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RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

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Thread images: 121

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>Tribal Beast Fluttershy Edition
GoogleDoc Pastebin Archive: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1b1jASUKcbpyp6u1nk0d8m8m_toNwUGSlesl7F1IPa4o/edit#heading=h.lo64gd9lo8lv

Old CrazyRain's Story Archive: http://pastebin.com/C82B4dea
Prompt collection: https://pastebin.com/GgD2Yvkv
https://pastebin.com/cNVqJ2WA
Previous thread: >>30435222
>>
if you had to, what RGRE song would you sing? (i.e. if you're a dude what song by a female artist would you sing, if you're a grill what song by a male artist would you sing?)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCrtErmipXE
>>
>>30460971
Steping up to the plate, thanks for the new thread.
>>
>>30460984
Huh, that's an interesting choice. Maybe a remake of this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1_ZQILFsSY
>>
>If Lord Aegis would have been in his prime, and not so weak from blood loss, he would have no doubt snapped the Empress's neck
>It would have also been infinitely harder to stop him from rampaging
>Every single one of the Northerners had said such to you after you all had pulled your lord off of the taur
>They also said that if he had been in better condition he might have even pulled her head clean off!
>Thank goodness that didn't happen...
>Your lord was scary enough as is...
>After you had pulled lord Aegis from the Empress, who seemed a lot more excited to be choked than a person should be, your lord had passed out
>Berserk or not, there was only so much a Northerner could take before he just… stopped
>While it had been very scary to watch him just go limp in Ser Lero’s arms, this allowed the knights to tie your lord up with their belts and carry him back to your room, away from the chaos that he had sown
>"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, are you alright Empress Helga? Do you need anything? What are you even doing here? Are your guards alright? Can you breathe okay? Oh my goodness, you're neck is going to BRUISE!"
>Ser Therin, Lord Aegis's second in command, had decided to stay with the princesses and minotaurs
>Since the old knight wanted you to "learn something," as he said, you were forced to stay as well
>And you had to say that you would have probably preferred going back to the room
>While the Empress looked as happy as could be sitting on the floor as Princess Twilight looked her over, her guards weren't nearly as enthusiastic
>The anger on their faces made you uncomfortable, and the way they were clenching their swords made you wish that more than one knight had stayed behind
>You had a feeling that if the Empress didn't look as happy as she was those guards would have rushed you
>A shiver ran up your spine at the thought
>Knight-in-training or no, each of those minotaurs were twice your size
>>
>>30460998
Its what I'm here for folks. Enjoy. Should we tell the mods to break the other thread down, or just let it sage naturally?
>>30461004
>New Thread and Page Anon
its gonna be a good day.
>>
>>30461004
>And you only had your dagger to defend yourself
>AND there was a BUNCH of them...
>"Are you well, little lord?"
>You jumped, your head whipping around
>There, standing right next to you, was the pony that had been in your dreams last night
>Princess Luna
>Your stomach tightened at the sight of her, but even so you bent a knee
"H-Hello, your highness."
>You tried to bow your head as well, only for a blue wing to slide under your chin and lift it back up
>"Please, there's no need for that, child," Princess Luna said, tapping your cheek with the tip of your wing. "Please rise."
>You could feel Ser Therin's disapproving glare on the back of your head as you rose
>You managed to mostly ignore it, looking the princess over
"You're taller than you were in my..."
>You looked over at Ser Therin
>You… probably should keep your mouth shut about what happened last night…
>If Lord Aegis was upset now, you could only imagine how mad he’d get if he found out the princess had been in your dreams...
>Princess Luna smiled
>"Most ponies feel less threatened if I don't tower over them," she said, leaning toward your ear and whispering so Ser Therin couldn’t hear. "Shrinking myself in the waking world might be no small feat, but it is very easy in the realm of dreams."
"Oh... that's neat."
>Princess Luna smiled
>"I just heard what had happened from my sister," she said. "Is your lord well?"
"Some of the other knights said that he'd be fine," you replied. "All he needs is a little bit of sleep."
>"Good, and what of you child? How are you faring?"
>You?
>What would be wrong with you?
>You weren’t the one that got shot today
"I'm fine, your highness."
>To your surprise, the princess didn't look very convinced
>>
>>30461007
>"Are you sure? Your hands seem to say otherwise."
>...
>What?
>Looking down at your hands, you saw that they were indeed shaking
>And not only them either; your entire body seemed to be shaking
"Oh..." you mumbled
>You jumped again when you felt a big, rough hand slapping onto your shoulder
>"The boy's fine," Ser Therin said, his voice gruff. "He's just a little shaky from all of the day's excitement. Just like the rest of us."
>Princess Luna's eyes flicked up to the wiry Southerner
>"As you have every right to be," she said, bowing her head. "You've come to Equestria at our behest and not only have you been attacked, but your lord has been injured."
>"He has," Ser Therin said, his eyes drifting over to the empress. “‘And I’m sure he wouldn’t appreciate you whispering in his squire’s ear as if you were plotting something.
>Princess Luna bowed her head a little lower
>"I'm sure that my sister has already apologized for the actions of those fools that wish to disrupt this kingdom's harmony, but I'd like to apologize for what has happened today. And if you take offense to me speaking with young Anon I apologize for that as well."
>Ser Therin, giving you another disapproving look that promised a good cuff to the ear when you were back in your room, nodded
>"I'll give my lord your message."
>"Please do that. I'd also be eternally grateful if you were to send along my prayers and my desire to help the lord in any way that I can."
>"I'll be sure to tell him, your highness. You have my word.”
>"I'm fine, I'm fine. You don't need to keep poking at me with that horn of yours!"
>You looked over to see the Empress making her way to her hooves with the help of her guards
>Princess Twilight, who was chewing on her lip, was trying her hardest to make the minotaur sit back down
>"Please, Empress, rest for a few more minutes. The spell needs longer to--"
>>
>>30460984
https://g.co/kgs/ybY7fj
>>
>>30461013
>"I'm not some namby-pamby bull, Princess. I'll be fine," the Empress said, giving the alicorn's head a pat
>Princess Twilight drew away from the taur’s hand, her nose scrunching up
>The Empress paid her no mind, turning toward you and Ser Therin and smiling
>Ser Therin placed a hand on the hilt of his sword as, with a happy murmur, the Empress skipped over to the two of you
>"You wouldn't happen to be Ser Therin would you? Lord Aegis's old bandit flag bearer?" she asked, her tone very undignified and not at all like any noble that you had ever heard speak
>Ser Therin's eyes narrowed
>"Yes I am."
>A high pitched, excited sound escaped the Empress's throat
>Both you and Ser Therin jumped at the noise
>For such a giant woman, you didn’t think she’d be able to make a noise like that...
>"Ohmygosh! I've heard SO much about you! Like at the battle of River's Bend where you--"
>The Empress was about to reach out and touch Ser Therin, and probably lose a hand for her troubles
>Fortunately for her, a golden aura surrounded her, picking her up into the air and floating her away from the knight
>"Helga, if I could have a moment of your time please," Princess Celestia said, her tone icy
>Gone was the princess's smile and her mother-like kindness
>She looked upset
>Her purple eyes were narrowed, and you could see her rolling her jaw
>She didn't seem all that scary to you--lord Aegis looked scarier when you didn't get him enough ale in the morning--but if you would have looked at the minotaurs you'd have thought they'd just seen a demon
>The guards took a few hasty steps backward, all of the anger draining from their faces
>The Empress herself paled, the joy on her face turning into something very close to fear as Princess Celestia put her down right in front of her
>>
>>30461019
>"Helga, I would very much like to know why you've come to my kingdom unannounced," the princess said. "It would be very beneficial for you if you would tell the truth as well, since I have had a very... TRYING day and not in the mood for any nonsense."
>The Empress swallowed dryly
>"W-Well, I heard that the great Lord Aegis was coming to Canterlot so I'd t-thought I'd come and see him," she said as her tail curled around her leg
>"And why would you do that?" Celestia asked, an edge creeping into her voice
>The Empress flinched
>"I've heard a-a bunch of stories about the bull, from my aunts and a f-few of the older retainers," she said, looking down at the floor. "And I wanted to meet him because I, um, well... I think he's really cool."
>Princess Celestia raised an eyebrow
>"Cool?"
>"Of course!" the Empress said, a flash of excitement making its way across her face as she looked back up at Princess Celestia. "Have you ever read anything about the human-minotaur wars? That bull spent five years hiding out in the forest attacking supply lines, and no matter how many soldiers my mom sent after him he'd always slip away!"
>The Empress smiled, squirming in place
>"He also managed to capture Biglhorn and Dilgifal from right under our noses! No one's been able to do that since those castles were built and he managed to do it with only twenty men! And, and, and because he flanked my mom while she was trying to destroy King Drfaul's army almost eighty thousand minotaurs were routed!"
>She bit her knuckle
>"He's got to be the coolest bull in the whole wide world! How COULDN'T I try to see him! Half of the heifers in Labyrinthia want to meet him! And now, after all of these years of trying I meet him in the flesh and OhmygoshIcan'tbelievethis!"
>The Empress made another excited noise, much to the embarrassment of her guards and the confusion of Princess Celestia
>Princess Luna, however, laughed
>>
>>30461024
>"I don't believe that the mighty Empress was the one to order the attempt on the lord's life, sister mine," she said, brushing past you and walking over toward her sister
>The Empress stopped her squealing and squirming
>"Attempt? What attempt?"
> "Not a few hours ago somepony shot lord Aegis with a crossbow," Princess Twilight said, ruffling her feathers.
>You could see the gears turning in the Empress's head as she processed just what the alicorn had said
>"WHAT?! Who the buck did it?!" she demanded, her face twisting in rage. "I'll tear their arms off! I'll rip off their coats and dump them in a pool of lemon juice! I'll... I'll...!"
>The Empress took a few deep breaths, opening and closing her hands
>"I'll do something VERY bad to them!"
>"As we speak I have my guard combing the city," Princess Celestia said
>Gone was the anger from her face, and the tension had left her body
>She looked relieved, almost happy
>"I promise you that we'll have this would-be assassin captured by nightfall."
>"That's not good enough," the Empress growled, turning toward her guards. "Holly, Hazel, take fifty girls and have them search the streets. If they find anyone with a bucking crossbow or looking even a LITTLE shady bring 'em here."
>She looked over to you, her anger turning to worry
>"Is lord Aegis alright? Does he need anything? I have a pretty great healer in my entourage if he needs one. Or some coffee maybe? I’d be happy to go out myself and get him something!"
>You looked up at Ser Therin to await the knight's answer
>To your shock, the knight was pale and his body tensed
>Looking down at his hand, you saw that he was clenching his sword hilt very, very hard
>"You have fifty heifers running around here?" he said
>The Empress blinked
>"No, I have about a hundred, why?"
>Ser Therin covered his mouth with a hand
>"Oh gods above, protect us..."
>>
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>>30461019
>This story again
I can't do it anymore man, I just can't. I tried to hang in there because I love the MLP franchise but I can't anymore.
>>
>>30461029
Alright, I'm done. I'll try to get another chapter either tomorrow or friday
>>
>>30461031
>Alright, I'm done
lap pls
>>
>>30461030
I've rambled enough and I'll just leave with this comments if you're making a new story. Please for the love of God check your idea or have someone beta your work. You'd be surprised at the amount of people willing to do that if the story was a bit exciting. Oh and if you're doing another story, just stuck to what you chose first and don't make your work harder by adding more than you can handle.
>>
>>30461031
damn it I need MORE
>>
>>30461030
>>30461042
> I am confused and do not like thing
If you don't recognize the story, just look in his pastebin for Page Anon or whatever. If you don't like it, that's fine. Either offer constructive criticism, or scroll past it.
>>
>>30461030
>>30461042
As always, you can just not read the story. There have been plenty of others who look forward to it so just ignore his posts. You do have the ability to do that, do you not?
>>
>>30461096
>>30461110
You guys understand he didn't screech about hating it, only that he doesn't care for it? Nothing wrong with that, this isn't a hugbox.
>>
>Be King Scorpan XVII of Humania
>Your kingdom is completely isolated from Equestria, and with good reason
>If your people could mix easily with those ponies, it would be the end of your way of life
>Your lands used to be close allies, until Celestia ended feudalism and freed her serfs.
>You prefer to keep your peasants oppressed and your nobles in fear, as it should be.
>Now, you're getting word of a human appearing in Equestria, someone going by the name of 'Anon'
>Clearly an escaped serf. Well, no matter.
>You'll have him skinned alive and hung from the battlements of your castle as a message to would-be traitors.
>You've sent your court wizard, disguised as another former serf, to bring him back.
>You've seen his spells. He can make a second of agony last 10,000 years. This 'Anon' will know true suffering before you let him die.
>Deus Vult.
>>
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>>30461030
Now burns an autists ass
Goodnight, faggot child, autistic screeching sings thee to thy rest
>>
>>30461013
>And not only them either
them either is a mouthful, just use that*
>>30461029
PTSD is gonna go bad.
>>
>>30461170
>autistic screeching
Read >>30461139
WHY are so many anons “conversation-retarded?
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>>30461200
Autistic screeching in this case means the backlash of your comment you idiot
>>
>>30461030
>>30461042
So are you going to explain why you don't like thing, or just keep complaining that thing is bad as if the problem is obvious. Because its not.
>>
>>30461139
True that anon wasn't screeching, but what's the point of writing "I don't like thing, stop writing thing" when there are clearly many others who do like the story? There was no constructive criticism in those posts either, just a better worded "your idea is shit, get a better idea".
>>
I'm a newcomer to the conversation about the latest green:
Nothing against LaP, I just don't find any interest in his Page Anon story.

Anyone know when PoppedAnon said he'd be back with more of his rebirth story?
>>
>>30461263
Don't get me wrong, I agree in that there's little reason to simply say "I don't like it". But to play devil's advocate, plenty of others only leave a comment saying "I like it". That doesn't add much either.
>>
>>30461295
He posted last thread >>30460084. Probably will be posting later today.
>>
>>30461031
Nice to see you posting friend. How was your happy burger explosion day?
>>
>>30461029
>>30461031
I enjoy this story every time it's posted.
>>
>>30461030
Yeah because all the barbie garbage was way better right?
I endured it. Now's your turn.
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>>30461160
I like thing. Continue.
>>
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>>30461031
I am largely indifferent to the story you have posted here and its continuation is not going to influence my enjoyment of this thread, but you are by all means welcome to continue as it does not harm me in any way.
>>
>>30461640
What kind of blasphemy is this?
>>
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>Twiggy gets boy advice from Celly
>>
>>30461640
ok
>>
>>30461793
a from what?
>>
>>30461823
Anon transposed the "r" and the "o" when he typed the word "form".
>>
>>30461793
FUG
>>
>>30461307
>That doesn't add much either.

It makes us writefags feel good.
>>
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>>30461160

>Be King Scorpan XVII of Humania
>You might have miscalculated a bit when it came to this 'Anon'
>Apparently one of the new Alicorns (called 'Mi Amore Cadenza') was quite smitten with him, and he in return
>Disgusting
>So when your court wizard attempted to bring the escaped serf back by force, she objected
>This 'Anon' accidentally got caught in the crossfire of their magic.
>Injured but not dead
>The result is that your court wizard is now dead (but not before having all the information they needed to link this to you extracted from his mind) and you have Celestia demanding why you've committed such an aggressive act on Equestrian soil
>>
>>30461030
If only you were telling the truth and would actually leave. This thread struggles enough without trash like you.
>>
>>30461681
>on that day, anon discovered his first fetish
>>
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Looking to start reading through some of these, any suggestions or should I just pick randomly from the pastebin?
>>
>>30462351
Read Ghouls's story. If you want some seriously logic.
>>
>>30462384
Cheers, I'll give it a read. With it being a WIP, how often does it update. I don't want to add it to the pile of greens that were never finished.
>>
>>30462447
1 weeks or 1 months. Otherwise, just read https://pastebin.com/01b3iy5c to kill your time.
>>
>>30461031
Post more pls
>>
>>30462488
What if I want to kill myself instead?
>>
>>30461031
Thanks once again. I was waiting for more page Anon.
>>
>Twilight studies Anon in depth after the Potato Incident.
>Decides to "take him out to eat" and feeds him a variety of dishes, some of which contain "toxic plants" she's observed him growing.
>He tops a kidney bean dish with a tart relish made from concentrated green tomatoes, which together contain enough solanine and phytohemagglutinin to kill a large pony in an hour
>baked potatoes? No problem, he goes back for seconds.
>He tops fish with ketchup (she paid to have it made to his specifications), which might as well be concentrated cyanide.
>Macadamia-nut cookies for dessert, made from the nuts the Zebras use to poison their enemies. Even dragons won't touch them.
>Anon eats everything, asks for seconds, they spend an hour talking about everything under the sun, with no effect on his brain or metabolism.
>Later tests indicate that Anon can walk or jog for miles long past the point where a pony would drop dead from exhaustion, and can survive and cool himself enough to function even under conditions of near blast-furnace-level heat.
>Immune and repair system is absolutely surreal along with resistance to injury and pain, Anon tells stories of wounded humans who literally stuffed their guts back into the hole, taped it shut and soldiered on. And lived.
>Anon has some sort of weird magic-nullification effect that acts like a ludicrously powerful defense screen
>And Anon claims humans are almost the weakest, most fragile creatures in his world.
>What in Tartarus do Humans share their world with to evolve into the biological equivalent of a Terminator?
>>
>>30462631
>The medicine to cure the fool has already been developed
>Actually increasing suicide if you increase intelligence - Algernon Shinji
>>
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The unicorn herd called a "blessing", so what would we call a herd consisted only out of bat-ponies? "Mango"? Or a herd consisted only out of satyrs?
I bet satyr herd would be called a "prison", because all satyrs is are crimes against nature.
>>
>>30462841
A troupe because they're ape horses.
>>
>>30462730
HFY RGRE
>>
>>30462730
>Twilight presents her findings to Celestia
>In the interest of national security, she has Anon kidnapped in the night, his possessions burned, and all mention of him stricken from official records
>Even the memories of ponies who knew him are modified to remove any trace of his existence
>>
>>30462954
>destroying all of anons shit
>mind altering
>kidnapping anon

and thats how anon lead a crusade against magic.
>>
>>30462954
This is making me nostalgic. A lot of old HiE had Celestia react that way no matter what but without the humor.
>>
>>30462968
Won't end well desu. It would be like an anti-oxygen crusade in Equestria. Even mud ponies have a bit of inborn magic.
>>
>>30462982
Violent xenophobe Celestia is boring and dumb. Slightly racist and sexist Celestia with good intentions is fucking hilarious.
>>
>>30462351
>>30462351
Cow tipping
>>
>>30462991
and thats how anon attempted a anti magic crusade but failed.
>>
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>>30462991
>Won't end well desu. It would be like an anti-oxygen crusade in Equestria. Even mud ponies have a bit of inborn magic.
Hey, remember that magic nullifying black rock Chryssi made her chair out of?
>>
>>30463066
Yeah. It made the surrounding area into a wasteland and didn't negate the magic of certain races (or just changelings). It's not whether you could do it, but who would support that? The world runs on the stuff.
>>
>>30463105
>who would support that?
Griffons, minotaurs, zebras, breezies, and all the other non-magical races.

And the whole world won't be a wasteland. Just Equestria.
>>
>>30462730
>>He tops fish with ketchup
cheeky lil cunt
>>
>>30462730
I NEED IT
>>
>>30462066
No.
>>
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>>30462968
>>30462991
Would you call it a... dark crusade? Obviously the only way to remove all magic is to remove all life.
>>
>>30463174
Griffons can cloudwalk can't they? Gilda was hanging out with Dash on a cloud. That means they can probably do everything a pegasus can, including weather facilities if they put their minds to it.

Breezies have magic that protects their pollen when they come into contact with breeze made by pegasi. They're symbiotic and also rely on portals to get back home. They also wouldn't be fans of shitting up the land when they aim for the opposite.

No magic or ponies to maintain a lot of nature also means no magical herbs for potions. Zebras probably aren't all like Zecora, but they probably appreciate creating enchanted medicines and stuff.

You're probably right about Minotaurs and some other monster races not losing much in terms of magic, but even they shouldn't want this. Equestria is huge and makes up a continent that we've never seen the southernmost end of. It probably houses a lot of other races and creatures. That's a whole bunch of valuable property, resources, and potential money down the drain.
>>
>>30462447
It varies. I've been piling up content for Aftershock and then posting it in bite-sized pieces over a handful of days instead of updating purely as I write it or releasing the entire thing at once (which would have been ludicrous since Aftershock is tipping past 50K words at this point). I'm getting somewhat close to my next series of drops, but it'll probably be a little while longer.

If you do chose to read any of my stuff, I hope you enjoy - and please feel free to tell me what you thought after the fact.
>>
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>>30463269
I like to think if we worship best princess enough it'll summon you and you'll have the next update(s) ready.
>>
>>30463232
>Equestria is like Planet of the Apes.
>Humans for some reason or another became the setting's equivalent of necrons.
>But nopony has yet to rouse a tomb from it's slumber.
>>
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>>30463281
Hah, well, I too like to think that the proper quotient of sunhorse worship plays a serious role in when I find places to stop. Until I can confirm or deny that theory, I'll just say that my updates have been swinging in the 12k to 20k words area, and right now I'm sitting on about 8-9K. Soooo... gettin' there.

I see your Celestia pic and salute you with a second, good sir.
>>
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>>30463340
>I'll just say that my updates have been swinging in the 12k to 20k words area, and right now I'm sitting on about 8-9K.
muh dik
>>
>>30462954

>Because of Human Awesomeness and Equestrian magic, it turns out humans can knock up almost anything, including Alicorns.
>result will be a very, very durable foal with all the best traits of both parents.
>Anon becomes part of a top-secret program to create Equestrian superponies
>It's three parts "kept stallion" and one part "tactical military advisor," because humans have a brain that's fine-tuned by nature to survive anything and figure out how to overcome and/or kill any obstacle.
>High-ranking military officers scandalized because Anon is a stallion AND seems to have a better grasp of strategy and tactics than nearly all of them and can see holes in strategies that no one else can.
>Cellie and Luna tell them to go pound sand.
>Royal Princesses are going to be the mommies of a race of supersoldiers.
>>
>>30461031
Does Helga have an Aegis daki?
I totally bet she has an Aegis daki.
>>
>>30463411
Clearly the best way to get them to calm down is to have Anon give them a few babies and add them to the snuggle pile. Cuts down on guard time too.
>>30463418
She probably has one, but is required to professionally deny it in public. Her guards get an earful whenever they finish outside though.
>>
>>30463340

>Early morning Sunhorse with puffy eyes and bedhead and a drooly pillow

I APPROVE OF THIS ADORABLENESS.
>>
>>30462933
>>30463226
Fund it, please!
(HFY is always awesome.)
>>
>>30463450
Yes it is, random internet Anon.
>>
>>30462730
But where would the conflict be? You don't have much of a story if it's nothing but a 20k character power wank.
>>
>>30463066

>>30463105

>"Is...is somepony there? H-help me. Please" the weak call comes from the tunnel ahead of you. "Hurts..."
>the walls are black, glassy stone with an almost metallic luster. It means nothing to you, but you've since learned that this stuff--some form of obsidian--is universally deadly to nearly everything on Eqestria in its natural, unworked form. Mortus Petrum, they call it
>Death Rock. It eats magic like a sponge, drains it out of everything nearby. Should a pony--or any other living thing on Equus--touch it, it blistered and burned even as it drained the inherent magic out of them. Prolonged exposure to it killed by inches, or caused diseases that were hard to treat.
>It could be worked into artifacts and tools that nullified magic, if one knew how to work with it relatively safely and had proper shielding, but even that was highly dangerous. In nature, it was a bane on everything that lived.
>>
>>30463670
>Everything but you. You're climbing carefully through an environment that's roughly as dangerous to ponies as Chernobyl's Elephant's Foot would be to you, completely immune.
>"I've almost reached Silverlight's position," you say into the headset. You're carrying protective blankets woven of insulating fibers, a pony respirator and a backboard.
>You're not a trained medic, but you've been shown what you need, and there was no time to get the right personnel with the right experience and the highly specialized equipment they'd need here in time. Teleport magic doesn't work within twenty miles of here. This is the one and only chance to get the filly out of her before this place killed her.
>she's small enough that you should be able to carry her out without injuring her further, and even if you DO, that's infinitely better than spending a second longer in this tunnel.
>"Acknowledged, Anon. Proceed carefully, and watch for loose rubble."
>Your helmet's spotlight picks out the prone, bloody form of Silverlight, lying on her side on a pile of broken wood. One of her legs is obviously broken, and she's barely breathing. >But those pale next to the blistering skin and bare patches of fur. The only reason she's still alive is because most of her is lying on the busted wood that fell in with her, instead of the bare rock. She's facing away from you but she laboriously raises her head to try to look for the source of light. Her eyes are red, swollen almost shut.
>>
>>30463675
now fuck some life back into that pone.
>>
>>30463675
>"Whoah whoah whoa, don't move," you say. "I'm here to help. Just stay still, we're working to get you out of here." You quickly relay exactly what you're seeing to the pony on the other end of the communications link as you get down next to her in the claustrophobic tunnel.
>"Y--you don't look like...a pony," she whispers. "Or s-s-sound like one..."
>You're next to her on the broken, pebbly ground, unpacking your stuff next to her. "That's because I'm not. I'm a human. From somewhere else."
>"How can....you be here?" she whispers.
>"Human magic," you murmur. She's got at least two busted legs, and you're pretty sure her ribs are a mess. God knows about her spine. "I'm going to have to move you, we have to get you out of her as fast as we can, okay?" you say. "I'm going to try to move you in one piece, so I dont' hurt you anymore than I have to.." You clean the dust off of your hands as best as you can and pull on a pair of insulated gloves from your pack to try to minimize her further exposure. "
>She doesn't reply. "I'm attempting to move her," you say into the headset.
>"For the love of Luna, be careful."
>>
>>30463711
>As gently as possible, you slide the filly onto the board, trying not to jostle her anymore than you absolutely have to. She jerks once or twice at your touch. "I know it hurts..." you say. "Sorry about that..."
>She doesn't reply. You secure her in place via the straps, and then carefully afix the respirator to her muzzle, feeding her enriched, filtered oxygen. working as quickly as you can, you swaddle the tiny board and its cargo in the insulated blankets, shrouding her as best as you can against this place, with the insulated hood coming on last.
>You're relieved to see that her breathing begins to ease almost as soon as the makeshift protection is in place. "Thank you," she whispers, her swollen eyes shutting almost at once.
>"Alright, I've got her. I'm coming out." You hoist the board to your shoulder as gently as you can and begin the long, long journey back down the narrow, winding, rubble-filled tunnel, trying not to jostle your cargo or slip on any busted scree.
>Most pony machines were at least partially magical--and they didn't work here. You were actually more useful here than their equivalent of a rescue robot, and more surefooted as well.
>>
>>30463716
>In less far less time than it had seemed to take for you to reach her to begin with, you and Silverlight emerge carefully into the daylight, and to the cheers and whoops of the paramedics, press and local rescue personnel. Once you've cleared the tunnel and retreated to a safe distance, you put the board carefully down.
>You pull off your coveralls and gloves and place them in a heavy cask, and close it. Two ponies with high-pressure hoses proceed to spray you from head to toe, knocking off the worst of the dust. You hold your arms out and turn around, so that they can get all sides of you.
>It's ice-cold. Little Anon doesn't appreciate that part. Brr.
>>
>>30463744
>You'll have to be decontaminated more thoroughly later, but you're safe enough for them to approach right now, and Twilight--SciTwi, you've nicknamed her--is coming with some clothes, another set of coveralls, clean and Death Rock dust-free. "Oh Anon--Oh celestia, that was INCREDIBLE," she says. You don't say much as you dress, watching as the doctors and emergency medtechs begin work on the filly.
>"She's going to live, isn't she?" you ask Twi out of earshot.
>She looks grave. "She might," she says softly. "They'll have to clean her before they can address any of her injuries, but...it really depends on how much dust she inhaled and a bunch of other factors. it's going to be touch and go for a while, and there may be--lasting effects," she says.
>She looks at you. "But thanks to you, she's at least got a chance. Thank you for that, Anon." She starts to hug you, but you back away--you're not completely clean yet. That'll have to wait.
>You settle for a gloved fist-bump.
>It's a good kind of day.
>>
>>30463287
Anon is a scout sent forth on a timer to see if the world in habitable again after a cataclysmic war that ravaged the world. Ponies and other races are the results of mutations caused by this cataclysm. Ponies have some knowledge from anthropology that there was an older civilization many millennia ago that disappeared. Due to this the initial sightings of anon are considered hoaxes.
>>
>>30463747
Now that there is a good feel.
>>
>>30463747
Aside from some glaring spelling mistakes and typos, it not being RGRE...its not a bad idea.
>>
>>30463821
I agree with you, but you should write cleaner posts when pointing out spelling mistakes and typos.
>>
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>>30463604

>Comedy involving hilariously stupid attempts to assassinate Anon by bad guys, because reasons.
>They use poisons, Anon shrugs and uses them to season his food. Mmmm, spicy!
>They use traps, Anon sees them and avoids them, or worse, doesn't even realize they're traps and isn't fazed at all.
>They try to kill him, instead he misinterprets their attack as an accident on their part and tries to help them up. They kill themselves by accident, and Anon is horrified.
>They try again, and instead an entire team of increasingly-rattled assassins accidentally kills each other like Wile E. Coyote.
>The leader is pushed over the edge and finally just tries to corner him in his house to beat him to death with a club. Pinkie Pie shows up with a cake to try to cheer Anon up, hits the leader with the door causing him to fall three stories with a scream into a conveniently-placed woodchipper.
>Whoopsie!
>>
>>30463821

I'm a horrible editor.
>>
>>30463604
It's like Anon is Mr. Bean crossed with Mr. Magoo, if they were secretly Clark Kent but didn't know he was actually Superman.
>>
>>30463845
>>30463912
linked wrong post
>>
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I JUST WANT TO LOVE PONE DEARLY
>>
>>30463912

I would read the hell out of this.
>>
>>30463845
I think that idea would work better as incompetent stallions trying to get back at Anon for stealing their mares in ever more absurd, coltish ways.
>>
>>30464074
or in rather vapid ineffectual ways
>>
>>30463845
https://pastebin.com/rszgyzzU
>>
>>30461110
Yeah like I do with any of his eqg stories.
>>
>>30463450
Fuck that. Hfy is the epitome of cringey, often edgy, wish fulfillment.
>>
>>30464217
>epitome of cringey, often edgy, wish fulfillment.
>RGRE

do you even know where you are?
>>
>>30464228
Still not as bad as HFY
>>
>>30462730
Tell her about the black death lol
>>
>>30464177

This was full of awesome.
>>
>>30464238
HMD is the epitome of HFY, except specifically sexual as opposed to us being Orks
>>
More of thing.
Late because I went a little nuts with writing.
Honestly would have more but I'm exhausted.

I'll work on editing chapter markers into the pastebin later today.

>paste https://pastebin.com/wSBBJhvh
>>
>>30464287
>You are Front Page.
>And this is horseapples.
I can’t watch Anonymous today, I just managed to get the funding to start up the school paper! I have to make sure the first edition is ready to print on time.
>”I’m sorry, hon,” mom said combing her mane and tail at the same time, “But there is no other choice, your father already left with Davenport to try out that spa that was just built, Hondo had to cancel because Rarity came down with something.”
Well, what about the blessed mothers? Isn’t it their duty to help with things like this?
>Mom flipped her mane and looked upward remembering why they can’t, “Inkwell has to do another week shift in Canterlot since the council scribes lost a member, Fine Print is in Appleoosa drawing up contracts between the settlers and construction ponies, and blessed grand mare Double Deal is in Fillydelphia watching Scribble and High Breed. Or did you not notice how quiet the house is?”
>’Got you!’
Well if grandma Double Deal is watching High Breed doesn’t that mean Upper Crust is free?
>Mom scowled and lowed her voice to a volume she thought I couldn’t hear, “Wouldn’t trust her to watch my bucking fern,” she then raised her voice to normal volume, “SHE is at another banquet with Picture Perfect and Jet Set.”
>Desperation was setting in, but you had to try. You put too much work into getting the school board to agree to the paper.
Can’t you hire somepony then? I know Macintosh is great with foals. I’m too young anyway, I don’t even have a cutie mark yet!
>She smirked.
>You hated that smirk
>”Doesn’t Macintosh have a blank flank, too?”
>’Forgot about that...’
>Mom ruffled your mane before pulling you into a hug, “I really am sorry, but I have to see Hard Cover today if I have any hopes of getting published next quarter. And I refuse to get shutout by that nag Velvet, just because she lives in Canterlot.”
>>
>>30464291
>She closes her saddlebags and puts them on, grunting a bit under the weight of her novel, bits, and writing supplies.
>”Besides, Anonymous is no trouble as long as you keep his belly full and make sure he doesn’t rip his diaper off, and you only have to watch him until your father gets home from the spa.” She sucked some air through her teeth, meaning the next thing out of her mouth would be a lie,”I’m sure he can’t spend too much time at the spa”
>All air and hope left your body at once.
Fine…
>”Good, milk is in the fridge, and make sure to feed him some foalfood. Smithy says three months is the best age to start weaning. Mix the food with milk, NOT WATER, he is still too young for water. Now I have, horseapples, 5 minutes to get on the train wish momma luck,” she sprinted out of the door without looking back.
>You go to your room and, with some effort, levitate your typewriter and carry it to the blessing’s bedroom where Anonymous is sleeping in his crib.
>He already kicked off his diaper, so with a bit of magic you put them back on.
>Immediately he frowns and starts kicking a little bit.
“Whatever,” then a smirk of your own comes on your face, “in fact...”
>You pull the diaper back off, hoping in the darkest part of your heart that Anonymous makes a mess that dad will have to clean up.
>’That’s what he gets for relaxing instead of watching his son.’
>Anonymous on the other hoof relaxes and smiles.
>’Maybe it is itchy or something.’
>The vindictiveness leave you as quickly as it came when you see that you made your favorite brother’s sleep easier
>>
>>30464287
Oh god, my body is ready!
>>
>>30464296
>Sitting beside the crib you get to work on your article.
>’The school board probably thinks that this is just going to be some foalish little rag about how “homework is lame” or something equally as stupid.’
>’Buck that’
>’My paper is going to make the Canterlot Times look like a joke.’
>The increased timberwolf activity is a real worry that goes beyond Sweet Apple Acres.
>They are always a danger to ponies who wander too close to the Everfree, but during Zap apple season they go nuts and leave the borders
>You did well, but you need to do your journalistic duty and interview ponies who have first hoof experience in dealing with them.
>Like the Apples.
>Like Macintosh.
>You were ready to take up your note pad and head out, but you remembered why you were in such a foul mood.
>You looked at your brother sleeping peacefully, and then thought of a really good idea.
>>
>>30464287
>Boulder has a tiny party hat

That is such a Pinkie thing to do.
>>
>>30464298
>You are Anonymous
>And you were enjoying a damn good nap until you were jostled awake.
>As you cracked your eyes open the sun glared at you.
>After a bit of time to adjust you slowly open your eyes to see that you’re outside.
>And moving.
>After checking your immediate area you see that you’re riding in a little wagon through Ponyville.
>You immediately look to see who is dragging the thing to make sure you aren’t being kidnapped or anything.
>Luckily it is only your sister.
>Looking pretty smug
>”Oh look at his little eyes.”
>”Aren’t you a curious little fella”
>”Oh he is just so precious.”
>You look above the little wooden panels to see that you’re surrounded by children.
>A bunch of boys mostly.
>The wagon stops, and Page turns around to see you’re awake.
>”See I told you guys to keep quiet.”
>She levitates you up and looks down at the tiny blanket you were laying on, no doubt checking for messes.
>”Are you hungry?” she levitates out a bottle from her saddlebags and pushes it to your mouth.
>You keep your mouth closed to show her that you aren’t.
>”Well if you’re just up I don’t see any harm in letting the guys have a look,” she turns to address the small crowd,”But no touching, I don’t want you to get him all dirty.”
>They all looked offended, before looking at their hooves and putting together that the appendage used to walk on a dirt path will in fact get dirty.
>You decide to ignore the kids and look around.
>You’ve seen most of this already, but you don’t get a lot of time outside so you enjoy the fresh air and sunshine.
>>
>>30464302
>After a few minutes the crowd starts to dissipate.
>You seem to approaching a farm or ranch or something.
>You look at the sign, the local language is like English but in a really shitty font so it is hard to discern.
>But there are a few pictures of apples on it and there is a field full of apple trees in front of you so you feel safe to assume that you’re on an apple orchard.
>In the distance is an orange stallion pulling a plow, your sister waves to him, but doesn’t pick up her speed as she approaches.
>”Hello, Mr. Orange Juice, is Macintosh home? I need to interview him.”
>The stallion frowns and raises eyebrow before taking a quick glance to you.
>In an instant his face wears a soft smile as he nods to himself.
>”Sure, Little Mac should be over in the north fields, learning how to apple buck.”
>Your sister gives a sharp nod, “Thank you, sir.”
>As you depart you notice the stallion staring at you, smiling before taking on a thoughtful expression.
>’I’m not sure how worrying that should be.’
>’Now that I think about it, where is Mom, or Wordsmith?’
>’They must be doing something pretty important if I’m being babysat by an 8 year old.’
>You look around seeing rows and rows of trees.
>Also hills and hills of trees
>Upon cresting one such hill you sister abruptly stops
>”Hmph, what kinda varmint done found its way onta my farm today?”
>You turn to see a very large mare staring down your sister angrily chewing a sprig of hay.
>Your sister was immediately cowed.
>Out of instinct you also laid down and wrapped your tail around yourself to seem as small as possible.
>”G-good day, Mrs. Sweet Apple, ma’am. How are you?”
>The giant spit out the hay and lowered her head to be right in Page’s face.
>”Quit tryin to be pleasant, whatchu want young’un?”
>The wagon started to shake a bit with Page’s quivering.
>”I-I-I-I”
>”Spit it out filly!”
>”I NEED TO INTERVIEW MAC FOR THE PAPER!”
>>
>>30464305
>Sweet then plucked another sprig from behind her ear and began chewing immediately.
>”Mac ain’t got time to be playin no ‘interview’ games, and he darn sure ain’t got time to be playin them with no filly.”
>Page’s quaking slowed enough to where you couldn’t feel it so much through the wagon anymore.
>”I-I’m not playing anything, I’m starting a newspaper for the school, a-and I need Macintosh to answer some questions. Since he is the closest to the subject of the article.”
>Sweet blew a loose bang and rolled her eyes.
>”Mac ain’t going ta give you any help with your foalish ‘chores are lame’ story in your ‘school time news’ rag, and he sure as sugar ain’t going ta give you what you’re really after.”
>This time the quivering stopped and with a huff Page squared her shoulders.
>’Are they even called shoulders on a pony?’
>”My paper isn’t some rag, and my article isn’t about something stupid like chores, or homework, or gossip. I’m going to show this town that news exists, real news, not that trash you read in the Ponyville Gazette.”
>The mare, easily thrice the size of your sister, reeled.
>”Hey now, the Gazette was started by my great gr-”
>Your sister, drunk on her small victory, pushed her advantage.
>”The Gazette is a glorified sales catalog, ‘ohh apples are on sale three for a bit’, ‘oh lookie here buy two get one free on carrots’, ‘well whaddya know zap apple jam is back in stock’! I find more news in Scribble’s diaper!”
>>
>>30464311
>Sweet’s face was a mask of fury for one second, until she glanced at you before addressing Page again, smiling the smile of a cat facing an injured mouse.
“Well, well, well. Looks like big mare here found her teats. But you can’t lie to an Apple,” she started pacing in front of Page, “If you were actually here, for honest reasons, you wouldn’t bring a cute little baby doll to try and make my boy soft on you!”
>In a second her hoof was racing for you.
>Even now you barely had the muscle power to move yourself with anything resembling speed.
>In an instant you were being held by the scruff of your neck.
>’FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK’
>It wasn’t painful, but it was easily the most terrifying thing you’ve experienced in your short new life.
>Sweet looked at you with the same cruel smile, for a couple of seconds before realization dawned on her.
>Your heart was still beating a mile a minute, but you tried your damnedest to plead for release.
Uh ee owwn leez
>’Well, I should get back to learning how to talk, or use my horn. Would come in real handy right now.’
>”LET MY BROTHER GO!”
>Out of nowhere a rock beans Sweet right in her nose.
>Unfortunately she didn’t even flinch.
>Like your sister’s attack never happened, she smiled sat down and cradled you.
>She rocked you for a minute before looking worriedly at Page.
>”Did you show him to OJ?”
>She dropped the much larger rock that she was struggling to levitate and looked at Sweet, “What?”
>”Yer brother, did you show him to OJ?”
>Utterly confused by the tonal shift, Page just decided to be relieved that you weren’t in danger.
>”No, I didn’t really hid him though.”
>After some pretty expert rocking you yawned.
>”Horseapples, I won’t be able to get out of it now...”
>>
>>30464313
>Page voiced her confusion expertly.
>”What?”
>Setting you delicately back into the blanket of the wagon, Sweet sighed and turned to Page.
>”Mac is just down the hill, just listen for the bucks.”
>’Don’t ask, just go. Please.’
>Page left without another word down the hill, where almost immediately a skinny little red colt came into view.
>Almost like the confrontation with Sweet Apple didn’t happen, Page beamed and waved at the colt.
>”Hey, Macintosh!”
>The colt stopped and looked up at her, grateful for whatever rest her coming would bring.
>”Hi there, Front Page, pleased as punch that you’re here. Ma has me bucking, and this is much much harder than she makes it looks. Wish that the pegasus ponies would give a little more cloud cover, but enough about me, what can I do ya for?”
>”Hey Mac I need your opinion on the increased sightings of timberwolves at the edge of the Everfree.”
>”Whew Page, that’s a tall order. Well, they always get antsy right before zap apple season and unless granny is around to chase ‘em off sometimes they’ll get real bold and leave the treeline. Somethin about baaaaad magic in the Everfree tryin to choke out the good magic keeping it from spreadin. I don’t know much about it, Granny usually falls asleep before she finishes the story. And no offense to yall unicorn folk, we earth ponies hardly pay attention when it comes to magic since it usually makes no never mind to us anyway.”
>Page’s pencil was moving insanely fast to keep up with Mac’s words, and she was as happy as could be.
>”What do ya need all that for anyway, did you manage to get Ms. Harsh Lesson to let you have your paper?”
>Her smile widened, “Yep! It goes to print next week!”
>He finally notices you and smiles as big as Page.
>>
>>30464313
>”Where did you get this? It’s so cute and lifelike! Did a unicorn make it? I think it moved! Can unicorns make moving dolls, yall are so lucky sometimes. Can I hold it? Please, Page, please!”

>Immediately Page was at your defense.
>”No! That’s not a doll, that’s my baby brother.”
>And just like that the colt’s excited movements turned slow and almost reverent.
>”Hi, little fella. I’m Macintosh. Mac, In, Tosh. Hello.”
>”Yeah, mom has me watching Anonymous today. But don’t pick him up, your hooves are all dirty from you working.”
>Mac looked down at his hooves before sighing and slumping down.
>After some time passed and more notes taken, mostly about frequent sighting areas and how many seen at once.
>As you and your sister left you saw Orange Juice wearing a sly smile as he led a resigned Sweet into the barn.
>Between the adrenaline rush from the encounter with Sweet Apple, and the fact that you haven’t eaten since lunch you all but passed out right after you left the orchard.
>…
>“-ow could you be so thoughtless!”
>>
>>30464322
>You awoke to see a bottle in your mouth and a diaper on your hindquarters, and the angry voice of your father.
>”But nothing happened, he is fine! He didn’t even cry or anything!”
>”He didn’t cry because he passed out from not eating all day long! He is your brother, don’t you even care?”
>”I’m sorry, okay? How was I supposed to know when to feed him? I didn’t get hungry, he didn’t cry, he didn’t make a mess, I made sure nopony touched him, and mom fed him before she left!”
>By now the frustration and anger had already reduced Page to tears.
>”By trying to feed him, foals can’t talk, and your brother barely cries. So you have to try different things to make sure he has everything he needs. Besides even that being around all those fillies and colts risks him to catch any number of sicknesses, that was the very reason that Hondo couldn’t watch him.”
>”WELL WHY COULDN’T YOU?”
>Before Wordsmith could reply Front Page had already stomped off to her room.
>>
>>30464326
Holy shit I hate post limits.
That's it, may be more today since I'm going nuts, and having fun.
Need to sleep though.
>>
>>30460207
Like I mentioned before; take your time. Burning out is no fun. I look forward to whatever you produce when you're ready.
>>
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>>30464326
good shit man
real good shit
I can't wait to see Wordsmith's disappointment when little anon doesn't like colty things

I literally can't wait for the next update
I wish I had a time machine
>>
>>30463424

>Over the course of a couple of years both the Equestrian military high command and the Canterlot Royal Guard comes up preggers.
>The foals are beyond adorable, mostly smart as whips, and unnaturally durable.
>Well, except for the one named Anon Jr, who eats paste and set a breath-holding record after getting his head stuck in a jar.
>Four times in a row.
>Also, he tries to jam things up his nose. A lot.
>But he tries hard, and that's what's important.
>Anon has to explain to little Bright Eyes that other, more normal foals don't bounce, no matter how far you throw them.
>Anon, Jr. grows up to have more foals, and dumber foals, than any other stallion in the history of Equestria
>>
>>30464322
>RGRE Mac really like dolls and foals

I'd never even considered it before, but that totally makes sense for him to be baby crazy, even when he's a colt.

Though if this is the case, it makes one wonder why mares seem to have such trouble getting a stallion's attention. Stallions wants babies, mares wants sex, and usually babies too, there is a very simple solution here.
>>
>>30464349
Shoulda named him Ralph instead of Jr.
>>
>>30462841
A Hugbox, because
>Big tiddy and huggy handd
And
>Horse pussy
>>
>>30464326
Yup. Definitely setting up the relationship with him and his father, here.

I think the reason that you're not getting REEEE'd out of RGREE is the fact that, while your story features TF, it is not fetishized, and his personality and mind are wholly unaltered.

>>30464363
But, he really liked Smarty Pants. Also, they gotta make sure the mares will be responsible.
>>
>>30464349

I am amused by the idea of Anon's legacy being a generation of strong, tough foals who breed like rats and are dumber than a bag of hammers.

>"Hold m' cider, watch THIS shit!"
>>
>>30461031
Thanks for the update LaP! The tension shift was well done. I'm loving the fangirlin' Empress. Good overall story progression and exposition.
>>
>>30462351
>>30463005
Just finished "Cow Tipping" recently. I found it quite enjoyable. I wouldn't mind a sequel or epilogue follow up.
>>
>>30464402
Now, lets be fair, that's Anon *Jr.'s* legacy.

Daddy Anon had lots of foals other than him, a bunch of super ones actually. Presumably most of them went on to start their own branches on the Anon Family tree.

Jr. was just unusually prolific compared to his siblings, for reasons that are probably best left unspecified.
>>
>>30463747
That was good. Not enough content to say if it's RGRE-enough but I liked it nonetheless.
>>
>>30464475
>>30463780
>>30463821

I'm glad you enjoyed my shitty little green.

I have others that are even shittier:

https://pastebin.com/u/Speaker-to-Birds
>>
>>30464337
Thanks for the update PA! Good world building and character exposition. I look forward to the next update.
>>
>>30464444
>Jr. inherited his dads love of horse puss, human libido and alcohol tolerance.
Yes.
>>
>>30464398
I wouldn't say Anon's mind hasn't been changed, since there have been small changes.
Off the top of my head, he caught himself wondering why he now considered his horsemom his full mom, despite knowing he had a mom when he was human.
Granted, this is explained by the 'bonding magic' or whatever it was specifically called is one of the previous updates, but I could also believe it because he's also a marshmallow horse baby.
I agree that it isn't fetishy, though, and Anon has pretty much kept his own mind his own. I await more and hope we can get somewhat closer to the meat of the story soon. That's not to say the world building hasn't been needed, though, since a baby can't exactly show on his own that the world he's in is different.
>>
>>30464337
Honestly PA, I generally hate tf stories but this is a great fucking way to change my mind. Keep up the good work.
>>
>>30464567

>Anon Jr becomes known as "The Cider Abyss," since his primary pastime is drinking his age in ounces of hard liquor, and then roaming the streets punching ponies at random.
>His first six foals are named Paint Chips, Squatty, The Fat One, Scrotar, Herp and Derp.
>Each by a different mare. Except Herp and Derp. They're twins.
>They spend a lot of time staring off into space and drooling.
>Many more foals to follow.
>Squatty dies in a freak accident trying to prove that you CAN survive a launch from a trebuchet.
>>
>>30464620
>Turns out you can, but surviving an avalanche caused by your own impact into the mountainside is still inconclusive, his sons are still working on the calculations.
>>
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>>30464444
>quads of truth
It is written, brothers.
>>
>>30464326
>>30464337
I'm very absorbed into your story now.
>>
Is /mlp/ unfucked so that we can post now?
>>
>>30464337
I have a feeling this isn't the first time you've written something.
Do you have other stories? Do you have a pastebin?
>>
>>30464987
Was it fucked more than usual?
What gives, I didn't go catalog safari in the recent days
>>
>>30465006
Yeah, things were down (ie. couldn't post, could view) for most boards, save for /a/, /v/, /vg/ and /pol/.
>>
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>>30465020
Apparently there's no active moderation right now either, so you can post whatever the fuck you want.

I'm taking full advantage of this and posting pone on /pol/ now.
>>
>>30464989
Off and on since 2014, last 3 have been RGRE.
https://pastebin.com/u/PoppedAnon
Though it is probably dead By Blood and Friendship is easily my favorite, it could work as RGRE too since Shining Armor fighting is seen as something stupid as hell and he has to be rescued by the girls.
>>
>>30465126
oh shit
you did that timberwolf story
>>
>>30464620
>>30464682

So it turns out that in the event where "to tough to die" & "to dumb to live" meet, alcohol tips it into the latter favor. Neat.
>>
>Anon has a particularly bad fight with his longtime marefriend.
>They often have spats and break up for a day or three before getting back together, and it's seen as nothing new by the ponies.
>Some even tick it off as a weekly event in their calendars.
>However, this one is different: she pushed him to breaking point.
>Anon finally dumps her ass.
>Goes on a vacation to either Canterlot or the Empire to clear his head.
>She thinks he'll come crawling back to her in a few days, and that this is all "coltish whimsy".
>Two weeks later, he returns... to collect his stuff and have a "Goodbye Party" from Pinkie.
>He met a mare there; they've fallen for each other hard and fast, and he's moving in with her.
>Ex-Marefriend realises she's fucked up badly and she'll have to "fight for her stallion".
>Until she discovers who this mystery mare actually.
>A) Princess fucking Luna.
>Who's still as vicious as she was in the past.
>An actual fight would occur.
>B) Princess Celestia, who (thanks to naivety and being out of the dating game for hundreds of years) would likely challenge her with a "fuck off huge" mace or battleaxe, and clad in armour-plating.
>...Welp.
>>
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>>30465482
>>They often have spats and break up for a day or three before getting back together
how incredibly unhealthy and entirely too human
>>
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>>30465482
how can non-alicorns even compete?
>>
>>30465482
>>A) Princess fucking Luna.
>>Who's still as vicious as she was in the past.
>>An actual fight would occur
As if. Luna would burn her, her house, her extended family, and all government records of their existence. Even if she didn't challenge her, her life is forfeit for angering her stallion.
>>B) Princess Celestia, who (thanks to naivety and being out of the dating game for hundreds of years) would likely challenge her with a "fuck off huge" mace or battleaxe, and clad in armour-plating.
Again, as if. Celestia is so lazy, she'd have her guards kidnap and clitorectomize her, just like Starlight Glimmer.
>>
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>>30465598
how can women even compete
>>
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>>30465603
>Again, as if. Celestia is so lazy, she'd have her guards kidnap and clitorectomize her, just like Starlight Glimmer.
No, she'd have her ovaries removed and pasted so she can't get pregnant from raping him.
>>
>>30465225
>In Equestria, the famous last words of Squiggy "Hold my cider." Anonson cause ponies to flee in terror after he attempted to use a trebuchet to launch more trebuchet that launched timberwolves.
>>
>>30465608
because women are real.
but they still can only barely compete.
>>
>>30465482
>Twist
>Anon actually lived in a town other than Ponyville, and Ponyville is where he went.
>He ends up with one of the Elements.
What happens?
>>
>>30464337
I wasn't aware there was a hard limit. I guess I never post enough to hit it.

Anyhow, I'm personally slightly confused about a few things. Why are they all convinced it's a doll rather than an actual foal? Is that your way of trying to say he acts so different people think he's not a real foal? It comes off strange to me. Also I don't know what you were getting at when Sweet letting Page go and what happened with Sweet and OJ. OJ didn't see the confrontation so why what did Sweet do to earn a scolding? Hard to really parse what you were going for in those places.

Really cute to see Page being a good older sister and defending Anon, even if she's otherwise young and has some growing up to do.

Not a bad update overall despite things, though I'm still looking forward to seeing Anon Letter at toddler age after you squeeze what you can out of the baby stage.
>>
>>30466056
Probably because he never cries or babbles nonsense. He's quiet and still as a doll.
>>
>>30466056
>Also I don't know what you were getting at when Sweet letting Page go and what happened with Sweet and OJ. OJ didn't see the confrontation so why what did Sweet do to earn a scolding? Hard to really parse what you were going for in those places.
autism is a hell of a thing anon

theyre going in the barn to fuck another foal into her
>>
>>30465991
>Twilight
Over the top magic display that scares the wits out of not only the Ex, but the whole town.
>Rainbow
Probably a fight that the Ex loses badly. Ex then gets photos of you and Rainbow making love in the mail as insult to injury.
>Rarity
No confrontation. Some socialite connections are contacted about "a horrible stallion beater". Ex then struggles to hold a job with the rumors floating about.
>Applejack.
The entire Apple clan is called and the Ex is quickly chased out of town.
>Pinkie
Ex becomes the first pony Pinkie can't be friends with, which is social suicide.
>Fluttershy
A meek confrontation that Flutters looks like she's going to lose until you get brought up. She then suddenly gains nerves of steel and Ex is too intimidated to keep fighting.
>Bonus Round: Glimglam
Ex is promptly unmade and retroactively erased from history.
>>
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>>30465608
they cant.
>>30465803
>gif related
no they cant.
>>
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>>30465991
>He ends up with one of the Elements.
I read this as one of the physical elements, which lead to imagining anon hooking up with the tree of harmony, and now i cant stop imagining the mane6+starlight getting bootycalled to deal with the ex everytime she tries to bother anon.
>>
In a world flooded by anons

How will Floor Bored Fair?

or will she become she thought she'd never be?
>>
>>30466424
several burly guys will grab her in their manly arms and take her to a spa to get her cleaned up and nice smelling.
>>
>>30466500
Then they fuck her.
>>
>>30466513
No. They just leave her clean and colt ready, since they can choose far better mares to bang.
>>
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>>30466568
>better
Fite me
>>
>>30466568
>better
nobody deserves love as much as Floor
>>
>>30466606
Whoa there, almost satan.
>>
>>30466278
>The ToH is heavily implied to be Equestria's capital-G God.
>Anon still finds a way to fuck it
>Somehow a child comes of this union, making him/her pony Jesus and Anon the virgin Mary
>>
>>30465482
I'm hooked
>>
>>30464326
Keep it up, proud of you
>>
i just had a weird idea

ever had that moment of clarity after a sex or a REALLY good wank? what if mares had the same?

a philosophical mare and anon meet n fuck and in the morning after discover the meaning of life or some magical/scientific epiphany
>>
>>30466750
>ever had that moment of clarity after a sex or a REALLY good wank?
More like a moment of absolute shame after the realization of what I just wanked off to, really.
>>
>>30466750
No, I just lose interest in absolutely everything. If anything, my mind is duller than ever.
>>
>>30466802
>realization of what I just wanked off to, really.
well... that too
>>30466805
exactly what i mean
>>
>>30464337
Enjoyed the update.

Are OJ and Sweet meant to be Mac's parents???
>>
>>30464342
Took the words right off of my keyboard!
>>
>>30464363
>Though if this is the case, it makes one wonder why mares seem to have such trouble getting a stallion's attention. Stallions wants babies, mares wants sex, and usually babies too, there is a very simple solution here.

I like to think that stereotypically, RGRE mares (like most men on our planet) aren't ready to be parents as soon as stallions (like our women).

Additionally, the stallion doesn't have to spend around 6-9 months (depending on how long an MLP pony's pregnancy lasts) with a belly the size of a large watermelon, so the mares are more wary of getting pregnant.
>>
i need more casually sexist twiggy.
>>
>>30465632
>Anon and Anon Jr show up at Squiggy's funeral
>Both drunk. Granddad Anon thinks it's Festivus, and proceeds with an airing of grievances.
>Funeral turns into drunken brawl/party because some of Squiggy's drunken friends are there. With multiple arson charges,
>Squiggy's demented legacy is a shack filled with deadly traps and half-finished, deadlier inventions, about twenty illegitimate foals with various varieties of entertaining psychoses, and booze, booze, booze
>Squiggy's friends dig up the corpse and burn it in the shack in a Viking funeral, because "th' drunk fucker woulda wanted it that way." The fire takes a week to extinguish and burns half the town.
>Squiggy's foal, a young filly named Stinky Cheese (she's half-Changeling on mom's side) completes and perfects Squiggy's timberwolf-launching-trebuchet-launching-trebuchet, only now the timberwolves are on fire too.
>Stinky is a certifiable genuis, and certifiably whacko, just like all of Squiggy's kids.
>>
>>30465620
The term you're looking for is "Oophorectomy" (removal of ovaries).
>>
>>30463269
I've just read your first impressions and so far it's off to a great start. Your writing is superb.
>>
>>30467410
I know the term senpai.
>>
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public spankings public spankings public spankings
>>
>>30467410
>>30467450
i didnt...
>>
>>30467450
>>
>>30467459
When
>>
>A Kid Anon is very direct and cynical.
>Common-sense is lacking in Equestria, apparently.
>Villain of the week pops up?
>He walks up behind and whacks them over the head with a pillow-case filled with doorknobs.
>Ponies don't know how to react to this young colt being...
>>
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>>30467955
>>
>>30467955
>kid anon demands icecream for every problem he solves
>he's diabetic within 3 days
>>
>>30467974
>Implying Pinkie doesn't have a magic spell to cure that in 5 seconds flat
ftfy
>>
>>30467955
>Cadence and Luna fight over being his "mother".
>Anon just shakes his head and wanders off when they argue.
>Blueblood styles himself his nemesis.
>Anon can get away with shit because who would they believe? A Prince known to be a dick, or a cute, innocent foal.
>...Blueblood self-foils due to being inept.
>>
>The sound of the front door shutting makes you look up from the book you are reading
>However it is the shout of "DADDYYY!" that gets your attention.
>No sooner had the shout died did you see a small blue pegasus with the black mane fly into the room on unsteady wings
>Even though you are concerned you smile as you see your daughter fly her way over to you
>Ever since Dash taught her how to fly she has flown EVERYWHERE she could
>The little filly flies over to you and lands against your chest with a dull thud
>Guess she still needs to work on her landings
>"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!"
>You chuckle and ask her
"Whats wrong honey? Did something happen?"
>She raises her head up from your chest and asks
>"Daddy are you evil?"
>The question leaves you taken aback and causes the smile to fall off your face
"Of course I'm not evil. Why would you ask that?"
>She lets out what must be a relieved sigh
>"Cousin Fiji says that she heard auntie AJ say that you were a bad egg. She said...She said that you are up to no good!"
>You sigh and make plans to have a word with AJ before you wrap your arms around your daughter
>She lets out a squeak as you pull her even closer to you
"Storm you know how Auntie Pinkie is the element of laughter?"
>She nods
"Well its her job to make everypony in Equestria smile as much as she can. That is why she throws parties and does everything she does. Well I have a very similar job."
>She tilts her head inquisitively before asking
>"You do? What is it?"
>Gently you place your hand on her cheek
"My job is to protect your smile. To love you, care for you, and protect you so that nothing ever makes you lose that precious smile."
>You finish by giving her a little tickle
>She giggles and tries to fight back but your wigglers are too nimble for her
>After a few seconds you stop and her giggles slowly fade
>"So you are definitely not evil?"
>>
>>30468057
"Would me being evil make you sad?"
>She nods quietly
"Than I am not evil."
>She smiles widely showing the canines she inherited from you
"Now go on up to your bedroom and play. Mom will be home soon."
--SEVERAL HOURS LATER---
>Be Anon
>your precious girls finally are asleep and you manage to sneak out to your back door
>Looking up at the moon you give a quick whistle in three bursts
>Out of a nearby tree flies a bat pony who eyes you carefully
>"Did you have something to report Anon."
>You nod
"Yeah guys I am out. What we are doing is starting to get to my daughter."
>The mare nods understandably
>"Got it. You are looking out for your family like a good stallion. Equestria needs more ponies like you."
>You smile and offer the mare your hand
"Stay safe Eclipse. If you or your friends ever need to lay low gimme a shout."
>She gives you a curt nod and starts to fly away
>Suddenly she stops and turns back
>"May your night last eternal brother."
"And yours as well sister."
>As you head back inside you cant help but to sigh in defeat
>Maybe fostering a communist revolution to put Luna in power wasn't the best way to entertain yourself while Dash was out saving the world


Hope you enjoyed my quick little thing.
>>
>>30468057
>>30468066
Do more when you figure out proper sentence spacing.
>>
>>30468115
Proper grammar is for faggots
>>
>>30468066
>your precious girls finally are asleep and you manage to sneak out to your back door
are* finally* asleep*
>>
>>30468121
That is correct, I haven't met one that could write properly yet. But if you are writing Hnnnng material here, you need to meet the basic writing standard.
>>
>>30468115
That extra space is a source of debate actually.
>>
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For anyone lurking here that was in the Herd thread, I've posted Chapter 8 over on /gtpone/. My apologies for my extended absence.

Link to /gtpone/ in this bin: https://pastebin.com/1q40b9Y3
>>
>>30468137
No, as in the internal sentence spacing.
>Ever since Dash taught her how to fly she has flown EVERYWHERE she could
Comma after fly. And there are quite a few that are like this. Run on sentences are a detraction.
>>
>>30468066
>communist revolution
What's that? Free helicopter rides you say?
>>
>>30468066
Better dead that red you communists faggot
>>
>Anon tries to avoid the Mane 6 because of all the batshit stuff they get sucked into.
>Starlight gets added to that list when she moves to Ponyville, much to her confusion.
>Anon chats up/is getting chatted up by Cloudchaser and Flitter, with the Flower Sisters conflicting with them over Anon.
>Meanwhile, the Six (and Glimmer) are in a rut.
>Stallions are either family, bit/fame-diggers, complete douches, or too scared of them.
>tfw Flash Sentry went into hiding from Twilight.
>The only stallion they can think of that isn't scared of them or fits the above criteria is Anon.
>...Come to think of it, while he actively avoids them, it's not out of fear.
>This bears some investigation.
>And by investigation, really it means spying, "coincidentally" meeting him in areas, etcetera.
>Anon is freaked out at the sudden interest, and is worried that he'll be sucked up into one of their batshit insane escapades.
>>
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>>30468066
>communist revolution

disgusting
>>
>>30468167
~yay~ Thanks Hawkeye! I'm be over shortly.
>>
>>30468274
>that pic
my sides
>>
>>30468066
>Communism
Dropped
>>
>>30468274
>dat pic

Honestly, that's how every robbery should end.
>>
>>30468274
>>30468391
>>30468400

Someone should CNN meme this pic
>>
>>30468400
>>30468391
>>30468274
Little did they all know, everyone with a gun was going to rob the place, but seeing other people with a gun made them keep their mouths shut.
>>
>>30468416
so youre saying everyone having a gun kept everyone civil and stopped law breaking
>>
>>30468428
I think that's exactly what he's saying

thanks for all the (you)s
>>
>Turns out, every semi-famous person on earth has an equis equivalent
>The doppelgangers will usually get along pretty well
>Trump has friendly business talks with Towering Riches
>Precise Measure vowed to help Chris-chan in his love quest
>Joji Is not allowed to meet his doppelganger for fear of national security
>>
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>>30468066
found the image I was looking for
>>
>>30468428
Jut this time by accident.
>>
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>>30468410
I'm loving the Trump vs CNN memes
>>
>>30468459
yeah sure
>>
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I'm so proud of RGRE right now.
>>
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>>30468274
>>30468416
>>30468428
THE SISTEM WORKS
>>
>>30468448
>Precise Measure
Saw what you did there
>>
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>>30468485
Same here, same here.
>>
>>30468485
I wonder what Celestia's policy is on weapons.

>tfw she restricts swords for civilians
>you show ponies the wonderful loophole that is the messer
>>
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>>30468448
>Joji Is not allowed to meet his doppelganger for fear of national security
>>
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>>30468512
>>30468448
So, is Joji's doppleganger Panks or something?
>>
>>30468525
Who is joji?
>>
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>>30468511
1911's for every one
>>
>>30468477
>>30468485
>Celestia sees the infamous "Grab 'em by the pussy" tape.
>She just thinks "THAT CAN HAPPEN?!"
>She begins to hang around humans a lot more often.
>>
>>30468196
Sounds like it to me...
>>
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>>30468554
>>30468477
>>30468485
>>
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>>30468485
RGRE has always been wishing for a place where anons can imagine loving another being who doesn't act like the modern day woman

Anons want a family, that's why sometimes RGRE seems to be heavily into pregnancy, it's because they just want a nice loving family.

It's a sad sign of the times that having a loving strong moral family is wish fulfillment
>>
>>30468538
>Filename
>Pink lycra on Ponka
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
>>
>>30468554
I wouldn't grabe her by the pussy
i would grab her by the cervex
>>
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>>30468566
>having a loving strong moral family is wish fulfillment
i-it's 2017

t-take your archaic, outdated beliefs back to yesteryear, grandpa
>>
>>30468665
It's [CURRENT YEAR] so families should be one man and one transgender, with a bull for the 'female' of the partnership, preferably of muslim descent, who will then behead you at his leisure but you aren't allowed to marry because marriage is a sin in the eyes of the liberal church of victimhood
>>
>>30468692
Anyone who disagrees with this is a small-minded bigot on the wrong side of history who is objectively and inarguably wrong, and their way of thinking is objectively wrong.
>>
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>>30468665
>>30468692
>somewhere out there in the vast multiverse, your pony waifu is feeling this feel in Sjw!RGRE
>>
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>>30468725
>Degenerate stallions destroying the family unit and racemixing
>>
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>>30468735
STRIPED
>>
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It's time to make equestria great again!
>>
>>30468822
>not NMM
I am having no part in this.
>>
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>>30468725
>sjw!rgre
Truly, the most horrible timeline
We must go save our pony waifus
Quick! To the dimension portals!
>>
>>30466278
>For some reason every time Anon and ToH fuck every harmony holder past or present feels it too.
>>
>>30468066
> Anon starts a communist revolution because he is bored
That's how you can tell he's more of a RGRE stallion than the actual stallions. No small horse can match this level of pure, petty, and destructive WHIMSY.
>>
>>30466105
>Pinkie
Ex gets acquainted with beings that sleep in the spaces between the stars.
>>
>>30468562
how glorious
>>
>>30468005
>Eventually Anon and Blueblood bond.
>A bit like brothers.
>Because fanon interpretation dictating a character's demeanor in 90% of stories involving said character is bullshit.

Seriously, the absolute hatred and autistic screeching at Blueblood because he snubbed Rarity was and still is super pathetic.
>>
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>>30468566
>>30468665
>>30468725
i didnt come here to feel
>>
>>30468264
>Anon doesn't want to go on magical adventures with characters literally backed up by fate and bullshit super-magic dictating that they can never lose.

The thought of someone being transported to a magical world and not wanting to go on awesome adventures purely because they don't like excitement when they are all but guaranteed to be safe angers me on a very deep level.
>>
>>30468959
Discord could, but he's trying to be on good behavior lately.

Anon is a bad influence on him.
Fluttershy found Discord trying to fan the flames of revolution, complete with commissar cap, it even had a little question mark on the front.
>>
>>30469203
>backed up by fate and bullshit super-magic dictating that they can never lose.
Yeah they can't, you can though.
>>
>>30469180
I like Blueblood both ways.

If you need a snooty noble fop to be the antagonist, he can fit nicely.

Alternatively, you can have him be a total bro once he actually knows you, or isn't putting on a show of being a snooty noble fop in public.
>>
>>30469203
Yes, they're safe. You however, do not have magical bullshitty plot armor that will protect you. That means the magic death bolts meant for say, Pinkie, will miss her but cleave a nice giant sizzling hole right through the center of your chest.
>>
>>30469213
An ally or someone part of their group dying would count as a loss for them. Unless it was an alternate universe that has a much more realistic setting they'd find a way to save you.
>>
>>30469231
They're protected by a magical tree that is apparently part of the planet itself or some shit, so they themselves are never going to get too injured or fail.
Both the magical land of Equestria and the tree however couldn't give a single fuck what happens to the magicless alien that just sorta tags along and does nothing of importance.
>>
>>30468167
Thanks for the update Hawk. Good character development and story progression. I look forward to the next update.
>>
>>30468167
why the hell are you posting it over there
>>
>>30467955
>Tirek is rampaging through ponyville.
>He spots a weird and young monkey- minotaur thing licking a cone of ice cream leisurely.
>"Boy. Are you not afraid?"
Eh, Purplesmart will deal with you.
>Tirek snorts and flicks the frozen treat away. The crunch from the cone breaking can be heard amidst the noise.
>For some reason the cowering of the ponies inside the buildings stopped and got replaced with fearful whimpering.
>Tirek sees the monkey thing's eyes fill with tears and is desperately trying to hold it back.
>The glare he received from the thing sent chills into his spine. Ahh young rage, He'll turn it into despair later. The purple princess comes first.
- later -
>"HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? YOU HAVE NO MAGIC!"
>"You're wrong Tirek! I may have given you my alicorn magic but I carry within me the most powerful magic of all. "
>The rays of light assaulting Tirek concentrated into one beam, sucking his magic dry.
>"Anon! No! Get out here it's dangerous!"
>"Hey Ahnawn! WHAT THE BUCK!"
>Tirek heard a shark cracking sound when suddenly his world exploded in pain and he lost his balance.
>A few more cracks followed but he couldn't see what happened.
>When his vision returned he saw the element of generosity vomiting from the sky and his various limbs bent in unnatural angles.
>"WH-WHAT THE-"
>another crack
>Barely awake and conscious from the extreme pain he's suffering he saw that little monkey thing, holding a tub of Ice cream and a bloody sledgehammer.
>Before he lost consciousness he saw little Anon scooping Ice cream and using his horn as a makeshift cone.
>>
>>30469295
What is best in life?
>>
>>30469316
Ice Cream.
>>
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>>30469321
THATS MA BOY!
>>
>>30466750
>>ever had that moment of clarity after a sex or a REALLY good wank?

It's called sage time
>>
>>30469333
Nirvana can only be glimpsed at for the fraction of a second of clarity after an orgasm when there is no want or need.
>>
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>>30469180
>>30469218
seriously, the fics where blueblood was putting on a front to deflect that gold-digging status-whorse make the most sense. after growing up in canterlot as the only prince (especially in an RGRE setting) he's got to be quite tired of ponies like her. he'd be better off getting to know and love one of the guardsmares or maids, someone who knows who he actually is beneath the mask he's forced to wear.
>>
>>30469269
he wants a thread all to himself, of course. how else would he get the maximum number of (You)'s?
>>
>>30469419
>he'd be better off getting to know and love one of the guardsmares or maids, someone who knows who he actually is beneath the mask he's forced to wear.
You have piqued my interest.
>>
>>30469419
>Blueblood is smitten with a maid
>His parents very sternly disapprove of this.
>He is of the nobility, so he is expected to marry a mare from another noble house.
>If he wants her as a mistress, they could tolerate that, but absolutely not until after he is married to a noblemare and has an heir on the way.
>He's resisted their efforts to arrange a marriage for him, he wants a mare he can love, not just a marriage of political convenience.
>Normally he wouldn't be able to refuse effectively, but his 'cousin's' ascension to become the Princess of Love has proven most helpful for him.
>She intervened on his behalf, insisting that he had the right to marry for love, and his parents backed down.
>>
>>30469453
>Normally he wouldn't be able to refuse effectively, but his 'cousin's' ascension to become the Princess of Love has proven most helpful for him.
>She intervened on his behalf, insisting that he had the right to marry for love, and his parents backed down.

>also his cousin's husband's sister's pet project is a total bro
>>
>>30469453
>>30469437
>>30469419
I need goodguy blueblood stories, only one i can think of is where he has autism.
>>
>>30469465
BroBlood Stories YES
>>
>>30469463
>Blueblood first encounters Anon when he's tormenting some nobles
>Blueblood sees something inside Anon he hasn't seen in a very long time
>They both bond by tormenting nobles, subtly ruining dinner parties, wearing ridiculous costumes together and acting like nothing is the matter, and corrupting all the young noblefillies
>>
>>30463228
Okay.
>Be Lord Farquad.
>He's dead.
>You win.
>Deus vult.
>>
>>30469480
>Blueblood is just a male celestia in terms of mischief but with FAR more social freedom
>and he know this
>anon and blueblood abuse this to no end
>celestia has never felt more pride for her nephew
>>
>>30468057
>2017
>still wanting to cum inside rainbow dash
How plebian
>>
>>30468566
>moral
Hangs out on 4ch
Somebody is self-blind
>>
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>>30469628
Didn't you get the memo? 4chins is now the bastion of justice and ethics
>>
>>30468692
Love how they say this kinda shit when even among libs there are probably like 1 in 10000 who actually think this. It's like libs that claim every republican is a deeply religious anarchist.
We're so screwed. Everyone has become an angry moron. And now it's affecting my pone, my last bastion of escape.
>>
>>30469618
>Not coming inside all the poners
You dingus.
>>
>>30469193
Feels good.
>>
A bit of pinkie comf for the thread


> Be Pinkie Pie
> For the past couple of nights, you've been getting tuft tangles, which means somepony could really use some cuddles
> But...
> You know who it is
> A little heavy, and funny around the face
> And not even haha funny, but sad funny
> Nature wasn't kind to the poor guy
> You scrunch a little just thinking about cuddling with Anon, but your Pinkie sense is insisting he is really hurting
> ...
> Time to eat your vegetables, Pinkie
> You wiggle through the cracks of the world and emerge in cottony darkness
> You push open the sock drawer-
> Poor Anon, It doesn't matter how many socks you have-
> And slip suuuuper quietly under his blanket
> At once you are hit with the scent of concentrated maleness
> Say what you will about Anon, and mares have, but he does keep himself smelling nice
> You crawl up behind him, and close your eyes
> Maybe if you pretend he's actually handsome...
> You wrap your hooves around him, drawing closer to the warmth of his broad back
> He tenses under your hooves
> "Wh-who's there?"
> You stroke his arm comfortingly
"It's just me, Anon. It's okay, my tuft tangles told me you needed some cuddle snuggles."
> He makes some abortive sounds before sighing
> "Pinkie sense?"
"Mmhmm!"
> Anon breathes quietly for a few moments, and you begin to hope he'll fall asleep soon
> Instead he starts talking
> "So, are you just going to cuddle until, what, my platonic affection meter goes back to baseline levels?"
> Not always platonic, some stallions needed a good hard loving, and who are you to leave them wanting?
> Then your mind pictures giving Anon some hard loving and you feel your marehood dry up like a clam in the desert
> Augh, you're going to have to never think about that again
> You try to smile, not that it matters in the dark
"Sorta! I cuddle until you feel better about yourself. It's like a reminder that somepony always cares!"
>>
>>30470353
> You feel a little stab of guilt, thinking of those nights when you didn't follow your Pinkie sense
> He finally relaxes, rolling onto his back
> You drape a hoof across his chest and rest your head on his shoulder
> One nice thing about him being heavy is, he is soft enough to be comfy
> He sighs, patting your hoof
> "Thanks, Pinkie."
"Mmhmm!"
> You can feel your tuft tangles loosen a little bit, but you can tell there's more you need to do
"Nonny, if you want to talk about what's bothering you..."
> He is silent for a little while
> His breathing becomes uneven, and you think you smell the faint scent of tears
> Anon speaks with a halting, strangled voice
> "I just...miss my family."
> Your heart breaks a little for him, and you double your cuddling efforts
> You remember what it was like when you first lived on your own
> And even then, you could always go home if you had to
> You nuzzle against his shoulder, murmuring assurances and comforting whispers
> Anon chokes back a sob
> Suddenly, you are wrapped up in his arms, squeezing you tightly against him
> You marvel a little at the strength in this stallion as you melt into the embrace
> Gradually, he quiets down, loosening his hold on you
> You find yourself missing the pressure and the warmth, but you have always been a snugglebug
> At last, he lays back, releasing you entirely
> You rest on his chest, listening to him breathe
> "Hey Pinkie?"
"Yes, Nonny?"
> "Thanks, I really needed that. You're a good mare."
> You smile as you feel your tuft untangle
"You're super welcome, Bonny Nonny! You gonna be okay for tonight?"
> He pats your head fondly
> "Yes, I think I will. Hope I didn't keep you up too late."
> You get up and stretch, a yawn escaping your mouth
"I'll be fiiiiiine. Sleep tight!"
> "Good night."
> And with that, you jump back in his sock drawer, through the crack in the world, and back home
> You consider taking a bath before bed, but...
>>
>>30470359
> You sniff yourself, a little glad to still have his scent on you
> Proof of a job well done
> You slide under your covers, and go to sleep


[The End]
>>
>>30470368
How is this garbage even RGRE?
>>
>>30469180
Yeah he only appeared ONCE, for maybe ten minutes or so, and yet the fandom think they know his entire life story. And don't even fucking get me started on that Deviations comic.
>>
>>30470423
It's arguably more than a lot of other background ponies. Like AJ
>>
>>30468525
>Joji and ponko actually have a touching scene together
>THEN all hell breaks loose
>>
>>30463936
>Pone will never cherish you for all her years
>>
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>>30468525
>implying it's not Moondancer
>>
>>30468448
>Precise Measure vowed to help Chris-chan in his love quest

>Chris is a transgirl
>Precise is a transcolt
>On one hand, if they had sex with each other, neither of them would be virgins
>On the other, their trans identities make it kind of gay...
>>
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>>30470418
>>
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>>30468525
>>
>>30470418
Here, let me make it "RGRE enough" for you
> Pinkie rolls in bed, hoof rubbing her marehood
> It always got her so hot, snuggling unsuspecting stallions
> Suddenly, Anon bursts into her room, with his foot long diamond cock
> "I am not a pathetic stallion! I'm a maaaaaaannnnn!!!"
> With that, he seizes her roughly and pumps her full of seed
> Pinkie writhes under the onslaught, all big strong mareliness stripped away as pleasure floods her mind
> Later, when Pinkie Pie tells Twilight, the fake princess rolls her eyes
> "That's impossible, Pinkie. Everypony knows stallions are too passive, and need a strong mare to rape them."
> Meanwhile, Anon struts around, impregnating mares and getting catcalls and compliments

Hopefully that wasn't too subtle, and let you insert as Anon more comfortably.
>>
>>30470694
but chris is also a lesibian and percise is gay, so it would still be okay but not okay when you think about it but there trans so it would be okay but also their gay so it wouldn't.
>>
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>>30465482
>Who is it?
>Who's that mare-whore who took advantage of your colt while he was upset and vulnerable!?
>How did she even hook up with your sweet Anonymous?
>Did she get him drink first?
>Did she promise to buy him something shiny?
>Damn it, you knew you should have bought Anon more jewelry!
>Now he's going to be overwhelmed by that blasted mare's "generosity", and she'll convince him that you were a cheapskate who didn't love him because you didn't buy him enough presents.
>This shit's the worst.
>You're gonna have to buy him a nice suit at and at least two nice cooking books if you want to smooth things over with him.
>Don't worry, foal! Your old mare's coming!

>Before you sits Princess Luna, who looks especially smug today.
>Anon is sitting in her lap, and Luna has her forelegs wrapped around his chest.
>You can barely see Anon's head through that thick chest fluff that's burying him from behind.
>You resist the urge to look down at your slightly below average sized chest fluff self-consciously
"Son of a bitch."
>>
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>>30470624
>you will die alone and unloved and unponied
>>
>>30470782
>Anon's original girlfriend was Princess Celestia

>Nightmare Moon was just an excuse
>>
>>30470782
Top kek.
>>
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>>30470820
>>you will die alone and unloved and unponied
>unponied
>ponied

>>30468758
PONIED
>>
>>30470368
that was cute
>>
>>30470368
I appreciated your work, Anon.
>>
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>>30468758
it saddens me there is so very little content with zecora or zebras since no one wants/can write that much rhyming dialogue.
>>
>>30468566
Isn't it natural to crave what you can't have IRL? No, it's not, really. Human x pony is pure degeneracy.
>>
>>30471626
It passes the Harkness test so it's only half degenerate in that you can't reproduce.
>>
>>30471639
It's two different species we're talking about. We all know God wouldn't want us to fuck things that don't look like us.
>>
>>30470782
I fund it cause I love moonhorse
>>
>>30471651
Finding another sapient species somewhere out there in the universe kinda calls into the question the existence of God, doesn't it. I mean supposedly humans were created intelligent and self aware so that they can follow God's will
>>
>>30471771
You will die before another sapient species is found somewhere out there.
>>
>>30471793
Maybe I'll be reborn as a pony
>>
>>30471771
But we were also created in his image, so finding other life would not really be a slight on God. maybe we just the ones he wanted to look like him?
>>
>>30471803
TF! REEEEEEEEEE
>>
>>30470353
>A bit of pinkie comf for the thread
>Pinkie constantly remarking on how repulsed she is

It doesn't feel comfy
>>
>>30471842
That's fair. I wrote it as a sort of continuation of an ugly Anon prompt from the bin.
>>
>>30471842
>Anon was turned into a pile of Terminator-like goop on entering Equestria.
>However, remains in the shape of his original human self in public.
>Also worried about being dissected or something.
>Ponies are friendly but physically repulsed/uneasy around him, but are mostly polite because of being a male.
>Pinkie discovers by chance he can physically alter himself.
>Predictably, it leaks out.
>Now knowing that he can shape-shift, ponies who once scorned him are trying to butter him up.
>>
>>30471951
>When Anon wants to take an incognito vacation from Ponyville, he assumes the form of a normal pony stallion.
>By a million-to-one chance, Pinkie and the others are in Manehatten the same time Anon is.
>They pass him in the street, and Pinkie, being Pinkie, senses something off about that stranger on the street and follows her gut, stalking him.
>Anon is rumbled.
>>
>>30470889
I'm surprised Discord didn't get busted out of his statue prison on the spot with how much disharmony Anon created in that moment.
>>
>>30471971
>not going full terminator and spiking her
>>
>>30471951
>Ponies find out Anon is a shapeshifter
>Become convinced that he is a Changeling
>Chrysalis hears about this, and 'aww hell naw's' her way to Ponyville to investigate.
>>
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>>30472043
Ain't no uppity colt stepping on Big Chryssi's turf.
>>
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>>30471842
On the one hand, pinkie helps people she finds physically repulsive and thats nice.
On the other, she's literally only doing it because her pinkie sense is bothering her, and has ignored it in the past.
>This anon is such a piece of shit even pinkie thinks twice about helping him feel better.

>>30471651
>>30471771
>>30471817
>You are made in Gods image.
>You are a living example of Gods love for humanity.
>Not introducing that love to the xenos.
It is your god given right, neigh, duty as a Man to spread the seeds of Love on foreign soil.
>>
>>30471793
Because there are no other sapient species.
>>
>>30472066
>Chrysalis planned to demonstrate her obvious superiority and convince him to join her hive
>Then she saw him transform
>Not in a flash of magical fire, but liquid SHINY AND CHROME
>She might be a little bit intimidated
>>
>>30471511
Would love some zecora love in here
>>
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>>30472197
would read
>hfw
>>
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>>30472243
>>30472197
>Aggresively joins his 'hive' to try and discover his secrets, offering the services of her own in exchange.
>Which basically translates to the entire changeling swarm taking up residence in Anon's basement.
>This basically confirms he's some sort of super changeling in the eyes of everypony.
>It was only after the intial panic subsided that they realised that nothing's come out of anon's house since the swarm descended on it.
>Princesses personally investigate, find anon sporting a dozen extra arms, petting and scritching a circle of changelings while teaching a larger group what appears to be basic algebra while a slightly chubby looking Chrysalis is comatose on a bed in the corner.
>Turns out humans, even terminator-esque puddles of sentient mercury dont simply 'run out' of Love.
>Luna curses over the fact her favorite snuggle buddy is apparently now occupied indefinitely.
>>
>>30472316
>>Princesses personally investigate, find anon sporting a dozen extra arms, petting and scritching a circle of changelings while teaching a larger group what appears to be basic algebra while a slightly chubby looking Chrysalis is comatose on a bed in the corner.
I like thing
>>
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>>30472066
>>30472043
Oh yeah? You and what army?
>>
>>30472338
>poohcie realizes she's no longer in the show
>becomes a bumbling autist like she was originally planned to be
>>
>>30472121
This is really improbable if you start to get an idea of how stupidly massive the universe is. The sad thing is though that there might as well not be, because they'd probably be out of the Local Group and therefore out of our reach no matter how fast we go with conventional point A point B travel.
>>
>>30472434
the best timeline
>>
Is this even RGRE anymore?
>>
>>30472507
Just post prompts
>>
>>30472507
Mate, it's been like this for a long time now.
>>
>>30472316
>>Luna curses over the fact her favorite snuggle buddy is apparently now occupied indefinitely.
>occupied indefinitely.
>letting that stop her
>>
>>30472507
People mocked me. They said I wasn't right, that I sprouted false words...
Heed me now, RGRE! I told you before, and I will keep telling you until understand!

RGRE is DEAD!
>>
>"Twilight, could you pass the syrup please?"
"Of course, princess."
>Be Twilight Sparkle
>It was getting late, and after such a long, stressful, HORRIBLE day you had realized that you hadn't eaten a single thing
>Nor did Princess Celestia, or any of your guests
>So the princess had everypony come to the royal dining room to get some food in their bellies
>Tonight a special meal was to be prepared
>Your favorite when you were still living in the castle
>Breakfast for dinner, or Brinner as some of the staff liked to call it
>Pancakes, hay bacon, toast, enough syrup to drown a manticore
>Usually, this would just be the thing to put you in a good mood
>You'd eat your bodyweight in Prench toast and pass out at the table and everything would be fine
>But, of course, this didn't happen
>Because some high being was making it their personal mission to make your life miserable
>The royal dining room, since it was the royal dining room, was massive
>This was where the princesses hosted their parties and entertained friends, dignitaries and everything in between
>Because of this it was able to fit both lord Aegis's party and Empress Helga's retinue with ease
>And there lied the problem
>On one side of the room, sitting at their table with their weapons in hand or very close by, were the knights
>On the other side of the room, looking excitedly at the humans, were the nobility of Labyrinthia
>The Empress's cousins, aunts, counts and marcher ladies and dukes
>Some of them were young, some old, and nearly every single one had lost a family member to at least one of the knights in attendance, if what said Ser Hothel was true
>>
>>30472741
>What was incredibly odd however was that none of the heifers were glaring at the humans with looks of contempt or anger, or conveying any of the appropriate responses that one would usually have when sitting across from somepony that had killed a family member
>They were chatting excitedly among themselves, pointing out one of the knights every few moments before giggling like a bunch of school colts; not at all acting like the fierce, mighty warriors that you had seen roaming the castle since you were little
>The Empress seemed to be the worst offender at this
>The big cow couldn't sit still, looking at each of the men like you looked at a new novel series
>More than once she had tried to call out across the room, to ask a knight their name or point out an apparently famous individual, wherein she would cover her face with her hands and repeat the phrase "ohmygosh!" so many times that some of her guards looked ready to throw themselves out of a window
>The knights didn't respond to any of her callings, nor to any of the other minotaurs that worked up the courage to speak with them
>They didn't say a word, they barely ate, and always they were watching the taurs carefully
>Both you and Princess Celestia were sitting at a small, plain table in the middle of the room between the two groups
>The minotaurs, being minotaurs, didn't notice the tension in the room, but you did
>Oh you did...
>It was so thick in the air that you could have dipped it in your cup of hot chocolate and taken a bite out of it
>You had a feeling that if you and the princess weren't sitting where you were, the knights might have gotten violent
>VERY violent...
>"It's very rude for a Princess to stare too long, my dear. Especially when she does so so plainly."
>Blinking, you looked over at Princess Celestia
>Your old teacher was staring at you out of the corner of your eye while she enjoyed a stack of pancakes
>>
>>30472754
>But you had known the Princess all of your life
>You knew she could eat far more than that
>She WAS the princess, after all
"Oh, excuse me Princess," you said, looking away from the table of knights to pick up your fork and knife
>"There's nothing to apologize for, dear," the Princess said, levitating over a bottle of syrup and adding a healthy amount onto your hashbrowns. "Now eat up. You know how the staff feels when you don't empty your plate."
>You nodded, cutting a square out of your stack and popping it into your mouth
>As you chewed, you looked over at the Empress
"...Princess?"
>"Yes my dear?"
"Do you think it's really a good idea to have everypony in the same room like this together? Especially with what happened today?"
>The Princess hummed as she stuffed a hoofful of hay bacon into her mouth before levitating over the bottle of syrup and upending it into her maw
>You waited patently as the princess chewed and swallowed, letting out a Princess-like burp when all of the food had gone down her gullet
>"Oh, please excuse me," she said, dabbing her mouth with a napkin. "And I have a feeling that everything will be fine, Twilight."
>One of the minotaurs called out
>A knight frowned, pulling his sword from its sheath and placing the naked blade onto the table
"Are you sure? Because it looks like it'll go in the opposite direction."
>"The knights are just finicky because what happened with poor Aegis, nothing more," the Princess said. "If Helga had actually been the one to plan the attack on their lord I'm sure it would be different, but like myself the knights no doubt believe that she didn't do such a thing."
>She cut a chunk out of her stack of pancakes and bit into it, pouring more syrup into her mouth
>"I'm sure these fine fellows dislike these nice heifers as much as they look like they do, but unless their lord specifically orders it I doubt there will be any bloodshed."
>>
>>30472759
>You nodded, helping yourself to another mouthful of pancake
"I hope so."
>"There's nothing to worry about, Twilight," the Princess said. "When Luna finally manages to find our would-be assassin, I'm sure everything will be well."
>Princess Celestia tried to pour syrup into her prench toast, only for nothing to come out
>She frowned
>"Oh my goodness, out already?"
>From the knight's side of the room Anonymous, who was serving the knights, perked up
>Grabbing two bottles of syrup from their table, he scurried over to the two of you
>"Here you go, your highnesses," he said with a bow of his head
>Celestia smiled, taking the bottles from him
>"Thank you very much, dear," she said. "But you didn't need to come over here. I could have just called a servant."
>"We weren't using any of it anyways," Anon said with a shrug. "And a page needs to make sure that the whole room is served."
>You perked up
"So you always have to wait the tables when you eat?"
>"I do, your highness," Anonymous said. "Unless I'm told otherwise."
"And what about your food? When do you eat?"
>"When I can mostly. Sometimes I can only eat after everyone else has."
>Though it didn't sit very well with you that a colt as young as Anon had to stand around like a servant--you WERE a progressive mare after all--you couldn't help but find that incredibly interesting
>"Well, there's no need for you to wait on anypony tonight, dear," Princess Celestia said. "I have more than enough staff to see to everypony's needs. Now go and help yourself to some food."
>Anonymous smiled
>"Yes, your highness."
>He turned, and was about to make his way back toward his table, when something flashes across the Princess's face
>"Actually, Anonymous?"
>>
>>30472765
>"Your highness, I would appreciate if you didn't try to wrangle my page into any of your schemes."
>"I don't know what you mean, my lord," the princess said without skipping a beat
>Lord Aegis grunted a thanks as one of his knights passed him a glass of water
>"I've been around nobles for far longer than I should, girl. I know when one's scheming," he grumbled, draining his glass in two gulps
>On the other side of the room, a squeal could be heard
>"He's sooooo cool!"
>Looking over, you watched as the Empress stood up
>You could see the heifer's tail wagging as she made her way around her table toward lord Aegis and his knights
>She was plainly trying her hardest to keep herself from running, her eyes glowing with excitement
>Lord Aegis watched as the minotaur made her way toward them with a raised eyebrow
>His knights weren't nearly as calm, many lifting weapons and pointing them at her
>Oh horse apples...
>You tried to stand up, only for the princess to stop you
>"It's fine, Twilight," she said
"B-But princess..."
>"It's fine. Just sit and watch."
>Empress Helga, who somehow didn't seem to notice all of the weapons pointed at her, stopped just in front of the knight's table
>Her tail flicked left to right before wrapping around her leg; a tell-tale sign of minotaur nervousness
>"H-Hell--Ahem! Good afternoon, my lord," she said with a bow. "It's very nice to see that you're doing good! I mean, awesome! I mean well! Well; that's what I mean!"
>Lord Aegis was silent as he looked the Empress over, drumming his hand against the table
>"Your Holgan's spawn then?" he asked
>The empress nodded
>"Yes sir-- I mean, yes my lord!" she said, beaming. "It's really, really, REALLY nice to finally meet you!"
>>
>>30472771
>Lord Aegis grunted, not taking his eyes off the Empress as Anon placed a plateful of food in front of him
>"I've been told that I nearly throttled you not a few hours ago."
>"You did, but it's fine!" the empress assured, not knowing what to do with her hands. "I mean, I'm okay with you choking me anytime you want!"
>...
>It took a few moments, but eventually the Empress realized what she had said
>The heifer's at the table behind her snickered as a blush worked its way onto her face
>"Very smooth, my lady," a minotaur called
>"ShuttheFUCKupHolgian!" the Empress hissed, staring at lord Aegis nervously
>The lord just looked back at her calmly as he picked up a fork and knife and started eating
>"I suppose that I should apologize," he said, more to himself than to her. "I don't want Drfual hearing about this and giving me Hell..."
>His eyes narrowed as he shoved a forkful of pancake into his mouth and chewed
>Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Celestia lean forward expectantly
>Setting his utensils down to wipe his mouth with a napkin, lord Aegis shook his head
>"Empress Helga I.... apologize," he said with a nod of his head. "If there is anything that I could do to make up for my actions ask and I will--"
>"Can I have your autograph?!" the empress shouted
>Lord Aegis winced at the minotaur’s outburst, and more than a few of his guards nearly dropped their weapons in surprise
>"...I do not write," the lord said. "I would be... happy enough to give you one of my seals if you...."
>Lord Aegis continued to speak but you didn't hear him
>Didn't write?
>What the hay did he mean?"
>He was a lord!
>He should be writing all the time!
>Though you didn't know it, you found yourself sitting up in your chair
>>
>>30472776
"Um, excuse me, lord Aegis?"
>The lord's gaze flinched from the empress to you
>"Yes?"
"Could you clarify what you meant about not writing?" you asked.
>"It' means that I don't write, your highness," lord Aegis said, leaning back into his chair. "I don't trust those damn squiggly lines, so I neither write nor read."
>...
>...
>...
>W-What?
>You could feel the color leave your face
>Your stomach tightened into a ball
>The very light in the room seemed to dim
"You... You don't r-read or write?"
>"No. I never learned. Nor will I."
>Each word lord Aegis said felt like a punch to the gut
>You had fought monsters, tyrants, gods of unimaginable power
>But this...
>This...
>...
>THIS...
>You opened your mouth to say something, what, you didn't know, when you heard a voice behind you
>"My lady! We did as you asked!"
>Everyone in the room turned toward the door
>There, standing in a nice, neat little formation, were twenty incredibly proud minotauri
>Each was carrying a pony under an arm, some of which looked like they had been beaten
>Behind all of them was a very upset and haggered Luna, who was flanked by a dozen of the Night Guard
>"We went out and found a bunch of suspicious looking ponies, my lady," one of the heifer's said, beaming
>Lord Aegis looked at the minotaurs and their captives
>>
>>30472787
>"A small filly looked suspicious to you?" he asked, nudging his head at the shaking filly in her arms
>"Yep!" the minotaur chirped
>You could smell smoke to your left, as well as feel the temperature of the room rising, signaling that the princess wasn't all that happy
>Looking over at the table of minotaurs, you saw some of the taurs noticed this as well, many of their pale and wide-eyed
>Lord Aegis shook his head again, looking down at his food
>"Gods above... how you creatures once had the largest empire in Equus astounds me..."
>>
>>30472796
Alright, I'm done.

Hey, I guess I'm getting interviewed for something called the Barcast tomorrow at six or seven. If you guys have a fim account and want to ask any questions, shitpost or not, here's a link:

https://www.fimfiction.net/group/212308/the-barcast/thread/325202/little-big-pony---070707---the-barcast

I think they have a twitch thing they get into so other people can listen in, so I'll post a link for that if you guys want to hear me talk for hours and hours.

Or not, whatever floats your boat.
>>
>>30472796
Which of your stories in your pastebin is this one?
It's always a bit confusing following your stories where you left them since you never link the pastebin story in your starting post, like others do.
>>
>>30472852
Diplomacy
>>
>>30472807
Thanks for the update LaP. And I'm a little curious why you're being interviewed and who "the Barcast" is.
>>
>>30472807
am I imagining it or is there a post missing between >>30472765
and>>30472771
? it feels a lot like it
>>
>>30472893
My interpretation is that when Tia is asking Anon for something that Aegis is trying to immediately nip it in the bud as he doesn't want Anon to be taken advantage of or be used as a pawn in something.
>>
>>30472918
possibly but it feels a little weird seeing as Aegis wasn't even mentioned being there before.

I also noticed it in the update where he actually got shot, it felt like there was a missing post between twilight starting to talk to the knights and aegis getting shot.
>>
>>30472893
>>30472918

Yeah, I fucked up a little bit. It'll be fixed in the bin
>>
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>>30469269

Much like how a story about Rainbow Dash fisting Fluttershy would not fit in AiE (as it does not feature Anon in Equestria) my Herd story does not fit the specifications of this thread, as the gender roles are not reversed.
>>
>>30473074
then why the fuck are you mentioning it here?
>>
>>30473211
Presumably because the Herd general is dead again, and we're the closest thing to it.
>>
>>30473249
rip herd general
>>
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>>30473249
A shame that is not the case, and never will be
>>
>>30468274
This is why gun control and the obscene restrictions seen in many American states is bad.

The criminals will still have guns.
If the average guy is allowed to carry his own concealed firearm, then there's a cop around every corner ready to shoot or preform a citizen's arrest on any criminals who try to commit a crime.
>>
>>30468428
Gun control fuckwit logic.
>>
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>>30470368
Silly.
Unattractive anons don't go to Equestria.
They go to the smollest shop of pets to acquire discrete anus excitement.
>>
>>30473420
well memed
>>
>>30473416
Shut up goy just depend on the state :^)
>>
>>30473416
>Equestria's firearms are still in the black powder era (though that makes sense since the lack of conflict.)
>You still want one though, and go to the only weapon store in town to get a cap-n-ball six shooter.
>You catch shit from the old fudd mares there who try and treat you like you're retarded.
>But the tryhard /k/ mare who is there everyday sees you, overhears how you like guns, military history, and innawoods stuff, and falls in love on the spot.
>>
>>30471817
>But we were also created in his image, so finding other life would not really be a slight on God. maybe we just the ones he wanted to look like him?

The Bible confirms non-human extraterrestrial non-corporeal energy beings (spirit creatures such as angels, demons, even God himself).

So if you're not Christian, but a Christian tells you that there are no such things as aliens, you can correctly tell them the Bible goes into great detail confirming the existence of alien life.
And if you're a Christian, and a non-Christian tells you you're a fool for not believing in aliens, you can tell him right off for the same reason.

Checkmate, people-who-don't-believe-in-alien-life!
>>
>>30472736
>>
>>30473604
Da fuck?
I was sure I had posted the image to go with this.
Oh well. Better late than never.
>>
>>30473609
You know, it really warms my heart someone made a copypasta just for me.
>>
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>>30473074
>Anon wants RD to pick out a pet to complete the "normal family" theme for their new home.
>Rainbow wants herd sisters to share Anon with because no one believes her when she brags about him lasting more than a minute (let alone if she told them HOW long he lasts), to avoid being branded hot-stallion-hogging monogamist scum, and of course she wants said herd sisters to be ponies she already considers friends because she's loyal.

>Anon is pleasantly shocked/surprised coming home from a trip to the market to find RD leading a ball-gagged, gimp-suit-wearing Fluttershy around by a collar.

Fluttershy is amazed but ecstatic that her extremely kinky BDSM femsub fetish only turns on Anon, and that RD is fine with being her dom (though she refuses to dominate Anon, because her momma didn't raise no stallion beater).
>>
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>>30473728
It was pretty well made.
>>
>>30473416
So what about all those mass shootings then?
>>
>>30473548
Mares name is conceal carry
She can carry you guns and your foals without anyone seeing
>>
>>30473933
Most ponies don't know she's pregnant until she gives birth in the middle of a public space.
>>
>>30473929
This is why we need more gun-free zones

They wouldn't have happened if guns hadn't been allowed in those places.
>>
>>30473929
You mean the ones Muslims are doing in Europe?
>>
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>>30473548
>You catch shit from the old fudd mares there who try and treat you like you're retarded.

"Well, I'm new to shooting, so I thought I'd get a thirty-six calibre-"
>"Dat fuhty-fahr calibre is jus' th' right size fer a colt like yew."
>"Not too much kick, still plenny powerful fer holdin' off a would-be rapist."
>"Don' bother wit' none o' them smaller calibres, them's no good."

"And, uh, I did some reading, and it looks like Cupcake Surprise Armory has the best workmanship, so-"
>"Whut commie rag was y'all readin', boy? Git a Canterlot Armory or yer better off wit' nothin'. Ah would'n trust muh life on anythin' from one o' them other gunmakers, y'all know there's a reason they're called Canterlot Armory is 'cause everthin's made right here in 'Questria, an'..."
"You know they outsourced production to Manexico years ago, right?"
>"Git out a'fore Ah wring yer cock, colt."
"W-what?"
>"Da's it. Girls, it's time t' teach dis 'ere colt some ruspect! Dese colors don' run, boy!"
>>
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>>30472857
>>30472807
AW YEAH

I just caught up to it up
Amazing stuff, as always.

I really like this adventure/world-building stuff even more than smut, even.

Hope we'll see more of Lord Aegis Party and Anon next update. I gotta catch up to RGRE, I haven't been here in a while.
>>
>>30473939
>>30473933
>CCarry is one paranoid mare so she practices ridiculous shit like tactical organ shifting so any would-be crooks can't hit her vitals.
>Now pregnant, she keeps her womb pushed as far back as she can, shielding the foal with her other organs.
>She doesn't even tell you about the ironskin spell she has on her belly or the extra hot "Blow a manticore to pieces" ammo in her six-shooter.
>>
>>30474054
>Standard safety protocol for revolvers is to keep the hammer on an empty chamber, to prevent accidental firing
>Concealed Carry keeps bullets in all six, "In case 5 isn't enough!"
>Incidentally, she's also missing most of the hoof on the leg she carries her gun
>>
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>>30474175
>not having a 7 or 8 shot revolver
>not being operator enough
>>
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>>30474191
>She also has this
>>
>>30474054
CC and her sister CQC
>>
>>30472331

This thing is a good thing.
>>
>>30474280
>Stallions are a bit wary around CC and CQC.
>Not because they're armed, but of what happens if you happen to get a little to close in their personal space.
>The last stallion that tried to hug CQC ended up thrown on the ground and choked unconscious.
>>
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>>30472771
>>"He's sooooo cool!"
For some reason this made me lose it. Fangirling warrior and noble minotaurs is hilarious.
>>
>>30474054
So you're saying she's perfect wife material? Would have many foals with and be married to for sixty years.
>>
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>"Thanks but no thanks Anon."
"Oh come on!"
>"Ah jest don"t read much ya know?"
"Just give it a chance."
>"Alrite fine!"
>".....uhh Anon? there's a gun in here."
"That's why they call it the good book!"
>"....Anon?"
"Yeah?"
>"how do ya feel bout shotguns?"
"Love'em!"
>"a-an cider?"
"It's great!"
>"....ah think ah'm in love."
>>
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>>30474424
My kinda mare. Do you think any of the other mane 6 carry?
>>
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>>30474434
rainbow and fluttershy maybe?
>>
>>30474434
Fluttershy, because she lives close to the Everfree. Maybe Ponks too because she and her sisters had to defend the rock farm from trespassers, and she fears evil enchantress types.
>>
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>>30474440
>>30474448
I can totally accept Rainbow and Fluttershy. Would make family mares.
>>
>>30474434
Rarity would be super into flintlocks. In a world of revolvers, that would be like carrying around a black powder six gun today.
>>
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>>30474440
>Applebloom shooting a righty AR with a lefty stance.
>No earpro
>It's also an SBR so it's retarded loud
So AB is probably catching hot brass to her face and she's deafened herself and her sister. Nice.
>>
>>30474434
Twilight does. She collects Ungula War 2 relics. Just don't ask for anything that's not from Griffonstone.
>>
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>>30474434
Pinkie. Definitely Pinkie. Any mare to own a cannon and use their friend as a gatling gun is definitely packing some heat.
>>
>>30474460
For some reason I can't see Dash being the type to own a weapon. At least during the early seasons. She would after becoming a Wonderbolt, because military, but she wouldn't be a hobbyist or feel the need to seek it out as a self defense option. That's the impression I get.
>>
>>30474434
>not having the bayonet on the mosin at all times or at least with you
pssh. filthy degenerates.
>>
>>30474487
I have a bayonet for my AR, does that count?
>>
>>30474484
Dash probably has a carry permit (if Equestria requires them) but she leaves her gun/weapon at home most of the time just because she forgets.
>>
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>>30474468
no ever accused them of being geniuses.
a family of gun toting hotties? sure, but certainly not geniuses.
>>
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>>30474487
>>30474494
I've got one for my pistol.
>>
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>>30474434
>AJ
>Mosin
>Not a Garand or some sort of shotgun
>>
All this talk of guns makes me wonder who the Annie Oakley equivalent in Equestria would be.
>>
>>30474511
My sides. Looks more like a prison shank.
>>
>>30474434
>Rarity carries a Thompson Contender. She gets a pleasant tingle in her loins whenever she slides a round into the chamber.
>Sweetie has a flamethrower.
>Twilight has a stinger missile launcher.
>>
>>30474494
close enough. its just that with a mosin, bayonet should be affixed at all times. or, ready to be affixed at all times. i mean, it's almost like she DOESN'T want to javelin throw a rifle at another being. those fuckin' things are more than just a gun i tell ya'.
>>
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>>
>>30474513
>not having a moist nugget
>>
Huh. Didn't realise so many /k/ommandos browsed RGRE.
>>
>>30474535
>Having a nugget in 2017
>When all the surplus ammo has dried up and new loads are $0.50 per round in bulk pricing.
Nigger please. If you've got one then keep it for the inflating sell price, but the nugget's glory days are over.
>>
ml/k/ strikes again
>>
>>30474544
There's a silent but larger than you'd expect overlap between /k/ and /mlp/
>>
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>>30474544
Guns are love guns are life.
>>
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>>30474544
Lots of guys in /a/ and /mlp/ are US military, from what it seems.
>>
>>30474607
Truly, from any era, warriors need something cute to distract from the horrors of war.

I remember reading foot soldiers in olden times often painted young girls on their shields, to remind them of home and having something cute to take their minds off things.
>>
>>30472316
>Implying Luna wouldn't join her game night buddy on the bed
ftfy
>>
"Y'ALL STAY AWAY FROM ANON YA HEAR!!!"
>"but applejack!-
"Don't 'but applejack' me, applebloom! he's not feeling well today so you an yer friend just git and stay git till tomorra!"
>"this could be ma only chance to git at em while his guards down!"
"...applebloom yer ma kin an ah love yew, so ah'm gunna ferget yew said that."
>you pull up your trusty shotgun and make a point of loading a shell into it.
"but if'n yew or yer friends ever try somethin' like that."
>You cock the gun sternly.
"Ah'll hav'ta protect the family name."
>Applebloom paled at the sight and sprinted off with her friends.
>snorting at the sight you sat down in front porch rocking chair.
>there was a reason why Anon came to you when he needed help.
>>
>>30474607
>>30474623
i know this is very Fimfic level bullshittery but i think i fit today's random theme

Ever since i started browsing RGRE, i would imagine up displacement stories just to pass the time before bed like a whole Roman legion would be dropped into pre-unified Equestria times (explaining their gear)

they'd act like a well oiled mercenary corp, leaving a whole field of corpses in their wake and whole towns of pregnant mares they get hired by Celly and Luna and become instrumental in the coming years as the backbone of equestria's military machine
>>
>>30473941
Ah yes, because a simple metal sign informing the MURDEROUS NUTJOBS WITH ILLEGAL GUNS are going to stop them!
But ya know, I bet if every one of the victims was armed, the body count would have been SIGNIFICANTLY lower.
Texas is a great example.
Some idiot with a rifle went up into a bell tower overlooking town, and started shooting indiscriminately at passers by. Ya know what happened? The entire crowd ENTHUSIASTICALLY pulled out their weapons and returned fire, pinning the gunman until the police arrived and handled the situation from there.

It's not a perfect solution, but it's the best by FAR.
(Something something RGRE.)
>>
>>30474670
I always get a hardon over the Roman Legion. They were truly before their time.
>>
>>30474632
>Luna has been starved of affection most of her life
>The lings don't care that she was once NMM
>If anything that just encourages them
>She's been the villain, she understands what it is to be feared and hated
>After Anon manages to introduce Luna and Chrysalis on more friendly terms than their last encounter, the rest of the lings quickly adopt the moon princess as an honorary member of the hive.
>Cuddles for all.
>>
>>30474675
I may be somewhat drunk, but I'm fairly certain that was sarcasm, Anon.

Also, is that story about the crowd returning fire true? Because that's fucking hilarious.
>>
>>30474670
It would explain why the royal guards wear the style of armor they do.
>>
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>>30474468
>>No earpro
As the NRA argued, the only 100% effective ear protection is a suppressor on the weapon. For all intents and purposes, you CANNOT damage your hearing if the weapon never produces enough decibels to do permanent damage.
>>
>>30474525
Auburn OakLeaf, the "Crack-Shot Colt"?
>>
>>30474704
I can't wait until Trump deregulates suppressors.
>>
>>30474687
This is the internet.
If it ain't /s/'d, it's legitimately an autist who means every last word wholeheartedly.
>>
>>30474728
Will second this.
Happens WAY too often.
>>
>>30474689
That was low-key explained in Hearth's Warming eve. The pegasus tribe as a whole dressed up like that, and were the biggest warmongers. That's probably why the guards are mostly pegasi to this day.
>>
>>30472787
Huh, I just thought of this, how did the humans fare when Terik was up and fucking about, did they see the lightshow?
>>
>>30472796
Well...cant fault them for their enthusiasm. That filly better get royal pancakes though.
>>
>>30474728
I've NEVER seen someone /s on 4chan. Seems more of a rebbit thing famalam.
>>
>>30474753
>Filly gets a stack of pancakes as tall as she is
>Celly looks on in approval as filly drenches it in syrup and sprinkles cinnamon and sugar all over it.
>>
>>30474712
Jesus Christ. I'd cream my fucking pants if that happened.
>>
>>30473742
Unf, is that the story the tripfag talking about?
>>30473933
I would hope no one could see the foals in her, if they could then it is a really really bad thing that happened...unless Twilight was fucking around with xray magic again. Actually scratch that, I don't trust her not to give my kids cancer or something.
>>
>>30473978
Uh, unf?
>>
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>>30474783
Applejack will always keep you safe.
>>
>>30474773
>Unf, is that the story the tripfag talking about?
Nope, just threw that out there off the top of my head.
>>
>>30474511
Hello John, when did you get back in the game?
>>
>>30474809
Oh, unf either way then.
>>30474792
I would love to ruin her in the barn, and in the fields, and her bed, and my bed...Twilights library desk while she's out. Eh, I would just get some of that sweet apple juice.
>>
>>30474765
Filly gets head pats with Sunbutt telling her she is proud of her good taste.
>>
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>>30474900
How many foals, Anon? Keep in mind you have to have enough hands... hooves to run a large orchard.
>>
>>30472796
>many of their pale and wide-eyed
of them*
>>
>>30474916
Every 11 months.
>>
>>30474916
Hmmm, that is a good question, between me, Mac, and Bloom picking and selling apples, we could probably afford to have her off every sets, of hopefully 2 a pop. I would slow down at 8, but that's just to see if we get any twins or not. Final number when we have enough kids to work and I could put her, and if necessary Apple Bloom, into broodmare status, thus expanding the line long enough to make Granny happy. So maybe......20? 15? Somewhere around there split up between the two. Of course this isn't bringing in my plan to expand the farm and bring in all the other produce mares into one giant conglomerate herd. None of my children will be missing school, we're taking this global! Though I also have to take into consideration the kids that need to find mates as well, so I might only take half of the main produce mares, ones that don't have a herd or kids yet, breed them, the slowly encroach on the others and bring them into the family as well, while also simultaneously having families for my kids to make on their own....am I insane for writing this out at 3:00AM?
>>
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>>30474958
Anon, so greedy. Multiple mares? Impregnating others other than Applejack? For shame.
>>
>Crazy shooter starts firing at people in Ponyville
>Right before Twilight starts talking plans Pinkie Pie pulls out six guns from her mane, under the table she was sat at, and behind a nearby trashcan and hands them to her friends
>Twilight pauses, looks severely unimpressed, then just teleports behind the shooter and hits him with a stun spell
>Twilight comes back to give Pinkie Pie a stern lecture
>Pinkie Pie interrupts and says it's easy to be anti-fun when you have a deadly assault weapon sticking out of your face, then storms off
>Twilight has to find Pinkie and tell her to stop being such a sensitive little colt, she's not anti gun she's anti storing guns in public fucking places pinkie pie Celstia damn I love you like a sister but that shits not ok
>>
>>30475053
I want the farm to expand to accomedate the foals, cant do that on our own comfortably, and besides, I promised to take Bloom too if she needed it, and that means the rest of the CMC too. But that's the extent of the none farmgirls I'm gonna take in, I need to breed hard workers....and I guess Rarity for baby clothes....and Fluttershy so we have some nice full teats on hand to help nurse the young and take cares of us...but mostly farmgirls.
>>
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>>30475101
>.and Fluttershy so we have some nice full teats on hand to help nurse the young and take cares of us
muh dik
>>
>>30475065
Ah Pinkie, her hearts in the right place, but the Cakes are gonna have a heart attack one of these days if the kids get ahold of one before she can stop them with Pinkie sense.
>>
>>30474728
I'm the one you made that autistic rant to. It was obvious sarcasm that at least one other person was able to see.
>>
>>30474687
Don't forget Texas hosted that draw the muslim pedophile prophet, got attacked by 2 Religion of Peace prophets who were promptly riddled with enough bullets to make a an lmg operator blush
>>
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>>30474434
>>30474464
I've always wondered about the portability of funz for ponies that don't always treat them like spears. Every pony that isn't a unicorn would have to wear a brace of some kind, and they be almost immobile in a fight.

I think a solution would be to have some kind of extension at the end of the barrel, just a prong or three long enough to keep it clear of the dirt, or just have some kind of flip-down metal cover that flaps into place every time they need to walk with it. hell, since it's almost impossible for them to utilize a stock, the barrel could be really long, with the lower mechanism all the way up near their withers, (close enough to reload with their mouths) with the grip forcing their hooves/legs (very strong on earth ponies) to take the recoil. you could even go balls-to-the-wall and add some kind of shotgun attachments to their back legs for close-quarter "buckshots."
>>
>>30474958
besides the incest with your own children, you sick fuck the biggest problem you're going to run into is the sheer numbers of your family members could seriously upset the demographics of ponyville. who will they marry? you'd need to send them away to another town to find a horsebando or ponewaifu, unless you're planning on creating your own ponified cult-complex where you're everyone's dad/grandpa.
>>
>>30475053

It's good to see one with Tex there actually smiling.
>>
>>30475428
I am not going to breed my kids, not sure where you got that idea, I just said I would take Applejack's little sister and her...and whichever mare is the highest competitor at the time. And yeah, we are going to expand, until the Empire is ours. Though I might just have 20 foals total, maybe more if twins, between all my mares.
>>
>>30474681
>>30474689
and the term "Equites" has a double meaning for legit equites but is another word for roman
>>
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>>30475296
If we're talking seriousness, pony funz would primarily be
A) mounted on their back with a mouth bit for firing.
B) designed to produce minimal noise due to their stronger hearing.
Standard triggers like your pic are probably too unwieldy for hooves, it'd be too easy for them to misfire during the early days of production/design and be too unwieldy for earth ponies.
Pegasi would have smaller funs they could strap to their sides or hooves, but going too large would cause the recoil to mess up their aim.

Picture marginally related.
>>
>>30475472
>>30474689
>>30474739
>>30474681
>Historian makes it to equestria.
>Studies ancient histories of the various races.
>Ancient pegasi writings are all in Latin.
>Talks about a band of warriors that revered the ancient tribe as bringers of lightning and thunder, offering tribute in exchange for favorable weather.
>Most of the group was decimated when they attempted to invade tartarus, apparently in an effort to make their way home "By marching out the other side."
>The few survivors passed on their knowledge to their winged rescuers, who carried on the traditions and customs of these Ro-manes as a sign of respect.
Bloody romans.
>>
>>30475513
>Passionate Italian Fabio goes to equestria
>The vikings managed to get to equestria first too
>Italians BTFO once again
>>
>>30474544
And that's why we can't have nice things around here.
>>
>>30475065
>If you knock on the counter by the jar of cookies an M4 will drop from above.
>>
>>30474054
>in an awkward situation
>need a distraction
>secretly is pregnant
>Tactical child birth
>>
>>30474659
10/10 wifeu
Would breed
>>
>>30473997
This is doing funny things to my penis

...am I a furry?
>>
>>30476233
I don't know anon, do you masturbate to ponies?
>>
>>30476281
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________yes
>>
>>30476296
You answered your own question then, anon!
You are a furry!
>>
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>>30476310
fug
>>
>>30476321
It's okay, anon. As long as you don't break out a fursuit your only mildly a degenerate.
>>
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>>30476340
>>30476321
>>30476310
Reminds me of this old image.
>>
>>30474054
So when does CC get her "Mom of the Year" award?
>>
>>30476368
When she sends her foals off to school with bullet proof backpacks.

http://www.bulletblocker.com/bulletproof-school-safety-protection.html
>>
>>30468545
That gun is my favorite too the good times i spend with that gun
>>
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>>30476351
>>
>>30473946
I'm talking about the good ol' USA.
>>
>>30476380
She can hide impossible amounts of guns and ammo on, in, and around herself
>>
>>30473929
What about all the mass shootings that didn't happen, because the psycho was shot dead?
>>
>>30476631
What about all the mass shootings that didn't happen because the psycho didn't have a gun?
And what about those that didn't happen because the psycho got psychiatric care instead of being laughed out of the clinic for being poor?
>>
>>30476351
>"Why won't you even consider having sex with one of us, Anon?"
"I"m not a fucking furry ok?"
>>
>>30476658
When he has no gun he has a knife
And banning guns does not stop criminals from having them. Just like how banning drugs did not stop people from having then
How hard is that for you to understand
>>
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how much REEEing would there be if I wrote a green with Anon and a drone pone in an RGRE setting? would that story have to be posted in the plane pony thread, or this thread?
>>
>>30474054
>First date
>"Wow, so there were guns in your world too, Anon? What did you you shoot?"
"Well, I had this one pistol in .40 that I-"
>"I think we should see other ponies."
>>
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>>30476730
gr8 b8 m8
>>
>>30476759
Fuckin' hell, why did that post make me laugh so much.
>>
>>30476775
it's an honest question. does story content have to be perfectly separated like food on an autist's plate? could a green be written with marital problems/drama in this thread now that /mp/ is dead, or would it have to be revived?
>>
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boy, I can't wait for green with this pone. would you reform her with your giant hugs?
>>
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>>30476845
I would reform her with my sandpaper to soften all the edge on her
>>
>>30475053
In Equestria, with the female-male birth ratio, only one female per stallion would almost certainly be viewed as greedy. Kinda like one guy having multiple wives on our world. (So perhaps it would even be illegal outside of being royalty or getting a special permit from the crown.)
I'm sure it's fine if a member (or members) of the herd die(s) and they never look to get another mare soley for legal reasons (IE, Rarara's parents) or if the stallion is so undesirable that they simply cannot find another mare willing to herd with them after X number of attempts (Mr. and Mrs. Cake).
But by-and-large pony society would have died out LONG ago if they didn't adapt to share males.
In the old days, they probably wouldn't have even allowed that sort of thing except for royalty, and maybe very influential nobles.
Now though, those who were unwilling to share probably just are social pariah. If the stallion isn't attractive enough to find many mares, nothing's held against the herd though (if the rest of the town confirms it), and of course if a stallion loses (one of) his mare(s) to illness or injury the herd wouldn't suffer further because of the remaining number in the herd.
>>
>>30475513
>>Most of the group was decimated when they attempted to invade tartarus, apparently in an effort to make their way home "By marching out the other side."
fucking metal
>>
>>30475065
Pinkie wouldn't store guns in some trashcan or out in the open. She's goofy, but she's not retarded. Rain and other natural elements would damage those firearms beyond repair in mere DAYS. Not to mention the oil would dry up in not to long, so operating the weapon without oil would do immense damage with every shot.

Every REAL mare knows you don't abuse a firearm, as your life, the lives of your family, and perhaps even the lives of friends/strangers could very well depend on a well maintained and cared for weapon.

Additionally, she'd have to have a SHIT TON of powder on her. Ball-and-cap ammo doesn't last very long after it's been loaded, because moisture in the air eventually renders the powder partially inert, and the same for the cap that allows the weapon to ignite said powder.
(That's why in the old days, the police would replace their weapon's loaded ammo every day, and both re-oil as well as replace the ammo every time the weapon got wet.)
That's something that always bothered me about Cpt. Jack Sparrow's one shot island pistol. They leave you to believe that he was still using the same shot he was given on the island, but the powder would have been useless after a week (or the first drop/swim in ocean water) and even the lead ball would have corroded from saltwater exposure, so there's NO way anything but the flintlock pistol itself was the original stuff given to him by Barbosa on the island.
>>
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>>30475513
>>Most of the group was decimated when they attempted to invade tartarus, apparently in an effort to make their way home "By marching out the other side."
Talk about ballsy motherfuckers holy shit
>>
>>30476730
Drone pone is the cutest and makes more sense than plane pones. Try it, some of the cutest green I've read was of drone pone.
>>
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>>30476984
Shit headcanon tbqh famicon. I want to happily live with a monogamist pone.
>>
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>>30477072
Me too.
>>
>>30476658
>What about all the mass shootings that didn't happen because the psycho didn't have a gun but the guards/police/citizens did?
Fixed that for ya, familam.
>>
>>30476669
Exactly.
Banning drugs didn't stop people from buying drugs (granted, virtually all recreational drug use fucks you up over time), but prohibition didn't stop people from making and drinking booze.
>>
>>30476730
Do it.
Just fucking do it i wanna see the green fagot
>>
>>30476901
I want to put my dick in that so much.
>>
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>>30477040
>>30477061
It sounds cool until you realise how stupid it was in reality

>be Charles XII, king of the Great Empire of Sweden
>you rule the greatest land in all of Europe, at least you so believe
>read too much about your great-grandfather's involvement in the Thirty Years' War
>decide it sounds cool and invade Russia in winter
>ooops, your allies didn't come
>no matter, as long as you don't get ambushed it's fine
>get ambushed
>lose all your army
>get blocked from coming home
>have to run away through Russia to Kebabs to seek refuge
>hide in their capital trying to stir shit for months before they finally kick you out
>tfw greatest ruler in history
>>
>>30476759
I never did understand why so many people hate the .40 cal. I personally like it well enough. It's a nice happy medium between a 9mm and a .45 caliber. (That, and the hollowpoint .40 rounds are easiest to put a .38 special primer inside and fingernail polish it in there so it won't come out. That shit will literally blow a watermelon apart like it got hit by a shotgun slug, and will tear a piece of 2x4 lumber in half like someone hit it with a tank shell. Granted, it's not legal to make explosive ammo like that, so beware the po po, but FUCK if it isn't fun!)
>>
>>30476658
Because Islam Isn't classified as a disorder.
>>
>>30477185
That's a completely different situation, Anon.
>>
>>30477072
>Only wanting one poner.
Normie, REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
>>
New thread?
>>
>>30477223
>>30477278
>>
>>30477205
Paris is on there three times, topkebab.
>>
>>30477195
>Granted, it's not legal to make explosive ammo like that, so beware the po po, but FUCK if it isn't fun
Are you sure about that?
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