RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

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>Be careful who you make fun of in highschool

>>29529822
we Russia now?

>>29529863
In this thread, gender roles reverse YOU.

Updated prompt collection:
http://pastebin.com/GgD2Yvkv

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>>29529854
>Fluttershy is like the gangly geek in school who grew up into an Adonis with a 6-pack and a 9 inch dick.
>In pone terms, she has the biggest, softest wings, a huge tuft, and a cunt tight enough to crush an aluminum baseball bat.
>The damage was done, though, so she never lost her demure attitude or geeky interests despite being a jaw dropping 11/10.

>>29529942
well, she was a supermodel.

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>>29529942
>ywn cuddle Fluttershy on the couch and watch shitty movies.
I-I'm ok, no problems here!

>>29529942
Because humanity was on the defensive and moving their best weapons near the rift runs the risk of them being quickly destroyed.

>>29529870
>In this version of RGRE, there is an isolated kingdom of humans, led by Prince Scorpan
>Seeing humans is incredibly rare, they keep to themselves and avoid contact with the world outside their kingdom
>Celestia still gets bills from their kingdom, demanding that she pay for their border wall.
>Anon shows up
>Ponies assume it's Prince Scorpan, venturing out of his kingdom ANONYMOUSly to learn about the outside world
>Something Something RGRE™

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Would you open up and run a mare only bathouse?

>>29529978
Suuurre, that's the answer and not 'explosions and guns.'
>First line of defense is definitely not costly to fix
>Humanity having their strongest weapons nearby would of course have no impact on them being on the defensive
Seems irrelevant to 'Something Something RGRE', so let's drop it.

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http://pastebin.com/u/CaptainAnonymous

>Oh dear, oh dear oh dear.
>"What do you think you're doing huh?!"
>You were making your way towards Twilights castle, before...
"W-well, um, you see there were these ducklings, a-and-"
>"What?! I can't even hear you! Are you brain damaged or something?! What is wrong with you?!"
>You keep backing up from the very large, very angry female Minotaur.
>She snorts, keeping pace with you, storming towards you as her hands clench and unfurl, then clench into fists again.
"I-I was j-just trying, trying to-"
>"Do you think it's funny messing with me, huh?! Do you think it's funny now?!"
"Oh no, oh my no, I, I didn't mean to-"
>You back up into a tree, letting out a squeak.
>And then a louder squeak as she grips you by the tuft.
>Oh heck that smarts...
>She lifts you up along the tree until you're eye level with her, lumpy bark digging into you and fleks breaking off in your mane and tail, as you quiver in fear.
"I-I'm sorry."
>Your eyes are watering now, a few tears rolling down your face as you desperately hope that'll be the end of it.
>"You're sorry? You're sorry?! Oh no, you're not sorry yet!"
>She raises up her fist, and pulls it back as she scowls at you.
>You want your Daddy....

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>>29529942
>>29529959
She was indeed a supermodel, and she was ALSO bullied in flight school...

Canon.

>>29530070
>"Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing?!"
>You're dropped to the floor, letting out an 'oof' sound.
>"What's it to you?!"
>Oh no...
>Nonny, please, get out of here.
>Maybe if it was a male Minotaur threatening you, you might feel relieved...
>But this is a fully grown, enraged female Minotaur.
>And judging from how she hasn't instantly gone into flirting mode at the sight of such a giant bull, a 100% lesbian too, so his coltish charms won't work!
>"That's my friend, and I aint gonna let some weird cow imitation of a babe hurt her!"
>He strides towards her.
>"Oh yeah? You'd better get out of here cum pump, before I hit you so hard your mom will feel it!"
>Oh no, that's gonna be really hard...
>He stamps right up to her, a whole head taller than the huge Minotaur.
>"Oh yeah? Well I'll hit you so hard all your male ancestors will feel it, and by the time my fist gets to your momma, all it'll do is write down where she can find me so I can take her out for a nice lobster dinner, and then I'll NEVER call her again."
>She backs off, stumbling a little as a look of fear marks her features.
>"Whoa bull I, I don't want any trouble alright, it's cool, I'm sorry."
>"Why're you apologising to me?!"
>He roars out, and she looks to you, letting out a quick and loud "I'm sorry!"
>Before turning to run away, and slamming face first into a tree, knocking herself out.

>>29530082
>Nonny visibly calms himself before walking over to you, sat on your rump.
>He crouches down low. "Hey Flutters, you okay?"
"I... I am now..." You barely whisper out, but from the small smile coming to his face, you guess he heard it.
>"Twilight sent me over seeing as you seemed to be running late.."
>He takes a look at the various little cuts you have, and the tears still in your eyes, before deciding to scoop you up delicately in his arms.
>You let out a small eep as you're made to lay on your back, with your hooves lightly kicking in the air.
>Oh no...
>Like this there's no hiding it...
>Your freakishly enormous teats, even larger than Celestias on your much smaller body, wobbling as he holds you.
>He must think you're an abomination.
>Pagasi aren't supposed to have such ridiculously enormous...
>You can barely even fly because of them.
>"I'll take you over to the castle, get you patched up okay? And don't you worry about any more cow ladies, anyone gives you trouble Nonny'll give 'em one of these, hoo!"
>He dashes forwards in a split second, about twenty metres, while thrusting his free arm forwards in a straight punch, wind whipping around as his fist cuts through the air.
>He gives you a reassuring smile as he starts to walk normally.

>>29529942
Top cute
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWYQ0os_yjk

>>29530082
Insulting Mama Nonymous around Nonny is not a good idea

>>29530097
>You lay there blushing.
>If you could be milked you're sure your teats would be making a sloshing sound right now they're so big and jiggling so much.
>You should be trying to pretend you're a strong mare like Dash keeps telling you.
>That it doesn't matter if you were a model, that colts won't like you if you're such a pushover.
>And she was right.
>But this one seems to be okay with that...
>Maybe it's okay to let a colt protect you.
>To nurture and look after you, like you've been looking after animals.
>Maybe.
>He takes you to the castle, and into the kitchen, where he sets you on your flank on a kitchen counter.
>Your wings instantly shoot out to the sides as your teats also sit on the very cold surface.
>"Now where are they..." He fumbles around in the cupboards. "Ah-ha!"
>He comes back to you, with a box of plasters and a cloth.
>He gently cleans your little scrapes and cuts, washing them and drying them softly, before placing the plasters, made for colts as they have flowers on them, over your superficial wounds.
>Once complete, you're about ready to thank him, even while the adrenaline from the Minotaur encounter is still making your body tremble slightly.
>You have to pretend you're a strong mare.
>Or you would have, but he leans down and forwards, and gently kisses above a plaster on your front leg.

>>29530111
>You blush hard as he continues, giving each of your booboos a light little kiss, finally stopping to smile at you.
>"Don't worry Flutters, Nonny's got the power of the ultimate healing of booboos on his side. But I'm feeling a little tired from being so, hoo ha!"
>He poses a few times.
>"Stunningly handsome all the time. I don't think I could handle another day showing the world my macho brilliance. Maybe we could just spend the day here with our friend Twilight, have some tea, huh?"
>You gaze into his sunglasses, and you just know.
>He's doing this for you, trying to make you happy and make you feel safe, while giving you a convenient excuse to not show how fearful you are of going out right now.
"W-well, if that's what you really want, I-I suppose I can't argue with that."
>You beam up to him, and then lean forwards to gently hug around his thick neck.
"Thank you Nonny..."
>He lifts you up, taking you into the living room, to find Twilight reading and Spike flicking gems into his mouth.
>As he sets you down next to Twilight, and tells you all he'll be right back, Twilight whispers to you.
>"What's going on, don't you want to spend the day trying to teach him something?"
>You look to the big handsome... Man, walking out towards the kitchen, and smile, turning to your friend.
"Sorry Twilight, but even as the element of kindness, there's nothing I can teach him."


And that's it. Next one probably won't be too long unless I think up more for it, right now it's purposefully supposed to be short and silly.

>>29529991

Would the human kingdom also have reversed gender roles?

Or would they have IRL gender roles?

>>29530325
Assuming they have normal human birth rates then yes, but likely to a lesser degree because of cultural influences from the rest of the world

>>29529942
>a cunt tight enough to crush an aluminum baseball bat.
UNF

>Meek little Fluttershy will never find her nerve mid-sex and grip your dick so tight that you cum gallons when she finally lets go.

>>29530390
Or possibly rip it off. Even with how weak aluminum products are, I don't want to risk my dick ending up like an octopus's.

>>29530448
>an octopus' dick can be compared to a crushed aluminum bat

tell me more anon

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>>29530134
I'll just be here, waiting for you.

>>29530345
Which is why Prince Scorpan instituted isolationist policies. Gotta keep the men on top.

>>29530463
>He doesn't know that octopuses often detach their genitals and present it to the female for keeps
I can't reproduce the same result, Anon, but if I stick it in there it might be gone for good.

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Lemme smash
>"Again? Already?"
>"I'm not like other mares, Anon. I don't expect you to put out twenty-four-seven."
Please.
>"No, Anon."
You wan sum fuk?
>"Anon, I'm reading. I don't want sum fuk."
Yeah you do, you're in heat.
>"Oh, right."
>Then she became a nymphomaniac and the two of you fucked like rabbits somehow without getting tired or bored despite the presence of important responsibilities you both would have preferred to be doing otherwise"

>>29530518
Get your tumblr-tier meme out of here.

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>>29530518
Jesus Christ, how disgusting!

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>>29530518
>Marefriend thinks you're unhappily trying to please her by "faking" being horny 24/7.
>Because what stallion just gives away sex without using it as leverage over a mare?
>You actually are horny 24/7 because you've discovered the magic that is almost always willing mare puss.
>Now you've got to convince her that your affection is genuine.

I was writing something and realized I posted in the wrong thread. Second I lost my idea's.

>>29530605
Imagine this but with Celestia. Damn I wanna fuck Celestia.

>>29530627
Her entire body just screams sex, but we can never experience it.

Life truly is suffering.

>>29530661
Her entire body has the overall size of a high-end horse. Yet she's still small enough my human penis could satisfy her. Not just that with my libido and the content of the thread I could whip up a Celestia story whilst being sober if I put effort forth. This would be total power fantasy as I want to fuck her badly.

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>>29530070
aww
poor flutterbutter

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>>29530134
That was really cute. Wasn't expecting Fluttershy having monster breasts though.

That's kinda hot.

>>29530043
No, it would be unisex and would be like hot springs from my japanese animes. Teenage mares would wait inside for hours hoping for a young stallion to share the hot spring with them but they only ever get gross old fat stallions.

Alt: Mares only, except for me because I'm the owner, dammit.

>>29530082
>Nonny cries himself to sleep that night thinking about all the homemade weenie loaf he's never going to eat.

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>>29530097
>>Your freakishly enormous teats, even larger than Celestias on your much smaller body, wobbling as he holds you.
>>He must think you're an abomination.
>>Pagasi aren't supposed to have such ridiculously enormous...
>>You can barely even fly because of them.

>>29530134
i read this for the comedy, and was blindsided by the genuine feels you're crafting here. it's very rare we find a writefag who can mesh the two so well. please keep going.

>>29530904
perfect for squeezing and fondling

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>>29530134
>>"Sorry Twilight, but even as the element of kindness, there's nothing I can teach him."
>tfw nobody will ever see past your own horrible nature and say something this kind to you

>>29530681
why are you not doing this right now? post a green and sate mine lust as well or you're a liar.

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>>29530097
i miss milky way. it's too bad a story centered around her wouldn't be taken very well around here

>>29530946
If only there weren't a ban on yellow boob-horse... I'd read it.

>>29530953
how did that happen?

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>>29530904
>>29530936
imagine how many foals she could feed

wet nurse fluttershy when

>>29530970
this horse needs a hot meat injection

>>29530953
She's banned???

>>29530963
>>29530997
She was banned years ago, but I guess I don't know if that is still in effect. I'm reasonably sure it's against the rules to post Milky Way. Quit making me second-guess things I thought to be correct and unquestionable.

>>29531011
I only joined the ride rather recently (in 2015) so I'm not real familiar with many fandom created characters over the years.

>>29531027
ew newfag

>>29531011
As long as someone comes up with a good green text and no one spams her she likely should be allowed again.

>>29531037
Not even mad bro. I know I wasn't there for some of the big moments in /mlp/ and am completely fine with it

>>29529942
He draws the absolute best Flutterbutter, too bad his Anon doesn't like her.

>>29531141
a shame shout is dead now

>>29531143
He only died recently though cuz he had a second kid.

>>29531148
yes im aware

he better be taking maximum advantage of his fertile wife

>>29529942
>Any dickish stallions also learn that Discord considers her his very best friend (she's his only friend)
>Ponies who make her cry tend to have very strange, unlikely, and unpleasant things happen to them.

>Though Discord unknowingly preemptively shot her down romantically
>He was talking about how he doesn't really get ponies obsession with romance and sex
>Romance is even more alien to him than friendship was, and sex got boring eons ago.

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>>29529977
>Pacific Rim
>shitty movies

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>>29530937
You've made me sad with that comment and I don't know why.

>>29531027
just look up
oc:milky way
on the booru and fall in love

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>>29530509
>octopuses often detach their genitals and present it to the female for keeps

>>29531225
A cinematic masterpiece it is not

but it does have giant robots fighting giant monsters, which is all I ever wanted from it.

Though I still don't understand why Godzilla and Pacific Rim and other monster movies, always insist on devoting so much time to things that aren't Giant monsters and giant robot wrecking shit.

Ron Perlman being awesome, and crazy guy hooking his brain up to the monster brain, that's all fine, but there's too many humans that aren't running away screaming as things explode and buildings get knocked down.

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>>29531254
...ok that's a good point.
but if anyone asks, we argued about it.
I have a reputation to uphold.

>>29531244
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-3023391/From-octopus-detachable-penis-seal-inflates-nose-nature-s-strangest-sex-revealed.html

>>29530518
>without getting tired or bored despite the presence of important responsibilities you both would have preferred to be doing otherwise

I'm sorry but this is too unrealistic.

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>>29531336

This was an older prompt from a few onths ago but fuck it, I'll repost it here
>Copper and nickle are rare materials in equestria worth a lot of money per ounce while gold is somewhat common
>Anon just so happens to have several change jars full of the stuff lying around
>This makes Anon worth several million bits, and when word gets around, has to beat the hundreds of suitresses trying to get at his money

>>29531502
it's also been used several times in different greens, and in different >fimfiction stories, too.
all in all it's a tried and true method and works well as a plot device to prevent anon from having to find a job at the farm, the spa, or some secretary job.

>>29531519
I've never come across it myself except for here.

>>29531525
I forget which ones it's in on fagfiction, but that site in general does not respond well to greentext stories adopted to prose, or stories that have anon in it, unless it's very well-written or very funny.

>>29531542
They've got better about Anon stories, maybe not greentext though, I just haven't seen many there recently.

>>29531011
>>29531027
>>29531038
If you keep it to just green and don't include any images in the posts, I doubt it'll cause any issues. That said, there were Milky threads on /trash/ when it started up. No idea if they're still happening or not, I don't look in on the board.

>>29531719
on what grounds was milky way banned?

im assuming it was the massive crotch tits, but there a lot of other images with over large teats...

>>29531759
Because Scruffy was a cunt. AWG was also banned, among other things.

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I wonder what kind of perverted weeaboo mares like?

>>29531759
People wouldn't keep the threads SWF at one point and then the threads kept being remade as a "fuk u scruffy".

>>29531790
There we go then, as long as no-one spams pictures and causes a thread long 'REEEE' in future (and is on topic), Milky is allowed.

>>29531803
Rational discussion on 4-chan is amazing when you can get it.

>>29531803
>>29531807
Gays need to leave. /hhh/ is a disease to this board. It's an internal furry-like tumor that keeps trying to assimilate generals that also want them to leave. Fuck bat-ponies, they're edgy cancer that can't even be called canon. Luna is, unironically, one of the worst waifus you can have, only being surpassed by Glimmer, Sunset, and Nightmare. Anyone who likes EQG is tolerable as they don't say ANYTHING EVER about it, but if you like EQG more than the show you need to leave. Although I realize that the majority of people on /mlp/ are underage today, please realize that YOU are the cancer. You are the newfags that came here and polluted our trash-bin of a board even further. /pol/ is for exclusively edgy teenagers, and is the 'rebellion' of today's teens going through puberty. Donald Trump was the better alternative between both of them and Hillary, and in theory his polices are good, but you kind of have to admit he acts a little off. If you haven't bought any merch and you have the money why are you still here? Although a few barely-alive generals should go, the majority of generals are fine and can stay. CYOA's are real polluter here. There's 15-20 of them at any given time, only a few schmucks per thread, and one """artist""" or sub-par writefag trying to gain and name and attention.

>>29531907
But we need newfags anon, so that they might turn into oldfags and bitch at the new newfags, so the cycle continues

>>29531944
Newfags are good. Newfags that immediately jump into posting before lurking are not.

>>29530939
I will man, it was friggin' midnight when I sent that message so I'll toss something up sometime soon plus there's the fact I have to write all the sideline characters, hell even shenanigans leading up to it. Plot is simple he fucks Celestia.

>>29531254
>Though I still don't understand why Godzilla and Pacific Rim and other monster movies, always insist on devoting so much time to things that aren't Giant monsters and giant robot wrecking shit.
It's a thematic theme. Del Toro wanted Pacific Rim to be about not only kaijus, but the world coming together in JOLLY COOPERATION regardless of country. He explicitly wanted to avoid making a pro-American military movie. With Godzilla, iirc it's a juxtaposition of how mundane a human's problems are when you have a giant monster mucking about

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>>29529822
>Magyar edition
OH MY

>>29532124
Every time I hear the word magyar all I can think about is those crossdressing fairy things from Mother 3. What were they called again? Magypsies?

>>29532142
>gypsies
I think you are mistaken us with our eastern neighbour.
As for the crossdressing part well...
Our country have weird traditions. :^)

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>>29532161

>>29532161
> Cross dressing

> Equestrian traps are mares that wear button down shirts and slacks, stuffing a ball bra
> Due to Anon's nipples, ponies assume he is a trap
> Something something flustered mares

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>>29531244

>>29530345
>>29530501

>Prince Scorpan isolated his kingdom to keep gender roles the way he wanted them
>When he hears of Anon, he gets annoyed.
>Someone clearly didn't get the message about staying away from ponies
>He sends two of his soldiers to capture Anon and bring him 'back' to the human kingdom

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>>29530970
I don't care what herd you have, but broodmare Fluttershy is mandatory

>>29532208
>"I-im not a dyke if I watch tomcolts taking dildos in the vagina at HornTube..."
>"I mean ,there is just a minor differenc between that and watching to gay stallins having sex with each other !"
>"And watching to stallions have sex with each other and masturbating to it is not what dykes doing""

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>>29532277
How the fuck did I missed "w" two times when I wrote down this?

>>29532288
Your an idiot that didn't deserve these double dubs>>29532277 ?

>>29532298
>Your
>Not You're
I hope you did this on purpose.

>>29531955
dubs confirm
I didn't make my first post on 4chan until a year and 3 months after discovering it.
lurk moar

>>29532338

lol what a wuss, i wasted no time to post

did you not understand that it's anonymous?

>>29532350
At first, no.

>>29532351

don't feel too bad. the first post i ever replied to -- i actually right-clicked it and went copy link location and pasted that into the box. i looked like such a boob.

>>29531351
That's the point

>>29531148
I'm having one of those "all my friends are getting married and having kids" moments right now.

>>29530082
>Insulting Momma Bravo
even if you're a dragon lord you don't do that shit

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>>29530134
this is easily my favourite green, thank you

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>>29530937
>tfw nobody will ever see past your own horrible nature and say something this kind to you
I used to feel that feel, luckily it stopped bothering me years ago

>>29531955
dubs confirm, I only used to ever post pics for my first few months here, after about half a year I got into a conversation once a month, then it became more regular over time

>>29529854
>>29529942

>Anon in RGREquestria.
>Mares normally give the "protective older sister" routine to prospective mares courting a stallion they're close to.
>No expectation of the reverse.
>Anon starts courting Fluttershy.
>Discord being Discord, doesn't feel like he has to conform to expectations.
>And Discord cares about Fluttershy, and figures she needs it more than most stallions do.
>Discord gives the un-heard-of "protective older brother" routine to Anon.
>Overdoes it. Gives him the full chaos treatment.
>Fluttershy resents the protectiveness, but she can't bring herself to say anything strong enough to Discord.
>Mild disapproval, but not enough to make him think it's a bad idea.

Version 1:
>Her friends can't bring themselves to argue with Discord's...logic?
>They won't do anything to intervene either.
>Anon cares enough to keep pursuing Fluttershy despite everything.

Version 2:
>Her friends resent what Discord is doing.
>They can't convince him to stop.
>They can't get Fluttershy to convince him to stop.
>So they decide to help Anon court Fluttershy despite the chaos being rained down on him.

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How do zebra mares in RGRE treat their stallions?

>>29531519
Sometimes I like to imagine that Anon was accidentally brought to Equestria by the Princesses (Celestia was looking for a way to bring cake directly from the kitchen to her chambers without having to get up and walk) via a summoning accident, so they just sort of send him a monthly allowance and a free cottage as an apology.

>>29531907
Ahh.... balance has been restored.

>>29532798
Run away with the foal still in their bellies

>>29532990

>not running away as soon as she gives birth

You can't abandon a foal while it's still inside you

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What did she mean by this?

>>29533014
>Abortion
Just like blacks in real life

>>29533061

But if all stereotypical zebra mares did was abort every time they got pregnant, then you wouldn't have the parallel to real life stereotypical black guys who run out on their girlfriends when they get pregnant.

Although I suppose this means abortion clinics in RGRE get a lot of customers

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>>29533061

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What if the reason for the skewed gender ratios is analogical to what happened in China?
>Equestria is undergoing a baby boom after a warmer period
>the population gets out of control rapidly, and tension around food and land rise up
>then the climate starts going back to colder one again
>nation is going to collapse if nothing is done
>Celestia makes the hard call of implementing the one child policy
>it is not received well, but there is nothing ponies can do
>dura lex sed lex
>mares were more likely to hold a more beneficial position in administration and the like, due to princesses being at the helm, while stallions were mostly working in the field to keep up the with the skyrocketing demands
>colts were downright abandoned in the forest before long, due to the draconian taxes for multiple children
>Luna has to deal with uncountable nightmares of mothers who weep after their children
>she cannot take it anymore and demands the abolishment of the policy
>when denied, she snaps and goes NMM to "bring down the tyrant"
>she actually had some following amongst the common folk
>but it was not enough
>3 generations later Celestia realises that she didn't even notice when the point of no return was passed
>irreversable damage has been done, but the ponies already started to adapt to the new situation
>mares take over the physical labour, stallions are being protected
>the population becomes much slower to grow now, and the policy is abandoned
>before long, nobody even remembers that things used to work differently
>except for Luna, on her moon

>>29532720
What happened?

>>29533378
I was adopted by a yellow family.

>>29532798
With love and respect. Nigger.

>>29533404
Just because your adopted family has chronic jaundice doesn't mean your liver is doomed,

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>>29533346
>dura lex sed lex

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>>29533378
Just stopped caring that no one would feel that way about me a long time ago and moved on

>>29533346
Now this sounds good.

>>29533404
>living with chinks
I'm so sorry.

>>29533404
>>29533463
come on now. It can't be that bad.

>>29533496
I'm sure you'd get sick of the taste of dog meat pretty quickly.

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>>29533463
>>29533581
>>29533404
What the fuck? Since when is /mlpol/ so racist against asian people? Personally, I've never been wronged by one

Has there been any mlp equivalents to angels and heaven in the show?

>>29533610
I'm not racist against Asians, Anon. I'm only saying it because I thought it was funny and because I would suffer no real-life retribution for saying it. Asians are fine; it's the niggers you've gotta watch out for.

>>29533610
Don't go to Japan, they're all assholes.

>>29533637
Zing!

>>29533617
I think your in the wrong thread to ask that question, please elaborate though, just to be sure.
>>29533637
the truth has been spoken, though incomplete. Its the Asians Fresh Off the Boat you also need to watch out for.

>>29533647
Just for standard pickup lines, like 'is heaven missing an angel'

>>29533679
>"Are Celestia's wings missing a feather?"
Celestia (and to a lesser extent, alicorns as a race) probably has beautiful wings with perfect feathers.

>>29533641
>Respect
>Smart
>Not talk about china about greedy shit
Something wrong with your brain.

>>29533679
Ah, that clears it up then, your in the right place. Hmmm, not to my knowledge unless you count Seashell.

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>>29533404
Excuse me, how did you get access internet then?

That the points, your adopted family care about you. Or you're lazy assholes sitting internet all day.

>>29533610
FINALLY! SOMEONE GET IT!

>>29533610
I hide behind my anonymity and rarely mean any of the negative things I say.

Turkleton.

>>29533699
>Dickish
>Superiority complex
>Massively Xenophobic to everyone, even each other.
>Short.
I have plenty more to say about them but I don't wanna ruin the thread......but yeah China also sucks dick.

>>29533462
As a piece of headcanon, yeah. But not sure if it's malleable into a story.

>>29533857
It seems more like background in a full length story than greentext, maybe something hinted at when Anon is talking to Celestia or Luna but not 'directly seen', as it were.

I miss when this thread was about ponies.

Remember that? We should get back to that.

>Contrary to what the tabloids would have you believe, Celestia is not secretly Molestia
>In fact, she's such a prude that she's still a virgin

>Luna is the scandalous one.
>She thinks Celly is horribly repressed, and would be a lot happier if she got some good loving dicking.

>>29533898
>Luckily, Anon is Luna's very good friends; he produces the best dreams from Earth and Luna enjoys them immensely.
>Implores him to take a train to Canterlot and steal her sister's virginity
>She had Anon at "train"

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>>29533898
>>29533912
as long as its not just a fuck and run

celestia deserves more than that

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>>29533898
>TFW No nightmare moon RGRE

>>29533610
They are influenced by the chink threads
Lots of animal cruelty and general insect like behavior towards each other.

>>29533949
>"The night will last fore-'
>There's a hot exotic male here
>SexiNightPrincess.pon
>"Hey Bby, u lookin' for a real mare?"

>>29533992
Moar please.

>>29533992
A thousand year dry spell on the moon changes a mare's priorities

Somebody linked a fimfic a thread or two ago, and I gave it a look, had an interesting idea.

Herding is an Earth Pony and Pegasus thing, while Unicorns are generally monogamous.

>>29533889
It explains why Luna is more than okay with Anon's "incorrect" behavior, and why she's much more affectionate with him - it's not something she can get anymore, and she wants to enjoy it while she can.

>>29533949
There was an idea on a previous thread. Basically, an Anon from Universe A was Luna's lover, and died of ass cancer or whatever. Luna went crazy and became NMM again, successfully taking over Equestria in the process. Once in charge, she'd institute old-fashioned thinking and put the mares back on top, creating RGRE. Then, Anon from Universe B, who looks and behaves identically to the first Anon, shows up, causing a stir.

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What if a typical cowboy showed up in RGREquestria? For example
>Cowboy shows up
>Is used to very rigid gender roles just to have his life and understanding of them flipped upside down
>All the mares go crazy for him, opening doors for him and catcalling him slowly driving him nuts
>He, being a cowboy, feels he doesn't need mares help, gets angry at them
>They just think its cute to see him mad
>Something something more RGRE
>Cowboy Anon dies of cuddles

>>29534152
>Holding a mare down
>a whisper

>>29533949
>Nightmare Moon grumbles in protest as she allows you to gently push her onto her back.
>Her hooves instinctively curl up against her chest, giving her raw sexiness an edge of cuteness.
>A blush peeks through her black fur, and she can barely force herself to look you in the eyes.
>Had you not seen her acts of legitimate cruelty towards the ponies who refused to fall under her rule, you would have pegged her as a stereotypical tsundere from your ching chong animes.
>She mercifully spares you the nightmares that would have normally resulted from witnessing her bloody rise to power.
>"J-Just to be clear," she stutters, "I'm only letting you do this because it's your birthday."
"Hmmm? Do what?"
>You crawl over her until you are face-to-face, and then relax your body.
>The alicorn body is tough and your body practically weighs nothing to her.
>Nightmare moon stifles a gasp and her blush intensifies.
>"Th-This!"
>Oh, right.
>Sex in the "dolphin position".
>While it's a vanilla position back home, rutting belly-to-belly is a very lewd, very intimate act to ponies.
>"You've been a very faithful servant," she rambles, trying to hide how flustered this is making her, "and an equally faithful love, so I wa-"
>You interrupt her by placing a finger tip against her lips.
>You're lucky she didn't bite you.
"Shhh..."
>You rub your cock against the winking length of Nightmare's pussy, making her wriggle impatiently against you.
"Let's make this night last forever..."
>Something something RGRE
I reached the end before I realized I forgot to make it RGRE. WHOOPS

>>29534152
The cows give him slaps on the behind and tell him to wear buttless chaps.

>>29534152
All the mares think he's into s&m and bondage because he ropes them or jumps on their backs and smacks their flanks.

>>29534152
>Cowboy Anon seeks refuge at Sweet Apple Acres
>Applejack figures out right quick that he's like a more talkative Big Mac, and likes to do things himself
>Ain't afraid of getting dirty, or putting in a good days work.
>He's a strong independent stallion who don't need no mare
>AJ likes, and would really like to change his mind on that last part.

>She discovers the secret to his heart

>The secret is hard cider, and good 'ol home country cooking.

>>29534152
>calls himself a cowboy
>everypony thinks he wants to fuck a cow
>turns out a cattle drive is something totally different in equestria

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>>29534152

>>29534152
>Bleeding out in the fuckin' desert
>Again.
>With your target riding away on YOUR horse, laughing maniacally as he goes further and further
>Real smooth, cowboy.
>And this time, it didn't look like there were any do-gooders around to save your hide this time
>With a cough that spit up a little more blood than you'd have liked, you roll over onto your back to look up at the sky one last time
>No vultures around yet, but you knew they'd show up soon
>The bullet in your side burned like a thousand suns, but at this point you didn't care anymore
>With all the strength you had left (and after a few attempts), you manage to stand up, grabbing your signature hat and placing it right back on your head
>The Indian fucker you'd been sent to kill had been hiding out on this ranch with a few of his gang
>You and a couple other bounty hunters had stormed the ranch, engaging in an all out firefight
>By the end, everyone was dead except for you and the target, and he had bested you
>But instead of finishing you by shooting you in the head, he decided leaving you to bleed out in the desert would be more humiliating
>He would regret that, damnit!
>You stagger towards the ranch house, old revolver in hand
>You'd make sure of it!
>Stumbling past dead bodies, you move ever closer to the house
>This would not be the end of Anon!
>You pause for a second to look at your dead compadre, lying in the dust
>The steep pain of his wounds was still visible in his eyes and face, even if he no longer felt it
>Damn these Indians.
>After what feels like an eternity of staggering and stumbling, you make it to the ranch house door, and collapse through it
>With great effort you stand back up
>The remains of the family who once lived here lied before you, desecrated and scalped by the Indians
>Indian supplies were strewn about the house
>That idiot target of yours had obviously been in too much of a rush to grab some necessities before he left

>>29534241
>Ignoring the continuously stabbing pain in your side, you make your way to a crate lying on the floor
>There was something odd about this crate
>Perhaps it was the 3 pink butterflies emblazoned on it that came off as weird to you, but you had no time to ponder what they meant
>You remove the lid of the crate, and inside you see bandages (thank God!) among other healing supplies, and a porcelain statue of a horse with a note on top of it
>You quickly take the bandages and wrap them around you to stop the bleeding
>You've lost a lot of blood, but you were at least alive
>For now.
>With your impending doom delayed, you focus your attention on the porcelain horse stature in the crate
>You take the note off of it
>It reads "I SWEAR I SHALL PERSONALLY SCALP ANYBODY WHO TOUCHES THIS! DO NOT TOUCH"
>Do not touch, huh?
>You pick the statue up with one hand
>Fuck you, you smug Indian bastard.
>And with that, you hurtle the statue straight towards the floor
>As it breaks, there's an ungodly sound and a bright flash of light coming from the broken pieces
"AW, WHAT THE FUCK?"
>The last thing you see before blacking out is what looks like a door forming from the light released from the statue

>>29534244
>native american magic brings anon to equestria
i like that idea. its something new

>>29534244
>What the everliving fuck?
>You open your eyes, and you see blue
>And clouds
>Wait, weren't you just indoors?
>And something wasn't right
>The sky was a more beautiful blue than you'd ever seen
>And you were lying on something too soft to be the desert floor
>You look to the right and see that you're laying on.. grass?
>And there were trees in the distance!
>You quickly scrambled to your feet
>Holy shit, what?
>You were still caked in sand from lying on the desert floor, but there was no sand around you as far as the eye could see
>You take a moment to look around you
>There was a little town behind, and in front of you was a thick forest
>And to your left is a little cottage
>You obviously weren't in the American Southwest anymore.
>"Oooh, another human! And it's handsome buck, too!"
>In one fluid motion, you draw your trusty revolver and point it straight in the direction of the voice that just caught you off guard
>But all you can see down your sights is a... what the fuck?
>A short yellow pony with a pink mane, wings, and those 3 pink butterflies stamped to her flanks
"What in the goddamn?"
>"H-hey, I don't know what you're pointing at me, b-but I don't like it!"
>Did this horse just talk to you?
"What the- How are you talking to me? You're a horse!"
>A pathetic excuse for one at that, you couldn't ride her if you tried
>"Um, I'm a-actually a pony.."
>Great, she was a smartass too.
"I don't care what you are, where am I?"
>She regains her confidence
>"You're in Ponyville, handsome! And it's m-my job to greet any humans who might show up here, so please follow me."

>>29534172
thats kinda hot

>>29534280
"Wait, there's other humans here too?"
>"Y-yes, but not too many, and so far they've all been stallions. N-not that I'm complaining, handsome!"
>Was this little yellow horse trying to flirt with you?
>Well, you couldn't really think of anything else to do besides listen, so you holster your revoler and follow her into town
>Something wasn't right about this world, and you could tell
>A stallion was throwing out his mare on the street you were walking on
>He was throwing her stuff out the window while she pleaded with him not to do this
>You've seen this happen many times back on Earth, but it was always the woman kicking out the man
>All around you, things were literally reversed
>The mares were opening doors for stallions, and you could see mares everywhere having jobs that belonged to men
>You didn't like this one bit
>What the hell was going on here?
>So far no mare has tried any shit on you, but that might be because the yellow mare was trying her hardest to look tough and protective
>You couldn't help but smirk out how adorably pathetic it was
"Uh, Miss-?"
>"Call me Fluttershy"
"Right, Fluttershy, I don't need ya to act tough for me, Missy. I can handle myself."
>She looks baffled by this
>"U-uhm, what's your name again?"
"Names Anon."
>"Anon, you're just a stallion! Y-you need someone like me to protect you around here! You don't know what these mares are p-planning!"
>Right.
>Well, it was pretty cute to see her all tall and proud with her chest fluff out, so you might as well play along
>For now.

>>29534280
>>"Oooh, another human! And it's handsome buck, too!"
wot

>>29534290
"Alright, alright, lead the way."
>She leads you to a restaurant, which you find kinda odd but you are hungry after all
>She goes to open the door for you, but before she get's the chance a streak of blue appears and opens it
>In front of you stands a light blue pegasus with a shock of rainbow colored mane flowing from her head
>"Hubba hubba, who's this handsome stallion?"
>Fluttershy shoves her chest fluff out as much as possible, and says "H-he's mine, Dash!"
>"A guy this cute? No way I'm letting you have him!"
>The two start scuffling, and you start laughing until you realize they're fighting over which one gets to keep you
>With a sigh, you unholster you revolver and fire a shot into the sky
>The loud crack gets both of their attention, and they comically look at you with shocked expressions while still on the ground in top of each other
"What in the goddamn are you two doin'? I'm a human, you're crazy if you think I'll sleep with any of ya!"
>Tears begin to well up in both of their eyes
>Well, you might as well finish what you start.
"I dunno what's wrong with this place, but it's crazy. Back where ah come from, the men would fight over the women! This happening here, it ain't right, and I don't like it one damn bit!"
"I'm a cowboy! I don't need any o' this! I've been in this crazy Equestria place for less than half an hour, and I already miss home! Horses didn't talk back there, and we rode them for miles!"
>The one with the rainbow colored mane puts a smirk back on her face
>"You can ride me for miles any time you want, Anon."
>She winks out you
>You stare back with cold fury and you're really tempted to shoot her, but causing a rucus on your first day in this new world wouldn't be good
>So instead you holster your revolver and walk away, fuming
>What did you do to deserve a crazy world like this?

>>29534339
>Everypony is baffled at what just happened
>You figured your comment about letting him ride you for miles would win him over, but you guess not
>But he was too handsome and rough to give up on
>Not too many stallions like him
>The bragging rights if you managed to snag Anon would be legendary
>Bragging rights weren't the only thing you wanted though, Anon was the perfect mate for you and you knew it
>He said he was a cowboy?
>Did that mean he liked.. cows?
>In that way?
>No matter, you'd just have to convince him that pony pussy was 10 times better than anything some dumb cow could ever offer
>You would win Anon over in the end, you knew it!

Should I continue?

>>29534349
Yes

>>29534322
i bet the indian is the other one
>>29534349
`DO IT!

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>>29534241
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cXsoRRYf5A

Forgot to add it could be cool to listen to this while reading

>>29534244
On the base of the statue was an engraving.

Be Kind

>>29534339
>>You stare back with cold fury and you're really tempted to shoot her
kek

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>>29534359
forgot the pic

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>>29534427

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>>29534349
I DIDN'T KNOW HOW MUCH I NEEDED THIS 'TIL NOW

>>29534172
Moonbutt is good butt.
even if second best butt
bugbutt is best butt

>>29533992
MOAR

>>29534664
It's been years since I've truly written anything but I'll try to get motivation to relearn what I've forgotten and work on what is rusty.
Or if I'm struck cleanly by inspiration during a thread I'll post that.

>Christian Anon and Pagan Anon in Equestria
>They both work hard at their trades, and spend their free time converting as many ponies as possible to their religion
>A holy war may be brewing between them, fought with pool noodles and inflatable hammers
>They eventually put their differences when Muslim Anon shows up, with a horde of newly-converted camels

>>29534813
Yeah, no.

>>29534813
Muslim Anon isn't muslim anon. It's a very drunk Crazy Hassan.

The Christian and Pagan followers are horrified that he's selling his followers into slavery. They must have lived in horrible conditions to be this afraid to even speak.

Hey! *hic* Hey tiny pony! You want camel? Good husband, good cook. I give jacket too.

>>29534813
you mean jihad muhommad anon shows up with 42 goats

>>29534813
What? No Hindu Anon, Buddhist Anon, Sikh Anon, Shinto Anon, Taoist Anon, Aztec Anon or Jewish Anon?

>>29534813
Like this prompt.

>>29535207
so noninclusive

so undiverse

>>29534349
Your spelling committed suicide a few times, but good effort.

>>29535207
If Jewishe Anon shows up I demand that Nazianz Anon follows him across dimensions.

>>29534813
this sounds fu...>>29534851
never mind, I see we are cooking with gas today. FUCKEN DO IT!

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Reporter Anon here asking the tough questions.


Do poners dream of boners?

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>>29535443
Some do.

>>29535392
Sorry, wrote it as fast as I could to reply to the prompt quickly. Ill do better spellchecking next time I write for it

>>29530134
I'm pretty sure Nonny Bravo is the best thing ever invented.

I can't help but imagine this scenario:
>A babe from the Bravoverse gets zapped to Equestria
>Ponies are unsettled
>Babe acts like a total dyke in RGRE world
>Nonny immediately puts the moves on her
>Ponies are worried
>Babe immediately responds to Nonny with unwarranted physical assault (as they are wont to do)

The rest practically writes itself.

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>Prostitution is less common in Equestria.
>Female prostitutes virtually don't exist because what kind of stallion can't find a willing mare?
>Same cannot be said about male ones though.
>Sure, they are infrequent due to less stallions overall.
>But if a mare is desperate enough, she can find her "release" with one of those ponies.
>Thing is, they are expensive - they know how low the supply is, and charge accordingly.
>It's not your typical "girl under lantern" kind of deal. Almost all of them are what you would call luxurious.
>Regular pay aside, funding a dinner in a good restaurant and the likes are expected.
>Sometimes theatre or a Wonderbolts' derby.
>Despite the apparent profitability, not many stallions decide to follow that path though, so the supply stays low.
>Enter the main character.
>Pic related
>She has about as much luck with stallions as she does with dragons.
>None.
>She's a part of Wonderbolts, but very much so a second violin - nowhere near famous enough to attract gold diggers.
>And stallions don't really like the coltish vibe her job gives.
>All that leaves her high and dry, so she turns to desperate measures.
>She gets a contact details for a certain male "escort" from one of her colleagues.
>After fighting herself and her anxiety for almost a week, she finds him.
>Their rendezvous has had her knees more shaky than she had during her first show.
>Both because she finally has a "date", and because of the hints of taboo in what she was doing.
>But the colt is caring and gentle, soothing her nerves and making sure she has the best time of her life.
>Both in the restaurant and in the hotel afterwards.
>Lying in the afterglow of his embrace, she doesn't care about the fact that her bliss is bought and paid for.
>That his love is a priced performance.
>She wishes that moment, and her illusion, to last forever.

>>29534813
>Muslim Anon shows up, with a horde of newly-converted camels
Don't you mean, "with a horde of newly-fucked camels"?

>>29534813
I like this

>>29535744
>It obviously doesn't.
>In the morning she wakes up sore in the best kind of ways, in the right kind of places.
>But the bed is empty.
>The colt is up and cleaning himself up, getting ready to leave.
>Leave into the cold day and longing embrace of another lonesome mare.
>After he has stepped out of the shower they exchange pleasantries and compliments.
>He tells her that the last evening was all kinds of wonderful.
>"Like an expertly crafted cake, with the most delicious frosting of a night full of passion."
>High Winds can't help but to blush at that as she fights her wings to stay down.
>She also wonders how much his enjoyment was tied to the generous bag of bits that she has hoofed over to him yesterday.
>And a hint of negativity sparks in her thoughts.
>But it's ridiculous to detest a stallion of his profession for doing what he does.
>She is the laughable one after all.
>The good-for-nothing mare who cannot even find a partner in her life.
>Her only talent is flying fast.
>Every time she starts talking about her job to a colt she is trying to woo, they immediately drop interest.
>So how could she be angry at the one stallion who made her feel special?
>Who made her feel like a mare?
>Even if she had to pay for it.
>Just before he departs, they exchange a goodbye kiss.
>He didn't have to do that, his part was more than done.
>And yet he did it anyway.
>A slow, gentle kiss.
>A melodic and careful dance of their tongues.
>But much like the night before, it is over way too soon for her.
>He was already outside the hotel room, turning back to look at her one last time.
>Then, with a warm smile he says the most beautiful and painful words.
>"I will remember you."
>He was gone, leaving behind empty silence and the musk of sex.
>As she lets the warm water wash away his dried seed from the coat on her hindlegs, but one thing is left invading her thoughts.
>His last sentence.
>The sentiment she so deeply reciprocates.

>>29535753
>She was avoiding looking in the face of a maid that she passed in the corridor.
>The state of her suite left no doubts as to the events that have transpired the previous evening.
>What she did was by no means illegal, but it was not a thing that a mare would be proud talking about.
>It would make her look like a failure at best, and pervert at worst.
>So amidst all the beautiful memories of yesterday, there was a pang of guilt.
>She didn't have to do that after all.
>If she was just a stronger pony, her hormones would not take her over, and she wouldn't be paying quarter of her monthly salary just to get her snatch filled.
>Because it was the only reason.
>Just the crude, primal urges of her body that she was too weak to fight.
>...
"Bucking Tartarus."
>She mutters to herself when passing through the hotel door.
>It's not true.
>He rocked her world and filled her to the brim.
>And yet the thing that is left in her mind is not that.
>It's his warm smile when they were talking about sweet nothings at the restaurant.
>It's his deep and sweet laughter when she was telling him the most stupid jokes on their way back under moonlit heaven.
>It's his eyes glistening with a genuine interest when she was talking about the most mundane of days in her training routine.
>He made her feel like he actually cared about her.
>He made the whole evening special, not just the tumble in the bed she paid for.
>And that's why she can't get him out of her head, she realises while stepping into a puddle on the sidewalk.
>That's why she fell for him so hard.
>Like a drug.

>>29535758
>Falling in love with a prostitute
Poor, poor mare.

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>>29535753
That's kinda sad.

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>>29535758
>not high winds contacting an escorts
>not having anon accidentally bumble into the situation
>confusion
>anon proceeds to rail out the lonely pond as a pathetic prostitute pond sits outside the room before figuring she chickened out
>anon gets up the following morning, "we should do this again some time"
>high winds tries to pay,
>more confusion
>high winds and anon realize what happens, mildly embarrassed
>make plans for later

>>29535744
>>29535753
>>29535758
I want more Pretty Anon.

>>29535753
Reminds me of an old green from the old whore threads

>Be Anon
>You're hanging out at the street corner, waiting for tricks
>Some nervous-looking pegasus mare trots up to you. Got a trench coat and sunglasses on, as if that'll do much good.
>"H-how much?" She asks.
>"10 for a handy, 20 for a warmy, 30 for an up-close and personal, 50 for the entire package. Ya get all that plus a nice conversation."
>Shakily, the horrid pervert fishes out a 50 bits.
>"Not out here, ya idiot. People will see. Keep your money out of sight 'til we get somewhere private."
>You lead her off to some abandoned apartment a friend lets you use. "So, whole package?"
>"Y-yes, sir. Um...how long is it, by the way?"
>"One hour."
>"...Th-that's not..."
>"I'll go two hours for 75, but that's it."
>Nodding, she produces a fifty, a twenty, and a five.
>Spend the next two hours brushing her mane with your hand, cuddling, talking, and lightly kissing (but never with tongue and never more than three seconds at a time).
>"Alright, time's up."
>Send her on her way.
>She'll be back. She's hooked, just like all your other clients. Damn sicko perverts.

And the follow up

>Be gentleman of negotiable affection in manehattan
>Particularly pathetic-looking Unicorn mare sidles up to you
>She's a blank flank. Considering her apparent age, that's pathetic. She's got bags under her eyes and wisdom lines around her mouth. She's grandma material.
>"It's ten for hand-brushing, two for-"
>"I have a request actually!"
>You gesture for her to go on
>"H-...how much for you to...pretend to be my husband?"
>"..."
>"Just for a day...maybe two..."
>"...500 per day. 'Day' being a 24-hour period. I got a place rigged up like a nice, cozy home for this kinda thing. I can be whatever husband you like. We spend the whole day together acting like a couple. For an extra 100 per day I got a filly who'll pretend to be our daughter too."
>She nods solemnly and walks away.
>A few minutes later she returns with 1200 bits

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>>29535758
>>29535879
I think the worst part would be knowing that even after sweeping one mare off her hooves, there's still tens of thousands more that are lonely and miserable.

Would you work with top Equestrian thaumic researchers to get a portal open between Equestria and Earth to throw the mares a lifeline and help your fellow men out?

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>>29535918
>>"...500 per day
>>For an extra 100 per day I got a filly who'll pretend to be our daughter too."
>>A few minutes later she returns with 1200 bits

I didn't need these feels anon

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>>29534763

>>29536013
>that little leg kick half way through
hng

>>29536013
It's the Cheek grab for me.

>>29536090
It's the lying on her back waiting for Anon to pound into her for me.

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>>29536202
a-anon please

>>29536013
>>29536211
If there's a mark on her butt she's ready to rut

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>>29536211
Reverse Pedo Grooming

>>29536211
>>29536285
>Teleiophilia is a real problem in RGRE
>It's not uncommon to find tween to teen fillies trying to harass full grown stallions.
>Whether it's just horny fillies letting their hormones talk or genuine, flustered attempts to get a jump-start on a relationship varies, but most stallions don't appreciate it.

>>29536365
>>29536285
>>29536265
>>29536211

We cocksocking nao?

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>>29534349

>You weren't sure where you were going
>All you knew is that you wanted to be away from those damn ponies!
>You pull your revolver out of it's holster, and carefully replace the one bullet you fired
>You didn't have a whole lot, but in a world where you seemed to be the only one with a gun it would be more than enough.
>Placing the gun back in it's holster with a sigh, you continue walking away from town
>After a while of walking aimlessly, alone with your thoughts and worries, you find yourself in a field of apple trees
>You never got to eat at that diner, so you grab an apple off a tree and take a bite out of it
>Sitting down, leaning against a tree, you continue to eat your apple
>Those damn Indians and their fucking voodoo shit.
>Finishing the apple, you throw it to the side
>You still had that damn bullet in your side, and it still hurt like hell
>The bandages were beginning to get soaked red
>You figured you'd just worry about it tomorrow
>You bring your signature dark green bandana with a black question mark on it over the lower half of your face, concealing who you are once again
>It's starting to get dark, and this spot against a tree is as comfortable a spot as you're gonna get out here
>You tip your hat to conceal the upper half of your face, and quietly drift off to sleep
>What a day..

>>29536402
>When you wake up, your hat is still tipped over your eyes
>You quickly stretch
>With a yawn, you tip your hat back up to a normal position to see..
>2 barrels aimed right at your face.
>So much for being the only one with a gun
>"Mornin' sugarcube."
>An orange pony with a cowboy hat not unlike yours was aiming a gun at you.
>Oh, for fucks sake.
"What do you want?"
>"Ah want to know who ya are and what yer doin' here, masked stranger. These are my lands."
>You were so sick of these fucking ponies.
"Yeah, yeah, sure, lemme just stand u-"
>As soon as you stand up and before you can finish your sentence, you rip your revolver out of it's holster, and spray wildly, fanning the hammer back with your left hand after every shot
>You were fast, but she was faster, quickly diving behind one of the many apple trees the moment she saw you reach for your gun
>Your shots hit nothing but trees and air
>"OH, AH SEE HOW YOU WANNA PLAY!"
>You realize you've missed completely, and move behind the tree you were sleeping against last night as she leaves cover to take a shot at you
>The shot rings out like a cannon, and bark from the tree you were taking cover behind flies off as the shotgun blast hits it
>Fuck!

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>>29536414
>You were out of ammo in your pistol and there was no time to reload, so you holstered it and ran between the trees, hoping they would serve as cover
>As you run she takes another shot, the pellets whizzing past you but none hit their mark
>Your side was burning like never before, and you weren't sure how far you would be able to run
>You hear a curse behind you as your assailant realizes she missed, and you can hear her running after you now
>She's catching up though, her four legs apparently being faster than your two
>Look at you, running away from a damn pony!
>Granted, that pony had a double-barrel shotgun, but still
>Some bounty hunter you were.
>"Come back here, ya fool!"
>Nope, that wasn't happening.
>She was gaining ground on you though.
>Damn this pony, you weren't going down without a fight!
>You reach a small clearing in the sea of apple trees, and turn around, in a duel stance
>You draw your gun, and aim it towards the trees you'd just come from
>But the orange pony was nowhere to be found
>Odd...
>You take a look around, but she's not here
>Sensing opportunity, you break open the top of your Model 3 Schofield revolver to reload it

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>>29536452
>But the moment you do, the orange pony comes barreling out of the trees, and she tackles you straight to the ground
>"Gotcha!"
>Your revolver lands nearby just out of arms reach
>Shit..
>You look back up at the pony standing over you
>There's a spark of interest in her beautifully green eyes
>"Ah like you, stallion."
"Excuse me?"
>"Not many stallions out there who can actually put up a good fight."
>You tilt your head to the side and spit
"Damn you."
>She grins at that
>"You've got fire in ya. Ah like that."
>She looks towards your revolver laying in the grass
>"Interestin' piece you've got there."

>>29534113
I think it was, uh...

Shit.

The Chase, over on FimFlamFicTan.

Not that bad, but, uh, long. Also guy has a bit of a gas fetish I think.

But hey, cute bat pones.

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>>29536484
>She moves off of you to go pick it up
"H-hey! That's mine!"
>She picks it up with a hoof (what? how?) and curiously inspects it
>You stand up and brush yourself off, adjusting your hat a little bit
>"What's your name?"
"Why do you care?"
>"Woah, no need to get so cross with me, stallion."
"Stop callin' me that. Name's Anon."
>"Well then, Anon, you wanna tell me what you were doin' asleep in my orchards?"
"Tryin' to get away from the likes of you. I've been here for only a day and already you crazy lot are fightin' and arguin' over me and treatin' me like some sort of prize. I'm sick of it."
>"Well, that's a surprise."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
>"'round here, almost every stallion wants to be treated like a pretty prince. Ah admire that you don't want that in the slightest."
>She tosses you your revolver, and in one fluid motion you catch it and return it to your holster
>"Ah've got a farm a short walk from here. You wanna stay there? It'd be a bit of an escape from the madness in Ponyville
"We were just shootin' at each other. Why the change of heart?"
>"You've earned my respect. Simple as that."
>You look up at the sky and sigh
>Better than Ponyville, you guess.
"Fine."

>>29536498
I think I'm done for the night, I'll have Anon and Applejack do farm shit next time and grow closer to each other, while the other ponies get increasingly jealous. Especially Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. Lemme know your thoughts, ideas, and criticisms

>>29536365
yus

>>29536550
Liking it

>>29536550
good green, reminds me of that sunny and cher song

>>29536365
>Anon is pure as the driven snow!
>Or at least he seems that way to mares, since he ain't a horsefucker
>But he does have a weakness for cute cuddly things (score one for just about everything in Equestria)
>Especially fillies
>Fillies who short circuit all his defenses against pone romance attempts

>Now a filly (or fillies) must play the long game, and attempt to slowly woo Anon, without falling permanently into the dreaded Friendzone.

>>29533898
>Celestia has tried to have romantic relationships in the past
>But she's not the picture of innocence that she projects to her subjects
>Keeping a kingdom at peace for a thousand years doesn't just happen
>She's done things she's not proud of in order to protect her little ponies
>Equestria was once a far more savage place, and behind the veneer, evils both fantastic and mundane still lurk.
>Keeping them at bay required her to make hard choices, and often to do the dirty work with her own hooves, away from prying eyes
>Luna doesn't have to hide it, being the Princess of the Night does have a few benefits
>Celestia however, is a slave to the image she has crafted of herself.

>The very few stallions that have gotten close enough to her to see under the mask did not like what they saw.
>The more successful she was at making her ponies safe, the softer they became
>Soon she stopped trying, devoting herself to her work.
>He dreams of finding one who loved her, the /real/ her, became ever more distant from reality
>Condemned to spend the long years of her Sister's exile alone, doing whatever it took to preserve Equestria.

>But Anon is no normal stallion
>Luna has seen in his dreams that the world he is from bears far more resemblance to the Equus of old, than the near paradise it has become.
>Perhaps her sister's dream could soon become reality...

>>29530134
>"Thanks for coming Pinkie."
>You bounce in place with a spring in your everything, mane and tail bobbing up and down, feeling so excited at getting to hang out with Nonny.
"No problem Twilight, it's about time I got to teach him. Poor Nonny probably doesn't even know how to kiss and snuggle and pet and squeeze and hug and kiss some more and-"
>You keep going despite Twilight rolling her eyes and not really paying attention.
"-Of course you'd know all about cuddling and petting, especially while having a book read to you, right Twi?"
>You smile at the stumble in her body language and the blush breaking out over her face.
>"I-I have no idea what you're talking about..."
"I bet he smells really good when you're trying to bury your face between his pecs huh?"
>You giggle as her face becomes more red than purple.
>"A-anyway I'm glad that your turn to teach him fell on today... He... He seems to be feeling pretty down about something."
>At once you stop hopping in place.
"Wait, Nonny's feeling sad? Twilight why didn't you say something earlier? We should all be in a big snuggle pile and kissing him and going down on him and taking him out on shopping sprees!"
>"Pinkie, first of all, he doesn't think of us in that way... Yet. And secondly, I only noticed last night. I think he's been putting on a brave face."
>Now it's your turn to roll your eyes.
"Fine, but tomorrow, we should all work at cheering Nonny up and making him feel special."

>>29536955
>Before you can continue; you thought as Nonny said he'd just be a minute you had plenty of time, perhaps an hour, Nonny is coming down the stairs, each step making his jeans pull up against him to further show off the huge bulge beneath them.
>As he reaches the last step, he slides towards you, and you pretend you weren't just checking out the D.
>"Hey Pinks, ready to hit the town?"
"You know it, come on! Bye Twilight!"
>You wave goodbye to her as you bounce out the door.
"So I hope you haven't eaten anything yet like I told Twilight."
>"Nope, you got breakfast planned for us?"
>You nod your head enthusiastically.
"Uh-huh! Treating someone to a meal is a great way to start, or keep, a relationship. However, the ultra amazing best meals aren't at anywhere fancy, but super duper casual places, like Sugar Cube Corner!"
>You smile as you trot closer to him, rubbing against his leg.
>Who cares if ponies think you're trying to mark him with your scent?
>Firstly, duh, you are.
>And secondly, who cares what they think as long as the two of you are having fun?
"So the way it usually works with stallions is after I order something, you'll either order something really small, or nothing at all, so then while I'm trying to eat my food you'll bug me to take mine or just reach over without asking and take some, even though I asked multiple times if you wanted to get more before ordering."

>>29536959
>You explain it happily, no sarcasm in your voice.
>Colts can't help having their own special brand of irritating.
>And as you're the friendliest loveliest fluffiest pony ever, it's your job to accommodate that.
>What's the point in getting angry and blowing your chances?
>Better to just roll with it even though it always, always, ALWAYS annoys you.
>You happily trot into the second best place in the world.
>First being inside Nonnys pants.
"Hey Mrs Cake!"
>"Oh hello Pinkie, and HelLO STUD! Oh, begging your pardon sir, we just don't get a lot of enormous gorgeous stallions with a flank you could bounce a bit off of."
>Oh Cup Cake, always making the colts blush, you're surprised the stallionist movement hasn't stormed this place.
>You swear you can hear Carrot being triggered in the kitchens.
>"So what would you like Pinkie?"
"I'll have a half dozen mini chocolate chip muffins, and a half dozen mini blueberry muffins."
>They're not exactly suited for breakfast, but they will be easiest to share with Nonny when he inevitably takes half your stash of muffiny goodness due to ordering so little or nothing at all.
>"And what about you hot stuff? I'll make it extra sweet, just for you."
>Triggering intensifies.
>"I'll have forty pancakes drenched in syrup."

>>29536927
Anon dreams of his 1st Souls playthrough.

Luna watches in awe.

>>29536967
>Your head slowly turns, then tilts so you can look far up to him.
>Your lower lip trembles as your eyes start to sparkle.
"What is this feeling that swells in my heart?"
>"Pinkie?"
"I should have known all alooong, right from the staaaaaaaaaaaart!"
>As you hold the last word you rush out of the bakery doors, and quick as a whip you race up onto a house.
"I'll shout it from the rooftops!"
>You whiz away until your head bursts through the leaves of a tree.
"I'll shout it from the trees!"
>You look to the birds fluttering about on the branches and in their nests.
"Oh won't you help me spread the word, pretty pretty please!"
>You're back on ground level, running through the streets.
"His smile makes me feel so warm like a hot cinnamon bun!"
>You briefly swing BonBon around as you pass her, before your eyes set back onto the bakery, and you start sprinting towards it.
"Oohhh yes I'm positive that I- have- found- the- ooooooooooone!"
>On 'found' you burst through the doors and land on the knees of your hind legs, throwing your front legs out to showcase the one before you, sliding to a stop as you complete your short impromptu song.
>You casually climb back to all four hooves.
>"Uh, Pinkie, you okay?"
>You smile up at him.
"Perfect Nonny. Just perfect."

http://pastebin.com/u/CaptainAnonymous

>>29536977
If I remember correctly
Johnny bravo always had non-human girls or little girls after him.
Like Suzy, that antelope or that werewolf

>>29536996
which of course makes all this completely plausible thanks to Johnny's bizarre animal magnetism.

That antelope mama was pretty foxy by the way

>>29536365
That's pretty cute, desu.

>>29536967
>>"I'll have forty pancakes drenched in syrup."
kek

>>29536976
She believes he has the power of resurection

Tried to kill him
Ends up getting in trouble for attempted murder of a stallion.

>>29537237
Attempting to kill someone even if they can resurrect themselves is still incredibly rude.
Wolverine can heal from anything, doesn't mean he'd let you slap his shit.

>>29536996
There was also the Loch Ness monster.

>>29536996
There was also that secret agent girl as I recall.

>>29537307
Wasn't she an alien or from another dimension? I'm probably remembering incorrectly though.

>>29536996
He flirted with a foxy lady while he was stuck in that furry animal testing lab thing

>>29536996
Aliens too if I recall correctly

holy fug this story is canon with at least one show

>>29536996
Wait a minute
Didn't Rarity give Pinkie a wig she called the "Dreamboat Special" to give to Cranky Doodle Donkey that looked suspiciously like Johnny Bravo's hairstyle in "A Friend in Deed"?

>>29537427
sheeiiiit

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>>29537427

>>29537461
This is getting irritating. I still can't fucking post pics, so how are people getting images through?

>>29537464
I tried posting that pic with text and it was failing. I tried with just the pic (and the post num) and it went through. Either luck or something fucked up with the JS files.

>>29536365
>Teleiophilia

I thank you for this new word

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FINALLY, DAMN.

>>29536967
WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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>>29536402
Does this thread have a drawfag? Because now I really wanna see Anon with his signature bandanna and trusty No. 3 revolver, maybe doing shit with Applejack (or fighting her)

>>29529822
>stallions are taller and have flatter faces than mares
>anon is huge and has a very flat face
>this makes him the very image of masculine grace

Wow, thread feels dead.

>>29534339
>you holster your revolver and walk away
then he died, he was shot if you forgot.

A coffin isn't a good resting place, RGRE.

>>29538448
>8AM
>On a work day
You're setting too high expectations for us burgers, Anon

>>29538456
i wake up at 5:30 every morning and im a burger.
its not that hard.

>>29538456
>8AM
>post was made at 11:30
West coast worst coast, not even inhabited by true burgers.

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>>29538859
I'm up pretty early everyday here in killmyselfifornia I just don't find your thread that interesting.

>>29538859
>>29538880
The system was down earlier this morning, no one could post at the time.

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>>29538880
>killmyselfifornia
I know that feel bro.

>>29538901
This.

>>29538880
I live in Commiefornia as well, but I can think of at least 10 people I would want to kill here before I would want to kill myself.

>Anon introduces cosmic horror to Equestria
>Ponies think that lovecraft's pantheon is that of all of earth
>Luna can't help but be interested in the dreams of a stallion with such a capacity for darkness

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>>29539299
>>Luna can't help but be interested in the dreams of a stallion with such a capacity for darkness
Aww, Luna has a crush on someone as edgy as her.

>>29536488
the chase is shit. the autismo who writes it didn't know what he was doing when he started, and just keeps throwing more and more characters, powers, and back-asswards lore into it. he's got a huge patreon income and intentionally writes hundreds of thousands of shitwords in the most obfuscating manner so that you only get what's happening in the story if you read every single update in all fifteen of his related fics. his OC is legitimately autistic and keeps getting superpowers, transformations, augments, and new edgy OC mares in his harem.

>>29539437
"I keep telling you Luna, I can't go for anymore midnight strolls with you."
>"Well why not?"
"Night is when my dark work is done. Soon the great old ones will descend from their seat of creation and they'll be very curious as to why their fledgling drone has yet to shake the foundation of reality."
>"That is so hot."

>>29539299
>edgy-shitlord Anon in Equestria
>ponies take him seriously

>>29539482
Yeah, I read up to 100,000 words of The Chase until I just dropped it, I couldn't take the retardation anymore.

electrocution

>>29539569
pence pls go

>>29539580
It's some fag who's bumping threads to move ones he doesn't like to the bottom of the catalog.

>On the Equestria, a little human. Blond hair, blue eyes and fair skin like porcelain, he commanded the army with voice pronunciation unclear. His name is Germany Anonymous. But the reality is he is one of office workers. his place of birth is Bavaria Germany. A office no longer, now promoted to father.

>>29532675
Nobody did that. Nonny was threatening the Minotaur with that.

>>29533610
Mostly because they post here a lot and their shit grammar annoys me slightly.

South East Asia sucks, so does China. The rest plus Japan is okay.

>>29533610
For me it's how they gut out some games with massive clans that fuck you up and exploits any weak point in saving/etc to fuck you up even more unfairly.

>>29539691
>Mostly because they post here a lot and their shit grammar annoys me slightly.
How stupid to laugh at a person who tries to speak another language, even if they make a lot of mistakes. You should just correct them in a polite way.
>so does China
Ok that true.
>South East Asia sucks
Jesus Christ what an utter cunt you are. I was quite enjoying the read, and many of faggot points were pretty amusing. But how can you seriously be so shallow and self-centred as to claim horrifying sucks ruin your nice time in the sun? Cambodians, particularly anyone older than 40/50 have been through hell. Another younger generation exists that are being scarred by what came before (landmines, orphaned etc.) Perhaps when you see a Napalm scarred Vietnamese person you should consider your own country’s appalling foreign policy and disgusting fighting tactics.

Then I read a little more of your stuff and saw your a white American, living in Korea. Whilst your more than willing to pass horrendously shallow judgments on a variety of races, you don’t recognise your probably in a relationship on which the founding principle is your whiteness. I did the same a few years ago, but left Korea as I was sick to death of ignorant, self centred, loud, obnoxious Americans like yourself

Shut your damn racist mouth.

>>29539742
lol triggered

>>29539742
>racist
It's not racism if I hate everyone. Fuck you.

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>>29539742
Back to tumblr with you.

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>>29539742