Nightly Twilight Thread

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I unironically like Steven Universe more than this shit show. You guys really need to cut the cord and get with the times.

I hope this thread will be better than the last o--
>>30840815
Nevermind.

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>>30840815
It's only the beginning Anon
Denial is only the third phase

Reminder that you're not a true waifufag if you don't want to fuck her full of kids. You're a disgrace and should promptly remove yourself from this thread.

>>30840888
your fortune:checked
your trips:checked

>>30840888
>Implying you'll ever have actual kids

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>>30840888
Yes, twiggy is to be a mommy

>>30840913
Did I really imply that? Or do you mean actual imaginary kids? The latter kind I totally will. If ponies are multiparous, I'll put as many kids in her as possible in one go. If they're uniparous, I can do it one by one, putting up with her increasingly ruined vagina from all the births. She could even fix herself up with magic for me.

>>30841003
Aw, missed that one. Fucking slow ISP.

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>>30840937
Man, as much as I dislike the third episode of this season, I must admit Twi playing with Flurry melted my heart. I'd love to raise a monster kid with her.

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>>30841088
Yeah, idk, I mean, I'm biased as hell because it gave me something I've wanted for a long while so...
I can't really dislike that episode

Do you like spike?

>>30841276
I like his interactions with Twilight but that's about it. For the most part I've never been a fan of him getting episodes.

>>30840798
What the fuck happened I leave this thread for a night and we hit bump limit. These are usually up for a good three or four days longes. Not that I'm complaining, more activity = good

>>30841715
Well that kind of activity wasn't 'good'
I mean we did have some nice discussions about babies and shit, but we really could've gone without the baits and shitposts

>>30841276
I do
He's not half as bad as people say too
I mean, some of his episodes really suck balls but that's not his fault
I'd love for them to actually do something with him, and just like the CMC, I'd love to see him grow up a bit
I mean, it won't happen but hey, that'd be cool

>>30841715
A master baiter arrived.

>>30841276
Yes

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That movie art book had a lot of cute Twilight in it. This in particular made me really hnng when I was preping it for posting.

>>30842370
Fuck me that's some nice Twiggy. The online bookstore I buy from is sending out the preorders tomorrow, pretty keen for that.

>>30842411
I've said it a bunch already, but it's so, so nice in print. You're in for a treat Anon.

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I want to take Twilight to a museum.
I want to be there with her from open to close.
I want to buy her a souvenir from the gift shop.

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>"Remember Anon, unf tax is due by the end of each month."

>>30842829
Can I pay in body fluids?

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cute twiggy

>>30842862
Post the rest, it was pretty good.

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>>30842889
full size https://derpicdn.net/img/view/2016/4/29/1142038__safe_artist-colon-akira+himekawa_princess+cadance_shining+armor_spike_twilight+sparkle_absurd+res_book_canterlot_comic_cute_golden+oaks+librar.png

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seems a little OOC for her but whatever, it's cute

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>>30842922
Cute as hell.

>>30840815
>liking SU at all

How am I supposed to value your opinion after reading that?

>>30842916
>>30842922
>casts spell
>spell shows spike
>"oh I guess it just didn't work"
fucking cold as ice

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>>30840937
>twilight will never never be your mommy

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>>30843264
>ywn make twilight a mommy
>many, many times

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>>30843279
Give it to me straight doc. Can my body physically even go on knowing I'll never marry this mare? Every breath is pain.

>>30842838
You may pay WITH YOUR BLOOD!
We desperately require IV(AB) positive.

>>30843322
There are specialized institutions that can help, you know? You shouldn't be suffering.

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>>30843322
Sometimes having a waifu is really good, inspires me to make positive changes in my life and makes me happy.
Sometimes it makes me want to stay in bed and fucking die.
I'm waiting on the good times now.

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>>30843279
MANY TIMES

Would the kids be alicorns tho?
All of them?
Or would they all be unicorns? Or maybe some pegasi here or there?

>>30843544
Unicorns, all of them

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>>30843586
the master race obviously

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she's the least happy out of the 6

ayyy Twilight,always thinking too much

>>30843625
For some reason I can't seem to like Twiggy's fishform
I believe it's the straight mane that stays straight underwater, idk
Because Dash is fucking beautiful as a fishhoers

>>30843711
also she's worried and not feeling it
no wonder she doesn't appear as much in the clips

she probably knew what was going to come for her after that

>>30841276
I've been a fan of Spike since the beginning, he's a real bro most of the time. Never liked him being a buttmonkey despised by the fandom and the show makers. Season 6 was great for him.

>>30842595
Every time, dammit. Every time I go to a museum I get these exact thoughts. I can't help but imagine being there with her and spend all day together...

Fuck, I can't handle this pain. Maybe I need to find a 3d woman like her so the pain goes away, but the very idea of doing that kind of disgusts me.

>>30842829
Wish I could draw Twiggies like that.
Out of curiousity, how long would it take someone with 0 drawing talent to go from this stage to the one in pic related?

>>30843788
Depends on how much you practice and how enthusiastic you are. There's a fuckload of guides online and all you need is time, motivation, paper, a pencil and a rubber. A year of active practice can already make you somewhat decent at drawing, another year a bit better. Hard to say how long exactly it will take.

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>>30843786
>3d woman like her

>>30843786
>3d woman like her
3dpds don't have hooves

>>30842916
Wonder how she would react if she saw a hairless ape in the mirror...

I miss when Twilight was snarky and lived in the treebrary and didn't have those wings.
Don't deny it, you do too.

>>30844058
I wasn't there when she was an unicorn.....so that missing aspect is just like I don't care

>>30844058
I don't. Wings didn't change her a bit. She's still sweet, kind, caring, smart and enthusiastic.
The only thing I can agree on is earlier in the show she had more freedom, now she has so much responsibilities, it's like the castle is her punishment for some reason, she's condemned to stay there and do princessy stuff instead of frolicking with her friends on sunshine.

>>30840492
I pity this anon, so jaded he can't see how our love of Twilight can transcend not only reality but the end of the series itself which spawned her.

>>30840739
Anestrus can be prevented with artificial lighting tho

>>30842411
Where is this from?

>>30844221
booktopia.com.au

Am I odd for not wanting to have kids with her? I mean if she wanted them I'd probably go along, but I'm very set in my ways and enjoy not having kids fucking up my life t b h

>>30844227
And what books did you get

>>30844240
Don't you worry. Next season Hasbro will marry her and make fillies to boost up sales before cartoon is over.

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>>30844211
All love comes to an end desu.

>>30844256
I'd kys myself

>>30844256
You are talking pure nonsense faggot.

>>30844268
*All things come to an end
FTFY
Don't be edgy about it, though.

>>30844285
No, plenty of things will last your whole life.
Not love, it only lasts long enough to make you commit to someone.

>>30844304
Yes but your "whole life" won't last very long, less than a century. Even less if you have an unhealthy lifestyle.
Besides, love being fickle is the main reason why I don't want a relationship with a 3D woman. Breaking up with your imaginary waifu is easy, although I don't see why I would abandon the one thing that makes me genuinely happy.

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>>30844323
The whole thing is a trap made to torture us, Even when nothing is wrong it still hurts.

>>30844283
I do hope so myself.
But there is no one stopping Hasbro exec to come by one day and say "hey, my granddaughter is into ponies and babies, let's make ponies have babies. Make moar dolls and promote them in cartoon ASAP"

>>30844378
I doubt it'll happen.

>>30844524
>suddenly wings
>suddenly MarySue pupil
>suddenly alicorn baby relative
Oh, I'm not so confident.

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>>30843788
If you're motivated it won't take long. Just find some guides and draw a lot. Also
>draw every single day even if it's just one circle
>power through your fears and learn at your own pace
>try not to practice aimlessly, have a goal
>challenge yourself and try everything
>it's ok to feel like you shouldn't have started drawing at all and hate your own drawings
There, all set. If you have a purpose it will be in your interest to reach it so the motivation problem takes care of itself. Even something easy like wanting to draw cute Twiggles can carry you for a long time.

>>30844304
If you waste time thinking about the end of something all you're going to do is fulfill your own prophecy and ruin the time you have now.
Thinking about the future is not always helpful.

>>30844577
This also applies to pretty much any creatuve skill.

>>30844641
Exactly. Also if you already have some experience in learning any creative skill, picking up another one is technically not starting it from scratch.

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>>30844304
Beautiful things aren't meant to be never-ending
Immortal things are boring, because you know that you can simply stop staring at it and come back a month later, or a year later
It'll still be there

But if you know that it could fickle out of your touch in the blink of an eye, that's when you understand that you have to preserve it
That's when you find the courage to do whatever it takes to keep it going, to keep it from disappearing

Or smth like that, I'm shit at this

>>30844925
It doesn't matter if something is infinite or immortal as long as you aren't. You don't have infinite time to appreciate it.
>Immortal things are boring, because you know that you can simply stop staring at it and come back a month later, or a year later It'll still be there
First of all, there's nothing in real life that's alive and immortal so this thought doesn't really amount to anything. Second, a lot of things were here hundreds of years before you and will be here hundreds of years after you're gone, but what does it matter? Do you find old pieces of art or architecture boring just because they're old or something? Explain this logic to me.

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>>30845000
Because those old things and art pieces aren't important and close to you, silly
You don't like a thing because it's old or 'immortal', you like it because you like it, and you keep looking at it because you know that it could disappear at any moment (See fireworks, for example)
Let's take the love of your mother
It's there to stay, whatever you do or say or if you gtfo and come back years later, it'll still be there
Living with your wife has the same effect, you start believing that she'll always be there, whenever you fuck up or no matter how little amount of effort you pour into your couple
That's a big reason why long lasting couples break up

>autism about immortality
Yeah, no shit sherlock
It's just a figure of speech, dumdum
We don't live in a magical land full of small pastel horses with magic horns and whatever, of course nothing's immortal, even the fucking universe will 'die' at some point, one way or the other

>>30843625
what a beautiful little fish

>>30845022
>You don't like a thing because it's old or 'immortal', you like it because you like it
That's what I'm saying though. It doesn't matter how long it lasts, what matters is how much time you spend appreciating it. It has nothing to do with it being "boring" or whatever.
>We don't live in a magical land full of small pastel horses with magic horns and whatever
We do waifu a magical horse though. At least I assume you do. The subject of immortality has something to do with her at least.

>>30845043
Would you let her put her ovipositor inside of you and make you pregnant?

>>30845212
Gladly. But for family reasons, not for the fetish.

>>30845212
probably, yeah

>>30845212
>ovipositor
wat

>>30845283
It's male seahorses that get pregnant.

>>30845303
She looks more like a mermaid. Seahorses don't have tail fins.

>>30845231
This
I don't like buttstuff but I'll gladly take it anyway if she wants it, especially if it means starting a family with her

>>30845317
Sea horses aren't horses either, silly

>>30845381
>silly
Go to hell, dumdum.

>>30845441
No u
stoopid

>>30845448
You fuck off first, you silly goose.

>>30845868
Fuck off shipfag

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>>30845888

>>30845868
>>30845905
Shoo to your general, faggot.

>>30845500
Holy moly! I haven't said silly goose in ages!

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>>30845921
Hey, look, over there. Twilight's in estrus. Go get her, boy.

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I bet Moondancer smells.

>>30845994
lol funny shitposting

>>30845994
>>30845905
>>30845868
I fucking hate you. I bet you're poochie fag.

>>30845994
Ponies with eyebrows generally do.

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>>30840798
Are you guys satisfied with the movie? It's basically Twilight Kingdom minus Discord so entire movie is actually one big Twilight episode.

And romantic plotline only involves Rarity so there won't be any Twicuck shitposting.

If i was a Twifag i would look forward to the movie.

>>30846071
I just want some nice Twi scenes

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>>30846041
The poochie fag, a poochie fag, Poochiefag? Grammar, glimfag, grammar. It may be perfectly okay to be an uneducated moron over in the Glimmer thread, but this is a Twilight thread. Keep that in mind.

>>30846071
I'd look forward to it even if I wasn't a twifag, desu
It looks great, we're getting fucking SKYPIRATES with FLINTLOCKS
We're also getting a dozen new fetishes, like ovipositor and male pregnancies and shit
We're also getting cross breeding with the hippogriffs
We're getting more Ingram music, and it's his first big movie so I know he's gone balls to the wall for it
It's also going to bring more new blood, and some old blood even
Maybe I'll see some of these 'incomplete' or 'in hiatus' greens and fics finally being finished

Also I believe I'm going to really like the Storm King
Not donut steel tho, fuck that bitch

>>30845994
I want to see twiggy with a ponytail
How come it's not a thing in the show yet?

>>30846113
>like ovipositor and male pregnancies and shit
Right. I bet those're going to be extremely popular. It honestly feels like it's a meme forced by one anon.

>>30846130
Yeah, I was memeing loudly
Even though I'll admit that the greens in that thread did make me go unf, I don't believe it's going to be big
But dolphin pussies will
We're certainly going to get a 'Anon in seaquestria' general or something along those lines for a while
This is simply going to add more new interesting, fresh, never done before things to play with and write about
I can't fucking wait

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>>30846124
But it is.

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>>30846149
fuck you
I was really looking forward to a real pic of her with a pony tail
not a pony's TAIL

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>>30845868
>>30845905
>>30845994
so much wrong in these posts

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This entire thread must be purged.

>>30846229
What an ugly huge-eared OC. The color scheme is bad, but not bad enough to be obviously ironic. Whoever made it was serious about it. And that's sad.

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>>30846263
How can you even consider that?! There's got to be some other way.

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>>30846229
I love them all
But I think I prefer Twixie
They're just so adorable together

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>>30846071
>>30846113
I'm only worried about Grubber. Going by the trailer I'm pretty sure he's just going to be the "hilarious henchman" who ends up spouting unfunny non-sequiters at inappropriate times. Could very well end up ruining any scene he's in.
I'll be real happy if the whole movie ends up being a big Twilight episode though.

Grubber is the key to all of this. If we get Grubber working, cause he's a funnier character than we've ever had in any movies before.

>>30846144
I admire your boldness in openly showing interest in niche and unpopular fetishes, especially here of all places, where if you don't fully conform to the conventional 'horsefucker' waifufag stereotype, you're labelled as a newfag, cuck, shitposter, or <generic meme insult #4>, but I doubt much will happen. You'll probably remain the only one interested in 'cancerous' mpreg, and the general enthusiasm following the movie will die down in less than a week, with the surge of activity tapering off superexponentially for a little longer than that.

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>"Anon, you're late!"
>The princess is blocking your way inside the castle, obviously waiting for an explanation.
"Nice to see you too, Twilight. I was just picking up some books..."
>"You had a week since last Thursday to do that!"
"It was an emergency, I found something really interesting just yesterday and I was gathering some information. Now can I please come inside so we can discuss it?"
>Twilight squints her eyes in suspicion but moves to let you in. Finally you can relax in the coldness of the castle, you thought you'd have a heat stroke on the way to your friend's weekly meeting.
>It's a little thing you've been doing for a while now. You read some books and you discuss it with her once a week.
>Of course Twilight knows just about every book you can find here in Ponyville so usually it's just you telling her about your experiences and her recommending you what to read next.
>But this time you might just have something really good for her. A real gem, and with a twist too.
>Twilight seems to be intrigued by your words back at the doors so her inquisitive stare never leaves you as you both proceed to get comfy in your discussion chairs in the middle of the library hall.
>Wasting no time you take the first book out of your backpack.
"Do you know what this is, Twilight?"
>The mare's eyes are glued in awe to the cover you present to her. Her ear twitches and she blinks a few times.
>It's a small and cheap book but she's moved by it, and who wouldn't be.
>The title reads:
>"Pounded in the Ponut by My Own Ponut"
>"By Charlotte Twingle"

>>30846415
>"Oh my."
>That's all she can say, which is understandable.
"There's more."
>Next two books leave your backpack.
>"My Billionaire Human Craves Stallion Ass" and "Space Human Butt Redemption"
>Twilight looks at you, awaiting your comment. You repeat your initial question:
"You know what this is?"
>Clearing her throat the mare gets ready to explain:
>"Well, it seems to be..."
"It's porn, Twilight. And when it has me in it, it turns into gay porn. It's gay porn starring ME, Twilight."
>"I guess you could put it that way."
"What other way do I put it? Do you know anything about it?"
>"I can't say I've read all of these, but-"
"Is there more?"
>Your interrupt is so sudden Twilight almost jumps in her chair, startled by your eagerness.
>"Excuse me?"
>You might've worded this wrong because you see the mare slightly blushing. Better correct yourself before there's a totally hilarious and wacky misunderstanding.
"No, I mean, is there more of these around? They've been published for some time but I wasn't able to find a lot more here, I thought you might have them since you collect books."
>"Oh, well, I don't usually collect these kind of books but in this case yes, I have more."
>You gulp heavily. It is as you thought. This has been going on right under your nose and you had no idea until now.
>Proceeding to the shelf after Twilight you take it all in. You're a well known gay porn character.
>All those ponies who act friendly probably only do that because you're the star of their favorite ironic smut.
>You try to remember if there were any encounters you could've misinterpret as a common friendliness and now everything seems different in the light of the shocking truth.
>Actually, there's not a lot to remember. Ponies don't really approach you frequently and you never had to sign any suspicious books. Maybe you're overreacting?
>While you're having your little crisis Twilight sets up a big stack of books before you.

>>30846420
>You don't want to even see them but your eyes can't escape it. In panic you can make out the titles.

>"Space Human Butt Invasion"
>"Pounded by the Gay Princess Dress"
>"Anally Yours, the Unicorn Sailor"
>"Shared by the Chocolate Milk Glass Tippers"
>"Angry Human Pounded by the Fear of His Latent Gayness over a Unicorn Transitioning into an Alicorn"
>"This Human Butt Hosted by Anon Y Ass"
>"Pounded in the Ponut by My Book "Pounded in the Ponut by My Own Ponut""
>"Pounded in the Ponut by My Book "Pounded in the Ponut by My Book "Pounded in the Ponut by My Own Ponut"""
>"Pounded in the Ponut by My Constantly Changing Thoughts on the Ongoing Mystery of Charlotte Twingle's Real Identity"
>"Turned Gay by the Existential Dread That I May Actually Be a Character in a Charlotte Twingle Book"

>And it keeps going and going. You know there's more of them but never thought you'd unearth so many. And your friend had them all right at her side all this time.
>"Twilight, give me a straight answer. Is this... is this all gay porn?"
>"Yes, Anon. All of it."
>In visible confusion you scratch your head. Twilight awaits your judgement but you just sigh.
"That's a lot of... books."
>"Yeah."
"Have you read them?"
>"I don't think I've every single one of them but yeah."
"Well... There's one more I wanted to show to you."
>It's the ace in your hand. The only thing to keep you sane. Even in this kind of situation you can still come out on top for sure and preserve your dignity.
>Reaching in your backpack you reveal another book.
>Twilight's eyes go wide. Like she's seeing a ghost.
>The cover depicts crossed unicorn horns.
>One is dark blue but the other is basically the color of human skin. It's a bit more thick and doesn't really get sharper at its tip.
>It also lacks the detail the unicorn horn has, like it was purposely made to look basic and featureless.
>The title of the book is right above the picture and it reads:
>"A Horn in the Right Place"
>"By Charlotte Twingle"

>>30846376
This is going to have so much porn

>>30846425
>Twilight is staring at it in confusion.
"From my understanding this one is a really rare one."
>The mare's eyes light up with excitement.
>"Extremely!"
"I figured as much. I did some research on this one because it's so different from the others."
>"It is?"
"The first thing I checked was the year, and it turns out it was published some time before "No Hand Hold", the novel that brought light to Charlotte's romance in the first place."
>Twilight nods in anticipation.
"And yet this wasn't successful. I mean it's a pretty obscure thing, right? An early work of a famous writer before the popularity drained their soul."
>"Right."
>Sour. Her muzzle scrunches at your assumptions.
"I bet there's not a lot of copies of this left for sale. Makes it all the more special. But that's not the point."
>Opening the book you continue.
"I wasn't able to get a hold of that "No Hand Hold" book, but it wasn't that successful either. Both of these books share a few things, do you know what those are?"
>"It... Wasn't gay porn?"
>You nod, impressed with her answer.
"There was some, but the story is told from female's perspective, a mare who happens to be the main character of both books. She's a lilac unicorn called Violet."
>"Hmm..."
>Bookhorse gestures you to continue as you flip through the pages.
"A human is the main romantic interest and he's being courted by the female lead and a stallion, while the human himself is in love with another character, also a stallion."
>Twilight's eyes never leave you as you speak. She is patient and seem to appreciate your analysis, it's usually she who's doing all the talking.
"It's strange to me that these romance novels never saw any light because they're actually pretty complex. The smut is still pretty meh though."
>"Is it?" Twilight's eyebrows shoot up, giving up her shocked expression.
>Did she like it so much or something?

>>30846435
"Well, it's juicy but... You probably misremember it, here, let me just..."
>You flip through the pages and find your hidden bookmark. You swear you only had it for this conversation, just in case.
"Here, take a listen"
>You clear your throat and read her a passage:

It's the ultimate satisfaction, a dull ache mixed with pleasure. Every thrust, every violent movement is shaking my entire body. My mind, still incapable of comprehending the experience, is lagging behind the feeling of absolute submission that now envelops my very essence. Part of me that is still trying to form rational thoughts wants him to slow down for me to take in every last bit of this bliss a mare could only possibly feel with a human; but at the same time I wish for nothing more than to be taken beyond my limits, broken by his unyielding desire - desire to have me, just me, only me, forever. And then it comes, the release. With a mighty roar of a predator who claims his prey he fills me up to the brim and then some. It is as if there's nothing inside of me aside from his seed and as it leaks out of me it feels like I'm losing the precious gift he has given me. And when I look above I see him, towering over...

>"ALRIGHT! Alright, I get it." the mare interrupts you, blushing furiously.
"I haven't read the other book but is it really the reason why it wasn't all that popular? Target audience not approving of a female lead? I mean, maybe I'm missing something without that other one?"
>Twilight points at the stack of books.
>"I actually have a copy of "No hand hold.""
"You do? Isn't it also really rare?"
>"Not too rare for my collection."
>With that she carefully removes a book at the base of the stack with magic and gives it to you.
>There's a picture of a hand reaching out for a what you presume is a stallion's hoof, and there's the title:
>"No Hand Hold"

>>30846445
>There's no writer's name on it but opening it up the first thing you see is a really elaborate signature.
"Oh wow, you got it signed? By the mare herself?"
>"I think it was Charlotte, though it's obviously a pen name. It could've been just a public pony for giving signatures."
"Yes, it fits. I'd try to stay anonymous too if I was writing these things."
>Your grin goes unanswered. Too bad, you were waiting to make that "anonymous" joke for a while now.
>But now is the perfect moment for you to strike the unsuspecting mare.
"You know, I've been thinking."
>"Oh?" princess mutters rearranging the stack.
"I think I know who the author might be."
>Eyebrows raised Twilight immediately turns her head to you.
"If it's a pen name then it can be anyone. But I have theory. I think the writer is actually someone close to me and you."
>Twilight's eyes give you a familiar sparkle.
>"A friend of ours?"
"Maybe. It's at least a pony who has been reading all of your human publications because she really knows her stuff."
>"It was a successful book, a lot of ponies probably have read it."
>Sounds reasonable, alright.
"These books also have a lot of details in them. Something not covered in your publications. Clothing articles are curious for example, that pony knows a lot about what humans wear and how they wear it. Almost makes me think that it was some pony close to Rarity. Or maybe even the mare herself."
>"You don't think it's possible that she's the one writing these... ugh... stories?"
"No, even though I borrowed the book from her."
>Twilight frowns in disbelief. Almost in disgust.
>"Wait, Rarity was reading that?"
"Well, I didn't say she was reading it."
>She's not impressed with your answer but that's not what's on her mind right now.

>>30846451
"But the book she gave me is also signed. Though the signature on it wasn't for her. It's for Minty Steps, one of Rarity's clients."
>"I can't say I recognize that name."
"She's from Canterlot. The mare told Rarity she has met Charlotte in person."
>"That's impressive."
"You've got your signature from her as well, haven't you?"
>Twilight finally gets where you're going with this and nods.
"Can you tell me how Charlotte looks like so we can at least know if it was the same mare."
>"Well, she was wearing a dress, big sunglasses and a hat so I couldn't see her eyes or mane, and, more importantly, her cutiemark. But I think she resembles Violet. Maybe it's just my imagination thought."
"Yeah, it's exactly how Minty described it. Resembles Violet but covers herself up to not be identified"
>"That's not really enough to make any sort of conclusion."
"It's still a start, a disguise only works if it can't be identified on its own. Now, in newer works there's not a lot of details to descriptions of the human character, but in "Horn" there's tons of them. There are two special mentions to credit that at the end."
>Now Twilight gets curious. Seems like you're venturing beyond what she expected and she's out of her element.
>You have to watch her reactions closely now.
"First one is your human study publication, that's a given. The second one is curious, it says "additional details" and it's credited to a pony named Mallow Orchard. A curious flowery and purple name, which is fitting, since both stallion love interests also have interesting and flower-related names, as well as the main character who is specifically said to be a lilac shade of purple."
>Twilight is quite amused with your explanations but her ear twitch betrays her uneasiness as always. The room is getting hotter by the minute.

>>30846460
"So, checking the list of so-called human experts that you have available publicly I found no pony with that name there, which leads me to believe that it's another pen name and a dead lead. One thing I know for sure though, she had some really deep insights on the human culture, so she absolutely had to be on the list."
>"There are just ten or so ponies there." Twilight comments calmly.
>But even through that you already feel her confident outlook being threatened. She really didn't expect you to do your homework.
"So Charlotte has to be some pony who had access to the ponies on the list or at least their expertise. It would be pretty hard to track if these books were released nowadays. Luckily, we know how many ponies were on that list by the time of writing of "A Horn in the Right Place."
>"H-how many was there?"
>You smile and look Twilight in the eyes.
"Zero. There wasn't a list at the time since back then you only had two ponies who were interested in academic human studies so there was no need to make a list."
>Now Twilight's ears bend back and you can almost feel a shiver going down her spine.
"So who is Mallow Orchard? A pony who was willing to give all the juicy details to Charlotte? Who of those two ponies is that?"
>"Who?" the mare repeats after you.
"Well, it's neither. That pony never existed in the first place."
>"How do you figure?"
"Charlotte wouldn't need a pony like that but she still needed a name to cover up that very fact."
>You relax in your chair and cross your arms while Twilight is on the edge of her seat. The difference in your position right now is enough to make you dizzy.
>Yet you still prolong that moment of tension, to remember this taste.
>And then you strike the final blow.
"That's because... Charlotte Twingle is you, Twilight."

>>30846464
>You can almost hear her breaking in half. It doesn't even matter if you're right or not, this alone was worth it.
>Never before have you actually been able to outsmug the smuggest mare alive, and you probably won't ever again, but right now the victory, no matter how short-lived, is yours.
>She's frozen in place, eyes not meeting yours.
>It lasts only for a fleeting moment, but it's a moment you won't ever forget. Then the mare collects herself and her normal demeanor returns to her.
>She will try to salvage the situation and that will be her next mistake.
>"That's an interesting theory, Anon. You really did your research on this one. I can safely say that I'm proud of you."
>She sounds genuinely moved, so much that for a moment it seems to you that this is how she really feels.
>Though it's absolutely out of question that this is merely an elaborate game just to make you do some detective work, right? It has to be.
>Twilight pauses for a second and then continues in her normal tone:
>"Though I'd like to see any proofs you have, otherwise this can be pinned on a number of ponies. I could've been the advisor for the writer, not the writer."
"Who would the writer be then?"
>"Somepony close to me? Starlight? Even Spike isn't entirely out of question."
"Alright, fair enough. But I do have proof it's you."
>"You do? An actual proof that it's me?"
>The pony squints her eyes at you, trying to guess if you're bluffing.
"Yes, but before that, let's make a bet."
>"What?"
"If I make you admit it, we'll act out a part of the book exactly as it's written."
>Once again Twilight looks confused.
>"Wait, what's the catch?"
"No catch. I'll choose a chapter for us to act, you can make props with your imagination spell and so on. But we have to act it exactly how it's in the book, word to word."
>"Alright, but what if you lose?"
"I, uh, I won't?"
>"Oh come on."

File: dnbksghald.png (359KB, 529x720px) Image search: [Google]

359KB, 529x720px

>>30846425
The fuck am i reading. It's hilarious.

>>30846472
"Well, I... I dunno, I'll reshelve your books for free."
>"This whole library. Two times. And exactly on the days I need it."
"Ok, deal."
>It doesn't really matter. You won't lose.
>You don't need to be right, you said you only need her to admit it. And if you are indeed right she would actually want you to win so you can make her book reality.
>It's the perfect plan to both win the argument and get something out of it. Sometimes you really impress yourself. Now you just have to set it in motion.
>"So, care to tell me something that will convince me?"
"Jesus Christ, Twilight" you shake your damn head disappointingly.
>"What? You're the one who..."
"That's it." you point your finger toward the pony, interrupting her.
"Talking with me every day you already see this as just an expression. But other ponies don't. And you didn't back in the day."
>"What are you talking about? What's... Oh... Oh!"
>Even though she probably already knows where you're going with that you still explain.
"So you absolutely had to make a note about what "Jesus Christ" means, along with other extremely specific notes, a few pages of them actually. And I still remember exactly when I gave you the info on those topics in exactly the wording you used here."
>You open the book on another one of your bookmarks and show it to her.
"You not only explained what the phrase means, that can be found in your human study book, but also who Jesus himself is, as I said, word to word how I explained it to you back in the day. And that was something only you knew, Twilight. It wasn't published anywhere. You just had to add something specific to you, to show that you know so much about humans. Maybe that even was your trump card and a selling point back then. You just couldn't resist."
>Twilight breaks the eye contact to come up with a reply but you press on.

>>30846484
"Starlight was still your pupil when "A Horn in the Right Place" was published, she was in no shape to write and publish a romance novel. Spike, well... If it is him, you're just as guilty for enabling him, because in that case you had to proofread it and consult him. And living with a baby dragon who writes things like that... I'd feel sorry for you more than anything."
>Twilight smirks at that but she still looks concerned.
"And that's not even starting on your obsession with purple and the flowery names, I can't really use it as an argument but come on."
>"Hmph!"
"So, you're going to deny it?"
>She finally looks you in the eye with a sour expression. But you feel that she's more sad that she's lost this little game than about you uncovering her secret identity.
>You wouldn't do anything horrible to her like blackmailing but still, she's taking it rather well considering you hold all the cards here.
>"No, you're right. Maybe I didn't consider that anypony close to me will ever read these books. And now you have, and Rarity too. Maybe it was inevitable, you just had to dig deep enough to find everything out."
"Well, to be honest it wasn't that easy and I got lucky with getting a rare old book."
>Wait, are you trying to soften the blow now? She does look a bit sad.
>No matter, you already had your triumph.
>"You must think I'm such an idiot."
>And here goes your heart, sinking.
"What? Twilight, I-"
>"And a pervert. Now that you know the kind of things I publish."
"That's not the point. I do wonder though, why me? And why turn me gay?"
>"Oh, come on, it's not like it's about you as an actual person."
>Crossing your arms on your chest you feel like it's your time to get salty.
"Any other humans you modeled your human character after?"
>"You must understand that it's a character though, it's not you. Just like Violet is not me."
"Well I don't like that character all that much."

>>30846497
>"Because of the sexuality?"
"Not only that. He's gay, but more importantly he's a faggot, a spineless easy-to-get faggot who's either brooding or fucking."
>Twilight chuckles at this description and shrugs.
>"Well, what can you do, sometimes it just writes itself."
>Oh no. She's going back to the smug mode. You're losing control of the situation. You lose your tempo for a second there and she's getting right out of your hold.
>Was that actually calculated? But you can't let go of this conversation now.
"But don't you think he could've been better? There's a lot of character traits to explore here, so..."
>You suddenly stop after realizing that Twilight is showing you her signature smirk.
>"Oh? What are his character traits, Anon? Please, do tell."
>The mare teleports a parchment and a quill to herself, ready to write down your insights.
>That's such an obvious bait. But you're gonna have to bite it, you have no choice. You can't back off now. So you at least try to approach it seriously.
"Well, generally I would describe Anon as a lovable goof."
>"Alright, that's a start."
"He's witty..."
>"Mhm."
"Sarcastic..."
>"Aha."
"Sometimes a tease..."
>"Sometimes? But not all the times?"
"No, not all, he gets serious when he needs to show that his heart was at the right place to not overdo it with teasing."
>"Wow, sounds like something that would require some astounding profound understanding of those he tease."
"Naturally, that's another thing, he's pretty perceptive, but not when it comes to romance."
>"Oh! Can't forget that."
>Twilight keeps scratching with a cheerful expression. No worries left in the mare.
>You know you're way past the point of no return and she's going to tear you apart later, but for now she lets you wallow in your delusions about how to write your own character.

>>30846502
"I'm not saying that Anon can do no wrong but you can't focus only on his bad side. If the story itself is positive but in the end it all crashes down around him that doesn't make a very satisfying ending."
>"Why not?"
"If the tone of the story wasn't setting this up you'd just kick your readers down from some innocent and pleasurable romantic vibes into exploration of character's failures and shortcomings. Unless this sudden turn of events was your goal right from the start and you just want to slap your reader across the face as hard as you can."
>Now Twilight just nods. Maybe you're not actually doing that bad? Can you salvage your situation?
"The way you handled the ending in "A Horn" was pretty grim if you ask me, but it worked perfectly because of how you set it up. It's a love triangle, a love rectangle even, that just can't be solved without someone getting the short end of the stick."
>"That's exactly how I felt about it" the mare nods some more.
"But in the end it wasn't Anon who got shafted. Why? With the way you've been writing him at the time he deserved it. He's an utter failure, Twilight. With how he's written he doesn't deserve anything good."
>She sighs and puts her quill and paper aside. Her smugness isn't all gone but she hesitates to answer.
"Is this... Is this really how you see me?"
>This time she is quick to respond, as if to reassure you:
>"Oh no, it has nothing to do with you as a person. What you've described to me as your "traits" are personal things, but the character I've written is not you."
"But it's still-"
>"I think you missed the point of that. It's the same with homosexuality. The stories are not necessarily about it, it's not what I wanted to describe with it."
"What was it then? I think making me a homo was a pretty telling decision even without any context."
>"It's because you can't see how you're perceived by our society, Anon."

>>30846509
"Don't tell me that was actually a social commentary disguised as gay porn."
>"Well, I can't really deny it either."
>Crossing your arms on your chest you scoff at the pony and roll your eyes in dismissive disbelief.
>"Look, the way an average pony sees you is a bit different from how you see yourself or how I see you. You're that big alien creature from a world that's much colder and harsher than ours. You braved it day by day and became hardened by it."
"Yeah, don't make me blush here."
>"Think about what you show them when you're in public at different events and holidays. You're strong but solemn. You act cheerful but your jokes ooze with melancholy and self-deprecation. When you party, you drink first and have fun later. It's all been documented and it's a very common theme among those who are interested in you now."
"Is it?"
>"Yes. Ponies love how reckless you are and how you're dismissive towards your own problems, both current and past, and how you laugh about your own misery. They see you as impenetrable, as someone who conquers their own life and smiles through anguish. All while carrying a burden on your shoulder so heavy it would crush someone not as hardened as you."
"That's how they see me?"
>"Those you care about you, yes. But I strip it all off because that's what they want to see even more. They want to see past the facade, they want to see a different you, a vulnerable you, they want to see you when you turn around and face your fears."
>"They want to see that at the end of the day you're just like them, so distant and alien yet just like a regular pony. That you still want nothing more than to be loved. That you need companionship, friendship, someone next to you to keep you strong, to share your life's burdens with you."

>>30846517
>"Because they feel the same. They may look cheerful and content, but they still crave it more than anything - and so do you. It's especially true for stallions, who don't often show these emotions even if they want to."
"Wait, don't tell me that's why..."
>"This kind of relationship makes you open up the most. You have to accept yourself on the deepest level to partake in it. It is, in the end, symbolic to everyday struggles of those you can't afford to be honest with themselves. And this is why Violet lost in the end."
>Your face is buried in your palms now, unable to decide if she's trying to bait you or if she really means that.
>"The comfort Anon was needing was something that Violet in her selfishness and self-righteousness just couldn't provide. She was smart but she was manipulative. She had her own goals other than Anon's happiness and that's why I could not let her win. No matter how broken he was, no matter how much of a failure he was, Anon deserved better. He wasn't going to find his rest in her hooves."
>The change of tone kicked you out of your safe lane and now you don't know what to say. She did think that through.
>Her explanation is just part of the plan to overwhelm you. Well, it did work a bit, you can't make out what of that was really about you and what was about the character.
>And if that was also about her and you. Her self-insert has lost but she herself isn't like that, you actually think she's more akin to the character who did get Anon in the end. Does that mean anything to her?
>Fuck, does ANY of that actually mean anything? Is she just making it up to cover up her true intentions with that book, to ship you with some stallions and make you fuck her self-insert on the side?
>You're supposed to be the winner here but instead you're getting crushed by doubt, afraid to take a step on this multilayered minefield of a ruse. You just can't figure her out right now.

>>30846519
>But then it dawns on you. It doesn't really matter. That's not for you to worry about.
"But Twilight..."
>"Yeah?"
>You look around you and just say the only thing you can come up with right now to at least make her doubt herself.
"No matter the context or allegories, or any deeper meaning, in the end it's just an excuse to write a book full of cheap smut."
>The princess smirks and covers her mouth to laugh.
>"Oh course it is!"
>Hear laugh spells doom in your head. That's it. She's perfectly self-aware. Your last attempt at shaking her up failed and she's on top again.
>"That's what draws the audience in the most, that is all the middle-aged mares who read this cheesy romance shlock. Do you think any of them cares about my social commentary?"
>That sounded a bit too bitter for your taste. Even though Twilight is now smug as ever you don't feel like her rant is actually all that triumphant.
>"There's nothing they love more than reading about strong stallions being passionate. The more masculine the better, but masculine with relatable feelings and struggles so they can feel compassion. It's as simple as that."
>Twilight rolls her eyes but she looks far from amused.
"So wait, is the social commentary actually what you meant?"
>"Yes, it's all in there, it's what I meant when writing it. Do you think anypony cares? It's just the reality of this market, Anon. It's just a thing I add on my own, and nowadays I don't even bother because it's the bizarre sarcastic smut that has given Charlotte a cult following, not entry-level allusions to modern Equestria's struggles. It's all just something silly Charlotte does for fun while the real meat of the story is the gay sex. Do you think..."
>She stands up now, eyes sparkling with vengeance. It's a bit scary.

>>30846527
>"Do you think any of those housewives care about actual work I put in there? Not once did I get any feedback involving my references or my humor, or my philosophical musings, or just simple nods to other author's works that inspire me!"
>"Have I ever received a letter saying anything about it, even one simple acknowledgment? Oh, Charlotte, that obscure song reference was so on-point! Oh, Charlotte, you were reading that one book at the time, it really shows! No, none of that. But oh no, I get tons of letters about how dreamy the stallions and Anon are, along with "suggestions" about what scenarios they want to see next, one more vulgar than the other! It's the same reasons all my other works didn't sell, maybe there's just no market for it, you've got..."
"Wait a second!"
>Twilight stops in her tracks and bites her tongue, realizing she probably said something she shouldn't have.
"Other works?"
>Blushing, the mare explains in a tame voice, so sudden after her passionate rant:
>"Well, I tried to publish my earlier works of fiction but they were probably just not good enough so..."
"Now you're saying this? You write something other than cheap smut?"
>"I tried my hoof at different genres but none of those had any success."
"That's rich, can you show it? You still have them just like you have your other books, right? I bet they're signed too."
>The furious but shameful glare she shoots at you is followed by a really intense muzzle scrunch. Were you too rough?
>"Why, so you can discredit my other works as well? You already made your point."
"Twilight..."
>"You didn't do enough, huh? Why stop at the mare's attempts at actually becoming a popular writer at a price of creativity and artistic integrity, right? Gotta dig deeper? Aren't I a silly pony, having aspirations and wanting others to enjoy my works even if I'm just-"

>>30846535
"Hey, weren't you listening to me? I did see the deeper meaning behind those two books so why do you think I just want to give you shit over the others? Isn't that what your other readers who only know you for you current works would do?"
>This stops the raging princess at least for a moment. She's considering it.
>You nod reassuringly, hoping you didn't actually hurt her, seeing how defensive she got.
>Still unsure Twilight grumbles something but then teleports a few books right in front of her.
>"Well, alright, there was this little drama thing."
>She gives you the "little" thing that's actually a big thick book. No picture on the cover, it just reads:
>"The Stable Condition"
>As you flip through pages Twilight comments:
>"It's a story about a unicorn field medic who gets involved in world-saving business. She has to tend to something like a hero pony squad only to realize there's a lot of tension between those ponies. She has to get to know them, interact with them and help solve the problems in their squad, offering a unique perspective. I've got the idea for it a long time ago but it wasn't until..."
>You stop paying attention to the storytime-mode mare as you find a random page near the very end of the book and read:

...already see it - in my eyes, in my posture, in my careful movements. Just by seeing how I walk out from the ward they already know their friend is staying on that hospital bed for good.
- Doctor? - the youngest one calls meekly.
- I... have some news for you, fillies.
This is the only answer I can muster and I see their hearts breaking already. Might as well tell them the rest.
- I'm afraid...
Afraid. Such a powerful word coming from a mare of my position. It's enough to make anypony panic, not just three scared fillies who can barely comprehend the gravity of what's happening before them right now.
- I'm afraid Merry Weather has Magical Mystery Condition. It's terminal.

>>30846544
As I thought, they can't understand what it means yet. But the oldest speaks out:
- You mean... She'll lose her wings? Permanently? She'll never be able to fly again?
Choking back tears she can't speak another word. The poor heart doesn't even realize how bad it is. And, of course, it's up to me to tell them the whole truth. Way to go, Violet.
- Yes, but... - I stop to find the right words. - That's not all. If this condition gets worse she may not recover at all.
I'm the one fighting tears now. Not the uncontrollable bawling that these fillies are about to break into; it's the bitter, searing tears of life's injustice. I know that it was Merry Weather who saved these fillies. She was the one who saved her friends too. And even though those ponies are now in their beds next to hers, they're not the ones who will be gone in a month at best.
It was not for these fillies to know that Merry's friends probably won't make it as well. It's still unconfirmed. But the fact is that, in the end, Merry won't even outlive her friends. The thought of such cruelty is...

>"Anon, you still there?"
"Yeah, I was just reading. I can see why this wouldn't sell here, feels a bit heavy."
>Twilight looks away for a second. Is she ashamed of this work?
"What else do you have?"
>"Eh, there's one more, it's a space fantasy novel."
>It's an even bigger book, probably way more than a thousand pages long.
>The cover is a monochrome stylized image of a unicorn emerging from some sort of a cloud. Below that is the title:
>"Lektor: Terminal Redux"
>You look at Twilight and she explains:
>"It's a story about a power-hungry unicorn who found a way to transcend time while he was in isolation in deep space and so he travels the galaxy to consume the magic of..."
"Alright, I got it."

>>30846554
>The mare is annoyed that you stopped her and seeing how you just dismiss the work completely doesn't help her condition.
>"Not even gonna read it, huh?"
"It sounds pretty edgy but I'll borrow them for later."
>"Will you now?"
"Why not? These are still books and I love to read. But I guess I get what you mean. I doubt an average pony would read that."
>"Exactly."
>For a moment you both stay silent. Twilight is seated now and she's calming down while you still hold the book without doing anything with it.
>There's just not much to say anymore. This exercise in futility has drained you. You thought you had so much vigor in you but now you're a bit lost, seeing all of this and hearing Twilight's stories.
>The pony is the first to speak:
>"Soooo... About that acting out a scene from the book..."
>You completely forgot about that. You'd think that the mare would too but maybe she's trying to lighten up the mood?
>But you can only give her a heavy sigh as a reaction to that.
"Forget it, Twilight."
>"W-what?"
>Is she honestly surprised? She looks disappointed. Was she actually looking forward to it?
>Well, it makes sense, as you thought it wasn't really a punishment for losing the bet. Maybe it would've been something you can both enjoy. But the moment is lost.
"I don't really want to do it anymore. You know, I thought I'd come here, tease you about your books, then pick a chapter to reenact, the one right before the smut starts, but only that chapter - to tease you more."
>Twilight gulps.

>>30846565
"But what then? Where would this go, how would it end? Am I to continue with acting against my better judgement, just to see how far are you willing to take it? So we end up in bed even though there's no reason for it other than that, how far are we willing to go? And where do we go from there? Go our separate ways like nothing happened or maybe become a couple? Is this scenario really enough to prompt such a development?"
>"Or better yet, I, being fed up with teasing, would force the action when you refuse to go on with the play and it would seem like I'm just jumping at the opportunity to have sex like it has always been my endgame, even though there's no indication that it's what I actually want aside from the books that aren't necessarily a reflection of my own desires. That would only mean I merely needed an excuse, and on top of being a bit rape-y it would be really ironic to see it end like that after what was said here - about the deeper meaning and believable interactions contrasted by ridiculous setups that only serve as a way to excuse the porn."
"Transitioning that into a sex scene would be something right out of those books - a vulgar, cheap and opportunistic payoff that would invalidate the setup completely, making our previous conversation absolutely meaningless. It would defeat the whole purpose of what we've discussed here today."
>"But then the question is - if not that, then what? Is it not better to end on a brighter note than not end at all? Isn't any sort of payoff better than no closure at all?"
>She looks at you with hope, almost pleading. There has to be a better way to resolve this. But you can't see it. You want this to be a happy end for both of you but you just can't grasp it. You're exhausted and you just want to be free from this conversation and these thoughts.
>You want to feel good about yourself and you want the same for Twilight. But isn't that ironic that it's the kind of thing you can't afford right now?

>>30846572
"I just don't know anymore. All of this is honestly kinda depressing."
>"What? Why?"
"I dunno, I'm just not feeling it anymore. I'm sorry, Twilight."
>"I knew it! You're such a tease!" she exclaims, stomping her hoof in cutely exaggerated frustration.
"Oh well, maybe my plan to tease you was a success after all."
>You give her a weak smile, still trying to turn this into something salvageable. To no avail. Twilight settles down, probably realizing that you're not playing right now.
>It probably came out bitter so she's a bit concerned now, sitting in her chair silently and looking away.
>"It's ok, I'm not mad at you or anything, can we just forget about all this?"
>And now you're making her sad because you're sad. Faggot.
>What was the point of it all then? Are you going to finish it on such a sour note?
"What was the point then?" you say.
>"What was the point then?" she says.

"what was the point then?" you repeat out loud, finally giving up and putting your quill down.
>Writing it down a few times didn't help so no wonder saying it didn't help as well.
>Spilling your concerns on the paper as a character dialog wasn't the smartest thing you've done too. Now you'd have to re-write this segment if you ever return to it.
>You recline in your special romance writing chair and sigh, looking at the crystal ceiling.
>This thing went nowhere pretty fast. You have no choice but to admit that the idea was weak right from the start and sitting on it for a few days wasn't good enough.
>At first you were content with finishing it on a lewd note but actually writing the setup that was supposed to lead to it somehow made you a bit sad.
>It's the whole writer thing that ruined it.
>Would that happen for real if you decided to publish your works? You'd be exposed just like that if you used a pen name as well.
>Closing your eyes you clear your head for a second. Then you catch a stray thought about wanting Anon's opinion on this whole thing.

>>30846578
>No, you can't do it. Maybe later when...
>When you get a bit closer?
>Just as you open your eyes and your already hazy gaze glances over your clock on the table you remember what day it is.
>Anon should be here any moment now! He's never late on Thursdays after all.
>For a second there you think you should just dispose of that failure of a story and start something different later. But you know you're not going to, you've learned to fight these urges.
>You'll just shelve it with the rest, never showing it to anypony.
>Walking up to the door you also think about turning that story into a meta-commentary, just for laughs.
>Nah, it won't work. It never works. Whatever. You decide to stop dwelling on it for now.
>You have a wonderful day with your reading buddy ahead of you and you can't let anything spoil it for you.
>Right on time you hear a few knocks and open the castle doors before Anonymous.
"Hey, Anon, good to see you!"
>"Hey, Twilight, likewise."
>He smiles at you and you smile at him. Everything is good.
>You two proceed to the hall and as you spot his backpack full of books all the little problems finally leave your head.

The End.

>>30846331
Well, idk
I hated antman, if not for Grubber, actually, it's the only part of the movie I can 'kinda' remember
I think it'll be fine, at worst he'll just be the jar jar binks binks and he'll only have like ten minutes of screen

>>30846376
>openly showing
dude, we're on an anonymous site, on a board about pastel talking horses, in a thread made for autists to type how much they love their imaginary love-friend and how much they want to fuck her and how many times etc etc
I write stories about my self insert making love and impregnating her, and even about us being married and having kids and imagine this shit on the daily
There's not an ounce of shame left in me, and I can't even bring myself to give one single fuck about this kind of shit because I know that the only people that would actually make fun of me for this kind of shit are either shitposters trying to get (you)s or summerfriends that have many, many things to learn

And I don't think I'll be the only one interested in that shit, Anon
That thread lasted for a long time, and was posted in hiatus
We'll just have to wait and see what happens with the movie

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>>30846583
That's the end of it, finally. This is what happens when you let your autism ruin a sweet short joke by mashing it with another subplot you never managed to finish on its own. Oh well. I'll try better next time, I promise.

>>30846588
>That thread lasted for a long time, and was posted in hiatus
refresh my memory on which one

>>30846618
I believe it was the first one
With only ovipositor as the OP
The next ones didn't go well

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>>30846629
>The next ones didn't go well
I did push that thread and thought it was going to die in 50 posts.That bump limit was history,I couldn't believe it got that far and there was very little content back then

>>30846653
https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30226467
Yeah, like I said, it was a really interesting thread
That's why it lasted so long and brought so many people, while being a dumb shitpost
And that's why I believe it'll be kinda big when the movie comes out

fuck, the small greens in there really are top unf
is there no end to degeneracy
I'll have to watch documentaries and shit on dolphins and seahorses to write interesting stories

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>>30846679
it's funny because I had to make things like I never did
it was a shitpost created by some faggot around there and then I brought the images

even write green for the first time...then a couple of anons were discussing biology of how it works and while I was sleeping some were bumping it

I was feeling like a pioneer and making edits because of lack of content..only because I liked the designs revealed back then

it was fun and at the same time a hell,thinking about genious bumps but I hardly doubt I could keep one while the show is airing

>>30846679
I loved that thread because of all the comfy family things on top of lewdness. It was a new spin on that topic and I really enjoyed it. I'd read more elaborate greens about it, the whole seahorse super-marriage thing and worrying little overprotective Twiggy melts my heart just by thinking about it. Doesn't even need to be lewd, just that would be enough.

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Sometimes, Twilight ties herself up in vulnerable positions, waiting for you to find her.

>>30846887
WTF?!

>>30846592
N-no (You)s?

This was absolutely fantastic, I'm baffled as to why no one else has said so. Please keep writing, it sucks that you don't get any recognition.

For shame, ntt. For shame.

>>30846936
It's a decent sized green, I have to get home first to read it

>>30846861
Oh yes, that's what made my heart go dokki dokki, not imagining her ovipositor entering my anus
There was barely any of that, actually

>>30846936
Dude, did you see the size of that green
I'll read it later, I swear

>>30846951
>>30846949
NO EXCUSES

>>30846592
And to add something I forgot to say before, that ending was 9/10. Glad to see something legitimately clever.

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>>30846936
>>30846975
Thanks, anon, I'm glad to see someone actually liked it.

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>>30846951
it was something blank...only anons brought ideas at random
it ended that way without expecting anything and I enjoy reading it more now than back then and keeping the thread alive

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>>30846887
Why not post the full image? It's mostly SFW except for the juice dripping from her.
That tail wrap is hot.

A pony's tail is not prehensile

>>30846592
I don't know what to say
So, for one, fuck you, because reading shit like that makes me realize how bad a writer I am and that I'll certainly never get there
You, and darf, and chuck, and all the other faggots that surely have diplomas in literature or whatever

Also fuck you for giving me the hopes of it becoming a super sweet story with a heart throbbing ending
Especially because it had a really, really obscure fetish of mine, of her finding out about me writing about her (I mean, the inverse of this, but you get the point)
Instead we got this super bittersweet non-ending...

And finally, great job, but I need a pastebin because I'll need to read it again some day

>>30846592
10/10 greentext
8/10 otherwise

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>>30846517
>"Don't tell me that was actually a social commentary disguised as gay porn."
Woah, where did my sides go? I swear they were here a second ago

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>>30828342
Up through Over a Barrel, still not quite an hour, 59:54. File size is 54.7 MB (I increased compression again). Next update will probably be complete season 1 and maybe even the video version uploaded somewhere.

I'm actually not bored yet of this project, just wish I had more time to work on it. I really get a kick out of listening to her whenever I want. Have sorta stopped listening to music even, I just put on Twi. What is my life?

https://media.pone.tube/twivoice/s1.mp3

>>30846517
>drink first and have fun later
Oof, right in the feels

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>>30848686
this is literally what the project looks like rn lol.

>>30848686
>>30848703
Bloody legend. How long does a season take you? I'll be free from assignments and exams in two weeks and I'd gladly help you. That is, prvided you haven't finished anything.

Also, i noticed background music in the audio. Why not use the episode audio without BG music?

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>>30848735
>episode audio without BG music
know where I can get that?

Assuming you mean 5.1 soundtracks. Some of my older episodes (transcoded from yayponies) don't have a 5.1 track (I transcoded them a long time ago and didn't know what I was doing). I'm thinking before I finish S1 I may go back and try to replace the 2 track audio with 5.1 in place, tho I'll probably have to go back and re-edit each of those episodes. But even the 5.1 tracks don't get rid of all the BGM.

Going forward, everything will be 5.1 with the left/right and surround channels muted. It does sound a lot better.

>>30848759
http://www.mlptf2mods.com/tutorials/resource-materials/

Dunno if this fits what you do, I'm no audio wizard.

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>>30848735
Oh, as for how long it takes, T-B-H I began working on this about 18 months ago, but I dropped it for the longest while and came back to it around 8/4. Took a week off for BronyCon, so maybe 3 weeks to finish off S1. I think future seasons will go quicker because there's less Twi content.

And back to my 5.1 conversation in >>30848759, if you look at the pic in >>30848703 the 5.1 tracks are at the bottom and the 2 tracks are above them.

>>30848782
thanks for the link, i'll go over it and see if i can make it work. it'll create much larger source files for me, but if the quality is worth it then i'll just go back and do the S1 eps again. I may be able to replace the source files in place.

Your waifu is a horse!

>>30848782
well, thanks for keeping me up an hour later. I finally got it to work, so future updates may be pretty delayed as I go back and re-work the old audio. It does sound much nicer.

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>>30849021
Y-you're welcome

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>You will never feel her warm chest on your face

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Twilight has nothing better to do right now, and neither do you. Do you know what that means?

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>>30849347
We're mating again?

>>30849347
>anthro
It means she's going straight into the trash

>>30849347
But she's already pregnant
I can't get her even MORE pregnant
Or can I

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>>30849347
Intense cuddling?

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So soft, so warm.

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>>30848210
>>30847497
Thank you.
https://pastebin.com/ZMJLzC8D
>it had a really, really obscure fetish of mine
Not that obscure since I have it as well.

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>>30849576
Yeah, I had a feeling that was you
Thanks my dude

And if you ever feel like writing some more about this, don't hesitate

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SHE'S JUST A FUCKIN FICTIONAL HORSE! WAKE UP SHEEPLE! YOU CAN STILL HAVE GREAT LIVES! RUN AWAY FROM THIS PLACE! RUN AND NEVER COME BACK

Reminder to not reply to the bait, not acknowledge it.

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>>30846592
Absolutely excellent, please write moar green.

>>30840798
*teleports behind u*
heh, nothing personal, anon

>>30849761
>having a great life without your waifu
Lmao, how delusional are you?

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>>30849785
>Everything contrary to my delusional worldview is bait.

God I'm so glad I won't end up like you.

Twilight is a great horsey, but you need to wake your brain the fuck up.

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>>30849785
Does it feel good? Does it feel good pushing eachother down in the muck that is the social heirarchy? To give yourselves brownie points for falling in love with nothing but illusion? Would Twi really want that for you? Would she want you to chase after her like some phantom? You betray the spirit of the pretty poner who you worship. Look deep within yourself Anon... Do you feel it?

maybe next time try your bait when people are actually awake

>>30850062
But having a waifu doesn't stop you from doing other things and having an interesting life.
>but you have to get a gf
No i don't, if they need me that badly then they can wait.

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>you finally get home after a long day
>a very soft purple princess teleports into your arms
>you lose your balance but she softens your fall with her magic
>she wants kisses

>>30850669
Well she's gonna have to wait until I've taken a dump.

>>30851304
OH SHIT TWILIGHT THAT DARK MAGIC BOOK IS ILLEGAL HIDE IT BEFORE CELESTIA FINDS OUT

>>30849347
Reading session.

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I'm going to a psychiatrist tomorrow for the first time since I was a teenager. Should I tell him about Twilight? Not sure how this'll all go down.

>>30851384
I'd say not to fully reveal your power level, but then again, I'm the kind of person who lies about his mental issues to everyone.

>>30851433
Aren't they bound by law to keep my degenerate shit a secret?

>>30851384
Not straight away desu. Make sure you like the person as well.

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Twilight has an important message.

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How do you think Twilight would react to a procrastinating Anon? I mean a real procrastinator not the one usually used in green where all he does is read, but I mean one who is like Pinkie Pie or Rainbow Dash but in all the wrong ways, a normal by earth standards procrastinator?
Personally I think she'd react in a mix of ways, a mix of how curious, and aggravated she got when trying to figure out Pinkie Sense and also bored by the fact that there would be basically nothing to observe

So, if you had to choose
Unicorn?
or
Alicorn?
There is no "both".

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>>30851763
Depends
If it's something that doesn't really matter, she'll just scowl at him and tell him to DO IT, give him a little speech and when she finds out he just doesn't feel like it she'd give up
But if it's something big, especially something that is important to her or that they share, she'd be assertive, pic related
And I'm talking about her and him being friends, not strangers, of course

>>30851847
I never get tired of watching this webm.

>>30851595
I know there's more to her than just books. There's also estrus, for example.

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>>30851763
It depends on a lot of things. How invested is she in you or what are your responsibilities and so on. But I think that generally as your friend she would want the best for you, and that is to have you do something with your life, especially if you have ambitions. You're given a second chance in the perfect world, you shouldn't be wasting it.

I think at some point she would even start forcing you to do something. Lack of discipline can be fixed fairly easily and in a lot of clever, subtle ways. She'd also motivate you to do things you want to do but don't bother. It would take some time for her to figure you out but once she does she'll be able to help you, even if you don't care for it. Especially if you live under her roof. Not even talking about owning her anything, I think that would matter for her less than your mental health and ability to actually live your life to its fullest now that you're in Equestria.

>>30846592
Man that was just a really well put together and endearing story, props to you.
Makes me want to actually start writing again.

>>30851832
An alicorn is a unicorn, so there is "both".

>>30851983
No it isn't you loophole making faggot.
It's twigs minus wings or twigs with wing gayboi.

>>30851595
these days it's more like "there's more to me than just neurotic breakdowns"

>>30843586
>human fucks pony
>pony has little ponies
Makes perfect sense.

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>>30851832

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>>30851975
>Makes me want to actually start writing again.
You know what to do.
Don't let your dreams be dreams.

>>30851990
Or, equivalently, a plain unicorn or winged unicorn.

>>30851996
I was talking about satyrs, Anon

>>30852004
B-but i'm such a shit writer.
I'll give it shot when i can.

>>30852008
Ha, I have a response to that too. She's not real.

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>>30852014
Prove it

>>30852017
Newton's flaming laser sword.

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>>30852017
Utterly elementary, my dear anon. See, nothing's real, no entity, no object is real, not even you. She's an entity, ergo she's not real either. QED.

>>30852029
We can be not real together, while having not real unreal sex.

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>>30851832
>unicorn
>a horn
>alicron
>also a horn but also wings and a longer neck
Alicorn=more Twilight to love. Easy as that.

>>30852034
And you can play Unreal Tournament 3 together while you're not really having sex.

>>30852041
That's not how it works my zigga

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>>30852066
Why not? Seems pretty logical to me.

>>30852068
I guess you can't measure love with a pair of wings and a longer giraffe neck.

>>30852088
You can if you're a logical creature of logic.

>>30852088
I don't measure love itself in that, there's more of a mare to adore, hug and kiss when she has wings, that's all.

>>30851832
Alicorn of course
>wingjobs
>more things to play with, and another part of her to worship
>my princess/knight fetish would become real
>as much as I loved the treebrary, it was way too small for a dozen kids

>>30852142
>my princess/knight fetish would become real
As much as I know Twilight isn't about that and doesn't really care about being a princess as a status thing, especially not wanting anyone to serve her, I still find the idea interesting. Any greens about that? Aside from that edgy one.

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>>30852425
Don't think there is
Maybe in those obscure generals like guards mares or maybe in RGRE?

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>>30852457
Well, anon, better get to writing it then. Or drawing it. Would you do it for your lady?

>>30852498
>would you do it
Fuck you, of course I want to do it
But I can't, it'd end up as another '100k 'planned' words fic' that'll never be finished, and the theme would force me to write sad shit and dramas and whatever
I'd rather write more comfy feelsgood SoL about our life as young parents and whatever
I'm just way too autistic and get way too emotionally involved to write long fics

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Fuck you all, Twilight as an unicorn is way better and cuter.

>>30852599
She's the same, dumbfuck
Go doompost and whine about twilicorn in another thread

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>>30852617
Why would I do that?

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>>30852581
>and the theme would force me to write sad shit
But also heroic and glorious shit. But probably mostly sad, yeah. I feel you, man, it's a difficult topic, both technically and emotionally. I feel like it's not something you can just sit and write.
But just so you remember, comfy family SoL is also always welcomed because it's the best thing ever

>>30853284
where's my episode hasbro

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>>30853293
M-maybe in season 8? Or 9? Surely we'll get it eventually.

>>30853293
>>30853722
Who cares, rarara a shit

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>>30853761
That's just rude.

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Waifufags, what does Twi look like in your fantasies? In my head she looks like she does in the show, but what about you? Does she look more realistic? What details are different? Is your mental image of her based on some fanart?

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>>30854009
I try to imagine her as show-accurate as I can afford to, though her size varies depending on the situation. She's always small enough for me to spoon her but always big enough to look me in the eyes when she's on top of me.

>>30854009
When comedy, show accurate
But when it becomes intimate she becomes way more realistic
Something between bluedrg19's ponies and dimwitdog's
Maybe dankflank's more accurate
It just depends on the fantaisies' needs

>>30854009
Pretty much as she does in the show, like most ponies, while still being sort of realistic but not too weird as to induce uncanny valley. Size is about 5 foot when standing I'm a tall boy
Unless I'm having one of those "tiny anon is really tiny compared to the ponies and used that to his strategic advantage" fantasies. Those ones are weird, but a refreshing change from the usual.

>>30854009
Since the movie trailer came out, I've seen her in the movie's art style.

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Twiggy wants some snacks.

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>>30854409

>>30854409
>>30854617
>swn pin you down on the bed as she eats your chips in front of you
why live

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>>30854091
>5 feet tall
That's almost as tall as me

>>30854852
I'm 6'9, so it works out for me

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>>30854852
Keep those little teeth away from my ankles big boy.

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>mfw 5'5
I-I'm sure she wouldn't mind
She could even like it
right?

>>30855034
Sorry bro, 6' is the manlet cutoff.

>>30855042
But she could find it cute
and maybe even tease me about it

>>30855049
I mean yeah, sure, it's your afterlife, not mine. I am sorry you had to be a manlet though, anon. I remember when I was 5'5. I was a wee lad, only about 13 years old.

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>>30855055
>5'5
>dubs
what did he mean by this

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>>30855042
>mfw 5'11"
rip me

>>30848686
Well I modified the method given in >>30848782 and have almost completely eliminated most background noise (except other ponies talking simultaneously). Of course, I'll probably have to go back and re-do season 1 entirely (pic also related), but here's about 15 minutes of the new stuff through episode 3. Lemme know if you like the sound. oh, i also pulled the bit of singing from the theme, pls don't hate

https://media.pone.tube/twivoice/s1cleaned.mp3 (11.8 MB)

>>30855510
Sounds noticably better. Cheers friend.
Tall anon is lying, manlet cutoff is 5'11. You're safe

>>30855555

>>30855510
King of manlets.

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Gotta go!

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>>30856432
...fast!

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>>30856432
>>30856530
gotta go fast!

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>>30856561
ENGAGE

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>>30856647
VERY FAST MARE MOVING AT VERY HIGH VELOCITY

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>>30856662
H-HAYAI!

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>>30856432
>>30856662
prancing purple pony

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>>30856728
I bet she sets a mean score in DDR

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>this will never be the first thing you see when you wake up

>>30857156
Well obviously, the treebrary is already ded when I get there

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Is it just my stockholm syndrome or has the castle started to have that same comfy feel that the treebrary did? More room=more books

>>30857602
it's not as comfy, no

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>>30857602
More room = more places to fuck

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>>30857602
The castle is cool, but it's no treebrary. It would have been so much better if the kept the Golden Oak, and put the castle elsewhere. And brought Sunset to live in the treebrary as Twilight's apprentice instead of having Starlight shit up every episode.

>>30857806
The fact that some EQGfags are serious about this is quite saddening. Stay in your highschool threads

>>30857156
>>30857165
And her old bed is WAY too small for me anyway even if I'm a manlet

>>30857806
Replace starshit with glim glam and you've got yourself a cracker of a deal

>>30857602
I've liked the castle's interior since I first saw it. It looks terrible from the outside but inside it's beautiful. I may be biased as blue is my favourite colour.

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>>30857602
>same comfy feel that the treebrary
No, I don't think it's nearly the same. Treebrary had an entirely different feel to it. The castle isn't comfy. Though Twilight's room is good, and at least she has one now. And the library is big. And also what >>30857973 said, the new bed is just the right size to fit us both perfectly. Even has two pillows already.

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>>30857156
>wale up every morning and see this every day instead

>>30859155
It's better than nothing

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>>30857156
I never noticed how large Twilight's rump under the covers in that picture.
I like it even more.

>>30859398
Could be her tail tho

>>30859531
Her tail? How would it even work?
That's not where tails go, Anon

>>30859398
I feel like I get the joke in that picture, but I'm not sure I do because it really isn't /that/ funny.

>>30859572
The joke isn't the bad nerdy pun, but that's she's making the bad nerdy pun.

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She desperately needs your soft dexterous hands again

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>>30860144
You desperately need to get laid.

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>>30860144
And I desperately need her.

>>30860213
But what if I want to preserve myself for her Anon
Did you think of that?

>>30859398
There's something pleasing about seeing her rump under the covers. Makes me want to lay down next to her and rub my hand around there in circles from above the covers.