Magicless Anonymous

Here for based writefags

bumpin'

>>29381165
For shame, thread. For shame.

>>29381165
Yea, fuck you bro. I don't know how you could let that happen.

>>29381165
It was your fault m8.

>>29381165
op used image
good job op

>>29381165
bump

>>29381165
So last thread Anon trapped his soul inside a picture and spell bound himself. What do we think about that?

>>29383803
Anon the lich.

>>29383803

I wonder how he's going to hide it from everybody. His place is littered with books and parchment with his attempts to recreate runes, he's permanently tattooed his chest with a rune instead of sticking it on the bottom of his foot or somewhere hidden, and he's not even trying to cover his tracks, being an absolute madman yelling at Princess Friendship in public. Despite giving himself magic, he can't legitimately use it in public without blowing his cover.

>>29384425

>>29385243

>>29384571
>blowing his cover

He won't care.
He'll just try to gain more magic, and when the ponies will try to stop him, he'll freak out and accuse them of wanting him to remain useless and defenceless.

>>29385868
It's a legitimate strategy.

>>29385735

>>29385868
I could actually see that happening

Just so the thread isn't full of bumps, what spell would you first use if you were in Anon's place?

>>29386948
Bump.

Post prompts, I need an excuse to try writefagging. Can't guarantee any will interest me though.

>>29386948
Conjure alcohol.

>>29386948
Summon Kek

>>29387137
^;)

>>29386948
I would try to master telekinesis first, since it's the easiest one. Baby steps.

>>29386948
>Be anon
>Finally figure out how to use countermagic
>Follow around Twilight Sparkle
>Counter all her shit
>She tries to lift something with telekinesis
>Counter it
>She tries to push you away
>Counter it
>Continue to do so until the point is made

>>29387257
>continuously countering
Sounds like the average MTG blue deck to me

>>29387373
>Twilight counters your counter

>>29386948
I cast magic missile at the darkness.

>>29387159
>Anonymous arrives in equestria
>Pissed at op magic ponies
>???
>Good green

>>29387159
How about a series of short stories, where
>Anon is convinced that he needs a unicorn horn to use as a wand to do magic
?
Plot could go something like this:
>He tries to dig out one from graveyard
>because of bad luck, girls caught him with a shovel, digging in someones grave
>In a hilarious turn of events they're convinced that Anon just wants some meat
>Anon obviously can't tell them the truth
>Anon doesn't deny
>Twilight gives Anon a lecture about trusting your friends more

>Anon drugs and kidnaps Lyra to make a clone of her in Mirror Pool and take horn from her clone
>Lyra wakes up just before being cloned, being hold tightly by Anon
>She thinks that Anon is trying to court her human style, which is really romantic
>Anon doesn't deny
>Twilight gives Anon lecture about expressing your feelings

>Anon learned that there's a real unicorn skeleton in school, in their anatomical class
>he gets in there during night to steal it
>he meets CMC there trying to get their cutie mark in spying
>CMC jump to conclusion that Anon is there to play with them
>Anon doesn't deny
>Twilight gives Anon lecture about taking care of young fillies

>>29387629
>last word
>>29387373
I don't know what you're talking about. I play land hate and blood moon decks.

>>29387629
Throw in turns that take 15 minutes and broken shit plays and you have a modern Yugioh match, or as I like to call it, nuGioh

>>29388158
>In a hilarious turn of events they're convinced that Anon just wants some meat
I think they would find eating already rotting corpses a little fucked

>>29388873
Ponies are into some fucked up shit themselves bruh

Lads I'm feeling protective over my sister dating this guy.

He's not even a bad guy but goddamn I want to rip out his entrails.

>>29389483
The guy in the OP picture, the Anon in Urchin's story, Anon in monkey troubles story, or someone in this thread?

>Be Anon
>You may have lied when Twilight Sparkle told you to get as far from the Crystal Kingdom as possible
>You see her and her friends about to get rekt by some ebony haired unicorn with dark powers
"Shit, what do I do? Think, think!" You cursed yourself, figuring out what to do to stop him
>You think back to when Twilight was chastising you for having no magic

>"Maybe you can't concentrate right! There must be some magic in that dumb horn of yours!" Twilight poked at your accidental boner you had while in the bathroom
"GODDAMN IT KNOCK NEXT TIME!"

>That must be it. Unicorns have to concentrate
>"And now, weaklings. I shall wipe you off the face of Eque-" Before he was able to cast his spell, you came out with the first thing that you think he'd be distracted with
"HORSE PUSSY!" His magic fizzled out and he jumped from your exclamation
>You ignored Rarity's complaints of her virgin ears as the black haired
>"What manner of creature are you, you-" You see his horn spark, but you threw some pocket sand in his eyes. "GAH! YOU FOOL!"
"Cmon, get up, girls! Use the elements!" You hurry them along and they finally charge up their magic
>"You wretched ape! I shall-"
"Daddy doesn't like that language." You say in a serious tone and step aside, letting their friendship beam take him down
>Typical roar into the sky as he dies scene
>Anyway, the day is saved
>"How did you do that?!" Twilight ran up to you, magic grabbing a hold of you with her hooves. "Anon, you have no magic. What did you do?!"
"...You never seriously learned about the Element of Surprise?"

>>29389558
Kek

>>29388158
I like your ideas anon

File: carlos.jpg (4KB, 125x125px) Image search: [Google]

4KB, 125x125px

>>29389558
>"HORSE PUSSY!"


I now have an erection.

>>29390468
I don't understand, Carlos. Where's the pun?

Eyyy its back

Bump.
I started a story based off >>29388158, the second idea to be precise. Drugging isn't my thing but you can't stay in your comfort zone all the time.
I'll post the first bit I worked on later today.

>when you actually have a dream about a greentext story on /mlp/
God help me

>>29391657
That's cool, can't wait to read it.

^

>>29388158

>Anon has tried dead horses, alive horses, and super dead horses
>Now he must venture into the realm of ghost horses
>He's sure that he can convince a ghost to give him its horn since they obviously don't need it anymore
>He's all ready to kill himself, but at the last second, Twilight walks in and sees him getting into the noose
>She thinks he's trying to kill himself
"Well, yeah. I mean it's actually true this time so good job I guess."
>Twilight gives Anon a lecture on enjoying life

Would you all be interested in another writer?

>>29392854
always room for one more writefag

So I'm >>29387159 and decided to try out >>29388158's middle prompt. May as well jump into it.
Title is "Anon's horn problem" because holy shit I can't into titles.

>"If your home world is completely void of magic, the chances of you being able to perform magic are slim."
>Twilight's ears are folded back, her tone further conveying the harsh reality of your situation.
>In any other subject you would throw in the towel. You've lost far too many arguments with her to dispute her knowledge. Fact-checking was never your strong point.
>You can make exceptions every now and then.
"I'll take slim chances over no chance. Not being able to perform magic in such a magical world is practically criminal."
>You shift slightly in your seat, a vain attempt to get comfortable in a chair slightly too small for you. Twilight's library is quite large even for you, but clearly seating wasn't designed for the vertically-gifted.
>Twilight remains silent for a moment. Is she coming up with another excuse to shoot down your dreams? She of all peo- ponies should be willing to keep trying until you were absolutely sure.
>"Anon, I already tried teaching you the basic spells foals start out with while monitoring your magic output. Nothing showed up!"
>You remember that experiment. The book she gave you was clearly designed for kids, the beige unicorn colt on the cover displaying a smile far too cheery for your liking. What was the name of it, 'Babby's first magic show'? Probably.
>You don't want to begin with small spells, you want to shoot fire out of your hands! Blow shit up, turn water into wine, change gravity with a snap of your fingers! The book's Table of Contents mentioned telekinesis but you didn't read up on it. Lifting things with magic should be the same as lifting with your arms, right?
>You fade back from your brief daydreaming and realize that Twilight never stopped talking. Shit, what is she going on about now?

>>29393397
>"...to mention that you're not a unicorn. How are you supposed to perform magic without a horn?"
>Twilight finishes her impromptu speech and stares at you with an eyebrow raised and a slight grimace on her face.
>Shit.
>You've never considered that before, which is surprising given how glaringly obvious the problem is.
>Sure earth ponies and pegasi have magic and use it to a minor extent, but they never use spells. All because they don't have a horn? Looks like it.
>This entire time you've been focusing on projecting spells through your hands. How cool would it be to fire magic with a sweet pair of finger pistols?
>Really fucking cool.
>But now you're being told that you can't use magic without a horn. A long pointy appendage that works as a great focal point. You don't have that.
>...
>Well, maybe you do...
>You slowly glance down to your crotch.
>Will it work? Can you perform unheard-of feats of magic with the power of your wang? Is pelvic thrusting a long-lost art of-
>"Well?"
>Oh right, Twilight.
>You hope she doesn't question your brief gazing. Straightening back up, you respond quickly and truthfully.
"I don't know."
>Even as the words leave your mouth you wish you could take them back. Not to reword, but because they hurt. You have no idea how you could possibly execute spells without using a horn.
>Your gaze drifts back south for reasons other than dick-watching. The dream is dead. You can't use magic. At all.
>You only wanted a taste of power. To live out the fantasy so many others back on Earth dreamed of and poured into stories and movies alike. Harry Potter getting the ultimate wand. Gandalf doing cool wizard shit too, also with a wand. Wait. Did he use a wand? You never watched the movies and now it's biting you in the ass.
>You wish Equestria had phone service, although your phone quickly became a glorified paperweight after you arrived. No internet tends to do that.
>Think Anon, think. Maybe it was a staff he used? You really can't remem-

>>29393411
>Wait.
>A wand.
>They used wands. Well, you're not sure if Gandalf did but lets say he did because you realize something that makes your breathing hitch slightly.
>They.
>Used.
>Wands.
>Long, thin, pointy objects clearly designed for magical usage.
>Unlike your penis.
>You need a wand. From what Twilight has said, unicorn horns are perfect conductors of magic.
>You can put two and two together.
>At this point you're reasonably positive that Gandalf used a staff but your mood is rising too much to dwell on facts.
>You look back up to Twilight.
>Throughout your mental musings Twilight has said nothing, yet her flattened ears and sad look tells you all she is thinking. Her ears perk up slightly as your facial expression shifts into one of carefully contained excitement.
"I need a wand. A unicorn wand"
>"What?"
"A wand from a unicorn. I mean - gah! A unicorn horn! As a wand!"
>Your volume increases with each failed pronunciation until you're almost yelling. Your heart-rate has also increased substantially. So much for containing your hope.
>Twilight is quick to process your words.
>"You want to use a unicorn horn as a wand?"
>Congratulations lady, you know how to listen!
>Twilight thinks for a moment.
>"You think using a unicorn horn as a wand will allow you to channel magic."
>She delivers that sentence as a statement rather than a question. She knows.
"Yea."
>"While I'm proud of you for coming to a theoretically-reasonable conclusion, unfortunately that's not possible."
>The look on your face must be awful because Twilight hastily continues before you can ask the obvious.
>"I mean, where are you supposed to get a unicorn horn?"
>Oh.
>You were expecting a more soul-crushing response. This? You can handle. You surprise yourself with how quickly you come up with a solution.
"Well I know there's a hospital here in Ponyville..."
>You purposefully trail off, hoping Twilight will figure it out and avoid making you voice your scheme.

>>29393420
>In all honesty, it's not a good plan. In fact, it's a bad plan. However, it's a plan and it's more than you had several minutes ago. You'll take this over nothing.
>Twilight has adopted the classic "I hope you're not serious" look that you've come to know and not love.
>She's really going to make you say it? Fine.
"Not everyone comes out of the hospital alive, so I was thinking th-"
>"You are NOT taking the horn of a deceased pony! Are you crazy?!?"
"What? Of course not. If you have a better solution then I would love to hear it."
>"I don't have any idea of how YOU would acquire a unicorn horn, but the LAST thing I would do is take one from the dead!"
>Twilight puts heavy emphasis on certain words to really hammer in how stupid you are, or at least should feel. It doesn't bother you though, you've disappointed your loved ones more than enough to dull the pain.
>In any case, as reluctant as you are to admit it, she's right. Again.
>Fuck.
"Good thinking, Sparkle. A horn from a dead unicorn probably wouldn't work. You know, because they're dead."
>Sound logic, Anon.
>You ignore the sputtering from a slightly malfunctioning Twilight and ponder upon a new potential issue.
>What if you go through the effort to acquire a unicorn horn and it doesn't work?
>Not that it won't. At least you hope it does. You're just considering all potential possibilities, yea? Yea. Let it be known that you were thorough in your ideas.
>Back to the issue. Horn may not work after doing work to get it. That is bad. You no like bad.
>You have a notion. A good notion by your standards.
"I need to borrow your horn."
>Twilight stops her impression of a failing locomotive to look at you in confusion.
>"What?"
"I need to borrow your horn. Don't worry, it won't take long."
>"Borrow my... Anon, how in Equestria do you plan on borrowing my horn?"
>How else?
"Well I have my saw I use-"
"YOU are NOT cutting off MY HORN!"

>>29393426
>You're really starting to get tired of Twilight interrupting you. Doesn't she know that's not polite?
"Well I need a horn to test out before I go hunting for one of my own."
>You pause.
"Actually, scratch that. You can keep it."
>Twilight's incredulous expression softens slightly but holds up in anticipation of whatever else you might have to say.
"I'll just try it out while it's attached to your head. You keep your horn, I get my test run. Win/win situation, am I right?"
>You raise and spread your arms to further drive home just how good your solution is. Theatrics isn't your thing but you need to sell this hard.
>If the look of disapproval Twilight is giving you right now tells you anything, it's that your solution is bad and your acting is worse.
>She begins to speak, but stops herself with pursed lips and a small sigh
>After a moment, she starts again.
>"You are not using my horn to test your magical abilities."
>What.
"Why not?"
>"Because I said so."
>Oh hell no.
>Sparkle did NOT just say that.
"'Becau-'"
>You have to stop and allow a small scoff to pass. Truly this mare has no idea what she just did.
"Because you said so? Am I a child? Do I look like a child?"
>Alright, so maybe sometimes you act like one. You know full well Twilight is going to say that so you continue on, slightly increasing the volume of your voice to avoid any possible cut-ins.
"Lets ignore that because I'm a nice person."
>Twilight's face is stone.
"Twilight, I thought you wanted to help me learn to use magic. Is that not the case anymore?"
>Her expression falls slightly and she pokes the floor lightly with her left fore-hoof.
>"Of course I want to help you Anon."
"Then please let me use your horn."
>You went all out with that last request. 'Please'? Even Twilight must now know you're dead serious.
>"...I'm sorry Anon but I can't."
>She's not looking at you anymore, opting to take a page from your earlier book and look at the ground.

>>29393436
>Weird, she doesn't look sad. A better description would be... nervous? It's hard to tell from this angle.
>Either way, you're not letting up. Maybe just jumping straight to the event will loosen her up to the idea.
>You get up from the chair, your back protesting due to your poor sitting posture. Your later years will be hell if you don't fix it now.
>Twilight's head raises to look at you, bending backwards until her entire body is also leaning back due to your close proximity. She mentioned before how much she disliked having to look up to meet your gaze. When you commented on the similar height between you and Celestia her only response was 'you appear taller.'
>Rude.
>That could also explain why Rainbow Dash almost always hovers at head height when talking to you. Or gloating to you, it all sounds the same.
>Twilight's face has returned to it's neutral look but switches to one of confusion when you reach down to her head.
>Then you grab her horn.
>The first thing you notice is it's surprisingly warm, likely due to Twilight's body temperature.
>The second thing you feel is a slight tingling in your hand. You focus on that. Is this magic? Feels weird, like your hand fell asleep.
>Alright, time to test out your magic capabilities! What first, maybe icicles shooting fro-
>Your brief magical adventure is cut short as a purple aura surrounds your hand.
>Holy shit, is that you? Are you subconsciously doing this?
>Your hopes are dashed when your fingers are slowly pried, one by one, off of Twilight's horn. When your little appendages are fully removed the aura carries your hand back to your side before disappearing.
>Drat.
>You finally take the time to look at Twilight. Her expression confuses you. It reminds you of whenever she puts a large amount of effort into a spell. Ever so slightly-labored breathing, mane slightly disheveled... wings raised slightly? Even her cheeks are a lighter shade of purple. Jeez, this experiment really took that much out of her?

>>29393443
>Twilight continues to stare at you, yet you feel she doesn't actually see you.
>After maybe 10 seconds, Twilight blinks once, her pupils and irises contracting briefly before returning to normal size. You always thought that was weird.
>"I... I'm fine, Anon."
"You sure? You don't look to well."
>It finally dawns on you.
"Aw crap, did I hurt you?"
>Shit, nice going Anon.
>You were so focused on getting awesome magical powers that you went and hurt one of your friends. Is that what you are, someone who uses their friends solely for personal gain? You really need to step back and re-evaluate your priorities.
>Twilight's voice snaps you out of your personal pity party.
>"You didn't hurt me. I just wasn't expecting that."
>She lets out a deep breath.
>"In the future, please do not touch my horn."
"Okay"
>You keep your answer short and sweet. Twilight says she's fine but for all you know she could be downplaying the effects. Better to get out of her mane and avoid any further fuckups.
"Well, I think I'll head out now. I, uh... yea."
>Your voice dies down as you fail to come up with a sufficient excuse to leave. Thankfully Twilight doesn't push the issue. In fact, she seems eager to see you go. Or just back to her normal mood. Really, this entire session was one mixed bag of crushed hopes and whole pieces of renewed belief.
>"I'll see you around, Anon. Bye!"
"Later Twilight"
>You ease your way around her and head for the open door. A few steps before you make it out, Twilight's voice speaks up.
>"Anon?"
>You turn around reluctantly. You knew it, you fucked up. This is how it ends. Not with a bang, but with a slightly aggravated mare.
"Yes?"
>Twilight looks at you with worry.
>"Please don't go to the hospital"
>Oh.
>You chuckle lightly.
"I'm not going to the hospital, I promise."
>Your words seem to satisfy her.
>"Good."
>You nod briefly in acknowledgement before turning back around to leave.
>"Anon?"

>>29393456
>Fucking hell.
>Is this your punishment? Forever on the brink of escape, doomed to merely eye freedom?
"Yes?"
>You can't avoid the exacerbation creeping into your tone. You also don't turn around completely, instead opting to only rotate your head slightly to the right to hear better.
>"Don't touch ANY unicorn's horn without permission."
>Emphasis on 'any', got it.
"Of course Twilight, it won't happen again. I'm sorry."
>"No harm done, Anon, don't worry. Have a good day!"
"You too."
>With your conversation done, you finally step out into the hallway and move towards the outside world.

-------------

Yea, so that's the first part. First time "writing", so it took me the better part of 5 hours and a light headache.
Criticism needed, if not wanted. My vocabulary is extremely limited and I'm fairly sure the pacing increased towards the end (largely due to it being 5 in the morning).

>>29393481
Why doesn't Anon just become Olivanon and make his own wand? He's got everything he could need, magical tree wood (apple, everfree, are the most magical ones I could think of wood from the tree of harmony could probably make the equivalent of the elder wand) and he's got all the components available for the possible cores (unicorn hair, maybe alicorn or pegasi hair could work as well, phoenix feather, and dragon heartstring) this could work if he knew what the fuck he was doing
but aside from that I quite enjoyed this so far and I'd be up for seeing more

File: the-silencer-wallpaper-dota-2.jpg (2MB, 2300x1453px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 2300x1453px

having no magic didn't stop nortrom from fucking everyone up

>>29393531
That's another possible story someone could create. For this bit lets go with the classic "They didn't think their plan through".

>>29389558
>>29392772
kek

>>29393481
Love it, I'm totally hooked. There were plenty of funny moments, and I honestly didn't notice that your vocab is limited.
Since you're a new writer, then could you maybe make a pastebin?

Post more.

>>29393531
>Why doesn't Anon just become Olivanon and make his own wand?
Because of plot convenience, see: >>29388158

Well I didn't expect the thread to die so fast so I guess my time table moved up. Update coming either tonight or tomorrow. My money is on tomorrow.

I like the stories of this thread and don't want it to die. Have a bump, friends.

File: image.jpg (32KB, 478x351px)

32KB, 478x351px

Bumping for more green.

>>29395997
Maybe you could offer discussion instead of bumps

>>29396821
bump

>>29393481
Awesome story my dude

>>29396821
Here's a discussion topic, how would you personally survive in a world where magic is such a necessity? What kind of skill set would benefit in that situation? I'm thinking being a writer or an artist or something that isn't manual labor would be best, considering how magic is infinitely better at that.

>>29396884
An engineer or a doctor. I'm not very smart, I know, but what I know in those fields is still far beyond anything the ponies know. I'm also sure that if it became my livelihood instead of a passing interest, I would get much better at them.

>>29396884
Gimme that Old Time Religion~

>>29396884
Pray to God.

Update on >>29393481
I can't (read: won't) give any dates of delivery until I'm already done with a part. I'm extremely prone to backing out of deadlines even given to myself, so I'd hate to raise the hopes of even one person and destroy them later.
Part 2 is approaching completion but it's past 5am and I'd rather not include 'exhaustion' in the list of things that ruin the story. I'll include a pastebin with the updated and revised story when I post it.

/Shitty blogpost

>>29396884
find a way to steal all the magic for myself

>>29397940
>I'm extremely prone to backing out of deadlines even given to myself,
That's normal.
Humans have tendency to subconsciously mistake realistic plans with best case scenario plans (there were studies about this).
So don't be so hard on yourself writebro.

bemp

>>29398554
Vegeta works himself to the bone and he manages fine

keep it alive

Bump
saved bread

>>29401903
Please return writefriends

>>29401921
On the way

El bump.

>>29375875

>Was that you?
>No, it was the wind. Your luck isn’t that good.
>It definitely won’t work if you hold your hand out ahead of you and focus on moving a small branch sticking out of the snow exactly like this.
>If you wave your hand, the stick won’t lift out of the icy fluff and wiggle around.
“Holy shit.”
>No, no this is a fluke.
>It has to be.
>You waggle your finger, prompting the floating branch to come towards you.
>It refuses to move from its place in space.
“Come to me,” you say, closing your fist and bringing it towards your chest. “Come to me now.”
>Amazingly, the stick obeys.
>It, wrapped in a lavender aura, slowly drifts in your direction as if it were on a gentle ocean current.
>Lurching out, you snatch the small piece of wood out of the air.
>It’s a normal branch from what your naked eyes can tell.
>You don’t see any signs that it might be enchanted, there’s no charms, and you can’t see any runes.
>It’s just a regular, stupid old stick.
>Well if it moved for you and the snow moved for you, then could these two coincidences be related?
>Does this actually mean you’ve done it?
>No fucking way.
>You’ve done it.
>You’ve done it!
>Your face hurts as the biggest smile you’ve ever shown appears on your face.
>You leap into the air, pumping your fists.
“Haaaaaaa! Haaaaaa ha ha ha! Yes! I did it I did it I did it I did it I did it I did it!”

>>29403171

>You land, feeling light as a feather, and run around without any real direction.
>Your whole body is filled with energy.
“Yes! Anonymous! Big, bad Anonymous! Take that, Equestria! I’ve joined the ranks of legends!”
>Your name will be written in the history books.
>Anon, the greatest wizard who ever lived.
>The first man to ever spell bind a living thing.
>No more weakness. No more helplessness.
>You’re not some pathetic little wimp anymore.
>Nobody saves you! Now you do the saving!
>Greatness awaits!
>Another laugh comes on.
>Your joy echoes out into the frosty night air.
>You can’t even feel the cold anymore.
>Your blood courses through your veins with fervor, raising your body temperature as high as your spirits.
“Oh man, what should I do next?”
>What should you do? Well, that’s obvious.
>Anything you want!
>The world is your oyster!
>You, with your bare hands and only a few felonies, have pried open the shell of the universe and revealed its treasure.
>It’s all yours now.
>Everything you need to make it in this world is now quite literally at your fingertips.
>Strength.
>Magic.
>Yes, magic. That’s what you need.
>More magic.
>You have to study!
>You toss the stick into the air and grasp it in your telekinetic force.
>Mocking a pitch, you send the thing flying through sky, watching it disappear past the horizon.
>With that done, you run back inside and get to the important stuff.

>>29403178

>The next day.
>Your slow trot has turned into a gallop.
>You were on your way to Anon’s house when you heard another scream similar to when you found him in the Everfree last week.
>Wait, if you found Anon in the Everfree, that must mean you’re Twilight Sparkle now.
>Anyway, you race across town, eager to save him from whatever monsters are at his doorstep.
>His small cabin comes into view past the jungle that his walkway has become.
>Branches jut out into the path and dead leaves litter the snowy covering.
>You have to maneuver through them, careful not to scratch yourself, before his cabin comes into view.
>Quickly closing the gap between the walkway and his door, you start banging on it.
“Anon, I’m here! Do you need help? Open up!”
>Oh no, he’s not answering.
>You might have to break the door down.
>Well, Applejack always said that sometimes a door needs a good kicking.
>Oh no, you were supposed to go to Applejack’s today to discuss advanced farm theory.
>Well, you can still make it if you kill whatever is maiming Anon quickly.
>You turn around and prepare to kick, but just as your muscles are cocked, the door clicks and slides open.
>That was easy.
>Well, best not to waste time!
>You burst in, horn charged and ready.
“I’m here, Anon! Where are they? I’ll save you!”
>You scan the room for threats.
>All there is is Anon on the other side of the room, covered up from head to toe.
>”Hello, Twilight,” he mumbles.
“Anon? Where are the monsters?”
>”Excuse me?”
“You were screaming. I figured you needed saving again.”
>”Never again,” he snaps, pulling his attention from the book he was previously engrossed in.
>The desk he’s at is piled high with spell books and history books.
>There’s even a few scrolls which you could have sworn you once saw in the Castle of the Two Sisters.

>>29403185

>His frayed beard does little to hide his grimace.
>Thankfully, his sour expression returns to something more bored, and he goes back to reading.
>”No monsters. I was practicing some primal scream therapy.”
“What’s that?”
>”It’s a human thing.”
>Oh, human things? That’s great.
>You can learn about it and strengthen the friendship between you two.
>Although you’ll have to get whoever else is here to go.

“So, who is with you today?”
>”Nobody.”
>Nobody? Then how did the door open?
>He sighs and rises, grabbing the sides of the blanket draped over his shoulders and pulling them in to keep it from falling.
>”Twilight, why are you here?”
“What do you mean?”
>”The last time I saw you, I slapped you across the face, humiliated you in front of your subjects, and told you to leave me alone. Why are you here?”
“You opened the door.”
>He squints at your response.
>Is he going to say something?
>Maybe you should break the ice.
>No, let him feel like he has the power here. It’s what Celestia would do in one of her meetings.
>Whenever a frail, weak little excuse of a diplomat would come to Canterlot, she would make them feel more at home by offering them the first of everything.
>It makes sense then that a weak little human like Anon should have the first word here.
>For friendship.
>”Do you want to leave? I’m kind of busy.”
>Gosh darn it, there he goes again.
>Why can’t he just let you be a friend?
“I’d rather have a cup and a chat, if it’s all the same to you.”
>”It’s not. Leave.”
“I won’t go that easily, Anon. You can’t exactly run away from me in your own home, so I suggest you talk to me now or we can wrestle as you try to drag me outside.”
>”You’re a cunt.”
“What’s that mean?”
>”It’s human for turn around.”
>Awesome! You’re making progress.
>You smile and obey, giving him the privacy he desires.

>>29403198

>In the background, you can hear fabric shuffling as he likely gets changed.
“You humans are so silly with your clothes. You know those are only for formal events, right?”
>”Maybe in Equestria. On Earth, any decent person covers themselves.”
“Did you like that I left your underwear on while you were in the hospital?”
>”Stop fishing for compliments. Alright, turn around now.”
>Once more, you follow his orders.
>He’s changed from the blanket to pajamas covered by a bathrobe covered by a coat.
>Jeez, you didn’t think it was that cold in here.
>Is it because he’s hairless?
>You should charm his cabin so that it’s warmer!

>”If I get you to drink some vodka, do you think you’d get drunk enough to stumble out my door faster?”
“Nope. Not since I learned that sobering spell.”
>”Explain.”
“Don’t you remember you gave me that sobering spell you found?”
>”At the Christmas party?”
“The what?”
>”The Christmas party. At Applejacks.”
“Oh, you mean Hearthswarming.”
>”No, but continue.”
”Well, now that I know it, I don’t have to worry about cider or this ‘vodka’ stuff anymore.”
>”So you’re telling me it worked?”
“Why wouldn’t it?”
>”Ha! I’m on a roll!”
>He practically skips into the kitchen and preps a small pot of tea.
>Anon happy. That’s something you haven’t seen in a while.
>This is real progress, Twilight.

That's all for tonight. Short, I know, but I'll be back with more tomorrow to make up for it. In the mean time, have this pastebin http://pastebin.com/5ECNnjxF

>>29403224

Sorry for the lack of updates lately. I've been getting a ton more hours at work recently and have no time to myself. I'll work writing in when I can, but it's just not going to come out at the same pace it was before. I mean, it could if I was willing to sacrifice sleep, but anyone who read the beginning of King Anon knows that me writing while tired is a very bad idea so it just cancels out anyway. I hope everyone is liking the story so far and that the sparsity of these updates isn't turning anyone off.

>>29403233
I'm enjoying this story immensely, and certainly don't mind the wait. Quality over quantity, please.

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>>29403233
Another great update m8. Take your time with the story, waiting sucks but a poor story sucks even more.

Buml

>>29397940
Second part of 'Anon's horn problem' is finished. I'll post later today after I revise it the best I can. Currently 6am, have a page 3 bump.

>>29403233
waiting does suck, but this is a great story so I always look forward to a new update, keep it up and take your time

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>>29393481
>Be writefag
>Always wondering how long it takes for other writefags to do their thing
>New writer wrote 7.5 posts worth in 5 hours and claims to be slow
>Mfw after 2 years i only write ~4 posts in that time frame
Comparing to myself that s not slow at all, decent quality too
I also really gotta step up my game

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>>29404597
>less than 1 post/hour
>after 2 years of practice

>>29404114
Cant wait

>>29403224
Good work anon hyped to see what comes next

Page 9 bump.

>>29396884
Probably some sort of pyramid scheme or scam. If I get rich enough, it won't matter.

>>29405045
Not being first language + proofreads fąm

But yea still pretty slow, which is why i wanted to compare with someone else
Seeing the new writefag doing almost double didnt help with my suspictions of how slow i actually am thou

>You were shitposting on imageboards.
>Well, until you seen that image.
>The one with the banana.
>You /hate/ that image. Infuriated, you began to screech autistically and was ready to shitpost some more.

>Right when you were about to click post, your chest began to hurt.
>You gasped for breath. You were having a heart attack. You fumbled for your phone to call for help but couldn't seem to turn it on.
>Damn thing was dead.

>You was going to die. You didn't want anyone to see your r34 folder of Nyx so you hastily began to nuke all of your porn.
>Half way through deleting, the pain in your chest went away. That was good.
>Realizing what you just done, you quickly click cancel.
>That’s when everything went dark.

>>29406263
>You open your eyes, immediately recalling the events that just happened.
>You strained to catch an outline of anything, but the room was pitch black.
>You didn't exactly really believe in a God, but you sometimes asked him to float some luck your way here and there.
>You'd figure you should be in hell, but to your surprise you weren't burning or in any pain.
>You feel around your surroundings and find a blanket.
>Then you found a pillow.
>Wait a minute. That all had to have been a dream.
>You couldn’t shake the feeling though. It all felt too real. You get up out of bed, and stumble around in the darkness for the wall, looking for the lightswitch.
>You trip over something squishy.
>"Agh!"
>You went stiff. Someone was in your room.
>"Ouch… Who's there? Twilight, you okay?" The voice was sort of feminine, but too deep to be female.
>You quickly recover from your fall, and back up, running into the wall.
"Who's Twilight? What are you doing in my room?"
>You spoke without fear in your voice. You were less afraid now you were sure the voice was from a kid and you was more just in shock.
>"Wait, what? W-who are you?"
>You really needed to see what was going on.
"Look, don’t be scared. I'm Anon, could you tell me what is going on?"
>You cringed at the nervousness in your voice and the fact that you just rhymed.
"Could you please turn on the lights? I need to figure out what happened."
>With that, fire briefly illuminated the area in front of you, lighting a candle.
>The glow of the candle illuminated a cartoonish purple looking midget thing. You think you were beginning to have another heart attack.
>Darkness and silence succumbed you once again.

Just trying out this idea for a story I have in my head. Will make updates soon.

>>29406269
I decided I wanted to show how Anon ended up in Equestria, and not follow the prompt exactly. I promise the story will get there.

>>29406269
>>29406379
It's cool man, I'm interested, please continue

>>29406269
>Your eyes shot open, and were met with sunlight.
>You winced and were temporarily blinded.
>"Oh good, you're awake. I was beginning to worry you were in a coma."
>That voice, it sounded very familiar. Your vision began to fade in and you sat up.
>You are not in your room. Your gaze is met with two large purple eyes.
>Holy fuck. That’s Twilight Sparkle from the show! Where the fuck were you?
>You yelp in surprise. You heard another voice in the distance.
>”Hey Twilight, I found the book you were looking for. It looks like it may tell us more about him.”
>You’re gaze leaves those purple eyes and to something else that is purple.
>Oh, you realised. That must have been who you tripped over. You tripped over Spike!
>Your jaw went slack. You were in awe. This couldn’t be real. This had to be a dream.
>”That’s great, Spike! Look, guess who’s awake!.”
>This must be a /very/ vivid dream. It almost felt like book horse actually just laid her hoof on your shoulder.
>You remember just before that you thought you died. It felt very real too. You don’t remember ever going to bed before that. You decide to figure that out later.
>”Shh it’s okay, I’m not here to hurt you. The name’s Anon, is it not?”
>Oh yeah, you told Spike your name.
>The look on your face made her tone down her excitement. She didn’t want to startle you anymore than she thought you were.
>He rushed over to her side.
>”Hey Anon, you feeling okay? You sorta fell face first into the floor after you blacked out. Crystal is pretty hard, ya know.”
>Your expression didn’t change. They both frowned.
>You had an idea. If you were lucid dreaming, you should have some degree of control over what happens. You should be able to make yourself wake up.
>You imagine yourself exploding.
>A moment passes. Nothing.
>This still couldn’t be real, could it?
“Yeah…that’s Right. Where am I?”

I've decided to write large parts and stagger out updates over time. I'll fix some mistakes in an updated pastebin.

>>29406239
>Not being first language
Oh, that explains it. I imagine it's normal if you're taking twice as much time as others if you have to do twice as much work (write green in your mother language and then translate it).

>>29406510
It starts interesting. I hope you'll post more soon.

>>29406510
>You eased up for their sake. They looked pretty worried.
>”You’re in Equestria. I believe you came from another dimension, one of which I happen to know quite a lot about.”
>That’s right. Equestria Girls. Spike and Twilight both would know what humans looked like.
>Wait. She said another dimension. You thought about the portal. If you came from the portal, wouldn’t you turn into a pony, sort of like how Twilight turned into a human?
>EQG never happened in your universe.
>No. You didn’t come through the portal, and you aren’t dreaming.

>”Let’s put off that topic for now. How are you feeling? You hit your head pretty hard, and I’m not certain how well healing magic works on humans.”
>The thought of traveling dimensions baffles you. You need to push those thoughts aside for later.
>Your head hurts a little, but you don’t want to worry her further.
“I’m feeling alright… So you’re ponies? We have creatures sort of like you where I’m from, but they’re illiterate, and likely by your standards retarded.”

>Nah, you aren’t going to say anything about your knowledge of the show yet. You figure now is not the time.
>Spike shrugged, and Twilight frowned.
>Yeah, you should probably choose my words more carefully.
“Am I really from another dimension? How do I know I’m not just dreaming?”
>”Well, do you feel like you’re in a dream?” Twilight asked.

“No… but I remember dying before I awoke here. My heart did a meme on me I guess.”
>”What’s a meme?” Spike asked.
“Oh, I mean my heart gave out. It’s not like I had much of a life there, anyway.”
>You begin to accept that you died in your world, and reincarnated into this one. Incarnated exactly the same age before you died, with all memories of your past. Did you even die?

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Waiting for my fellow writefag to finish before I update.

>>29407075
>Waiting for my fellow writefag
b-but he posts one post per hour!
It's great that you don't want to interrupt Ritefrend, but I NEED my dose! Can't you at least update your pastebin and post link?

>>29407112
Ah, I was expecting multiple posts across the span of 10-ish minutes. I'l just dump now.

>>29407053
>”Well, I guess Equestria is your home now. I think I know how to get you back in your dimension, I mean, that is if you want. One thing really bothers me though. I find it very strange that you would randomly wake up here in my castle. Something tells me somepony very powerful was involved, somehow.”
>You stand up, and stretch. Wow, you are tense.
>"Oh silly me, I never introduced myself. I'm Twilight, and this is spike"
“How long was I out?”
>”Not very long, about two days now.”
>You walk over to the window and look out across the landscape. You wonder if time worked the same here.
>You are in Twilight’s Castle, in Ponyville. The view from up here is phenomenal.
>Everything’s made up of mostly bright colors. You could see many houses with roofs made of hay and with you guessed to be white, clay walls, which are lined with mostly just pink trimming.
>You could see ponies in the distance going about their daily lives. It truly looks bigger than what it did in the show.
>”You, of course, are welcome in the castle for as long as you like. If you want, I can show you around Ponyville and let you meet my friends. I think you will like it here.”
>You turn to face her and grin.
>It looks like you are getting a fresh start at life, and living the dream of an entire board of autists.

>Well, you hoped this wasn’t a dream.
>You really wanted to meet a few ponies.
“That would be great! ...But uh, don’t you think pe- ponies might find the sight of me… Strange?”
>You are getting anxious. How would they react?
>You hoped in the presence of Twilight no one will freak out.
>”We should get something to eat. I figure there’s some food here that’s the same as in your world.”
>”Spike, could you go ahead and deliver an update to Celestia? I’m sure she’d like to know she can visit now.”
>Wow, you was going to meet another princess. You wonder how that conversation will go down.

That's all for now. I'll continue writing and make some updates in a few hours.

>>29393481
>You navigate your way to the front door, idly glancing at the many rooms you pass by.
>Twilight's castle is far bigger on the inside than its exterior suggests. You chalk it up to more magical shenanigans.
>As you step outside you take note of the sun's gradual descent. Sunset is approaching, which means dinnertime is near.
>Strolling along the well-beaten road, your thoughts return to your current predicament. You wanted to use the time spent heading home to ease up and approach your task with a clear head but it's impossible. One question continues to present itself to you no matter how hard you try to ignore it.
>'What now?'
>Testing out a unicorn horn before actually removing it is out of the equation. Twilight's reaction certainly confirms that. That only leaves getting a horn, and you've already shot down retrieving one from the deceased.
>Then again, your response to Twilight was mainly constructed to save face. There's really only one way to find out if your idea was-
>You snap back to reality and find the upper-half of your body continuing forward while your legs remain pressed against a furry object. Shit, you're falling!
>You instinctively flail your arms and arch your back backwards in an effort to stay upright, but you're fighting a losing battle. You'll be damned if you don't try, though.
>This isn't working, time to improvise.
>You lean forward and accept your fate, moving your forearms in front of you. As they touch the ground you proceed to push off with your feet, executing a classic tuck-n-roll.
>Beautiful.
>You can't help but raise your arms perpendicular to your sides as you get up, just like a gymnast. Really, if anyone was watching that it would surely receive a perfect ten.
>Turning around to face your fuzzy obstacle, you eye the earth pony's reaction. Certainly he can appreciate the fine art of tumbling.
>"Are you okay? I tried to move out of the way but I wasn't fast enough."
>Guess not.

>>29407175
>His tone is sincere although that doesn't surprise you. Who gets bumped into by a distracted citizen and apologizes instead? Ponies, that's who. These miniature chromatic horses can be far too nice for their own good.
>You're not complaining. That's how you got a free house to live in.
"I'm alright. Just keeping myself prepped for the Olympics."
>You perform a few exaggerated stretches to stay in character.
>The lime-green stallion doesn't call your bluff. Maybe your acting isn't bad. Either that or he has no idea what the hell an 'Olympics' is.
>"If you say so. Have a nice day."
>He waves politely before turning around to head in the direction you came from.
>As he leaves you sneak a peak at his cutie mark. Is that a yoga mat? It doesn't look like anything gymnastics-related.
>Clearly you aren't fit to think and walk at the same time, that's how road accidents happen. You'll never get home at this rate. Time to find a place to sit and let the creative juices flow.
>You swiftly find an unoccupied bench without any further incidents and sit down, your legs splayed out far ahead of you. Hopefully no one trips over them.
>That was easy. Now comes the hard part.
>What were you thinking about before that little fiasco? Unicorn horns and how to get one? Sounds about right. Something about deceased ponies being a no-go. Duh, they're dead, of course it wouldn't work.
>So now you're tasked with retrieving a horn from a living unicorn. Except who the hell would willingly let you surgically remove their horn, an object vital to performing complex feats of magic? Abso-fucking-lutely no one, that's who.
>"Hey Anon, what's up?"
>Turning your head to the right, you notice a mint-green unicorn standing next to you. Is that Lyra?
>Yes, that is Lyra.

>>29407214
>Back when you first arrived in Ponyville, most of the populace weren't too thrilled to see you. A 'tall, bipedal hairless minotaur' (thank you Granny Smith) is unsurprisingly quite the rare sight in Equestria, let alone Ponyville.
>Sure everyone warmed up to you over time but those first few weeks were awkward as fuck; ponies are absolutely terrible at hiding their true feelings. Seeing so many local residents instinctively shy away from you despite doing their best to make you feel at home left you frustrated and plagued with guilt.
>Thankfully Pinkie was there to speed up the introductory process. Her 'Welcome-to-Ponyville-and-save-the-endangered-Anons' party was a hit, although the title wasn't one of her greatest works.
>Despite the party being in your honor, it was clear most ponies were still somewhat reluctant to interact with you. A brief greeting and comment on the festivities were the best you could coax out of them.
>So you were surprised to see a mint-green pony approach you.
>Wait, no.
>You were surprised at /how/ she approached you.
>No look of slight apprehension, rather, one of curiosity.
>Her gait was casual, a stark difference to the near tip-toe movements of other ponies as though they were afraid to startle you.
>You learned through your short chitchat that her name was Lyra and she played the lyre. She also had a lyre as her cutie mark.
>Go fucking figure.
>Through the passing weeks and months whenever the two of you happened to meet up you would converse. The topics almost always revolved around you, mainly Earth and humans in general.
>It didn't bother you. Unlike a certain purple alicorn, Lyra rarely asked you to elaborate on specific subjects.
>Your hands was one of said subjects.
>Lyra takes great interest in how your hands are primarily meant to hold and carefully manipulate, not tear and dismember like claws/talons. You've pointed out the far greater capabilities of magic, only to be met with a simple 'eh'.
>You digress.

>>29407234
>The point is, Lyra is a great pony who helped show others how relatively harmless you are.
>And while you're not sure the two of you hang out enough to call each other 'friends', you can say with near-certainty she's a close acquaintance.
>"Equestria to Anon, do you copy? Helloooooo!!!"
>Lyra waves a fore-hoof in front of your face, ending a great flashback. When she sees your gaze refocus back onto her, she returns to standing on all four hooves, a touch of amusement visible on her face.
>"Are you finally back with the living?"
>It's impossible to miss the slight teasing in her voice.
"Hurhur, very funny."
>"Whatcha thinking about?"
>Lyra takes this opportunity to procure a new position. Stepping carefully over your outstretched legs, she hops up onto the bench before adopting a posture similar to yours. The only difference is she keeps both forelegs at her sides.
>You've already gotten over how disturbingly flexible ponies' joints are, but there's no way in hell that position is comfortable for her.
>If there's any discomfort, Lyra makes no indication. Instead she glances over to you, her new seat putting her head a tad bit above yours.
>"Well?"
>You hesitate to respond.
>Is your dilemma something you should share with Lyra? You're not sure what her reaction would be. Absolutely horrified, positively thrilled? The possibilities are endless.
>You eye Lyra's current mood. She hasn't said anything extra, content to watch you silently debate with yourself. With each passing second of silence however, you can see concern slowly creep onto her features.
>Fuck it, you'll blab. Heck, maybe she can offer you some ideas. She is a unicorn after all.
>Wait.
>She's a unicorn.
>God dammit, Anon, how do you miss these obvious things?
>You rotate your head fully to the left, head tilted slightly upwards to meet Lyra's eyes. Her expression still contains worry as you start speaking.

>>29407053
>My heart did a meme on me
kek

>>29407249
"I, uh, met up with Twilight earlier to discuss my magical potency or lack thereof. I won't go into the details. To make a long story short, I need a unicorn horn if I want to use magic. At least, I think so."
>You hope.
>Lyra still looks worried.
>"Are you absolutely sure you need a horn?"
>You repeat your last spoken sentence.
>"Were do you plan on getting a horn from?"
>And there it is.
>That timeless inquiry you've already heard far more than you want to. Hardly her fault, it's an obvious followup question. Unfortunately it's not an easy question to answer.
"I'm not sure."
>You gesture briefly upwards with your right hand before letting it fall back to your knee with a small slap.
"Do you have any suggestions? I'll take all the help I can get."
>"Hmm..."
>Lyra trails off, no longer looking at you. Instead her gaze drifts out towards the town, likely lost in thought.
>You return to your own. Really, you only want to know if you can perform magic. Just a short test is all you're asking for... right now, at least. Could you say the same if it turns out you are a walking, talking wizard?
>Don't think about it, Anon. Just focus on the here and now. Right now you still want that test drive with a unicorn horn, sans the unicorn attached to it of course.
>We don't want a Twilight repeat.
>Will Lyra be okay with letting you borrow her horn? She's fairly relaxed most of the time. The two of you never have any difficulty communicating and the closest you come to fighting is light-hearted debating.
>What the hell, it's worth a shot. You have nothing to lose at this moment.
>You're also becoming increasingly desperate, but that's beside the point.
>Before you can speak, Lyra pipes up.
>"I... I can't think of any possible way you could get a horn. Legally of course."
>She finishes her sentence with a tiny cough. Her ears are also folded down and her eyes are filled with sorrow. Standard sad pony look.

>>29407259
>Goddamn, that shit breaks your heart every time. It should be illegal for ponies to look so downcast.
>Maybe your request will cheer her up.
"I have an idea."
>Lyra's face is unchanged, likely due to guilt over being unable to help. At least that's what she thinks so far.
"Let me borrow your horn."
>Yea, you really need to work on your wording and delivery. Maybe sound less like you're giving a command and more like you're offering a good suggestion.
>To her credit, Lyra doesn't seem to take offense to your poor diction. Rather, her expression contorts into one of bemusement while her ears remain flat.
>"Huh?"
>Ponies' sense of hearing far surpasses yours, so you know damn well Lyra heard you.
"I would like to borrow your horn."
>You do better on your second attempt. Your tone is much softer than before.
>Lyra blinks twice rapidly before opening her mouth.
>"Why-"
>She cuts herself short with a brief eye roll.
>"How do you plan on borrowing my horn?"
>Ever get that feeling of deja-vu?
"I would, ehhh... I'd have to cut it off."
>No point in beating around the bush, although you wish there was a better way to say that.
>Unsurprisingly, Lyra is shocked. Eyes wide open, they slowly rotate upwards to look at her horn. She raises her left fore-hoof and pokes her horn gently.
>You remain silent although you're already preparing yourself to be shutdown. Lyra's reaction is not quite what you were hoping for yet it's what you expected. Turns out a unicorn's horn is kinda important, who would've thought?
>"Wouldn't that hurt?"
>That's not what you were expecting.
>Of course it won't hurt.
>You begin to deny her concerns but balk.
>You don't actually know if it will cause any pain. Despite that, you almost lied to her and to yourself.
>What the hell is wrong with you? You're better than that, right?
>You believe so.

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>>29407174
>You really wanted to meet a few ponies.
>inb4 Anon is a glimfag

>>29407174
Ouch, sloppy spacing. I fucked up on tenses throughout the entire thing. Here's a pastebin with most of that fixed. I'll be more careful with that now.
http://pastebin.com/Fsm9pvU2

>>29407282
>Okay, let's play it safe. You'll assume that having a horn cut off is quite the unpleasant experience for a unicorn. How would you make it pleasant, or tolerable at the very least?
>Anesthetic, that's how. You know ponies have it, or at least something similar. You're not a doctor.
>Now how will you go about retrieving it?
>Easy, just walk into the hospital and say 'one anesthetic, please.' Your real reason for it will be hidden under the guise of important human business. Again, some ponies are far too nice.
"We'll use anesthesia, of course. You won't feel a thing! I just need to head to the hospital and..."
>Saying 'hospital' out loud brings a long-forgotten memory back from the dead. You can faintly hear Twilight's voice echoing through your mind.
>'Please don't go to the hospital'
>Dammit brain, why do you have recall promises now of all times? So much for your idea.
>Maybe you can ask someone to get the anesthetic? How about the CMC? Those adorable little bastards are always looking to earn a cutie mark, hardly any time would be spent convincing them.
>Then again, the pint-sized trio are quite the troublemakers at times. No way in hell they wouldn't be questioned extensively. That would lead to their family getting involved, which would eventually lead to Twilight getting involved...
>You don't want that. Anything but a lecture.
>Who else can you go to? Not any of Twilight's friends, that's for sure. They might bring up your odd request in casual conversation with Twilight, and then comes the lecture.
>Fuck lectures.
>Your options are growing narrower with each name you mentally cross out. This isn't looking good.
>"I don't think I'm comfortable with having my horn being removed"
>What.
>There's that familiar sinking feeling in your gut. Hello darkness my old friend.
>You really shouldn't push such an unusual subject any farther, but you have to know.
"Why not?"
>Lyra fidgets in her seat. Maybe you were right about that position being awkward.

>>29407306
>"I'm rather fond of it. I also do need it to use magic."
>She's staring directly into your eyes now and you see her features falling back into sadness.
>"I want nothing more than to help you, Anon, but I can't give up my horn."
>You're not proud of your next words. They reek of anguish.
"I didn't say I was keeping it. I'm just gonna test it out, you know? See if I can use spells, that's all. I'll reattach it the second I'm finished."
>The words come tumbling out quicker than you want them to. Are you trying to convince Lyra or yourself?
>Lyra gives a near-imperceptible shake of her head. Her eyes are also closed.
>...
>......
>You're numb.
>You thought your reaction at Twilight's castle was bad, but this...
>You want to speak.
>You want to apologize for wasting Lyra's time, for giving such a stupid request.
>You want to at least look at her, to know what she's thinking.
>You want to say something.
>/Anything/.
>But you can't.
>You can only think about the current state of your aspirations.
>Dead.
>...
>Maybe if you stare at the ground long enough, things will get better.
>Maybe.
>Did something touch you?
>A soft poke at your left arm confirms it. Yes, you were touched.
>Turn your head Anon, it's probably Lyra. You should pay attention to her.
>You comply with your thoughts, rotating your head to look at the mint-green mare staring at you with the same downcast look as earlier. The two of you must look like the saddest couple.
>"I'm sorry, Anon"
>She sounds like she means it. Why would she be sorry? It's not her fault you're an idiot.
"No, no. Don't be."
>Your words come out as a half-whisper. It's taking far more effort than it should just to enunciate.
>Lyra remains silent for a moment. Your eyes dart around, looking anywhere but at her.
>"I have an idea."
>She leans forward to divert your gaze from the local landscape.
>"How about I make it up to you? Let's say we head to the Midnight Moon tomorrow evening for a light dinner and some drinks?"

>>29407315
>Lyra puts a fore-hoof on your shoulder as she finishes.
>Make it up to you?
>Make what up to you? Why is she being so nice? This is your fault in every possible way, yet she's offering you a night out to forget your woes.
>The least you can do is accept. If not for you, for her. She deserves it after being put through this conversation.
>You straighten up from a slumped position you never noticed you were in.
"Sure, Lyra. That's sounds nice."
>You follow that up with what is unquestionably the most-forced smile you've ever done. You don't want to smile but it helps stress your gratefulness.
>And you are grateful. Even through the current haze of depression clouding your every thought, you appreciate her gesture.
>Lyra returns your smile with a more genuine one.
>"What time is good for you? I'll be a little busier than usual tomorrow but I'm free seven-o'-clock and onwards."
>Any time is a good time for you. It's not like you were exceptionally busy during the day or night.
"Eight-o'clock sound okay?"
>Lyra nods.
>"Great!"
>She looks up at the reddening sky then back to you, a small sigh escaping her lips.
>"I need to get going. Cooking duties are my responsibility this week and I'm sure Bon-bon won't be happy if she has to start dinner instead."
>You nod in understanding. You may not have experience in pissing off roommates, but you make up for it by disappointing others.
>Lyra raises her left hind-leg until her hoof is touching the seat, then leans into you, wrapping her left foreleg around your chest.
>Oh, she's giving you a hug. That's a first.
>You return the hug. She's soft. Ponies are soft.
>As you start to question the length of this hug, Lyra lets up, returning to her sitting position before pushing off the back of the bench and standing up. She turns around to give you another warm smile. She appears quite happy considering the events that just transpired.
>"I'll catch you tomorrow then."
"Yea."

>>29407326
>You follow that up with another smile, although it's probably more of a grimace.
>Lyra nods once with satisfaction.
>"Have a good evening, Anon!"
>She turns to her right and walks off.
>You watch her leave for a moment before returning to your thoughts.
>What now?
>This dirt is quite interesting, perhaps you should keep staring at it.
>No, you have important things to do. Eating, showering, basic functions like those.
>Time to head home.
>With a groan you stand up, stretching your arms behind your back. Once that's over, you begin the short trek to your house.
>You give a half-hearted wave to the occasional pony wishing you a good evening. Your mind is still cluttered with pessimism.
>Ah, there's your house.
>You were given a place of residence on the edge of Ponyville, close to Fluttershy's home. A nice balance of inclusion and seclusion.
>Compared to the other homes in this town, your domicile is actually small.
>It's only one story tall although it's slightly taller than most one-story buildings. Thankfully construction was performed with your height in mind.
>Floor space is plentiful but not overkill. You don't walk on four legs, you don't need extra horizontal room.
>A bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, and living room. That's what your home is and you love it.
>Best of all, you don't have to pay a cent- err, a bit.
>In fact, you receive a weekly stipend from the good ol' Princess of Celestia to use as you wish. Nearly all of it goes towards self-upkeep, including but not limited to: cupcakes, cakes, cookies, candy, and smoothies. After all, you are a mostly responsible adult.
>Being a sapient endangered species sure has its perks.
>You reach the front door and fish inside your pockets for your keys. There's not much reason to lock up in such a nice area; you still do so out of force of habit.
>Once inside, you start towards the kitchen before halting. Are you actually hungry or just going through routine?

>>29407335
>You're not hungry, you're sad. Maybe later you'll be hungry and sad. With a bit of luck you'll just be hungry. Right now however, you are sad.
>You change course towards the living room. Once you're there you drop down unceremoniously onto the ivory-colored couch, sinking into the seat.
>No horn.
>Goddammit brain, can't you go one minute without bringing that shit up?
>Well it, or rather you, are right. You don't have a unicorn horn and you no longer have the means to acquire one.
>Your depression is slowly shifting into annoyance and frustration as you think about your current situation.
>Damn unicorns being stubborn about keeping their horns. Can't they just grow them back?
>Wait, do horns even grow back?
>You have no idea. You really need to read more non-fiction works of literature and brush up on Equestrian life.
>Then again, to quote Rainbow Dash: 'Non-fiction is for eggheads.'
>Hold on, isn't the Daring Do series non-fiction? You recall Dash bragging about her adventure with the author.
>You're going off on a tangent again. Back to self pity!
>Even if horns don't grow back, can't magic be used to create another one? Humans create artificial limbs and organs, surely unicorns can one-up that and make a perfectly cloned copy. Just like the real thing.
>Exactly like the real thing.
>...
>Hold. The. Fuck. Up.
>A clone.
>Could you clone one? A unicorn horn? More importantly, how would you go about cloning it?
>You're drawing a blank. Yet another brick wall blocking yo-
>Pinkie.
>Applejack told you of an event that took place long before your abrupt arrival to Equestria.
>You remember it clearly because just the thought of experiencing it firsthand terrifies you.
>The part you focus on involved Pinkie accidentally cloning herself.
>Pinkie Pie is already a souped-up sugar machine with minimal regard for the laws of physics. Dealing with tens of them at once?
>Those poor ponies in Ponyville.

>>29407346
>Stop zoning out Anon. You're trying to make a breakthrough here!
>Right, now what did Pinkie use to clone herself? The Mirror Pool, previously thought to be nothing more than a legend.
>You can use the Mirror Pool to clone a horn!
>No, wait. The Pool only works with living things.
>That means you have to clone a pony... then take their horn.
>Still not a bad idea by any means. You'd be taking a horn from a clone. They're not really real, right? You'll just toss 'em back in the pond afterwards, removing it for good.
>Infallible logic, Anon. You're doing a perfect job of convincing yourself this is a good idea.
>By now you're sitting upright, fingers interweaved with each other as you go over your new plan. You dare risk heartbreak again?
>Third time's the charm, as they say.
>That leaves one final problem.
>Who can you go to with this solution?
>You know no one is allowed to use the Pool anymore. Heck, that's why they blocked...it. Off.
>Son of a /bitch/!
>You completely forgot about that crucial detail. First thing tomorrow morning you are going to check out the entrance and see exactly how they sealed it. Hopefully it's nothing more than a simple 'fuck off' spell. You've learned through extensive testing that certain magics have minimal to no effect on you.
>Back to your previous question.
>Who to talk to?
>It can't be any of Twilight's friends, you've already established that. It also can't be any random pony, they'll probably be reluctant to break the 'law'.
>Really, that only leaves one pony.
>Lyra.
>Uncertainty fills your mind. You don't want to bring this subject back up with her. Not to mention she's already refrained from helping.
>Thing is, she's quite literally your only option.
>You really, really don't want to mention this to Lyra again. But what other choice do you have?
>...
>A new thought has been creeping slowly to the front of your internal debating. One that you've brushed off each time it made itself known.

>>29407352
Anon is going to saw off Lyra clone's horn. That's going to be brutal.
Can't wait to see how he manages to pull that one off.

>>29407352
>As your heart-rate steadily rises, your will weakens.
>Lyra doesn't /have/ to know...
>You let your new idea sink in fully this time. Desperation is a cruel mistress.
>Will you really indulge in this?
>It's a rhetorical question. That should alarm you far more than it does.
>Your moping died down ages ago, hunger also a thing of the past.
>Now you're determined.
>You get up from the couch, speed-walking towards your room in search of paper and a pen.
>Time to scheme.

----------

Pastebin: http://pastebin.com/pwaq7a3L

So that's the second part. Not as light-hearted as the first, but the topic kinda calls for it.
Criticism needed, if not wanted.

File: 1462847454692.png (2MB, 822x1200px)

2MB, 822x1200px

>>29407374
I'm glad that this update was a bit longer than previous one.
Fun green, it was worth the wait/10

>>29407374
Negro check your pastebin, your >green is in private.

>>29407704
Whoops, fixed. I was under the impression that "unlisted" only allowed a paste to be viewed via direct link, not completely deny access. Whatever, public view is fine.

>>29407448
I'm glad it's lengthy too. I'm not purposely stretching out the story either, so these updates will range in character count.

>>29407174
>”Can do, Twilight.”
>Spike holds out the book he is carrying to her.
>She accepts it with her magical aura, moving it to the table in the corner of the room.
>”I’ll send those letters to Celestia. Don’t wait for me, I want to read some comics anyway. C’ya Anon.”
>You nod in his direction.
>”Well, if you’re moving fine let’s waste no time. We’ve a lot to do!”
>You are about as excited as she is. You are soon going to meet the mane six!
>Magic. You forgot all about it.
>You wonder whether or not you could use it. You’d have to ask someone about that.

>Twilight and you are walking through Ponyville. She decided to introduce you to Pinkie first.
>Some ponies stared, surprised. They relaxed though when their stares were greeted with Twilight’s wave and infectious smile.
>You opened up to her about your past life and what humans are like. You explained there is bad and good people in your old world. You talked of government's, corruption, religious wars, and technology.
>Twilight didn’t take all of the bad very well, but the technology sparked her interest. She had seen technology she didn’t understand in EQG, but you spoke grander. Airplanes, Computers, the internet, etc. amazed her.
>You tried to explain how each of them worked the best you could, but you admitted you didn’t understand how most if it worked exactly yourself.
>She didn’t seem bothered by the concept of electricity and accepted the fact your world is magicless.
>Now you are outside of Sugarcube Corner.

>Before you can even knock, Pinkie bursts through the door.
>“Are you excited because I’m nervouscited I've never been so excited, well, except for the time that I saw you two walking through town and,”
>Pinkie gasped.
>”And now you're here! Wait, I saw you two just a few minutes ago.”
>”Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie!” Holding out her hoof, she let out a squee.
>You took it and shook.
>Damn she is hyper. You shouldn’t have expected less of her.

>>29408260
“Hi Pinkie, I’m Anon. I sorta recently just arrived here, and it-”
>”Is a long story - let me guess you’re from an alternate world which you think you died - but then you woke up here in Twilight’s castle?” Pinkie gasped for air again.
>Your jaw drops in awe. There’s no way she could have known all of that, unless Twilight told her; and the look on Twilight’s face said otherwise.
>You knew it is her Pinkie Sense, but you are still awestruck.
“How… Did you know all of that?”
>Inb4 she says just a hunch like in EQG.
>”Oh, just a hunch.”
>You hold back a cringe by smiling.
>She shows you around the bakery, talking about herself. You didn’t admit you already knew most of it.
>She handed both of you a few muffins during that time - which you filled up on. You’d have to eat real food sometime though.
>”Pinkie, I was thinking - You could throw anon a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party, right?
>A party revolving around you sounded nice. You haven’t had one of those in a few years, or many parties at all really.
>“Wow! That sounds like a great idea! I’ll get planning right away- Don’t worry Anon, need not say a word. I’m the best party planner in all of Equestria!”
“Yeah, it does sound great. It would definitely help introduce me to the town.”
>”Right! Well, cya Twilight, I’ve got work to do!”

>You are back in the streets of Ponyville again.
>”I didn’t realise how long that would take.” Twilight yawns.
>”We should probably head back to the castle. I’ll have to introduce you to the rest of my friends tomorrow.”
>You agree with her, and you both head back to the castle.
>She shows you to your new room, which was the guest room before you arrived.
>You sigh. You have a long day ahead of you tomorrow.
>You lay in bed, and shut your eyes.

>>29407983
Wait wait wait, unlisted now blocks access even with direct link? wut?

>Goes to test with one of my greens
Nope, logged out and went on other devices and i could see the unlisted paste with direct link just fine
Be sure to put 'unlisted' instead of 'private' fâm, cause it s working just fine

Here s a working unlisted one-shot example http://pastebin.com/2ZG4sn19

>>29406644
And since i m posting already may as well answer this
I dont write on my language then translate, that d be hell, the real problem are the concordance issues on the phrasing from the different languages, sometimes having to add extra lines to give more depth or removing the somewhat redundant ones, which can affect the next lines and then...well, you got it

By the way, nice double dubs, checked

>>29408272
So I'm just retarded, no surprise there. Thanks for the advice, the paste is set back to unlisted.

>>29408269
>As soon as you are asleep, you are awoken. It sounds like someone lit a firecracker in your room.
>”Heeelllooo Anon! You sir have been making quite the progress.”
“AHHH”
>You shoot up out of your bed falling face-first into the floor.
>”Tsk tsk tsk Anon. You shouldn’t be making a fool of yourself in front of company.”
>That voice…
>Discord.
”Wha- What are you doing here?”
>You stand up, rubbing your face. You’re nose was bleeding.
”Fuck, that hurts. C’mon man, it’s late”
>”Oh don’t get messy on me Anon. Here.”
>Discord snaps his talons. Immediately the pain and bleeding stops.
>You no longer were fatigued either.
“Um, thanks. What do you want Discord?”
>”Oh, nothing in particular. I just want to ask a few questions and maybe help you in return.”
>Oh fuck, you just realised you are actually face-to-face with Discord. He was practically a god.
>He also said he would help you if you answer some questions. Don’t fuck this one up.
“So, what do you want to know then?”
>Discord grins. “Wait, I think we should discuss this in a place more proper.”
>He snaps his talons again. In a flash of light, you are taken someplace else.
>You are sitting in a chair, and Discord is in a couch. The floor is green, with a strange design without a pattern to it.
>The seats we are sitting in are floating as well.
>”Now, that’s considerably better. Welcome to my place of dwelling!”
>You remember seeing his house in the show, and thought the unfortunate mailpony. You look out the window next to the door, seeing nothing but black void as you expected.
>Snapping his talons, he summons a floating teapot and glasses and pours tea into each, floating one over to you.
>”Alright, let us get to business. I’m not going to burden you with you explaining how you got here, I already know. No, I want to know something else.
>He took a sip of his tea, as did you.

>>29408513
>Wait. He said he already knew. Was he spying on you?
>”I know you’re of a world of such great chaos. I’d like to see some of that in you.”
>”But wait, that's not it either. Do you know why you’re here exactly?”
“Well, no. Not really. I believe I died in my old universe, and came here. I don’t understand why, or how, it happened. I’m not even certain of my purpose here.”
>”Well you see, that's the formidable thing about chaos - It has no purpose!” Discord exclaimed with a grin. “And that is exactly your purpose here. Oh, and I suppose you deserve to know part of the truth.”
>What truth? You have no idea what he’s getting at.
“What do you mean? Are you saying I am here just because of no reason?”
>”Well I suppose that’s not entirely true. You see, being the being of chaos that I am, I decided to have a little fun.” He snaps his talons.
>A large projection appeared in front of you. It showed what once was your apartment. You gasp.
“You taken me here, didn’t you? Are you insane?”
>”Well to answer the latter, yes. Oh. The first question, yes, too. But come now. Please don’t tell me you enjoyed your life before.”
>The projection zooms in on you, showing you sitting in a chair at your computer. Past you then had a heart attack. Then you died. Your body disappeared.
“Wait. Why did I disappear after I die?”
>”Well, when I plucked you out of your world, the magic of mine affected reality in a strange way in that dimension. A dimension where magic couldn’t exist. So, it affected time. In that timeline, you were never born, and I never plucked you from that universe. So don’t worry, your family won’t miss you.”
>Your family actually didn’t really care about you, and you don’t really care much about them. You honestly didn’t think much about them since you arrived.
"I'm not even mad... Actually, thank you, Discord. I don't think I could ever repay you for the favor you have done me."
>"Well, actually you see, you can. I want to ask one more thing of you,"

>>29408482
I have a question though, why keep all your greens unlisted?
I often look thru an writer paste to see what older greens can interest me but since its all unlisted...

>>29408762
Sometimes writers aren't proud of what they write

>>29408869
Which shouldn't be a problem because it is all anonymous right?

>>29408912
Well when its on a paste it s linked to you one way or the other, but >>29408869 did raise a good point, as weird as it may seem, still if ya dont like it just change some of it later

>Writefags
>Editing old greens
>Ever

>>29409012
So maybe the point of keeping the paste unlisted is as Rite said
Unlisting could be the way of keeping each green unique for each thread as Anon, and linked to that story only

>>29408762
Well this is currently my only story, so there's nothing else to sift through. You're right though, I love seeing what else a person has written. Public: On and staying on.

>>29408757
“Wait Discord… Before you ask. I’d like to ask something. Why me?”
>”Hmm. Lets just say you were the most desirable candidate. Your knowledge of a particular show also is a bonus.”
>Oh wow, he knows about the cartoon. You wonder what else he knew about…
>”Don’t worry, I won’t tell somepony about any of these ‘fetishes’ of yours.” He pulls out of his pocket an expanding array of photos, which continues to fall until it hits the floor.
>You embarrassingly blush. Holy fuck that’s awkward.

>He snaps his paw-fingers-thing of his other hand, and the photos disappear.
>”I don’t even care, I actually find it quite amusing! Such strange taste.”
>”Alright now, down to business.”
>A golden amulet, with a stylish ‘D’ hanging from it, appears around your neck.
>“This amulet will allow you to summon me any time when worn, just say my name.”
>”Don’t abuse it though. I’ll only use it when you need help. I do understand your predicament with the lack any sort of magic. And I cannot just simply give magic to you.”
“Aren’t you basically a god though?”
>”Oh believe me, I tried. You’d cause far more chaos with it. I believe it is tied to your origin. But for now, I expect you to do that on your own. Do not let me down.”
>”Be seeing you, Anon. Ta ta!”
>Another flash of light brought you back to your bedroom.

>You fall into your bed. Sunlight just began to creep through the windows.
>You take off the amulet, and put it into the pocket of your jeans.
>You realised you haven’t showered in awhile, you probably didn’t smell the grandest.
>Heading out of your room, you smell food. Your stomach growls.
>You found your way to the kitchen, which you found spike standing up on a stool cooking breakfast.
>”Mornin’, Anon. Just cooking breakfast. Made you some pancakes.”
>That’s pretty nice of him.
“Thanks Spike. Say, does this castle have a shower?”
>”Um well duh. You think we just roll around in our filth? C’mon, I’ll show ya!”
>Spike flips the last pancake and moves it to the

>>29409125
Oh fuck. Might as well do another update.

...rest of the bunch. He hops off the stool.
>”Oh, good morning Anon. Hope you rested well, because we have a big day ahead of us.”
>Twilight yawns, and walks into the middle of the kitchen.
>”Just about to show Anon to the bathroom.”
>”Wait, hold on. I’ve got some clothes for you, Anon.”
>She leaves for a moment to just come back with some clothes, levitating it with a magical magenta aurora matching her horn.
>”Rarity, a friend of mine, made these for you. I sorta took some measurements when you were knocked out.”
>She levitates them over to you, so you grab and examine them.
>Wow, these look expensive. And nice. A black suit and pants which matches your shoes.
“These are amazing, Twilight. Tell Rarity she has my thanks, and that I’d like to meet her sometime.”
>”Oh, you’ll actually be meeting all my friends at once, when Celestia arrives. They’d love to meet you”
>”Alright Anon. Follow me.”
>You follow Spike through a few crystal hallways which held entrance to a dozen different rooms. You wonder why this Castle had so much space, when they barely use a quarter of it.
>”Here we are! You know how to work a shower, right?”
“Yeah, that’s no problem. Thanks Spike.”
>”No problemo, just what friends do”
>Just a day and Spike already considers you a friend. It’s not like you talked to him much at all during that time.

>>29409154
>Spike nods, then heads off.
>The bathroom looks just what you would expect in a normal bathroom, just everything's shorter to compensate for the size of the ponies. The ceiling was insanely high though, like in the rest of the castle.
>You close the door behind you.
>You sit the clothes on the counter, strip, and step in the shower.
“Okay Anon. Let’s see which knob is which.”
>You wonder how ponies turn these things.
>You start out slow on twisting knob, which in return sends water raining down upon you.
“OH FUCK THAT BURNS!”
>You jump out of the shower, and carefully reach over to twist the other knob. You think a colder shower was in order after that.
>You feel the water this time.
>Good enough.
>You step into the shower, the cool water counteracting the burn.
>Turns out the only soap they have smells like lavender, which bothers you. Just shampoo too, likely because ponies are completely covered in hair. Or fur. Same difference.
>After you are done showering, you dry yourself off with a towel. To your luck there are a few folded ones in the cabinets.
>You look yourself over in the mirror. Yeah, sexy as usual. At least you thought so. You will be soon getting all the mares. You’d do your dead daddy proud.
>You slip on the suit, and adjust the red clip-on tie. You found some scissors, and trimmed up your hair and beard a bit. Not too shabby.
>You decided to just leave the hair all over the sink, she shouldn’t be too mad.
>Okay, nevermind. You’d better clean it up.
>After doing that you found yourself back in the kitchen. Twilight and Spike sat, finishing up their pancakes.
>You join them at the table.
>”Here, I’ve been keeping them warm for ya.” Spike pushes the plate over to you.
>“Just used a little bit of fire.”
>He turns his head, demonstrating by blowing out a wave of fire.
>“Pretty cool, huh?”

>>29409403
>You nod. You grab your fork. You guess ponies can just touch stuff and somehow with their willpower pick things up. Nothing unheard of in magical candy-ass pony land.
>Oh man, these pancakes are good. Like, really good.
“Damn Spike, these are excellent. Good job bro.”
>”Thanks… Not sure what you mean by ‘damn’ though.”
“Oh, it just means they’re excellent in my world”
>”Cool! I think I might start saying that.”
>You look over at Twilight, who doesn’t seem to care. Huh, damn must not be a word here or something.
>She finishes eating, levitating off her plate.
>Spike’s plate is stacked tall with Pancakes. That kid has quite the appetite.
>You finish your pancakes, and lean back in your chair.
“That was bitchin’, Spike! Thanks again.”
>He looks at you funny.
“Oh, it means excellent too.”
>Actually true this time. You should be careful, you don’t know which words are in this world. >Wouldn’t want to leave a bad impression on others and you should set a good example for Spike. Twilight wouldn’t be happy finding him swearing.
>“Hey Anon, there’s somepony here to see you!” Twilight calls.
>You stand up.
“Do me a solid and get this for me?”
>”Oh, yeah. Sure.”
>You thank him and leave.

http://pastebin.com/Fsm9pvU2 Fully updated, with most mistakes corrected. Highly suggest starting here if you're new. That's all for the night, will make updates tomorrow.

File: image.jpg (101KB, 1110x619px)

101KB, 1110x619px

anon as kamen rider wizard when

>>29409012
Urchin changed the whole climax and ending of Games Lords Play. The original had Anon beating the shit out of Celestia after she turned him down. His ring broke and he changelings took him back to their hive to execute him after killing Chryssi. He convinced them to make him their leader so that they could survive just how she wanted then he returned to Equestria as a wrinkled old man in control of an empire.

>>29409446
Can't wait, sleep well friend

>>29409465
>kamen rider wizard
literally who?

>>29410728
Jap power ranger except he's a bug

>>29406263
http://pastebin.com/dbJ3Mnny

Intro sounds a lot like the one from
Tonic the dragon

>>29411296
I was waiting for someone to catch that.
Thought the banana thing was mine tho

>>29409446
>Wow. She is beautiful.
>Being about six feet tall, you stand nearly as tall as Celestia, excluding her horn. Her mane waves and sparkles mystically just like it did in the show.
>You sorta stare at her a little more than what’s socially acceptable. She didn't really seem to mind though.
>Twilight offers both of you a seat. As you sit down you notice more eyes are on you rather than Celestia. That sorta makes you nervous.
>You take one right next to Celestia, you two sitting adjacent from each other in the map room. The all of the mane six sit in their own chair, smiling at you.
>Soon your gaze was met with another pony, who you recognized as Starlight Glimmer.
>Too bad Godbro was going to ascend her to an alicorn in season seven.

>You wanted to ask each of them many questions, but it seems they were going to let Sunbutt speak first.
>"Good morning, Anon. And hello to all of you. If you didn’t already know, I'm Princess Celestia. Twilight has told me much about you and your past, but I’d like to hear more about it from you. So tell me, how do you think you arrived here?”
>You admit, those eyes intimidated you. So large and beautiful. You could stare into those for days.
>”Well… I believe I had a heart attack. I was soon after taken to this world. Not much I can add to that.”
>You think about how Discord admitted to pulling you here. You weren’t going to bust him for that, you didn’t know what they would do.
>”Well, that’s a shame. Do you like it in this world, because I believe I could get you back to yours if you wanted?“
>Fuck that, your world sucked. No way in hell you were going back.
“No, I like it here. I didn’t amount to much back in my old world, and I’d like to try to start over here. Everyo-pony is happy, plus my race isn’t trying to kill each other over over opinions.”
>Celestia’s expression didn’t change, but some of the others did.

>>29411523
>”Why, that’s just simply TERRIBLE! Are you saying your own kind would do so much as kill each other over a few disagreements?” spoke a flabbergasted Rarity.
>Now you were making your race look murderous and bad. Good job, Anon on giving a good impression.

“No no no, just the evil brown ones… Mankind otherwise is a mostly happy and stable place, in fact it functions mostly like this world. Well, except for magic.”
>You humans didn’t need magic when you had WMDs and guns. A few nukes and those Japs chilled the fuck out.
>Celestia spoke again. “Well I hope you’re able to find your place in this world, Anon. You’re the only human this world has, and I hope you’re comfortable living with that fact. I know humans are talented, in fact, they can excel in anything they put their mind to, so I have no doubts you will find your place in this world.”
>That brought up some thoughts in your head again. What would your purpose be? Discord said your purpose was basically for his amusement and chaos. You didn’t exactly want to cause any more trouble than you had to.
>”I think somepony had a little hand in all of this though… I’ll have to look into that some other time. I’m terribly sorry for the short visit, but I’ve matters to attend to. Good luck Anon, and fare thee well, my little ponies. I’ll be sure to visit again soon.”
>With that, she teleported off. You knew she was talking about Discord. You wonder if that’s where she went.

>”That was shorter than expected. That’s fine though, Celestia is a busy mare. So Anon, I’d like to introduce you to my friends.”
>Pinkie Pie started to bounce in her seat. “To my left is Rarity, to my right is Fluttershy, to the left of Fluttershy is Rainbow Dash, and to the left of Rarity is Applejack, and of course I’m Pinkie! But you already know that.”
>”Wow, um, thanks, Pinkie. I’m sure they might want to introduce themselves, though.”
>”Oh, yeah… My bad.” She stops bouncing.

>>29411832

>”I’m Rainbow Dash, the fastest flier in all of Equestria!” She smirks and kicks out her wings.
>Wow, top cunt in all of her glory. You need to knock her down a few pegs some day.
>”I’m Fluttershy. Twilight told me you were nice, and so I wouldn’t mind to be your friend.”
>She smiled weakly. You return that smile and reassure her.
“I’d love to be your friend, Fluttershy. I’ll need all I can get in this new life.”
>”That would be nice… Anon. Maybe we all could get together and do something sometime.”

>Then the background pony introduced herself, nothing real interesting.
>Now Rarity introduced herself. You didn’t forget to thank Rarity for the clothes she made you.
>”Actually Anon, I’ve prepared some more for you. I figure there isn’t going to be much of anything you can wear here in Equestria, so I knew you would need a few different outfits.”
>She used her magic to levitate over to you three suitcases, sitting them down right in front of you.
>That’s actually really cool of her, right in her element.
“That’s really nice of you Rarity, and thanks for taking your time to introduce yourselves, all of you.”
>”Oh it’s nothing darling, just happy to help a friend in need.”

>”I’m Starlight Glimmer, Princess Twilight’s student.” She smiled at you.
>You realised Twilight didn’t exactly tell you very much about herself. You shouldn’t know she’s the Princess of Friendship yet.
“Oh Twilight… I didn’t know you were a princess.” You lied.
>”Well, yes, the Princess of Friendship. But please, just call me Twilight.”
“That’s pretty cool, Twi… So, how did you all come to be friends, and what’s the story behind all of you becoming friends?”
>You were going to have to listen to the mane six and the other ponies tell their tale.
>You didn’t mind, though. It was pretty exciting to hear it from them instead of the show.
>They go through the Sonic Rainboom that brought them all together, being Elements of Harmony, villains, reformations. etc.

>>29411859
>They each add their own pieces together to make up the grand tale.
>You sit intently listening to all they had to say. Seems that Glim Glam was doing just the same, until the story caught up to her part.
>She sits with an awkward smile, embarrassed.
>”But she’s a good pony now, and learned from her mistakes, like we all have.” Twilight was reassuring her more than you.
>”Yes, and Twilight’s teaching me the value of friendship. I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for her.”

>The ponies say their farewells and leave the castle, except for Applejack.
>”You’re welcome anytime at Sweet Apple Acres Anon, remember that. Ah’ve got to get back to the farm, I don’t need Granny Smith worryin’ bout me.”
>With that, just you and Twilight are left in the room.

back at it again with the past tenses
Not that anyone's watching, but that's all for now.

>>29411832
>just the evil brown ones
Last time I checked Jews weren't brown.

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>>29411898
That would have made for a better response. I should have thought of that.

>>29411896
>Not that anyone's watching
excuse you nigga I'll have you know I'm enjoying this, keep it up
apart from the incorrect tenses here and there it's good green

>>29412433
I've been fixing it all in the Pastebin mostly. From here on out I'll proofread twice before posting.

>>29411898
Ethnic Jews are. Jews come from Israel, which lies in the middle East

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>>29381165
>>"It's ok if you can't do magic, Anon."
>>"You are just a human after all."
>>"Nobody expects anything out of you."
>>"Just leave the hero work to us. We'll bring you back a souvenir."

If that happened to me I wouldn't get depressed. I would get angry. And I would try to make source of my anger - magic - disappear.

Like paying changlings to put their anti-magical-thrones in every big city, or letting Tirek out of Tartarus and cloning him in mirror pool. Or putting bombs in places where unicorns can learn magic (like universities, libraries). Or poisoning their wells with horn flu bacteria.

>>29413356
>I would get angry.
Anon gets a red lantern ring green when?

>>29411896
>She rises from her seat, and walks up to you.
>”Anon, if you’d like I could show you around town some more.”
>You want to meet some background ponies, particularly Lyra and Bonbon. It’s not like you would know much about their lives anyway, so that would be pretty fun.
>You wonder if ponies could ever be attracted to humans, otherwise you would be one lonely fuck for the rest of your life.
>Nothing changes if the answer is no. Well, at least you would have friends.
>Her cutie mark begins to flash.
>Fuck. You know what that means. You look over at the map, and two cutie marks had just appeared levitating over a part of the map, the other belonging to Ponk.
>She explained the map to you earlier.

>”I’m sorry, Anon. I’ll try to be back as soon as possible.”
>Awesome, now you are just going to sit on your ass.
>Well, this would be a good time to read up on Equestrian History or something.
>Books. The first day you arrived.
“Hold on Twilight, didn’t Spike say he found a book about my kind? Human’s were in Equestria?”
>She didn’t expect a question like that.
>”Yes, actually. Not much is known about humans in this universe. but your kind died long before Luna’s banishment, believed to be right before Discord was overthrown. Not many humans seemed to exist in Equestria to begin with. We assume they came through a portal sometime ago."
“Mind if I take a look at that book?”
>”Of course not. It should be in the Library on the table in the center of the room.”
“Thanks Twilight.”

>You make your way to the Library, until you realize you have no idea where it is.
>You turn around and navigate to Spike’s room. He sits in his bed with an open comic book.
“Yo Spike, could you take me to the library? I’d like to do some reading up on Equestrian History.”
>He looks up from his comic.
>“Sure thing Anon. Right this way!”
>Tossing the comic to the side, he shoots up out of his bed, leading you to the library.

>>29413574

>The library is impressive.
>There is an infinite pool of knowledge in front of you, all at your disposal.
>You thank Spike and he nods, heading off.
>You quickly find the table she was talking about. On top of it sits an open book.
>You turn it over. The front reads ‘Brief History of Equestria’. You return to the page in the book that was open. The chapter is labeled ‘Creatures of 100 BC’.
>As far as you know there is no Jesus in this world. You bet BC meant Before Celestia.
>From here you flip through a few pages. To your luck everything seems to be no different from your written English.

>There you are. Humans.
>’Humans are thought to be descendants from the great apes, thought to be possibly thousands of years evolved down the line… Not much was ever recorded about their existence. Not many humans are known to have existed.'
>You turn to the next page.
>'The few humans that did appeared near the end of the reign of chaos. They were driven mad soon after they were discovered.'
>That is strange. You scan the entire page. Nothing more about humans.
>Humans disappeared sometime before then and the end of Discord’s rule.
>He must have played a role somehow.
>What would cause an entire race to disappear?

>”Reading about humans, I presume?”
>You jump out of your seat at the sound of Discord’s voice.
>Holy fuck. Your heart is racing.
“Damn Discord, you need to quit your shit.”
>”Don’t be such a sourpuss, Anon. I’m actually here to help you. Wouldn’t you think the oldest being in all of Equestria should know a thing or two?”
>He appears in a chair sitting across from you, wearing reading glasses.

>”Ooh, almost forgot,” Discord snaps his talons.
>The necklace he gave you before appears on the table.
>”You shouldn’t be leaving this just anywhere, silly.”
>Oh, you did leave it in your clothes, didn’t you?
>Wait.
>Eww, the sick fuck was watching you.
“Don’t you find it a little intrusive to watch someone shower?”

>>29413750
>”No, come now. I would never do such a thing. But I did notice you didn’t have it on you.”
>He leans towards you.
>”Alright, back to business.”
>Discord snaps his talons. In a flash a book, black and worn with age, appears in his hands, about an inch thick.
>He opens it up and flicks through a few pages.
>“Yes… yes. I want you to read this. Don’t worry, not all of it. I've bookmarked a few of the more interesting pages. To you at least.”
>He flips to the first bookmarked section, and teleports the book in front of you.
“Um, thanks, Discord.”
>You knew he’d ask something of you sooner or later.
>You put the amulet into your pocket.

>”Well I’ll be off then. Good reading, Anon!”
>In a bright flash of light, Discord vanishes.
>Asshole. That hurts your damn eyes.
>You sigh as your vision recovers.
>You look at the page and begin to read.
>’This book contains a /very/ brief history me, during my rule of Equestria. It should provide you some insight on humans from my perspective, Anon.’
>You flip to the next page he has bookmarked.
>’ ...This other dimension. Oh, quite the chaos. Very destructive and odd creatures too. They seem to be mostly intelligent, but just not enough to not kill each other over this thing they call ‘God’... Yes they are quite peculiar. I think I might grab a few hundred thousand of them and give them their own continent.’
>You turn the page.
>’ ...They didn’t react well to being ripped from their dimension. I decided to recreate what they had known from their world. About medieval times I believe.’
>’I shown myself to them, causing a bit of chaos here and there. To my surprise they began to worship me like a deity.’
>’Oh, and how annoying it was! Every day they would pray, asking for rain for their crops, yada yada…’
>’I left them for a few hundred years. Just to watch them. Many began to worship the sun and the moon…’

>>29413827
>’Long story short, more people decided to find this ‘new world' '
>’One day, a fleet of a few hundred ships arrived with one intention: to conquer the land.’
>’ ...They were going to slaughter the natives with their fancy weapons.’
>’I’m not completely heartless, you know. Once I realized what they were doing I put a stop to it.’

>You turn to the last bookmarked section of the book.
>’My magic sustained them, but it also destroyed them. Upon my imprisonment in stone, my magic no longer could keep their lands risen. The entire continent sank, and it’s sad to say, killing all of them.’
>’All that was left of the humans were the few hundred from that incident before. I made them docile enough to not go about slaughtering the ponies, but the chaos my reign brought to the land driven them mad.’
>’Celestia and Luna felt remorse for the broken creatures, and polymorphed them all into ponies, or at least they tried.’
>’They became centaurs, the magic corrupting them even further. Unable to fix the bunch, Celestia and Luna were left no choice but to seal all of them up in Tartarus.’
>You turn the page. The rest of the book is full of blank pages.
>You flip through the book. Wait, in fact, all of the pages are now blank.
>You heard a voice in your ear. “Don’t tell anyone, Anon. Wouldn’t want somepony to get the idea I brought you here, due to my history with your kind.”
>You flinch hella hard, your knees hitting under the table.
“Ouch… Fuck. Goddamnit Discord. Get out of my ear.”
>”One more thing Anon,”
>A scroll appears in front of you, replacing the book.
>”Use this information wisely. Goodbye!”
>You rub your knees. Why did Discord have to pull that shit?
>You stand up, and grab the scroll.
>You unroll it.
>It's a map of Everfree.

>>29413883
I'm done for the day. http://pastebin.com/Fsm9pvU2

>>29413919
nice, I am intrigued

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Bump with OC.

>>29413883
>Why would Discord give you this? You look over the map.
“Ah.”
>An area on the map is circled in red ink.
>The map gave no clue to what you would find there. The forest is dangerous, and it would be very unwise of you to try to go there on your own. Why would Discord want you to go there?
>You’d have to convince someone to come with you.
>You realize how defenseless you are.
>No magic. No weapons. Nothing.
>You couldn’t even begin to create any useful weapons from your world. You could probably make simple shit like bows and crossbows but nothing else.
>Reality hit you.
>You could be the strongest human to ever exist, and still not beat Earth pony magic.
>You can’t fly. You are even more useless than an Earth pony.
>How are you going to make a living? What purpose do you have in this world?
>Maybe you could find a cute mare who accepts you’re of another species.
>You two could have your own store, and sell various trinkets.
>No. You didn’t want that. No mare is ever going to find you attractive either. A horsefucker, in the land of horses, but not one you will be able to fuck.
>You will have no legacy, or children to carry that legacy on if you did.
>You need a purpose. You would do anything to find it.
>You sit back down, and lean back in the chair, still grasping the map.
>You thought of all those greens you read.
>Do you even realize where you’ve made it? Why did your story have to be the one where you’re completely useless.
>Why couldn’t you be transformed into a unicorn?
>Discord had to have been bullshitting you on that.
>You thought back to EQG, and how Twilight became human.
>Yeah, she became human! Then back to being a pony.
>You going through the portal should make you a pony. But wait, what if you became a pony there, and when you traveled back, you’re just human again?
>Fucking hell. There is no hope.

Couldn't resist myself. Last page bump.

>>29414096
Larger neck, longer lower muzzle(with same or almost the same lenght as nose) and eyes with black outlines are better than coloured usually for some reason try that next time, other outlines are up to ya
Still das nice, danke

>>29414096
kek

>>29414864
>You need to suck it up. You aren’t going to get anywhere with this attitude.
>You’re going to ask Twilight if she could make you a unicorn. Wait.
>No. You're Not forsaking this human body yet. You would be losing what made you, well you.
>You will find a way to fit in.
>You look back down at the map, and ponder it’s purpose.
>Nah. No fucking idea. Dammit Discord, be straight for once.
>Might as well make something of this day. You couldn’t show up at any ponies house, that would be fucking weird.
>It wasn't just because you're a creature nopony's seen before.
>You need that party to happen.
>Oh yeah, you shouldn’t forget about those clothes Rarity made you too.
>You roll up the map, and stand up. You need to grab those suitcases and put these things up in your room.
>After that it looks like you’re hanging out with Spike.

>”Hey, the Power Ponies are pretty cool. Twilight, her friends, and I were sucked into the comic once, and actually became them!”
“Yeah, that’s interesting and all, but I don’t really like comic books.”
>”Come on, you’re not even going to ask what happened?”
>Think of a save Anon. You don't want to hear that episode with Spike’s glorification hammered in.
“Um, I’m pretty sure Twilight told me about that. Didn’t all seven of you get sucked into that comic book at Celestia and Luna’s old castle?”
>”Oh… I guess she did.” Spike shrugs.
>“There’s still a lot of cool stuff we could do!”
“Like?”
>”We can go hang out with Rarity!” Spike grins enthusiastically.
>Eww, fuck that. You didn't want to be her bitch with Spike all day.
>Oh, you just remembered.
“That sounds like a great idea, but I’m pretty sure the map table thing called for Twilight and Rarity to leave.”
>Didn’t she say anything to Spike before she left?
>”Really? That stinks.” Spike frowns.
>“That's it! I planned on picking up a few comic books from the Ponyville Marketplace. I could probably get you something too.”

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>>29415880
“That would be pretty cool of you Spike, but don’t you think ponies might freak out because of me?”
>His grin turns back to a frown.
”Whatever, they needed to see me sooner or later. What’ya say, Spike?”
>”Let’s do it.”
>Damn it Spike no homo.

>Spike is leading you through the marketplace. Nopony seems to run away at the sight of you. It is actually very surreal.
>Ponyville Marketplace is bustling with activity. You’re surprised you don’t stick out like a sore thumb, standing two feet taller than most ponies.
>You and Spike approach the comic book stand. Well, there’s one almost nervous looking face.
>An orange unicorn stallion in his twenties greets you.
>”Oh, hello sir. How can I help ya?” His eyes meet yours, giving you an uncertain smile.
>You give him the most reassuring one you can.
“Oh, I’m just here with my pal, Spike.”
>”How ya doing, Almond? Just here for the latest issue of the Power Ponies.”
>Almond visually relaxes some at the sight of Spike.
>”Oh, hello Spike! Nothing grand, just business as usual.”
>He reaches under his desk stand and grabs a comic book wrapped in plastic.
>Ponies must have petroleum or something.
>”You’re in luck, the shipment just arrived today! It’s yours for five bits.”
>”I’ll take it!” Spike begins to fish out the dough from his pockets.
>How the does that even work? It's not like he is wearing any clothes.
>Whatever, cartoon logic.
>Almond smiles at you.
>“Don’t think I’ve ever seen you or your kind around here. Or ever, really. What’s your name? I’m Almond, if you haven’t already gathered.”

>This is going pretty well. Too well, people should be fleeing in terror.
>Try not to fuck this one up too much.
“Name’s Anon, I’m from someplace pretty far from here. It’s a long story, but I found myself in Equestria and made my way to Ponyville.”

>>29416456
>That seems to have done something for him.
>”Ah yes, quite the name. Nothing I’ve really heard of before.”
>Spike sits the bits up on the counter and Almond slides the comic book over to him.
>”Thanks for doing business with you. Well Anon, I hope you find Ponyville to be most hospitable.”
>You two give him your farewells and head to the center of the marketplace.
>”That wasn’t so bad, huh Anon. I think you’ll do just fine here.”

Okay, I'm actually done for the night this time.
My tense fuck ups for the most part should be a thing of the past now after a bit of advice and help.
http://pastebin.com/Fsm9pvU2

>>29414096
I chuckled.

The correct course of action is, obviously, to build a gun.

>>29403224

>”So tell me,” he chirps while setting the stove on. “How fast did it work? Was it instant or was there a delay? Was it flashy or did you just suddenly become sober? How sober, even? Like sober enough you think you’re ok to drive but not really sober, or like haven’t had a drink all day sober?”
“Instant, sort of flashy, and no alcohol all day.”
>”Do you still have the spell?”
“Yes. I have it locked in a chest back at my castle where nobody can find it.”
>His beard shifts as a grin stretches underneath it.
>The man hops over the piles of books and fetches two crude mugs from the countertop beside his stove.
>Quickly, he reenters the room and takes point next to a small coffee table beside the large red chair.
>”Shit, you need a seat too. Um, hold on. Turn around.”
“Why?”
>”Because I said so. It’s my house.”
>That makes sense.
>You should go watch the tea anyway.
>This human stove of his works fast. You’ve always wanted to deconstruct it, but he’s made a point of never letting you near his stuff with a wrench.
>Something about destroying the remnants of his civilization.
>You’d put it back together for sure, so there’s nothing to worry about.
>As you near it, you can see that the water has already begun to boil.
>”Alright, turn around now.”
“Should I get the tea?”
>”It’s not ready yet.”
“It’s boiling.”
>”The kettle will let us know when it’s ready.”

>>29416579

>Wait wait wait. It’s always wait.
>You can take your time as much as the next mare, but you want to get to the friendship.
>Turning around, you spot Anon in the living room flanked by two identical comfy red chairs.
“Wait, how did that get there?”
>”Advanced human cloning technology.”
“Your people never cease to amaze me. Even without magic, you can accomplish so much.”
>”Funny you should mention that,” he says and begins making odd movements with his hands.
>Oh, is this more of his “sign language”?
>Let’s see if you can decipher it.
>So the pouring gesture likely translates to the amount of happiness that pours from him when you’re around.
>This up and down motion also indicates that clear turmoil your relationship has seen recently.
>If you’re right, he’s trying to tell you that despite all his shortcomings, he’s glad to have you as a friend.
“Me too, Anon.”
>”What?”
“I’m glad you’re my friend.”
>”Whatever. Get the tea.”
>The tea? But it’s not ready.
>Has the kettle given the signal already? You don’t remember hearing any whistling.
>Well, he wants tea. Best not to be a difficult guest, you suppose.
>You turn around, registering just how much of that you’ve been doing today, and wrap the kettle in your magical grip.
>Wait, what happened?
>Your eyes widen.
>The tea has already been poured.
>Two cups full of steaming, steeped tea cups sit on the cluttered counter beside an empty kettle.
>First the door opens when he’s across the room, then a chair appears out of nowhere, and now the tea is poured.
>You knew it!
“Alright, where are they?”
>”Excuse me?”
“The other pony. I know I’m being punked.”
>”What the hell are you talking about?”
“All of this stuff happening mysteriously. It has to be another pony, right? Unless it’s--Discord, show yourself.”

>>29416586

>”There’s nobody here, Twilight.”
“Well I don’t sense any enchantments or charms on these items, so what other explanation is there, Anon?”
>”One I can’t give you for another few days.”
>You raise an eyebrow, setting the kettle down and replacing it with the tea cups.
>”I have to be sure of something before I let anyone know about this, but it’s big, Twilight.”
“Do you want to elaborate on that?”
>”More than you could imagine, but I can’t just yet.”
>Trotting over to him, you set the teacups down on the coffee table and sit in unison with him.
“So what do you want to talk about?”
>”The spell. It worked.”
“The sobering spell?”
>”Yes. I need you to describe to me exactly what you felt.”
“Well, sure, no problem. How about you tell me where you found it first though?”
>”Found it?”
“Yes. What temple did you rob?”
>”It wasn’t The House of the Five, I’ll tell you that much.”
“That’s one out of thousands of possibilities.”
>”I’ll tell you in a few days, alright? Now back to my spell. How did it work?”
>This is getting tedious, even by your standards.
>Oh, goodness, you still have to meet up with Applejack too.
>You don’t want to leave Anon though. He’s just started to open up to you.
>”Now, bitch.”
>Well, maybe leaving wouldn’t be so bad.
>At least finish the tea first.
>And hey, this will be a nice challenge.
>Can you get him to spill the beans in the time it takes you to finish this cup?
>Time to see what all your psychology lessons have led to.

This felt like a lot more than 3 posts while I was writing it. Fug. Anyway, I guess I'll have more by Tuesday. On second thought, since I always seem to be a day late, let's say I'll have more on Monday. Then things should even out. Yeah, this will work. I'll see you guys on "Monday".

Also kudos to the new writefag keeping the thread alive.

Also here's a pastebin http://pastebin.com/5ECNnjxF

>>29416602
Thanks fag. I really really like this story.

>>29416694
Check out the paste bin, it's all yours.

Page 9 bump

Page 7 bump before I sleep at 7:07 in the goddamn morning.

>>29418134
>not waiting until 7:77
You've failed bateman

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>>29418505
>waiting until 7:77

>>29416602
>"(...) Now back to my spell (...)"
Really hope that didnt went past Twiggles head, along with Anon's curiosity with this one spell, which was more generalized for the rest previously

>>29419400
"My spell" could mean "spell that I gave you" in this context; Twilight have no reason to look for a deeper meaning.

>>29419625
He could just have used 'the' instead of 'my' there and the phrase would still be exactly the same
Still calling it on that one

>>29420099
I think that you're biased to think that Twilight will get what Anon meant by saying "my spell", because you already know what he meant.
Check this out: http://lesswrong.com/lw/ke/illusion_of_transparency_why_no_one_understands/

>>29420397
Maybe, but also because she s a smart mare
Either way its up to the writefag on what s gonna happen, mind games are always fun if done right

>>29416492
Going to repost part of this edited a tad.

>This is going pretty well. Too well, actually. People should be fleeing in terror.
>Try not to fuck this one up too much.
“Name’s Anon, I’m from someplace pretty far from here. It’s a long story, but I found myself in Equestria and made my way to Ponyville.”
>He thinks for a moment then smiles.
>”Ah yes, quite the name. Nothing I’ve really heard of before.”
>Spike sits the bits up on the counter and Almond slides the comic book over to him.
>”Thanks for doing business with you. Well Anon, I hope you find Ponyville to be most hospitable.”
>You two give him your farewells and head to the center of the marketplace.
>”That wasn’t so bad, huh Anon? I think you’ll do just fine here.”
“Yeah, it’s actually pretty weird.”

>”How’s that? I think that went pretty well.”
“No, not that. Just yesterday everypony was freaking out, and now they are all chill about it.”
>”Ponyville’s seen some pretty crazy creatures. You don’t look very crazy. It’s not like you seem very strong or dangerous either.”
>Coming from the purple midget dragon.
“Wow, thanks Spike.”

>”No problem! Hey look, jewelry half off. I could probably pick up something for Rarity!”
>Spike rushes over to where he seen the sign, leaving you where you stand.
>Poor Spike. Kid at least tries.
>You decide to walk to avoid looking retarded.
>The sign leads to a small purple tent, sort of like something you’d see at a carnival.
>Inside you find Spike browsing.
>Several tables and a variety of different types of jewelry are about the room.
>A wrinkly old mare stands behind her display.
>”You will find my jewelry to be of the finest quality I assure you, and remember, it is half off!”
>You walk up to Spike, the mare noticing you enter.
>”Oh. Hello… You’re the new human in town aren’t you? I’m Ellipse. Can’t say I’ve seen your kind before.”
>She knows you’re human?
“Wait, how’d you know that?”

>>29420836
>”Well, I was pulling my cart through Ponyville and some pink mare looked to be setting up a party in town square. I asked what for and she said something along the lines of ‘to introduce some ape looking human from far away’ then she gave a flier to me and about every other pony in town. And you look like a monkey.”
>That actually explains everything, apart from being called a monkey. Wait, apes aren’t monkeys. You don’t ever remember seeing either in the show.
>Not like you ever seen yourself in the show either, for all you know you’re now apart of it.
“You have that flier still?”
>She pulls a pink flier from under the display. “Just keep it, I won’t be in Ponyville for it anyhow. If there’s anything I can help you with let me know.”
“Thanks.”
>You examine the flier.
>’Super Dooper Mega Awesome Ponyville Get-Together! Located in the town square tomorrow night… Plenty of food, all is welcome!’
>Damn, she was fast. You’re kinda glad it looks like you will just be introduced during the event, not the CENTER of it.
>”Hey Anon, check out this necklace. Isn’t it pretty?”
>Spike holds out a silver necklace with an opal gem and gold encrusted around it.
“Yeah… Looks pretty expensive.”
>”It is, but it's half off. Only fifty bits! Rarity will love it.”
>Whew he was in deep. You feel pretty bad for him.
“I’m sure she will.”
>Spike painstakingly pulls out and counts exactly fifty bits. Goddammit Spike.
>”Fourty-Nine… and Fifty! Here you go, ma’am!”

Story is going too slow. Going to kick into maximum overdrive

>>29407374
I'm sorry, but I'm gonna come out and say it: this story's anon is an absent-minded psychopathic turbo-autist with no redeeming qualities.

> Constantly zones out during conversations
> Literally stumbles into things
> Single-minded focus on acquiring a sweet katana literally mutilating other characters
> Says the exact same retarded things in the exact same order to two different characters

I can't enjoy this. It was passable for anon to go off the wall with Twilight but then the same-as-the-original sequel says this isn't going anywhere.

>>29421279
That's fine, the story can't be enjoyable for everyone. Anon is whoever/whatever you make him, and in this scenario I've decided to write him as a character with some pretty fucked-up flaws, along with other minor issues. The prompt does basically call for it, really. There's no other way to spin it as a good thing.

Food for thought: I'm keeping tabs on Sea Urchin's story, and it's clear Anon is a massive twat. Despite that, I still love the story because of the events and how it's told.

If you have any other issues with my story, such as grammar/flow/punctuation, please let me know.

>>29421182
Looke there, I spell forty fourty
>Located in the town square tomorrow night
Changing that to evening. All of this is fixed in the pastebin.

>You and Spike thank the woman and leave.
>You’re pretty hungry, and this suit is pretty hot. The perfect combination for nausea.
>You need to get this thing off soon.
”Know any good places to eat?”
>Spike thought for a moment. “Oh yeah, we can try the Hay Burger. I bet there’s some food you will like!”
“Stellar.”

>The diner looks like, well. A diner.
>You and spike sit at a booth while a waiter comes up to take your order.
>No terrified looks yet, just some curious staring.
>It not that it pisses you off any, but you want to yell at them to mind their own fucking business.
>Oh look, your foods here.
>Spike digs in while you eyeball your hay burger.
>Fries taste normal. Now for the burger…
>Nope, taste like fucking hay. You spit it out in disgust.
>You rake your tongue for stray pieces of it. It’s all up in your teeth, too.
>Even more ponies are staring now.
>You give them the finger, they stare even more confused. Whatever.
>”You not like hay?”
“Human’s don’t eat grass.”
>Spike shrugs.
>You take all the hay off the burger and just eat the bread, lettuce, and tomato, then finish up your fries.
>Thanking him, Spike pays for your meals and you two leave.
>You tell Spike you want to just go back to the castle and study up on Equestrian History some more.
>You two make it back to the castle, and judging by the position of the sun, it’s around four PM, assuming if time would be the same.

>You head up to your room and check those clothes Rarity made you.
>You dump all of the suitcases’ content onto your bed. Shorts and a tee, socks… A pair of stylish white shoes… Sick, she made you a hoodie. Time to go thuggin’ around the streets of Ponyville.
>On a second thought, it was too hot for that. You’ll do that tomorrow night.

>>29421834
forgot to namefag, fuck I'm a mess
>>29416602
Pretty hyped for more Urchin

Your green is basically what inspired me to try to write one myself.
At least I'm not fucking up on my tenses now.

Just going to do a quick update and bump, which is all for the night.
>>29421834
>You still need more to wear, and some underwear. Actually, you could probably run around naked and no one would bat an eye, except for maybe Twilight and Spike, who’ve seen humans.
>You notice your old clothes clean and folded on your dresser. Oh, Spike must have washed them for you. Spike’s moving up on the totem pole.
>You strip and switch into that tee and shorts.
>Much better.
>You leave the suit on the floor and everything strung about your bed, and head out of your room for the library. Might as well try to learn about something you can’t use.
>Of course the library is huge. You might spend all day trying to find anything about magic, even if they were organized the same as your world.
>Nah fuck it, you’ll just ask Twilight about it later.
"You truly are getting wearisome, Anon. You were fun to watch, but now... Sigh. Looks like I have to give you something to do!"

>>29422098
Nigga I aint followin that link

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>>29390472
>>29390468
For shame, Carlosposter. For shame.
It isn't all that hard to make puns. You can't just post that image without one, it's a dick move. Honestly, I'm not even mad. I'm just disappointed in you.

>>29422816
Shit Carlos post
feel bad faggot

>>29422856
It's アンダイン Anon.

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>>29423461

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>>29381165
I got a magic wand right here, Twilight.

I just point it at faggots' heads and shout "Headicus Explodicus!"

Honestly though, why isn't this in AiE?

>>29423868
Because this Anon isn't in Equestria. He's insane.

That's how you make a pun, noobs.

>>29423868
If I had to guess (I wasn't here for the start, jumped in recently) I'd say it was because the stories started with a prompt that was posted outside of AiE and nobody has really complained or pushed for the move to happen, so why bother?

>>29423868
For the same reason why Flutterrape isn't, or Pony Prison general, or Reversed Gender Roles, or My Little Progress: Technology Isn't Magic, or Age Ain't Nothing But A Number.

We have enough writefags (and a single drawfag) to make our own thread, with black magic and hookers.

>>29424087
We have a drawfags?

>>29423929
Where's the pun?

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>>29424109
Someone edited pic related to make picture in OP, I think that counts.
Also this: >>29414096

>>29424127
Anon is not in Equestria.
Anon is in sane.

>>29424127
Bruh, really?

>>29424163
Welcome to 4chan.

>>29424087
This. I wouldn't mind joining AiE if we become too slow, though. I need to catch up on those threads too, I haven't checked them for months.

>>29423929
staph

>>29424050
>why bother
As a writefag for another general (that I've been trying to move to AiE), I'd think a livelier thread would be more fun, plus views are gold to writefags. The more they get the more they want to write, which means more content.
I just think it would be enjoyable.

>>29424087
>We have enough writefags
>all the generals
Hardly, plus most of those should be condensed too. Why have 10 slow ass threads that last for like weeks, instead of a lively common thread? Like the old AiE threads, shit was cash.

>>29424360
But there's the issue. Wrietfags like views and there's no guarantee a move to AiE would help. Why move yourself from a general where you know people like your stuff and its mere existence proves this and take it to a thread where you have to question yourself every post because nobody replies to you still, only now you don't have the existence of a general to validate you? Then you have to face that fact that, if it's an active thread and people DO get replies, you might not be the favorite. Everybody knows they're not the best, but being slapped in the face with it always sucks.

>>29424378
I agree 100%, unless it was a mass migration. Moving one entire thread would just add that plus AiE, which is definitely more views.
Add another thread, and it compounds.

The outcome would be awesome, just the entire thing is unlikely.

>>29424050
This is it, really. The past few or so threads were created only for two stories, one of which may be on hiatus. This subject really doesn't deviate from standard AiE enough to warrant its own thread, and I say this as someone who has absolutely no problem visiting each anon thread individually.
It makes more sense to just stick with the main AiE general.

>>29424562
I vote we at least keep this running until sea urchin and maybe the guy making the monkey king story if he writes more soon finish their stories. I only ever follow a thread or general for one or two specific stories at a time, and don't like having to go through so much other stuff to get to what I'm looking for personally.

>>29424684
>don't like having to go through so much other stuff to get to what I'm looking for personally
Why won't you just check out their pastebins?

>>29424841
because that requires effort

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Bump for moar.

>>29425110
Kill yourself.

I don't like how this story is turning out. I laid out the framework for the story too early on to make any changes I'd love to make now. Considering scrapping the story and moving on to another thread.

>>29426008
I know what you mean. Sometimes the framework of a story can be very oppressive. You just have to keep with it though. If it's becoming too daunting to move the story forward, take a break. That is, pick a segment and really draw it out. If done well, it will give you the break you need as well as add to the story. Maybe you could pick a theme for the story like light or water or friendship or anger or something and base it all around that to make writing fun. Sometimes thinking of places to add hints or symbolism are what can keep you going. You can do it, man.

>>29426060
And on that note, I'm glad I inspired you to write in the first place. That means a lot, ritefriend.

>>29426060
I really appreciate the advice... That actually helps quite a bit.
>take a break. That is, pick a segment and really draw it out.
That's exactly what I needed to hear. I've been thinking about this all wrong, way too linear.
Can't thank you enough.

>>29416602

“I have a better idea. I’ll tell you all you want to know about that spell if you reply with hints as to where you found it.”
>He scratches his chin in thought.
>As he contemplates that, you take a sip of your tea.
>Oh, that’s good. This is top shelf stuff.
>”Alright. Game start. Now answer my question.”
“Well, it kind of felt like when you leak in your sleep. It was very relaxing and warm.”
>”Warm ho--”
>You cut him off, setting your cup down.
“That’s not how this works.”
>”Right. Well, I had to venture out of my house for it.”
“Are you kidding? That’s nothing.”
>”You didn’t say they had to be good hints.”
“Alright, well casting the spell took magic.”
>”It was on paper.”
“I had to think to cast it.”
>”It was written with ink.”
>This is getting you nowhere but closer to being kicked out.
>He’s too focused on keeping whatever this is close to his chest.
>He’s probably afraid that you’re going to report him for a crime or something.
“Anon, I’m not here to accuse you of anything.”
>”Of course not. You’re here to annoy me.”
“I’m here to learn, and I want to learn about where you found the spell. I don’t care where it was.”
>Anon scoffs and sinks into his chair.
>His hand sneaks underneath his coat and he begins to rub his chest.
>”You say that now.”
>Ah ha! So he did break the law!

>>29427207

>Just keep him thinking in the short term. He’ll spill.
“I’m right here, Anon. Right now we’re alone.”
>No response save for a shuffle.
“Sometimes good people do stupid things.”
>Suddenly he erupts into laughter.
>He leans over, holding his gut as if it were ready to pop out.
>”Stupid things, she says!”
>You furrow your brow.
>This isn’t the result you wanted.
>”Oh, Twilight, if only you knew how not stupid this was. Don’t worry though, everyone will know in a few days.”
“Anon, come on. There’s no need to be so secretive.”
>He gets out of his chair and comes over to you.
>Gently, he nudges you out of yours.
>”Time for you to go now. I have work to do,” he says, coming off the fit.
“But I didn’t finish my tea! And you still don’t know about the spell!”
>”You’re right, but I’m done entertaining you and taking time out of work. I can just test it myself.”
>With a little more force, you’re pushed out of the chair and ushered out.
“Well can I come back later so we can talk?”
>”I’ll call you when I have an opening.”
“Hey, don’t be like this.”
>”Bye, Twilight.”
>And then the door closes.
>You huff and kick some snow at it.
>Fine, if he wants to be a Sour Drop, that’s alright.
>He can’t ignore friendship forever.
>As you walk away, some clouds collect in the sky and give you some shade as if you weren’t already sick of the dark from Anon’s house.
>Speaking of Anon, what did he mean by test it?

>>29427214

>You spend the rest of the day with Applejack.
>Her theories on hyperadvanced farming methods are quite interesting.
>You believe that with a little application and magical know-how, she could take farming into the next century.
>That is, if she ever wanted to move on from bucking.
>To each their own, you suppose.
>When you get back to your castle, Spike greets you with open arms.
>”Hey, Twilight! How’d it go with AJ?”
“Well enough,” you reply, returning his embrace.
>”Then why do you sound so down?”
>You sigh as your mind tracks back to earlier in the day.
>Your repeated failures with Anon must really be taking a toll on your friendship with him.
>Something has to change.
>”Is it Anon again?”
“Yeah. I just don’t know what to do, Spike. I’ve tried everything I can think of but I can’t figure out how to get him to open up to friendship.”
>He grabs your hoof and ushers you into the kitchen.
>At the table, there’s a nice hayburger waiting for you.
>Your stomach growls as you approach it.
>Mouth watering, you take a seat and chow down as he starts.
>”Maybe you should talk to Celestia again. She helped you last time, didn’t she?”
“That’s true. I hadn’t thought of that.”
>”And maybe while you’re in Canterlot, you could pick up the next issue of Power Ponies.”
“Maybe.”
>”Aw come on, Twilight! This is the Civil Dispute issue! The ponies are divided and only Captain Equestria can save the world from Metal Mare’s evil army of time traveling superdroids!”
>Eugh, time travel.
>You’re going to steer away from that topic.
“I’ll see about it, alright? Now, did you brush your fangs?”
>”Not yet.”
“Go on then. It’s time for bed.”
>”Yeah, yeah, alright.”

>>29427220

>So the next day comes and you decide to take Spike’s advice.
>You hail a carriage for the journey, making sure that it’s prepped with the essentials.
>Your “guards” pull it up to the front door and help you inside.
>”Where to, Princess?”
“Canterlot Castle, please.”
>”Right away.”
>They move, slowly getting your large purple vehicle into motion.
>The wheels move along the dirt until the pegasi up front unfurl their wings and take it all into the air.
>Soon, you’re soaring through the sky with a nice book to read.
>Time passes outside of yourself until you can feel the carriage jostle.
>Tearing yourself from the read, you look out the window and see you’ve landed just outside the castle gates.
>A guard appears outside your door and opens it up for you.
>You step out and thank him.
>The stallion bows, tipping his helmet.
>”Anything for you, m’lady.”
>Twenty yards away stands the castle, tall, piercing the sky like a giant marble sword.
>The huge doors peel open as you approach.
>There’s a guard standing there, blocking the path.
>The sun dances off his golden armor and spear as if he were blessed by Celestia herself.
>”Hello, Princess Twilight. What can we do for you?”
“I’m here to see the Princess.”
>”Do you have an appointment?”
“Of course not.”
>”Very well. Right this way, Princess.”
>The guard retreats within the safety of the castle and you follow him closely.
>The walk to the throne room is very long as usual.
>Your guide makes no effort to fill the time with conversation.
>It’s uncomfortable, sure, but not a problem.
>He takes you right to door, knocks for you, and then leaves to go about his business.

>>29427226

“Thank you,” you shout as he disappears down another hallway.
>You stand there in front of the throne room doors, waiting for someone to open it.
>Nobody does though.
>You’re left standing there in the huge hallway as voices within the room begin to rise.
>Curious, you press your ear against the door for a better listen.
>”Praytell, sister, wherefore art thou so disdainful of my love?”
>”I do accept him. I don’t accept the two of you.”
>”Dost thou holdith a grudge ‘gainst the poor? We took the not for such a highnose.”
>”I hold no grudge against any pony. My issue isn’t with his birth, it’s that you’re going to dump him in a month and break his heart.”
>”Tis a lie! We love him dearly!”
>”That’s what you said last time, and the time before that, and the time before that, and the time before that, and the time before that.”
>”A jaundiced account of our past.”
>”No, it’s fairly accurate. You’re always doing this, Luna. You can’t keep leading stallions on like that. It isn’t right. If you don’t cut it out now, I’ll do it for you.”
>”Thou art being a large excrement.”
>”We’re done here.”
>”We are done when we say we are done! We are done!”
>The sound of hooves stomping on marble grows louder.
>You squeal and jump away from the door as it’s wrapped in a navy light.
>Think fast, Twilight!
>In an instant, you’re shrouded in your own magical field.
>This invisibility spell better work. You’ve been studying it for long enough.
>Luna forces her way through the doors, nostrils flaring.
>She doesn’t seem to notice you, so you assume your field is correctly bending light around you.
>”We shall show thee, Celestia. We shall show thee the depths of our love,” she mutters and leaves, thankfully never turning back to you.
>The doors begin to close, but not before you sneak your way in.
>They slam shut, barely missing your tail.
>”That mare ages me,” sighs Celestia.

>>29427244

>She runs a hoof through her mane, capturing the loose ends and taming them.
>Then, adjusting herself to properly sit in the warm sunlight spilling in through the windows, she hovers over a scroll.
>Atop her throne at the end of the room, she reads off it.
>”Let’s see what’s lined up for the day. Raise the sun? Check. Breakfast? Check. Morning talks with sister? Check. Open day court? Almost check.”
“Wait, don’t open court yet,” you call out and drop your spell.
>The lavender lens that colored your world fades, leaving everything the stark white is should be.
>”Who goes there,” snaps Celestia.
>When her eyes land on you, they soften as much as her smile.
>”Oh, hello, Twilight. What a pleasant surprise this is.”
>You gallop up to the throne.
>She sets her scroll down and taps the seat next to her which you eagerly take.
>”To what do I owe the pleasure, my little pony? It certainly has been a while since you’ve come around.”
“Well, I thought I’d come by to see my old mentor and favorite aunt.”
>”I’m glad to hea--”
“And get your advice on a friendship issue.”
>”Oh. Yes, of course. I suppose that makes the most sense.”
“Thank you, Celestia.”
>”Anything for you, Twilight,” she says following a deep breath.
>You empty your heart to her about Anon and all the trouble he’s been giving you.
>Of course you made extra sure to leave out the part where he hit you. There’s no telling what dungeon he would be thrown in for that.
>Well, and the part about the runes.
>That one might even land you in a dungeon too.

>>29427249

>To her credit, she patiently waits through your whole speech, reserving her judgement on everything until the end.
>The sunlight bounces off her pristine coat, her sparkling mane, as she shifts in her seat halfway through your spiel.
>How many breaths did you take during this? Probably not enough, but you still finished.
>She’s not saying anything.
>Why isn’t she saying anything?
>Oh no, has she mastered open-eyed sleeping?
>You’ve bored her to death, haven’t you?
>”I think you’re very dedicated to your friends.”
>Oh thank goodness.
>”Of course, that’s simply your attitude toward everything. You’re a stubborn girl, Twilight, and while I do applaud that, there are some instances where I believe it hurts you more than it helps.”
“Such as?”
>”Come, Twilight. You’re a smart girl. Do you really need me to explain to you where I’m going with this?”
>She smiles and extends a wing.
>It reaches across the gap between your seats and wraps around you.
>”You have so much love to give. I understand that you want to share it with everyone, but you must consider that you’re being too giving with Anon. We’ve had this talk before, haven’t we? Sometimes friends need space to truly appreciate each other.”
“But I tried that before and it didn’t help.”
>”Didn’t it though? I hadn’t gotten any word from you thereafter, so I would assume everything worked out.”
>Well kind of, you guess.
>He did start talking to you more at one point.
>Still though, it led you here.
>For that matter, so did your friendship up until then too, and that seemed to be going very well for the seventeen months it lasted.
“I guess you’re right.”
>”Well at least you acknowledge that.”
>You got what you needed, you suppose.
>There’s no reason to stay and distract her.