I struggle to talk about anything I know about, even myself.
>so anon what about yourself >uh, I went to school as a kid... and... I like video games.... I usually try to bail out of these personal conversations by being self-deprecating >haha I don't know anything! >I'm not interesting >etc
>in a group at some event >have to present ourselves in a circle >my turn >well here goes >"hey I am anon, 20y/o, I like listening to music, drawing, reading and occasionally get drunk" in a monotonous voice >people are giggling and someone claps my shoulder:"you are in good company bud"
>tfw I been an alcoholic for god knows how long and have been crying drunk in front of my PC at 4a.m., listening to noise
>>51186130 >tfw I been an alcoholic for god knows how long and have been crying drunk in front of my PC at 4a.m., listening to noise >not having your drunk early morning feels to classical Such magnificent splendor, touched by the grace of God. Then why is my soul so ugly?
>so anon what are some bands you listen to? My mind goes blank almost every time. Like a lot of the bands I could say they would have no idea who they are. But if I say a few of the bands is like that they would know I feel like I'd be misrepresenting my music taste
>guy at work asks me if I like Chris Brown >say no >he freaks out and asks me what kind of music I like >"a lot of stuff" >starts naming me genres and I have to name a band/artist from each genre >said the most generic shit I could think of and he still didn't know any band I've name >probably thinks I'm weird
>>51185822 this is because your musical knowledge is way higher than the usual people one. Then they ask you something and you dont know how to answer, while having a extreme musical knowledge compared to them
>tfw some of my friends regard me as the best DJ for parties, some others as the guy with the most interesting and cool taste in music, and others as a talented piano/guitar player even though I don't feel that way personally.
>at a party >we are talking about music >people saying alot of wrong stuff >cant repeatedlly tell them all this stuff is wrong or they would think "why the hell he is saying I am wrong all the time. He is just trying to sound superior" >I am also a little shy, and wont fix all the mistakes they say >since I didnt corrected all the wrong stuff they said about music, this means that what they said about music is right (or at least I think its right) >before saying something I need to think to check if what I will say will not contradict what I agreed to be a musical fact >stay speechless as it takes too long to rework my opinions and someone else star to say something before I do anyway: >Some guy once on a party said pink floyd was the first experimental band. >I said this is not right, because you could find as some example on the 50s and 60s some scientistics doing musical experiments on their labs a thing that would be called musique concrete >a girl look at me with a weird face, asking "tell me one guy that do this kind of stuff" >I can only remember one name. Ianni Xenakis
>>51185871 that is the worst fucking thing to do though. it immediately makes you look like either a loser with no self confidence who thinks he's being clever or a person who genuinely has nothing interesting going on in their life.
learn how to respond to questions like "What are your hobbies?" without sperging out and being self conscious about things that you like. just answer confidently. even if your answer is "i like video games", if you don't timidly squeak it out like a retard then you're better off doing that than saying "oh i'm not very interesting i don't have hobbies etc etc"
seriously dude. lay off that shit. it makes you look bad no matter which way you slice it. i used to do it in hs and stopped doing it once i hit college. when you learn how to confidently express yourself then people become more attracted to you because you're interesting. i'm a cs major and i've tried talking to people and asking what hobbies they have and i've had people respond with shit like "Oh I don't really have any" but they're fucking cs students so i know that they play video games and they're too scared to say it and it just turns me off immediately.
don't be those cs kids. learn to half an ounce of self confidence. at least enough to not be afraid to tell people what your hobbies are.
>>51186844 >what are you hobbies anon >Music >Oh what instruments do you play Then I realize I can't say I make experimental drone and harsh noise on my laptop. >I dabble in a little bit of everything >cool
>>51186820 well i won't bother with that because they know it's bad for them and they're probably addicted anyway so why bother.
but i and a lot of people in my life have used the same strategy and i read in that anon's post and it's so fucking irritating when you're on the receiving end of it.
i honestly never realized how annoying that "Oh I'm not interesting and I don't know anything at all" attitude until i started hearing it from other people i wanted to get to know. i had three friends in high school for a damn good reason. everybody thought i was uninteresting and not worth getting to know because that's what i fucking told them.
>>51186894 by being around people more often. that's it.
also just rehearse answers. i mean don't literally pace around the room formulating a catch all response and repeat it ad nauseam when someone asks you a question, but just think of some things to say so that you aren't caught off guard. i'm guessing you default to "I'm boring" so as to avoid awkward silence as you think of shit that you could say about yourself. that's just a shot in the dark because that's why i used to say that.
>>51186974 >Look here we have ourselves an expert.
homie i'm a sophomore in college and i have made like 3 friends so far. i'm no expert in being sociable. i'm just telling this anon how not to immediately turn people off of a conversation.
>But really now, if he cant, he cant, it is all there is to it.
no it's not. source: i used to do what he did and i don't anymore.
>I also do it constantly, not because I am too shy to express myself, but because I do not care enough about how people see me.
are you in high school? making friends and networking are incredibly important when you get older. you'll start caring more about meeting people when you go to college and realize that your forced interactions with fellow students in hs are completely gone and you need to make an effort to make connections in college.
>Also even if you are confident as hell, throwing around your obscure taste will not help you anyway, you will just get a weirded out "okaaay".
who said you need to throw around your obscure taste? just say you like music and name off the most well known bands you can think of. then follow up by asking them what music they like or what hobbies they have.
>What is interessting and what not is subjective, just because I am really excited about some shit, does not mean people will agree.
yeah, but they'll be able to see that you're passionate about something and interested in something and even if they don't really care about it, that's 1000x more engaging than someone saying "I don't care about anything and I'm boring"
unless they're making small talk, they're approaching you because they want to learn more about you. give them more than literally nothing in the form of "I'm boring"
>If you need fruends desperately, you may reveal yourself slowly, but jumping in like some autist is a turn off, like the stench of sweat.
you won't come off as an autist unless you sputter out your answer like a clumsy knob or go on a 45 second speech.
>>51187250 they're not annoyed, they're turned off. have you ever asked someone what they like to do and had them respond "Oh I don't really do much. I'm pretty boring"?
it's not _annoying_. it's just an immediate turnoff. most people wouldn't care to talk to you after that because you indicated to them that you either don't want to talk or don't have anything to say. either way, they're discouraged and will likely just bail out of the convo asap.
At the Halloween party I went to me and this really drunk dude had this intense music discussion. It was the best thing ever, both of us excited to finally talk about shit like Beefheart & the Residents with someone. It was basically us going back and forth with YOU LIKE ____ TOO? HOLY SHIT! and FINALLY SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS!
>>51187171 >only have female friends >talk one-on-one with one of them >trying to boost their self-esteem and tell them what a great person they are >get an erection Every single fucking goddamn time. Jesus Christ. Like I don't even get it.
>be close friends with 9/10 asian chick >hang out together every day on campus >constantly teasing one another >one day she says people probably think we're fuck buddies or something >laugh, not sure what to really say >mfw the whole time
>>51187529 Nah, I don't really like people touching me. It's nothing sexual, I prefer men anyway. Erections just always seem to come when you don't want them. I'm guessing it has something to do with the fact I'm being so intimate with them (emotionally speaking) since I'm usually fairly hermit-ish.
>>51187592 >"wanna drink a few beers after work anon" >immediately think of where, how, when, why, bus times, calling people, money for beer, what to say, what to do, I do even know how to play billiard, clothing (what the fuck I didn't even shave my scruffy beard today I can't go to a bar) >"no thanks"
>>51187610 >be all depressed, lonely and talk about killing myself >co-workers all say, "You should really give me your phone number if you need someone to talk to" >"nah, that's okay" >go home and cry because there's no one to talk to
>>51187640 >boss says we should go out for drinks >he begins to excited about it and brings in other supervisors, telling them about the plan >I start to panic and later go up to one of those supervisors and offer him $100 to make sure the boss forgets this idea
>>51187546 Well you are trying to bash through your insecurities. Mostly it ends up with people looking fake as hell. It is obvious that the people here are not masters of self-control. Being a social cripple is not unlikely for people here.
It is just that you may not see the whole situation, anons are probably not like you and end up spilling spaghetti all over the place.
In general I think as long as they stay true to themselves, people will come around eventually, even when they are shut ins.
Just my opinion, but I am also strongly against changing myself as I am. Others may be more tolerant.
>tfw every time you get interested in a girl you fuck up somehow and ruin any chances you had >tfw you always misconstrue their personality as them being interested in you >tfw wouldn't know how to handle a relationship anyway >tfw never know what to say >tfw stuck in a loop of this failure >tfw parents think you're gay because you're shit at dealing with women >tfw even if you were gay you'd still be stuck in the loop
Gay anons back me up here, pretty sure trying to get a homosexual relationship started is just as hard as a heterosexual relationship when you're an awkward & nervous wreck, right?
>>51187705 Maybe in Burgerland. Here, nobody gives a fuck. Most of them would probably be relieved if I killed myself. One of my bosses years ago once told me not to kill myself because spring was coming. That's as passionate as it gets.
I know she is probably not such a great person as I imagined her, but she was good at holding her innocent, heart warming image.
I still used to talk to her after this "conversation" and slowly realized that she may be depressed and really self absorbed. But like I said she could hold up her image good and I like to imagine that I loved a girl who was pretty much perfect.
>>51187798 It probably makes a difference I work for the biggest corporation in the country, they don't really care about the employees and go through them so fast that you don't even have to bother learning the new ones names. Also, there's a union.
>>51187891 Completely wrong analogy. I have a job that I go to, and I have clients there. I don't hussle for bands to pay me to come into my work. They book themselves. I'm not an A&R exec, I'm not involved with a record company, I don't "sign" people.
I have no interest in hearing random peoples' demos and providing "professional" feedback while I'm at the pub or at a wedding or something. even at work it's not what I do.
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