Anonymous in Equestria Thread #1114: Friendship is being Inconsiderate

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>>29364561
First for 8th being a lewd pony

>>29364561
Anon should've noticed something was up when Fluttershy slammed her forehoof into her meal to hand him her glass.

>>29364571
Lewd ponies get put in the shed.

When will someone write a good ol' 80's style green in which Anon goes through some Evil Dead-esque shit?

I'd do it, but I've already got another green on the way.

>>29364876
Hasn't that been done?

>>29365624
Anon accidently kills Twilight with a hamster.

Gib requests.
Preferably strange ones.

>>29366092
Rainbow Dash reveals that the secret to her speed is jet propulsion via farts. Twilight Sparkle is fascinated, though the stench is horrible.

>>29366092
Princess Celestia popping out of a cake at a bachelor party--then eating the entire cake herself.

>>29366092
Fat neckbeard bronies in fedoras and MLP t-shirts trying to chase down ponies to hug them. The ponies are horrified and fleeing.

I remember a long time ago people decided to write some one-shots in their native language or any language except English, others would then use Google Translate to translate the stories to English.
Some good laughs were had if I remember correctly.
How about you guys try and do that one more time?

>>29366132
>>29366182
>>29366198
Give me three more and I'll do a one shot for each this week.

>>29366528
That's an offer I can't refuse. Let me think.

1. Anonymous comes to Equestria and attempts to woo his waifu. Waifu says, "no, sorry, wrong species, you even SMELL wrong." Anon haz a sad.

2. Anonymous is a witness to a slowly escalating prank war between Celestia and Luna, with larger and larger numbers of whoopee cushions being deployed, some of them magically amplified. When they blow the windows out of the throne room, they sheepishly agree that they may have gone too far--not noticing that Anon was also blasted out the window and is even now yelling "looks like Team Rocket is blasting off again!" as he disappears into the distance..

3. Anonymous is on the Apple farm, helping out. As he has done farm work before, he notices something curious--all the apples, and other fruits and vegetables they produce, are curiously uniform. IRL when you have, for example, an apple tree, some of the apples will come out picture-perfect and pretty, but some will grow lopsided, or get gnawed on by a bird, etc (and in a commercial orchard the pretty ones get bagged and shipped to supermarkets for sale as fresh produce; the imperfect ones become canned applesauce and similar canned products). In Magic Poni Land this never happens. Anonymous has discovered the Apple Secret...

Are these good?

>>29366594
I can work with this.
Anon's gonna get his kneecaps broke on the last one though.

>>29366727
>I can work with this.
kewl
>Anon's gonna get his kneecaps broke on the last one though.
He probably deserves it.

>You are Anonymous.
>It's been three years since the accident took your arms and required you to have chainsaws grafted to the stumps.
>You try to make the best of it.
>You have a job clearing space in the Everfree Forest, but you don't have too many friends.
>No one will Brohoof you when you have chainsaws for arms.
>It feels bad.
>Heading back to town, you see your Bro Rainbow Dash.
>Hey! She'll bump you one!
"Hey! Rainbow!" you call.
>She looks down at you quizzically.
"Bump me!"
>Her eyes drift over the rusty chains and the bits of wood stuck out of it and her face contorts in horror.
>She flies off without a word and leaves your heart broken.
>You get low, low enough to just want to end it.
>You try to saw off your own head, but your stumpy arms can't reach.
>God your life sucks.

>>29367198
Always a good bump.

>>29364561
Tripfags in Horselandia

>Stranger than Fan Fiction

>"Dash can't you just poke holes in it some other way."
>"No, it needs to be authentic."
>"I don't think anyone would notice if you did it the easy way."
>"They might not notice but I would. I wouldn't be her biggest fan if I didn't go for maximum accuracy."
>Letting out a sigh, you release another arrow.
>Shooting a hat was not how you imagined spending this morning.

>The Cart Before the Ponies

>"Derby Racers to the starting line! Derby racers to the starting line!"
>Oh shit it's starting, gotta get a spot with a good view of the race...
>Mother of god.
>That outfit.
>That puts the cheer in Cheerilee.
>Are you, dare you say it, hot for teacher?
>You're gonna need a moment to compose yourself.
>Fuck.
>Why in the name of all that's pony did Big Mac turn that down?

>28 Pranks Later

>You've just stepped off the train from Canterlot and started walking home.
>Something doesn't seem right in Ponyville.
>It's too quiet.
>And none of the houses have lights on inside.
>It's only just after sundown, there should be some ponies out and about.
>A bit eerie really.
>As if to punctuate that thought, a discarded newspaper page blows past in the wind.
>Ok, it's full on creepy.
>Kind of reminds of the beginning of a zombie movie you saw once.

>>29368803
>The Times are a Changeling

>Spike has just finished telling you about his trip to the Crystal Empire.
>This time he made friends with a Changeling.
>"You just get into all sorts of trouble anytime you go there, don't you."
>"Heh heh, I guess I do. But I'm sure you had an adventure while me and Twilight where gone right?"
>Nope.
>"I ate some soup."
>"Oh...."

>Dungeons and Discords

>"So I just step onto the board?"
>"Yes. Now hurry up, the bad guys won't defeat themselves."
>You step onto the board.
>There's a fizzing sound anda bright flash.
>Menacing armor now covers you and a huge mace is in your hand.
>"Cool!"
>You kinda look like Sauron.
>As you look up from examining your new armor of +10 badass, you see everybody staring at you.
>"What?"
>They all turn to stare at Discord.
>He looks mildly shocked at the silent, accusing eyes.
>"Don't look at me, I didn't make him an evil overlord."
>Evil overlord?

>Buckball Season

>Man this Buckball thing is really taking off.
>Everypony has facepaint and shirts and fuck knows what else.
>And where the hell are they getting it from?
>The team didn't exist until yesterday.
>Hell, no one knew what buckball was until yesterday.
>"I better investigate."
>------------
>The trail has led to this brightly lit alley. Because it's midday.
>You approach the shifty, trenchcoat wearing pony.
>"I hear you've got buckball merchandise."
>"Anon!"
>"Rarity!"
>"It's not what it looks like!"

http://pastebin.com/LsRTPhwb

>>29368830
I always enjoy these
but shit, what are you going to do when you run out of episodes?

>>29368879
It's fanfiction. Perhaps he'll write new episodes.

>>29292711
PiE lives! Have some Apple PiE.

>Be young George WashingtAnon
>You have been left home whilst your parents are out for various errands
>Mistress Applejack is to care for you in the meantime
>She is an odd woman
>Her accent is odd
>She insists on contracting the word "you" and "all" when addressing a group, for example
>Her garb, and lack thereof, is odd
>Naught but a bizarrely misshapen tricorn
>Her body is even odder still
>In simple terms, she is an orange pony with oversized facial features and a depiction of three apples on either side of her hips
>Were that not strange enough, she just gave you nap time while the sun is still three full hands-widths above the horizon
>Total bullshit
>Disregard the constabulary, you're playing outside
>You open the bedroom door with caution
>Mistress Applejack is resting a room away with her back to the door
>You exit the house in the direction opposite to her
>Be outside
>Still feeling rebellious
>Retrieve axe
>Approach cherry tree on property
>You swing the axe with all of your youthful might
>THWACK!
>Oh fuck, that was louder than expected
>Already there's the sound of hoofbeats inside your home
>THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!
>The hoofbeats approach
>You keep thwacking it like a lonely teen on prom night
>"George, what in the blazes-?!"
>THWACK!
>Crackle, thump
>Rice Crispies
>You have felled the cherry tree
>"Consarnit, George WashingtAnon! Your pappy's gonna be right mad with you when he gets home!"
"Not if I tell him you did it."
>Mistress Applejack scowls and stares you in the eye
>She approaches until you are nose-to-nose with her
>"That there's a lie. I don't care much for liars."
>Many children of your generation die before adulthood
>You gulp and silently swear not to become one of them
"Okay, I won't lie!"
>"Good. Now, would you care to tell me WHY?"
"Cherries are stupid?"
>She smiles and ruffles your hair with a hoof
>"I knew you listened to me! Midget apples like those oughta get put out of their misery."

>>29367198
>You are Unknown
>It's been three years and a day since a group of bears found your 'bare arms' joke inappropriate and stole them causing you to replace them with circular saws, but who's counting?
>You suppose things are alright.
>You can carve wood like nobody's business. It must take 15 lumberjacks to keep up with you.
>No one appreciates your work though, they just pick it up from a wholesaler and think nothing about it.
>Sad.
>Heading to the Everfree you plan to give them lumberjack ponies the very same thanks they deserve.
>Holy shit! It's another human!
"Dude!" you yell
>He looks at you equally surprised
"Respeck Knuckles!"
>His eyes illuminate with the power of a thousand suns.
>His chainsaw fist clashes with your circular saw.
>Sparks fly as the tools cry out amidst the devastated forest
>You instantly know you have made a friend this day, one who understands
>God this shit is metal

>>29369561
HA!

>>29369561
>tfw stories posted on a Norwegian wool darning board are more relevant to the source material than the current state of the show

>>29370656
AchingScaphoid lives!

>>29372213
No he doesn't.

>>29366132
>Monday evening again and your usual squatter has made an appearance.
>The Great Beerdini.
>The Booze Vampire.
>Rainbow Dash.
>She always shows up and gets into your fridge before you get home from work. Then she kills your stash and passes out in your dirty laundry.
>You have no idea why she does this, but it would be nice if she at least slipped you some bits now and again. Or cleaned your bathroom after her hangover dump in the morning.
>Skid marks. Skid marks everywhere.
>Today though is different.
>Today she is awake and has a friend with her.
>It’s Twilight, who looks incredibly embarrassed.
>”Hi Anonymous.”
Twilight.
>Rainbow Dash puffs herself up and attempts to give you a high five.
>”Supp Anon, you ready to party with me again?”
You mean where you drink all my beer and pass out before I get home from work? No.
>She just laughs and jumps roughly onto your couch before opening up a 40.
>You decided to fill your fridge with the cheap stuff since the ponice said they wouldn’t do anything to stop her and she wrecked the place last time you left it dry.
>’Mares will be Mares’ they said.
>Your tax bits at work.
So Twilight, why are you here this week?
>”Rainbow Dash invited me.”
I see. You had no idea it was like this?
>”No, I’ll try to get her to stop.”
Wait for her to sober up. She won’t listen to anyone right now.
>While you and Twilight were conversing Rainbow Dash was in your kitchen rummaging around for snacks and beer. When she came back out you noticed that she was about ready to crash.
>She makes her way over to the laundry room where she knocks over your dirty clothes basket and makes herself a nest.

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>>29373190
>”Hey Anon, Twilight.”
What?
>”Wanna know how I fly so fast?”
No. No I don’t.
*PFFFFFFFRRRRRRT*
>”HAHAHAHA! AFTERBURNERS!”
>Twilight cringes and waves her hoof in front of her face to ward off the smell. You just shake your head and close the door.
>”Why do you put up with this?”
You guy have saved the world a couple of times. Plus I did go to the ponice, but they are fairly useless.
>”Those guys aren’t actually law enforcement. They run a gay sex club and stripper service. I’m actually the local authority here in town.”
Great, can I file a complaint then?
>”Yes, just make an appointment with Spike in the morning and then I’ll take care of it.”
Sounds good to me.
>The next day you filled out the complaint form and turned it in.
>As punishment Rainbow Dash was required to pay you back.
>She offered blowjobs instead of bits.
>You declined.
>Rainbow Dash is not your waifu and you need to remain pure.

>>29372477
Another lich?

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>>29373768
Yup.

>>29373817
We should hang out

There any decent lovecraftien AiE?
I wanna see a story in which Anon is just Nyarlathotep

>>29366182
This is not strange at all. Sounds perfectly in-character to me.

>>29374585
Someone posted one not so long ago.
Mandroid it was, I think, but for the life of me I cannot remember the name of the story.

>>29376110
Green about Anon fighting/building communism when?

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>>29364561
Are there any good Evil Anon stories? I love reading from the perspective of a villain.

>>29376582
Go to "An Archive of Our Own" and look for RHjunior's "The Rise of Darth Vulcan."

It's a mocking deconstruction of... goddamnit I can't recall the title but there are a bunch of idiotic stories all over FIMfiction like a rash with the premise, "Cosplayer goes to Equestria, then gets powers based on his costume! OMG!"

The viewpoint character is a nerdy teenage asshole--a real, real asshole. He was wearing a half-done homebrew Sith Lord costume when he got magically whatever'd to Magic Poni Land. His zipper is stuck and he can't get the stupid getup off. Rainbow Dash attacks him on sight, because he's "evil looking" so he must be evil, right? This version of RD is stupid. And a cunt.

The viewpoint character gets his hands on the Alicorn Amulet and loots Purplesmart's treebrary of magic books to teach himself magic--once he learns to read pone runes.

And he kills a dragon with the blackest of black magic and steals its hoard. And hires himself a gang of Diamond Dogs and minotaur mercenaries and sets up shop in some caves in the Everfree. The Princesses capture him with magic and Princess Luna basically tortures him with mind magic to interrogate him, until his peeps come and bust him out (they're stupid loyal like that) and then he decides to be a supervillain. He's out to embarrass the Princesses and maybe even overthrow the government, but he doesn't want to hurt anyone, but this doesn't prevent him from being a dick to everyone but his gang (he wants them to be loyal, see). He spies on Ponyville and sees Diamond Tiara being a cunt, so he kidnaps her and tortures her psychologically until she breaks, and turns her loose again, with her personality greatly improved by a dose of her own medicine. He stages train robberies Butch & Sundance style to steal magical artifacts. And yes, he has read the Evil Overlord List. Chrysalis has the hots for him but he finds her physically repugnant.

I found it lulzy, but it's unfinished.

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Can anyone recommend me a Trixie×Anon story?
Doesn't have to be lewd.

>inb4 stories sorted by pone
I'm asking for you favorites. Gonna just pick a few randoms in the mean time though.

>>29376870
2000 character limit.

Anyway, my standards are kind of low and not everyone likes the things I like.

Also, this character--I am not sure if he counts as "evil," exactly. He's an asshole. He's tweaking the Princesses' noses from his lair in the Everfree for shits and giggles--he's stuck in this world, he has no way home, and he blames them (Moonbutt's use of mind magic torture during his captivity didn't exactly endear them to him either). So he's got this Riddler style supervillain "battle of wits/battle of wills" thing going on. He is giving the Princesses fits, and and they don't even seem to grasp fully that he's just a bored teenager who's acting like a griefer in an MMORPG for lack of anything else to do.

>>29376870
>>29376899
Yeah, the first roughly half of the story is pure comedy gold. The author is quite good at writing top-tier snark and his descriptions had me laughing pretty hard. Plus the whole concept is a pretty amusing one, especially his initial shake-things-up phase. But eventually the whole thing gets taken a little bit too far and after a while it gets to be a little wearing.
>Celestia and Luna get demoted from merely not understanding the unfamiliar ways in which the main character works to being retarded and incapable rulers period
>Plans the ponies have been running for many chapters long to finally gain an advantage over the main character suddenly backfire in bizarre ways, completely contradicting what has been hinted as happening up to that point.
>MC slowly becomes increasingly less humorous and more outright unpleasant - which by word of author is a deliberate result of the amulet corrupting him - except that said unpleasantness never actually hurts him, so it's a 'flaw' in name only.
>Meanwhile the author increasingly introduces new ways in which Equestria is actually hostile, oppressive, or incompetent in ways never even implied let alone actually shown on the show
At a certain point it stopped being a hilarious sendup of the what happens when a competent but childish guy runs into Equestria's black-and-white morality and saccharine nature, and more the protagonist crusading against some kind of bizarre alternate-Equestria in which everyone is either an asshole, an idiot, or both. It's not the only way the author's views seem to slip into the writing; at one point Twilight goes on a chapter-long political rant.

>>29376889
Gadget's

>>29377509
He's got a ton a shit, anything ya like the best?

>>29376986
Honestly I'd love to see a Doctor Doom style villain in Equestria where his schemes don't pan out due to the friendly nature of ponies.

>"You want to take over? Okay, my sister and I need a vacation."

>>29377682
The Trixie story you tard.

>>29378589
Anon starts a fan club, "Tards for Trixie."
Trixie has since retired and lives under an assumed name in Pennsylvania.

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>>29379502

>>29379528
Fluttershy's expression really sells it.

Where is our Anon when he fuck asian pony?

>>29379600
What

>>29380590
Hue

>>29376986
...is this thread still here?

Anyway.

From what I see in-story, the human viewpoint character is starting to notice that the Alicorn Amulet is whispering to him--and it wants pain and blood and death--but he is just ignoring it. He doesn't seem to have noticed, though, that every time he tries to do research on the actual properties of the actual Alicorn Amulet, it's warping his mind and making him forget or think of something else.

I would agree, though, that it's already been hinted that at some point he's going to go slipping down the slippery slope of sanity, and his gang, heretofore loyal, is going to start plotting against him, if only because they think he's going nuts.

Also, the Equestria in which it is set reminds me a bit of--well, do you ever go to FIMfiction? A writer using the pen name Estee has written "The Triptych Continuum" and "The Canterlot Deportation Agency," which may or may not be set in the same 'verse, in which adorable poni society is very imperfect and rough around the edges, with corrupt nobles and merchants, and bureaucrats petty, corrupt, inept, or all three managing to absolutely destroy the lives of ponies like Heart Root, or the "delinquents" from Cirrus. Which is a little amusing, since I am pretty sure Estee and RHjunior would loathe one another, being, among other things, political opposites.

Anyway. It seems to be yet another abandoned fic, perhaps unfortunately. RHjunior is talking to readers in the comments and I get the impression he feels uninspired lately. Which happens to all of us, I suppose.

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>>29381402
Poor mintjumper

>>29382745
I've read a metric fuckton of Estee's stuff, yes. I certainly consider him one of the better writers when it comes to writing, for lack of a better way to put it, a grey-enough universe. The core elements of the Friendship is Magic setting are absolutely still there and nothing is so dark as to induce apathy or a sense it's not the same universe anymore, but things are also darkened enough to produce a stronger conflict with higher stakes.

If I were to compare the two I'd say that both looked at the idea of a less black-and-white Equestria and ran with it; but while Estee knows how to balance his grimdark with friendship and capable characters who work towards the right goals, RHJunior took that idea and never stopped running with it. For every tragic happening and slimy or incompetent character in Estee's stuff, there's also a positive turnaround and caring relationship to match it. Darth Vulcan, though, started as a character being "evil" because it was the only way Equestria knew to interpret him, but somewhere along the way turned into being just as bad if not worse than he is in order to continue driving his advantage.

To give one metric of analysis: In Estee's settings the Alicorn Sisters are tremendously flawed individuals; A Mark of Appeal had a few chapters that could easily have been named How Alicorns Fuck Up, and it's clearly been hinted even worse is coming. Yet, they're also capable, competent, and caring who clearly love each other deeply and are antagonized at one's own risk. In RH, on the other hand, they're apparently neglectful of their subjects, unable to carry out simple plans and uncaring to the point that Celestia has never even considered what the experience of Nightmare Moon was like to Luna.

Anon discovers he was raped after passing out at a party when he can no longer see unicorns.

>>29383154
indeed.

Of course, perhaps--giving RHjunior the benefit of the doubt here--perhaps he's writing Darth Vulcan and the Princesses as unreliable narrators. The former is getting visibly angrier and angrier for no good reason (perhaps the Amulet is doing it to him) in later chapters. And possibly Sunbutt has indeed had those thoughts, in the centuries and centuries and centuries that passed since Nightmare Moon's banishment--and they were so hurtful to her that she pushed them away with the will and focus that only an immortal can manage.

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>>29383154
>>29383459
...good lord, aren't we taking horsewords seriously?

Here, have a banana joke.

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>>29384128

>>29385106
>You are Anon and it's dark.
>Dark and nighttime.
>And you are currently sneaking are like a motherfuckin' ninja in Twilight's library.

Spike.
>Execute a perfect tuck and roll.
>Chloroform rag to the face.
>Out like a light. He might have been already sleeping.

>You can't seem to find the advance spell books.
>Should have really paid attention all the times you've been here with the lights on.
>Nah, books r lame.

Summoning: LOL.
>Jackpot. Must be stand for something powerful in pone.
>With your tome in tow, you make a break for the door like a bat out of hell.
>You have your prize, no need for stealth. GOTTAGOFAST!!
>Sleepy Sparkle can't stop you now!!
"Suck it Bookhorse! I'll show YOU who can't do magic!!"
>You bust down the door with a kick and BOOK it home.

>Door locked. Lights on. Finally safe.
Summoning 101.
>Fuck.
>Whatever, doesn't have to be powerful, just has to prove Twackle Spackle wrong.
>You're damn tired of her refusing to let you try ANY magic in this EXTREMELY magical world.
>Something about being foreign and how the results would be uncontrollable.
>Pppfffttttt
>Racist.

1st page.
>....
50th page.
>Now we're cooking with fire!
>Ehhh..maybe not a fire elemental in your living room.
>Water. Easy, what the worst that could happen? Rug gets wet?
>As an ace artist, you quickly free hand the symbols from the book on to some paper and toss it on the ground.
>Candles?
>Lit.
>You begin to read the spell.
>All of the candles are blown out.
>The loose leaf rises and glows a molten red.
>Light blinds you and you shield your eyes.

>All is quiet the light dying down, and you open your eyes to see what looks like a demon pone.
>Ya done fucked up.
"..."
>"..."
"......."
>The maroon pony glares at you.
>"Why have you summoned me?"
"...uh..to prove a point?"
>"Very well."
>Without another word she breaks down your door and proceeds to start torching Ponyville.
"...Fuck. We'll there goes another library card."

>>29385265
Sounds about right. Anon isn't supposed to be good at stuff.

crossposting
>Be Princess Anonpone in Equestria
>You're sitting in your throne under Canterlot
>Your castle in on a mountain on the other side of Equestria
>Princess Celestia fucks up a spell and now there's a pink skinned biped wearing lots of clothes in front of you
"Celestia go back to your castle and clutter that up instead. This castle is mine and only my clutterage is allowed in here."
>"But I like this one more."
>"Where the fuck am I?"
>You turn to the source of the sound.
>It's that biped thing.
"You're in my Castle because SOMEPONY can't keep their horn in their pants."
>"Hmmm." Hmmms Celestia
>Her horn is glowing when you turn back to look at her.
>This never ends well.
>A stallion appears in front of her.
>Her horn glows again and then a griffon also appears.
>Before you can tell her to cut this shit out she's magiced up another five assorted beings.
>Which upon further inspection are all male.
>"Sweet, I just invented a spell that gives me stallions!"
>Celestia goes madder with power.
>Within ten minutes your entire castle is filled with stallions of a myriad of species.
>They are spilling out the windows and over balconies and are falling into space under your castle
>This will take ages to clean up.
>Fucking surface-princesses.

>>29385623
Surface Princesses ruin everything.

>>29385372
Me too!

>Be Anon.
>Don't want to be bothered today, so you put up some AA defenses.
>Some cattle grids in the yard.
>And you're sitting in your safe room that has a Faraday Cage built into the walls.
>The lengths you go to in order to masturbate to old Playboys in peace.
>"Hi Anon!"
Hi Pinkie.
>"You trying to punch the clown again?"
Yes Pinkie.
>"You know that flogging the dolphin is against the rules"
Go eat a dick Pinkie.
>"No can do, I'm just here to play games with you until you don't feel like adjusting your antenna."
This isn't fair.
>"It's your own fault. Draining the monster while thinking about Princess Celestia is a sin."
How was I supposed to know she could hear that?
>"You were hiding under her bed Anon."
It's my fetish!

>>29374346
Cool beans. Wanna play some vidya? That first euphemism in >>29386972
has me in the mood for some Space Station 13.

>>29387310
Nowhere to jack off on the station either.
No privacy and jizz clogs up the environmental systems.

>>29384128

Why don't we try doing like a round robin story?

Someone starts with a 1 post story and then someone else continues and so on and so forth until we get bored of it or we write ourselves into a hole.
An AiE-wide collab would be awesome.

>>29388944
I'm up for it. We could put it in the AiE pastebin if it's any god.

Someone make a prompt or write the opening. I'm on my phone at work so I can't join in, yet.

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>>29388944
>Why don't we try doing like a round robin story?

Okay.

>you are US Air Force Captain Anonymous
>a B-52 pilot taking place in top-secret Operation ROUND ROBIN
>flying patrols just outside Soviet airspace in rotation 24/7
>with live nuclear weapons on board
>just in case the commies want to get sporty
>Nothing could possibly go wrong with this plan.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Chrome_Dome

It was real and it went on for at least eight years, by the way.

>>29388944
I'd be down.

>>29389046
That's badass.

>>29389046
We SAC now.

Is Zew ded? I was really enjoying his story

Crosspostan
Written with help from the discord
>Anon turns into a manlier version of whatever pony he has most recently talked to
>"A guy version of X" where X is who he last encountered
>Anon talks to Celestia.
>He now looks like a man version of Princess Celestia.
>Anon talks to Discord.
>He now looks like a man version of discord.
>Anon talks to big mac.
>He now looks like a man version of big mac.
>Anon talks to a changeling.
>Anon now looks like a manlier kind of changeling.

>He becomes a man version of whatever he's talking to.
>But whose version of manliness is used?
>Would a more manly version of Bulk be less muscular because that's unstallionlike? (Pony version of manliness)
>Or would BulkAnon be even more SWOLE?

>The real question is if he used the mirror pool and talked to his clone.
>And they do this back and forth.
>Until they reach the event horizon of manliness.
>To peek over the edge of eternity into masculinity.

>Be Anon in the forest by a pool of water.
>You have a swim.
>Two yous get out.
>The positive-feedback loop between the two of you becoming a manlier version of the other makes you both go past the most manly possible configuration.
>The two of you go beyond this and loop back around into being female.
>A hole tears open in the universe between you, a glowing white tear emitting an inhuman noise.
>"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

>>29388944
so are we not doing this?
we really should, something to keeps us alive.

anyway we can gauge actual interest and maybe roll for order? who cares if it takes days, ya know

>>29390271
>Be Anon in Equestria.
>This is not a land of magical talking horses who have brightly coloured fur and can optionally be winged and or or horned.
>No, that would be silly.
>This is a land of magical talking PONIES who have brightly coloured fur and can optionally be winged and or or horned.
>You know this to be a fact because one of them is standing right in front of you and trying to get your attention.

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>>29390363
Not him, but I'll jump in.

>"Anon...ANON!!"
>You shake yourself out of your little daydream and look down at the purple pone glaring at you.
Sigh.
"What is it Twiggles?
>glare_intensifies.jpg
"It's my day off, what could I possibly have done this time?"
>She hops up on the park bench next to you, trying to get the higher ground and looks down at you.
>Queue eye roll.

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>>29390271
I think "First in" style rules should be the way to go otherwise it'd be impossible for regular anons to join in as this'll be a "AiE collab". If that proves to be too unruly or messy, then we'll hash out a roll order.
Someone in the skype chats calls 8th so he knows to put these in the AiE paste

>>29390482
>"You were day dreaming again," the perplexed purple pony princess pronounces proudly.
"And you saw fit to take me away from that?"
>"We were supposed to be at Fluttershy's an hour ago."
"And you didn't come find me sooner?"
>You flail your arms about and raise your voice far louder than need be all to be overly sarcastic about this. You've never been too keen on any of these ponies, save for one.
>"Anonymous," Twilight says in a somber tone, "you promised."
"Fine," you sigh, "Drag me in chains away to damnation. I was not long for this world anyway."
>This perks up Twi's mood a little as she wanders towards yellow shy's home with you following in tow.

>>29390607
>AT FLUTTERSHY's COTTAGE
>Twilight pulls you through the door without knocking because fuck common courtesy
>Fluttershy sits at her table alone with a full tea set that has no doubt gone cold
>"Oh, you made it."
>"Have you been waiting the whole time?"
>"Yes."
"And I thought I was sad."
>Fluttershy flies into your face
>"Anonymous, you're not sad, you're just different, and there's nothing wrong with that."
"I was being snarky. One of these days I'll have Twilight teach you about it whenever I can find a time she's not stuffing her face."
>Said face shoots up from the depths of the plate of tea cakes
>"Hey!"

>>29390922
"Honestly Twi, what do you do, magic away all those calories? You should be as heavy as a horse by now."
>Twilight scrunches her face.
>"I'll have you know I train with Rainbow."
>Putting on a smug look she continues.
>"She started with simply teaching be how to control my flight, but I discovered that I was spending some time bonding with a friend in a new way, AND keeping healthy!"
>Smugness now gone, you see all that's left on Twilight's face is a stupid grin. Getting larger as she gets herself more and more excited about some friendship nonsense.
>You feel a Princess of Friendship lecture coming on, but after seeing that silly pone get so happy about doing something new with a friend you just can't bring yourself to shut it down in a snarky way.
"THAT'SGREATTWILIGHTMAKESUREYOUGETMADGAINS!"
>She pauses startled.
>"Tha-"
"Soooo sorry we're late Flutters, I really wasn't paying attention to the time."

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>>29390363
>>29390482
>>29390607
>>29390922
>>29391195
Oh, boy. I'm glad this idea is getting off the ground.
Here will be the paste for it http://pastebin.com/U4jQHkFD

I should probably get back onto the active list now that I think about it.

>>29391256
"Berry, you can't keep vector as a pet."
>"Why not?"
"Because it's not real."
>"I'm not real."

>>29391256
>pastebin
>[Anonymous]
so thats how youre saving it
hmmm dunno if i want to become a namefag or just stay anon

>>29391286
For now though I'm not set on it. If most people are writing as Anonymous then there's little point to tracking names.

>>29391291
I say keep it for now, only a few posts in. We'll see what happens.

>>29391256
Hmmm, not enough farting. 5/7.

>>29392019
Do you think Cheerilee makes clones of herself, kills them, and then grinds them up and sells them as cereal?
Because that's my fetish.

>>29392490
No. I do not.

>>29391256
>getting off the ground
hardly. looks like a fun idea, ill add to it a little later when im free

we really need to get the mods to kill all these fucking generals and condense everyone back into AiE. its a fucking shame. and theres no reason for all the bullshit. any ideas how this can be done?
leave flutterape though

>>29392682
Fucking this. I just counted, including the CYOAs there are like 15+ threads/"generals" with Anon (a human) in Equestria.
If we got like even half of those back here, we'd have a very lively place again. Instead of a bunch of slow as ass threads where nothing happens, people get bored, and bail.
It would be not only good for AiE, but for the board too.

MODS MODS MODS

>>29392682
>>29392743
>Wanting the mods to do anything ever
I don't want to live in this world

>>29391195
>"That's okay, I'm sure you had a good reason."
"Nope."
>"Well, um, then I'm sure you didn't do it on purpose."
"Huh? Sorry, I blacked out for a second."
>Distraught horse grumbling noises
>Princess PE chimes in from her plate of snacks
>"Don't worry about him, Fluttershy. He suffers from a very bad case of ADD."
"Your test was bullshit!"
>"I asked you to go one minute without setting my library on fire, and what do you do?"
"Made smores."
>"And that is why you are not allowed to talk to Spike anymore."
>"Anon's not allowed to talk to Spike anymore?"
>"It's for their own good. Once Anonymous proves he can be even the tiniest bit responsible then I'll reconsider it, AND REMEMBERING A FRIEND'S INVITATION TO A TEA PARTY AND MAKING IT THERE ON TIME WOULD HAVE BEEN A GOOD FIRST STEP."

crosspostan:
>Be Anon in reversed gender roles Equestria
>You are at the bakery to buy food.
"Hello Pinkie I want to buy some food. Please give me twelve breadknives and a sweet chainsaw."
>"Those aren't real foods, silly."
"You have them on display under the counter."
>"Do we?"
>Pinkie looks under there.
>"Wow, you're right! You should be the one running the bakery instead of me."
>Pinkie swaps places with you.
>"So are you going to sell them to me or what?"
>"Pinkie, we need another hoof back here." calls Mr. Cake.
>Pinkie is standing there holding your wallet.
>You decide to just get your food from under the counter yourself.
>You're about to grab your wallet and leave with the food since you already paid for it.
>But then the fire nation attack-
>No, that's LaP's new story, not this one.
>But then Mrs. Cake grabbed you by the arm and dragged you into the kitchen.
>"You're not Pinkie but you're a stallion so you'll know how to run a kitchen." says the woman horse baker lady person
>You do not know how to run a commercial kitchen.
>"Come on Anon, show me your mad cooking skillz" says Pinkie.
>Curses! Peer pressure, your biggest weakness.
>Other than all the other greater weaknesses you have.
>You soon cave to it and try to cook.
>You have no idea what you're doing but you pretend that you do.
>Okay, bring the oil up to a nice boil to preheat it.
>Put the flour in the oven until it goes soft.
>What are these timers doing on your counters?
>A clean counter is essential for good cooking.
>You throw them away and wipe down the bench where they were.
>Oh no the kitchen is on fire!
>Pinkie takes you back out of the kitchen while the two baker spouses fight the blaze.
>"Are you sure you don't have a vagina?"
"What? No, I'm a man."
>"Maybe we just didn't look closely enough."

>>29392682
Did you forget we're sooper meanies?

>>29393512
i think it's more the context of the farts, eg.

>*story about farts*
>ha ha, farts

>*story about farts*
>*pops a boner*

only one of these is acceptable

>>29393611
Can't we have both?

>>29392806
"I'm so sorry Fluttershy," you lie as you swoon, gripping her fore hooves as you star deeply I to her eyes, "I've been an awful... friend."
>You even add in a little bit of choking up to really sell it.
>Twilight doesn't of course, she just rolls her eyes and waits for butter-shutter to take the bait.
>And she does.
>"Oh, don't say that. I don't mind. Really, you're a wonderful friend. What matters is you made it."
"There must be a way I can make it up to you."
>"Well... if you don't mind... there is one thing."
>Doormatshy looks up at you awkwardly with a blush.
>Curious, you agree. Stupidly, you didn't ask what before agreeing.
>So you then soon find yourself sitting at a table too small for you wearing a frilly pink duchess-esque dress Flutter-nutter had commissioned by Rarity for you for just such an occasion.
>Fluttershy sits beside you looking overly pleased with today's outcome while on the other side Twilight continues to stuff her face with a shit eating grin.
>Occasionally she chuckles with her big stupid mouth open to spray crumbs o your nice dress deliberately.

>>29393083
Where else do you post?

>>29391256
Kinda want to do a thing but I just know I'll post right before someone and fuck their shit up.
Also, am lazy

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>>29395237
Are you retarded?

>>29395424
Do it, slow right now. I'm adding when I get home in 2 or 3 hrs. I bet you have time.

>>29395588
I want to nestle my carrot in that pon's buns

>>29395424
It's one post. You have time. And if you get in late, then just try again.
It's an AiE collab, get involved son.

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Reminder that Anon's media library is considered a Weapon of Mass Discord

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>>29395930
>Next to last panel
>Every time

>>29387310
Fukken shitcurity.

I've been away from the board for some time now. Who's still here and what's good and new?

Mandroid, Bolding and friends still around?

>>29396954
I think Mandroid and 8th are the oldest fags we see regularly.

>>29396977

8th still writing Moonie?

>>29396981
Yeah, for a while there it was the only thing he wrote

I saw Gadget in a thread a while ago. Not AiE though.

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>>29396954
You can't kill that which has no life.

>>29396977
Androids don't age, fgt

>>29397007

Jesus Christ. I thought he got off the ride for good! Next you'll tell me Nether is back.

>>29397022
Nether? Never.

>>29397015

Good to see someone around to guide these lost souls.

>>29397030

I'll never again get the chance to ask:
>Dynamic Entry When?

>>29397015
Yes, but you're a Mandroid not an android. Faggot.

>>29397064
Where do you think the name comes from, homo.

>>29397101
Part man, part droid.
So you still age.

>>29397114

He's just slowly replacing the human parts with more droid parts.

>>29394244
>You brush your suit and frills off, sending the crumbs to the floor. And eye that pleased princess for a particularly long time. Before turning to Flutters with a wide, forced, smile.
"Hey, Fluttershy! I just got a really good idea! It would make our tea party even better!"
>She squees happily.
>"Oh really Anon?! I'm so glad you're enjoying yourself. What's your idea, I'm positive it'll be great."
>Smirk at Sparkle.
"Well Fluttershy, why should we JUST have a tea party, when we could have a PRINCESS tea party!"
>Twilight proceeds so almost choke and looks at you wide eyed.
>"OHhh Anon! Could we!?"
"You bet! Any chance you have anything pink and frilly like this, with a tiara if course, for our best friend and /favorite/ princess here?"

>>29397060
>Dynamic Entry When?
When Nether comes back and we kiss.

crosspostan an idea
>HerdAnon
>Anon in Herdquestria
>A human in a world of magical talking herds of magical ponies
>Instead of each pony having a mind, there are a group of different pony bodies that are collectively one mind per group.
>Each group would typically all have the same colouration shared between constituent bodies
>For example, Big Mac would be a herd of maybe six large red stallions who works several fields at a time when he's farming.
>The number of pony bodies in a herd varies, but having less than four is extremely rare.
>Typically anything less than that would be the result of some recent accident that killed most of a herd's bodies.
>They see a mind only having one body as extremely unusual.
>These herds may be more protective of such a being.
>Unlike the herds who can live through even several ponies within then dying and recover, a human would be actually dead for full on reals.

>>29397590
Enemy Quest on tgchan did it better, their hiveminds have male bodies as well as female ones.

>>29397811
That does not mean we should not write it also though.

Also crosspostan an EVIL thing:

>Be Anon in EVILquestria
>You were summoned here by the EVIL Princess Twilight Sparkle using dark magics.
>She did this because she is EVIL.
>Also because she is EVIL she locked you in one of the towers in her EVIL castle.
>Her EVIL minion Spike sometimes hangs out with you because he's kind of a slacker in the EVIL department.
>Several other departments too.
>But you overlook this because you are polite and he's more tolerable then the rest of the people around here.
>Who are pretty much exclusively EVIL and generally also magical ponies of some kind.
>Every day your EVIL captor Twilight comes up to your room at the top of the tower to make you read her EVIL fanfiction.
>From reading it you have gotten the impression that she's attracted to you.
>All the scenes where the EVIL villain falls in love with the prince she kidnapped.
>And the ones where they then have sex with the EVIL villain's EVIL mentor.
>You try not to let on that you've figured this out.
>You don't feel that way about her.
>You're too much of a faggot.
>You're not fucking a GIRL horse.
>Also being EVIL is kind of very annoying.
>All the EVIL laughter and EVIL plans and locking you in a tower and burning ponies alive and making you burn ponies alive with her and the then making you clean up the mess that doing that makes.
>You do not like those things.
>You dislike those things along with many of the other EVIL things she does.
>Feels bad man.

>>29397963
Anon better give her the EVIL D before she gets tired of him and has him tortured and killed.

>>29398979
Bumping is pony slang for fisting. Fetishists start moving to Ponyville to try him out.

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I'm not dead. I guess. I've been busy. But I made a thing


no hooves

Hell not even pony related


1/2

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>>29399703
2/2

Sorry

>>29400224
Oh my

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>>29397963

10

>>29403786
Poor pony.
She deserves to get fingered by an overweight, pasty, socially awkward human.
Or a shaved chimp.
Either way, she's not that picky.

>>29403786
What is she watching?

>>29404179
Game of Thrones.
She isn't a huge fan, but she's four seasons in and is too invested to quit

crosspostan Anon in Equestria
>>29403940
>Be Anon in Equestria.
>You are a bugbutt and are headed to Ponyville.
>News is that ayylmaos landed there.
>You want to check that shit out.
>Sounds cool as fuck.
>Train is going choo choo around you.
>Passengers are all totally buying your disguise.
>Not in the mercantile sense, you've learned that lesson long ago.
>You are not losing your new "Definately a legit pony 100% real" shirt.
>Replacing the previous one was a major pain in the ass.
>Fucking Queen Cheeselegs and her cuntery giving black folk everywhere a bad name.
>"Would you like anything dear?"
>The stallion with the tea trolley is here.
"Yes please, could I have some tea and a whiteberry muffin?"
>"Of course, that'll be about tree fiddy."
>About this point is when you realised that the tea stallion was a Loch Ness monster.
>But you want your snack so you hoof him four bits and get fifty bytes back as change.
>The Loch Ness monster stallion gives you your order on a tray and then moves along down the train.
>You arrive shortly after you have finished your tea, but still have a bit of muffin left.
>You continue to eat it as you leave the train and look at the town map affixed to the station wall.
>You don't see any signs of alien stuff marked on it, so you decide to go ask somepony if they know about local alien sightings.
>You go to the ticket booth and ask the pony there.
"Excuse me, I've heard there are aliens here, do you know where I could find them?"
>"Sure sweetie, check the town library. I've seen them around there a lot."
"Thanks for the help, bye."
>"It's no problem helping a cute thing like you."
>You go back to the map and figure out how to get to the library.
>Then you leave the station and go to the library.
>It's a huge tree.
>How rare.

>>29366182
>You got roped into going to a social function after work again. Mainly Steve from accounting is getting married so he had to have a bachelor party.
>You’re not even friends with him, but hey, open bar and free food.
>It looks like they didn’t spend much money on the stripper, but you don’t mind.
>You are kind of grossed out watching your 60+ year old boss doing lines of coke off her ass. It definitely confirms that just because two girls are doing something doesn’t make it hot or more interesting.
>So you’re hiding in the corner eating some mediocre hot wings and sipping some lukewarm watery beer when you notice the large cake in the corner star to gyrate.
>Then you see a snout poke its way through. Slowly a tongue snakes out and starts lapping up icing and cake bits.
>The hole gets larger and the head of a horseish type creature pokes out. You make eye contact and it pulls a hoof through the cake and makes a shushing motion to you.
>You had no intention of drawing attention to this.
>The white horse starts eating the cake from the inside out with reckless abandon. No one else seems to notice.
>You get up from your chair and go to the drink table. You take an almost empty ice bucket and start filling it with beer from one of the kegs.
>No one notices.
>Mostly because there are strippers who may also be prostitutes.

>>29404742
>You think about reporting this party to HR, but you see the HR rep getting a blowjob in the corner.
>Gross.
>Why are all of your coworkers so ugly?
>You finish filling the bucket and return to your seat. The horse is done with the cake and is cleaning itself like a very large housecat.
>You place the beer in front of her.
>”Thank you.”
No problem.
>She gives you a concerned look.
>”No exclamations about a talking horse?”
You are the least strange thing at this party.
>She looks out at the debauchery taking place by the employees of Christian Savings and Loan.
>”I suppose.”
I’m Anonymous by the way.
>”Princess Celestia.”
Want to get out of here?
>”Okay, there’s a movie I want to see before I have to go home.”
I could go for that.
>And so you left the party behind and go see “Arrival.” It was okay, she seemed to like it more than you.
>You make tentative plans to hang out again sometime soon.

>>29404742
I approve of this greentext, good sir.

>gyrating cake

kek

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>>29404745
The start of a glorious friendship

>>29404820
>>29404829
I'm just going through the one shots I asked for.
I want to do them all before the thread ends.
I have time.

>>29404837
I'm the guy who posted the list of prompts.

This is perfectly okay with me. I am amused.

Just keep doing what you're doing, man.

Mornin

>>29405624
Evenin

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>>29405707
>>29405624

Milton in Equestria

>>29406831
His stapler too?

>>29397141
>Twilight's eyes widen as she clues on to your plan and she begins to back up as you edge closer to the increasingly fearful mare.
>"No... No! No-no-no-no!
"Yes, Twilight. Join me, and together we can rule this tea party as pretty princesses."
>"I'LL NEVER JOIN YOU!"
>She flies up to the top of the nearby wardrobe. There's barely enough room for her to fit as it almost hits the roof but she huddles deeply into the corner.
>You rise to your feet and smile at her as she realises the grievous error she just made.
>You're tall, you can reach, and she has just cornered herself.
>"Oh, that's right. Sorry Fluttershy, but Anonymous and I have to leave. I almost forgot about other plans we had and we wouldn't want to be late to two meetings in the same day," Twilight lies.
>"I understand. It was wonderful having you two over though, I'll see you next week."
>Fluttershy smiles opens the door for you two.
>Finally seeing the way out, you leap out of the dress and dart madly out the door and into freedom.
>You take in a deep breath and feel the warmth of the sun blanket you gently.
>"Quit being dramatic," Twilight whispers as she gives your shin a light kick.
"I don't want to hear that from someone who lied to a friend to get out of a dress."
>"Not so loud," she harshly hisses, "We're still right in front of Flutter's house."
"Whatever," you reply dismissively as you wander off.
>"So, what are your plans for the day?"
"I think... I think I'd like to ruin someone's day.
>"So, the usual?" the mare mutters.
"What was that?"
>"Nothing... So, any idea who?"
"Worried it might be you, huh?"
>Twilight doesn't answer, instead she looks away and munches on a cake she must have taken before you left Shy's.
"Well, it's not. I've heard there's a travelling show mare in town."
>"Oh, sweet Celestia. Tell me she's not visiting again," Twi' groans.
"Fresh meat," you state as you rub your hands together eagerly.

Anyone still have that gif of Dash freaking out at the vacuum? Need it for reasons

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>>29364561
What are some stories where anon isn't a complete useless loser and actually does cool shit?

>>29407845
mary sue anons aren't welcome here

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>>29407706
I have no clue if there's multiple such gifs, and I didn't even look at this one beyond the thumbnail, so it could be way off.

>>29408081
Das it mane
Thanks

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>>29408051
>mary sue

I'm just talking about a story where anon isn't a clueless retard who can't even tell if he's being hit on.

>>29408577
Any character who isn't a pitiful retarded wheelchair-bound cripple, deaf, mute, blind, with an IQ of 55 or below, who is capable of doing and/or perceiving anything whatsoever, is a Mary Sue. And there's nothing /mlp/ hates more than Mary Sue.

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>>29407845
Not a story, but 'Don Juan Anon' was pretty based.

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>>29408893
The fuck is that?

>>29404837
>I want to do them all before the thread ends.
You have given me a goal in the interest of fucking with you.
Ye have been warned.

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>>29409799
>He doesn't know about the rga threads
:^)

Horse pussy.

>>29409799
I gonna fuck that anon.

>>29411162
Get in line.

>>29410026
moar

>>29409999
I'm only going to do the ones posted so far, but if you want to fuck with me go ahead.
I don't mind.
We could use some funny posts around here.

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>>29409999
>9999

>>29409999
Praise it.

>>29412637
>flute rock

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>>29414065
u no u luv it

>>29414065
>flute rock
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWubhw8SoBE

Does anybody have that program that an anon posted here that separates lengthy greens into 2000 character blobs that you can actually post?
I need it

>The Fault in our Cutie Marks

>"So we're trying to help find her special talent."
>"I'll do anything to get my cutie mark."
>"Anything eh? Well I might have something. Why don't you three go get some lunch, I'll have Gabby back to you in... 20 minutes."
>------10 minutes later-----
>"Oh yeah!"
>"I don't think I can do that...."
>"Try it anyway."
>*muffled chirping*
>"BEAK! BEAK! BEAK! Watch the beak!"
>"Sorry!"
>------20 minutes later-----
>"Wow."
>"Yeah."
>"You're really good at that Anon."
>"Thanks. Not even Pinkie can beat me at Twister."

>Viva Las Pegasus

>"Oh come now Anon, just one little weekend."
>"I don't know Discord. Las Pegasus sounds a bit much for me."
>"Isn't that the point of a guys night? Or weekend."
>"I thought you liked O&O for guys night?"
>"I like to mix it up. Spirit of Chaos, remember?"
>"I dunno..."
>"Fine, I'll pay for your drinks."
>"All weekend?"
>"All weekend."
>"Ok I'll come. But no using magic to win the dance contests."
>"Party pooper."

>Every Little Thing She Does

>You really hope Twilight is about.
>This is something you need her for.
>Stepping up to the castle you knock on the door.
>No answer.
>Why are you knocking the door anyway, you practically live here at the weekend.
>Pushing on the door, it seems stuck.
>Probably a pile of books blocking it.
>You push harder.
>A roaring sound.
>Water.
>A floating sensation.
>Pain as you slam into the street.
>Coughing hard you sit up, you're drenched and 20ft away from the door.
>"What the fuck was that?!"

>>29414709
>P.P.O.V.

>You are disturbed from your lunch by the sound of scratching at the front door.
>"Oh. Gummy. Why are you here? Where's Pinkie?"
>The alligator flips over, revealing something written on his belly.
>"Dear Anon.... yadda yadda won't be able to bake with you later.... friendship emergency...."
>This is an odd way to deliver a message.
>You could have found this out from the Cakes.
>"P.S. Please give gummy a bath, the ink makes his tummy itchy."
>Right....

>Where the Apple Lies

>Where the hell are they?
>How do four ponies hide on an apple farm?
>An apple farm surrounded by a forest of apple trees....
>Stupid question.
>Wait, there's sounds coming from the barn.
>Why didn't you look there first.
>Jackpot
>"There you are."
>"Oh hey Anon. Granny was just telling us a story about Applejack."
>"That's nice but I've been looking for guys all day."
>All four faces in front of you grow wide eyed.
>You've the sneaking suspicion they just spent the entire day in here.
>Doing no work at all.

>Top Bolt

>Rainbow Falls is such a nice place to visit.
>"Angel Wings! You call that cloud busting?! That cloud barely knew you were there!"
>"Er I, uh...."
>"Anon could fly up and bust clouds faster!"
>What?
>Is someone talking to you?

>>29414722
>To Where and Back Again

>There's changelings here.
>Impersonating your friends.
>They fooled the ponies. But not you.
>The ponies aren't stupid or anything. You've just got those predator instincts.
>And those changelings are gonna be full of regret soon.
>--------Later that night---------
>You wake up in a dark room. Dark except for a single lamp shining in your direction, leaving the rest of the room in shadow.
>Your hive brothers are next to you, you're all tied to chairs.
>The last thing you remember is two tiny eyes shining in the dark.
>A huge shadow. And then a tentacled hoof reaching for you.
>One of your brothers hisses. Looking up you can see the shadowy figure from last night, just behind the lamplight.
>"Where is the Princess?"
>"What are you?"
>"Vere is ze Princess?"
>*hisss*
>"Last chance."
>The shadowy figure steps into the light. It holds up a knife and tests the edge with one of its hoof tentacles.
>You watch transfixed as the knife descends.
>Screeching terror assaults your ears.
>You hiss in agony as the creature scrapes its knife and fork across a plate.
>Creating auditory horror even the Queen herself would baulk at.
>"WE WON'T TELL YOU ANYTHING!"
>It took all your will to shriek out that denial.
>The noise stops.
>"Tough guy eh?"
>The creature crosses the room, it's face an inch from yours.
>"I know how to deal with tough guys."
>One of its hoof tentacles reaches up to its face.
>It begins to poke the white part of its eye while making strange noises.
>It's all you can do to keep from vomiting. You can hear one of your hive brothers failing on that.
>"OK! WE'LL TALK!"
>"Groovy."

We now return to our regularly scheduled program. http://pastebin.com/LsRTPhwb

>>29392743
It would never work. Each of those threads combined, with all of their regulars, would flood the thread every time someone tried to post something. There would be a FlutterRape green, an RGRE green after that, Batponies or something, another RGRE green, then the original AiE story. It'd be a mess and we'd go through threads like nothing. Imagine bunching all those threads into one blanket AiE general. Adding CYOA's into it would make things even worse and messier.

>>29415511

You mean how it originally was when /mlp/ first started? When we had 1-2 aie threads a day instead of one a week.

>>29415577
troof

>>29415577
This. It was fucking glorious.

>>29415577
I don't mean to be a neigh-sayer, I just don't think it would work with current /mlp/ and the current bulk of generals we have would fit into a single thread.
That said, it would be pretty cool to see it happen.
Who wants to play envoy to each AiE-esque general, inviting them to at least try a merge?

>>29415577
>>29416285
It was like that sure and that's what lead to the splits in the first place.
It was impossible to do CYOAs properly, people would butch and whine endlessly about any "flavour of the month" green themes.

There's a reason we are this way. And as shitty as it might seem, it's better this way.

>>29416762
Probably just tell us to fuck off. Worth a shot I guess.

>>29416835
Guy, it's not better like this. We did have CYOAs. And it was fine. Flavor of the month would come and go.

Plus even combined we wouldn't reach those old numbers, so it would be way toned down. A lot of those other threads are slower or as slow as us. It would be way more enjoyable.

>>29416866
We had small CYOAs, even then it was rare. For a reason.
"Flavour of the month" was never a bad thing, it was treated as such though. People would bitch about constantly seeing the same shit and it's all you'd see.

Nobody wants to rejoin for a reason.

>A lot of ponys have a very.. different color of what's new and different in the ways of romance.
>Rough fucking is fairly standard
>Kissing, though, is very different. Very confusing.

>>29416905
That doesn't even make sense. Why would people bitch at "the same shit"? What same shit.
If anything writefags get more views, and eat it up, leading them to post more and not drop stories.

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>>29411162
Anon is for hugs not for >rape you sick fuck.

>>29417300
>Implying listen to her moan like a wet bitch while you do so

>>29414746
>To Where and Back Again
Ace/10

>>29392682
>>29392743
>>29415511
>>29415577
>>29415785
>>29416285
>>29416762
>>29416835
>>29416837
>>29416866
>>29416905
>>29417290
Gaibois, vote on it.

http://www.strawpoll.me/12280499

>>29417290
>What same shit.
He's talking about when people constantly write the flavour of the month. people bitched about that.
Read the posts properly next time.

>>29417409
>He's
nigga i know youre samefaggin
>flavour of the month
you brit'd your own bong

anyway, yeah people bitched about that, but people actually want to see their flavor get more green. a faster and more populated thread would do that
green is green, and none of the generals have much going on, having someone post a story they arent into and just not reading it is a small price to pay for more content, and i think most people would make that trade

and again, even if we got some of the generals back here it wouldnt be THAT crowded or fast. no ones going to bitch
besides you

>>29417440
https://gyazo.com/e7ce772b309d267ac1f0319cd10ee3e9
There isn't just one person who speaks English the right and well good way, cunt.

That being said, I agree with you. Looks like you've bamboozled yourself, kid. It looks like it's just one guy saying no. >>29417378
Besides there's no argument for not merging. People will bitch? We've got bitching now.

We could use the green and those splinters need more people to avoid dying constantly.

>>29417336
Wait. How could I miss something like this?

>>29417471
>https://gyazo.com/e7ce772b309d267ac1f0319cd10ee3e9
>inb4 I've need a lot of shops in my day, you can tell by the pixels.

>>29417471
>There isn't just one homosexual who sucks Wieners the right and well good way, cunt.
ftfy

>>29417471
>We've got bitching now.
kek true, and really that's the other half of it, we're on 4chins. There will always be bitching, so who cares.

So, I say we let the poll build a bit to make sure, we got 60 posters gotta wait for more than 4 votes.
Maybe stick it in the next OP, in about 2 weeks.
And if we vote for, brainstorm a way to get this moving. Spamming the generals? A well written explanation of the idea and why it could be beneficial to all? A draft of the new OP (with other generals shit included)?

>>29417471
>It looks like it's just one guy saying no.
he could just be gay
>no (also, im gay)

crosspostan like the rest of you fags should be doing.
>Be Johnny Bravo in Equestria.
>You were wooing a sweet sweet momma by showing her how you could lift a stature of a horse.
>She got all freaky and screamed about magic.
>You honestly believed the only magic around there was how smokin' hot she was.
>You were wrong.
>The statue broke while you were holding it.
>You guess they didn't use good materials.
>The thing just fell apart.
>And then you found out that that hot hot women weren't the only magical thing around.
>You were pulled into a weird trippy hole in the world thing and ended up here.
>Some town full of magic pony people.
>"Whoa daddy, look at that sweet guy over there."
>"Excuse me sir, can I have a minute?"
>You turn to whoever's speaking.
>There's a cream furred winged pony with an orange mane.
"What is it, little pony thing?"
>"Are you one of Celestia's angels? Because you are smokin' hot."
>Also Anon was there.

>>29418469
>Anon in the background reading the newspaper on his porch.
"The shit I put up with."

>>29417471
>>29417572
>>29417582
tl;dr version: Leave people to their own autism and fuck off.

It's actually two guys with at least half a brain to understand that bringing assorted generals and whatnot under one AiE roof, especially forcefully with the help of local dimwitted mods, will do no good to anyone. Similar threads will eventually coalesce on their own or mutate into something different, adding variety and creating new content.

Besides, some of the "splinter" threads either have evolved past their AiE beginnings, are evolving right now, or about to evolve. TiM is a good example, as it is about to undergo a transition from being based around Anon, who brings with him the knowledge and technology of his world, to being based around technology, technological progress and it's aftermath in general.

>>29418325
Hells yeah I want steel slinky.

>>29419482
>tl;dr version: youre a salty faggot

>>29413646

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>>29420747
All these newfags and their contentless bumps, someone ought to call the ponice

>>29421135
woop woop

>>29419892
Salty about what dipshit?
It's not me who's whining about muh AiE, muh greens and muh writefags, who fucked off to other threads because they wanted something different.
By the looks of it you are the one being salty.
Oh and people will still walk away from your AiE, even if you enforce their return there.

>>29421843
>saltier than the Dead Sea atm
Relax nigga, you got your free (you)s

>Day meet the family in Equestria.

>Be Anon.
>You work for that Bookhorse, researching magic and whatnot. It's a pretty sweet gig, but today it's your day off.
>And you're bored.
>Dash is off training on a mountain or some shit, less oxygen.
>You told her to just fly higher...here. Stupid Bluefast.
>Tea isn't really tickling your fancy, so Rararr and Flutters are out of the question.
>Pinkie is trying to figure out how to bake a cake to the ceiling of Sugarcube Corner, for whatever reason, best not disturb her. She gets a little MORE Ponk than normal when ADVANCED BAKING.
>And fuck apples. You're so fucking sick of apples.

>You could spend time with your background pony friends, but fuck that. Let's go annoy the boss.


>Picking up some speed you bust down the door to the Treebrary.
"HEYYYYYYYYYY Tinker Bell!! I know it's my day off, but I missssed you sooo muchhh."
>Standing there looking at you wide eyed are the librarian herself and a white stallion with a blue mane.
"Holy crap Twilight! Are you actually talking to a male that isn't me? This is a huge day for you."
>She adopts a cute scowl and scrunches her nose, while this stranger stallion's face stays surprised.
>"Anon! I'm a guy too!"
>Oh, Spike is here too.
"Hell yeah you are!"
>You throw out a fist for him to pound and then make your way over to the two unicorns watching you. Slinging your arm over his shoulder you continue.
>"So Twiggles, who is is handsome stallion you're chatting up? There a reason why you gave me the day off? Hmmmmm?"
>The white pony blushes hard, and looks away slightly and Twi just rolls her eyes.
>"This is my BROTHER. Anonymous, Shining. Shining, Anonymous."
"Oh, THE Shining Armor heard a lot about you."
>You lean on him further.
"Or should I say Captainn?"

>>29423090
>"W-well I'm no longer Captain of the Canterlot Guard anymore. I had to relieve my position when I moved to the Crystal Empire."
"Damn really? Why give up that gig?"
>"I guess you can say a promotion? I'm actually the prince of the Empire. I look over it wi-"
>"with me."
>Out of the kitchen comes a pink alicorn. DAMN. Instantly eyeing your arm draped over her prince.
>Twilight lets out a worn sigh.
>"Cadance meet my research partner and WELL BEHAVED friend, Anonymous. Anonymous, this is Princess Mi Amore Cadenza."
>One finger pistol later...
"Nice to meet you Princess."
>"A-hem, yes a pleasure. As my /husband/ was saying..."
>Magic gently guides your wrist off of Shining and your entire arm follows suit.
>Cadance slowly trots right between you and your former arm rest.
>".../we/ look over the Crystal Empire and all the crystal ponies. A definite promotion for my Shinyyy."
>A smile from her, a blush from him, and a smirk from you.
>Oh such a smirk.
>Of course ruining your plotting...you guessed it...Sparkle.
>Fucking Sparkle.
>She magics--fucking OP shit--your tie and yanks it towards the stairs.
>"ANON, I u-uh need you to look over these notes from that experiment! I forgot to show you, it's really important!"
"What exp-" hurkkKKk
>"That one that had to sit and catalyze all night, duhh. Now come ON."
>Hardly able to breath you follow Kidnapper Sparkle into her room and she not so gently shuts the door.


>All scrunched up and mad she glares at you.
>"WHAT are you doing?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about Twi."
>"Oh! Don't give me that. You're trying to make Cadance jealous!! WHY?! Y-you don't even like..stallions."
"And how do you know that?"
>Twilight's eyes go wide and a light blush creeps over her face.
>"I-i mean I...but I know you've been on dates..with mares."
>You lean in close.

>>29423105
"I could go both ways."
>blush_intensifies.png
>"D-do you?
>shiteating_grin.jpg
"You into that Twi?"
>She gasps and punches you--surprisingly hard--in the shoulder.
>You begin to laugh your ass off and rub your shoulder like a bitch.
>Twilight pouts.
>"That wasn't funny Anonymous!"
"It /was/ pretty funny Twilight."
>An eye roll worthy of a princess.
>"Just leave Cadance alone. Ok?"
"Isn't Princess My Amore Costanza the Princess of Love?"
>"That she is."
"So shouldn't she be into that?"
>She groans.
>"One. You're a pervert. And two. You know it's not that kind of love. So, pleaseeeee stop messing with them."

Continue?

>>29423090
>Dash is off training on a mountain or some shit, less oxygen.
>You told her to just fly higher...here. Stupid Bluefast.
To which Rainbow should replyalong the lines of
>Consider if I collapse from lack of oxygen on top of a mountain. I take a bit of a spill and that's that.
>Now consider I collapse from lack of oxygen at fifty thousand feet above the ground. It's a long drop and a sudden stop for me then, isn't it?

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>>29423110
no one ever claimed Anon was bright

>>29423137
Anon is at his best when he is a little dumb.

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>>29423107
Yes please.

>>29423110
And may she reappear again in the future.

>Wake up.
>Morning fuck.
>Force self out of bed.
>Fuck in the shower.
>Make breakfast.
>Fuck on the table.
>Forget work, Estrus is a statutory holiday. Twilight said so.
>Fuck on the couch.
>Go to the market for groceries and books, too closely escorted by Twilight.
>Dragged into a dark alley.
>Fuck in the alley.
>Come home.
>Cum. Hehe.
>Make lunch.
>Fuck on the kitchen counter.
>Tired from all the fucking.
>Brief escape to the park.
>Can't, door's locked.
>Fuck against the door.
>Alternate between reading, cuddling, fucking, or all three at once.
>Make dinner.
>Fuck on the floor.
>Time for bed.
>Raunchy, dirty fucking in the bed.
>Cuddling to sleep.
>Wake up, already fucking.
>...At this point, the list is just covered in fluids.

>>29423107
I like that Twilight.

>>29423107
Continue. Also is Anon a boy or a girl.

Do you think ponies get on their version of the internet and talk about getting mauled by a great ape?

>>29423881
Very unlikely.

>>29423107
>Continue?
Don't you fucking dare stop now!

>>29423881
>Ape been raped by mare
Very lewd.

>>29423239
>>29423899
Kek, kinda surprised that anyone likes this. I've been here since the beginning and other than some random thread bumpers (never longer than one short post) I've never really tried anything.
Just thought I might, cause green is green?

I'd appreciate if you guys let me know what you like about it and what you don't so far, again very new to this.

Also, I have no fucking idea where to take this story lel, so idea would be fine too.

>>29423558
Actual question, why do you like this Twilight? Similar to above, trying to figure out what's good and what's bad.

>>29423569
Boy-just fucking around cause everyone is so easy to fuck with, got pulled by his tie. But if you guys want it to be FemAnon, I can give that a shot. Let me know.

>>29423090
>In a parallax dimension where things look slightly off the orange southpony kicks the tree at a slight angle
>Two apples fall, but instead of hitting the cart fall perfectly into your hands
>Like cupping a pair of firm breasts
>Mmmm, breasts
"Hey Applejack."
>"Anonymous? Shouldn't you be working?"
"Twilight gave me the day off."
>The farm pony snorts
>"Must be nice."
"Says the one who gets to take all winter off."
>"Cept when saving the world or solving some friendship problem which seems to happen about once a week."
>She must never know.
"I blame Celestia. Anyways, despite having the day off I'm super bored with nothing better to do than talk to you. Kind of sad realizing how much my life relied on having internet access."
>"Gee, thanks. Why don't ya try gettin a hobby? I bet you'd be a hit at the chicken coop."
"Huh?"
>"What with all your practice."
"How do you even know that phrase?"
>"Spike."
>You need to have a talk about the man code with him.
>Again.
>"But as enthrallin as your company is I'mma have to cut it short. Some of us have work to do."
"Fair enough. You were last on my list anyway. Suppose I'll just go into work anyway."
>"Ya know her brother and sister-in-law are visitin today, right?"
"Oh. So that's why she teleported me to Cloudsdale when I came in this morning. Stupid horse, it was a good thing Rainbow was there to catch me."
>"She doesn't do her best thinking when in a panic.
>You smile an evily wicked smile
>"I know that look. Anonymous, let her have her day with her family."
"If you know me so well then you know the time of reason has passed."
>"I do, but isn't family important? Even for you?"
"I'm alone in a horseworld, and she threw me into the sky."
>"I'll let Big Mac have some time off."
"Sold."
>"But I want no mention about crossed swords anywhere on this farm ya hear?"
"Scouts honor."
>Bitches don't know bout your O&O campaign

>>29424167
Aperape is no laughing matter.

>>29424387
I cannot into ideas, but here a broad one to consider: Anon continues to bother Cadance/Shining after learning she's the princess of love.
The 'how' and 'why' are best left to you.

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>>29424387
>Anon or FemAnon?
I prefer to keep it ambiguous if I can. Pantsuits are still a thing.

>>29418325
I've had pic related on my table for months and it always made me think of this. Tripcode because I'm a faggot who likes to have credit for his ideas.

>"Hey kid, want a Superbowl snack?" Yeah this is two days late. Whatever.
"I already have some."
>"Don't you want more?"
"I'll just get some more from the snack table when I run out. Pinkie made plenty for this hoofball party."
>"It's all pastries, though. I can get you something else."
"Like what?"
>"I'm gonna go make nachos."
"You can cook?"
>"Like a pro! Come on, you'll get some while it's still gooey."
"Okay, this I have to see. The Griffons probably won already with all those touchdowns they scored."
>"Don't count the Neightriots out. Anyway, it's a little known fact that 'Peppercorn' is my middle name."
"This is the fifth different middle name you've told me."
>"This is the real one, though. Rainbow Peppercorn Dash. I'm a master of spices and seasonings."
"You're making this up."
>"No I'm not! There's a pepper mill hidden in my cutie mark! Look really close, it's small and kinda hard to see."
"I don't see it."
>"You're still not looking close enough."
"I'm not seeing it. I think you're lying again."
>"Guy whose face is between the wall and my butt says what."
"Wha- Mrgph! Get off!"
>"That's exactly what I'm trying to do! Use your tongue a little."
"No you ar- Nghff!"
>"It's a euphemism, you'll understand when you're olderrrrrr... Hi Twilight, when did you get here?"
>"I was looking for a new bottle of Bebsi, and this is what I find instead? Rainbow Dash, you have problems."

OHH BOY

>>29425028
U ok?

>>29425847
None of us are okay.

>>29426735
I'm aight.

>>29424923
Crystal Bebsi?

Dump incoming!

PiE seems like it's going to start posting threads monthly on the 14th of each month.

There's also this video of their thread mascot OC being silly. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sgOHirG7Hw&feature=youtu.be

Here's some content they made recently in their revival thread. I'm going link to multi-post stories, then repost some oneshots in the posts after this one.


Repost from the WW1 thread of Rainbow Dash ending up in the British trenches because she agreed to help Twilight with an experiment. This story got mixed reception from the thread:
>>29253018

PiE's OC mascot has a lazy day at home with Anon. Previously posted in AiE so here's the pastebin:
http://pastebin.com/XM1QsqyA

Earth pony OC with wing envy gets the Christmas gift she always wanted, causing hijinks with Anon:
>>29286375

Anonymous pone attends Trump's inauguration without knowing what's going on. Trump supporters give her a free hat and snacks, sparking a silly quest for cotton candy:
>>29305175

Where would ponies vacation on Earth?:
>>29331115

A couple of background ponies try to get fast food, end up in a gay bar. Later becomes a discussion about whether ponies can tell humans apart or can only differentiate between skin tones:
>>29345354

Applejack makes a Christmas dinner for the troops in 1914:
>>29351794

Celestia meets Joseph Stalin, and is understandably nervous about it:
>>29382727

Up next, 8 new oneshots that I liked.

>writefag_is_kill is finally kill

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Pony combat techniques:

>>29258242
>You will never be aggressively snuggled by a fluffy little pegasus.

>Celestia is doing a goodwill tour on Earth
>See her on the street while walking with your friends
>You do have friends, right?
>All right, fine, you were walking with your now-obsolete pony tulpa and point out Celestia when you see her
"Oh hey, that's Celestia!"
"Dang bruh, so it is," quips your tulpa
>"GET DOWN, PRINCESS!"
>Wait wat
>A blue and yellow ball of fluff rockets out of nowhere and knocks you into the space where your tulpa was, breaking the illusion
>The fluffball is clinging to your chest as you stand there
>It appears to have wings and an orange mane
>It also reminds you of a teddy bear you used to have
>"Wonderbolts Secret Service: put that finger down! Nobody boops the princess on my watch!"
>And it can talk in a kind of scratchy voice
>7/10 would reciprocate hug
>It sort of is hugging you, so you do
>"He's counter-cuddling! Somepony help me!"

>>29255659
I think you mean that she IS a nice milf mare. She had some screen time in season 5 and approaches Harshwhinny levels of cougar-ness.

>An older-looking yellow pegasus mare trots up and sighs at the spectacle
>"Oh, for goodness' sake, Spitfire. Is this what they teach at the academy nowadays?"
>"Moooom, you're embarrassing me!"
>She pries your hugger out of your grasp
>"You're embarrassing yourself. Now, watch how it's REALLY done."
>Oldhorse leaps at you and grabs on
>Up is down
>Left is right
>You are on the ground without even knowing how you got there and HOT DAMN are you comfortable
>The words "Was it good for you, too?" ring out in your ears as you lose consciousness

>Spitfire stares in awe and horror of this display of Wai-Fu
>The human assailant is on the ground napping peacefully, murmuring about hugs
>Her mom punches her in the shoulder and trots away
>"Put that one in the record-book, kiddo. I've still got it."

Addressing the issues of nude horses in a clothed society:


Time for an autistic headcanon

Around the late 20th century, when ponies were first introduced to humans, they realized they were by comparison very naked, and appeared uncouth to humans. At first they would try to hide their genitals with their tail, but when some humans refused to sit in the same spot they sat, it became obvious that a solution was needed.
By the Earth year 1989, a fashion trend that can be attributed to the equestrian fashion designer "Rarity" seemed to solve the problem. Panties, the color of the pony's natural coat color did well to hide the genitals from passing glances. Further refinements included coating the outside of the panties with minky fur fabric, which camouflaged it well against the fur coat of the pony. And for the elite who could afford it, actual real equestrian fur on the outside that made the panties almost invisible against the natural coat.
It had seemed that Rarity's original design had started an arms race in the industry, with the apparent goal of trying to make ponies as featureless as possible.
The fashion trend was such a success, that it even found its way into relative popularity on the Equestrian side of the portal, with supporters claiming that it enhanced sexual relations with their partner, as it made it much more personal and private when the clothing was removed and the genitals were finally revealed.
Nevertheless, nudist support groups arguing against the clothing began to pop up across both worlds, and it's still somewhat common to see the exposed genetalia of a passing pony down the street on earth.
Though the stigma against naked Equestrians has long since faded, it appears this fashion trend is here to stay.

More pony combat techniques:

>>29258498
>>29261441

>Ponies fight exclusively with physical affection (alternate timelines don't count)
>Humans can't bring themselves to use actual warfare on them because they're too adorable
>Also what if they started fighting back with magic and shit?
>Thanks but no thanks

>Be Private Anonymous
>Be in the off-duty bar with an observer from the Equestrian Royal Guard, swapping "war" stories
>"I dunno, Anon. My worst? You really want to hear the worst thing that's happened to me?"
"Try me. I bet mine are worse."
>The guard sighs and takes a swig of his soft drink (complete with swirly straw and little umbrella)
>"All right, this one's just a couple of months after the Crystal Empire reappeared. YakYakistan is just to the north of that and they're a real twitchy bunch. They'll declare war on literally anything, so naturally an entire city appearing in the NCTZ-"
>Goddamn, even alternate dimensions have dumb military acronyms
"Sorry, NCTZ?"
>"No Cuddling or you get Timeout Zone. Anyway, that set them off. They'd already raided the outskirts of the city a few times before my company got there, and that was just them probing the defenses. When they sent their actual invasion force it was severely outnumbered. That doesn't mean it was easy, though. They fight dirty."
>Yaks are two or three times as large as ponies, just going off of what you remember about their Earth analogues
"They sound tough."
>"Yeah. You just can't bring yourself to get close to them. Fighting the Yaks stinks like nothing else. We got them in the end, though."
"How'd you do it?"
>"Clothes pins."
"What?"
>"We put some on our noses so we couldn't smell them."
>...Wait a minute
"Are you saying that the Yaks actually stink?"
>"Yeah. 40% of their body weight is dreadlocks, and it's too cold up there to bathe. So, what's your worst?"
"Probably the time that my buddy Carl lost his leg."
>The guard recoils in disgust
"Don't worry! They got a new one for him."
>"Oh, okay."

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Someone asked "what would filly Celestia do on Earth?" This short oneshot says she'd start a racket:

>Is adorable
>Set up a roadside petting zoo where she is both the zookeeper and animal
>Free petting for the first thirty seconds, then charges by the minute
>Anyone who tries to BAD TOUCH is sent to time out
>Come on, she's only sixty years old
>Let her have her innocence
>Meanwhile, KidAnon down the street sells refreshing lemonade to anyone who cuddled too vigorously for their own good

'MURICA

>Be young George WashingtAnon
>You have been left home whilst your parents are out for various errands
>Mistress Applejack is to care for you in the meantime
>She is an odd woman
>Her accent is odd
>She insists on contracting the word "you" and "all" when addressing a group, for example
>Her garb, and lack thereof, is odd
>Naught but a bizarrely misshapen tricorn
>Her body is even odder still
>In simple terms, she is an orange pony with oversized facial features and a depiction of three apples on either side of her hips
>Were that not strange enough, she just gave you nap time while the sun is still three full hands-widths above the horizon
>Total bullshit
>Disregard the constabulary, you're playing outside
>You open the bedroom door with caution
>Mistress Applejack is resting a room away with her back to the door
>You exit the house in the direction opposite to her
>Be outside
>Still feeling rebellious
>Retrieve axe
>Approach cherry tree on property
>You swing the axe with all of your youthful might
>THWACK!
>Oh fuck, that was louder than expected
>Already there's the sound of hoofbeats inside your home
>THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!
>The hoofbeats approach
>You keep thwacking it like a lonely teen on prom night
>"George, what in the blazes-?!"
>THWACK!
>Crackle, thump
>Rice Crispies
>You have felled the cherry tree
>"Consarnit, George WashingtAnon! Your pappy's gonna be right mad with you when he gets home!"
"Not if I tell him you did it."
>Mistress Applejack scowls and stares you in the eye
>She approaches until you are nose-to-nose with her
>"That there's a lie. I don't care much for liars."
>Many children of your generation die before adulthood
>You gulp and silently swear not to become one of them
"Okay, I'll tell him I did it."
>"Good. Now, would you care to tell me WHY?"
"'Cause cherries are stupid?"
>She smiles and ruffles your hair with a hoof
>"I knew you listened to me! Midget apples like those oughta get put out of their misery."

>>29427436
and with the application of passive magic, I'm assuming the clothing would be damn near indistinguishable from their natural coats?
It would be a convenient way to explain away the barbie effect on the show

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"What if ponies feel like covering their cutie mark makes their talent less obvious, so they exaggerate their talent?":

>>29354474
>Pony's special talent is presenting their butt
>Can't present butt because clothes
>Can't take off clothes in public because that's lewd
>Even crazier than usual

I just want some pones acting crazy because they feel like their talent isn't obvious.


>Be Anon on erf
>Visit Rarity to see if she finished tailoring your suit
>Gotta shitpost in style
>Knock on the door to her private boutique
>"Just a moment, please! I'm making clothes!"
>This moment takes about five minutes
>A cascade of outfits tumble from the door as it suddenly opens
"Damn. This makes my hall closet look tidy."
>Rarity's voice is buried somewhere inside the pile
>"Anon, is that you? Please, pardon the mess. I made a lot of clothes."
>You start digging to rescue her from the avalanche
"I noticed. Just coming to check on my order."
>"Ah, yes, the clothes you wanted me to make, because I'm good at making clothes! They should be in here somewhere."
>Finally unearth Rarara
>She's wearing at least four layers of mismatched outfits
"Jesus Christ, forget my clothes. I feel like I walked into an episode of 'Hoarders.' What happened to you?"
>Rarity shivers
>Her expression doesn't change as she sheds a single tear
>"Isn't it obvious? I made clothes. Then I wore them, but they cover up my cutie mark which is about making clothes so I had to make more clothes to show off that I'm good at making clothes and-"
>You cut her off as she starts hyperventilating
"Whoa, whoa, why not just stitch the mark onto the outside of the clothes?"
>Your recommendation sends her into full 'Marshmallow Melodrama' mode
>She sobs and shouts
>"IT'S JUST NOT THE SA-HA-HAAAAME!"

What if a pony saw a guy doing this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6APZSfwcx4


>"Mind if I watch, mister?"
"Sure! I'm playing chess against the best opponent I've ever had, if I don't say so. You're in for a show!"
>The old man gets up and scoots over to the other side of the table
"Oh, don't flatter me, please! I've never won against you."
>He returns to the other side of the table
"Ah yes, but I've never beaten you, either!"
>"If you don't mind, I'd also like to play against you."
>The old man almost chuckles, but then he sees the pony's cutie mark
>A rook, knight, bishop, and king, all in a row
>His lips stretch back over his false teeth in a devilish grin
"Prepare to get whipped, whippersnapper."
>The pony almost starts getting into the empty seat, but the old man gets up
>He scoots into the empty seat again
"Well hey, now! You can't just abandon a perfectly good match! Not unless you forfeit, that is..."
>One more time, he shuffles into his previous chair
"Don't you go makin' assumptions! I'll play through with you. Erm... sit tight, young'n. I'm feeling generous about how long you get to prepare."
>"Wouldn't miss this match for anything, Geri."
>The old man wonders for a moment how the pony knew his name without introducing himself
>He concludes that it must be friendship magic or something like that
>It's that or he's senile, and there's no way that someone this good at chess could be senile


Yes, that was a cheap shot to the feels. I'm not sorry.

Someone posted the "Shoot the demon!" scene from Assassin's Creed 2 and said that it was how people would react to seeing ponies. This was posted not much later


>Be Anonomisi da Cuatrechana or some fake Italian shit like that
>Be in Venice during the Renaissance
>Spaghetti Stromboli pepperoni mama mia, et cetera
>Fluttershy da Equestria flies by
"Buon giorno, Fluttershy! How is your day, today?"
>"Hello Anon! I'm going to visit Michelangelo. He wants to use my wings as reference for one of his paintings!"
"Molto bene! I hope he can capture even half of your natural beauty!"
>"Oh, you charmer! I'd stay and chat, but he's waiting for me. Ciao!"
>You part ways with Fluttershy da Equestria
>Just then, you see it
"DEMON! UP IN THE SKY!"
>It flies on leathery wings and has sharp teeth
>Just like the ones in the paintings that the artists have been making up recently which have in no way influenced the public conception of what a demon should look like
>You throw a tomato at it
>The town guards see it as well and also throw tomatoes at it
>Everyone throws tomatoes and shouts about the demon
>The red demon falls to the street
>"I'm not a demon, you racist piles of guano!"
>It shakes off the layer of tomato goop, revealing a pony with sharp teeth and bat wings who is not red
>That red part was just the tomatoes
>Nevermind, it was just the bat pony fruit vendor on his way to work
>You throw another tomato just to be sure
>Italy has lots of tomatoes
>This one splats against the confirmed bat pony who only looks sort of like a demon
>"Dammit, Anon. I'm never selling you a mango again."

And that's all the PiE I could be bothered to post. There's some other stuff I didn't post, and not all of the stuff I left out was shitposts or bumps.

Here's another link to the archived thread if you want to browse it yourself. >>29250078

Horse pussy.

>>29427478
>>29427419
I appreciate you.