>female yelling non-stop for help
>woman just got shot
>>127418459
Right now.
>Woman just got shot
>Roll an Amberlamps. A woman just got shot
Woman shot! Dead or not? Place your bets
woman just shot
1232 robert
woman on troupe??
>>127418527
ROBERT HOURS
>>127418533
>Quiet night in Chicongo
stable condition,
shot in back
>guy shot three times in the lower back
Male Black is busy tonight
>>127418322
I wonder what she was doing before hand...
>>127418647
STABLE IS NOT A CONDITION, ROBERT
We got sassy black on the com
BTW BUILD WALL
>caller states shes pregnant and the man tried to kill her
>call got cut off
F
Red shirt with gun. Anyone want to reckon the probability of gang relations?
>Pregnant woman, claims a man tried to choke her, call disconnected
F
>>127418845
>Call disconnected abruptly
F x2
>>127418889
For sure...
S
>>127418845
Does murdering a pregnant woman count as a double homicide in court?
Standby - new bread almost ready
>>127418932
Yes.
>>127418932
abortion complicates that
>>127418932
Probably depends on how far along she is, if she can no longer have an abortion then it's a double homicide
>>127418863
Vice Lord for sure.
>>127418889
Damn shame...
>>127418863
That, or one of the crew from the Enterprise got loose. That'll sort itself out in no time.
NEW BREAD
NEW BREAD
>>127419005
>>127419005
migrate
>>127419005
migrate
>>127416112
Is that Ashy Larry?