Magicless Anon #8 - Don't Drop The Soap Edition

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Fuck, didn't link previous bread
>>29731774

kill me now

>>29832959
>that photo
Wtf was that? DELET THIS. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>It has been about a week since your arrival into Ponyville. You can barely express in words the amount of awe and excitement you felt when you arrived. Perhaps, you thought, this was your personal heaven. It’s nothing less than what you ever dreamed about.
>Twilight’s done her best to help you fit in with everyone, but you know not everyone is as accepting.
>You’ve been staying at her castle and met her friends, which you decided not to reveal any of your knowledge about.
>You explained your situation the best you could, and that you wouldn’t want to go back under any circumstances. Your arrival here is just as much as a mystery to them as it is to you.

>You’re sitting in the kitchen with Twilight, who has made you dinner.
>You take a bite of one of the several vegetables on your plate. You really are going to miss eating meat.
"Surely I could at least do SOMETHING with magic."
>"You have the magic of friendship! Friendship is it's own type of magic here in Equestria. So maybe you aren't as magic-less as you thought."
>You scoff and cross your arms.
"Thanks for trying to cheer me up."
>You turn away from her and sigh.
>She stands up from her side of the table and trots over to you, pulling up a chair to sit by you. She rests her hoof on your shoulder.
>"You'd be surprised at what all you can do without magic."
>You sit down your fork, turning your attention away from your food to her.
"...Like?"
>"Well, like many things! You could become a teacher, or you could do other normal jobs. It's not like every job in Equestria needs magic."
"Eugghhh... It's not that, Twilight. I just feel like I'm missing out on something. I’ve never experienced real magic before."
>Twilight thinks for a moment before speaking.
>”Well, I suppose you could try alchemy. Of course, you would have to do a lot of studying. I'm sure I could teach you a thing or two. How's that sound?"

>>29833855
>You’ll give that a good thought or two. You could probably do a lot of cool stuff with potions. That doesn't sound too bad.

maybe this will stir some ideas

Time to Piddlypaddly put it in your biddlybuddly butt-doowop

>>29833855
>>29833865
>Feeling bad you can't do magic?
>I know just the thing!
>Chemistry!

Thanks, Twiggles

>>29833865
that will be the beginning of my new story if I do start one
MSG update tonight

>>29834493
Not even deleting will save you (I'm guilty of deleting my posts several times over simple mistakes)

>need to update intensifies


>You scout through the nearly empty streets
>Only a few catbirds are seen but none of them try to attack you
>You guess being taller than most means your a predator
>It makes sense
>Dinosaur press were fucking huge
>And you went to Jurassic park
>What..
>Why did you?...
>"Its my magic anon your mind is becoming accustomed to magic in your body,but I must say your really behind most that have those things..."
>You turn around and see the weird mix and match creature sitting and reading the news
>Ugh not this shit again
"So what is it this time? Gonna threaten to destroy my world? Cause I don't care dude like at all"
>"Yes yes you seem to not care about a lot,anon you do understand I want to help you right?"
>It gets up and beelines for you
>fug.png
>"You see,your body is the opposition to mine" it says with a wide smile
>"You are like what your people called a resistor you conduct magic but can't do anything with it,you cause the magical field to rub on you rather than pass through you like most creatures here"
>it snaps and a golden coin appears in it paw-hand
"But this,this is"
>It poofs next to you making you Jump a little
>God.fucking.damn
>Why the fuck is it so creepy
>Like Jesus
>And for no reason
>It gives you the coin back
...
>He's been going on for about fifteen minutes about how you can help him and be the ultimate weapon against the sisters bla,bla,blab,
"Ok I fucking get it shut.up."
>You say annoyed
>Ugh you hate that kind of person
>You know? The kind that talks themself up all the time and really cocky
>This asshole is the definition of cocky holy shit
"Look dude I don't want to talk to you for twenty more minutes I have to find Sky's mom.."
>"ooooooo an adventure I'll follow along" it says with a "innocent" look in its eyes
>Yeah no you're not gonna even,just no
>endme.why
>"Oh come on anon lighten up"
>it says while giving you a friendly Pat on the back
>if this takes longer than thirty minutes you swear to god

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>>29834522
Yea sucks when you have to delet it tbbh
I try to proof-read as much as I can but sometimes I forget to do whole chunks

>mfw I do this often and probably will for as long as I write

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Yea I'm gonna keep complaining about one-post updates as long as literally every writefag keeps putting them out

I mean green is green and I'm not complaining about that, not sure all. But the drip-feeding, it hurts.

>>29834641
That's only bits, friend.
I've never done one post updates consistently.

>>29834727
Maybe not consistently, but I've seen a lot of writefags put out one-post updates time to time.

Sea Urchin might be one of the exceptions.

Note that I'd like to reiterate that I'm definitely not complaining about new content - quite the opposite.

>>29834641
Shit famm. I try to space out my updates since we got four or so storys going all at one time
But your wish is my command so I'll try to post more frequently;^)

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>>29832959
>That picture
Fucking lost

>>29834550
>You are walking up and down the street with this weirdo
>Fuck your life
>And fuck you in general because you forgot to ask for the house number
>Fugg
>When the sun is about to go down you just think 'fuck it'
>You run back to sky with ??????? In tow
>You find sky in a heap weeping,the ground wet with tears
>When she sees you she perks up
>"ANON did you fine her?!"
>Her ears flatten when she sees her mum not with you
>Time2lie.exe
"Your mom.....the griffans got to her and When I got there.... They were already eating her"
>You can see the exact moment in which her mind shatters like glass
>It's sad but you didn't want to have to look for more than a few hours
>Yes you know your a faggot and a nigger
>But you'll manage
>Now she has incentive to renounce the poni princesses
>Goingjustasexpected.os
>You build a fire and you both spend the night cuddling
>The Mr mix'n match is gone
>Good

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>>29834727
Guess he does a bit at a time

>>29835113
If I'd known complaining is all it took to get more green I'd have started doing that a long time ago

>>29835199
Anon you little shit, why didn't you just say you couldn't find her in case she pops up later

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>Spends all of my time thinking about horses
>finds solace into coming home everyday to read greens and watch livestreams with fellow anons
>no longer hangs out with any friends as they've lost interest in the show
>no gf or social life
>constantly thinking of ideas for greens ill never have the time or drive to write
>realizes this isn't healthy
>mfw this is all I ever think about every day

Urchin your story is something I look forward to reading every day. I'm always thinking about when is the next day you will decide to post.

Going ahead and reposting where I left off my from story with a few changes.

>Rarity stands behind you, examining your form. ”So Anon, what do you desire?”
“I need some shirts. Some pants and shorts... A coat for winter. Socks and shoes. Something other than this to wear.”
>“Of course! Just a moment, dear.”
>She’s back in front of you, levitating a tape measure. “Could you take those off, please? I must make sure everything will fit perfectly. I’ve never designed clothes for anypony of your kind before, but I assure you, they will be fabulous nonetheless.”
>Right. Most ponies usually don’t wear clothes. You lift your shirt over your head, tossing it aside.
>Now for the pants...
>Don’t be a pussy, Anon. You’re just stripping in front one very cute mare-No, stop.
>You look down. God dammit, why now? You don’t want her getting the wrong idea.
“Uh, could you just measure out my torso for now? I’m pretty, uh, pretty cold.”
>Rarity briefly looks confused. “Oh, not having hair covering your body must be chilly at times. No problem.”
>She gets several measures of your torso before writing them down onto her notepad. “Alright darling, you think you could take those off? If it is too cold, I could just measure over those clothes. I’d much rather the measurements be perfect, though.”
>Great, now you look like a wuss.
>You look down again. Well, now or never...
>When she’s done measuring you slip back on your clothes. You catch a whiff of your own odor. You're not smelling too great. You’re relieved that Rarity hasn’t said anything.
“Oh, and Rarity, nothing too gaudy, please. You can keep it simple.”
>She takes that almost offensively. ”Anon, I’m a mare of fashion! I’ll never make anything ‘too simple’."
>You won’t argue against that.
>“One more thing. Is there any style in particular you interested in?”
“Whatever you think will look good on me.”
>”Very well. Seeing how in dire need you are of an outfit, I’ll have one completed and brought to you tomorrow!”
“Thanks, Rarity.”

>>29835647
Go on an adventure, Anon

>>29835724
Feels like a while since you've wrote, nice to have you back

>>29835687
Put that other bit of green back right now you little bitch

>>29835687
>You find Spike standing next to the doorway, ready to leave. You turn to exit with him.”
>”Oh and Anon, I would bathe soon if I were you. You’re pretty filthy after today.”
>You cringe.
“I know. C’ya later.”
>You wave goodbye, as does she.

>You and Spike make it back to the castle as the sun sets. You want nothing more than to take a nice hot shower. But you and Spike decided to have dinner first.
>As you two enter the kitchen, you find Twilight having just that with the Mary Sue of magic herself. You forgot she lived here.
>Their conversation stops abruptly as you walk in.
“Home early?”
>“Oh, Hi Anon and Spike. This is Starlight.”
>”How did the meeting with the towns ponies go?” Spike walks up to the table and hops up onto a chair. You follow up and take a seat right next to him.
>Starlight was visibly nervous at your presence. ”It went fine, they hope I’ll come by and visit again soon.” Starlight nervously smiles to you.
>”Hi Anon. I’m Starlight Glimmer, Twilight’s student here in the castle.”
“Pleasure to meet you.”
>You feel like giving her a good first impression, and take Spike’s bit of advice.
“I happen to come from another dimension. Hey Twilight, any more of that spaghetti left for us?”
>“Did you say, another dimension? Wait, what! How?”
>You hold up a single finger to Starlight, signaling for her to wait.
>You look over to Twilight.
>”Don’t worry, I've made you guys some too."
>Twilight levitates you and Spike a plate of food each.
"Thank you."
>You give Starlight a brief explanation of your story, leaving out the details about the show.
>She doesn’t ask as many questions as you thought she would, but the whole idea of you being of another dimension intrigues her.
>Twilight was already finished with her food and was just listening to your conversation.
“So what was that whole ‘gotta go fast and ditch Anon’ thing earlier?”

>>29835752
I have a problem with deleting and fixing my fuckups

>>29835758
>”Oh thats right! Celestia wants to meet you. She said she would be able to show up to your welcome party I’ve helped plan for you! Isn’t that wonderful?”
>You choke on your spaghetti.
“Party?”
>Twilight was taken aback by your reaction. “To introduce everypony to the new resident of Ponyville. I had Pinkie plan everything out for two days from now. Wait, sorry, are you not comfortable with that? I can always have Pinkie-”
“No, it’s a great idea. It’s just the thing I need to get settled in to this town.”
>Saying that made her relax. “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”

I had about three more posts worth to update with, but I need to proofread more tomorrow.

Anon beginning to writefag, here. Offering a nightly bump and a good night/morning/day to you folk. Sorry that I've not churned anything out, this is a little taxing for me, and if the experienced guys like MSG have any tips, please share them when you have the time.

>>29832959
What I find most amusing about this image is the fact that changelings are classified as Animals, not Ponies under law. Discrimination much?

>>29835780
Looking forward to it
>>29836077
Don't wear yourself out friend, take it easy of you need to

>>29836081
It's what they get for being abominations. If they wanted rights they shouldn't have been chanelings.

>>29833865
I had an idea for potions, but it was looking to much like that "Obsession" story.

Don't worry, i have another idea or twenty.

>>29836077
It's already been said but take your time. It's for your enjoyment just as much as ours, not to mention a rushed product can be noticeable if you're not careful.

More Obsession coming tomorrow.

>>29836527
can't wait for the next installment of 'In Which the Writer Expresses xer Frustration at Anon for Claiming that Stabbing the Snow was an Asspull by Detailing the Specifics of a Literal Asspull'

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>>29836713

>>29835647
You're going to spiral even further out of control if you don't get a grip, fast.

>>29835357
Faggot
If she pops up later the reveal her mom wasn't ded would make her closer to anon and her mom

>>29835199
>When day breaks you both wake up and start walking
>"How did this happen?!"
>You have no fucking clue
"I don't know but...I bet the....."
>You trail off
>she gasps"the Princesses!"
>FUGG
>You can't go back to the poni gods
>You won't go back
>You stop yourself for a second
>Idea!
>You go onto autopilot as you think about the coin..
>If you can't conduct magic doesn't that mean you're immune?
>Wait did you go over this already?
>you ponder about how your going to do this
...
>its night and you and sky are still walking
>the only light being the full moon and stars
>man its really beautiful
>you see a massive black hole in the sky
>stars circle around it
>you can actually see them moving but only slightly
>wew

well if I'm going to bed its 4:14
And I wanted to do 2 updates per day so I'll post more tm

>>29836077
Read something over a good fifty times before posting
Even when you think you're ready to post you'll see some minor mistake/way to improve something then want to delete your posts

>>29836077
A good tip is to never use your first idea. At least, not at first.
You should go through at least three ideas first, and then compare and contrast for which one would be the best to write about.
That way, you don't write something that sounds good at first, but then turns out to be utter shit in text.
Trust me on this one

>>29836923
No, Sky would see that anon was lying because anon specifically said that he saw her mom get eaten. If the mom shows up now she'll be angry at anon for lying to her

>>29838886

>>29837704
Trust me, I know

>>29837704
I always use my first idea. I'll be listening to a song and it will spark my imagination of some epic climax to a story. It all builds from there.

Ehm-us-gee here, making some minor changes to my latest posts to help with consistency. Will not post tonight, going to go for an Urchin-sized update.

Bump, page 5 is not a place for a thread like this

>>29840538
What exactly do you mean by urchin-sized?

>>29840820
Urchin writes massive updates.

>>29840982
8-ish posts is considered massive? I hate myself if I can't deliver at least 7; in my opinion, that's still a short read.

>>29841019
I never said they were massive
I think that should be about a standard for updating

>>29840538
>Urchin-sized
l-lewd~

>>29842031
l-lewd

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>>29837964
Faggot
If her mom comes back that detail won't pass through her mind she'll be too caught up in her mom not being dead

>>29821552

>Your arms quiver and give, dropping you onto the floor.
>Dirt and specks of stone rub against your face and you sprawl out on the hard surface.
>You’ve one hour to rest until she returns.
>You better make that hour count, Anon.
>Closing your eyes, you do your best to drift off to sleep.
>It almost works.
>The pain in your tush is hardly noticeable in a few minutes, but once that’s gone, there’s nothing to stop you from thinking about how untired you are.
>The next attempt at slumber is rolling onto your side.
>Obviously that was a terrible mistake since your moving just that little bit was enough to make your body think it was time to be awake.
>You groan and sit up, rubbing your eyes.
>Wow, it must have been a whole five minutes.
>Hoh boy, you sure are rested.
>Glaring at your restraints, you can only picture the day when they finally come off.
“Damn you, Celestia. Damn you and your whole little castle.”
>With nothing else to keep you occupied, you make way for the bookcase and look for something interesting.
>None of them are spellbooks.
>Hell, none of them are even about magic.
>It’s almost like she’s trying to tell you something.
>Your hand travels to a little blue book on the middle shelf.

>>29842803

>Well, it doesn’t look interesting in the slightest but its Earth counterpart isn’t too bad so you decide to spend your hour doing this as opposed to sitting in the corner.
>You lean against the wall and open up the dusty old thing.
>The page is grimey, so you give it a quick blow, sending a cloud of filth from it.
“High quality books here, Celestia.”
>Time flies by as you scan each page.
>The rest of your hour passes and right as you get to the part of the mysterious benefactor who has been carefully guiding the main character’s life from right under his nose, your door pops open.
>Out comes your little unicorn friend.
>The sun bounces off her golden helmet and right into your eyes.
>You wince and close them, sending yourself into darkness.
>”Anon,” shouts Blondie, “Come on. Sleep time is over.”
>Sleep time. Right.
>Better luck tonight, man.
>You dogear the page and close up the book.
>After setting it gently down on the stool, you approach the mare with a flat face.
>”What’s the matter? Still not feeling well?”
“Well, that depends. If I have to sit through another preschool class, I might be deathly ill.”
>”It’s not preschool.”
“Must have just been the hour-and-a-half flu. It’s very common these days.”
>She waves her hoof, prompting you to follow her down the rabbit hole.
>With an exaggerated sigh, you go.
>The stairs aren’t any easier on day two than they were the previous night.
>You’re still sweating by the end of it, but at least the frequency at which you’ve ascended and descended them today has tuckered you out a bit.
>Maybe they’ll take you to a gym where you can run your little heart out.
>Oh, what are you thinking? Of course they won’t give a high class criminal the opportunity to strengthen his body.

>>29842808

>On the way down, you can hear her humming a little tune to herself.
>You slow down on the walking, falling back on the stairs enough to wrap around and get a look at her face.
>There’s a content little smile sitting on it that bounces with her bobbing head.
“You are far too happy right now.”
>”Am I?”
“You’re going to have to stop that.”
>A few steps later, it hits you with a truck the only reason she would be happy in this situation.
>It’s not spending time with you.
>It’s not going up and down these stairs.
>It’s not the silence.
>It can only be one thing.
>The bottom of the staircase comes into sight, and with it, so to does the familiar guard squad.
>There’s one more pony though, and it’s one you certainly aren’t too excited to see.
>”Hello, Anonymous.”
“Celestia,” you sigh. “So wonderful of you to pull time out of your busy day to visit little ole’ me.”
>”Well, I heard you were tired.”
“So tired. But that’s ok, I suppose. Everyone needs a rest now and then. Righto, time to get back to my super important friendship lessons. I’m at least at a first grade level now, right, Blondie?”
>You try to walk by her, but your feet don’t ever leave their spot.
>They can’t move, in fact. They’re being held in place by a familiar golden aura.
>”Actually, I wanted to ask you about that. Why were you so tired, exactly?”
>Oh god damn it.
“Well, you see, we humans are the butt joke of evolution. We’re all allergic to water despite needing it to live.”
>Your face is as serious as you can manage it, but you can tell you’re going pale.
>That excuse sounded so much better at the time.
>But to be fair, you and thinking straight weren’t exactly on good terms right at that moment.
>”Funny, I don’t remember Twilight ever mentioning that about humans. In fact, I do believe that we thoroughly washed your body while you were asleep and didn’t see any reaction.”
“It comes and goes?”

>>29842812

>”Anon, be honest. What is the real reason you retired to your room?”
>Come on, Anon. You can think of something.
>All you have to do is stall while your mind works out something on its own.
“Do they have to be present for this?”
>You suddenly felt sick.
>”They’re your guards and substitute teachers. They’re going to be present for pretty much everything.”
>You had a massive erection and needed to take care of it.
“Yeah, but I don’t think they need to hear our private conversations.”
>You have a crippling fear of taking showers with other people.
>”I wouldn’t call this private. That is, unless there’s something deeply personal you’d like to tell me about.”
>Oh, you got it.
“Heh, nothing personnel, kid. I just didn’t like being treated like an infant,” you shrug.
>”Elaborate.”
“I’m a fully grown adult, Celestia. I’ve lived my life already. The idea of going back to kindergarten doesn’t really sit well with me, you know? Can you blame a guy for wanting to get out of that situation?”
>She stares at you, her eyes dripping with a gallon of condescension and a litre of thought.
>Come on, just take it.
>”No, I suppose not.”
>Fucking score.
>”Even so, do refrain from cutting your lessons short. Consider this strike two.”
“You can’t do that!”
>”Of course I can. You deliberately undermined my orders and sheltered yourself away from potential friends because you didn’t like how you were being treated rather than talking it out like a rational person.”
“I did talk it out!”
>”Knowing you? You probably made a few sarcastic remarks, got in a personal jab or two, and then acted like annoying little foal until resigning to your fate.”
“That’s--”
>”Accurate?”
“Not entirely.”
>”Anon.”
“I don’t like your attitude.”

>>29842818

>”Do I hear a strike three?”
“No!”
>Her eyebrow raises slowly, expectantly.
“No,” you mumble.
>After taking a deep breath, you continue.
“I’m sorry for my tone. In the future, I will make my grievances known in a polite and rational manner. Thank you for this learning opportunity.”
>”Very good.”
>You fucking cunt.
>You can just picture yourself stabbing that pointy, ugly little tiara right through her big fat throat.
>”Now, if you’re all set, we can begin on your next lesson.”
>You could grab her hair and just wrap it around her neck.
>You’d pull it nice and tight and just watch her eyes bulge out of her blue face.
>”Well?”
“Yes, I’m ready.”
>Two strikes down, two to go.
>You’re on thin ice here, Anon, and she’s shining the sun right down on you.
>You didn’t think she’d be playing this hard, but shit, you’re getting the feeling that one poorly timed sneeze is a strike against you.
>Celestia turns her back to you, giving you the opportunity to flip her off.
>Of course she wouldn’t know what it means, but you don’t even want to risk that right now.
>When she starts moving, so too does your team of guards, prompting your shuffling.
>All this walking today has really got your appetite going.
>You could do with a quick bite.
>After a minute, you begin to recognize the path you’re taking and your hunger rises.
>This is the way to the dining hall, isn’t it?

>>29842826

“Hey, what’s up? It’s still hours to dinner.”
>You feel something poke your behind, causing you to clench your cheeks with enough force to turn coal into a diamond.
>Your head whips around so fast it would fly off your neck if it weren’t screwed on.
>Big Daddy has his spear lowered and jabs your ass again.
>”Don’t question the princess.”
>Oh, the words you would have with him.
>You can’t go mouthing off though, not in front of Celestia.
>Instead, you just bottle up your anger, shove into a corner in the back of your mind to fester and age into a fine wine, and turn your attention back ahead.
>Soon enough, your merry band reaches the aforementioned room and are led in by a few butlers.
>The table is still decorated, but not as decked out in terms of food.
>All that sit on it are a few golden bowls of fruit and, at the end, what looks more and more like a full tea party.
>Oh hell no. Please, Jesus, don’t do this.
>“Are you hungry, Anon?” asks the princess.
>You glare at Blondie. She shrinks back into her armor.
“I thought you said I wasn’t going to preschool.”
>”This isn’t preschool. This is the dining hall.”
>You could slap her right now.
>You could smack her right on her stupid horse face.
>You could knock her herbivore teeth out and get your soul torn to fucking shreds in the process.
>It’s cool, Anon.
>It’s just a tea party. Totally not worth the destruction of your immortal being.
>”It’s time for tea. Everyone sit down.”
>You find yourself in the same spot as last night, along with Celestia still at the head of the table.
>To your left is Blondie, and across from you is some schmuck who looks like he hasn’t slept in a week.
>Jeez, you couldn’t look that emotionless if you tried.

>>29842836

>Celestia’s magic hums along as she moves the large, ornate teapot around the table, filling everyone’s cups.
>The stallion across the way looks up, locking eyes with you.
>His soulless gaze sends a chill down your spine.
>Leaning over, you whisper into Blondie’s ear. She yelps at first, but upon realizing you’re not trying to drink her blood or do something else totally nasty and super evil, she listens up.
“What’s the deal with that guy?”
>”Him?” she asks, pointing to the pony in question.
“Yeah him. Also, be a little more subtle, would you? I’m whispering here.”
>”We don’t know what’s wrong. Twinkling Mail has been like that for a few weeks now.”
>That name sounds awfully familiar.
>”Bonding already, I see,” comes Celestia’s soft voice.
>Your attention is back on your plate as a pastry drops onto it.
>You lift the crumby thing, watching it flop down and wiggle as you shake it.
“A limp biscuit, huh? Your chefs never cease to amaze me.”
>”Is that sarcasm?”
“Am I really banned from using sarcasm?”
>”Hurtful sarcasm, yes.”
“But all of it is.”
>”Well, I suppose that’s your answer then.”
“You can’t be serious.”
>Man, if you had your magic…
>Arce incenderant.
>You can find some space for that somewhere, can’t you?
>Yeah, in a nice font too.
>Obviously it can’t go on your chest. Somebody would see a brand new rune and get to thinking all the wrong ideas.

>>29842841

>In the meantime, this biscuit is waiting for you.
>You move forward over your plate and stuff your face with the snack.
>It’s horrendously dry.
>Chewing it becomes a struggle after a while, forcing you to fill your mouth with some tea to help wash it down.
>When the biscuit is gone, you’re left with nothing but a mouth full of tea and wow, you are just amazed.
>The flavor is so robust, so full, yet not so loud that it assaults your senses.
>This is top shelf stuff.
“Wow, I didn’t know I meant this much to you.”
>Another food item lands on your plate, shaking it.
>This biscuit, it would seem, is quite a bit firmer than the first.
>”Well, you’re not an animal.”
“Just a highly dangerous super criminal dabbling in black magic.”
>”With an attitude problem.”
“Can’t forget that part.”
>Wait, did that count as sarcasm?
>Your running sweat must have alerted her to your thoughts because she shakes her head and says, “No, that’s not a strike. Don’t worry.”
>You wipe some sweat from your forehead and get back to your so-called meal.
>All around you, guards just talk about this and that, shooting the shit like it was another day.
>All but two, that is.
>Blondie, who seems a little too nervous to be talking to anyone, and Twinkling Mail, who can’t take his eyes off you.
“So,” you start after a sip of tea, “Celestia, can I ask you a question?”
>”Of course you can.”
“I know you say that now, but this is sort of a touchy subject and I want immunity from strikes for it.”
>”No promises.”
>No promises your ass.
“Why are runes evil? Your explanation last night left a lot to be desired.”
>She sets down her teacup and closes her eyes.
>”Anon, what are you doing?” asks Blondie.
“I feel like that’s a very reasonable question, all things considered.”
>”You can’t just ask someone something like that.”
“And why not? I have a lot invested in this.”
>Would taking off your jacket be a strike?

>>29842846

>”Tonight, Anonymous, we shall begin your studies,” announces Celestia.
“Studies?”
>She sets her cup firmly down in its dish and replaces it in her magical grip with a biscuit.
>”Yes, studies.”
“Like remedial friendship lessons? Oh, come on. I’m trying here, aren’t I?”
>”Barely, but yes, I can see you’re trying. These won’t be friendship lessons though.”
>What else could they be then?
>Is she going to take you to actual preschool?
>”I will help you to understand yourself.”
>You shoot her a deadpan look.
>Understand yourself?
>Is that some kind of new age pseudo-intellectualism?
>”Any questions you have will be answered then. Until that time, focus on the present. Anonymous, would you please pass the butter?”
“There is no butter.”
>Her horn sparks, and a matching light goes off in the corner of your eyes.
>”Isn’t there?”
>Squinting, you turn your gaze to the direction of the magical disturbance.
>Lo and behold, on a tiny, sparkling silver dish sits a hunk of greasy yellow butter.
>Yeah, real nice, Celestia.
>Go ahead and use all the magic in the world.
>She’s taunting you. She knows it.
>You smirk and reach out, taking the stick of butter into your hand, and slowly pass it over to her.
“Here you go.”
>She looks from the butter to your hand and back several times.
“There something wrong?”
>”Not at all,” she says in her usual soothing tone and proceeds to slice a bit off onto her biscuit. “I sometimes forget you fingered races like to eat with your hands.”

>>29842856


And that will do it for tonight's update. Sorry this one took a while and if I can't update tomorrow, then allow me to apologize in advance for that one also taking a while. I do write when I can so it's not like I'm avoiding you guys. I appreciate that nobody has crucified me yet and even moreso that people are still enjoying the green. As always for a new thread, let me end this post with a fully updated pastebin for anybody who wants to reread the story or any new dear readers who want to catch up on what they've missed https://pastebin.com/5ECNnjxF

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>implying there could ever be anything wrong with black magic

Sanity is overrated, let anon live out his power trip in peace.

>>29842876
And when his power trip results in the death of ponies or destruction of land? What then? Celestia only wants to protect her people.

>>29842861
I really fucking hate this version of Celestia.

>>29843080
I like her. I think she's really nice.

>>29843096
She's condescending as fuck.

>>29843104
She was told some stupid monkey started covering himself in runes after assaulting her favorite student and a bunch of guards. Then she cleaned him, brought him back to life, clothed him, gave him the nicest room in the castle, let him eat dinner with the nobles, sit in the princess chair, give him a team of guards to be his friends, invited him to tea, and now offers to help him learn about himself. All the while he's being an insufferable prick and practically spitting in her face. Sure she's condescending and she obviously wants him dead, but she's so nice too.

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>>29832959
>implying if i went to equestria i d want to do magic
>implying i m not magic-proof
>implying thats doesnt make me a god in a way,considering that mostly everything in this world has some magic in it
>implying i cant literally just dissipate the magic from you with a touch

>>29843115
Guards are more of a pricks that friend candidates. We could see how two of them interact with Anon and it's fifty-fifty. I agree she could throw him into dungeon, but I still recall a part where she mentioned he is alive only because of Twilight. Twilight, say, who made him feel bad about himself and try all this inane shit in the first place. I for example wouldn't in the slightest to be treated like a glass figurine, a weakling being looked down upon. I honestly look up to Celly explaining Anon why the runes are evil, because for now he just get shat on for breaking a law he had little idea about.

>>29842841
What I'm wondering is what the heck is the deal with this "twinkling mail"? The name sounds like shining armor but the guard told him that was his name.
If the graymane is blackmane theory is correct I wouldn't be surprised at all if this is him again.

What is your master plan sea urchin? how much more of this story is left?

>>29843315
Twinkling Mail is, IIRC, the retard guard who stabbed the ice and killed anon in the first place. No idea what's going on with him now, but it likely has something to do with who/whatever has been sending the monsters.

>>29843467
Well, thanks for clearing that up. I guess I'll have to put my retarded theories away for a while.

>>29843128
Oh aren't you just the special snowflake.

>>29842861
Thank you Urchin-senpai

It's not over yet.

>>29843434
Well let me put it this way. We're nearing the final act.

>>29844259
While I'll be sad to see it end, at least that means you probably won't abandon us before you finish. Thanks Urchin.

>>29842524
And when the moment passes she'll see that Anon was lazy and said her mom died because he didn't feel like searching more. Saying her mom is definitely dead was a horrible idea you moron

>>29844963
More or less this. He could of just said he couldn't find her mother + their house was destroyed so he assumed the worst and decided to go back and help her (guard-pony) live.

>>29843467
>>29843315
Eyyy nice observation, Twinkling Mail does match the description of a remote-controlled golem

Shadymane got angry that the guard caused the near-death and arrest of his star puppet and decided to incorporate him into the escape plan as revenge?

>>29845590
It really makes you question just how much of Anon's life is being manipulated behind the scenes at this point.

>>29844259
Then it'll take a lot of talent for it not to be an underwhelming one. I really don't see many ways it could end in the next few updates without everything being rushed or poorly handled, or involving some sort of deus ex machina. The entire story has been a huge buildup to something we still don't know, and there are still many open plotlines to resolve.
But then again, considering the lenght of the story so far, the final act could be long enough to wrap up everything perfectly, and I would be worrying for nothing.

>>29845976
Unless next update Celestia reveals she uses Runes to control the sun/etc and then mindfucks him to be a good boy.

>>29843115
>She was told some stupid monkey started covering himself in runes after assaulting
>after assaulting
>assaulting
No, they assaulted HIM. He attempted to leave peacefully and they attacked him, finally murdering him as he hid, waiting for a chance to escape. If she did him a service in resurrecting him it is balanced by the fact that he was murdered by ponies who were following a law she put in place.

>>29846219
Illegal or not, you'd think she would've been a bit more cordial after he saved the entire town; something all six elements couldn't accomplish

>>29845976
Final act is nearing =/= next few updates end the story

>>29846239
She has a story from the ponies and is acting upon it. He is acting like a petulant child with atomic fingers and hasn't yet given her his side of the story and the part he has given, he has stamped up and down while being 'sarcastic', giving her reason to think he is exaggerating because he is so twisted.
If he calmly told her his story without chimping out because he was set off by something triggering his traumas from last week, she might act differently.
What information is available to Princess Celestia? How does that make Anon look different from having Sombra or some other villain captured/captured early on?

>>29846548
That's understandable. They all just seem to act shitty and oblivious to anything that doesn't suit their view of things

>>29846983
Just like real life

>>29847099
Totally. I appreciate the realism but it feels more than average here. Great story nonetheless

>>29847124
I don't think you could ever be too realistic as long as the story is interesting and entertaining.

Where is da bullet?

>>29848181
Someone bit him

bumph

Howcome these threads have been so slow recently?

>>29849053
They're slow when the writefags aren't posting.

>>29848969

>>29791283
>It's been a week since the archaeology extravaganza
>And not terribly much has been happening around Ponyville in the interim
>Twilight considered the little outing from before a semi-successful 'lesson'
>Must be the ear scratch you gave her on the way back
>There's only so much you can do with a deck of cards and the pony version of the game of life
>Though sneaking the books and chest out after arriving back was not very fun
>That box was heavy as shit, and you're afraid to put those super books anywhere near anything magical
>Yeah, putting those on the Friendship Map™ would probably summon fucking Tzeentch or something
>You make do with a hollowed tree that you're pretty sure only you know about
>You take most of the week's time to re-read the shit out of that zebra language book, much to Twilight's chagrin
>Seriously, why is the princess of books not enthused with your love of a particular book?
>Well, 'love' is a bit of a subjective term here
>You would have moved on to the Scarabspeak book long before, but you were hyped as fuck for finally reading those magic books
>And luckily, you'd have a private place to do it in, too
>Since today was the grand opening of your newly built house

>>29850229
>See, there's a reason you were shacked up in Twilight's castle for the longest time
>Normal pony buildings had the proportions of fucking hobbit holes
>And braining yourself constantly wasn't your idea of fun
>So you saved up your dosh and commissioned a human-proportioned house to be built
>Twilight wanted to pay for it initially, but you shot that down real quick
>You're a strong, independent human who don't need no mare
>That, and she's done enough for you, what with keeping you sheltered and what not
>Let it never be said that you were a total leech
>Just leech-kin
>...
>A knock on your door draws your attention from your book
>"Anon? You in there?"
>The voice belongs to Spike
"Yeah, what's up? Dinner already?"
>"Actually, Twilight wanted to see you."
>Huh, that's new
"All right, I'll be out in a second."
>You close the book and stretch out, then make for the door
>Spike was waiting outside the door for you
>Funny, he usually just goes ahead
>Your gut tells you that there's shenanigans afoot

>>29850235
>The two of you walk to the castle's exit
>Which strikes you as odd, seeing as Twilight is way more of an indoors pony
>...
>A suspicion takes root
>One that is corroborated by years of seeing this same set-up occur over again
>Spike begins opening the doors ahead of you
>Now, if your suspicion was correct, there should be--
>"SURPRISE!!"
>Clouds of confetti and streamers explode out from the door
>And on the other side were the usual suspects; all the girls donning little party hats
>And a big banner above them reading "Happy Housewarming, Anon!"
>Yep, just as you thought
>They were throwing a party for this occasion
>Didn't stop the sudden confetti swarm from getting you to jump a bit
>It also didn't stop this from looking comfy as all fuck
>Man, they were looking mighty happy to see you
>And that shit was hella contagious
>tfw these lil' ass pones give you the warm n' fuzzies
>Twilight was the first to walk up to you
>"Happy housewarming, Anon!"
"A-aw shucks, thanks you guys. You didn't have to do all this for me, you know."
>"Oh, don't be silly, Anon! None of us would want to miss this, especially not where our best friends are concerned!"

>>29850239
>This horse just called her one of your besties
>Be still my beating heart
>I SAID BE STILL YOU FUCKIN--
>HNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGH
>Twilight takes your loss of words as a good sign
>"Heheh, all right mister. Let's get going, shall we? Housewarmings are supposed to be held in, you know, the house."
>No argument here
"All right, let's roll. I'm really itching to see how it looks!"
>So your motley group set off in the general direction of your new homestead
>A bit out of the way, close to the edge of town, only a klick or two away from the Everfree
>Usually the lots there weren't well-regarded because of the Everfree
>But you were of the "yolo" persuasion
>Provided the worst you got was timberwolves and cockatrices
>Which don't do shit to you at all
>Except those manticores
>You can't cheese those things with muh magic resist
>Literally Hitler, the lot of them
>But enough about creatures, there's pones to make the chatter with!

>>29850246
>So that's what you did on the walk there
>It's been a while since you've chatted with these gals, so might as well play catch-up
>In hindsight, it probably wasn't wise to start with Rarity
>She gave you some serious hell for the less-than-optimal condition your clothing was in
>Seriously, she was worse on you about your wardrobe than Twiggles was about your book hermit tendencies
>She naturally insisted on crafting a new set for you
>Which meant more measurements
>Very intrusive, very naked measurements
>save me from the nothing i've become
>You tried to stop there, but she was ever persistent
>"So, darling, what precisely is it that you put all of your time into? Because I certainly don't see you at all hours of the day at the spa."
"What I'm up to? Well, uh, reading."
>"Reading?"
"Yeah."
>"Well, reading what precisely, dear?"
"Actually, I've been reading a ton on old languages."
>"Old languages? Well, I've... certainly heard stranger subjects. But, forgive me for saying so, but you don't really seem the--"
"Type to like that? Yeah, I thought so too. But it's a lot more interesting than you'd think."

>>29850254
>"Is that so? Oh, do tell, darling."
"Did you know that the old Saddle Arabian language was actually written backwards from every other language out there?"
>"It is?"
"Yeah. And it's pretty much drawn in continuous squiggly lines, and doesn't really have an alphabet as we see it. Too bad it really emphasises the throat when trying to speak it."
>"Hm, yes, I could see that being somewhat of a drawback..."
>She seems to be losing some interest in the subject
>Just as she was about to speak again, Twilight interrupted
>"Look everypony, we're here!"
>And standing tall and proud, about twenty meters off, was your new house
>Holy shit this looks even cooler than you thought it would
>When you first consulted with the builders, you couldn't decide between a brick or log design
>Looks like they decided to mash the two together
>The place was made out of brick, but it also had these big honking logs placed like support columns, embedded in the walls
>The windows and doors were also accented with some smaller... actually, did they even qualify as logs, or just really thick sticks?
>Either way, it actually worked out really well
>And most importantly, they were all the correct fucking height
>You ain't having none of that hobbit hole proportioning bullshit in your fucking crib, no siree

>>29850260
>None of you waste any time in filing into the house
>And you haven't brained yourself upon entry
>Halle-fucking-lujah
>Entering the place, you can see the decorating they did for the housewarming
>But you could also see the furnishment
>And it was all human sized
>This was awesome
>Like, super fucking awesome
>Of course, Pinkie wasted no time in getting the party underway, if the confetti explosions were anything to go by
>And throw a little party is exactly what happened
>You only wish there was actual alcohol involved
>The ponies DID have alcohol, but it was the weakest shit you'd ever had in your life
>Must be their inferior herbivore prey animal livers
>Truly, the meat eaters were the master race
>IF YOU FUCKING HAD ANY TO EAT
>Okay, you've got to figure out how to make moonshine or some shit
>Because you at least wanted to get even a little tipsy in your life here
>Or fuck, maybe 'ckya blyat rush b' it and brew some fuckin vodka
>And make all the slav jokes that only you can get
>...
>Fucking hell you need those drinks

>>29850269
>The party itself happened without much incident
>Everyone had a good time, ate well, and got down with the music Pinkie brought
>Good shit all around
>It also helped that you actually managed to talk to the girls in god-knows how long
>AJ and Dash were going to head out to the bars later tomorrow, and invited you to tag along
>It didn't grab your attention that much, given the liquor situation
>Until of course they mentioned that this new place they found served import drinks
>That meant minotaur and gryphon shit
>Damn right you're giving that shit a whirl
>So you're definitely coming along for that
>Pinkie would have come along as well, were it not for foalsitting duty
>So instead she settled with unveiling a pack of sweetrolls for your future consumption
>Hell, you'll take it
>Anything she makes is basically like oral sex in baked form
>Fluttershy thought it was a good idea for you to have a pet around here
>And invited you a couple of days from now to see if you wanted one from her place
>Yeah, that doesn't sound half bad
>Rarity of course wanted those measurements yesterday
>But she settled with three days from now

>>29850273
>As for Twilight, she of course wanted to help flesh out the bookshelves here
>With the addendum that they couldn't be all language books
>What is with this horse and her hate of language books
>Did a language book kill her fucking pet gerbil or something?
>Well whatever
>That would come last, right after Rarity takes those measurements
>So at least the torture would have a silver lining to it
>Alas, the day was drawing to a close, and the girls decided to head out as a unit
>Many farewells and courtesy hugs later, particularly from Twilight and Pinkie, and you were left alone
>Now, you can start by exploring this place in all its propriety
>Let's see...
>This place had a big living room that connected to most of the other rooms
>The kitchen had no walls between it and the living room, and neither did the short entrance hall
>The fairly spacious garden was connected via a glass sliding door, and was fenced off very well
>That left only the study, bedroom, and bathroom, all connected via regular ass doors
>The bedroom had a queen-sized bed in it
>Fucking ace
>And the study was as good as you thought it would be
>Decked out in bookshelves, and with a spacious desk

>>29850279
>Now, if the builders implemented your 'special feature', there should be...
>Ah, here we are, a little lever hidden in the neck of the lantern above the desk
>Pull that, and...
>Yeaaaa boiiiii
>A section of floor flipped up, revealing a trapdoor
>Opening that revealed a little brick cellar with a tile floor
>Within that was custom-built wooden things that the ponies didn't know about
>But you knew them better as wine bottle holders
>Hey, you were serious about getting that booze flowing
>And you didn't want those ponies fucking killing themselves on some real liquor, hence the secret passage
>Man, little did you know that this would be the perfect place to stash your forbidden book collection
>Totally didn't plan on that, but you were happy you had this either way
>Now, to bring back the books themselves
>You leave the cellar and close the doorways behind it
>AJ left one of her wheelbarrows here by mistake
>Works for you, since that would make lugging the bottomless box a super simple deal
>Taking the wheelbarrow, you beeline it to your hidden tree stash, which was a good distance away

>>29850285
>Good, nobody touched your mad swag
>You load the chest into the wheelbarrow, and hold the fucking eldritch books in your other hand
>Thus began your trip back
>Man, SO much easier with a wheelbarrow at your disposal
>You'll have to indirectly thank AJ for that later
>You're back at your crib in no time, and lug the chest and super books into the study
>You're not tracking dirt from the wheelbarrow in your new place, thank you very much
>Now came the tricky part of getting that heavy ass chest down the ladder
>It took a lot of fumblefucking on your part, but you managed to get it down the ladder
>And off into the corner it goes
>You'll have to devise another hidden area for this stuff later
>But for now, this would do
>Next came the magic books
>You didn't want to be interrupted during your reading, so you descend into the basement and close the doors behind you
>You thought ahead on this, and had a second lever in the cellar to close it off up top
>And just like that, you were alone
>All alone with these books
>Jesus tapdancing christ on tour in Mongolia, you were HYPED as all fuck for this shit

>>29850290
>You didn't even care that there wasn't any chairs down here
>The floor was more than sufficient for this
>You unravel the rope binds on the stack and lay them out on the floor
>Now that you had some time to read the covers, you could figure out what the fuck these were supposed to be
>...
>Okay, so...
>We have `Crimson Incantations: A Complete Guide on Dark Magic`, by Elder Zharrdan
>Ohhhkay then, not reading that
>...Yet
>Next up is `Occult Alchemy`, by Strong Tonic
>Okay, less overtly evil than the one before, but the 'occult' part isn't a good vibe so far
>The next book was the most interesting of the bunch
>The covers were bordered with tiny little glyphs in gold, with a small constellation of actual gems in the middle of the front cover
>`Lexica Thaumaturgia: Magic For The Masses`
>There was no author, but there was an empty 'owned by' line at the bottom
>Just by looking at the cover, this looked easily like it was the book responsible for wrecking that bottomless box from before
>But 'magic for the masses' didn't strike you as an evil book
>The other two, sure, you'd grant that
>But this seemed pretty innocuous compared to those other two
>Shrugging, you pick it up and crack it open, preparing to read the contents

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>>29850297
Whew, finally got some done.
Lack of time and minor writer's block makes HK a dull droid.
So I made the update extra chunky for you guys.

Pastebin's in the OP, all updated and ready.

NOW GIVE ME (YOU)'S FOR APPROVAL

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>>29850307
I don't have any (You)'s for trade but take my obscure vidya memes.

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>>29850297
HK update, YES!

>>29850338
fish can roll!

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>>29850307
Thanks for waiting and posting a meatier update. I prefer it to the 3 posts-long daily thread bumpers.

>>29850403
>tfw vlamborino have abondoned the game

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>>29836969

Oh my
Arguments about my story
Now now anons green only comes to good readers and not trolls trying to troll
>>29842524
I'm looking at you

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>>29844963
>>29845210
maybe maybe not who knows
I don't;) [spoilers]
Tune in tonite at 6:30 pm eastern to fine out
also update schedule 11am-6:30pm

>>29850307
I need more, mang

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>>29850722
>when you forget your name and reply to posts
Kill me niw

>>29850748
Well maybe I'll stick around for that, then

>>29850767
I knew who you were by what you said, no worries

>>29850307
here's your (you) now gib moar

>>29836969

>You wake up look into the sky
>The sun is up
>No black hole or anything
>Guess you hallucinated from seeing all the death and destruction
>You always read about disasters and were able to joke about them but you never were in one
>Or maybe that coin is cooking your brain
>Like uranium or some shit
>Yeesh
>Yeah you're not gonna have it on you when you sleep
>No sleep magic for you
>No sir
>...
>You turn to look at sky
>Sky is still sleeping and the sun is beating down
>The country is blazing like holy fuck
>You lie back down
>And take the coin out but put it close enough to grab at a moments notice
...
>"Anon..anon wake up"
>you open your eyes
"Hmm?"
>"Anon come on we need to get to Appaloosa"
>You're not even going to try with the pony names anymore

(ouY)
؜>>29850307

>>29851595
Oh

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>>29850307
I absolutely hate (You).
I wish I could rape (You) to death.

>>29850307
I give you a (You) for a good, delicious green, my good man.

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>>29850307

>>29850994
>Both you and sky walk for hours in the blazing heat
>You can see the air moving weird in the distance like you did in the summer
>When it looks like there's water but there isn't
>Can't remember what that was called
>Anyway
...
>Its near sunset and way off in the distance you see what seems to be a town
>That must be Appaloosa
>It looks like a dusty old town back from the civil war
>or a Clint Eastwood movie
>When you walk into town two ponies run up to sky
>"SKY oh thank celestia you're ok we don't know what we would do without you" they both exclaim
>They are ...horned ponies one with a dark blue coat with grey-blue eyes,the other red with blood red eyes
>Talk about edgy
>Why do they have horns??
>Oh wait unicorns
>You forgot about unicorns
>mmmm...
>To be honest if you need to take over the world you would have to do something to totally fuck over the ponies
>But what?
>"Oh my what is that?!" Says unicorn one
>"It looks so big!" Says unicorn two
>Well now you would take the guy who wanted to take over the world "with" you and
>"Did you see the destruction in los Pegasus?"
>"Did your mom make it out?"
>At this point you're barely listening to her and her friends talk
>For what seems like hours you stand out in the hot sun
>So apparently there are these pone princesses that control every thing from love to the sun and moon
>And the one that you saw when you woke up was the strongest
>You'll see about that
>After you train yourself

>>29842856

>Nothing much very important happened after that.
>That is to say, after you snuck another knife up your sleeve, you were escorted back to your room where you sat for the rest of the day.
>Once you were sure nobody was around, you went over to your wardrobe and pulled it out, revealing the back.
>With the knife, you pulled at the gold trim until there was enough of an open space that it could hold things.
>After sliding the knife into that new slot, you pressed hard and closed the malleable metal around it, sealing the knife in.
>Heaving and hoeing, you shoved the closet back against the wall and took a few steps back to examine your work.
>The knife wasn’t visible from any angle unless you were snugged up against the wall looking right down at it.
>For that matter, the wardrobe didn’t look out of place unless looking at it from that same direction.
>There’s not much else to do throughout the day so you settle on grabbing the stool and sitting yourself down in the middle of your room.
>There’s optimal shade and warmth here, so you can read in peace.
>Where were you?
>Locating the dogear, you pry open the book and give a content sigh as you find your paragraph.
“Right, the mysterious benefactor.”
>The sun inches by in the sky, slowly but surely robbing your room of its light, forcing you to move closer to the windows to be able to read your book.
>You’re almost done with it by the time you have to get up and light a candle.
>Of course, once you do, you’re interrupted by a familiar click click clicking in the floor.
>Your attention turns to the door as it flips open.
>Unicorn with a dull blue mane sits there, glaring at you.
>His horn is sparkling dimly, as if the magic itself was tired coming from him.
>”Time for dinner.”
“Hey,” you point at him. “You’re Twinkling Mail, aren’t you?”

>>29852984

>He doesn’t respond and instead slinks down into the dark hole.
>Licking your fingers, you snuff out the newly lit flame on the candle and follow him.

>You follow him down the stairs and try to piece together the events at the cabin in your head.
>Everything is mostly a blur, but there are a few key moments you can pull out of it all even now.
>One part that particularly stands out is all your hard work being trampled and torn up.
>The other is a muffled conversation leading up to pure blackness.
>In that conversation, you know that the order was given to leave and search the forest for you.
>That made you happy.
>Then, instead, some joke of a guard decided he wanted to not do that and, well, you know.
“So you’re a rebel, huh?”
>The only sound coming from him is the clippty clop of his hooves as he descends the never ending staircase.
“Don’t be absurd, Twinkling Mail. There’s nothing under that ice. Isn’t that what he said?”
>Your stallion guide stares on, refusing to even acknowledge you.
“Hey, how about some conversation here, neighbor? I think I’m owed at least that much,” you snap.
>”I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says flatly.
“Yes you fucking do.”
>You put some pep in your step and race down ahead of him enough so that when you turn around, you’re eye level.
“You killed me, you lazy-eyed fuck. You put a spear right in my back. Do you remember that? Huh?”
>”Nah, I’m gonna stab it.”
>Your fists ball up at your sides.
>If you pushed him hard enough, he would fall right down the center of this spiral.
>They’d find him in a bloody pile, splattered on the stone, his armor distorted beyond recognition.
>It’d be his just desserts. Hell, he’s a traitor in some right, isn’t he?
>Maybe you’d receive a medal for it.

>>29852989

>”Anonymous, that’s strike three. One more and you’re out of here,” is what Celestia would say.
>No, it’d probably be more like “Holy shit you killed a pony. End of the line, cock sucker,” except nicer because she’s still a princess.
>One moment of revenge isn’t worth it.
>No, not even for him.
>You smirk, looking up over his eyes.
“That’s a nice horn you’ve got there,” you say, pointing to the stark white appendage jutting out of his golden helm.
>”Nice horn you’ve got there.”
“It’d be a real shame if something happened to it.”
>”Real shame.”
>Not one moment, Twinkle Shitter.
>You’re going to have many, many beautiful moments together.
>Yeah, you can imagine it now.
>One horn is all you need, and he’s the perfect fucking candidate for it.
>You’ve read that severing a horn from a unicorn is one of the most painful experiences they can go through.
“Real shame indeed.”
>”Indeed.”
>You’d be worried he would tell Celestia you said that if he didn’t look like a fucking vegetable.
>Jesus, what kind of food do the give these guards?
>You twist, face the stairs going the right direction, and speed down them until reaching the bottom where a certain team of twelve ponies waits.
>”Where is Twinkling Mail,” asks the little grey one.
“The quiet guy? I asked him if I could go on ahead. He just mumbled something so I took it as a yes.”
>”Was it a high mumble or a low mumble?”
“It sounded sort of like when you climb out of bed and realize that it’s the weekend and you didn’t have to get up that early.”
>”That sounds like something he’d say.”
>”Alright, I guess we just wait for him.”
“That’s what friends would do.”

>>29852993

Short update tonight, I know. I just wanted to get this out because nothing came yesterday and I also didn't want to be the only writefag left out of today's update-a-thon. Don't small post humiliation me though, because I have a bigger package coming tomorrow, and when I say bigger, hoh boy. I mean a whole few posts more. We're talking high single digits, my dudes. Or maybe double depending on how the day works out. As a parting gift, take this fully updated pastebin https://pastebin.com/5ECNnjxF

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>>29853005
Good shit.

I wan't some opinions from you guys about my story.
Any criticism of my writing style?
Is it worth continuing?

>>29853527
I liked it, definitely worth continuing

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>>29853527
Stylistically, there's not much wrong with your wall-o-text.
Sentence structure is fine, as is the spelling and grammar.
You do need to work on transitioning from one speaker to another though, and there is a little more telling than showing.

The main problem I'm seeing though, is the same kind of problem I have to put a lot of work into trying to avoid.
And that problem is excessive amounts of build-up and establishment.

Remember, this is fanfiction: we the reader don't need an explainer about the world or the things in it, we already know.
Putting a little bit in is fine, but doing the whole nine yards of interaction is not necessary, and just makes the reader skim past it, effectively meaning you've wasted the effort.

As for your concepts about the functionality of magic and all that in your world, that's fine as well.
The problem with that is that it's delivered as a huge wall of exposition, particularly that "life magic" part.
Exposition dumps like that just overload the person reading it, and as you could imagine, discourage the reading.
Again, effort wasted.

The biggest problem, however, that both of these contribute to, is taking away text and time that could be spent around the core central theme: in this case, "magicless anon".
That should be where the bulk of the effort that I mentioned was wasted before could otherwise be spent.

In short, I know that it's tempting to do Crysis-levels of detail for the world you're trying to build, but laser-focusing on the central theme would be a much better usage of your time and words.

>>29853527
I'm enjoying it. Keep on truckin', dude

>>29853718
Damn, thats given me quite a bit to think about
>transitioning from one speaker to another
mind elaborating some on that?
>too much telling vs showing
something I probably do need to consider more when writing
>excessive amounts of build-up and establishment.
I do try to avoid that, seems I don't know when enough is enough. I've seen a lot of it in my recent rough drafts, I literally ended up deleting a page's worth of writing
>chrysalis
just my autism bleeding through by going off track like that. At least If I start a new story I wouldn't make that same mistake

It's been a learning experience regardless. Might just go through my story and make a few thousand changes

>>29832959
Okay, question. The idea of ponies treating Anon differently because he doesn't have magic is interesting and I want to contribute. What's the general lay-down in this thread? Like...

>Anon goes out to prove them wrong using his human ingenuity and improves some lives and things are happy and cheerful
>Anon makes a big production of showing that he can function perfectly well without magic, showing off in a slightly less good-natured way that demonstrates he can perform as well as any other pony using his own methods/unique viewpoints
>Anon goes full teenage edgy retard and does something like join the writer's favourite villain and start cold-heartedly torturing ponies and being a bastard becomes one of his friends said something mean to him, acting out the fantasies of the writers who only wish they could be anything more than a fat, stuttering wreck in real life. Pssh...nothing personal, kid

There's a shittonne of stories to read and I want to dive in, but I gotta know what I'm getting into.

>>29854013
Just read 'Obsession', it's one of the best in the genre

Also yes, you're pretty much spot on, although not all fics become as edgy as you described

>>29854013
>Anon can safely handle materials that have adverse effects on magic/abnormal magical properties
>uses poison joke to bully ponies that talk down to him
>only guy safe when magic plague rolls into town
>hides little nuggets of iron/silver in objects around friendship castle
>Twilight cant get books off the higher shelves anymore
>can't be seen with magic based vision, can't be spied on & ghosts n shit just pass on by

>>29854172
I'll keep an eye out, then.

>>29854197
Excellent, this thread sounds like a lot of fun!

>>29854013
sf here. I mean for each of those meme arrows to be describing examples of different scenarios that one might encounter in this thread, not the progression of one plot from innocent and happy to crawling in my skin.

>>29854212
i didn't mean to link sorry I was throwing out a prompt, theres none of that so far in the thread

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>>29854013
List of story's to read(my opinion)

"Obsession"#1:sea urchin
"Magicless anon"#2 :HK
And msgs story
But don't read mine
I suck

>>29854343
>I suck

You really don't. I'd rate 6.5/10 with tonnes of potential to improve. I enjoyed your green a fair bit, certainly more than most on /mlp/

>>29852903
>Somehow you end up in a bar while skyline talks to her friends
>The alcohol here really isn't alcohol
>like light beer,watered down and warmed
>So you end up drinking hard liquor
>Itburns.png
>...
>You practice your telekinesis on a glass in the distance
>It shakes and falls over
>You put in a little more effort and the glass lifts up successfully
>yuss
>But holy shit is it hard to keep it up
> Kinda like training a new muscle
>If /fit/taught you anything
>Man this is hard
>You let go of the glass ad it slips out of your magical grip
>Then falls a small distance before rolling off the table and shattering into a thousand peices
>One of the bar staff just sighs and makes his way to the broken glass
>Wow you really need to Git gud
>And the only way to do that is to train
>You sigh mentally and nurse your liquor and sit down again
>But you will have your revenge
>For running naked through the streets of pony-ville

>>29833687
http://www.sickchirpse.com/florida-man-caught-sex-alligator/

>>29853018
Stay based sea-nigger.

>>29850690
The games finished lad, they don't really have anything else to add.

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>>29853871
>elaborate on transitions
Sure. When the speaker changes, you'd preface it with "You are Anon", or "You're now Twilight", or something to that effect.
I'm a fan of the way Urchin does his focus changing, but you can do whatever suits you.
Try not to change focus too often, though. It can be a bit jarring having each block of text be a different perspective.
>Literally end up deleting a page worth of writing
If you write that much out, you don't necessarily need to delete it all. You could open up a separate document, read the first version, and compress it down from there.
Unless you have a better way of doing it, then hey, go for it.
>autism bleeding through
I know this pain well, trust me. I mentioned last thread the kind of shit I used to do.
>It's been a learning experience regardless
Likewise, it's always a process.
There was a Writefags' Guild thread around before it got archived, where you could get some guides and feedback. If you're super serial about getting your stuff right, maybe lurk around for it's remake, then ask them?

I really like how Sea Urchin deals with feedback.
Everyone was bitching about retarded characters, and now Anon is making elaborate plans for the future.
Everyone was bitching about not knowing why runes are evil, and now Anon asks exactly that question.
Everyone was bitching about ice-stabbing guard, and now it has some kind of explanation (said guard was a rebel).

Sea Urchin doesn't argue with criticism he gets - he just learns from it and applies it. It's a very professional attitude.

>>29855687
I have a feeling all that was planned from the beginning, honestly.

>>29855687
>Sea Urchin doesn't argue with criticism he gets - he just learns from it and applies it. It's a very professional attitude.
There is still one thing left, I bet Sea Urchin doesn't want to go down on me. I shall criticise him on that, until he takes me on a dinner.

>>29855736
I know, right. What a massive faggot.

>>29855687
>Doesn't argue with criticism
No shit, anyone who isn't an idiot and looking to improve should put their pride in their back pocket when given good (that's the important part) criticism.

>>29855814
>when given good (that's the important part) criticism.
No, that part isn't important at all.
Good writer will realize, that even a shitty critique can have some truth in it. Ignoring comments simply because they're not "good enough" is stupid.

bamp

>>29856922
Bump

I do believe we're nearing the time of updates.
There better be fuckin updates

>>29858061
By the usual urchin update clock, were still at least 6 hours away

Don't you archive on me, thread

>putting the spell runes on his body

Anon should have only put the most important ones on his person, the rest should have been incorporated on some dank wizard robes.

More room for runes (inside the fabric) and it's more discreet.

>>29858593
Doing this also would have saved him from the damaging effects of the magic on his body (assuming Celestia wasn't just asspulling). There's probably even some sort of magic fabric to increase the power of the spells and the robe's magic well aswell.

>>29858614
And how was he supposed to know that magic would end up tearing apart his insides?

>>29858709
Well I mean, if you're doing black magic on your own soul it's probably safe to assume your fucking up the fung shuei of your body.

>>29858819
Well, who ever said runes had to fuck up your soul?

>>29859295
Wait, no, disregard that. I just remembered that was the reason he put his soul in a picture for

>>29852993

>So you waited and waited and eventually he came meandering down the stairs at his snail's pace.
>How a man like that is still a guard eludes you.
>One would figure being unable to move faster than two and a half miles per hour would be instant expulsion, but whatever. Maybe ponies are different.
>Perhaps it’s their idea of “friendship” that makes them keep such useless ponies around.
>You scoff and make your way to the middle of the herd so as to be properly escorted to dinner.
“Gosh, I feel so safe surrounded by all of you. I mean, I know half of you want to kill me, but so far the only one who has been successful is a vegetable so I think my odds are pretty good.”
>”He’s not a vegetable, he’s a pony.”
>”Yeah. Jeez, Anon. He’s a pony.”
“I get it.”
>”Does he look like a carrot?”
“I said I get it.”
>”Get with the program, man.”
“Guys.”
>Your walk to the dining hall was similarly painful the whole way through.
>By the time you arrive, your breaths are cycling rather quickly and your face feels hot.
>At your side, your fingers twitch uncontrollably.
>You stuff your hands in your pockets and head over to your own little blue chair, ready to dig in.
>What you’re met with is not a nice, empty blue seat.
>Instead, it’s a pony just a little bigger than Twilight with a coat matching the chair and a mane that totally copies Celestia’s.
“Princess Luna,” you say in mock shock.
>”Ah, Anonymous,” she graces you with her stare.
>What, you can’t move your whole head?
>Out of the corner of her eyes, she examines you head to toe.
>Seemingly satisfied, she flashes a curt smile.

>>29860120

>”We hath heard many stories of thee, young one.”
“Young one?”
>”To say thou art not the monster we hath envisioned would be a compliment. Thy true form is quite underwhelming.”
“Thank you?”
>Oh God, you can feel your beard greying as you speak to her.
“Um, Celestia, where’s my seat?”
>The sun princess’ gaze falls on you, claiming you for herself.
>Once they understand whose jurisdiction you fall under, your entourage disperses to their own corners of the enormous table, lost amongst the nobles and peasants.
>”Why, you sit next to me tonight.”
>You squint and pan your eyes to each side of her.
>On the right is Luna, and on the left is none other than--
>”Anon!”
“Twilight.”
>”Wow, it’s been so long!”
>Well, that settles it.
>Brushing past Luna without so much as glancing at her, you take your seat on Celestia’s right in a small wooden chair identical to all the other ones around the table.
>”Ah ah, you get the left.”
“The left?”
>”The left.”
>You lean forward, looking past the behemoth princess.
>Twilight sits in her chair, wearing a dumb little smile that turns your stomach.
>She’s going to want to talk.

>>29860128

>You grimace and lean back, protecting yourself with Celestia’s figure.
>With you hidden behind the white horse, Twilight can’t possibly see you.
>”Anon, what’s the issue?” she asks.
>Standing up, you move your mouth close to her ear and rest a hand on her hoof.
“Celestia, please, if ever there were a time to hear a request of mine, let it be now. Don’t make me sit next to her.”
>Celestia’s all-knowing eyes are focused in the distance.
>Did she hear you?
>No, she heard you. She just wants to humiliate you.
>Are you really about to get on your knees and beg?
>You don’t want to stoop that low, but hell, being next to Twilight is bound to end in another strike for you.
>That would be the end game.
>Alright, it’s time to swallow your pride.
>You close your eyes tight and begin to kneel.
>Before you’re fully bent, Celestia stops you, placing her hoof on your chest.
>When you open your eyes, hers have turned to you.
>She lowers her face to about the same distance you were apart just earlier.
>”Last night wasn’t you being purposefully malicious. There’s an issue between you two.”
>You nod in affirmation.
>”I see,” she says and returns to normal seating.
>She smiles at Twilight and shakes her head gently, bringing great sadness to the friendship princess’ face.
>”I’m sorry, dear Twilight, but I think I’d rather have Anonymous on my right tonight. You know, for safety’s sake.”

>>29860138

>”Oh, I see. As you wish, Celestia,” says Twilight, hanging her head.
>Yeah, eat shit, you dumb purple bitch.
>As you wish, Celestia.
>What a joke.
>”Lo, wherefore art thou resigning young Anonymous to our company? Where it not decided Twilight shalt enjoy him?”
“What? Sad you get to spend dinner with little ole’ me? Think of it as a bonding experience.”
>”That’s right, Luna. You haven’t met Anon before, have you? Consider this your introductory dinner. It really is too bad your little stallion couldn’t come tonight.”
>The night princess shoots Celestia a nasty look.
>”Oh well, I suppose you’ll just have to eat with the rest of us lowly ponies.”
>”Always the jester, dear sister.”
>”You know me well.”
>Oh boy. Maybe Twilight was a safer bet.
>After thinking that over for about half a second, you decide that no matter how bad things get over here, you’re still better off.
>A true grin spreads across your face as you seat yourself and prepare your plate.
>Some of that bread looks nice.
>Ooh, you’re digging the look of that apple over there.
>You reach your hand out, but Celestia’s magical power redirects it to your lap.
>”Your dinner will be out shortly.”
>She stands up on all four and breathes in deeply.
>With full lungs, she belts out so that the whole hall can hear her.
>”Once again, I’d like to thank you all for coming to join me and mine for dinner tonight. It truly does warm my heart to see ponies from all walks of life coming together and enjoying and evening together. The castle’s cooks have worked very hard to make tonight’s meal special, so please, enjoy yourselves, my little ponies.”
>The crowd shouts something unintelligible and proceeds to eat as Celestia takes her seat.

>>29860145

>You stare dejectedly at the barren plate before you.
>Well why the fuck is it even here then? Just to taunt you?
>Huffing, you push it away and cross your arms.
>”Oh, don’t be like that. They chefs will bring it out soon. It was a last minute request on my part, so they’re scrambling.”
>Oh, so she wanted you to eat alone like some loser?
>That makes sense.
>Luna tries to talk to you about something while you wait.
>She stuffs her face at the same time, so even if you were listening, you wouldn’t be able to make out what she’s saying.
“Uh huh, yeah,” is all you can say.
>Better make it look like you’re engaged. Wouldn’t want a strike, now would you?
>She swallows and finally begins to speak in whole sentences that flow in one ear and out the other.
>”And that was when we first stroked manes.”
“Yeah, that’s great.”
>”Praytell, Anonymous, who dost thou behold? Tis it a lady who beith the apple of thine eye, or dost thou lay in the bed of men?”
>Except for that one.
“Wait, excuse me?”
>”Ah, we understand. Worry not, young one, thy secret is safe with us.”
“No, go back a second. What did you say?”
>”Ayy, one espicey ordera comin’ uppa!”
>You whip around and glare at the stallion who snuck up behind you.
>This slick-haired faggot has the most handle-bariest mustache you’ve ever seen and hides his crooked smile behind it as he leans forward, placing a covered silver platter down in front of you.
>The scent of tomato sauce wafts into your nose as he reaches past you and lifts the dome up, revealing what you assume to be your meal at long last.

>>29860153

>The food revealed takes your breath away.
>You actually can’t breath right now.
>The utter shock you’re in has robbed your body of its ability to function.
>This is amazing.
>Your mouth begins to water as the fatty, meaty smell of fish slaps you in the face.
>There, right there in front of you, is a fully cooked salmon with a baked potato and a thick, sleazy brown gravy pouring out of its split innards.
>The meat, perfectly seasoned, calls to you.
>”Eat me,” it says. “Eat me like the dirty fish I am.”
>”Ayy, a godetevi il vostro cibo, stronzo.”
>Your hands rush for the meat, but you’re able to stop yourself long enough to look at Celestia.
>Maybe this is a test to see if you’re going to give into your omnivorous ways.
>She smiles and nods, giving you the green light.
>It’s at that time you notice that she has only just now begun to fill her plate with food.
>Welp, that’s her problem.
>You snatch up a your rationed fork and knife and slice off your first piece of meat.
>The fork slides right into it without much fuss.
>As it approaches, you have to fight the urge to throw the utensils away and just bury your fucking face right in there.
>Oh man, how long has it been since you had some meat?
>One month. No, two.
>When the waters froze over and you lost your supply of fish, that was three months ago.
>Into your mouth it goes.
>The taste is so amazing that the closest thing you can describe what you’re feeling to is a whole-body orgasm.
>Everything feels just right as you chew the salmon, shredding and grinding it to bits.
>You don’t want to swallow, but you have to.
>That’s ok though, because there’s a whole fish right there for you.
>Again and again, you pick at it until there’s nothing but bones left.

>>29860162

>Next up is that potato.
>You scoop up some of the mushy starch and shove it into your mouth.
>While you were devouring the fish, the potato had soaked up the gravy nicely.
>The flavors dance on your tongue.
>In your moment of bliss, you look over at Twilight who has for some amount of time unknown to you, been watching.
>Don’t say anything, Anon. She doesn’t deserve it.
>Actually, you have an idea.
>You put another forkful in your mouth and accent it with an exaggerated sigh and content smile stretching from ear to ear.
>Your happiness breaks her heart as she realizes it wasn’t caused by her.
“It’s so good,” you groan.
>”I’m glad you like it.”
>Celestia wipes her mouth and sets the napkin back down on her lap.
>With the fish gone, some semblance of reason returns to you.
“Why?” you ask after washing down your meal.
>”What do you mean?”
“Why did you request this? It seems odd.”
>”Well that’s a silly question. Look at your teeth. I can only assume those little canines aren’t for show. The fish did take awhile to get here, but we do have a nice supply now, so you don’t have to worry about starving.”
“Wow,” you mutter and look down at your knees. “That’s actually pretty nice of you.”
>”Thank you?”
>”Verily, dear sister. Thou art a saint,” mumbles Luna through hiccups and slurs.
>”Oh, gracious. Who gave her wine?”
>”It matters not, dear sister. We are a princess, and a princess shall drinks what a princess desires when she would have it so!”
>”Luna, go to your room before you embarrass yourself.”
>”We shall show you embarrassed!”
>”Please don’t.”

>>29860173

>And that was when you saw Luna escorted out of the room, wrestling six guards as she desperately clung to the tablecloth.
>Celestia very quickly thanked everyone for their time and asked them to leave.
>The ponies gathered their things and bolted pretty quickly after Celestia’s order, leaving only you, her, and Twilight.
>The sun princess, with nobody left to uphold her image in front of, lowered her head down to the table with a heavy smack.
>”I don’t know what to do about that mare sometimes.”
>Uh oh. Vulnerability.
>Do you exploit it?
>No, nurture it. Get on her good side.
>You extend a hand and gently stroke the spot of her back right between her wings.
“There, there,” you whisper. “Dinner is over. You don’t have to worry about her anymore.”
>Twilight, the little tramp, also makes her voice heard.
>”You two are sisters, Celestia. You have to get along.”
“Siblings don’t always see eye to eye.”
>”I’m sure whatever is troubling you two, you can get by it.”
“Some troubles are too great to overcome, no matter how hard you try. As long as you’ve done your best, that’s all that counts.”
>”With time, this will come to pass.”
“Twilight, I don’t think you’re being very supportive here.”
>”What do you mean? I’m giving her perfectly sound friendship advice.”
“She doesn’t need that. Can’t you see she’s hurting? Celestia needs to tailored advice of a friend, not the general advice of a teacher. Jeez.”
>”No, Anon. Twilight is right. She and I are sisters. This will come to pass. It may take longer than I have color in my mane, but she’ll see the light. Thank you for your concern, though.”
>Fucking trick, man. You almost had it in.
>At least she thought you were genuine.

That ends tonight's update. More will come not tomorrow, but possibly Saturday. Until then, enjoy the greens of the thread and don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe if you want to see more.

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>>29860192
Absolute legend you are. Cheers for the green

>>29855913
You might be taking the "good" part a bit too literally. Any critique outside of "it sucked" and nothing more is good critique. Reason being that the writer should always be scrutinizing their own work; a comment like that adds nothing new.

>>29852989
Is Twinkle mimicking him?

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>>29850307
So I was going to post my new dump of stuff today, but since Urchin already delivered, you lads can look forward to it tomorrow.
I swear I don't plan on syncing updates with him, it just kinda happens

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>>29860730
Or, drop that update now

Please?

>>29860192
Man, it's really getting hard to understand Celestia's character now; she's all over the place. That's not necessarily a bad thing though, since it makes her more interesting when she drops the façade and now I'm getting excited about this story again.

>>29860730
Great minds think alike?

Boop

Who needs magic when you have a gun?
Also, bumping.

>>29860730
Drop it today faggot, Urchin isn't updating until tomorrow

>>29863626
But what if these anons are all British?

>>29863739
Then they'd be stabbed

need more

>>29850297
>You weren't entirely sure what you expected to see when you opened this book
>You were expecting, in no particular order:
>A wall of boring text
>A picture book of spells
>A full-blown magic encyclopedia
>Cthulhu's diary, complete with tentacles
>A portal to Hermaeus Mora's hood, complete with tentacles
>Starswirl's porn collection, complete with tentacles
>What you instead got was a blank page
>And by blank, you mean the page was completely black
>Not in the sense of 'the endless abyss you gaze long into and it gazes back'
>More like someone had spilled their inkwell on it and finished the job with a brush or something
>There has to be more to this shit
>You flip the page
>The pages are black as well
>Is this author fucking with you right now?
>Another page turn
>Nothing
>Another
>Still nothing
>And another
>hello darkness my old friend
>And yet another
>i've come to talk with you again

>>29865388
>In a last-ditch effort, you just flip through all the fucking pages
>That's where things got fairly interesting
>The pages were flipping infinitely
>Like, you kept flipping, but it didn't seem to reduce the paper stack at all
>So the book is clearly magical
>Is this thing fucking with you?
>Do you think this is a fucking game, book
>You stop flipping individually and turn a huge chunk of pages at once
>The second the pages hit the opposite end, they seem to sink into the end, and grow the still-large stack at the other
>God fucking damn it
>This book has portal technology
>You try flipping the whole page stack
>Only to be met with the same result
>You swear you're at this for like five fucking minutes until you close the book again
>Jesus fucking christ, this is like that map from Harry Potter
>Only instead of insulting you, it fucking taunts you
>'yea u faget, fuckin teach u to read me, shitbyrd'
>Well fuck you too, book
>Wait
>Didn't the map thing from HP have a safe word or something?
>Idea formed and implemented
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
>Open the book

>>29865396
>Nothing
>Fuck
>Close the book
"By the power of Grayskull?"
>Open
>Nothing
>Close
"I am your father?"
>Nothing
"Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?"
>Nothing
"Baws pls gibe da pucci"
>Nothing
"Would you kindly give me your fucking knowledge?"
>Nothing, just anger now
"Can I have something to eat?!"
>You give me nothing at your own peril, book
"MY NAME IS CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER AND I WILL CURSE-YA-HAME-HAH YOUR BITCH ASS IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME YOUR SHIT!"
>The book was not swayed by the threat of autism
"OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE, LET ME READ YOU ALREADY YOU BITCH!"
>wowitsfuckingnothing.svg
"I WILL SHIT FURY AND YOU WILL DROWN IN IT, JUST LIKE IN THOSE JAPANESE ANIMES!"
>Your call was absorbed by the darkness

>>29865403
>Just as you were about to hurl another highly autistic expletive-laden serenade towards the book, another idea struck you
>Japanese animes
>You might not be strictly of the weeb persuasion
>But don't those crazy niggas read their books backwards?
>You swear to fucking Mrs. Claus, if this doesn't work--
>The page isn't blank
>What
>That worked?
>The page at the back isn't blank
>Well, it is, but it's not black, just regular parchment
>You turn another page super fast
>It seems blank too
>Fucking shit, not again
>You turn the pages quickly
>Nothing at all--
>Wait
>Hold up a second
>Was that little dot always there?
>You look closer
>Yeah, there's a fucking dot on the page
>You turn back a few steps to check
>Yep, there's definitely a dot
>You turn all the way to the back
>And sure enough, there it is

>>29865413
>But hold up
>The dot wasn't in the same place as it was where you first found it
>You check the subsequent pages
>Yeah, every page turn, the dot moves ever so slightly
>Why the fuck would it--
>Wait a minute
>Pages flipping with minute changes
>Holy shit
>This is a fucking animation
>You were looking at a prehistoric GIF here
>Maybe
>All right, now you were paying attention
>Starting at the 'beginning', you flip the pages at a steady pace
>The dot, sure enough, starts making a shape the more pages you flip
>But it doesn't leave a line
>Fucking typical
>The dot seems to form some kind of circle shape with shit in the middle
>But then the book ends
>Wait, the book ended
>Holy shit the book ended
>Fuck, does this trick even still work?
>Flipping back to the 'first' page confirms the dot in the same place
>Oh thank the holy God-Emperor
>Right, you were going to have to trace this shit out

>>29865424
>You stop upstairs to pick out some paper and a quill
>You didn't have much paper, and not a lot of ink
>You'd have to make this count
>You go over the animation multiple times
>It doesn't seem to change between re-flips of the book
>Thank fucking god for that
>Slowly but surely, you begin to draw out on the paper what the book is trying to draw with that little dot
>Luckily, it's not terribly detailed
>Though it does take multiple re-flips to ensure you got it right
>By what feels like the twentieth fucking time, you think you finally have it
>Time to review our work, class
>The thing you've drawn is a circle all right, but it's a weird spell circle looking thing
>Or wait, is it?
>More scrutiny is in order, cap'n
>...
>This isn't a magic circle at all
>It's fucking instructions
>It's crudely drawn, and says to draw a funny looking symbol on the inside of the front cover
>Considering that opening it the normal way nets you a black page, you're guessing it means drawing it on the 'end' cover
>Fucking god damn it why is this all so complicated

>>29865438
>All you wanted was to read some old forbidden tomes about crazy shit
>Not play fucking 5D hyper-icosidodecahedron strip Yu-Gi-Oh with a fucking book
>Well, whatever
>At this point, you didn't care if drawing that symbol would summon Pinhead to skullfuck you with a stick of DDR2
>You wanted your fucking book contents now, damn it
>Quick as a whip, you flip from the back to the front, landing on the 'end' cover
>Blank, like the rest of the pages
>Alright, time to unleash the Swarm
>A few strokes later, and the symbol was drawn
>...
>Huh, nothing seems to be happening
>Of fucking course nothing's happening
>A disgusted sigh escapes you as you close the book
>Well, this was a fucking bust
>Looks like your... what is it, 'Lexica Thaumaturgia' wouldn't be read this decade
>You put it off to the side
>...
>And immediately pick it the fuck back up because HOLY SHIT THE FUCKING TITLE CHANGED
>Well, not really, but it kind of actually did
>It wasn't in fucking Zebra language, it was in plain English now
>Only without the 'owned by' line

>>29865444
>You open the book, normally this time
>Text
>Glorious, sexy text
>It was... a welcome in multiple languages?
>The text was moving, and it was scrolling through multiple languages
>What is this, the fucking iPhone book now?
>And hold on, you normally can't see moving text on books, since the magic doesn't work on you
>That means either the book is too good for you, or the book is physically changing itself
>You just bank on the latter being true and flip the page
>It was a series of checkboxes with all the languages crammed in there
>Trying to turn the page just gave you the same exact page
>It wants you to pick a language
>Oh sweet merciful Lord, this IS the fucking iPhone book
>You pick up the quill and check off the Engli-- oh sorry, the 'Equestrian Common' language box
>When nothing happened, a page flip confirmed that the other side had changed
>Now you had a big wall of text to sift through
>Oh boy, what fun
>No seriously, this was actually kind of fun
>Barring the iPhone comparisons, you were actually interacting with a super ancient, highly illegal book of magic and shit
>Hype doesn't begin to cover the breadth of your feelings towards this

>>29865452
>Well, time to start reading
>"Thaumaturge: A worker of wonders or miracles. An apt description of the things to come, from within the tome you now possess. Read these words carefully, and heed them well."
>"Throughout the millenia, many beings have borne the blessings of magic, from the simple Breezie to the twisted Draconequui."
>"Through this connection to the arcane, these beings and creatures command great power over creation, helping to shape the world in their own special way."
>"It is not without a sense of want, however, that other beings, without this intrinsic connection to the mystic power of creation, cannot help but desire to touch the world around them in the same way."
>"And thus began the pursuit of the arcane, the beginnings of the art of Thaumaturgy."
>"Through a labour of ingenuity, brilliance, luck, and a hint of madness, the mundane races discovered how to touch the essence of the world, like their blessed neighbours could."
>"Yet, all they could do was touch. Isolated as they were, the mundane races could only touch their power, never command it as they do."
>"It was not until the infant races began to travel and discover one another, that the knowledge cobbled by the mundane races began to form some measure of cohesion."
>"Theories were exchanged, ideas tested, and finally, their visions were made manifest. At last, the mundane races found ways to control the arcane, however limited it might have been at first."
>"The practitioners of this art were known to all as the Faber Mystico, the first Thaumaturges. Their art brought about a golden age for all mundane races of the world."

>>29865457
>"With the power of the arcane at their beck and call, they created devices that brought untold prosperity to their peoples in a short span of time."
>"And with this prosperity, came an age of great enlightenment for the mundane races. With a new lens through which to view all of creation, they decoded many secrets of the world, furthering their people's progress."
>"And yet, their rapid progress and newfound grasp on the arcane did not sit well with many of the blessed races. They saw the progress of the mundanes as both a threat to their standing, and an affront to the natural order."
>"The blessed races attempted conquest numerous times, succeeding only after many of their own were driven to near extinction by the swift wrath of the mundanes, hardened as they were by their existence without magic."
>"Before their fall, and their subjugation under the blessed ones, the most knowledgeable among them crafted enchanted, sentient grimoires of vast knowledge."
>"These grimoires were seeded across the far corners of the world, accessible only to mundanes, where they hoped their knowledge would never be lost to the sands of time."
>"You currently read from the pages of one such tome."
>"Understand this, anonymous reader. The knowledge contained within this text is the sum total of all discoveries made by the Faber Mystico. As insightful and esoteric, as it is feared and forbidden by the blessed ones."
>"Should your curiosity not be staved off by the possibility of a fate worse than death for discovering this tome, then turn the page, and pray that your insistence is vindicated."

File: 1467248512632.jpg (206KB, 1024x768px) Image search: [Google]

206KB, 1024x768px

>>29865463
Holy shit on a stick of dyamite, Batman! Actual magic!
This is the part where shit starts rollin' on through.
Feels pretty good mang

As always, pastebin's in the OP for your perusal.
Now take this pic unrelated with my blessings.

>>29865463
>"Should your curiosity not be staved off by the possibility of a fate worse than death for discovering this tome, then turn the page, and pray that your insistence is vindicated."
>"Baws pls gibe da magic pucci"

>>29863739
Then they get a gun.

After all, when you're dropped into a magical world of technicolor equines you're gonna want the great equalizer on your side.

File: 1489190042019.jpg (147KB, 915x1014px) Image search: [Google]

147KB, 915x1014px

>>29854610
Is bits kill?
He hasn't posted in a while
>Mfw if he is

>>29865675
Don't forget the flags, Anon.

>>29865738
I won't. I'm going to read some more stories before I work on my own, though. And the first one might not be about guns.

>>29865748
Well damn even more green?
Nice/10

Also I'm going to drop a nice,long update soon. Been trying to figure out where I should go with the story..
So I'll ask you guys a few questions
1.lewd or no lewd?
2. Is it cringy or edgy in any way?
.3 do you enjoy it?
Just wondering how I'm doing greenwise

>>29865790
#1 yes
#2 kinda,tone it down with the landscapes
#3 7/10 yes

When you git gud at writing I think you have potential to rival HK
But right now I can tell you're trying but you just need to work harder
Tl:Dr
>REEEEEEEEEEEE GET BETTER OR LEave

>>29865689
bout as dead as msg

>>29860162
>>”Eat me,” it says. “Eat me like the dirty fish I am.”
>>”Ayy, a godetevi il vostro cibo, stronzo.”
Kek. I had a hearty laugh.
But, if I may: the "a" doesn't need to be there. Also, written that way, it's the equivalent of using the plural "your" so it sounds like the guy is talking to Anon plus all the ponies there. It could, in theory, be used when talking to a single person, but it's a pretty archaic form and it conveys a lot of respect too, which doesn't seem to be the case, considering the last word means "asshole".
Automatic translators are just terribad at getting sentences right.
On another note, I'm liking this Celestia, she really needed to be given some character depth. And trying to act friendly was a good move on Anon's part, regardless of the reason why he did so.
I can't stand Twilight in this story. Holy shit, last time I hated her this much I was reading the Exchange, and that's saying a lot.
Luna is fucking adorable. About her though, hadn't she already met Anon? I remember her threatening him when he woke up after being resurrected, or was it a guard? I'm not sure.

>>29866287
I just put the "a" in to add to the accent. I didn't know it was some big thing in Italian. I guess I'll change that in the pastebin.

>>29866520
>I didn't know it was some big thing
It's not a big thing, but I wouldn't use it if I had to write that. Just thought I'd let you know, I didn't want to nitpick.

The Game

>>29860192
thankyou based urchin

>>29867534
fuck

>>29865463
aw yeah. im enjoying this

>>29868149
Keep this thread alive through the season 7 shitstorm.

>>29869119

>>29869704

>>29860192
Based Urchin

>>29854610
>You both find yourselves at the twins house
>The pones have long been in bed and you sit practicing magic
>You're doing good with telekinesis
>The coin orbits your finger like a planet
>You flick your finger it flings away like a boomerang
>Cool
>You make the coin come back fast
>It makes a little "zip" noise as it cuts the air
>You bet if you make it go fast enough you could send it through someone's skull
>Like in that movie
>X-fags?...
>Who knows
>You set the coin down and try to float some books over
>You can barley even move the thick books so you just get up and take one
>'Magic spells for foals'
>Well you guess you could give this a read
>Chapter one: magic types
"There are all kinds of magic in equestria!
Like unicorns, unicorns are both on the lowest and highest on the magic scale.
Some unicorns and creatures use specific kinds of magic spells,like elementals,
They use a specific kind of magic or spells, for instance,
Ice elementals use ice and snow based attacks,while their cousin the fire elemental uses the opposed kind of magic"
>Chapter 2: "basic spells"
>Aww yiss
>here you go
"Telekinesis is the use if magic to manipulate or move items, some unicorns have been known to move objects so fast they broke the sound barrier"
>You already know that though.
>Fugggg
...
>You only realize you have been reading about spells for eight hours was the sun coming up
>You stayed up all night reading and practicing spells from this book
>Your really surprised when most of them work
>You know this coin can do more but it feels like it has to get used to using magic again

>>29873397
Extra long update for time spent not writing
I'll post more at 6

>>29866287
What if that's part of the story?