What's the most autistic "instrument"?

ocarina

Ukelele

sampling

A male playing the harp desu

>>61589817
>>61589817
>>61589817
>>61589817

dubstep

theremin

in 2016 all of them. Learn Ableton. Adapt or die.

>>61589828
I was considering the harp.

Should I buy and learn a harp, a theremin, glockenspiel, a violin, or a keyboard? Serious question. I've never learned how to play an instrument before. I don't want to learn guitar.

>>61589861
Of those, you will be laughed at least/maybe actually be useful in some context with keyboards.
You're probably too late to start the violin, really, and you don't have the money.
Everything else is gimmicky shit that's dumb.

>>61589861
Guzheng

Guitar

>>61589841
Nah, you need more people playing actual instruments.
Samples are a great tool, but since there's a limited pool of them they can get samey. That's why all drumming sucks now: everyone uses the same 10 sample sets since 1999, it's boring.

>>61589817
>>61589835
these

>>61589900
>be useful

I don't want to be useful, though.

>>61589900
Oh shut up
If you play instruments to be useful or call attention to yourself you should never get close to music again

Acoustic Guitar

disgusting instrument, only good for latin music

>>61589812
>>61589835
Yeah

>>61589817
This is just indie bullshit

>>61589910
Not saying he should take up the glockenspiel exclusively, but you can here it in many recordings in plenty of genres
>>61589923
If you're doing it for yourself, I'd say theremin, but it seems like something that would boring fast. I'd suggest a non classical string instrument, maybe keyboard

>>61589949
That's not what I'm saying, though perhaps I didn't phrase it quite right. By "actually be useful in some context" I meant more that keyboards would be best of those to teach him fundamental - ie useful - musical knowledge. As for "calling attention to yourself," if you think that most people don't play the harp, theremin, glockenspiel, etc to call attention to themselves, you're deluded.

>>61589800
Guitar

Harpsichord.

>>61589817
This

Audacity. audacity with no original recording

>>61589800
Bass

>>61589800
drums/percussion

just randomly hit shit and make sound

no-input mixing board

>>61589817
Ukelele isn't autistic
It's for normies
People who don't want to invest time or money or practice at all to be able to play music
But still insist on going to "Jam Sesh" or playing with their church or playing music at a party
fuck uke

>>61590149
triggered

>>61589817
>>61589824
>>61589828
>>61589834
>>61589909
>>61589981
>>61590045
>>61590068
>>61590145
these are all normie instruments
"i dont like it" =/= autistic

>>61590123
this is the only 100% autistic instrument. it is my favorite.

>>61589812
dis

>>61590164
I don't know, I guess I've been to more really horrible anime conventions than you.
What you're saying brings to mind more playing major chords on acoustic guitar, probably only knowing three or four, but still thinking you're hot shit because you can make a sound happen.

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Viola. It's basically a violin for people who want to read music in a special snowflake clef.

>>61590315
C clef is the only worthwhile clef chumpo, I'm sorry that you were bullied in ninth grade band

>>61590336
>I'm sorry that you were bullied in ninth grade band
Yeah, but not by viola players

>>61590241
Explain?

>>61589800
Texas instruments

>>61590410
Nobody gives a shit about the bass, but to become at all good at it you must become a true autist and give up on everything else. Regardless, no one will give a shit.

>>61589834
correct

>>61590286
I've been to exactly 0 horrible anime conventions senpai

>>61590422
ClrHome
0→X
1→A
Label 1
X+A→X
Output(4,X,"KEK")
If X=13
-1→A
If X=1
1→A
Goto 1

>>61590514
I'm proud of you. I'm really happy for you. Please pray for my damned soul.

>>61590522

kek of the highest order

>>61590422
Fukin kek

>>61589861
ok don't get a theremin or a glockenspiel
keyboard first just to learn how to play music
then get a violin or harp to advance on
violin would be my choice, I hate fingerpicking

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I used to attempt EDM using Ableton 8 without MIDI of any sort. So I think this counts as an instrument.

>>61589861
Alright anon, let's be honest here, the harp and violin are too difficult and too late to start, they're also extremely expensive.
The glockenspeil and keyboard are actually useful music instruments with varying levels of price and a million different options out there.
The theremin I actually had to look up because I didn't know that's what it's called but those look surprisingly affordable so I'd explore that after you learn the keyboard. Honestly, why would you learn the glockenspeil though? There's not a whole lot to it but if you learned more percussion instruments it'd be more useful.
Just learn one man, I want to be able to play a ton of instruments when I'm old.

>>61590381
underrated

>>61589861
Keyboard. A lot of cheap electric keyboards sound pretty good compared to the sound you'd get out of a cheap acoustic instrument. If you're even considering buying a theremin then you probably have enough money saved up to buy a keyboard that will last you for a long time.

Electric keyboards also don't need to be tuned, so you won't need to buy a tuner. Granted, glockenspiels don't need to be tuned, but you should hold off on buying one. The glockenspiel isn't a very good solo instrument. Also, if you learn how to play the piano, you can pick up the glockenspiel with relative ease just buy learning the rebound stroke (it'll take you like half an hour).

So yeah, get a keyboard. Make sure it has weighted keys, and get one with 88 keys if you can.

>>61589835
The thermins so autistic but I love falling asleep to classical music preformed on a theremin

>>61591081
This sounds awesome, any recs?

>>61590241
I think you meant 100% cuck instrument.

>>61589800
percussion

>>61590487
Not true, I also play guitar as a second instrument and I have recently picked up glockenspiel (which is just percussion with theory)

computer in you make anything electronic that isn't EDM or rap. Seriously, 99 percent of the population has no idea what even shit like Autechre is, and don't even consider that stuff music. I'm speaking from experience. People think you are a weirdo when you show them a bunch of bleep click bloops noises arranged in a poly rhythmic structure.

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The Accordion

omnichord

>>61591687
Unless you're a slav then it's considered god tier.

>>61589817

>Ever Pacific Islander in the world is autistic

>>61589841
kys

Bass Guitar

Only shitty "musicians" play it, as it's an instrument that appeals to people who don't really resonate with music - which are autistic people. It's hard to fuck up with, and nobody will notice if you do, so it gives the insecure autists something to fall back on as well.

The talented autists (see: Robert Fripp) will play guitar with a bunch of weird effects.

>>61591856
>It's hard to fuck up with
>No one will notice
I want this meme to die. Keyboard player here.

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>>61591856

>>61591856
you're an idiot.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgH3cjTnwaw

>>61592026
>>61591919
>>61591914

I'm not wrong, though. I've been in many bands over the years, and without fail, the bassist is always either:

>Someone's best friend/girlfriend/etc.
>A dude we found on Craigslist who is a nervous wreck and never talks

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihaH_EsYf7M

if you gave this to an autistic kid he would stand in a corner and hit it all day, every day, and probably screech and choke you to death in your sleep if you tried to take it away

I play the trombone. How autistic am I?

jaw harp

>tfw you thought it was called the jew harp for 20 years because that's what your older brother said it was

>>61592091
Start listening or playing with some jazz or funk bands, then you'll see how important it can be

>>61592348

In bass dominant genres, I understand that it's important.

In any other genre, however, it is reserved solely for the least talented member of the band.

>>61591856
The only genres in which the bass is unnoticeable are: Shitty 90s style buttrock (or grunge if you prefer) which you shouldn't be playing anyway
Shitty 80s style buttrock (or Hard Rock if you prefer) which you shouldn't be playing anyway
And Metal, in which the guitar is inaudible because the point of the bass there is to make the guitars chunkier.

>>61592334
He isn't wrong.

Vocals

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>>61591687
die pls

>>61589812
>>61589817
correct

Bassoon.

Prove me wrong.

Traditional instruments being used by people not from the culture they originated from.

i.e. a white guy with a shamisen

>>61593124
cuck

>>61593124
cuck

Let's be honest, it's modular synthesizers.

>>61593336
>>61593263
goose!

>>61593124
i was in new orleans once and there's a white boi outside the cathedral in the french quarter who plays a giant african bass harp. it looks like a star wars cantina alien instrument but he plays it quite well and it sounds nice, and it's a nice change of pace from homeless kids with guitars and sun shriveled trumpet playing negroes or the tap dancing ones constantly asking for tips

>>61593124 (You)

>>61593124
I guess all rock music shouldn't be played anymore since its derivative of blues!!! :^)

>>61590381
10/10

>>61591773
>Every pacific islander in the world owns a ukelele

>>61590381
>shade thrown

>>61590487
i was going to counter this saying i became passable at bass with relative ease but then i remebered im also autistic

>>61593361
heh

>>61592143

Reminded me of this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7E2zRkgxwQU

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>>61590381

>>61591856
This bait desu ne

>>61592151
Not autistic at all mate, I play it too. Slidey pipe a best

hurdy gurdy

Do instruments of torture count?

Jew Harps
Pitch Pipes
Kazoos

>>61593662
obviously

>>61589800
the various artisan gimmicky keyboardy things made by hipster startups

>>61593683
I bet you like oasis

Oboe
I defy you to show me an oboe player who is not an autist

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>>61593802
Oh, like the harpejji?

the guitar obvs

>>61593861
in 10th grade band there was this cute girl who played the oboe

>tfw no oboe gf

>>61589800
Cymbals

>>61592515
no mention of the vocalist?

on that note, the vocal chords are the most autistic instrument

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>ctrl-f clarinet
>0 results

i'm safe

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>>61593355
doubledubs speak the truth.
doesn't mean I don't love 'em though

>>61590422
LOL

>>61594936
S-same

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>>61590381

>>61592151
>>61593639
I play trombone as well, its probably the most autistic instrument I can think of. I was in band in school and our section was the most autistic. I couldn't stand most of the trombone players because they were so autistic. They were so bad that a borderline autistic guy hated them (me desu)

>>61592515
how do you feel about bassists that have been shoved on the role because there was already a lead guitarist?

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>>61589800
Instruments of the Devil

>>61589800
Keytar
>I want to play guitar
>but I don't want to be the guitarist
>also, I only want to play synthpop

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>>61591687
>He doesn't like Weird Al

I hope you all know that when we're talking about the arts or any other intellectual pursuit, autistic is a good thing

>>61595370
That's literally the exact opposite of reality

>>61595470
No

>>61593383
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKGYRZb7V5U
was it this guy?