RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

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I want a mare to aggressively rub her fluff up against me.

>>29765900
>Wanting a mare to rape you
You slut.

>>29765905
All colts are sluts, and they're asking for it.

>>29765913
They want to have a mare rub her fluff all over them, but they just don't know it yet.

>>29765539
Maud might be moving to ponyville,What kind of welcoming gift would you give her?

>>29765993
Something rock hard obviously.

>Look again, the D is now diamonds
>I'm on a horse

>>29765993
Hint: It's rock hard.

>>29765920
Hell no. Getting mare hair off a wool suit is a pain. You rub up on me, you'd better be prepared to pick up my dry cleaning bill.

>>29766014
That's why you're still a horse-virgin, Anon. Mares don't like high-maintenance stallions.

>>29765993
My penis. She'll get her present whether she likes it or not.

>Anon is aware of the reversed gender roles, but he encounters the switched-around expectations for males like him so infrequently that he sometimes forgets about them
>Applejack might hesitate to take him up on his offer to help around SAA, saying that she doesn't want to "upset your delicate sensibilities"
>Anon just stares blankly at her for a couple of seconds before it clicks in his head
>"Oh, right. That."

>>29765900
A pegasus laying on your back and presenting her soft underbelly to you is a sign of trust. It's also a sign that she wants you to do things to her also-exposed vagina. Depending on the mare, it can lean towards one more than the other.

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>>29765900
>Almost lazily, Rainbow pushes the book out of your lap and takes it’s spot.
>She looks up at you with goofy smile and half-lidded eyes on a red face.
>”Annnooooooon…” She moans piteously as she paws at your chest. “Let’s bump uglies and make a foal. Just one…”
>Her tail flits and flags, letting the subtle scent of her arousal hit your nose.
>You’re tempted to give in, but collect yourself.
>It’s the peak of estrus in Ponyville, and contrary to what some stallions say, mares DON’T turn into rape monsters.
>They just get… more feminine (by human standards), more touchy, and much more willing to have kids.
>Even macho mares like Rainbow melt in the wake of the hormonal high.
“Sorry, babe. No can do,” you gently tell the pegasus. “Remember that you told me you want to wait a year or two?”
>The athlete’s face falls as she slowly remembers her own words through the haze currently settled on her.
>“Yeah, but… But…”
>She simply huffs and seizes one of your hands to rub her face and puffed up tuft against.
>That might have worked on a stallion, but you? More adorable than sexy, you think, as she rolls to her back with your hand still in her forehooves.
>You run the hand through her plush tuft, down her taut stomach, and stop between her legs.
>The mare in your lap bites her lip and shivers.
“Just power through it, Rainbow. Today is the worst day. It’ll get better, but until it does, I’ll help out.”
>Rainbow’s face screws itself up into frustration, but she drops it for an expression of relief when your fingers finally meet their prize.
>These ponies, man...

>>29765905
>>29765913
>>29765920
>There's a dark secret lurking in Ponyville
>Once a month, a secret society meets under cover of night
>The exact location changes each time to reduce the chance of being caught
>Everpony in attendance is female, aside from three unlucky stallions chosen at random from the citizenry
>The newcomers are frightened, while those familiar with this twisted ritual resign themselves for what's to come
>There's no point in trying to escape, there are too many mares here, they wouldn't get far
>There's no point in telling anyone, either
>Mayor Mare and half the ponice force are here too
>As time rapidly approaches, the mares become more excited
>They make more aggressive, lewd remarks
>Sometimes they stick their forelegs through the bars of the stallion's cages to feel their fur or touch them inappropriately
>When the time comes, each mare is assigned a number
>Those numbers are drawn, and nine mares are chosen
>Three per stallion
>The stallions are led into the middle of the room by their mares, surrounded on all sides by loud, horny spectators, and they are raped
>They are violated numerous times, all while the crowd eggs their rapists on and says lewd, demeaning things about the victim
>Three mares per stallions means each one can rest while the others continue the rape, allowing the ordeal to last for hours
>Sometimes it all becomes too much for the crowd, and they all swarm the stallions, passing them around like objects
>When it's all over, the stallions are returned to their homes, a venue is decided on for the meeting, and the mares go back to their normal lives like nothing happened

>Anon is unaware of all of this when his friend-who-happens-to-be-a-mare asks him if he could go with her to a private event
>It's her first time, and she'd be more at ease if she saw a familiar face there
>She can't tell him what kind of meeting it is, but she promises that he'll love it
>Every last second of it

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>>29766078

>>29766084
"So you want to take me to some secret event, in the middle of the night?"
>"Come on, Anon I know you're gonna love it"
>"Ya lil slut..."
"What was that second bit, Dash?"
>"Uh, I said you gotta come with me."
"I mean, alright I guess, what's the worse that could happen?"

>>29766084
Hot.

>Mares try to escape Anon, but he just grabs them and drags them back in
>He is not locked in there with them, they are locked in with him.

>>29766006
>I'm in a horse
fixed

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>>29766078
f-fug
i need it

>>29766168
Either way, you're gonna ride pony

>>29766084
>Anon clues in on whats happening fairly quickly
>On one hand, he's nobodies bitch
>On the other, snusnu
>After the mares are chosen, with his horse bros on the line, he develops a hero complex
"I will take all these mares myself! But I will not go willingly!"
>His declaration causes most of the mares
>They don't want to get the hot monkey damaged
>But >rape wins
>Their problem, however, is assuming that they will be the ones doing...

Then >>29766117 happens

>>29766117
>>29766614

>A huge pile of utterly spent mares lay in the middle of the room, the only sounds being weak moans and lots of panting
>one mare decides enough was enough and tries to slink away
>a hand emerges from within the pile, and expertly latches onto the escaping ponies tail

"No! No no no no no!"

>her cries are unheaded, her hooves dig big ruts into the concrete floor as she is slowly dragged back into the pile.

>from deep within a voice can be heard

>"Rape"

>>29766614
>>His declaration causes most of the mares
CAUSES THEM WHAT

>>29766666
You tell us Satan.

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>>29766672
SUFFERING

>>29766666
>pause

Phone eats random words sometimes

so
what happened to the porn poster

did you get permad senpai
i know you browse this thread

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You have to show dominance

>ponies think that anon experienced unspeakable horror that lasted for far too long and left glaring marks both physical and mental.

>In reality he does not experienced THAT.

>It all begun when they started asking him about his world.

>"Hey anon what is the name of your hometown!?"

>"WAR-SAW!?!?!?!"

>OH GOD HE IS FROM WARZONE!

>>29767218
>>In reality he does not experienced THAT.
engrish

>>29767227
>"WAR-SAW!?!?!?!"
Cut him some slack, he's clearly a slav.

>>29767218
Warsaw is like see-saw: one day we take some land, next day we lose it. Casualties for day go up and down, enemies killed go up and down. Is no big deal, just how war is. You learn to live with, or you die. I did not learn so good.

>>29767233
>>29767218

Warsaw is the capital of.... DESTRUCTIA!

>>29767236
>I did not learn so good.
unexpected kek

>>29766635
>First time ever in equestria's history
>theres a shortage in mares
>stallions cant find a herd
>meanwhile a mass of exhausted mares surround anon
"ok....NEXT ROUND"
>THE RAPE TRAIN HAS NO BREAKS

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repost from previous thread

>Pony social norms are a little different than human
>Anon is rather stereotypical human being
>He's behaviour is maybe not ideal but acceptable for humans but ponies perceive it different
>He likes to drink
Not to the point of being alcoholic but for ponies it's still a lot
>He value his privacy, not tell all his thoughts to friends, sometimes try to hide his emotions, has locks in his dors
Perfectly normall for humans, but ponies are a lot more open and emotionall
>Value his personall space, don't like to hug everyone around, always wear clothes
>Likes to spend times alone, not to the point of being recluse, but he enjoy being only with himself

While he's perfectlly healthy ponies think that there is something wrong with him maybe he was abused by his mares or something, they try to help him in pony way of course (intervention, hiring psychiatrist and tricking Anon to talk with her etc.)

>>29767233
That's weird. My first thought was North Dakota.

>>29766635
After said event, the society proceeds to slowly fade away, a few mares traumatized

A few even stick with anon for longer...

>>29767966
>>29767715
>10
nice save

>>29767233
Slav Anon does not deserve Equestria.

>>29767707
>All this engrish
Slav Anon please go

>>29767993
>bad grammer means you should never make a propmt
fuck off.

>>29768023
Means you should learn how to use the language you're writing in, sempai. Don't shit in a box and then get upset when people don't like the smell.

>>29768051
im not slav anon.
if your wrighting a story then grammer is extremely important, no so much for prompts.

>>29767218
>"Hey Anon, where did you live back on Earth?"
"Outer Heaven."
>"Wow, that place sounds really nice!"
"It wasn't."

>>29768118

>Big Boss in Equestria

I bet someone already did it

>>29768137
My pastebin update.

>>29768118
>>29768137
>Anon was a soldier from Eastern Europe fighting for the Soviet Union before he was fultoned away by Big Boss to fight for the Diamond Dogs
>Then ponies happen
>Something Something RGRE™

>>29768166
......I could see something that silly happening actually.

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>As fall turns to winter, a pony's fur thickens to help keep them arm
>In unicorns, it gives them an impressive chest tuft, bulking up around their necks and resembling the poofy collar of a fur coat
>For pegasi, down production increases, making them softer to handle (but making it more difficult for them to fly)
>Earth ponies have a much thicker coat everywhere on their bodies, making them appear bigger than they actually are. While not quite as beautiful as that seen on a unicorn, it's much more suited for an earth pony's tough, hands-on lifestyle
>Mares use this increased fluff to help them attract a mate and prepare them for when estrus hits in the following spring, just a few short months away
>something something RGRE

>>29768209
>keep them arm
arm? I didn't know they had hands.

>>29768218
Warm.

>>29768053
>wrighting
......kay

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>>29768053
>bork bork bork

I want to be her first.
I want to be the one to hold her hand.
I want to be the one she wakes up next to every morning.
I want to be the one to take her on walks on breezy evenings.
I want to be the one that holds her tight on chilly nights.
I want to be the one to beside her during childbirth.
I want to be the one who wakes up to check on our child in the middle of the night.
I want to be the one who packs lunch for the family.
I want to be the one who kisses her goodbye when she heads off to work.
I want to be the one that stands beside her at our child's graduation.
I want to be the one that comforts her when she sends our son down the aisle.
I want to be the one she kisses at her retirement party.
I want to be the one that gets exited with her when our grandchild is born.
I want to watch the sun set with her.
I want to fall asleep next to her.
I want to spend the rest of my life with her.
But it will never come to be.
She was never meant for me.
Three dimensions is our curse you see.
If only I had one less D.

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>>29768209
Source on the art, I love when ponies have clear physiological differences from one another.

>>29768377

>I want to be the one to hold her hand.

>no hooves

>>29768441
http://earthsong9405.deviantart.com
Reverse Google image search is pretty convenient sometimes.

>>29768209
I like thing

>>29768781
A lot of really cute shit in there when you get past all the terrible anthro.

Welp, here's the next part of Applefang. There was a bunch more stuff that I wanted to put in it, but I didn't want to waste it on a bunch of OCs. I'd start something, and then I'd that these characters don't actually have any real significance in he way that real characters do. And since they don't have any established personalities (again, like real characters), then there's no way to judge whether or not anything I'm writing would be in-character for them. It just wasn't very fun to write and I'm glad to be done with this part. The next time post, we'll be back in the present with Twilight and the rest.

Continued from: https://pastebin.com/PfvhAejw


-----------------

>"Brushed Galena?" asks your new friends' mother, not taking her eyes off of you, "Why don't you go get a start on dinner?"
>"Yes, Autumn Gold."
>Their father stands up and walks into the kitchen without a backwards glance.
>Autumn Gold fixes you with a disapproving glare that rivals your grandmother's.
>Miss you, grandma 'Nata.
>"What, exactly," she growls, "Is this 'hands thing' my daughter is talking about?"
>The hair on the back of your neck stands up straight as a chill runs down your spine.
>No false movements here.
>You've got your only chance for room and board glowering at you.
"Easy there," you say, holding out your hands in mock-surrender, "Let's not jump to conclusions just yet. All I did was poke Apple Streusel on the nose."
>Autumn Gold doesn't look convinced.
"With my finger."
>You hold up your hand and wriggle your digits around.
>Autumn Gold's eyes follow your eyes for a second or two before she turns her attention to Apple Brown Betty.
>"Is this true?"
>Autumn Gold's voice is stern, but now lacks the sharp accusatory tones it did just a few moments ago.
>Betty nods, looking relieved.

>>29768974
>Welp, here's the next part of Applefang
EXCITE

>>29768974
>You could have guessed that if a perfect stranger can read Autumn Gold's mood, then it should be obvious to the old mare's daughter.
>"It is, Ma," says Betty quickly, hoping to capitalize on her mother's doubt, "Ah reckon Apple Streusel said it felt weird a'cuz we sure as sugar don't get no minotaurs 'round these parts, and she ain't never got booped by'em."
>Her expression doesn't change, save for the raising of her eyebrows.
>"Boopin'?" she asks slowly.
"Uh, you know..." you say, poking the empty air in front of you with a forefinger, "Booping."
>Autumn Gold is silent, and her face is frozen in deep contemplation.
>You can't tell if she's honestly trying to pass judgement on you, or if she's trying to come up with what she should say to such an innocent, silly excuse for poor wording.
>After a long few moments, Autumn Gold's lips form a thin line and her eyes dart to over to meet yours.
>If you're up on your horse body language, you'd say that she's feeling pretty sheepish.
>"Oh."
>Autumn Gold walks over to you, turning her back to her daughter; she doesn't see Apple Brown Betty sag in relief (nor her eldest Apple daughter smacking her little sister upside the head for her choice in wording).
>The older mare sits on her haunches and adjusts her glasses, looking rather bothered.
>"I'd like to apologize for that, mister. I've made an error in judgement."
>Autumn Gold stumbles over the words, as though the apology felt foreign in her mouth.
>"If it suits you, you are welcome to a warm meal and an even warmer bed tonight."
>The idea of refusing her offer and sleeping in your carriage flashes across your mind for a brief moment, but you discard it immediately.
>It's not every day that someone implies that you're a whore and then offers you a free dinner.
>...Well, no, that's not true; in fact, that was actually how you got a fair deal of your spending money back in Filly Delphia.

>>29768974
>That was before the unfortunate incident with the mayor of Filly Delphia, a food stand that you set up to sell salted doughnut balls, and a misunderstanding that lead to the poor mare asking you for something unintentionally lewd.
>You kneel down and amicably hold out your hand to shake.
"Think nothing of it, ma'am. Dinner and a place to sleep for the night are more than I can ask for."
>Autumn Gold's features soften a bit and her stern disapproval evaporates into something a little less hostile.
>The older mare reaches out and places her hoof into your hand.

----------------------

>Be Brushed Galena
>Be known to your foals as "Pa"
>You've put that 'Anonymous' out of your mind for the present being; if anything is the matter, then Autumn Gold will sort it out.
>It's not your place to worry about potentially-unwelcome guests.
>For now, all you're concerned about is getting your family fed.
>You-
>"Ow!"
>>"Ma!"
>"She BIT me!"
>...
>Mares...

-----------------

>Brushed Galena seems to be pretty friendly now that he no longer thinks that you're a whore.
>Apple Streusel was awful curious about you, and she spent as much time asking you questions as she spent on actually eating her dinner, ending up finishing her meal long past the point where it went cold.
>You have family back home, of course, and so you're used to dealing with kids.
>You were patient, shushed her when she got too loud, and offered to answer her questions in exchange for her taking bites of her dinner to make sure that she finished.
>Brushed Galena in particular had been observing you silently throughout the meal, mostly likely watching to make sure that the stranger isn't doing or saying anything appropriate with his kid.
>In the quiet lull in conversation (granted to you by Apple Streusel drinking all her milk if you agreed to tell her why you skipped going to Detrot), the older stallion spoke up.

>>29768989
MY HEART!

Timothy
>>29744640

>>29768977
Feels good, filly.

>>29768989
>"You must be good with foals," observed Brushed Galena, chewing contemplatively on his stew.
"Heh, maybe. I had-er, I have a younger sister back home and I used to look after her pretty often."
>Brushed Galena just smiled and nodded slowly.
>"Good, good. It's a skill every stallion above a certain age should have; in fact, I was a little bit worried that you didn't know how to take care of young ones..."
>Not long after that, he started asking about your time on the road.
"It's tough and there have been a few close calls, but it's very rewarding. I get to see all kinds of places and enjoy what the ponies there have to offer."
>Brushed Galena narrowed his eyes and gave you the same look from back when he thought you'd done something weird to his kids with your hands.
>"...have you offered anything for the ponies there to enjoy?"
>Autumn Gold looked scandalized.
>>"Brushed Galena!"
>The Apple patriarch winced and shot an apologetic look at his wife; he clearly crossed some sort of line with a question like that.
>"Please excuse me, Anonymous," he said, ears flopping, "That was very inappropriate of me to ask."
>You learned after the first few cities that what you would call "casual sex" back home is actually called "prostitution" here in Equestria
>You don't need a repeat of Filly Delphia, and you figure that lying and saying you're a virgin will win you more points that telling the truth and admitting that you're a man-whore.
-expand on why he figures
"Not that it's any of your business, but no, I haven't."
>Dinner was a quiet affair after that, with even Apple Streusel picking up on the shift in mood and halting her line of questioning.

>After dinner, Autumn Gold walks into the living room with an old, beaten bag clenched in her teeth.
>She stops in the middle of the room and puts the bag down, and then shoves her face inside of it.

>>29768997
>When she pulls back, she has a neat stack of parchment in between her jaws, which she sets down onto the floor in front of her.
>This repeats a couple more times until she's unloaded the entire thing, which contained some more parchment, a ledger, a quill, and two cracked bottles of ink.
>Without so much as a nod in your direction, Autumn Gold paws at the papers and books in front of her and spreads them out all around her so that she can see everything at once.
>Finally, she grabs the quill in her mouth, dips it into the closest ink bottle (notably the one with the fewest number of cracks) and starts scribbling simple equations down on a blank piece of parchment.
>Not wanting to get in her way for fear of being bitten again, you put Autumn Gold's business out of mind and focus on the not-quite-filly, not-quite-mare in front of you.
>Apple Streusel was shuffling around and looked pretty fussy and restless, so you've taken it upon yourself to entertain her if only to keep her quiet.
>You carry a few knick-knacks with you at all times out of habit (you only get robbed once before you stop putting all your eggs into one basket), and it was no trouble at all to find that old snow globe you bought on a whim in Trottingham.
>It has been cheaply made, but a lack of mass-production here in Equestria meant that the product was still high quality; it just didn't have all the magical bells and whistles that other, more expensive products might have.
>For example, this globe didn't have any ambient lighting that others may have.
>Apple Streusel's eyes widen when you hold the snow globe upside down and give it a firm shake, causing the false snowflakes to fall from their resting place at the bottom of the globe and zip around as though being kicked up by high winds. The Trottingham cityscape within looks like it's been overcome by a miniature snow storm.
>Apple Streusel grabs the toy with both hooves and eagerly pulls it close to her face, investigating it closely.

>>29768997
I love you analplug... You're My Best Friend

>>29768997
>-expand on why he figures
I fucked up super hard. Tell you what, how about I proof-read this one more time.

>>29769008
D'aww, thanks friend. I really like writing for you guys.

>>29769007
Alright, I'm going through this more carefully. I'm going to feel really dumb if something slips through.

>She makes a small noise of disappointment when the white flakes stop falling, but screws up her face into a scrunch of concentration and gives it a firm shake.
>While Apple Streusel keeps her muzzle glued to the snowglobe, you turn your attention back over to Autumn Gold.
>The older mare is growling, muttering words underneath her breath that you can't make out, and looking back and forth between her ledger and her number-covered parchment.
>"Got-dangit!" she hisses and spits the quill out of her mouth, which skitters across her scrap parchment and leaves a messy black streak.
>The numbers on her parchment are all neatly organized into columns, and it doesn't take long for you to realize that these are the Apple's finances.
>...and it's not looking good for them.
>You consider keeping your nose out of Autumn Gold's business, but then you glance at her papers and see a crude sketch of yourself on one of the parchments, and a number with a bit sign underneath it.
>You feel a flash of guilt when you realize that your staying here is costing the Apples money - money that they don't have.
>You look back at Apple Streusel and find her utterly distracted by the toy you gave her, and judge that it's safe to speak to her mother.
"Autumn Gold?" you murmur, crouching down and speaking lowly so that you don't attract the attention of the youngest Apple; she doesn't need to know about this.
>The older mare glances in your direction and then looks back at her papers, grunting in acknowledgement.
"Is there somethi-"
>"No."
>Autumn Gold's response sounds final, and she's clearly used to whomever she's speaking to obeying her orders; being the matriarch of the family, you aren't surprised.
>Her family finances are also very clearly not any of your business.

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>>29769012
Ok.

>>29769029
You're good than Lap.

>>29769029
Also, fuck trying to write out their accent. Just pretend that they're speaking in Banjo as usual.
>Fortunately, you are not family and she has no authority over you; you can be as rude and intrusive as you want to be.
"I'm costing you money," you state bluntly, "Let me do something to help make up for it."
>She turns her head to look at you out of the corner of her eye, but she doesn't say anything.
>Her mouth is formed into a thin grimace, much like when she thought you were doing something to her daughters that she didn't approve of.
>Finally, she speaks up.
>"I won't take your money, Anonymous. You're a guest here."
>No surprise there; Autumn Gold struck you as a typical prideful country mare.
>Your response is given without a single beat missed.
"Then let me work. I honestly have no idea what goes on in an apple orchard, but I can learn."
>Autumn Gold chuckles sadly.
>"We need a little bit more than a stallion's touch, mister."
>She points with an ink-stained hoof to one of the scraps of parchment, where images of trees are drawn.
>Some of them have big check marks scrawled over them, but about a quarter of them are messily scribbled out.
>"We just don't have the hooves to work with an orchard this size. Normally we'd hire mares from Ponyville, but last year's harvest was smaller than usual and we just can't afford any help this year."
>She touches one of the scrawled-out trees sadly.
>"Our stock is rotting before we can preserve'em or take'em to market. We're losing a tonne of bits."
>The poor mare looks so damn depressed, and having to say those words out loud makes her sag.
>Autumn Gold sighs miserably and pats your knee.
>"Maybe you can help Brushed Galena around the house instead," she says, sounding resigned.
>You glance behind you once more, and Apple Streusel is still amused (and distracted) by your snowglobe.
>...
>Dammit.
>You and your fucking conscience.
>You and your disproportional sense of repayment.

>>29769038
>A few weeks pass by uneventfully on Sweet Apple Acres.
>You managed to prove to Autumn Gold that you were capable of, at the very least, not injuring yourself while helping out.
>All it took was scaring the townsfolk of Ponyville by hefting around an axe that you used for chopping wood, as well as a very uncomfortable milking session with a cow who refused to stop telling you how good your hands felt on her udders.
You later found out that Sweet Apple Acres does not, in fact, own any cows.
>Autumn Gold decided to give you a chance at helping out (with Apple Streusel supervising you), and she was equally surprised and pleased that you managed to actually carry your own weight; and then some.
>If her pleasant mood (pleasant for Autumn Gold, anyway) is anything to go by, then the orchard is back in the black thanks to your help.
>The Apple matriarch's been treating you much better since then, giving you a taste of that famous southern hospitality... or whatever Equestria calls it.
>Good things never last, tho.
>The Apples have warned you that they've been hearing more frequent howling at night coming from the Everfree forest, which is something they say happens every year around harvest time.
>You finally have some free time, so you've decided to grab your cart from the forest-side edge of the Apple's property and drag it over closer to the house.
>The last thing you want are for those fucking timberwolves to go through your stuff and ruin all of your worldly possessions
>You fucking hate timberwolves.
>You jog outside and over to where you left your cart, eager to get your worldly belongings into the barn before it rains.
>The sounds of tinkling, bashing, and ruffling grow louder the closer and closer you get to your carriage.
>Lo and behold, little Apple Streusel has climbed up into your cart and has buried her head into your thing, nudging knick-knacks around with her muzzle like a curious little puppy.
"Having fun in there, Streusel?"

>>29769037
I'm good than LaP? High praise, Anon.

>>29769070
>The not-quite-mare freezes at the sound of your voice and slowly pulls her head out of your cart.
>She tries to put on a sheepish expression, but she just ends up looking like a nervous little kid who thinks she's about to get scolded.
>"Oh, uh... Hey, mister Anonymous! I was just..."
>Apple Streusel flattens her ears and paws at the wooden floor, occasionally looking at you and then quickly looking away again.
>The scene is just too adorable and you can't resist the urge to tease the young mare.
>You cross your arms and put on your best disapproving glare.
"You just... what?"
>Apple Streusel lowers her head and lets out a very doggy whine; you barely resist the urge to march on over and hug that little darling.
>"I-I just... I wanted to know more about where you went. You went all over the place, and you didn't even have a mare around to make sure you were okay!"
>She peers back into your open carriage with barely-restrained eager curiosity.
>"After you gave me that snow globe of Trottingham, I started thinking about the world out there. You've probably got all kinds of stories, right?"
>She finally tears her eyes away from your trinkets and looks at you excitedly.
>"Right?"
>You really don't think you can resist that face.
>You can't see the harm in telling Apple Streusel a few stories about your travels as long as you stay away from the matter of why the mayor of Filly Delphia kicked you out of the city.
>You give her a smile and approach your carriage, already going through your head the things you'll tell her.
>There are so many stories and so many experiences you've had; so many that you've probably forgotten some of them. It'll probably work to jog your memory if Apple Streusel picks something from your carriage that interests her, and then you can tell her the history behind it.

>>29769078
"Well, Apple Streusel," you say with a groan, leg twitching irritably as you find a place on your carriage to sit down on, "Grab whatever you like and I'll tell you all about it, okay?"
>Apple Streusel doesn't waste any time shoving her head into your personal belongings.
>Adorable.
>"What about... Oh!"
>Apple Streusel pulls her head out, and you're surprised at how eager you are to share your stories to someone who's interested in hearing them.
>You wonder what item she picked first.
>Oh, maybe she's found that crystal you-
>"Wha's dis 'fing, mis'srr Mamonn-mus?"
"What's what, Streu-"
>SHIT
>Clamped in her jaws is that rubbery dick-sleeve you bought while you were drunk a couple of towns back.
>The one that you've totally never EVER used; no sir.
>Your face explodes in a blush and you reach over to grab it from her, but Streusel pulls away.
"Gimme that!" you stutter, "That's-that's-I'll tell you what it is if you give it to me!"
>Streusel wriggles and dances out of your attempts to grab her, looking like she's having a lot of fun avoiding your grabs.
>"Bu' wha' is'sit?"
"Dammit, come back here!"
>Apple Streusel laughs in response and and starts hopping around your cart, tail swishing from side to side, stepping on old trash and useless trinkets as she plays, what is from her perspective, a very fun game.
"I need that!"

>After a few panic-filled minutes of horseplay (hue), you finally manage to grab Apple Streusel and scoop her up in your arms.
>Even as you yank the unfortunate object out of her mouth, Streusel giggles madly and playfully bats her hooves at your encroaching hand.
>Now that the mad rush to get the sex toy out of this most-likely-underaged pony's mouth is done, you promptly lose your adrenaline high and become studiously aware of just how much this mare weighs.
>What do they feed these earth ponies; concrete?

>>29769089
>With the young mare still wrapped up in your arms, you and Apple Streusel slide down the side of your carriage and collapse into a sweaty heap together.
>Apple Streusel looks up at you from her position on your lap; laying on her back with her widdle hoofsies curled up against her chest as though poised to fend off another playful attack on her tummy-tum-tums.
>She's got a bright smile on her face and laughter-born tears threatening to trail down her cheeks if she lets loose so much as a giggle.
>You know what?
>For all the difficulty she gave you back there, that was actually pretty fun.
>You give Apple Streusel an affectionate mane-tussle, doing your best to turn her brushed hair into a crow's nest; Streusel grabs your arm with her forehooves and pulls it tight against her furry chest.
>The smile she gives you is so happy that it feels like a punch to the gut.
>God, you miss home; if this creature sitting on your lap had the body of a human instead of a pony, she'd be a dead-ringer for your little sister.
>This isn't the first parallel between Equestria and Earth that's left you with a sharp pang of longing in your heart, and you guess it won't be the last, either.
>You-
>The sensation of a hoof gently caressing your cheek breaks you out of your sad little reflection.
>"Mister Anonymous?"
"Hmm?"
>Apple Streusel's got her head tilted to the side, and concern for you is written as plain as day on her face.
>You feel a faint pang of guilt when you realize that the giddy, playful energy in the air is gone now.
>"You look sad. Are you alright?"
>Apple Streusel shrinks in on herself and looks away from you, frowning faintly.
>"Did I do something wrong? Ma says you should never do something to make a colt sad."
>...
>If Apple Streusel minded you giving her a big hug, she sure didn't say anything.

>>29769107
>Not long after, the two of you get up and go home.
>You don't realize it, but the thought of moving your carriage away from the Everfree forest and closer to the Apple's house has completely slipped your mind in all the excitement.
"Hey, Streusel?"
>"Yeah, mister Anonymous?"
"You can just call me 'Anon', okay?"

-------------

>It's later this evening, and you've found yourself alone with Brushed Galena for probably the first time since you began helping out a week or two ago.
>The two of you look out the dirty window, and you do your best to pretend that the silence between the two of you is awkward.
>You wonder if he's doing the same.
>Without any preamble, Brushed Galena speaks; not even bothering to look away from the view outside.
>"You handled yourself pretty well with Apple Streusel today."
>Does he know about the dick-sleeve?
>Play it cool, Anon.
"Yeah, I used to take care of my younger siblings back home. Remember?"
>Out of the corner of your eye, you watch Brushed Galena nod slowly.
>"You're pretty good with foals," he observes with an air of casualty.
>You nod cautiously.
"I guess I am."
>"You want some?"
>You do a double-take and stare at Galena, who looks calm as you please.
"Wh-what?"
>Like, to buy?
>Brushed Galena chuckles and finally turns to face you, managing to still look imposing despite having to tilt his head upwards to look you in the eye.
>"My daughters are young and healthy, you know. The right age for foals."
>Oh God, is he trying to do what you think he's trying to do?
>You have never felt more uncomfortable in your entire life.
>Who talks about this?!
"Wow. L-Listen, sir, I'm gonna be walking right out of town after apple harvest season is over."
>You try and take a nervous step backwards, but you end up backing into the armrest of the couch.
"I'm a traveller, and I don't re-"
>"A nice colt like you ought to settle down. Start a family."
"I still have plenty of places to go and-"

>>29769112
>"Listenin' to the clippity-clop of tiny hooves on a wood floor..."
"I hear that Los Pegasus is re-"
>"Fallin' asleep at night all cuddled up with your mares and your little foals."
>You-woah.
>Uhh...
"Th-that actually sounds pretty ni-"
>"I can teach you all sorts of recipes that your little ones will love."
>"Pa? Anon?"
>Apple Brown Betty trots into the room, looking curiously between you and her father and oblivious to the fresh hell she just walked into.
"Apple Brown Betty!"
>"Apple Brown Betty!"
>You and the old stallion both look thrilled to see the young mare.
>For you, it's because her entrance means that you can leave the room without being rude to the man who is providing you with food and a bed to sleep in.
>For him, it's because the very object of his one-sided conversation has just come into the room; hopefully to provide backup or to prove some kind of point for him.
>Apple Brown Betty sees your dual looks of utter delight and takes a nervous step backwards.
>"I just came in to tell you that soup's on."
>She looks between you and her father.
>"Are y'all oka-"
>"Betty," interrupts Brushed Galena, "Have you ever noticed that Anonymous has foal-siren' hips?"
>You've got WHAT?
>ABB's face explodes in a blush and her eyes dart to your crotch.
>You follow her gaze down to your groin, wondering what "foal-sirin' hips" could possibly be.
>Without waiting for either of you to say a word, Apple Brown Betty turns around and beats a hasty retreat.
>You can hear her muttering as she leaves the room.
>"So l-lewd..."

>>29769124
>About three days later, you are reminded quite harshly why you wanted to move your carriage closer to the house and away from the forest.
>You sit down on your ass and put your head in your hands.
>"I hate timberwolves, Betty," you groan, kicking away a piece of scrap wood, "I hate them so fucking much."
>Apple Brown Betty moves closer to the wreckage of your carriage and pokes around with one of her hooves, investigating the destruction.
>Apple Streusel sits down next to you, shuffling around so that she can lean against your side.
>She's soft and warm, and the gesture comforts you a lot more than you expected that it would.
>You and her watch Apple Brown Betty poke one of the cracked - but standing - wheels, and jumps back when the axle snaps and sends the wheel spinning off dangerously close to Betty's face.
>The last remaining standing portion of your carriage collapses onto the ground with an echoing -CRACK- and a cloud of dust.
>You hear the sound of something made of glass inside the carriage break upon impact, making Apple Brown Betty flinch and look at you apologetically.
>"O-Oops..."
>Apple Streusel nuzzles your chest gently, and you instinctively start to rub her back like a dog.
>"Anon?" she asks delicately, "I'm real sorry your carriage is ruined..."
>Everything was in there.
>You NEEDED that.
>Apart from a few crappy trinkets in your pockets, your entire life in Equestria was in that carriage.
>You give Apple Streusel a one-armed hug and savor her warmth.
"So am I, Streusel."
>Apple Brown Betty approaches you from the front, trying to put herself between you and the carriage.

>>29769129
>"Why don't we get you back inside, Anonymous?" asks Apple Brown Betty, nudging your shoulder with her muzzle.
>Apple Streusel (after a brief pause) jumps to her hooves and mirrors her sister; nudging your other shoulder, too.
>"Yeah, Anon," Streusel agrees, "We'll get you some water, okay?"
>A grinding and shifting noise coming from the cart catches all three of your attention.
>You watch as two cracked bottles of 16-year-old scotch roll out of the wreckage and shatter on the ground.
>"Oooh..." groans Apple Brown Betty her voice (and subsequent shoulder-pat) full of sympathy, "Maybe something a little bit stronger than water."
>You'll be back after you've had a stiff drink or four.
"You know what?"
>You plant your hands on your knees and rise to your feet.
"I'm going to go through this wreckage later."
>As you walk back to the house, your two pony friends stick by your side, watching you closely as though worried that the shock of losing your carriage will be enough to make you faint.
>"Don't you worry one bit, Anon," chirps Apple Streusel, nudging your hand with her head so that you'll pet her head, "I'm sure we can convince Ma and Pa to let you stay 'til you can buy a new carriage."
>You ruffle her mane and struggle to put a smile on your face.
"I guess I'll have to stay at the orchard for a little while longer, eh?"
>Apple Brown Betty smiles encouragingly at your attempt to make light of the situation.
>"I guess you will."
>You look over your shoulder one more time at what was once your home.
"Fucking timberwolves..."

>>29769135
God, my heart are beating very fast.

>>29769135
And we're done with that. Like I said, I could have done more with it if it weren't filled with OCs. Hopefully it didn't feel too rushed, and I'd appreciate any feedback that y'all have for me. I hope you liked reading this thing.

>>29767238
underated

>>29769146
you were good, son. real good. maybe even the best.

too bad the other writer had to fuck off and replace it with that shitty prompts instead

>>29769146
You done good anal.

>>29769145
Stay calm, Anon. The timberwolves aren't ruining Anon's shit like they were in the rough draft.

>>29769157
>>29769158
Thank you Anons, I'm real glad you enjoyed reading it. It still blindsides me a little bit when I hear stuff like this.

>>29769124
>"Have you ever noticed that Anonymous has foal-siren' hips?"
my sides, gone

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Today we remember our long-dead friendo, BGF.

>>29769135
kill them Anon, kill them all, grab an axe and a box of matches and teach them what happens when you break a man's nick-nacks

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>>29769232
s-s-s-s-s-shup up, that your fault.

Waaaaaa

>>29769135
>>29769146
Top kek

I really enjoyed this update, the very forward father trying to set him up with his daughters was fucking great.

>>29769135
>"Fucking timberwolves..."
that fucking stallion smashed his shit
fucking calling that fucker out
fucking fuck
the whore

>>29769281
OH SHIT

didnt even think of that

>>29769281
You know, that was Galena's nickname back in horseschool. Brushed "Timberwolf" Galena. They called him that because of his sharp pointed canines

>>29769070
>You later found out that Sweet Apple Acres does not, in fact, own any cows.
Minotaurs are crafty bitches
Captcha: MLKing street

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>You will never embarrass your marely marefriend by holding her hoof in public

>>29769936
>Not carrying your waifu around despite her protests.

>>29769957
>Not sitting on a bench at the park and cradling her in your arms
>Not nuzzling your face into her tummy and kissing her neck

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>>29769957
I would.

We don't have enough stories about drunk ponies hitting on Anon at a bar.

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>Don't break down in front of Anon
>Don't cry in front of Stallions
>You're a big mare
>You need to stay strong

>>29770316
UUUU

>>29770316
>Physical affection-starved Celestia will never hug you for several hours
>She will never appear in your room each night and ask for cuddles
>She will never have you sit right next to her (hip to hip) on an enlarged throne during day court

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>>29770392
>"WHY WONT YOO BLOODY RUT MAI, ANAHN!"

>>29770316
MY HEART

WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME

>>29770392
>>29770462
>Chavlestia in RGRE
>"THESE COLTS IS ALL A BUNCHA SKANKS! JUS' SHOVE YER FOOKIN' TODGER IN ME AND CALL IT A BLOODY DAY!"

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>>29770462

>>29765892
>Nonny Bravo
This filled my heart with warm and tinglys.

>>29770706
It was good until the end. I was expecting an eight-way orgy damn it!

>>29769070
So what was he milking?
Did a random cow just show up to a good feel up?
Was it a Minotaur?
Please tell me it was a Minotaur

>>29770721
It was a sneaky minotauress. As to how he couldn't tell the difference between a minotaur and a cow, well... it was either dark out, or Anon had a flask he hid in his back pocket and had been hitting it whenever the Apples weren't looking.

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I want to fuck twilight's mom

>>29770791
>You will never give Twilight a sister
>You will never get on Twilight's case to call you "dad"
>You will never say things like "your mother and I are very disappointed"
idk Night Light died in a tragic accident and Velvet fell into your arms in her despair.

>>29770799
>Not nabbing both Velvet and Twilight

>>29770799
didn't someone already write some casual/comfy lewds with her before?

>>29770816
>Not nabbing Velvet, Twilight, and Night Light

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>>29770827
>wanting a second stallion in your herd

>>29770824
NOF did one of his 1-2 post things about Twilight and Velvet being in a herd together, but I saw nothing else.

>>29770860
Wasn't it that one where they were discussing whether their foals would be each other's step-foals instead of Twilight's half-sibling and Velvet's grandfoal? That was a good one.

>You will never make a family tree very confusing

>>29770847
>not wanting to suck another man's jizz from your waifu's pussy before mounting her

>>29770874
Repost.

>”So, what are we supposed to call them relative to us?” Twilight asks with a tilted head.
>Velvet taps her chin in thought, shifting a bit on the bed so the sleeping foal tucked against her side wasn’t poking his horn into her.
>Thankfully, little Dusk isn’t as clingy as her Shiny was as a youngling, so the tiny unicorn remains asleep.
>”Normally, Dawn here would be considered my grand-daughter,” Velvet starts, tilting her head to the tiny alicorn playing with Twilight’s wing. “But since we’re in one herd, she’ll be considered a step-daughter to me, just as Dusk won’t be your brother, but a step-son. Since both have the same father, it’ll be a little easier to file.”
>”This sounds like it could be confusing?” Twilight states unsurely as she pulls her rambunctious daughter closer with a wing.
>The elder mare snorts. “Sweetie, you have no idea. Once we have to finalize all the paperwork for this, it’ll be a red tape nightmare.”
>Idly, the unicorn mare wonders if she can beg a stiff drink out of her human, then dashes the thought. There’s no way he’ll let her while Dusk still needs nursed.
>Night Light was the same way, but decidedly more unpleasant about it.
>Velvet loses her train of thought when Dawn wiggles out from under her mother’s wing and dashes to her half-brother as fast as a month old foal can.
>Said half-brother is booped and bapped awake by his hyper sister, who quickly ropes the bleary little colt into playing with her.
>The eldest mother and daughter both smile at the sight.
>Now, what was Velvet thinking of again..?
>Wait... That’s it!
>Velvet smirks. “Twilight? How would like a bit more practice on the art of being a mom?”
>The purple alicorn blinks unsurely. “How?”
>”Well, there’s two foals here, and you’ve got two teats...”
>Twilight’s face falls into a flat expression. “You just want to drink again, don’t you?”
>”Don’t judge me.”

>>29770886
Get lost fagget, this is mare loving country.

>>29770887
That was really cute. I love cozy stories like this.

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>>29770791
I would bust Mrs Sparkle's ass open like a goddamn watermelon. I would demolish that mare.

>>29770967
I bet she's just the nicest too. A real motherly type

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>>29770316

>>29770973
>I bet she's just the nicest too. A real motherly type
And in RGRE, that means sugarmama eager to smash on a guy 20 years younger than her.

>>29770316
>>29770998
>Giving lonely, overlooked mares their first taste of intimate contact in years

>Sexy librarian Anon

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>>29771059
>Be a face in the crowd where others like you are a dime a dozen.
>Expected to be strong and hardworking, told to try harder when it gets tough.
>But you're also told that you don't matter and that you can be replaced.
>And all the competition seems bitter and herculean.
>Romantic prospects are low.
>Family prospects are even lower.
>Haven't been touched by a male since your father gave you a hug...
>...Last year at family a reunion.
>But then, HE comes along...

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>>29771315
>Be a face in the crowd where others like you are a dime a dozen.
>Expected to be strong and hardworking, told to try harder when it gets tough.
>But you're also told that you don't matter and that you can be replaced.
Too close to home, famalam.

>>29770887
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYlJH81dSiw

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>>29770316
>>29770346
>>29771315
>>29771340

>>29771255
Has anyone ever wondered if human myths wind up in Equestria? Santa Clause, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Oni and heavenly ascended humans with animal heads...

Somehow I can only imagine that the mares would see the male figures as subjagated victums of cruel mistress' who force their husbands to work for them instead of providing for their husbands.

>Ponies are appalled that Mrs. Clause forces kind ol' Santa Clause to travel across the world in just one night to deliver gifts he makes with the help of his friends!
>While Mrs. Clause simply gets to stay at home, bake cookies and do buck all!
>An outrage!

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>>29771454

>>29770767
>>29772016
>tfw you will never get fresh minotauress milk early in the morning for cooking breakfast with

>>29770767
>>Anon had a flask he hid in his back pocket and had been hitting it whenever the Apples weren't looking.
>Ponies go to Anon's home one morning to find him drunk and crying

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Anon emo in RGRE?

>A pegasus mare waking up with stiff or extended wings is the equivalent of a guy waking up with morning wood
>Anon and Rainbow Dash are an item and one morning Anon wakes up to the sensation of soft wings wings wrapped around him
>Anon thinks it's adorable and sweet
>Rainbow Dash is mortified
>Wings wrapping around your coltfriend is like waking up to find that you've somehow mashed your junk into your girlfriend's face

>>29772363
I really want to touch and rub their wings.

>>29772363
So, what's the RGRE equivalent of a guy getting his face pressed in between a pair of tits when he wakes up?

>>29772785
A mare with her face squeezed into a stallions chest fluff.

If you're not hairy as fuck you're shit out of luck.

lets keep posting some prompts just to get this thread going along

>Ponies have no sense of personal space
>but it only happens to ponies who know each other
>since ponyville is a small community, everypony knows each other one way or another
>anon see all the tiny horses all cuddled up together whenever they hang out
>gets swamp with curious little foals while he is the library reading
>i always start with the CMC
>then their friends
>then their classmates
>anon doesnt mind
>tiny ponies are comfy yo

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>>29772885
>tfw a bunch of adorably tiny foals will never cuddle up to you

>>29772932
>nobody will ever cuddle up to you

>>29773005
What does it mean when you've reached the point where the thought of somebody cuddling up to you makes you uncomfortable.

>>29773035
it means your skin hungry and so emotionally bruised that you cannot fathem having non-destructive and non-toxic relationships with other human beings because of the past and because of it will likely never have a healthy relationship again.

>>29772344
Look in Fimfiction for that

Prompt bump
>Anon is a schoolteacher.
>Instead of trying to be the "Cool" teacher, he actually strives to teach the fillies something.
>He punishes them when they do wrong.
>Corrects them when they make mistakes.
>Rewards them when they do well.
>Teaches them to use their brains, but follow their heart.
>Teaches them to not compare, but improve.
>Gives them attention if they need it.
>Some fillies are confused.
>Why is a stallion acting like their mother?
>Some fillies may also have crushes on him.
>Maybe
>But they'll never tell.

>>29764037
>Something Something RGRE™
I keked

>>29773243
>substitute teacher anon
>working in a public school in fillydelphia
>school has a reputation for having THE MOST unruly and disrespectful students in the city
>the last teacher had to take the day off because they covered him in sticky slime
>it wouldnt come off and they had to shave ALL the fur
>the fillies think this new substitute will be a lot easier
>one thing they dont realize...
>he's not in there with them
>they're trapped in theyre with him

>>29773285
Don't want to learn?
Too bad.
I never said it was optional.

>>29773285
>the class is, of course, mostly mares
>their first "prank" is dropping a bucket of water on him
>he teaches the class with a wet shirt to not show weakness
>ah, first quiet day this week
>after a rough first week, they begrudgingly respect him
>he learns all their names and knows what kind of trouble each one likes to cause
>three weeks later he doesn't have to yell anymore
>they don't fear his voice or anger as much as their fear his disappointment
>staring into the eyes of a schoolfilly and telling her he thought she could do so much better hurts worse than any kind of physical pain

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>>29771454
Yip, thread tried that once, with Mrs. Clause mare present in RGREquestria and Anon full of curiosity trying to check if she's real or just a fairy tale for kids

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>>29771454
>>29773738
Sadly it was just a 1-2 posts long "I'm not gonna write it, just drop it in thread for writefags, because they totally just wait for my ideas to write green" promts (as always), but still nice
Inb4 rgre pony version of Rise of the Guardians

Page 7 no more

>>29766084
>>29766117
>>29766614
>The Mares are dumbfounded as the Doors are blocked by a dense wall of fog
>The dark and dank cellar became a barren wasteland under an Ashen Sky.
>The Sun is Eclipsed and instead of it's usual Corona, It's "leaking" fire into the horizon.
>Anon just smiles serenely while his clothes are burned off, his skin cracks revealing veins of liquid fire.
>Incredible heat can be felt from his now erect penis.
>Anonymous: Dong of Cinders

>>29774169
"You sluts aren't rolling away from this!"

>>29774189
>>29774169
>Due to unexpected help from the elements of harmony you managed to take Anon down, well make him kneel in exhaustion.
>Just you wait, after we take a nap. everyone will take their reveng-
>Anon is on fire now...his penis too.
>The ominous background music, Is someone playing the piano?
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6jxyQvynUI
>Holy Buck! Did he just throw a lightning bolt?
>Is Roseluck dea- oh she just came so hard she passed out.
>Buck! The Elements are still winded.
>This isn't fair.
>"Phase 2, cunts."

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>>29773035
You know what you need to do.

How does Anon get the prideful mares to let him pet them? I imagine that pones - especially RGRE mares - would feel that it's improper for something to pet them like an animal.

>>29774322
>How does Anon get the prideful mares to let him pet them
Whether they want it or not

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Alright, here's the dumbest shit
>Everyone killed by Stormbringer goes to RGREquestria
>Ponies are happy to have a sudden influx of stallions
>Elric forms a herd with Cymoril, Zarozinia, and Princess Luna

>>29774352
Your right, it is fucking stupid. Besides the fact a dirty knife ear wouldn't be a pony(Dear, cough cough), it isn't even remotely relevant and well known enough to be justified mentioning here.

>>29770824
I di-
>>29770860
...ow.

>>29774376
Leave the chat and actually come here and write once in a while. Its been awhile since you last did that.

>>29774352
I read a story like that once, but Moonglum was the one herding with Celestia

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Imagine being romanced by Rarity. She'd spare no expense and would make grand shows of affection. She'd make it her duty to make it be known that you are, without a doubt, loved.

>>29772885
>Be Anon.
>You're reading on the best places to touch to please a unicorn mare.
>You'll show Lyra you can out do her magic!
>You feel a tiny body snuggle against you.
>You look down and see Applebloom has pulled up another chair next to yours and is snuggling your side for warmth.
>Smiling you place the book down and begin to pet her back, as you do you feel another body now on your other side.
>Sweetiebell has curled into a ball against you.
>You pick both of them up and go find the library's couch and lay them both on your side to let them go to sleep.
>Soon after you close your eyes you open them to find Scootaloo laying down on your chest.
>You smile at the cuteness the tiny foals emit.
>…
>You're fucking Lyra when you get home.
>No condom.
>Five times.
>You need baby ponies, and the mint horse shall provide them.
>Possibly Bon Bon too if she gets home early enough.

>>29774476
I approve of this line of thought.

>>29774390
Chat? I'm not in a chat.

>>29774390
Also did write something a few days ago I was drunk and tired.

>>29774493
Ah, my apologies then, I just remember some fuckwad that offered the message, an assumed the worst. Glad I was wrong, and sorry for insinuating otherwise.
>>29774502
wasn't that the time when we had some rampant shitposting? Also, GET SOME SLEEP!

>>29772885
>ywn have a pack of tiny fillies desperately clinging to your back as you walk around, each of them getting an impromptu piggy-back on the tallest thing in Ponyville

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>>29774488
Dubs will it!
>Be Lyra.
>You're walking through the market looking for any mlh merch.
>Still glad you found not only a human, but a human who actually LIKES the show!
>Suddenly something grabs you and begins walking.
>You begin to panic!
>You look up at your captor and see Anon's signature suit.
>You calm down and go limp as you begin to think on why Anon would be carrying you.
>It's Tuesday so not mlh.
>You don't think he's sad, he's walking too fast.
>Wait... no...
>Panic begins to fill you as you look up to check his face.
>Sure as day you see it.
>It's the 'You better call in to work because I'm trying for some foals' face!
>You begin to flail with newfound vigour!
>You've gotta get away!
>You can handle a horny colt like Anon, but NO mare can handle a foal hungry Anon!
"A-Anon please! Think about this, d-do we really need foal?! W-We should wait a bit!"
>Anon just walks faster.
>You see Bon Bon as Anon walks by her stand.
"Bonnie, help me!"
>She just looks at you before quickly looking away.
>That bitch!
"You'll have to come home eventually traitor!"
>You call out before the Anon finally makes it to your house.
"Celestia help me!"
>"Not after last time, you're on your own" You hear Celestia call out.

>>29774516
No, raising spinos!

>>29774615
>"Not after last time, you're on your own" You hear Celestia call out
kek

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>>29774615
>"Not after last time, you're on your own" You hear Celestia call out.
oh lawd my sides

>tfw your horsebando is foal-crazy
>He talks about "starting a family" and "meeting your parents"
>Yak yak yak!
>All you want is a cider and your horseslippers after a long day at work. THEN you can talk about foals an' horseapples.

>>29774247
Anon and the ponies set up a roleplaying campaign like twilight did.
This time, Anon is the one DM'ing.
Promises to be fair.
Goes full Dark souls on them.
If they clear the campaign, they get to ask of one thing from him.
If they give up halfway through, Anon gets to do anything he wants to them.

>>29773005
I have a dog.

>>29774615
>>You see Bon Bon as Anon walks by her stand.
>"Bonnie, help me!"
>>She just looks at you before quickly looking away.
>>That bitch!
>"You'll have to come home eventually traitor!"
>>You call out before the Anon finally makes it to your house.

>"You're next, Bonnie Buns" Anon calls out to her as you pass.
>Her countenance falls.
>Serves her right for betraying you.

>>"Celestia help me!"

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>>29774615
ITS HAPPENING

>>29775045
>Goes full Dark souls on them
the only correct answer, git gud or go home

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>>29775170

>>29774623
....wat?

>>29774615
I am so happy I got the digits for this.

>>29775170
>>29775045
Damn straight, only the mareliest of mares can min max to the end and survive. Like Moondancer, Luna, Twilight(while drunk, she actively hates to be a shit to new DMs, especially a stallion), Starlight, Spike(just because he wants to learn how to be a man...or as close as he can), secretly Dash, Fluttershy, and finally Applejack.

>>29775287
I was on a game called ark. Going to bed now.

>>29775402
Goodnight m8, may you dream of riding dinos in a loincloth...or Ember.

Hey RGRE, I have the ending to a thing I wrote a long while back. Wanted to cap this little thing off so I could move on to other stuff without distractions or excuses. I'll be posting it in a second.

>>29775906
Neat.

>>29775906
Alrighty, this is the ending to Colts Don't Do That, an existing story found here. http://boards.4chan.org/mlp/thread/29765892#bottom

It's had a long, weird, jumbled development for such a relatively short thing that I feel it just needs to end. As such, here is the yet unposted and edited ending!

>”Hello, Applejack.” A Tatarusian voice greets, sending cold shivers down your spine.
>Ah, HERE’S the karmic punishment you ordered.
>This is where your hubris led, after all.
>Maybe if you’d been paying more attention to your surroundings instead of slack-jawing at the only regular stallion in your inner circle like desperate filly you might have noticed the ONE you should have been paying attention to all along when he went for a full frontal assault.
>You might’ve been able to slip into the restroom in time if that was the case.
>But it wasn’t, and now you were trapped in what was likely to be a testosterone-fueled storm the likes of which no mare had ever suffered.
>Not wanting to delay the inevitable any further you turn, summoning the closest thing to a pleasant expression you could as Caramel stared into you with his patent-pending ‘resting bastard face’.
>That very same face twitches slightly when its snout catches wind of something, and you can only guess what it is, but he seems to toss it aside for what’s to come.
>The chances that Mr. Caramel was a colt-cuddler had never been particularly good, but Celestia above you would have kissed the trouble making human’s SHOES if his recklessness had actually helped you once today.
>No such luck.
>”I’m glad to see all that ‘well-earned’ money you make is going to a good cause.” He remarks coolly, eyeing your milkshake.
>You instinctively slide the glass closer to yourself, fighting your knee-jerk reaction to be just as chilly with your reply.

>>29775940
>link to this thread

Oop, I... don't know how that happened...
HERE is the link. https://pastebin.com/Zm5br1uD

>>29775940
”Well thank you, ah try to enjoy the little things when ah can. ‘Course, ah could do without. Ah ain’t one to stress over little things, like some ponies.”
>Your tone-policing is, well, mostly successful, even if the part of your brain that was SUPPOSED to be picking the right words in touchy situations was clearly malfunctioning.
>The thin line of Caramel’s lips thin further, his opinion on your returning jab obvious.
>”I certainly wouldn’t want to bother you while you’re having such a fun time doing…” he pauses, his nose scrunching up in disgust as he catches another whiff of the human, “… WHATEVER it is you’re doing over here, but I felt like I should inquire as to when you’d be reimbursing me? I hate to interrupt of course, but it’s so hard getting ahold of you these days. Why, it’s almost as if you’ve been avoiding me...”
>What you have to assume is a wry and partially combative smile crosses your face.
“Well mister, I’d like ta’ help ya’ out, but ah’m afraid I ain’t got the foggiest what you mean. As ah recall you payed up fer ten apples and ah gave ya’ ten apples, just as advertised.” You reply with some aggression.
>You had to, it was practically the sixth time you’d said the same thing to the same colt in the last two days and it was getting you more than a little frustrated.
>Mr. ‘busy hooves and good times’ behind you wasn’t helping the situation, either.
>Your newest unsatisfied guest was certainly dulling your libido, but Anon’s scent was still there in the back of your mind, distracting you, riling up your aggression.
>”Gave me nine, you mean.” Caramel corrects firmly, narrowing his eyes at you. “Maybe if the Apples fretted over the ‘little things’ a little more you wouldn’t be so confidant SWINDLING ponies out of their fair share!”

>>29775953
>His accusation rallies his friends to mirror his sentiment instantly, quickly amping your one-on-one sass-off into a full blown mess of disdainful stallion chirping.
>Their attack is withering, certainly, but it’s nothing compared to the force of your pride as an honest business mare being threatened, and with the ‘S’ word to boot.
>It was a word Caramel had apparently become fond of recently, and it was one word that you wouldn’t abide being called regardless of what nethers the pony had who said it.
>You weren’t a swindler.
>Your FAMILY weren’t swindlers.
>It was high time you pulled your tail from out between your legs and set the record straight like a real mare would’ve when this all started.
>That, and the veritable pincer attack that was being levied on you right now by the collective male gender was running out your patience in record time, making a little cathartic shouting of your own feel very, very ‘right’.
“Now ya’ll see here!” You begin, puffing up your chest and silencing them with your own raised voice, your physical effort doing little to affect them otherwise.
“Ah dunno what ya’ll were doin’ once you left mah farm, but what I can tell ya’ is how many apples ya’ll left it with! There ain’t never been an Apple what’s swindled nopony nowhere for generations, and that-there’s a fact!”
>Caramel’s jaw tightens and he leans over your table, sticking his face close enough that you could smell the stale hairspray in his mane.
>”U-Um, Applejack? M-maybe—“
>”Until the day before yesterday!” Caramel rebukes, effortlessly crushing Fluttershy’s attempt to disarm the situation.
>At this point your volume has drawn attention from the other patrons, but you can’t find it in yourself to care.
“Says YOU!” You retort, feeling your nostrils flare with anger.

>>29775954
”And ah ain’t gonna have my family name drug ‘round in the dirt on acounta’ some empty-headed, prissy, spiteful little—!”
>Several moments of tension crawl by where the both of you say nothing, only staring each other down as you try to think of a properly harsh curse to top off your insult.
>You think of one.
>it’s RIGHT nasty, and you’re in just the sort of mood to let it slip.
>Which is why the saner, more mature part of your brain is secretly relieved that a third voice intervenes and stops you from saying it.
>Unlike Fluttershy’s attempt, this one carries a bit more weight.
>” Wait… were your apples in one of the big baskets? The black ones?” Anon asks, his face a strange mixture of cryptic smile and troubled eyes, “… And this happened the day before yesterday?”
>”W-Well… yeah…” Caramel returns, his stallionish passion deflating slightly, “SHE said they were out of the normal ones. Probably just another-another—”
>”I… might’ve… taken it.” The human forces out slowly, cautiously.
>Your perturbed expression melts away, your face becoming utterly neutral to coincide with your fury sputtering out in record time.
”…What?”
>”I didn’t – I mean, I heard you guys were on bad terms but I never—”
>You whip your head around, your braid swinging sideways to slap you in the side of the neck from the force.
>You give the large stallion a look that you can’t even quantify properly; your face is twisted into a combination of several expressions.
>He actually flinches from the force of it.
>”I am… SO sorry!” He continues through a nervous chuckle, clasping his claws together in front of himself and trading looks between the two of you, “I… I mean, I was going on break? The customer orders are ALWAYS loaded into the small beige ones and the fresh-picks are always in the big ones and I thought – I mean, I told granny I took one and she said it was—“

>>29775958
>You might not be able to pinpoint exactly what sort of face you’re making, but you know it intensifies with his blasé explanation, so much so that it interrupts his train of thought again.
>”Ah… ahahah… Sorry...” He apologizes again, his tone light, obviously trying to keep the situation from spiraling again.
>”I, uh… I guess this one WAS on us after all. Sorry about that.”
>Caramel places his hoof against him warm head and pats it gently in an effort to come back to his senses.
>His friends figuratively and literally begin backing off, putting an extra hoof or two between your table and their bodies and taking up less aggressive body language.
>The corner of your mouth twitches as your wheel back around.
>You’re looking directly into the space between Rarity and Pinkie, their expressions a vague picture your mind doesn’t bother to take.
>”Well… I guess I—ahem.” Caramel starts, coughing into his hoof before dropping the sentence and all its implications.
>”… I guess that could’ve gone better…” he settles on instead.
>”Ahh, see? It was just a misunderstanding. No ill will, nothing to get upset about, right?” Rarity comments with some optimism, obviously sensing an opportunity to improve the atmosphere further.
“… Mm.” You grunt after a moment, not feeling much up to talking after the embarrassment from making such a scene caught up with you.
>A lot of ponies, even Mr. Cake himself, are still cutting their eyes at your table anxiously.
>You can only thank your lucky stars that you didn’t get so say everything you wanted to say.
>That would’ve made things ten times worse.
>”Yes… I suppose it WAS silly to carry on like that…” Caramel replies quickly, smoothing his mane back a little and seating himself down on the linoleum.
>He looks in many different directions, occasionally flitting his eyes into yours for some further sign of conciliation.

>>29775970
>His guy-pals are now retreating back to their table, mumbling to themselves but otherwise leaving you be.
>You frown a little, reaching up to tug your Stetson down over your eyes.
“… Weren’t very mare-like carryin’ on like ah did, I reckon…” you concede with some difficulty, petting the side of your hat to give your fidgety hooves a task, “Sorry ‘bout that...”
>You can’t discern too much through your hat, but even so you can see Caramel’s face brightening.
>”Me too. I didn’t mean anything by it or anything, miss Applejack.” He states bashfully, rubbing his upper foreleg.
>Feeling that this theme of compromise and friendship was a sight better than what you had been engaging in before, you continue.
“Ah lose sighta’ mah temper sometimes, ain’t nothin’ personal or – well, ah guess… well, ya’ll know, ah guess.”
>The light brown stallion smiles a little and shakes his head, “No no, it’s fine. I understand.”
>He chuckles and pops a look in the direction of the human sitting next to you.
>”I know how the girls can get during the honeymoon phase, it’s a real ride. I mean – I’VE never experienced it, but I can guess how it’s like!” He chirps cheerfully.
“Haha, yeah—“ you start in good nature, eager to be agreeable but nonetheless paused by his strange statement.
“Honeymoon?” you return, furrowing your brow.
>Caramel’s brow jumps and he fires a quick look at the various occupants at the table all around you, offering you a confused look of his own.
>”W-Well yeah. You guys ARE, I mean…” he lifts a hoof and gestures to all of you vaguely.
>When nopony catches on he bristles slightly around the face and then rubs the back of his neck, an uncomfortable chuckle tumbling from his mouth.

>>29775981
>”Uh, well, I thought – what with him the way he is,” he says, giving Anon a subtle nodding to and then pausing again, clearly hoping for you to catch on, “Well… I figured you lovebirds were, you know… heading back to the nest?”
>Your brain chugs for a few seconds in an attempt to decipher his implication.
>You almost curse out loud when it all comes rushing back to you, your eyes widening.
>Like a moron you take an experimental sniff and suddenly the world tints a strange warm color, your heart strumming appreciatively.
>You were so, SO close to forgetting…
>For a little while you felt like a normal, right-headed mare and everything.
>A little hot-tempered, sure, but-but…
>You do it again without thinking.
>You breathe deep, too, and this time Anon’s riled up musk intermingles with the cologne from the stallion sitting before you for a dangerous combo.
>Your treacherous mind idly notes how cute Caramel looks in his tight little turtleneck before you can regain a handle on it and remind it what the rules are.
>”Oh, oh no, we and Anon aren’t…” Twilight starts to explain, lifting her forehooves defensively.
“No, no ma’am.” You choke out in agreement, meaning to brush his statement off calmly but flubbing the attempt in the current climate.
>The other mares nod and mumble similar sentiments.
>You couldn’t even look in Anon’s general direction anymore.
>The embarrassment he must be feeling right now…
>The silly colt had a little public singling-out lined up for him on account of his frivolousness, sure, but the second-hoof embarrassment stings more than you’re expecting.
>”What? Wait wait wait—“ He interjects, frowning as he scans through his peers, “I feel like you guys are going a mile a minute and I haven’t even – how ‘am’ I? Why does he think…?” The human trails off, venturing a confused smile.

>>29775982
>”Well…” Rarity replies with some incredulity, attempting to reel back a knowing grin, “Well REALLY sweetie, are you sure you have NO idea?”
>Fluttershy comes in quickly afterward, her face still noticeably flustered.
>”I-It’s not a big deal. We’re all adults… we understand. It’s normal.” She says just above a whisper, obviously trying to lessen his shame.
>You sneak a glance at him, and the human only looks more befuddled.
>”No, I don’t?” he answers, returning Rarity’s smug with some frustration, “What are you guys talking about? What’s normal?“
>He stops short, his face twisting as a thought visibly disturbs his expression.
>Finally, inevitably, karmically perhaps, he sets his eyes on the Pegasus seated next to you.
>Dash doesn’t look back, instead choosing to shakily sip from her drink.
>You can practically feel the heat radiating off of her as she sweats in her seat under the male’s gaze.
>”Dash? What did you…?” he starts, the disbelief clear in his voice.
>In her defense, the Pegasus almost lasts a few seconds before utterly losing her backbone.
>”I didn’t see anything! I-I mean, ahh, horseshoes! I didn’t WANT to say what I – I mean, they MADE ME—” she rambles desperately, looking around at everpony for help that wasn’t coming, certainly not after she just tried to pawn the blame off on them.
>”T-… Twilight DREW IT!”
>”What!?” Twilight barks, blind-sided, her eyes widening when she, presumably, realizes that neither of the hooves she’d just been waving at Caramel with were now covering the ‘artwork’ lying on the seat beside her.
>She pales slightly and slams her hoof back down to cover it, but it’s too late.
>Even if Anon didn’t see what was on the page he definitely saw her jerky movement to cover it before he did.
>”Maybe I should go…“ Caramel mumbles as he backs up, not fully debriefed on the situation but clearly eager to escape before it developed.

>>29775987
>”So… so you ALL know I was—” Anonymous begins, cherry-faced, his eyes leaping from mare to mare before settling on the lavender librarian.
>“Wait… drew ‘what’!?” he asks urgently.
“Uhh, C-Caramel an’ ah REALLY should talk about reimbursement fer his troubles. If ah could just, uhh, just...” you prattle nervously, trying to somehow squeeze your way over the human’s lap without feeling like a creep before abandoning that and entertaining the idea of dipping under the table and crawling out instead.
>”It looks really nice?” Pinkie chimes in dimly, her anxious attempt to smooth things over dooming you further.
>”‘It’?” Anon parrots, his brow easing up as he lifts one of his hands to cover it.
>”Oh… my god.” He chuckles, donning an uncomfortable smile as he rubs his forehead.
>“… There’s a cock on that pad, isn’t there?”
“C-CARAMEL.” You call out desperately, voice cracking.
>The tan-coated stallion has his back turned to your table and continues speed-walking away as if he can’t hear you.
>He doesn’t even look back.
>”I’m SO SORRY!” Fluttershy laments, folding hard before any blame on her part could even be implied.
>”But really, darling, Dash didn’t need to say anything. I mean, you ‘are’ right here. It’s not like we don’t have noses.” Rarity asserts cautiously.
>Anon groans and drops his hand onto the table, his eyes scrunched shut, clearly past the point of simple discomfort.
>”Are you saying… are you saying you can SMELL when I’m in the mood?”
>The awkward pause to end all awkward pauses begins just as prophesied, but not AT ALL like you were expecting.
>Under the table is out.
>The human’s legs are too long, too close to the center pole holding up your table.

>>29775994
>Your only chance now is to try and squeeze your way under his legs and thighs, which is pretty out, or slide your stomach over his lap and, possibly, graze his groin several times on the way, which is DEFINITELY out.
>You can’t win.
>You can’t escape.
>You can’t breathe.
>How strange you look huddling your head under the table isn’t even registering compared to what the atmosphere must be like in the surface world as all females present, you have to assume, came to similar conclusions.
>A colt being a huge tease is enough.
>Plays about, winks, gets the funnies over riling mares up and playing hard to get.
>Mean, dangerous, maybe even a little exciting, but that was serviceable.
>They know what they’re doing; it just comes down to giving them a firm talking to and straightening them out to be proper gentlecolts.
>’This’ isn’t that.
>He doesn’t know.
>How does he not?
>How long has he not?
>Has he done this before and nopony has said anything to him?
>He’s like… Celestia, he’s like the ‘innocent but needy’ college pinups in the mare magazines Dash collects, with the little blurbs about how inexperienced but willing they are (along with their firmly defined age) propped up next to images of them splayed out in compromising positions in cheerleading uniforms.
>The draw is that their supposed to be pure of mind even if you know the colts on the page have probably been around the square a few times.
>Anon is the real deal; he ACTUALLY doesn’t know what he’s doing.
>Horseapples… he’s a virgin, isn’t he?
>… what have you done?
>”U-Uh, w-well… I mean, it’s not like you… um… we…” Twilight tries.
>It’s too late, filly.
>There’s no smooth way out of this now.
>The only thing left is to escape; live to fight another day.
>”… Uhh, welp! W-Wouldja’ look at the time!” Pinkie exclaims after sucking the rest of her drink down in the blink of an eye.
>Right on cue.

>>29772885
>Be Self-insert Anon
>I mean, who else would you be on this board? an un-relatable anon? A stallion? a *femanon*?
>pls.
>You were currently walking home after your daily trip to the market
>Yeah, having to pick up your dinner every night was a bit of a hassle
>Though, the way this town was laid out was almost like everypony got together and said "businesses on this side, homes on that side, markets in the middle."
>...knowing these horses, they probably did
>Anyway.
>You're on your way home after stopping by Sweet Pea's stall and giving him his nightly headpats
>Silly horse befriended you almost as soon as you showed up here
>You had to get used to the... affection, but.
>Over time you were able to figure it out
>Strangers? Body posturing, mostly. Subconscious attempts to figure out if the stranger is a friend or foe - and to space yourself out regardless
>Basically, Finland.
>Acquaintances? Then you've got a closer pone, but that's about it. But, they'll also turn their back on you sometimes, and as a prey species that's apparently a big deal.
>Friends?
>Hoo boy.
>At first you thought Sweet Pea and the other guys were lightweight drunks, but no
>Leaning on each other is apparently a "friendly" thing to do.
>As is hugging
>And grooming.
>. . .
>You inhale deeply and clear your mind; the threat of fully remembering the Spa/Bathhouse incident too much for your sober self
>Herd? Literally the only thing you won't see them do to each other in public is actual sex and hoofholding in the missionary position for the sole purpose of bonding
>Sometimes, this was disgusting
>Sometimes, this was hilarious
>There's a reason the apples keep granny away on the farm
>So deep are you in your thoughts that it was with great surprise to you when Derpy, ass-first, slammed into the mailbox to your immediate right before slowly spiraling like a confused, fluffy top into the dirt of the road

>>29775996
>She doesn’t even get to finish her thought before five mares, you included, begin to not-so-subtly push to their left, jamming the pony in that direction farther over until the cork that is the pink party pony is dislodged from the bottleneck that is her seat, freeing up the space for a steady stream of mares to hurriedly file out.
>”Break’s over! Guess I better be getting’ back to the old, uh, the old grindstone!” Pinkie stumbles anxiously, already scooting away from your party a hoof at a time as the lot of you swim out of the booth.
>”Y-Yes! I should get back to the boutique, too. Things are probably piling up and I, uh, well… yes! So long…” Rarity adds.
>You, obviously, are the last one out of the booth, and it takes an agonizingly long time for you to free yourself from its clutches.
“A-Apples—“ you mumble fearfully amongst the other murmured excuses of your friends.
>”Yes! Okay… right… okay.” Anon returns, seemingly just as anxious to be alone as you were ready to leave him.
>You see him lift his hand to wave you all goodbye before tensing up and dropping it back to the table.
>Dash, as a stark difference from the rest of you, quickly smooths back her mane, puts on a smile and turns back to him.
>She leans up and plants a foreleg on the table in front of him, but before she can say anything you have her by the multi-colored tail.
>”O-Oh! Oh c’mon! I’m just! I mean… he’s TOTALLY… C’MOOON. FIIIINE.” She whines as you drag her towards the exit.
>The six of you step out into the fresh out and offer each other less than a nod before parting ways, some leaving more begrudgingly than others.
>Anon’s failed wave is the last thing you see of him.
>No, that isn’t quite right and you know it.
>This story isn’t over, you just don’t want to think about it.
>He works for you.
>He’s an employee.
>You’re going to see him again tomorrow, bright and early.

>>29775996
oh shit I'm sorry I wasn't even paying attention - I just saw a prompt I liked and started to write

>>29776001
>And then the next day, and then the next; every day for the foreseeable future.
>The gravel beneath your hooves shifts and crunches loudly as your steady, measured walk amps up into a canter.
>… and then a run
>… and then full on sprinting, the wind whipping by your ears as you power on to nowhere for nopony.
>As fast as you can, as long as you can, an eager attempt to burn the human out of your veins and your mind.
>It doesn’t work.
>Not even after you reach the farm.
>Not even as your take a sharp turn at the entrance, ignoring Mac’s troubled but curious expression as you bolt by him and into the field.
>Not even after you lose count of the number of laps around the orchard you’ve completed so far, the sun dying away and bathing the field you patrolled with undying heat and energy in a cool, calm night that battled your searing skin with every lost degree.

>>29774615
Go on.

>>29775948
Kek, ghouls did a goof.

>>29775998
Really man? Right in the middle of a rare update too.

>>29776008
It's all gud B, I'm done.

>>29776011
As previously stated, that's the end of that one shot. Dunno if anyone was really waiting on this with baited breath, but I hope you guys enjoyed it all the same.

Just for convenience's sake, the pastebin link to the whole thing can be found here: https://pastebin.com/Zm5br1uD

>>29776025
Ayy, gimme a break. My brain is only partially intact over here.

>>29776031
Sorry, there's a traffic jam on the discord for posting our stories. LAP, please post yours.

>>29776041
Love you 5eva. I'm really sorry.

>>29776047
>there's a traffic jam on the discord for posting our stories
>posting our stories

H-.... Habbening?

>The following few weeks went by in a blur
>You woke up, went to the library and struggled through dull, dry textbooks
>After you finished a few chapters of whatever you happened to be reading that day, Lord Aegis would barge in and take you to the field for some training
>When that was finished, you went back to reading
>And if you thought you were busy, your duties were nothing compared to your lord’s
>For days at a time he was holed up in his quarters
>He saw to getting men and supplies ready for your journey
>Everything from grain to weapons had to be bought or forged in the short time that the king had given you
>Hundreds of letters were received and sent to the king and even Equestria itself
>From what you've heard, the Equestrians weren't too happy with the fact that King Drfual wanted to send someone in his stead
>They had important matters to discuss; matters that they didn't trust any with but the king
>The fact that the king was sending Lord Aegis, a lord who openly despised non-humans and had been a blood-thirsty bandit once upon a time, probably added to their reluctance
>But King Drfual was insistent
>Lord Aegis was more of a brother to him than his own kin
>If they wouldn't speak with him than they wouldn't be spoken to at all
>The princesses had, of course, tried to protest, but the king wouldn't hear any of it
>In the end, they had agreed for your lord to enter their kingdom, even offering to send their personal train to transport all of you
>Humeyithal, of course, had no trains or railways, so you and your group of thirty knights had had to march all the way over to the minotaur lands so that you could use their railways
>In secret, of course; your lord wasn't going to be escorted anywhere by the empress's soldiers
>So, after almost two months of preparation, you, lord Aegis, and his personal guard packed up your things, said your goodbyes, and left the safety of castle Nurgle
>The trip to the minotaur lands, all-in-all, was a pleasant one

>>29775998
>Anon encountering pony body language
yes

>>29776061
>The skies were free of rain
>No one tried attacking or stealing from your band
>There were no injuries except for one knight accidentally chopping the tip of his thumb off while he was juggling knives
>The cows mostly kept to themselves
>The few that you did meet were polite, if a bit grabby
>In less than five days you all had found the train station where the princesses personal train was waiting
>It was a massive thing, made entirely of metal with black smoke coming out of its top
>When you had first seen it you had thought it was some great monster
>But, walking up to it and placing your hand on one of it's massive wheels showed you that it was nothing more than a machine
>A machine unlike any that you've ever seen, but a machine nonetheless
>Since all of you were eager to let this great metal thing do the walking for you, you had all piled into it
>That was when the trip took a turn for the worse
>This train was nothing like a manticore or even a wagon
>It was loud, rocked back and forth, and moved far, far too fast
>Twenty minutes into the ride some of the men started to get sick
>Twenty minutes after that everyone was sick
>Beautifully crafted windows were yanked open so knights could empty their stomachs on the sides of the train
>Every bathroom was continuously filled
>A pair of knights would always be at the back of the train desperately holding onto the edge of the railing as they puked
>It was horrible
>You couldn't read any of the books you had brought because every time you did you got sick
>Mouth-watering treats. Candies and chocolates and the like were stocked in the trains larder, but none of you could eat it because you couldn't hold anything down
>There were a pair of servants on the trip, big, strapping black stallions in bright red vests that tried to help you as best as they could, but it was no use

>>29776063
>In the end, you had all huddled on the floor, refusing to look through the windows, hugging your legs to your stomachs while Lord Aegis swore loudly and often that you weren't going to take this monster back
>And, to be honest, you didn't have a problem with that
>A week's worth of hard marching was leagues better than this…
>You might have gotten sore legs, but you’d rather have that than puking up your body weight...
>For three days and three nights you all suffered like this
>You had wanted to speak to the stallions, since you had never seen a pony before, but you were all so sick and Lord Aegis's temper was so foul by the end of the first day they only came into your section of the train to give you water and what little food you could choke down
>You didn't get to see the land change from the rough and rocky lands of the minotaurs to the wide, open plains of the buffalo
>Los Pegasus went by unnoticed, as did the White Tails Woods and Ponyville
>But, as you were traveling through the Everfree forest, you finally managed to peek out a window without wanting to puke your guts out
>That was when you saw it
>The white city of Canterlot
>It loomed over everything, perched atop of the largest mountain on the unicorn range
>Massive, majestic, perfect
>High, white walls
>Towers tipped with gold
>A massive waterfall streaming out of its middle
>It looked like a city where the angels would live...
>"Do you see it, boy?"
>You tore your gaze from the Equestrian capital to look at your lord
>Lord Aegis had his back pressed up against the wall, his eyes closed and his face green
>In his hands he held his iron-studded club
>It was a big, heavy thing you knew
>Made out of walnut and just as tall as you
>The same one that he had used to kill the last minotaur empress, one of the knights had told you
>But you knew that wasn’t true
>You knew the stories like any other boy your age

>>29776070
>That particular club had split in half when your lord had used it to cave in the empress’s head
"See what, my lord?"
>Your lord covered his face with a hand, tapping the tip of his club against the floor
>His face contorted, and you half expected him to jump up and run to the bathroom or to the back of the train
>But, with a show of will, he beat his sickness down
>Taking a few deep breaths, he let out a quiet groan
>"I swear to the gods that I'm going to kill him," he muttered to himself. "I'm going to take this club and beat his brains out for making me come to this horse-infested shitehole..."
>The wall creaked as he pressed his weight against it, looking as miserable as you felt
>Breathing in deeply, he opened an eye and looked at you
>"Do you see the capital? Do you see Canterlot?"
"Yes my lord," you said with a nod. "I can see it off in the distance."
>"Good, that means we'll be getting out of this metal demon soon."
>You looked back out the window
"It's a very pretty city, my lord," you told him. "It's so... big, and white, and gold..."
>Don't let it's looks fool you boy," your lord said. "There's nothing pretty about that city."
>Still looking out the window, you nodded again
>You had read enough to know that the city of Canterlot had a bit of a reputation
>Every mare and stallion that lived there had royal blood in some way or another, from the shopkeepers to the guards
>It was a close knit city
>The nobles protected their own fiercely
>They also had a very bad habit of indulging in some very dark vices
>Male trafficking, drugs, black magic, kidnapping, rape, murder
>Most ponies didn't speak of it; most didn't know about it
>If a stallion went missing or a mare wound up dead almost no one was ever prosecuted
>The guard was so corrupt that all one needed to do was toss some bits at the right ponies and all of the evidence would disappear
>Over the years, the princesses had done their best to clean up the city, but with very little success

>>29776074
>Princess Celestia and Luna might have ruled Equestria, but it was the nobles that ran Canterlot
>And they weren't the type to give their power up freely
>A shiver ran through you when you remembered a passage from one of the books that the king had given you
>Apparently some of the viler nobles like to take male children
>The book didn't say what they did to them, only that their families never saw them again...
>Your lord tapped his club against the floor with a little more force
>The loud thud it produced made you jump
>Tensing, you looked over at him
>"Remember to stick close to us at all times, boy. Don't eat or drink anything we don't drink. If a pony says something to you or you think they're trying to bewitch you tell me so I can bash their heads in," he said, eyes still closed
>You nodded
"Yes my lord."
>"Always be on guard. They'll have eyes on us every second that we're here."
"Yes my lord."
>"And if you're stupid enough to get lost, remember your training. You might be a little shite but you're still of our Order."
>You looked down at your side, where a small knife hung from your belt
>You might not have had a sword or an axe like the other knights--mostly because you weren't allowed to carry one yet--but you knew how to use this knife
>...
>At least you hoped so...
"Yes my lord."
>Grumbling to himself, lord Aegis grabbed the edge of a chair and pulled himself to his feet
>"Alright lads! Get up and get ready. We'll be in that whore of a capital soon and when we step out of this train I want those ponies to see Knights of the Red Heart, not a bunch of great horned girls!"
>Groans erupted from all around you
>Pained, sickly groans
>Nevertheless, you saw knights slowly climbing to their feet

>>29776079
>"Boy, go and fetch my armor. We'll show these ponies who they’re dealing with..."

~_~_~_~_~_~

>Silence greeted you as you stepped off of the train
>There was no shouting, no crowds
>The entire station seemed deserted
>It was only when you had all exited the train did you see a group of ponies making their way toward you
>There were a group of guards and two mares
>These mares were simply dressed, but they had the look of nobles about them
>...At least you think they did
>You had no idea how a normal pony carried themselves...
>Seeing your lord, the two mares bowed
>"Greetings, lord Aegis. I trust that your trip was a pleasant one."
>Your lord, still a bit green, pushed you behind him
>"It was... something," he replied, eyeing the guards
>Lifting their heads, the mares smiled
>They weren't very nice smiles you noticed
>There wasn't any warmth or joy in them
>In fact, they almost seemed... cold, predatory
>"Her royal highness Princess Celestia sends her deepest apologies that she couldn't come down to greet you herself. Something very important came up at the castle, so she sent two of her most trusted servants in her stead. I'm lady Butterscotch and this is--"
>Lord Aegis took a step toward the two
>These ponies weren't very tall, maybe a little bigger than a wolf hound, but compared to your lord they looked like toys
>Many of the guards took a nervous step back
>Even the noble's hollow smiles lessened just a hair
>"Let's get on to the castle," your lord said, looking over the two at the street
>Your lord’s dismissiveness seemed to throw off the mares, but only for a moment
>"Of course, my lord," one of them said. "We're sure that the trip was hard on you and these other lovely stallions. Please, allow us to escort you to the castle
>Nodding, lord Aegis turned back toward you and the knights
>"Boys, formation."
>Armor rattled as the knights formed up
>Two knights stood on either side of lord Aegis

>>29776083
>You stood behind your lord, holding his mighty club
>Weapons weren't drawn, but you could see from the looks on some of your fellows faces that they wouldn't hesitate to draw steel if needed
>The noblemares must have saw this, because their smiles became a bit more forced
>"Yes, well, let's be off. We wouldn't want to keep their majesties waiting now, would we?"
>The mares turned around
>One of them let out a whistle that had the guards scrambling to flank them
>"Now, if you'd follow us gentlecolts."
>With that, you all stepped out onto the streets of Canterlot
>There were ponies everywhere, you saw
>Merchants, nobles, and workers walked this way and that
>A hundred different smells filled the air
>Ponies were laughing, screaming, hawking their wares
>It was just like back at home, except instead of humans, waist-high ponies were running around...
>The noblemares lead you through the crowds, using the guards to push ponies aside
>Your lord and the rest of your group made sure to keep a healthy distance away from them
>To your left and right, you could see knights scanning the crowds, their hands on their weapons
>"Keep an eye open boys," you lord said. "Don't let any of them get too close."
>You could see mares eyeing your group
>Most of the glances were just curious
>Others, however... weren't
>"Don't worry about the crowds, my lord. The guards will keep them in check," one of the noblemares said, looking back at him with a smile
>Your lord grunted, too focused on scanning faces to pay her much mind
>"Yes, we'll get you up to the castle in a jiffy. Though, if you'd permit, I'd be happy to point out some of our more famous landmarks on the way."
>One of the knights leaned forward and whispered something in lord Aegis's ear
>Your lord nodded, slowly wrapping an arm around the knights on either side of him
>The noblemare, somehow, took that as a yes

>>29776090
>"Great! If you’d look to your left, you'll see the famous Canterlot theater, where ponies such as the great Twinkle Hooves and Marquee Strings played so long ago..."
>The mare continued to chatter, pointing at this building and that
>While she did so, your lord pointed out one of the alleyways that you were coming up to
>The noblemares and guards, so focused on talking and leading that way, they didn't notice when the front row of your formation turned toward it
>Keeping in formation, the rest of you followed, slipping into the alley with your guides none the wiser
>Somehow...
>"Remember that we have to make our way to that bloody castle sometime today, lads," your lord said, looking behind him. "Now come on, let's go before someone has the sense to tell them that we've left."
>The ponies wanted to take you through the main road
>This was where they could have guards stationed to keep an eye on everything
>They had been no doubt cleaned every inch of this road and its shops, and the nobles had been no doubt warned about misbehaving
>The princesses wanted the city to be on its best behavior while you all were here
>Your lord had said as much before you had all gotten on the train
>He had also said that nothing brought out the true face of a city like walking through its alleyways
>And you hadn't come to Canterlot to see it drawn up in a false light
>So marching through alleyways you went
>The chattering of the ponies lessened the deeper you went into the darker parts of the city which, oddly enough, was still clean
>Not clean-clean, but far cleaner than an alleyway should be
>No rats ran amok, and what garbage there was had been placed in metal cans
>The walls even looked like they had been scrubbed recently
>"Huh, still clean," one of the knights said as he looked around. "'Wonder if they just went and cleaned the whole city for us..."
>"Maybe," your lord said as you all turned a corner. "Or maybe ponies just like to--"

>>29776095
>A high-pitched, terrified scream filled the air
>The noise made you jump
>What was that...?
>Without hesitation, the knights drew their weapons
>"That came from the left," one of them said
>"Maybe a hundred feet away, if these damned walls aren't throwing the voice," another added
>Your lord, who hadn't drawn his club, frowned
>"Keep in formation," he ordered. "We're going to see who's screaming. Boy, if you hit me with my club I’m going to feed you your own shoes."
>You twitched, looking down to see that you were clenching your club as if you meant to swing it
"Y-Yes my lord."
>Lord Aegis nodded
>"Good lad. Now let's move out."
>Armor rattled and rubbed together as you picked up your pace
>Drawing closer to the origin of the noise, you could hear the sounds of a struggle
>"P-Please, I don't have--"
>"Shut your bucking mouth."
>"Applewood! Get that bucking shot. I need this colt nice and hard."
>"D-Don't hurt m-me. I'll give y-you--OW!"
>"I said shut your bucking mouth. Everclear, get those ropes. I don't want him kicking when we start."
>A sob filled the air
>Your lord and his knights picked up their pace
>"There we go... Shush, shush, it's alright. My girls and I just want to have a little fun before we send you home."
>"B-B-But I can't--"
>"Shush, just shut that pretty trap of yours and let the medicine do its work."
>Turning one final corner, you saw them
>A trio of mares hiding their faces behind a red cloth surround a bruised, crying stallion
>One of them was holding a knife to the stallions throat while another was tying him up with some rope

>>29776101
>Seeing this, lord Aegis's eyes narrowed
>Signaling his knights to stop, he drew himself up to his full height and marched over to the would-be rapists
>The ponies, so focused on the crying stallion, didn't notice as he slipped behind the mare holding the knife
>Looking down at her, he cleared his throat
>The mare tensed, whipping around with weapon at the ready
>"Who the buck...!"
>She trailed off when she saw lord Aegis standing there with his arms crossed
>Her eyes widened
>"I would suggest that you drop that knife," your lord said. "Otherwise--"
>With a yell, the mare darted forward
>She thrust her knife into your lord's armored belly
>Or at least tried to
>There was a spark as metal hit metal
>Your lord's platemail, made of the finest northern steel that could be bought, took the blow with ease
>The knife wasn't so lucky, snapping in half and cutting the mare’s cheek and lip
>Lord Aegis let out a sigh as the mare reeled back, letting out a cry of pain
>"I did try to let you surrender peacefully," he said. "Just remember that."

~_~_~_~_~_~_~

>Be Twilight Sparkle, newly crowned princess of Equestria
>It was an exciting day
>No!
>It was THE most exciting day!
>You were finally going to meet humans!
>One of the most reclusive creatures on Equus was coming to the castle as we speak!
>And you had soooooo many questions!
>Questions about their culture, their people, how they did things and why they did them
>Ohyouweresoexcited!

>>29776107
>Princess Celestia, who was sitting next to you on her throne, let out a chuckle
>"I don't think I've seen you this excited in a very long time, my dear student."
>You stopped your excited, happy-fun-time wiggles to look at the princess
>Realizing that you were probably making a fool of yourself--who were you kidding, of course you were--a blush came to your face
"Sorry, princess..."
>Smiling, Princess Celestia wrapped a wing around your shoulder
>"There's no need to be sorry, Twilight. You have every right to be excited. It has been a very long time since a human has entered these halls."
>Long time?
>Try almost TWO HUNDRED YEARS!
>Even dragons made their way to Canterlot every few years or so!
>...
>No, bad Twilight
>You were a princess now
>No matter how excited you were, you needed to act like it
>Taking a deep breath, you leaned into your teacher's touch, letting it calm you
>While you did that, your eyes wandered toward the door
>They would be here any moment…
>You were about to see history in the making...
"It's too bad Luna couldn't be here to greet them with us..."
>"I would have these humans be eased into our negotiations as gently as possible," Celestia said. "This lord Aegis has a bit of a... reputation and you know how Luna is around stallions."
>You couldn't help but wiggle again
>Ohh!
>You were going to learn SO MUCH these next few days...
>Maybe you'd even--
>Your ears perked up as a sound wafted into the room
>What was that...?
>Leaning forward, you listened hard
>It almost sounded like armor banging together
>As the sound grew closer, you could hear yelling right outside of the door
>"Sir! State you busin--"
>"Move."
>"Sir! I must--"
>"Move. Now."
>"A guard scurried into the room, pale and wide-eyed
>"P-Princess!"
>Without saying a word, Princess Celestia rose to her hooves

>>29776113
>You stood up as well, your horn crackling to life
>What the hay was going on?
>Were you being attacked?
>Was it the Changelings again?
>Did something happen to the humans?!
>Pleasepleaseplease don't' be that!
>Five seconds later you saw who was causing all of this commotion
>An armored human, stepped into the throne room
>Tucked under a arm was a mare, bloodied and bruised
>Tucked under his other arm was a shaking, crying stallion
>...
>Huh...
>He tossed the mare over to you and Princess Celestia
>She hit the ground before either of you could grab her with your magic
>She let out a whimper from the impact, curling into a ball
>More humans began making their way into the throne room, looking just as happy as the giant
>You noticed that they were carrying two mares, just as bloody and bruised as the one at your hooves
>Gently setting down the stallion, the giant human dusted himself off
>"Good afternoon, ladies," he said, wiping a bit of blood from his face. "I am lord Aegis. My king sends his greetings."
>Your teacher, ever cool under fire, was the one that managed to find her voice
>”Yes, well... hello to you too."

>>29776116
Alright, I'm done

Yugi

>>29775998
More?

>>29776116
Oh great, LAP is an SJW now.

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>>29776122
Just don't turn it into Anon fucking every princess around, please

>>29775998
>The cartoon physics of this world stop her from being hurt - thankfully - but you stop in your tracks
>Derpy doesn't know you too well, so rushing in on her right now would spook the poor thing
>And you're not going to make another one of these little horses cry
>You will protect their smile
"Derpy, are you alri-"
>"HHM OHFAY"
>Hefting her weight she rights herself, spitting out the dirt and grass that cushioned her landing
>"I-I'm, I'm OK! Gosh Mr. Anon - I'm sorry, I didn't see you-"
>You smile and crouch down, making yourself a bit more approachable
>It's been your goal to be on friendly terms with as many ponies as you can, just because it makes living in a small town much more bearable
>Might as well add another new friend to your list
"It's alright, Derpy, it's alright. You sure you're doing ok? I think I see a scrape-"
>You point to her foreleg, where under her soft gray fur you notice a small patch of brown-red clay
>"Oh?"
>Derpy moves around in a tight circle, like a dog settling down for a nap
>"I don- oh!"
>Finally noticing her foreleg she gives it a few bends
>"Bah, this is nothing - but thank you for letting me know!"
"Are you sure? I think I have a Band-Aid here-"
>You sling your messenger bag to your front
>It's a messenger bag, you swear
>Not a purse
>no matter what caramel and the other guys say
>And quickly pop it open, rummaging around for your small emergency kit
>What? Don't look at me like that
>These horses don't even have penicillin
"Ah-"
>You undo the small clasp and pull out a band-aid, holding it towards Derpy with an open palm
"It's here if you'd like it. No worries if not."
>"H-heh, uh. J-just like a stallion to ha-have what you need. Ah-"
>Blushing, she paws the ground a bit, before looking at your hand
>Here we go

>>29775998
>She slowly comes towards you, keeping an eye on both you and your hand
>Clever
>She stops halfway, mid-step, before leaning forward - sniffing your hand and your offering
>Aaaaaaaaannnnnn-
>Looking up at you with a soft blush she places her muzzle into your hand, taking the band-aid with her mouth
>"F-fank yuh, Mr. Ahnon."
>Smiling, you lean forward, 'nuzzling' her cheek with your hand
>She breaks out in a wide smile, the bandaid travelling with her lips and.... getting stuck on her cheek
>Whelp.
>Nothing you wouldn't help your new friend out here with
"Derpy, let me just get that for you...."
==================

The end. I just wanted to try something that played on the "ponies have animal traits" + "ponies have alien customs" kinda tropes that show up every once in a while.

>>29776300
>Every princess
Only best princess, Celestia

>>29776122
Nice cant wait to see where this goes

>>29776300
Anon's what, 10? If anything I think it's more likely if Celestia goes up and say "Hey kid, wanna /ss/?"

>ghouls
>followed by lap
>followed again by bnw
holy shit

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>>29776465
it's all not real. it's april fools.
once april fools ends, they will all disoppear

>>29776518
I hate april fools with a deep burning passion. How dare these people have fun

>>29776011
Anon's going to wake up one morning with a pony's nose in his crotch, isn't he? Good stuff ghouls, can't wait for more

>>29776122
Very nice Sir.

>>29776047
If its a sojourn out of that shithole then by all means your forgiven.

>>29776310
What is this about?
>>29776527
yup

page 10!

>>29777163
SHEEIIIIIIT

>>29776001
>Dash immediately turns around and tries to hit on him
kek
That was perfect.

>>29776116
>>29776122
I AM INTEREST
also this story has a decidedly darker tone than usual

>>29776122
thing is gud.
need more thing.

>>29776041
Ghouls, I just want you to know I'm dissapointed that it's a one shot. I want more. but otherwise I loved it thanks for finishing it finally.

Alright RGRE, I've been gone for a while what did I miss? Did that one guy ever make more writefag pones?