RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

>>29863161
fuck you

straight colta

Repost

>"Hey there, hot stuff. Want me to carry those books for you? You've got algebra next, right? Cool, cool. The name's Rainbow Dash - remember that, 'cuz you'll be moaning it by this Saturday night."
>You are Anon, and Twilight fucked up on getting you home; you're now a 17-year-old high schooler at horse-human school.
>You do your best to stay positive and try to consider this an opportunity to breeze through high school and enjoy an extra ten years of your life.

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>>29863124
>Reverse Gender Roles
What the fuck this? Why is this shitty thread still a thing? Delete this thread faggot.

>>29863330
>Delete one of the biggest, fastest moving, generals on this board
Okay

>29863330
>six threads look same
>suddenly retard
This is starting to get old.

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>29863330
>retard

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>>29863330
Better luck next time, friendo.

>>29863330
girls
GIRLS
ANON JUST RIPPED OFF HIS OWN THUMB
WE NEED TO GET HIM TO THE HOSPITAL
oh wait it's back on again
NO HE RIPPED IT OFF AGAIN COME ON

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>tfw no qt bug to kidnap you and feed off your love

The alicorns are fascinated by Anon:

Celestia, because he's just so alien and acts so differently to both mares and stallions;

Luna, because he just like sitting outside with a beer, watching the stars;

Cadence, because he doesn't find her attractive ("Why does it look like she drowned in cough-syrup?"), and has no interest in annoying mares;

Twilight, the spaghettimancer.

He just wants to work 9--5, crack open a cold one at the end of the day, then go to sleep.

Not manicures, and shit like that, like Mac and co has been trying to drag him off to.

>>29863831
>Candy Ass lurking in Anon's bathroom cabinet
>Watching him take a shower
>Celestia raiding his fridge for anything sugary, white ass poking out

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Hey, I got more Fleur

>>29864059
>After she left Anon in the studio, the rest of Fleur’s day went smoothly. She had gone to Hoity’s home personally to apologize for her absence. Hoity had, of course, dismissed her regret with a wave of the hoof, even offering to have both the mare and her manager for tea. She politely declined, wanting to stick to her schedule, and allowed Svengallop to drag her to her next appointment.

>She had a meeting with a group of business stallions to discuss the newest perfume that she was releasing in the spring. Then she had to make a public appearance at a noble’s speech. After that she had to go to the foal’s hospital on the east end to talk and play with the little ones. This was, as always, the highlight of her day, but as usual it had to be cut short so she could get to another appointment on time.

>Back and forth she ran around the city, talking and discussing and signing papers with a quick meal or two between. It was hectic, and for most ponies it would have knocked them off of their hooves by lunch time, but Fleur knew this dance well. Every meeting they arrived punctually, every event she dazzled everypony with her wit and beauty. It was just another day for the supermodel Fleur de Lis.

>Still though, by the end of the day even she was beginning to feel weariness creeping up on her. Today, it seemed, was one of her busier days, and no matter how well-versed one was in a life such as this, even the most hardened veteran’s hooves would grow heavy after marching up and down the city half a dozen times.

>So, gathering what was left of her poise and grace, she decided to end the day by politely rejecting Ms. Rarity’s invitation and instead going to Sapphire Shore’s dinner party.

>“Fleur, honey! How the hay are you?”

“Sapphire, [i]mon cher[/i].”

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>tfw no griffoness to aggressive rub your face into her chest fluff

>>29864071
>Both mares made their way over to each other. They shared a hug, then greeted each other with kisses to the cheek. It was a standard greeting, one that she must have done a hundred times today, but for some reason or another Fleur thought about what had happened with Anon a few hours prior.

>The thought brought a smile to her face and nearly had her giggling. He had turned such a delightful shade of red, one that matched perfectly with those blue eyes of his. His embarrassment and innocence at what he had done at first had also tickled her in ways that she hadn’t been tickled in a very long time.

>“So, how’s my favorite supermodel?” Sapphire asked, breaking the hug and holding Fleur at hooves length so she could get a good look at her.

“I’m doing very well, thank you for asking,” Fleur replied. “And yourself?”

>Sapphire opened her mouth to answer when something gave her pause. Gently frowning, she leaned forward with a furrowed brow, her eyes carefully scanning Fleur’s face.

>“Look at you filly; all smilin’ and whatnot,” she said, frown morphing into a grin. “It looks like somepony had a good day. What, did you find yourself some cute stallion?”

>Fleur quickly schooled her expression, giving Sapphire a nuzzle before taking a step away. Though the singer didn’t look it, she was one of the biggest gossips in the city, and while Fleur considered her a friend, she knew not to open herself up too much without the risk of half the city knowing by morning.

“Oh, it’s nothing like that, dear,” she said. “I’m just in a good mood after spending a few hours at the foal’s hospital. The little ones were very happy to see me.”

>“Are you sure?” the singer asked, a twinkle in her eye. “‘Cause a little birdy told me that you got yourself a new photographer. An [i]alien[/i] photographer.”

Fleur very nearly frowned. “Oh? And who told you such a thing?”

>>29864083>The smile on Sapphire’s face grew. “Oh, I was just sitting in a cafe and I heard a few ponies talking about it while I was enjoying my decaf. You know how it is,” she said, wrapping a hoof around the taller mare. “Now, why don’t I get you out in the garden and something in that stomach of yours?”

>Fleur’s stomach, the traitor it was, decided at that exact moment to let out a loud grumble. Both mares looked down, Sapphire letting out a giggle while Fleur let out a resigned sigh.

“[i]Oui[/i], some food would be nice,” she admitted.

>Sapphire let out a happy hum, a victorious glint in her eyes as she led Fleur into her mason, toward the back where the singer’s expansive garden sat.

>The usual ponies were in attendance. Sapphire paraded her around to each and every one. Greetings and small talk were exchanged. A pony or two spoke about a business enterprise that they were about to begin or a new fashion line.

>It was the same old uneventfulness that Fleur had come to know all of her life. She went through the motions, nodded her head or said something witty when she needed to, all the while trying her hardest not to yawn. Thankfully, Sapphire wasn’t a mare to dilly-dally, so all of that nonsense was finished within half an hour.

>It was then that Fleur was guided to a table full of food. Sapphire piled little edibles and cookies onto two plates along with a chilled bottle of wine and a pair of glasses. With that finished, she led Fleur to a secluded part of the gardens and sat her down so that the singer could extract all of the information she wanted.

>“So, I heard that this [i]hyoo-man[/i] took Photo Finish’s spot as your usual photographer,” she began, uncorking the wine and pouring a glass for the both of them.

>>29864059
>that pic
saved

>>29864095
>Fleur quickly snatched hers up and took a healthy gulp, quietly wishing that she had taken up Rarity’s offer. That mare might not have been able to pick a good caterer to save her life, but at least she wasn’t particularly nosy.

“[i]Oui[/i], Essence asked Photo to be a producer for this shoot,” Fleur said, leaning back into her chair so that she could get comfortable. She had a feeling that she was going to be here for a while. “Since she didn’t trust any of the usual photographers, she somehow managed to get her hooves on Anon.”

>“Anon…” Sapphire muttered, rolling the name around on her tongue. “Anon…”

>Her eyes narrowed, and Fleur could practically see the gears turning in the mare’s head. “That name’s a bit… funny, isn’t it?”

Fleur shrugged. “You and I have been all around this world. I’m sure we’re both heard stranger.”

>Sapphire let out a laugh.

>“Yeah, I think you’re right,” she said popping a cookie into her mouth. “Hey, Hoity and I are having a little get together at [i]Fantaisie cul restau[/i]. We wanted to know if you’d like to join us.”

Fleur smiled. “My schedule is going to be quite light for the next few days, so I’d be happy to go with the two of you.”

>Sapphire popped another cookie into her mouth, noisily chewing. “You should also see if you can get that [i]hyoo-man[/i] of yours to come along as well.”

>Fleur could feel the fur on the back of her neck stand on end. She knew where this was going.

“Human,” Fleur corrected. “And I don’t know if I should, [i]mon chere[/i]. I’ve only met Anon this morning and don’t want to come on as pushy.”

>“Oh, come on, it’s just lunch,” Sapphire said, waving a hoof dismissively. “I’m sure he’d appreciate the free food, especially the food where we’re going. And you know how stallions like to go to fancy restaurants.”

>>29864107
“Perhaps another time, Sapphire,” Fleur said, frowning. “When Anon has acquainted himself with Canterlot, or at least when I know the stallion a little better..”

>“He’s not gonna get acquainted with anything if ponies don’t take him around and show him the sights,” Sapphire retorted. “He’ll love it, we’ll love it, you’ll love it, everypony will win. And besides, you owe Hoity for standing him up.”

>Fleur bit her lip to keep an angry retort from escaping her mouth. She didn’t know why she was being so difficult. Of course Hoity and Sapphire wanted to meet Anon. Everypony that had heard about the humans wanted to meet one.

>They had nothing nefarious in mind. All they wanted was the fame and recognition that would most likely come along with being seen walking around with Anon, and to flaunt it in the faces of everypony else in the city. As a mare who had lived in Canterlot for the majority of her adult life, she understood this completely. Still though, she felt oddly protective of her photographer.

Blowing a bit of mane out of her face, she forced herself to nod. “[i]Bien[/i], I’ll ask him in the morning if you truly want to meet him.”

>Sapphire tried to hide her smile behind her wine glass, but it was so wide that Fleur could see the edges of it. The sight of it made her stomach twist.

>“Thank you very much,” the singer said. “I’ll make sure to tell Hoity.”


@-@-@-@-@-@-@


>When Fleur made her way into the studio, she found Anon sitting at his table tinkering with his computer. The sight of him tied her stomach into knots. She had spent a sleepless night thinking of all of the ways that asking him to lunch could go wrong.

>What if she seemed too pushy? Perhaps such a thing was a faux pas in human culture. He could be upset, or worse, insulted. Or maybe he’d think she was taking advantage of his uniqueness by parading him around the city like some new breed of dog.

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>>29864118
>He could blow up on her, or storm out of the studio. He could refuse to work with her and go back to his world having nothing but bad things to say about her and ponykind in general. Maybe he’d be so upset that he’d report to the leaders of his world about what had happened. She could start a war that would kill [i]millions[/i], all because she said one wrong thing.

>Fleur dryly swallowed, resisting a very foreign urge to spin around and leave the studio. She couldn’t turn around and run away with her tail between her legs! She was Fleur de Lis, supermodel extraordinaire! She had promised to ask him for Sapphire, and she was going to do just that!

>And besides, he could just say no and that’d be the end of it. Hopefully.

>Taking a deep breath, she marched toward her photographer with her head held high, still managing to look graceful despite the jerkiness in her step. When she was just a few feet from him she loudly cleared her throat.

“Good morning, [i]chère[/i]. I hope you slept well.”

>Perking up, Anon turned around. Seeing her, a small smile came to her face, the sight of which lessened the tension in her stomach somewhat.

>“How’s it going, ma’am?” he asked, his smile disappearing as his eyes scanned her face. “Hey… are you alright there? You kinda look… not that great.”

“You have a stallion's way with words, Anon,” she dryly replied. “And I’m fine, thank you for asking.”

>Anon rose from his stool. “Are you sure? You look like you didn’t get any sleep last night.”

“I’m fine,” Fleur insisted, taking a step toward him. “Yesterday I had the pleasure of going to the local foal’s hospital to play with the little ones, so I’m just a bit tired. But enough about [i]moi[/i], what about you? How’s my photographer this morning?”

>>29864124
>Anon stared her for a few more moments, clearly not believing her, before letting out a sigh. “Well, I was fiddling with your photos last night. Changed some stuff with the lighting, sharpened some stuff up.”

>Fleur perked up, looking past the human and at that wondrous computer of his.

“Really? Would it be alright if I saw them?” she asked.

>Anon nodding, patting the stool beside him before turning around and sitting down. Fleur let out a excited hum, her anxiety forgotten for the moment, and trotted over to the stool. Hopping up into it, she leaned toward the computer, her tail swishing side-to-side. Anon, giving her a smile, quickly pulled up her photos.

>“You see how I dampened the colors in this one?” Anon asked, pointing out a picture. “I noticed that you were wearing a lot of bright-colored dresses yesterday, so I thought it’d be a good idea to do that to give ‘em a bit more focus.”

“Oh… Look at that,” Fleur breathed, scrolling through the rows of pictures. “I’ve never seen pictures like this…”

>“There’s a lot of neat stuff you can do to a picture when you have photoshop,” Anon said. “I can change colors, put things in a picture, I can take ‘em out, anything you can think of.”

“[i]Incroyable[/i]… and could you make me look different if you wanted to?”

>“I could, but I really don’t like to do that.”

“Why?”

>Gently pushing Fleur’s hoof away, Anon minimized the photo album and clicked on one of the icons on the screen. It took a few moments, but it eventually loaded up an entirely new program.

>“It’s really hard to make someone look good by photoshopping them,” he said, loading up a picture. “If you do one little thing wrong you can make the person look unnatural.”

>>29864134
>He showed her this by making her head in the picture three sizes too big, then three sizes too small. He then changed her fur color from white to pink, and even put a pair of small, cartoonish wings on her back.

Fleur giggled at the sight of her transformed self. “Oh, I look [i]ridicule[/i],” she said, looking up at Anon. “May I try?”

>“Go ahead, knock yourself out,” Anon replied. “But you see how easy it is to mess someone up. That’s why I like not to mess with the people in the picture unless I have to, since I’m not one of the people that’s specially trained to do that sort of thing.”

“Hmm,” Fleur grunted, only half listening, her focus on the screen in front of her.

>While her hooves didn’t come close to the dexterity of her photographer’s fingers, she nevertheless was able to replicate what he had done. With a few clicks, she managed to change the color of her fur back to its original white. She then put another set of wings on her back, and enlarged her horn to three times its size. The supermodel let out a giggle, and was about to turn her mane into a plethora of colors, when she stopped herself.

Clearing her throat, she looked up at the human. “Anon, [i]mon chere[/i]?”

>“Yeah?” Anon asked, his eyes glued to the computer screen.

>Fleur licked her lips, steeling herself for any possible backlash. Not that she was expecting any of course, she was being silly worrying about this like she was, but there was still that possibility. That terrible, world-destroying possibility.

“I was wondering if you would like to come with me and a few of my… associates to lunch,” she asked, taking a sudden interest in the table as she pawed at her mane with a hoof.

>>29864142
>She tensed when she saw him turning around to look at her, shrinking into her stool. “N-Now, if you have other engagements I won’t pressure you! I’d [i]never[[/i] do that! I was just asked to see if you might want to come out and have a nice meal with us.”

>Her eyes snapped up to his for half a second before she quickly looked back down.

“But, if you had something to do, there’s nothing wrong with refusing. In fact, I’m sorry for asking you like—”

>“Easy there, sister,” Anon interrupted, placing a hand on her shoulder. “I’m not going to bite your head off.”

A nervous laugh escaped Fleur’s lips. “I’m sorry, Anon. I’m sorry,” she said, placing a hoof over his hand and forcing herself to look up at him. “I don’t know why I’m being so… finicky.”

>“It’s probably because you look like you got an hour’s worth of sleep max,” Anon replied, leaning forward to get a better look at her. “Is lunch really that big of a deal around here?”

Fleur cringed. “[i]Non[/i]. In Canterlot things like this are very common.”

>“It’s pretty common where I come from too,” Anon told her. “People go out to eat with each other all the time.”

>Fleur looked away from the human, feeling both embarrassed and silly. Of course he wouldn’t be offended by her asking him to come to lunch! Why on earth would she think something silly like that, much less worry over it like she had been doing?

>Seeing the unicorn sink down in the chair, Anon gave her shoulder a squeeze. “Hey, it isn’t that big of a deal. “I’d be more than happy to go out to some little diner with you and get some grub.”

Fleur perked up, her eyes snapping back up to look at him. “[i]Vraiment[/i]?”

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>>29864152>“I have no idea what you just said but sure,” Anon replied. “Other than looking over the pictures I take today I’m not really doing anything interesting. I could use an excuse to get out and walk around the city for a little bit.”

>The fear and anxiety that had been turning Fleur’s stomach since last night disappeared in the blink of an eye. The unicorn released the breath that she hadn’t known she was holding, a smile coming to her face.

“Then I will be sure to tell my associates that you’ll be coming with me to lunch,” she said with a nod, feeling her usual confidence swelling inside of her once again.

>Anon nodded with a smile, before looking down at her in suspicion. “Just don’t be tryin’ any of that kissing shit this time,” he warned.

Fleur’s smile widened. “Oh, I think I’ll be the one that needs to watch herself around you, my [i] Brisé de coeur [/i],” she said, giving his stomach a poke. “We wouldn’t want you stealing mare’s hearts now, would we?”

>Anon rolled his eyes, lifting his hand from her shoulder.

>“Yeah, you laugh it up, funny lady,” he said. “Now why don’t you go be funny in the dressing room while I get ready? Photo’s going to be over here any second wondering why the heck we haven’t started shooting yet.”

“Oh course. I’ll be right back, [i]mon chere[/i],” Fleur said, making a kissy face at him as she hopped out of her stool and trotted toward the dressing room.

>Anon watched her leave, annoyance and amusement on his face as he changed his camera’s lens. He had just about clipped a new lens on when a look of realization came to his face.

>>29864164
>“…Hang on. We’re just going to some mom and pop place, right? It’s not going to be anything fancy or anything, right?”


@-@-@-@-@-@-@


>[i]Fantaisie cul restau[/i] was one of the newer restaurants in the northern district of the city. Built by the world-famous chef Ram-see, it was boasted as having some of the finest decor, the best chefs, and the best food in all of Canterlot, which already boasted the best food in Equus. It was also one of the most exclusive places to book a table.

>For most ponies, they would have had to wait for months before they could find seats in the place. Luckily for Fleur and her party, two of which had helped supply the funds for Ram-see to build his restaurant, it was only a matter of speaking to the chef himself and they were able to acquire a table.

>This wasn’t the first time that Fleur had been in this restaurant. Sapphire and Hoity had taken her here a number of times, as had her manager and even a fellow model or two. She had been here so many times that she hadn’t even felt the need to dress up. Sapphire and Hoity, just as desensitized of the glamor and exclusivity, had come just as causally. The same couldn’t be said for Anon however.

>The young man seemed ill at ease in such finery and opulence. He sat in his far too small chair with his knees pressed against his stomach and his hands in his lap. Fleur could see in his eyes that he was nervous, that he didn’t want to touch anything for fear that he might break something incredibly expensive.

>Sapphire and Hoity had, of course, failed to notice their guest’s unease, so the unicorn had taken it upon herself to ease her photographer’s obvious anxiety. She sat as close to him as the table would allow, a hoof on his leg.

“There’s no need to be nervous, [i]mon amie[/i],” she assured. “It’s just lunch.”

>>29864169
>“It’s just lunch to [i]you[/i],” Anon murmured, leaning over toward her so that he didn’t disturb Sapphire or Hoity, who were busy chatting about this and that. “This is the nicest restaurant that I’ve ever been in.”

“You’ll be fine.”

>“Why are there so many forks and spoons? Why the hell is there a bowl of water in the middle of the table?” Anon’s eyes narrowed as he carefully picked up a spoon and looked at her. “What does this spoon do and why is it so big?”

“That’s a salad spoon.”

>“A salad spoon? Why do ya need a spoon for a salad? What, are ya gonna use it to scoop up the croutons?”

Fleur bit back a giggle. “You use it for chopped salads.”

>“And that spoon?”

“It’s for sugar.”

>“What about that knife?”

“It’s a dinner knife.”

>Anon covered his face with a hand, looking exasperated. “This rich people stuff is nonsense,” he said. “I don’t know how you do it.”

A giggle escaped Fleur, despite her best efforts. “One learns to live with it, [i]mon chere[/i],” she said, leaning over and nuzzling his side. “And thanks again for coming. I’m sure that Sapphire and Hoity are just as grateful as I am.”

>Sapphire perked up at the mention of her name. She turned away from Hoity and looked over at Anon, a smile that Fleur didn’t care for coming to her face.

>“Anon, babe, Hoity and I just want to thank you for coming to this little lunch party of ours.”

>Hoity turned to face Anon as well. “Yes, it’s very nice to finally see a human after hearing so much about them from the princesses,” he said, quaffing his mane with a hoof.

>Anon’s eyes snapped up to the two ponies. He did his best to smile but couldn’t quite manage it. Looking down at his lap, Fleur could see him opening and closing his hands.

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>>29864177
>“It’s very nice to meet yinz—” Eyes widening in alarm, Anon coughed into a hand. “—[i]you[/i]. It’s very nice to meet you. Both of you I mean.”

>If the two ponies noticed the slip-up they didn’t comment on it. Instead they leaned forward in their seats, their expressions turning predatory.

>“So how do ya like our fair little city?” Sapphire asked, resting her hooves on the table.

>“It’s very nice, ma’am,” Anon replied, resting his arms on the table, only to set them back in his lap a moment later. “It’s real nice. Real pretty.”

>Both Hoity and Sapphire chuckled, as if what Anon had said was the funniest thing in the world. Fleur found her stomach tightening at the sound, causing her to reach over and grab Anon’s hand with her hoof. Her photographer looked at her out of the corner of his eye but said nothing, giving her hoof a squeeze.

>“So how has your photo shoot been going, my dear boy?” Hoity asked. “From what I’ve heard you’ve been doing some very spectacular work.”

>“It’s been good. Photo Finish has been helping me a lot, and so has Fleur.”

“Anon here is a very gifted photographer,” Fleur said, giving his hand a squeeze of her own. “This is his first time in this line of work and he’s doing better than some of the veterans that I’ve worked with.”

>Anon gave her a grateful smile. She returned it with a wink.

>“Oh really?” Hoity said, an eyebrow raised at the little display. “And what kind of work were you doing before this, Anon? If I may be so bold as to ask?”

>“I was a photographer for a newspaper,” Anon said, looking just a bit less tense. “I usually went around with a reporter and took some pictures of this or that.”

>“That sounds real interesin’, hon,” Sapphire commented.

>Anon shrugged. “It was alright. Most of the time we did a lot of driving around. Not all that exciting if you ask me.”

>>29864197
>Hoity and Sapphire nodded, making interested noises as they continued to look him up and down. Fleur knew for a fact that neither cared what Anon was saying, they might not have been listening to a single word that he said. All they were concerned about were the mares and stallions eyeing their table and whispering amongst themselves.

>She was certain that the whole town would be gossiping about this tomorrow, if not the nobles and the other well-to-do’s of the city than the newspapers. By the time that Celestia’s sun rose tomorrow, Anon would be the only thing ponies talked about.

>The thought made her stomach sink.

>“And why did you decide to leave the [i]hyoo-man[/i] world to come all the way over here?” Hoity asked, flashing a stallion—who happened to be pulling out a camera—a winning smile.

>“Well, they were looking for people on the other side to come over here, and I heard that Photo Finish was going to pay well, so I decided to come on over to see this brand-new world,” Anon replied with a smile.

>Out of the corner of her eye, Fleur could see a group of mares making their way toward them with their food and drinks in hoof.

>Taking a deep breath, she released Anon’s hand, quietly hoping that Hoity and Sapphire would pause their integration so they could all eat.

“It looks like our food is about to arrive,” she said, grabbing her napkin and unfolding it.

>Sapphire and Hoity, not looking away from Anon, did the same. The tip of Fleur’s horn glowed, and with a spell she unfolded her photographer’s napkin and sat it in his lap.

>“I might not come to many fancy places like this but I know how to use a napkin, thank you very much,” he said, leaning over and whispering into her ear. “But thank you.”

“You’re very welcome.”

>>29864207
>“Good afternoon everypony. My name is Blank Check and I’ll be your waiter this afternoon,” a cherry red mare said, setting wine glasses in front of them all as another waiter sat plates of fish in front of this. “We have something special for you all today. A very fine cut of Spindler fish on top of a bed of lettuce and topped with a vinegar dressing. The wine is a ten-year-old [i]Bon vin d'âne[/i] that’s been chilled overnight using the ice found atop the peaks of a few of the larger mountains on the Unicorn Range. I hope that you’ll all enjoy.”

>“Thank you very much,” Anon said politely, before once more leaning over to Fleur. “Why didn’t they let us order before bringing this stuff out?”

“This isn’t that kind of restaurant,” she replied, picking up a knife and a fork.

>“Not that kind of restaurant? What kind of jagoff place doesn’t let their customers order their food?”

“The very finest ones. And that’s not the fork you use, nor is that the right knife.”

>“...Which ones do I use then?”

“That one. No, the one below that. Yes, but not that knife either. The one above that.”

>“This is [i]stupid[/i].”

Fleur smiled, giving Anon a pat on the leg. “You aren’t wrong.”

>Anon explosively exhaled through his nose, looking down at the food sat before him, biting his lip.

>The waiters left their table after pouring each of them a glass of wine. With them gone Fleur, Hoity, and Sapphire began to dig into their meals.

>“Oh my goodness. It looks like the chefs have outdone themselves yet again,” Hoity said, wiping his muzzle with his other napkin. “This is [i]delectable[/i]. The vinegar really brings out the natural flavors of the fish.”

>“The wine’s not half bad either,” Sapphire said. “I usually like my wine to be a bit older but this isn’t half bad. What about you Fleur?”

>>29864215
“[i]Oui[/i]. It’s delicious,” Fleur said, dabbing her mouth with her napkin before taking a small sip of her wine. “The lettuce is—”

>A sound unlike any that Fleur had ever heard filled the air, making her pause. All around their table, ponies lifted their heads from their meals and looked around for the source. Their heads slowly turned to Anon’s direction.

>The young man had a bottle of some kind of red substance in his hands. He was pouring this substance onto his chicken, humming a little tune to himself. Seconds passed before Anon noticed the silence that had swept the restaurant. He lifted his gaze from his plate, confusion coloring his features.

>“…What?” he asked no one in particular. “I saw that there wasn’t any ketchup on the table.”

>There was a pause. Ponies looked at each other, some of them murmuring in confusion and just a hint of concern.

>Hoity awkwardly cleaned his throat. “My dear boy… Why did you bring your own condiment?”

>Anon looked down at the bottle in his hand. “I always bring a spare bottle of ketchup with me when I go out to eat,” he replied matter-of-factly.

>Fleur’s gaze snapped from Anon’s face back down to his plate. He was still squeezing out his ketchup. There was so much on the plate that she couldn’t even see the fish. The unicorn’s mouth twitched at the sight, her lips curling into a smile.

>Several more seconds passed before Anon stopped the flow of ketchup and spun the bottle around, offering it to the other ponies at the table.

>“Do yin—I mean, do you guys want some? There should just be enough for the four of us.” He shook the bottle at Hoity and Sapphire’s flabbergasted faces. “Come on, don’t be shy. I got plenty back at my place.”

>>29864224
>A feeling began to form in Fleur’s stomach. At first it was hardly noticeable, but as time passed it began to build and build. She soon found herself shaking as she tried to hold back this feeling, but eventually she couldn’t help herself.

>Throwing her head back, Fleur started laughing. Hard.

>>29864240
Alright, I'm done

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>>29863647
>pones don't understand that even the flimsiest of pretexts will work
honestly it would just be nice for someone to want me around for some reason besides the work I can do or the stuff I have

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>So let's just say you're an average mare, living a life of an average mare.
>For some mares getting stallions to like them can be quite a challenge.
>Luckily there's a thing called juststallionthings on the internet and it tells us exactly what stallions like.
>Now it's scientifically proven that if we follow their instructions they will be obliged to give us a chance.
>And I'm gonna show you that today.
>Stallions, we're just about any colty thing that a colt may want.

Moondancer is the Filthy Frank of the RGRE universe, yes or no ?

>>29864475
That NMM is a cute

>>29864107
>I’m sure we’re both heard stranger.”
*we've both heard stranger.

>>29864224
Ketchup. Made from tomatoes.
Kek.

>>29864252
Anon accidently kills them all with tomatoes.

>>29864252
>A very fine cut of Spindler fish on top of a bed of lettuce and topped with a vinegar dressing.
>He was pouring this substance onto his chicken,

Wait what?
Also, what kind of asshole sticks condiments on food without trying it first.

>>29864757
It seems you are not quite familiar with the character of anon

>>29864802
Apparently Anon's character is not familiar with basic manners either, since that's basically like flipping the chef off and saying I can do better without giving them a chance.

>>29864576
yes

>>29864745
I don't think they know that tomatoes are in it, or even what ketchup is. Its more like >>29864826
said

>>29864252
i dont get what he keeps cutting himself off for when he keeps accidentally trying to say something that starts with yinz

what the hell starts with yinz

>>29864870

Nothing. Just google it. It means (You), similar to "y'all".

>>29864957
who the hell says yinz

>>29864984
some writers have a tin ear and can't write accents for shit. LaP might be one of them.

>>29864957
yinz
yinz/
pronounUSdialect
(in western Pennsylvania) you (used to refer to more than one person).
"how yinz guys doing?"

>>29864999 (checked)
can you provide me with a link to some kind of audio or video with this accent? I can honestly say I've never heard one like this.

>>29865011
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wO_tMLAUNhE

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>>29865018
thanks anon, that was surprisingly helpful.

>>29864807

>leave RGRE for a place full of fucking furfags

But they're already in a place full of furfags.

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>>29864576
Lord Shim-Shim is coming to harvest our Chromosomes !

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>>29864576
>"I live in a constant state of fear and misery
>"Do you miss me anymore?
>"Nyyeee yeee yeee
>"And I don't even notice when it hurts anymore
>"Anymore
>"Anymore

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>>29865115
There's some truth to that statement.

>>29865366
If ponies sing whenever they are experiencing extreme emotion, how would they react to anon singing this?

So how about that discord, huh?

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>>29865546
dont you fucking bring it up god dammit this is a good thread so far.

>>29865546
So how about that troll bait, huh?

>>29865575
>>29865639
don't worry guys, just remember that every single post about the discord that doesn't praise it unconditionally is all by the same, single person. same goes for anyone posting anything you or I disagree with, or holding opinions different than ours.

>>29865966
Why would you waste perfectly good dubs for this post

Why

>>29863293

>Anon hated being in high school the first time, and despite being optimistic for this new opportunity feels like Canterlot High won't be much better
>Teenagers are still teenagers, even with reversed gender roles
>Just focuses on schoolwork and ignores other people
>After school, he heads right back to his apartment
>Gets a reputation as something of an ice king due to how he acts
>Is never really impolite to people, but very obviously would rather be left alone
>the fact that he seemingly showed up out of nowhere like Sunset Shimmer, gives him that 'mysterious' factor to the girls of Canterlot High
>It becomes a race to see who can get into the mysteriously hot transfer student's pants first

>>29865511
It would be a national crisis

>>29866081
neat

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>>29866081
but Anons already been through this once before. He knows what to look for and how the girls minds work.

next. level. trolling.

>>29863293
>>29866081
I honestky feel like his is a good idea.
RGR Equestria Girls seems like it could be fun and it has the added benefit of Sunset Shimmer.
Sunset needs some love in these threads too.

>>29866800
fuck! he's got dubs now we have to.

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>>29866846
I want Sunset to corner Anon in the mens bathroom and force him to cuddle her.

>>29866955
>"You're gonna rub my belly, and you're gonna like it, Anon!"

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>>29866962
id rather rub something else if you know what i mean

>>29866955
>>29866962
>>29866999

All Anon has to do (if he's a faggot and doesn't want them sun buns) is scream rape and Sunset goes off to prison.

She's not the one in control of the situation. He is.

>>29866955
>>29866962
Anyone else remember the consensual rape of Anon at camp everfree? The happy family ending with Anon, Trixie, and Sunset was cute as shit.

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>A certain racistpone calls Anon a stupid immigrant monkey
>He calls her a bitch
>This word is extremely offensive towards diamond dogs
>Hfw she realizes the apelien is a pony supremacist as well
>Maybe apeliens can be honorary ponies in the upcoming racially pure society?

>>29867031
Ye but if you do that you a bitch

>>29867031
>no hooves
somebody's gonna be the prison's bitch~

>>29867213

I know that.

I'm just saying that in the context of RGREqG, that's what Anon could do if he wanted to be a huge asshole about it.

Heck, he only needs to threaten Sunset with that and get mildly incriminating evidence to back it up for blackmail. Then she's whipped forever.

>>29867348
If anon wanted to be an asshole that would be THE way to be an asshole. It's doubly cutting because Sunset used to blackmail and bully people before she reformed so she would take it as being karma for what she did

>>29867389

>Sunset thought she was the rapist, but instead she was the one who ended up getting taken advantage of instead.
>20 years of basically being Anon's slave and 5 kids she never wanted later, Sunset wonders if prison would have been preferable to this life.

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>>29867460
Fuck that shit
I didn't ask for these feels

>>29867460
Instead of unwanted rape babies...

>>29866955

>She wanted to do cutesy stuff
>He was happy to oblige
>Anon insists on hand holding
>In public

>>29867500
>>29867515

No fun allowed
Only despair

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Hey I'm going out for a bit.

Can you guys keep my semi-lewd safe while I'm gone?

I'll just set it down here.

>>29867660
She got a retard face senpai

>>29867660
I've seen that pic quite a few times on here Never gets old

>>29867111
link

>>29867515
>Anon blackmails her into acting like a good girlfriend
>Sit next to him, talk nice to him, act sweet, grab his hand in the hall
>Tough-girl shtick grates against the "new rules"
>Anon starts to do it at first just to be an asshole
>Starts getting concerned when she slips up
>Even makes her act like that in private
>Anon takes this opportunity to straighten things out in this school
>Uses her influence to deal with the other bullies
>All of the male staff like Anon because he's got queen bitch under his thumb
>None of the female teachers have the nerve to refuse Anon what he wants
>Sunny don't let no shit slide from anyone else because of her repressed anger toward Anon
>Anon picks up quick on new fantasy threats because he's genre-savvy
>They become the Matriarch and Patriarch of the school

>>29864252
LaP, can you help us?

>>29865510
>>29865510

if you had told me five years ago i'd be awake in the wee hours of the morning bumping pony threads on a mongolian basket-weaving forum, i'd have laughed.

now i just drink more.

>>29868242
do what?

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>>29865366
>>29864576
>>29865143
I have a weird feeling that Celestia would be a big fan. Spouting memes like a 60-something trying to connect with the youths at a meeting.

>Discord, it's time to stop !

>>29868159

>Anon's luck runs out when the mirror opens again, allowing Sunset to begin her plans by stealing the Element of Magic
>hides it in a place he won't know to look for
>Twiligt shows up at Canterlot High, and is somewhat confused at why people are afraid of Anon
>She expects them to be afraid of Sunset Shimmer given what she just learned about her from Celestia
>But why would they be afraid of her friend Anon, who she accidentally sent here?
>Still they catch up and students watch them in stunned awe
>Anon of course leaves out the Sunset thing, and only mentions that they're dating
>Is surprised to learn that Sunset is actually a unicorn in human form and it an actual human
>Things come to ahead at the Fall Formal when Twilight wins back the crown
>Sunset gets it by threatening Spike
>Anon tries to blackmail her into giving it back but...
>"No. The time for YOU to give me orders is over."
>turns into her she-demon form with the crown and goes into a long rant about all the humiliating things Anon made her do
>"But it doesn't matter anymore. Tell everyone here what I did. Scream it from the rooftops! With the power I have now anybody who tries to cross me again is DEAD!"
>attempts to blast Anon to death with magic, but Twilight and the Humane 5 jump in the way
>Magic Ex Machina allows them to beat Sunset Shimmer
>Before Twilight can even get a word in, Anon loudly reveals the info he's been using to blackmail Sunset all this time
>That she attempted to struggle-snuggle him
>Redemption is hard enough when you turn into a she-demon, it's even harder when you're a sex offender
>The only reason Sunset isn't in prison at that point is because Twilight begs them not to
>Asks Anon why the fuck would he basically torture someone like that
"Twilight, if you think I'm bad, you should have seen this school when I first got here. Sunset ruled over everyone with bullying and blackmail. Nobody aside from me was willing to deal with her or the other bullies."

>>29868753

"So when Sunset unknowingly presented an opportunity for me to put a leash on her, I took it. Since then, bullying has gone down and general harmony in the school is up. Everything I did to her is exactly what she's done to the students here."
>Twilight learns why humans, real humans, not the horse-humans of EqG are terrifying

>>29864757
Never mind that... what kinda weirdo brings a bottle of ketchup to a restaurant? Ffs what place doesn't have ketchup on hand?

>>29868806
well, tomatoes are toxic to equines, so...

>>29868806

>what place doesn't have ketchup on hand?

Good restaurants. Not every restaurant is like Dennys or Waffle House. Most really nice places (proper silverwear sets, dress codes, reservation only, etc.) won't even have ketchup in the building.

>>29869142
In fancy restaurant you always have to bring your own keptchup, that's what makes those McDonald's one serve size keptchup so convinient

>>29869142
>Good restaurants.
If it was a good restaurant then I wouldn't need to bring my own ketchup.

>>29867660
Still needs a few special white drops somewhere, anyone know someone to help with that?
>>29868043
Sorry bro, it was a one shot a long ass time ago, I cant even remember if their was a actual writefag that did it, or if there was even a pastebin link.

>>29868242
...why? That has nothing to do with us.

>>29868771
That could be fun, would she be scarearoused?

>>29868753
My god the spelling errors
>>29868771
but a good idea if its combined well.

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>>29867660
who let the gender studies major in here?

>>29869528
>My god the spelling errors

That's what happens when you decide to write a prompt at 4 in the morning

>>29869955
Fair enough mister dub dubs.

>>29869510

Depends on whether or not Twilight is into coltdom.

>>29870146
Could also just be a blackmail fetish.

>>29870206

Can blackmail itself be a fetish? I always considered it an extension of something like humiliation.

>>29870480
Hmm, I suppose that would make sense. I guess it could be argued depending on how it is use in a story.

>>29870493

Either way the idea of an evil(ish) Anon in RGREqG is something we haven't quite had before.

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>>29871146
I wouldn't say he would be THAT evil, so much as balancer of the problems. Pic related would also work too technically.

Writerfag here, i'm watching S7.

If i came back, here will be more herds.

>>29871550
Aside from your appalling sentence, neat.

>>29871536

I feel like Lawful Evil works to describe Anon in the prompt.

Blackmail and extortion are still kinda shitty, even if the victim deserves it because she's done the same to others.

So I guess it would be more End Justifies The Means?

>>29864224
>>Anon looked down at the bottle in his hand. “I always bring a spare bottle of ketchup with me when I go out to eat,” he replied matter-of-factly.
This green just turned from "why the fuck" tier to "it's shit" tier, that's just fucking stupid and not funny, I don't know what are you trying to do here.

>>29872180
At that point it could just be considered lawful neutral.

>>29872293

Either way, Sunset's reputation is pretty much dead once everyone knows she tried to force herself on a boy, even if Anon was mostly in control of the situation. I don't think anyone would forgive her as quickly as they did in the movies.

>>29871550
Cool. Welcome back, faggot.

>>29872285
i think it might have been an attempt at a joke, or trying to humorously overplay some nor'east stereotype, but it just comes off wrong.

i don't know where you savages were raised, but bringing a bottle of anything, especially a condiment, is trashy. bringing a condiment to a restaurant is worse. where did he carry it, his purse?

>>29873495
I dunno, I've brought condiments to restaurants before. Granted they weren't as high class as the one described in the story, but I have done it before.

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So how did you fags like the new horse episodes?

They were 10/10

Also CELESTIA HAD A SHITLOAD OF SCREENTIME.

>>29874278
Think S7E1 was an 8.5/10 for me. Loved that purple autism was back at showing her autism and that Celly was poking fun at her, as well as Spike being a snarky shit again.

S7E2 was also fun. Liked Trixie being a smug fuck, calling out the song thing. And we learned that Dash was a racist concerning Griffins.

The two eps had everything I wanted, cute pones doing cute things. Granted, these were not anywhere close to "Best Eps" but they were fun, cute and what I wanted after a hiatus.

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>>29874278
i don't know how to feel about this.

on one hand, she's getting the screentime she deserves.

on the other, the show's canon might destroy my image of her.

>>29874438
I know that tiny pic destroyed my image of you.

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>the princesses actually can't stand the look of thorax
>they tolerate him since he's still a stallion

>>29874626

Poor Thorax.

>>29874846
more like poor bugqueen, losing her children and watching them become hideous abominations.

>>29872180
>>29872293
>>29873308
>Suset feels actual regret for what she's done
>Tries to be good and make amends but can't because everyone knows she's a struggle snuggler
>Sunset begs Anon for help
>Anon decides to help thisisexploitable.jpg
>She starts dating Anon again
>With his help other people slowly start to forgive her
>Then one day Anon leans over her and whispers in her ear
>All I'd have to do is say one word and you'll go right back to being a social outcast
And we're right back to blackmail.
Forgetting the whole scale of evil thing, maybe Anon is just a dick.

>>29873495
Fuck you man i love doing this.
They sell small bottles i keep in my pocket all day.
Granted i usually have hot sauce but i bring ketchup as well.
Because?
Because sometimes you need to spice up a meal ok?
Im not autistic!

>>29875140
good until the last two lines. in the previous anons' entries, he was a dick to her because it was power to which she would submit, and anon used it to change her for the better. because of his relationship with her, it was really the only method of enforcement he could use to correct her behavior, and eventually make her a better person.

your post is just anon reveling in his power over her, which is indeed being a dick. i imagine the point you enjoy most is when, after gaining sunny's trust, he pulls the rug out from under her and lets her know that she can never trust anyone again.

>>29869340
Anon didn't even try the fish before he drowned the thing in ketchup.
If it was shitty fish that would be one thing, but to not even try it first would be like putting ketchup on a steak.

>>29875242
i got some bad news for you anon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zq7Eki5EZ8o

>>29875458
you'd think someone from the northeast would at least give it a taste, but perhaps he's one of those people who think fish from anywhere but his hometown/homestate is garbage.

>>29875513
Anon was previously one of the cast of Jersey Shore.

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>>29875458
I think we've just discovered the perfect test to find out of someone is a plushie fucking mcnugee eating autist who is mentally 12. Bringing a bottle of ketchup to the fanciest restaurant in an alien race's capital city after being invited by your alien supermodel coworker to meet her celebrity friends, then dumping that shit all over your meal (who the fuck even puts ketchup on fish, aside from tasteless tilapia fishsticks or something) before even tasting it is pretty much the second most autistic thing ever.

The only more autistic is how much I'm letting it bother me. I just woke up after reading that shit before I went.to bed and no shit it was the first thing to cross my mind. Now I'm laying in bed 2 minutes after waking up as my bladder screams for mercy angrily shitposting about catchup and on the cartoon horse beastiality section of a Canadian pet rock forum.

Fuck you guys.

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>>29875051
>Bugqueen goes into hiding to plot revenge against Starlight and Thorax
>Stumbles upon Anon's camp in the middle of the Everfree
>Anon, happy to have a creature not trying to eat him or turn him to stone after so long accepts Chrysalis as a friend immediately despite her clearly evil looks
>Sympathizes with her losing her children and kingdom to a usurper
>Chryssy feeds on Anon's sympathy, friendship, and love to become stronger
>After years together Anon's shitty camp grew into a cabin, and into the inconspicuous entrance of the new underground hive
>Sons and daughters who have never known a loveless night each nearly as strong as Chrysalis was when she infiltrated Canterlot.
>They know of the traitor Thorax who ousted Queen Mom from her home
>King Anonymous knows of how he stole her children from her
>Finally they are ready to put the plan into place


>You are Macintosh Apple
>And some strange lost lookin critter just stumbled out of the Everfree...

>>29875513
>you'd think someone from the northeast would at least give it a taste
I was born in NYC and I can't even fathom what this idiot is doing. I'd assume he's lower-middle class at LEAST, if his career of choice is photographer, so he should have a rudimentary idea of how to be fancy. I've been to steakhouses where you'd be beaten half to death for ordering above medium, much less even LOOKING at a nottle of ketchup, just to give you perspective on how we take our higher-quality foods.
From a writer's standpoint, LaP probably only wrote this to give contrast between the poor and crass human in comparison to the rich and poised ponies, and lead in to the cliché where the poor boy eventually gets the rich girl to lighten up, and I'm not entirely sure I approve. It isn't using cliché that's my problem, it's going about it in a way that's a bit of a stretch. It isn't unbelievable, but I feel it's pushing it. Also just FUCK putting ketchup on everything, Jesus, save it for the burgers.

>>29875392
>>29875140

Yeah I think Anon doing that is just a huge dick move.

Previously the blackmail was so that the school could be made better by controlling Sunset from the shadows.

Now it's just kicking her when she's down.

Anon has nothing to gain or lose by manipulating her again.

>tfw I just realized this idea has devolved into Anon being the RGREqG equivalent of a high school Queen Bee

>>29875714
Even the worst fish deserves better than being drowned in ketchup. Nothing against ketchup but fish has plenty of better condiments to apply to it.

If the fish is overcooked apply additional lemon or white sauce depending on the type of dish.

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>>29875719
sheeiiiiit

>>29876375
>>29875946
>>29875458
>>29873495

I fixed it:

Fleur smiled, giving Sam a pat on the leg. “You aren’t wrong.”

Sam explosively exhaled through his nose, looking down at the food sat before him, biting his lip.

The waiters left their table after pouring each of them a glass of wine. With them gone Fleur, Hoity, and Sapphire began to dig into their meals. Sam looked at each pony for a moment before cutting a small piece of fish and popping it into his mouth.

“Oh my goodness. It looks like the chefs have outdone themselves yet again,” Hoity said, wiping his muzzle with his other napkin. “This is [i]delectable[/i]. The vinegar really brings out the natural flavors of the fish.”

“The wine’s not half bad either,” Sapphire said. “I usually like my wine to be a bit older but this isn’t half bad. What about you Fleur?”

“[i]Oui[/i]. It’s delicious,” Fleur said, dabbing her mouth with her napkin before taking a small sip of her wine. “The lettuce is—”

A sound unlike any that Fleur had ever heard filled the air, making her pause. All around their table, ponies lifted their heads from their meals and looked around for the source. Their heads slowly turned to Sam’s direction.

The young man had a bottle of some kind of red substance in his hands. He was pouring this substance onto his fish, humming a little tune to himself. Seconds passed before Sam noticed the silence that had swept the restaurant. He lifted his gaze from his plate, confusion coloring his features.

“…What?” he asked no one in particular. “The fish tastes a little dry.”

There was a pause. Ponies looked at each other, some of them murmuring in confusion and just a hint of concern.

Hoity awkwardly cleaned his throat. “My dear boy… Why did you bring your own condiment?”

Sam looked down at the bottle in his hand. “I always bring a spare bottle of ketchup with me when I go out to eat,” he replied matter-of-factly.

>>29876411
I didn't change the name because I couldn't be asked to. Still, hope this fixes things up

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>>29875719
>After many a sleepless night pondering, Chrysalis reluctantly decides risking her new family unnecessarily with a new invasion is not worth it.
>She doesn't like it, but as the matriarch, making hard decisions comes with the job.
>Even with an endless well of love in the form or her husband and her new hive all as powerful as alicorns, the broken bodies of her old children and the following silence of the telepathic web still haunts her.
>And when she closes her eyes, all the changeling queen sees is a field of dead, silent as the grave and reeking of blood.
>But now, the glassy eyes of her bipedal love, her savior, stare back at her too.
>No. She will NOT bury more of her family killed by a mistake of hers.
>Besides, there are other ways to get back at Equestria...
>She and hers will just have to play the economy game.
>Maybe an oasis town with some brothels or some questionable medical research...
>That would be a good start, says her husband.

>>29876424
It's dead, Jim.
The whole story is unredeemable now.
I just can't read about such a lowbrow autist without cringing.

>>29876424
It really does.
Carrying ketchup around is weird as hell, but I'll just attribute that to yankees being weird.

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>>29876457
Yes, I like.

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>>29875719
>>29876457
Lads, I'm sensing a pattern

>>29876531
That cheeselegs is best ruler?

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more tongue

>>29876625
I think that NMM is choking on her own tongue.

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>>29876625
I shouldn't feed your autism.

but I do have this.

>>29876680
Huh there's a hole I haven't considered fucking before. I like this idea and will commence a hunt for pics of things penetrating that tonguehole.

>>29876484
For a few years I carried a bottle of Kikkoman with me, but that was only for use at work in the event I got grocery store sushi for lunch since the little provided packets of soy sauce suck dick. I would never have pulled that shit out in a restaurant though(or even had it with me, it was part of my work gear bag).

>>29876424
LaP you've unintentionally stumbled across RGRE's trigger. It's not discord, femdom, EqG, nohooves, or even fetishes.

Food crimes. RGRE hates food crimes most of all.

>>29876411
>>29877473
>>29876465
> Fleur reclines on the bed, watching Anon kiss his way up her thigh
> She shivers at the stimulation, winking heavily
> Anon pauses before her marehood, glancing up at her with coltish whimsy
> Her blood runs cold, her mind going back to that fateful lunch
> At once, all her arousal turns to nausea
> She pushes his head away, not meeting his eyes
"I can't do it, I just keep imagining you slathering my marehood in ketchup. I'm sorry, I really am."
> Anon is crestfallen
> "How did you figure out the surprise?"
"We're breaking up, Anon. This isn't going to work."

Rys

>>29876720
If you find anything, for the love of all that is unholy and impure, LINK IT!

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>>29877664

>>29873495
This and also Anon always saying "fuck".

boop

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>>29867500
dont feels
open inside

>>29868674
dont forget

>>29874496
R O A S T E D

>>29864059
Yee

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Did you know cellos cost upwards of $10,000? Octavia must be loaded. Get in here, gold digger anons.

>>29864059
>>29864071
This story seems familiar, but what's it's title? I can't go back to read up on the story without knowing what it is, and only having a link at the end of the update kind of ruins the point.

>>29875140
Fantastic. I'd love it.
It's pure karmic retribution for an evil character. Unlike unknown situations in real life, this is a story, so we know that Sunset here is a villainous character who absolutely deserves what happens to her. Anon's less a character here and more of a force of narrative causality. It's beautiful, and I'd love reading that story.

Plus, I just really, really love any moments in stories and movies where the characters have that small moment of dawning realization where they first become aware of how screwed they are. Or how lucky they are. Either's pretty much good, but realizing that the monster is standing right behind you in horror movies gives better facial expressions.

>>29867111
oh fuck I remember writing that.

http://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28852475/#28864888

>>29880148
If she was loaded she wouldn't be sharing be sharing a tiny house with a DJ would she?

>>29880386
Vinyl's her bitch and she eats Octavia out every single night, whether she wants to or not. The minute she finds someone better at eating pussy, Vinyl's out on her mute ass.

This thread is not RGRE enough

>>29880360
Do more.

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>>29880440
Maybe some bombshell will RGRE it up enough.

>>29880440
Blame the discord.

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>>29880887

>>29880624
Guys, guys. I just had an idea.

>RGR-EG Bombshell

As a side-note, what's up with the captcha? Sometimes it loops over and over when I pick the right answer, and there have been way more of those "the correct images fade into different ones that aren't correct when you click on them" ones.

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deddest

have semi lewd pegasnuggling

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>>29880148

>>29874496
I keked

>>29875714
That post deserves a golf clap.Well done sir.

>Humans can't breed with ponies
>In order to have a child, your waifu must be impregnated by a trusted male friend
>But you're a big man who won't be no cuck
>You suggest a threesome
>They both assume you'll fuck her ass or mouth while he goes for the v
>But as soon as he penetrates, you penetrate him
>You're so big and manly, that your human sperm overloads his weak pony nuts and mixes with his cum
>His sperm is technically equine, but the kids will be genetically yours
>Just as god intended

>>29882183
I don't think biology works that way Anon.

>>29876424
>>29877473
Gotta say I'm quite amused by this. All the usual drama and bullshit is overshadowed anon carrying ketchup around. I bet you didn't see this one coming LaP.

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>>29882183
>>Humans can't breed with ponies
HOL UP

>>29880148
They CAN cost that much. And much more. But they don't ALL cost that much.

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>>29882183
Kinda reminds me of that one comic of discord having a threesome with fluttershy and whatever pony was her husband, discord fucks the husband so hard that when he cums he permanently renders his prostate chaotic or some shit. So when the husband gets fluttershy pregnant, his semen isn't pony based, it changes species randomly so they have about a dozen foals that are all different breeds.
Anyone know what I'm talking about?

>>29882257
sounds like trash

>>29882257
Never fuck with reality warpers.

>>29882257
Searched Derpi but can't find it. I'd love to see it.

>>29882212
>Despite popular belief, Humans /do/ have magic
>Fertility Magic
>Species boundaries mean nothing.
>Humans can breed with just about anything.

>bardsiredarockgolemdaughter.jpg

>Limey didn't know that Holder's Boulder was a girl rock.

>>29876411
between the shit accent insert and the trailer park trash I always carry a bottle of ketchup hyper autismo you've made this story irredeemable

>>29864999

I can totally see why a scum yankee pile of shit would carry ketchup with him, but it's a culinary and autistic sin to willfully ignore the obviously higher class setting and still slather that shit on your fucking food

God damn just spritz some fucking lemon juice
Even the trashiest fish places have lemon juice

I'm so fucking angry right now
And if you want a really nice fish, try golden tile
Soft, succulent meat with the taste of crab

>>29882496
It amuses me that ketchup can trigger people so hard.

>>29882502
It's not the ketchup but that he
1. Carries around his own condiments which is an insult to both the chef AND the restaurant.
2. He put the wrong kind of condiment on fish.

>>29882496
I give your story a 'Gordon Ramsey meme joke about cooking' out of 10

I wouldn't feed this shit to a puppy
Let the tasteless fucks at fimfiction slobber all over this plate
In the meantime, leave your apron and get the fuck out of this kitchen you nutella and sriracha paste eater!

>>29882515
wonder if it will get waved off as him being an alien with alien habits/needs. Especially if tomatoes are poisonous to ponies in this story.

Would be more shocking, but less offensive, if he just added something no pony would ever consider because it would make them ill at best or potentially be outright lethal.

>>29882515
I concur with everything you said except for implying that ketchup does not go on fish.

That is way too general a statement. I challenge you to eat fried catfish without ketchup. Some fish shouldn't be given ketchup like salmon. Some fish aren't edible without it.

>>29882597
I didn't take into account fried.
Yeah I can concede ketchup goes fine with fried foods because of the excess of fats that need to be balanced but even still a good dill, lemon and sourcream dip/sauce would function just as well.

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>>29882524

>>29882257
Well....its fucking Discord, he does weird shit all the time.

>>29882257
https://derpibooru.org/819729
https://derpibooru.org/903147
I think I missed one, but it's all by the same artist.

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>>29882463

>>29883829
Fucking chaos creatures. Always some god damn pun.

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Happy Estrus, /mlp/

What effect would it have on RGRE?

>>29882183

Adoption is always an option, Anon. You don't need to immediately go for the weird choice in an idea where humans can't reproduce with ponies.

I don't think we've had any stories where Anon and his waifu can't have kids naturally, so they adopt.

>>29883978
Careful, although you'd be giving a nice filly or colt a good home instead of being in an orphanage, you may invite the rage of the 'not my child' posters.
You don't want to have a young kid go another Easter or (insert horse holiday here) without a loving family, do you?

>>29882183
No, you can't do it with a male, to much cuck and too much gay.

The better solution is to have two waifus and have at least one be a unicorn.

For example, you love Celestia but cannot get her pregnant, so one night while she is in season you convince Luna to give herself a magic dick, then you fuck Luna in the pussy and tape yourselves together, then she only can thrust into Celestia when you thrust.

Now you are fucking Celestia and not fucking a stallion ass, so you are not cucked and not gay.
Luna always secretly had feeling for Celestia anyway, so it works out for everyone.

>>29882265
You were right.
>>29883696
This could have been good if it wasn't gay and full of OC's.

>>29884302
I remember there being this prompt where all the human men escape into equestria, but the ponies realize that they can't breed with humans so they kidnap and enslave human women to put them into breeding camps so they'll always have a fresh supply of dick. Good times

>>29883829
I have wanted to see this pun drawn
for
many
fucking
years


worth the wait

>>29869805
Sauce?
(No ketchup, though)

>>29884845
Looks like a recolor of https://derpibooru.org/1274237

>>29882211
Now we need an edit of that Twilight chocolate milk meme except with ketchup and a plate of fish

>>29884994
thanks

>>29884845
Artist is Reiduran he does gud shit

Fiona

in RGRE, do females have to put in all the effort during sex? is it an insult to say the stallion just stands there above her or lays around below her while she rides that dick?

>>29884645
> OC
Pokey Pierce is a background pony.

>>29886687
Of course, Stallions don't get to orgasm as much as mares, so you have to make each one of theirs as special and pleasurable as possible.

>>29877473
Food Police!

>>29876411
The next update better be chef Ram-see going full kitchen nightmare on this trailer trash anon

I mean who the hell puts catsup on non fried fish? Who the bloody fuck does that shit?!

My face is the colour of the fucking catsup! That's how mad I am.
Jesus fucking h christ you bloody dumb American!

And yes I can tell you're a fucking burger, because you yanks put fucking condiments on everything you eat you putrid greasy fat fucks! I bet you're a walking petroleum dispenser you ham handed tub of moldy lard!

Get the fuck out of this kitchen and learn some fucking proper manners!

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>>29886955

>>29864252
It was going great up until that last post. What the fuck? And what is a yin? Is this some kind of retarded crossover?

>>29866062
Because his sarcasm is correct.

>>29886955
You know how LaP did a good job in writing there? He got you to get emotionally invested in some way, shape or form over an imaginary character set in a fictitious world. He made you get angry over a fake mealtime setting in which proper manners were not known and mistakes made. The whole situation was setup to highlight the differences in culture and end in a joke where the punchline is a character making a huge faux pas, especially after foreshadowing that he had no clue what the fuck was the proper conduct at such a setting.

If anything LaP is probably sitting back and laughing over how much autistic screeching is made over a fucking ketchup bottle in his story. I know I'm definitely entertained by the story so far and immensely amused as to how much anger and such is shown by ketchup of all things.

>>29872180
That would be chaotic good. Your actions are irrelevant as long as it brings about a greater good, within reason.

>>29887034
See >>29864999 and >>29865018 for clarification as I believe that LaP was writing an anon from the Pennsylvania or somewhere thereabouts.

>>29872285
>>29873495
>>29875458
>>29875513
>>29875714
>>29875946
>>29876375
This desu

>>29876411
This fixes nothing. He's still making a total ass of himself. Is he literally retarded?

>RGREqG
>Accidentally knock-up your girlfriend.
How would that work out?

>>29886991
I didn't say anything.

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>>29887173
Easy, keep doing it.

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>>29887210
>Go to her parents because she insists that she has to explain.
>She sheepishly tells them she's pregnant.
>They tear into HER and not you.
>Be confused but relieved when they agree to help.

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>>29887268
>>They tear into HER and not you.
>>Be confused but relieved when they agree to help.

>not telling them you're very okay with this

>>29887289
I can't imagine Fluttershy's parents tearing into anyone. Maybe being mildly upset

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>>29887304
I imagine them being 'disappointed in her' would be enough to make Fluttershy break down into tears. She is very sensitive.

>>29887101
It's anger over the, quite frankly, autistic as hell rudeness and very low class manners

Then again I expect nothing less from a fucking burger and I'm still disappointed

/pol/ was right about you tea tossing idiots

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>RGREqG
>Play some online vidya because it's still interesting to you even in this backwards world.
>Keep mic off to avoid spergouts.
>Meet some chick who is pretty cool and doesn't mind you using text chat all the time.
>Become best friends and play everything together.
>Finally talk with her because you trust her and genuinely like her more than a friend.
>After her freakout, things go back to semi-normal, but you can feel some underlying tension now.
>A nearby con rolls around, and you ask her if she wants to meet there.
>Of course, she says yes.
>Little does she know, you've got more plans then just "meeting up"
>You're going to make some cliche nerd fantasies come true.
>By fucking her to her hearts content

You know, is this ketchup hate just going to be a joke until the next update or what?

>>29887433
Yeah probably

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>>29887414
Yeah that's right, take your tea and shove it up your ass you teeth stained bong.

>>29887433
RGRE is never gonna let it go
It's all ogre now
Ketchup shitposting is the new discord shitposting

Tbf fampai, carrying around a ketchup bottle and using it in a fancy restaurant is pretty fucking low class autistic shit

>>29887429
Anon is the dream nerdguy that only happens in secret books under SciTwi's bed, Anon brings them out and breaks her with every fetish she has in them, including handholding while cumming together. The degenerate.

>>29886991
Someone is mad that his self insert habits are considered literal autism

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>>29887429
Oh yes.

>>29887449
It's just... when you go to a high class restaurant, you're not just eating food, you're eating someone's art. Imagine if you painted someone a beautiful portrait that you're proud and the first thing he does with it is draw a mustache on it with a black Sharpie, It's completely ludicrous

>>29887476
Well maybe they should have given me more of their 'art' so I wouldn't leave the restaurant hungry for a sandwich.

>>29887476
>>29887465
At this point all I can believe is your some wannabe kitchen "artist" that got the ketchup treatment, and your food was still shit after a glorious helping of the great red sauce. Being mad for character's failure by proxy isn't your problem bud. Chill your tits, get great big burger, and just go too town.

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>>29886991
>tfw LaP uses the picture you made for him.

>>29887429
>Anon is the cool red-pilled guy in a world full of disgusting turboautists screaming about how they're being opressed by the matriarchy

>>29887476
No I understand, that's why I don't mind the ketchup shitposting, it's a legitimate complaint in my eyes

Anyone defending that level of autism is too far gone

>>29887429
>>29887456
>>29887525
That's just what the turbo meniniest that hate gaming want people to think, Anon knows this bullshit game for what it is and goes fight it in person...maybe getting a nerdgirl harem at the same time.

>>29887507
Those are two different people anon
Nice try though
I'm just happy to see that as autistic as mlp can get, at least quite a few of us aren't THAT autistic

>>29887429
>By fucking her to her hearts content
>Not fucking her to the sound of the one up song
>Finishing deep inside to the tune of the ending victory song
>Not fucking her to the beat of the boss fight music the entire time
>Not cuddling after the climax
You disgust me pleb.

>>29876457
>>29875719
Yes, I'll take 100,000< words of that please.

>>29887564
>at least quite a few of us aren't THAT autistic
Remember anon, autism is a sliding scale; and I'd rather have the functional autism rather than the Chris-Chan autism.

>>29887429
>>29887429
>Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck…
>Your heart thunders in your ears as you look around and wade through the throng of women at the con.
>Anon said he would be hanging out by the Planet of Battlecraft table, one of the most densely packed ones.
>He gave you a general description of himself that was sort of lackluster.
>Normal height, normal weight, in a black PoB shirt.
>Every guy you saw however was either a paid cosplayer or, well…
>It’s more polite to just not talk about the others.
>But damn did he pick a bad spot…
>Out of the dull roar of the crowd a few nearby voices stand out.
>”W-well I’d be happy to escort m’sir around the c-convention. Anything for a c-c-cutie..?”
>You snicker to yourself. Even to a pro spaghetti-mancer like you, that hurt to listen to.
>The next voice, however, stops you dead.
>”That’s awful nice, but like I said, I’m waiting for a friend. Sorry but I’ll have to decline.”
>That’s him.
>That’s Anon!
>And some other girl is talking to him!?
>You push through the crowd to the side of the PoB table, where you see..!
>A rather normal guy, almost deceptively so.
>But to you…
>He’s PERFECT. Everything you’d hoped him to be.
>Next to him looking dejected is some chick dressed so cringely that you wonder if it’s a costume or not.
>Fedora, too small shirt with a sagging bust, a nasty gut, and flip-flops with socks under dirty jeans.
“Eck. At least TRY not to look like a neet…” you mutter to yourself.

1/2

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>>29887874
>Eyes that you’ve only seen in still images turn to you, lighting up in delight. “Twilight!”
>Anon races over, and before you know it, you’re wrapped in a tight hug.
>He’s pressed so tightly to you, you can feel his mouth lifting into a smile on your cheek.
>”I’ve been waiting so long for this,” he murmurs in your ear. “I was sort-of worried you would think this was a joke or something and not show.”
“O-of course I would show!” You exclaim, trying to keep both the spaghetti in your skirt pockets and the nervous bile in your throat down. “I would do anything for you!”
>CRINGE.
>He pulls away, his smile turning into a grin as he keeps an arm around you. “Really now? How about you show me around for starters? I really only came here for you and have never been to a con before.”
>You nod, trying to will the red on your face away.
>”Great!” He says. “And after we’ve had fun here and things start winding down for the day…”
>He leans in again with a smirk and half-lidded eyes that makes your heart leap into your throat.
>”...Head back to the hotel room, and I can show you a few things of my own,” he almost whispers, his fingers tapping your exposed thigh and the hem of your skirt.
>*Crack!*
>The people around you and Anon had gone silent, watching with gaping expressions. One girl let her face fall so far that her thick glasses slipped of her fer and shattered on the ground.
>As quickly as you could, you took your favorite support main’s hand and dragged him away, trying to keep your blush from hitting your neck.
>But you still felt moisture build between your legs, both Anon’s words and from the looks of villain-producing jealousy and heartbreak sent your way.
>Cliche dreams are always the sweetest when they come true.

2/2

>>29887874
>“Eck. At least TRY not to look like a neet…” you mutter to yourself.
kek

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>>29887877
>his fingers tapping your exposed thigh and the hem of your skirt
oh my how forward

>>29886991
can someone edit it so Lap is holding ketchup?

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>>29888300
I tried.

>>29888300
Or instead have Lap yelling "ITS NORMAL OK" while pouring ketchup onto a plate of whatever instead of go to bed

>>29888470
You did good son, you did good.

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>>29888480
>I actually know people who put ketchup on ice-cream

>>29888626
>noram
i'll go kill myself now

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>>29887877
>The next morning, after the best sleep she's ever had, Twilight wakes up and pulls herself out of the stained hotel bed covers.
>There is Anon, already awake and grinding way on Planet of Battlecraft on his open laptop.
>He smiles at her, then as-if reading her mind, gets her some reheated pizza and a cold energy drink.
>As she fills her stomach, Twi looks over Anon's shoulder and sees that he's grinding for gear for HER main.
>From that moment she realizes that she's hopelessly in love.

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>>29888626
>>29888633

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>>29888633
welp, kek has spoken

>>29888626
Some people actually put jalapeno peppers in their ice cream

>>29888667
and we consider these 'people' subhumans my friend

>>29888636
I really love making up bland/punny names names for real life products

>>29887465
Hav you not actually read any of LaP's stories? Aside from a frequent fascination with LIFTING, many of his Anon's are wildly different from each other.

Some are scholarly, cultured and refined (King Anon with Queen Bugbutt), some are...not (Ketchup. And Incog, anon's brother in a few stories).

>>29888636
That is a very cute horse person girl, I just felt like adding that in amongst the condiment wars...

>>29887476
Somebody needs to learn about the ephemeral nature of some art.

Food is one that is a temporary experience by nature. It's not comparable to a painting that is going to sit unchanged for centuries, it's gone in less than an hour.

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>>29888731
"Fool! You silly, unseeing child! If all you seek in life is to fill your stomach with some tasteless matter, then why are there Chefs in this world?! We labor tirelessly to make something wonderful that will disappear from sight as soon as it is enjoyed. That is the life of a Chef!"

Fuck your food snobbery bullshit
Condiments should be added to taste.
Different people have different preferences.
While putting tomato sauce on icecream IS weird, it is acceptable if that's what you like the taste of.
All meat should be thoroughly cooked the whole way through.

>>29887476
You pay for good food when you go to a restaurant.
If you buy food and think it would be better with some condiment, it's your decision to add it.
If you want to make art out of food, don't do it on someone else's meal and then get pissy when they make their food taste better.
No, taste is subjective and judged by the consumer.

>>29864252
Story is interesting, keep going.

>>29888673
Niggers?

>>29888626
>>29888647
>?
?

What would RGRE /d/ be like?

>>29888895
Still tentacles and cuntboys.

>>29888895
Less futa threads.

>>29888895
Basically exactly the same.

>>29888930
Sounds like a better place already.

>>29888895
A lot of stuff would be the same, diapers, object transformation, etc. Futa would be almost non-existent, but cunt-colts would be everywhere, with all sorts of variants. Other things like prostitution and bimbos would be simple genderswaps.
Hole in the wall...I guess that would be something like cum faucet? Teasing and fucking stallions stuck in various positions.
Cock vore would might be unbirthing.

>>29888951
>Hole in the wall...
Mares sticking their back half through the wall.

>>29887304
>Fluttershy's dad isn't even really upset, just worried.
>If she was just a little older he'd be overjoyed that she's actually going to make him a grandpa
>Unlike his son who seems as if he's never going to get married.
>How that boy can manage to be so hopeless in the field of romance when the girls outnumber him 4 to 1, he still doesn't understand.

>>29888921
>>29888930
>>29888931
>>29888951
>>29888958
I am intrigued

>>29888921
Except the tentacles have flowers on them that seek to plunder the male's seed

>>29889149
>female plundervines
wew

>>29888951
>Cock vore might be unbirthing
Does this mean that comforting, warm environments are likened to a father's testes instead of a mother's womb?

>>29889191
pffft

>>29887429
I would read the shit outta this

>>29889314
Correction, I would read MOAR of this..please

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>>29888951
>Twilight spends weeks writing an essay proving, once and for all, whether or not cunt colts are lez
>She gets one reply and the thread 404's

>>29889409
>"tl;dr, dyke."

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>Stallions have an in-built resistance to mare pheromones, so they can only be affected up to a certain point.
>It's not much. Stallions just find sex slightly more enticing than before.
>Anon, however, has no such resistance.
>When estrus rolls around and the air in town is a practical miasma of hormones...
>Between the constant thoughts of dragging the nearest mare away and plunging in, he never realized that an erection could hurt.

>>29888951
what, praytell is a cunt colt? Does he have a vagina above his penis instead of underneath it? and also
>>29889191
They dissolve into sentient cum

>>29889475
That's silly.

Would humans be extremely attracted to snails because they don't have built-in countermeasures against snail pheromones?

>>29889583
It's harmony/love magic bullshit, move along

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>>29889687
And I see Rarity's 'harmony/love magic bullshit' is specially effective on dragons.

How would it affect humans, I wonder.

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>>29889727
>It doesn't work at all, much to Rarity's stinging pride, since she can usually catch eyes even with her colty personality.
>Insult is added to injury when Anon is magnetically attracted to Rainbow, who can't keep a stallion to save her life.

>>29889727
>Anon is repulsed by Rarity
>Actually is due to magic, not Rarity being a hoe

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>>29889751
I don't blame him.

>>29889753
>Twilight discovers this and devotes great effort into researching it.
>"The Polarity of Attraction: Love Magnets, how do they work?"