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Princess Applejack
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You are currently reading a thread in /mlp/ - My Little Pony

Thread replies: 508
Thread images: 12
Happy anniversary, Partner!

Two years ago, a funny image about an alicorned AJ spawned a series of jokes about Princess Applejack trying to fix a mismanaged Equestria for the better by humorously interacting with the other, quite lazy, princesses. From there, the stories connected, they became something much bigger, and now we're two years into one long, solid, wild ride of a story.

The whole thing was set in motion by this gem:


>So, wait, why am Ah' a princess again?

>Because you seem to be the only goddamn one of those ponies who gets that a Princess need to do actual work regarding maintenance of the kingdom. You know how much city planning or trade negotiations Twilight or Luna have done? Fucking nothing. Everyone is obsessed with the world ending threats they think I should fight, but the minute I point out the free health care I have to work to maintain everyone goes quiet. And don't even get me started on Cadence, who can't even manage a basic meeting with the Equestrian Games representative. Fucking annoying. Go do actual princess stuff, because apparently everyone else got the pamphlets mixed up or something and thinks "Princess" means "Beat cop."


Are you feeling creative? Try your hand at writing a story! Don't be afraid, we take all kinds.

If you're more artistically inclined give a drawing or sketch a shot. Every art friend over these last two years has made their mark, why not you?

If that isn't your style either, writers always need feedback. So tell us what you liked - and what you didn't - to help us improve, and keep improving. We can take it.

If you are unsure about anything, do not be afraid to ask. We will gladly bring you up-to-date or explain anything you feel is unclear. Two years is a long time, and we love talking about all of it.

To Two magical years of the princess who didn't need no magic, and to glorious thread 119!

You made every day special, /pa/ls.
1 https://archive.today/f0oQ3
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30 https://archive.today/0rb3f .5 https://archive.today/Y5NYc
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50 https://archive.today/kh6Md
51 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20740272/
52 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20855918/
53 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20948915/
54 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21045744/
55 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21159397/
56 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21278151/
57 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21405993/
58 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21510114/
59. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21619890/
60. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21715642/
61. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21858107/
62. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21945390/
63. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22007346/
64. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22086019/
65. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22152409/
66. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22223659/
67. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22274618/
68. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22337892/
69. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22395817/
70. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22458614/
71. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22571091/
72. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22651546/
73. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22736626/
74. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22828938/
75. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22908818/
76. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22963669/
77. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23030892/
78. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23102420/
79. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23200765/
80. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23282365/
81. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23369224/
82. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23443675/
83. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23520799/
84. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23581564/
85. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23656624/
86. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23764354/
87. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23878745/
88. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23973977/
89. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24059974/
90. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24160401/
91. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24245691/
92. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24333335/
93. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24423649/
94. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24476469/
95. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24523227/
96. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24574722/
97. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24626415/
98. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24690967/
99. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24759374/
100. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24814923/
101. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24894930/
102. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24958159/
103. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25046878/
104. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25132701/
105. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25222467/
106. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25301100
107. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25385359
108 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25460161
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115 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25893943
116 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25941085
117 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26008453
118 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26066966

Here is full archive of ALL the stories in condensed, easy-to-read form with all chatter in-between removed.
Check out the pastebin here:

Curious what happened last time, or just wanna know what happens during an active thread?
Check out the previous thread here:https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26066966
You are completely new and have no idea what is going on? There is a wikia with an overview of all characters, a complete timeline, previous thread recaps and explanation of the various concepts used in these stories!
Check out the wiki here:http://princess-aj.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Applejack_Wiki

Confused about when a character first showed up or who they are? Want to know when an arc started?
Check out character notes and details here :

We have begun working on a big project to fix up old stories and make this crazy world more coherent and accessible to new readers who don't like the thread format.
Check out the 'Princess Applejack: Re-Cut Edition' here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15cv3kqExr_vOM0JkUh4dqnvVKxJ5Z-P1KHwE8Z7aG0k/edit?usp=sharing
And finally, while most of the thread is very much clop free, we have a pastebin in case you're feeling a little more naughty with your writing, find it here. http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessAJAfterDark please upload any like it to a pastebin so they can be added out of thread.
And above all else, enjoy your stay at /paj/!
First for Happy Anniversary /pa/!
This is bob. He is my favorite pony.
>3 seconds apart
nth for Sexy Hooves because Screwy,12 and Fancy haven't been seen in a min.
That's nice goat poster.
Don't need to be first to give out a HAPPY ANNIVERSARY YOU CRAZY BASTARDS!

Fancy was seen last thread dealing with LD.

Maybe next year!
>This going on for another year.

...oh god...
We can end it at anytime. We already penned most of the end games in passing, we would just leave whatever story threads we have open unfinished or insanely rushed.
Just thinking about how much crazy shit we got up to last year actually makes me hype, and you can't deny we didn't end it right.

Even if we did almost abort that arc...
>we almost aborted the best fucking thing to happen for AJ since Cordy
god damn I love you all, but you're so fucking stupid sometimes.
Now now, be fair. The ONLY time we talked about that, it was waayyyy early in it, when AJ hadn't done anything but moped about Everfree Castle and cried a bit. It didn't really seem to be going anywhere and it was taking a bit of time, so we just wondered if maybe we should wrap it up instead of just having her mope about and cry.

Sure, we know NOW that this was completely foolish, and we almost stopped what would turn out to be the hypest shit since Chitania's Arc, and we now know it was totally justified and needed to develop her, but at this was before she ever kicked the tree. It's understandable we were feeling a little down and just wanted it fixed.

Zero complaints happened when it got going.
Hey, we got it right with the Spike's plot to kill changeling queens story.
Pinkie Preview

>Applejack and Rainbow Dash ride some sea turtles.
>Rarity and I make bets on the crabs.
>Fluttershy might be a stealth pervert.
>Twilight is a gropey drunk.
>Spike makes "dragon glass" from sand.
>Berry Punch would have liked that hug.
>The Crusaders figure out how somepony can get a smoking pipe as a cutie mark.
>inflatable fanservice!
Very much this.

Though for me, personally, I stopped being worried the minute the guy was like 'No worries, I'll slap an NC and keep going if you guys want to just eject now, because AJ is worth it'.

Honestly, because that told me it was about AJ, and if nothing else I wanted to see where it was going.
Chitty's arc. Twilight released her Two threads of random stomping and one miscued solar flare later, she is smashing Canterlot and then Shiny beat her less than a full thread later. Back then we could as a group hone in on one story and beat it in until it was done. We also had shorter parts per story. Just being nostalgic not criticizing what we do now for clarification.
>>inflatable fanservice!



Fetish general is that way!
>Which way?
"Just pick a direction, you'll hit one about two steps outside this thread"
CE crew has a water bed
I can pull something for this that isn't bullshit balloon fetish.
They are on a beach anon, just strap some floaties to 42.
pick one and only one
Ehhh, that one was different, it was more like the 77 flashback thing, where it took several threads to do simply because there was only one guy doing it.

It's one of the reasons we survived while other writethreads failed, we normally don't have to wait on anyone to get shit going. This particular case, we made an exception because... holy fucking shit.
Just because she isn't good in social situations doesn't mean she can't.....Okay I'll shut up.
Speaking of one writer. Any conformation on if we got Sombra-anon back from Liam, or is his arc staying aborted?
agreed, 42 is not for sexual.
if he's not coming back SOMEONE has to make Sombra notaghost, the hook is there, but it's never been explored.
>agreed, 42 is not for sexual.
It was legit adorable seeing if Shining wanted her room.

At this point, Caddy's gonna let her after Shiny just out of pity.
I was actually thinking a giant inflatable waterslide, or various products that requires blowing up at the time, like a balloon dog or inflatable raft.
Oh you know those anons, fanservice just has to be sexual. Even though we have done innocent fanservice a ton.
>At this point, Caddy's gonna let her after Shiny just out of pity.

And then she's just gonna be like "Awww, but I wanted to go after you..."
It was a joke. I was actually going to make a follow up joke when you brought it up, but >>26125443 beat me to it.

That is literally the EXACT joke I was going to make. And it was taken from me... I need revenge.
Two fucking years...

'Mini 32'
-Mini 77-

>Ok, so we are clear, no more stabby stabby, got it?

-You will regret the loss of my skills when the beasts come for us.-

>...clarification for that other clarification, no more stabby stabby any of US!

-Ah, very good.-

"I am relieved."

'Glad to see we're all one big happy family here, but I should note we're down one for what 50 offered. He said three of us, not two.'

>Oh, right, be right back.

Trot trot trot.

'Are you sure you can-?'


'...why would she need to-?'



-Is she?-

'She isn't!'



-She is.-


~Release me! I am not going! You can't make me!~

'Aw come on, seriously!?'

>Any three changelings, these are my three.



'That isn't an answer!'

~Damn your loopholes!~

"Your siblings are loud for creatures so small."

-Oh yes, it's one of the reasons I live in a shack away from the castle.-

"A sound move."

'This is bull of the highest order!'

>Sorry but that's how the cookie crumbles, now we need to get going.

-Fine, step onto my boat.-


-Yes, did you expect for us to go in Morlock territory by hoof? That is a death sentence, they know their land better than we do, I've lost many hunters who foolishly thought they could stalk the beast in their lair. We go by my scouting ship down the river or we don't go at all.-

>Fine then, if we're gonna go full down memory lane, might as well go nautical too.

~...fiery being, can you answer a question?~

"Certainly, I am very helpful."

~Did she eat any mushrooms?~

"Many, why?"

>Ok, just gotta-Oh of COURSE the boat is tiny...ok, just gotta...balance this juuuuust ri-


>Damn it I...am standing in like plot-high water. Ok, you guys sail, I'll just like walk-swim next to you.

~We're gonna die.~

>...Ah suddenly feel very old for some reason...
Its okay trips AJ, you're still in your 20s and will forever have at least 1000 years over Celestia and Luna and given comic lore is disbarred at least a Century on Chrysalis based on Chitty's future shock and backstory of the queens.
Lucky sevens tell the truth. You need to get some life back in your life. Go out clubbing or something get nuts!
>AJ at a rave

For some reason all I see is Hank Hill at a party...
And thus began the most epic revenge fantasy adventure there ever was. And it was all because... A joke was stolen away. Coming this summer, A Joke Forgotten, they took his laughs, he took their lives. Rated R
Sleuth-Anon here, I... could do it, maybe... I mean he wrote down pretty much all the steps he was going to do in that file I saw. I copied it for reasons, potential death of S-Anon in some shape or form being one of them.

I rather not in the hopes that he'd come back, but... well, Its beginning to look like he's not coming back.
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and we celebrate the anniversary here at /pa/!

"I've been meaning to ask, what's /pa/ anyway?"

>It's the thread that we've been in for 2 whole years now!

"...I have more questions."

>No more questions!
DT puts her hoof on Cadence's shoulder and shakes her head.

'Let's just introduce the guest already.'

>Right, now for our main guest...APPLEJACK!


>Whew time sure flies. doesn't it?

[Seriously. Ah, feel like it was only yesterday that-]

>That's all the time we have folks!

[Pinkie, do you really have to cut it, so short? This is the anniversary of-]



AJ wakes up.

[...some things never change.]
Princess of what indeed... Princess of what indeed...
Happy anniversary ya'll!
>that feel when been here since the beginning
Who knew it'd turn into this?

Who knew we'd still be here?

We're apples to the cooore...~
We're /pa/ls and so much mooooore~
Somebody has to... oh yeah and happy anniversary and all that
Princess of Apples
>remembering all those "princess of what" comments
Ohhhh~ myyyyy~

>Tia? Got a question.

"Oh? Well, I suppose I have time for a quick one, lots of work to do after all, what did you need?"

>Why ain't we doin' anything with yer' old castle?

"Come again? Whatever do you mean?"

>Ah' mean we got this huge, fully functional, ready ta' use castle just sittin' there out in the middle of the woods, and nobody is usin' it.

"Well, there is the obvious reasons we don't want ponies out there."

>Why, cause then someone might actually be lookin' after the most powerful source o' magic in the world, instead of just waitin'? Ya' know how much easier everythin' would've been when the vines hit iffin' we had heard from someone that, hey, the dang tree is lookin' a little weak here lately, might wanna go check it out?

"Well, uh..."

>Ah' mean, what if there hadn't been killer vines? We never would'a known the tree was sick until, well, shoot, it might'a died! Would it really be too much ta' station a dang pegasus out there or something? Help ponies who get lost in Everfree, maybe?

"Secrecy is just so important..."

>Uh huh. This is cause you stashed somethin' embaressin' in there and can't find it, ain't it?

"Embarrassing, terribly dangerous and can possibly warp a pony to madness while granting them amazing power, you know, stuff like that..."

>...Dang it, Celestia.

"It was a different time!"

>Twi? Ah'm noticin' some weird expenses here.


>It's just kinda worryin' me.


>So... Ah' just figured Ah'd tell you about it so you could handle it.



"Why do I never get yelled at!? I deliberately added those in just so you'd say it to me too!"

>Oh... so they're real?

"No, they're fake."

>So then there ain't a problem.

"Well, no, but-"

>Ya' know who else makes stuff up for attention?


>Ah' was gonna say Applebloom, actually.

"Spike does it too."

>Stop bein' an Applebloom, Twilight.

"Yell at meeee!"
We doin' this? I'm down for this.

>Luna, Ah' got some questions here about yer' current budget.

"We assure thee that every one of our expenditures is necessary."

>Most of 'em really, really ain't, but Ah'm just pointin' out a particular one here. Where, exactly, were you durin' the wedding invasion, and why did it result in us bein' down about six hundred thousand bits?



"..We.. uh... we may have learned what a casino was at that time."


"The bright lights were so enticing, and it was all about the night life, which thou could understand why we would take a shine to..."

>Yer' payin' that back.




>...It's a treasure havin' her back from the moon.

"*In the distance* WE HEARD THAAAAaaaaattttt..."
>"The bright lights were so enticing"

What're you, a moth?
No, but Changelings are part moth. So you can distract some of the dumber ones with bright lights.
I'm down!

>Tia? Got a question.

"Can it wait? I have quite a bit of work I need to get done."

>Is the work devourin' cake?

"...So! What did you need?"

>That's what Ah' thought. Ah' was just wonderin', do we not have magic schools outside of Canterlot?


>Cause everywhere Ah' go, apparently iffin' ya' show even some decent magic, ya' get shipped up here. No matter where yer' from, Manehatten, the boonies, fricken everywhere, if ya' got magic ya' come here.

"Well, this is the best school for it..."

>So, no.

"Not to my caliber, no?"

>Ya' do realize the inherent downside of makin' everyone with strong magic live and grow up in one town that also has the most powerful pony bein' on the planet livin' there, right?

"...You want some cake? I will share my cake."

>Ya' congregated all the strongest, stuffiest magic ponies and literally put them on a pedestal above their peers.

"...Two cakes?"

>Canterlot is filled with snobby rich jerks who only care about who they know, and it's all yer' fault.

"I just don't like filing transfer paperwork..."
I missed the fuck outta that, good one man
I missed the fuck outta all this.

Now, if only I could think about something to add in...

>Dash? Ah' need ta' talk ta' ya' about somethin'.

"Is it the scale of how awesome I am? Because it's all of it. All of the scales, for all of the awesome."

>More about how ya' ain't paid any property or land taxes in... ever.

"Why would I?"

>...because those things are needed for a stable economy and prevent land ownership from spiralin' out of control until everyone is at war over small patches of dirt and nobody has anywhere ta' live?

"But I live on a cloud."

>Same principal.

"Not really."

>Ya' can block out the sky, you know.

"...Point. But we don't have to pay taxes."

>Yes, you do.

"Show me the law."



>...Did Celestia really not ever put one of those in?

"Right? Sweet gig, huh! And hey, you've got wings now! Welcome to the tax free club!"

>Ah' gotta fix this.

"Don't you ruin this for us!"
Happy anniversary you crazy apple loving fucks.


"Oh, oh my... the look. Just... just let me sit down first, grant me that much."



>Ya'll seriously made Cherry Jubilee royalty.


>Ya' made. CHERRY. JUBILEE. Royalty. Why. For what possible reason, for what POSSIBLE REASON, could you have for makin' a gaddang CHERRY FARMER royalty!?

"...I um..."


"...I needed someone to fill out the reserved seats at the Equestrian games, otherwise it would've been symmetrically unappealing."


"Well I'm sorry for caring about symmetry!"
We're certainly celebrating in a hell of a way.
Yeppp, celebrating with some Apple Classics.

Das how you do an anniversary.


"GAH! Why does thou torment us with thine presence!?"

>Because ya' friggen signed off on makin' the Order of the Fillyhood an official religion!

"...Is that bad? We thought we were doing paperwork for once! They are a legitimate religion."


"...Then what are they?"


"For what?"






And that's why Dash was Wonderbolt captain.

Had to make up for that shit somehow.

>You're just screwing with me now, aren't you?

"Mwa? Never. But I cannot say the same for you, as you are clearly about to make my life hell."

>Just... why.

"Why did I make you a princess? I ask myself that more with every passing day."

>Why, oh dear Apples in the orchard, why.

"Did you capitalize that? Because in that case, you've either made me very sad or feeling like I need to call the guard."

>Why would you ever, EVER, need real gold for your freakin' chariot? A chariot to pull you that you don't even need! You can fly!

"Oh. Regalia?"

>Gold is a crappy metal! It needs to be replaced all the dang time!

"I kind of have a motif going."


"Fine, I'll move down to faux gold, like a pauper."


"Shut up."

>Our budget has been droppin' for years, and it's all yer' fault-


>You can't backflip out the window from the truth!

Pffffff holy shit.
I laughed but I felt terrible afterwards.56 makes so much more sense now.
I can see her so vividly. Just backflipping and backflipping.





>Pinkie Ah' gotta-




>...Pinkie, we gotta start regulating cannon ownership, somebody can get hurt!

"I use my party cannon completely safely, thank you!'

>It ain't about you, it's about the fellas who don't use it safely.

"Why should I be regulated just cause some dummys use the party cannon wrong!? That's not fair to me!"

>Ah' know, but it's about safety-

"You can take my party cannon from my cold! Dead! Hooves!"


"My right to fire off confetti shall not be infringed!"
Pffft, of course the amish earth pony who's sister is attracted to her cousin is against gun control. Way to play to the stereotype, Pinkie!

I just came off /co/ and I'm legit worried someone will take that seriously.
I understand that fear.

Shit, this anniversary has got me trying to mentally take note of all the shit we did... Sunset happened this year, her whole thing I mean, the Arm Break and migration happened this year, 41's reveal, Shining and 18's date arc, Spitfire became the CE airforce captain, Fleetfoot was fired/redeemed... a whole lot of shit went down.
And then that's really only 1/3 the stuff that went down. Probably 1/5 when you account every character.
Oh god, just trying to get a handle on everything that happened is insane.

Fucking 7 has gone through so many hospital stays and near death experiences and fights alone. That's ONE side character.


“Yes? Is something the matter, dear?”


“…Not that I don’t immensely enjoy your company whenever you visit, princess, but, uh… I just figured you’d want to actually, you know… talk, instead of sit there quivering and looking like you’ve seen a-“

>Yer’ chalkboard… it keeps winkin’ at me…

“Oh… oh! Yes, it does do that sometimes I’ve found out! Yup… loves to wink that chalkboard does. Devil knows why.”

>An’… an’ ya’ got spiders ziggzaggin’ over yer’ face…

“Oh, do I? They do it so often I just learned to ignore them, the little critters.”


“Princess…? Prin-”


“And down she goes. Again. I wonder why…?”

~Hasshka sereckt taaasgh?~

“Don’t be silly, it’s not you. She must be stressed, the poor thing.”
Speaking of, can an archiver find me the story that introduced Cheerilee as our demonically possessed teacher?
Search for Cheeirlee.


"I wasn't crying."

>Of course not.

"For I am the Queen of all changelings, the most powerful of my kind. My magic is greater than any, my mind so skilled as to outwit your most brilliant, my ruthlessness unrivaled in all the foes you have faced."

>Oh yeah.

"There is no chance, not even the faintest glimmer of a hope of a chance, that I, QUEEN CHRYSALIS, would ever cry under any circumstances, no matter how emotionally gripping the sixth installment of the Heart Of The Mind franchise proved to be."

>Uh huh.

"No acting, no matter how devastatingly gripping, no matter how well nuanced and well paced and just so very genuine, could ever resister to me as more than a tiny, ineffectual, blip."


"Now, if you don't mind, I would like to continue watching."

>Go right ahead.

"...without you in the room."

>Why? What am Ah' gonna see, except great cinema?




>Done and done.
I missed Romance-Movie loving Chryssy so much...
These anniversary snippets are reminding of a lot I miss...
DEFINITELY making a note to do more Movie Nights after the anniversary, I've missed it a bit.
I'm totally feeling _____DdD____ short when the camps collide.

>Alright, what'cha got for me this time?

"It's a gun."

>No kiddin'. Wow. A gun. Ain't never seen one of that before!

"It's a gun that shoots apples."

>...Ah'll take fifty.
I am glad we kept evolving and didn't just stick to the exact same gags for a solid year, that would... well, not gonna lie, that would put us at Johnny Test levels of shit if we couldn't ever move on from the basics of the jokes and ran them into the ground "Season" after season.

That said, they've rested long enough that bringing them back for another round of fun wouldn't be retreading old ground, we could do something new with them with all we built up.

>Ya’ see this?


>Good. What is it?

“It’s a cup of coffee, duh.”

>Excellent. Now, when y’all see this? Y’all avoid it. Ya’ hear me? Go in the total opposite direction.

“Tch, why? You saying I’m scared of a cup of a coffee? Because I will drink the shit out of-”

>NO! That is what y’all will NOT do!

“Okay, I see what you’re saying, but consider this: what if I do?”


“Hey, what’re you reaching f-OH FUCK NOT THE BISCUIT TIN POPPER THING!”

>Go near coffee an’ Ah’ pop it.


>Ah’ve got several. Cabinets full. Ya’ gonna stay away from coffee?


>Alright, good….






To be clear, zero ill feelings about that, I knew from the start that the beginning was going to be very slow, and I knew my own lack of speed and short burst writing was going to come back to haunt me, but I also had to concede that if we didn't see every step of her thought process it was going to seem wildly OOC and out of nowhere.

I get 100 percent why they were hoping to get off that ride while we were doing the slow climb up, and hell, maybe I would have too if I had been with them, who knows? And it certainly sucked waiting on me.

Chitty/Dnd/Whatever anon did it better with the Chitty arc, lots of freedom to do what they wanted, just asked for very basic things at the start of the arc, and then he handled the finale only. If I hadn't had a very specific goal I wanted, I would have done it like that.



>This is too funny.

"FINE! Since you want to pop it anywa-"


"GAH!... Fuck! I was saying, since you wanted to pop it anywa-"






>...Now, what did Ah' just say about stayin' away from-NONONONO!


"...Well now."



"How cute."


"I see, digging into my basic fears of rupturing in my chitin in order to scare me? Quite the dark little thing, aren't you. Seems to have backfired, though. I have a tendency to, shall we say, react a certain way when pushed."

>Dang it.

"Oh, dang it indeed. Applejack?"


"Fair warning, I am afraid of those things because they remind me of certain terrible sounds. Now, it is physically impossible for you to make those sounds, but let me ask you this... do you want to spend the rest of your life afraid of the sound a dress makes as it rips?"


"Because quite simply, here is how I would do it, and never have it traced back to me."

"...And then Spike would likely shoot himself out of frustration, and I would think it funny the whole time, while I danced on the embers that was once your life. That sound clear?"


"Good. Because the coffee is wearing off and... and... where the fuck am I?"


"I fucking heard you the first time! Little bitch..."

>...hate her so much...
>Coffee Chrysalis

Oh god, now THAT one I missed.
Knew I wasn't the only one.
Oh hell yeah.

MASSIVE DnD paper campaign, that's fucking amazing.


"Deny the effectiveness, I dare you!"

>Look, Ah'm not denyin' that giant superpowered armor is effective.

"Ah ha!"

>It's just... have ya' seen the bill?

"It's not so bad."

>Move yer' hoof a little to the left.

"...Oh! I see! I have apparently blocked out at least three numbers more than my current estimate."


"How about that."

>How about that.


'No worries, Shiny! I know a guy who will trade all of them for conditioner! My hair is going to GLOW!'


>Ya'd think the snowstorms would be the thing that wreck the city...
Haaaad to push it, didn't you AJ? Just had to pop the can. Could have just been like "Well, she's agreed to it, guess I don't need to pop the can!"

Then you popped the can.

You monster.
The temptation is strong for all of us buddy, don't pretend you would be able to hold out. We are all but men in the end... And women too, but let's not pretend there's a lot of them on this site
Jesus, 2 years, and you never took a day off...

How did you crazy assholes do it?
A healthy population of anons, a supportive but non-hugboxy atmosphere, and an interesting world.

And loooooooooooooads of Autism.
A decent amount of writers who can slip in and out without knowing thanks to lack of namefaggotry, a crazy world with some place to build on, and anons who will love your work if it's great, call it shit if it's shit, and help you get better if you want to.

And free time, I guess.

>Spike? Ah' got some concerns here about yer' recent actions.

"Oh? Well, I don't want to do anything out of line, so, shoot!"

>Shootin' is the problem, actually.


>Says here ya' opened fire on an office building.

"Illegal drug smuggling ring!"

>And a post office.

"Illegal black market sugar sales... the regular kind, that's not a drug. Yeah, I was weirded out too."

>And a zoo.

"Illegal animal smuggling, Fluttershy will thank me."

>And a coffee shop.

"...they spelled my name wrong."

>Did you actually get warrants for any of that?

"Pfft, Aj, there's only one warrant I need, and it's this nice piece of metal right here. I call her the universal key."

>...maybe ya' need some time away from that thing-



>... Ah' feel like we made poor life choices with him...

Coulda been worse

Coulda given him a katana

>No, Spike, I am not teleporting you behind someone.

"But then how will they know it wasn't personal!?"
That would probably have ended way better.

He wouldn't even have tried against Chitania.
PJ disagrees.

And it worked out pretty well in NC version.
Autism, cancer, cuckholding, shitposting and waifufagging.

And a devotion to best pone, WHETHER WE LIKE IT OR NOT
You know, I think we were too hard on that scene.

Not in the 'it should be canon' sense, but it was alright for an action scene. Obviously a little wanky for PJ and not really good in the sense of providing tension, but it was a decently written action scene. It could have been fixed, though I understand why he didn't feel like it.
What scene are you talking about, anon? Dunno why but this sounds foreign as hell to me...
The moments of kindness when I didn't think I deserved it.
The people who enjoyed my stuff enough to laugh or make a positive comment to it.
The desire to please folks.
...and sometimes just pure whimsy.
Thread 16, I think. I can't link from where I am I'm afraid, as the archive seems broken, but it was when Chitty was heading to Canterlot, and PJ came down and wrecked her six ways from sunday, just tore her ass up without getting a scratch.

It got shot down almost instantly because holy shit.
That sounds ten ways to Sunday hilarious and fits PJ's root at least. Obviously NC, yeah, but still. Maybe once PJ ascends to Queen-tier she'll challenge Chitty to a duel and be eternal rivals.
>this general has been around for two years
>I still remember the first one
I don't frequent this general but you guys just reminded me how long I've wasted on this shithole.
Sadly, didn't come out very funny.

Search for "The giant advanced on Canterlot"

>Tia? Got a question.

"And I have a secret chineighs technique, passed down from ancient master to ancient master! In it, I hold the power to destroy not just this world, but all worlds. Do you dare to face my power, my wrath? Speak, Applejack, while you have a jaw to do so, or walk away, and keep it another day!"

>Hm? Oh, Ah'm just askin' how terrible your security detail is that a kid with a camera took a picture of you and you got abducted by vines without anyone noticin'. Ah'm worried ya' might get caught unawares and hurt, and Ah' don't want that.

"...Now I feel like a dick."

>Well, ya' should.

"Uh... sorry?"

>You should be, iffin' you get killed cause ya' were a ninny who wandered off and nobody was around ta' save yer' giant ass, who's gonna help me with the paperwork-


>Ah' regret nothin'.
Wow, Celly's racist.
I miss it, too, although it's probably for the better that it was eventually left behind considering how crazy cold she got concerning the treatment of her hive and others. Although brainstorming new ways to introduce again will be fun.

This world never gets boring. Like, literally. Even when I find I can't participate in something, there's always an area to write for, whether canon, OOCO, NC, there's plenty of venues to write and plenty of ideas to pen.
There is that, we set up... what, four different things for AJ to fight yet?
...Your trips are scary appropriate.

>...Well, if nothin' else, ya' looked great.


>Notice mah past tense? Looked, as in, before. Ya' looked great. Sad ta' say, lookin' like it's all done come off now.


>Ya' know, some might call me drownin' you fer' accidentally tradin' food for a giant supply of eyelash curlers, like ya' needed more than one. But me?


>...This here feels just right.
Now, that, I'm actually glad she developed from. I like that Cadence is bettering herself.

She just hates everybody.
So she's an equal-opportunity racist.

>Fluttershy? About this, uh... new bill ya' passed.

"Oh! Has it been approved already? Thank you so much!"

>...Uh, no, ain't done that yet.

"Oh! Sorry for jumping. When does it get approved?"

>Don't mean ta' burst yer' bubble or nothin', but... we can't give life imprisonment for someone who accidentally steps on bunnies.

"...I'm sorry, I didn't know we were secretly monsters. Thank you for telling me, you heartless evil pony."

>Fluttershy stop.

Gotta spread it out far and wide.
You know, it just doesn't get much weirder than realizing you've been reading the same story for two years and it's been updating every day...

Most webcomics can't pull off once a week.
And it doesn't get much weirder realizing again that this is basically one long story, the longest on /mlp/, and it's still going strong...
AIE still has us beat in story count, not that that's surprising, but what sets it apart is that there's no AIE that even comes close to having this level of continuity between writers.

We joke about ____ is anon and all that, but lets face it, we can't match literal anon after anon.

And that's okay, cause we got something better.

>There she is...

She felt strange, as she walked up to that balcony. The one so familiar, so very much the same as it has always been yet had changed so often over the years. Renovations caused by accidents accidental, and not so accidental. This room had been destroyed a dozen times over every which way from mistakes with explosives to hooves the size of trains punching clean through them.

This balcony, on the side of Canterlot Castle, held much history for her. For her... and the pony standing proudly atop it. The regal white mare of power through which all of that had been shared, and experienced with. She held power, in every since of the word. Politically, culturally, and oh so much so in magic. She was, without question, one of the mightiest beings alive on the planet.

>Hey, Tia? Got a question.

Which is why it never ceased to be funny to watch her jump.

"Really? Can I get no peace anywhere, not even here?"

>Bah, ya' know you can't escape me.

"I have long since given up any hope of escape, thank you."

>Finally, somethin' smart comin' out of you!

"Oh, just get it over with. What was your question, I'm already limbering up for a jump."

>...Why am Ah' a princess again?

There it was, that special twinkling smile that only the mare who had lived a millennia could give. That one have smirk, one half expression that quite simply said "Really?"

"Do we have to go over this again?"

>Things... changed here recently. Things got... worse, for all of us, and maybe this whole thing was a mistake.

"Well, the countless disasters and fights probably had something to do with that mentality."

>Ah' dunno, doesn't feel like anything's fixed yet. Feels like we should be done by now, don't it?

"Oh, Applejack... it's never done. Even if you solved every problem in Equestria, there would be one tomorrow all the same."

>...Ah' just want it to be fixed already.


"Oh, Applejack, did you think I did not? Personally, I would kill to be able to retire already, wouldn't you?"

From the look on her face, she was one hundred percent serious, no matter what the smile said.

>Yeah... guess Ah' do. But...


>...But there's still so much to fix.

"Oh... there is."

Her horn glowed, softly, warmly, as bright as a matronly star. Invisible fingers of magic reached out over the world, that great big world, and it conjured things. Images, and ones Applejack knew quite well.

Images of the destruction in the robots wake, images of the broken city laid waste by a monster, of a party rolled out of control, a city fallen from the sky, of beasts that wore familiar faces with strange growths all over them consuming the world, of a war nearly brought in the town square, of a chase that left wreckage across the city, of a battle in a hidden bunker, and a brutal fight between titans that reached the sky. Of a collapsing building, and of riots in the streets. Images filled with shocking things, feelings she had thought buried brought back to the surface, of things that made her remember that her life had never been the same since she had dawned her wings.

Then, they were all gone.

>...Ain't this the point where you show me all the good stuff?

"No, it isn't."

Gently, she laid her hoof upon the younger horn.

"This is where you remember that."

Her eyes grew heavy, and closed. Within the back of her lids, she focused, she thought, she fought past every single one of the images of destruction and rage and hate and chaos that threatened to take over. She fought, and she fought, and she fought.

She saw it.

Of times spent in machines most wondrous, of dances so silly and full of joy, of games atop a miracle of magic that kept her in the sky, of feeling wind beneath her wings, of feeling magic in her head, and... them.


Her friends through it all. Through thick and thin. Through every disaster, through every struggle, through every fight and war and battle, her friends to pick her up, to keep her going. Her friends that charged with her as she ran to fix Equestria, and would not let her be alone. The friends who had broken down walls, literally, to come to her aide in the work.

She had seen them all advance, become more. Smarter, a better leader, a wonderful entertainer, a more caring soul, and a generosity returned to full bloom. She had her friends... and so many more along the ways.

Old enemies turned allies in darkest times that nonetheless proved that anything can be done when they stand as one. Be it chaos upon the world, or the world consumed by another, they could fight it.

She had fought long, and hard, and it had taken much from her.

But she had not done it alone.

She saw them, every one, not just her six friends so dear, but dozens upon dozens upon dozens, all with their own stories, their own goals, none of them the basic that they were on the surface. So many stories, all of them...

"Because of you."

Her eyes opened to the original, the first she had spoken to in her new life, the one she had given every single ill of Equestria and beyond... and the one who had been with her since the start, trying to fix it.

She had never left her, not once. No matter how much she seemed to run away or be chased free, she always came back. She was always there.

>...Guess Ah've been takin' you for granted, haven't I?

"We all make mistakes."

She felt power in her wings, power she didn't know if had ever really been there or if she had missed it.

She felt magic in her horn, the thing she had neglected all this time. She had hated it, if she was honest, but perhaps a lot of things she hated hadn't been quite what she thought they were.

"Applejack... though I'm not sure how much it means from me... I'm happy I made you a princess, every day."

She almost cursed, she was so ashamed. She actually felt like crying.

"Things can get better, if we try."

There was a tingle in her hoof. Like sparks running up the orange fur, something downright magical if she was being honest. It was powerful, it was wonderful, it was strange and she didn't understand it at all, but she understood it.

She felt it, in that tingle, the feeling of chitin that had been there before. Not long ago, not long at all, it had been there... and the feeling it had left behind remained.

There was doubt still, she felt it. She had not chased away all demons, had not become resolved and unblinking in the face of any danger, but she had changed.

She had changed in this long, strange journey, and it was enough to make her sure of one thing.

>Yeah... they can. We can fix it...

The world opened up to her, as if they had finally opened wide. She saw more than just the land she knew, she saw more than where she had been. There was so much left out there that she need to go to, to understand at last.

She was sure.

>We can fix it all.

"So, tell me... why are you a princess, again?"

She smiled. She honestly, truly, tears in her eyes, smiled.

>Who cares, Ah' got fixin' to do.

"That, is the right answer."

They looked out, together. The pair that had been there from the start, seen it all as it had passed them by, been tried and tried again as they sought to fix their world.

It was not yet fixed. It would be, in time. For they would not stop until it was.

~Just as soon as you wake up.~

They shared one last, understanding look to the other, and smiled as the world faded away. They left behind only an illusion, and nothing more.

>Ah'm not goin' easy on you with the questions just cause of this, you know.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

Princess Applejack was an anomaly, one some may wonder if should exist at all.

But to them, and so many others, there was never any question. It was worth it, every day.

And it was magical.
>Thought you forgot the OOCO
>Instead it's a wonderful way to get them together and still make sense.

Now that is an anniversary story.
Awww, fuck, I'm feeling it.

This is great.
FINALLY, they acknowledge that these two have been through SO MUCH SHIT together.

Ready to start Princess AJ year 3.
Oh hey, this is the first time Luna got to do an anniversary appearance, neat!

It's one of those things you just know, man.
He's got a point that it hasn't really been explored before now. But hey, what better time than in the Anniversary Story?
You know what I love most about these stories? It's always those two. Always the very first two it started with...

Happy anniversary.
It's my hope that when the last /pa/ story comes, whatever it may be, I hope it's just those two talking. That's all I want.
Would be the perfect bookend if she went

>Wait, why am Ah' a princess again?
"Because I needed someone to do the paperwork."

The troll numbers would be off the charts
I wouldn't mind something simple like that. Chill, easygoing, nice and calm, yeah... would be great.
One more? I know we did the anniversary thing, but I gotta get one more in.

>Rar? Ah' gotta question.

"Oh, of course darling! Ask away!"

>...Wow, that's weird to hear. But anyway, how do ya' manage ta' make money in Ponyville? Nobody wears cloths.



"...I um... I also uh... designed... collars and leashes."

>Say no more.

"NO! Wait! Dog collars! I was just embarrassed because-"

>Ain't gotta tell me nothin'.

"No! Really! It's not what you're thinking!"

>Funny, don't remember implying anything.

"...that doesn't prove anything!"

>Hope they like their collars. Get a lotta use outta them.


'How much do they run?'






'Why are you staring at me, I was just wondering...'






>...Think ya' know a gal.

>Who cares, Ah' got fixin' to do.
Best. Answer. Ever. Go, AJ.
>one more?
I'm going all thread, personally. Whatever anyone else wants to do, go ahead. I can't help but feel nostalgic when I look at the OP.
I'm probably going back to the main story tomorrow, just so we don't stagnate on that and drag it out too long.

Damn straight.
No, you don't get one more. Sorry, last call happened, you have to delete that story, leave 4chan, erase your facebook account and go on a journey of discovery, it's they rule.

Chop chop monkey, tell the wise old man on the side of the road I said hi and I'm not giving his shoes back.
Yeaahh, probably gonna join you. Was fun for a one day thing, but thread 100 was only 19 threads ago, no need to do a whole other one.

>Hey, Tia? Got a question.

"And I have had landmines planted all around me! Do your worst!"

>You did not-




>You actually did put landmines in there!? LANDMINES!?

"Landmines baby! WOO!"

>You know the worst part? This is still dumb, Ah' guess Ah' can just fly-



"That's right! Hanging plastic explosives! TRY ME NOW!"

>Is that stuff just all around you!?



"...Applejack no."




"Applejack, be reasonable, think about what you're doing."

>Mmmmm... yep... thinkin' about it right now.


>I disagree.

"Applejack you put the bowling ball down right this second!"

>Well, iffin' you insist.





>Hah!... Wait... SHIT! Ah' was gonna ask her somethin'!


>You win this round Celestia.
Lucky, I didn't get a chance to and am too tired to story. All I can give is a happy anniversary with you crazy fucks. Maybe tomorrow...
Yep, Happy Anniversary to you and everyone else.
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>Stop bein' an Applebloom, Twilight.

Doubly funny as Applebloom is currently having her problem and state ignored.
Night, /pa/'s, here's to a great year 3.
It's gonna be crazy as fuck, I can already tell.

So nice to see we can still produce a fuckload of stories when the time comes.
And what an anniversary it was... can't wait for the next milestone
'Mini 32'
-Mini 77-
~Mini 50~


~Do you REALLY have whistle that every damn time you pilot this boat!? EVERY! DAMN! TIME!?~


'Really? You've been on this boat with him before?'

~Several times when we were bothering to try and get our operatives in the Pony Kingdoms to stop fighting each other.~

'Sounds maddening.'

~Not as maddening as that damned whistle!~

"I find it catchy, may I join in?"



"Mixed messages."


>Gaaaaasp! Wow, I think I held my breath even longer that time, I'm getting pretty good at this if I do say so myself.

"You missed the loveliest whistling."

'Yes, how about you stay up here and suffer with us?'

-Or join in.-

~Nonsense, our titanic cousin is clearly attempting to pioneer a new form of aquatic ambush in case we're attacked by those damned giant pale monsters!

>Hm? Oh nah, I was just amusing myself, you were doing a whistle?

-Yes, it goes like this...-

'~Oh love damn it!~'
That's fucking adorable. Perfect choice of song you could not have done better.
Good night, thread. And happy late anniversary
Huh...that's weird, I meant for the url to be spoilered. I blame my phone.




"...Spontaneous Apple creation... of course"


I don't remember when I started so I'll just tack it on to the /pa/ anniversary
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and I can cheat because being consistent is for suckers! Now for out main guest...PRINCESS LUNA!!!

"How does thou do?"

>We've sure had a lot of adventures together haven't we?

"More than we'd like."

>There was the cardboard killings, Hunting cardboard Pinkie, Nightmare Rarity, Shadow Derpy, The Dream Eaters, Applejack's shadow. Plus you do more in the dream world than the waking canon world.

"We take offense to that. We do a lot of things...like teaching...sort of. Mahjong. Lots of mahjong...and other important things...okay, we're tired in the day time okay? Both of us know how busy we are during the night. Cut us some slack. Between guarding the night and dealing with paperwork that involved thou, it can be quite draining."

>Thank you.


>Thank you for allowing me to continue my dream show despite the headaches I give.

"Hmph...thou ist just lucky we like thy show."

>Do you really?

"We said we must go. Farewell, annoying pink."
Luna flies away.

>And to all you viewers, thank you for watching. This wouldn't be possible if it weren't for viewers like you. G'NIGHT EVERYPONY!!!
It's been a hell of a ride,and I can't wait to see what comes next
And thus, world hunger gets zoled.. Good job everyone
... is that supposed to be sarcastic? That sounds awesome!
>world hunger is solved
>but apples are the only food available
seems like nutrition is fucked, captain.
Aw, that's a nice companion piece to the anniversary story.
>Are y'all claiming apples ain't all you could ever need in a diet? Why, I ought to buck you to the sky for even insinuating that!
Actually? Funny story, but Apples are weirdly high in natural sugars.

Ponies would be getting diabetes left and right.

If the giant rock monsters could stop dancing on her skull, Applejack would have been very appreciative. She would also be appreciative if the sunlight would stop burning into her.

The rum had caught up to her, it seemed.

>Uggghhh... m-mah head... well, that ain't good.

The turtle she was currently flopped over seemed to disagree, if a turtle could have such an expression.

"Nahhhh, Tank 2 and Tank 3 are pretty chill."

The rainbow maned mare on the other turtle said this, but again, the expression seemed a touch at odds with the words.

>Ya' named them?

"Why not? You saying they don't deserve names? Racist."


"I might still be a little drunk."

>Ugh, same... had the weirdest dang dream last night.

"You feel like moving?"


"Me either... Tank 2? Tank 3? You guys mind shuffling us back to the hatch? We can flop from there."

Applejack couldn't decide if they were agreeing, or if turtles just had trouble turning around and were already pointed towards said hatch, but she wasn't complaining.

>How do ya' think the others are doing?



'ZZZzzzzz... HNK! Ohhhh, what happened?'

[Oh thank goodness, will you PLEASE get off of me?]

'Hn? Rarity?...Wait, this is you?'


'Wow, you are soft.... hee hee, your cutie mark gets all squishy.'


'I'm getting off! I'm getting off... huh.'

[I know, but she hasn't woken up yet-]


'There it is.'

[Fluttershy, just be calm-]


'...No way did you count all of those so fast.'

{OH DEAR! Go away!}

POOF went her magic. Though, sadly, it didn't go as she wished it to.

The roar that sounded was proof of that.


POOF it went again, and again, not what she had wanted.

[Oh, good job. What better way to solve the situation of 'giant crab' then summoning another one when we already have no room?]



The two monsterous crabs, with so little room, did not take long to notice the other. One raised up it's weapons, the other answered.

The meaning was clear.

'Are they gonna-'

Claws mashed in the air, and the battle was on.

'Well, at least they're fighting each other and not us.'



[I'll take that bet, the right one looks rather scrappy.]


~Can I get in on this?~

'No, you have a gambling problem.'



>Hey guys, thanks for comin' ta' find us, not like we could'a drowned or- woah.

"Twenty bits on the left one."

(Dashie knows what's up.)



>...well, at least this vacation isn't boring.

{M-maybe I can make them all go away!}



And sixty other, louder roars, joined the chorus of the room.

>...Looks like we're havin' crab fer' breakfast!

Rarity, you got this one. Come on.


>Wow, you know what? I feel downright pleasant.

"Indeed! What a wonderful, peaceful nights rest."

>Who's up for breakfast-





'Me!? I didn't cook anything! I like this place, I didn't want to burn it down! You did this and are trying to blame it on me, clearly!'

[My cooking is awesome, Thank you! I didn't do this!]

'Prove it!'

[I get stuffed up if I eat rosemary!]

'There isn't any... huh. Well, then Forty Two?'

{Does this have more than three ingredients, total?}

[I'd say.]

{Then no, clearly not me.}

'...We need to buy you a cookbook or something.'

{I go with what works! Clearly, this one was Spitfire!}

(HA HA HA! Does this look like you just have to peel back the plastic and pop it into the oven?)

'Birthdays have become so much easier in the last two minutes.'

(Look, I'm on the road a lot... or at least I used to be... I can't make fancy stuff, just pop it in, get your meal and go! Soooo, clearly... well, I don't want to be the one to say it, but...)

^...Why ya' lookin' at me?^

'No, seriously, why are you looking at her. There is exactly one ingredient not inside that mass, and it is the only one it would otherwise be composed of. Unless you see more marchmalleys than you could possibly eat...'


{That's just stupid.}

(Making a note of that, buuut...)

~...You can't be serious. How? With what!?~

(I mean her, alright!?)


'You idiot, she doesn't eat! She doesn't even use the bathroom!'

(...how does... how does she...)

'She's just-'

=AHAHH!... I did it!=


>Several questions.

=Can I answer after we BATTLE my CREAAATION!... I think he's out of control.=

>...Vacation, yayyyyy


>You shut up.
>Mane-iac trying to cook


Awww, I missed all the fun yesterday. Why'd it have to land on a saturday?
Hey, at least it's still there to read!

Writers like that.
Soon, man... soon.

She's gonna hit that edge.
The moment she realizes she's wearing a leotard, they're all fucked.

>...Ya' remember when we used ta' fight the giant things, not be so unworried about them because four outta five of us could handle it really easy?

"...I... I honestly don't remember."

>Me either. Should we be worried?



It had taken her a whole day, the moon had risin and fallen, but she had made it to six.

Six whole, fully done, forms. Not easy ones, not basic ones, but complicated, very difficult, forms. She had done exactly six, in several hours.

Her eyes felt like they were going to pop right out of her sockets, her head throbbed with pain, her skin felt heavy and cold. But she had done it. Somehow, some way, she had done it. She had pulled it off.

Six slips of paper, all done.

Surely, that deserved a break, didn't it? Surely that meant she could go out and get a shower, get refreshed, get back to looking like the beauty she was? Surely she could take this time to go enjoy a bit of sun, get some luster back into her unsightly coat, maybe even a little swimming.

Hadn't she earned that? Didn't these six long, difficult pieces mean that if nothing else, she deserved a break? It was so tempting, she so deserved it. Just a quick jolt out, and then she could get right back to work...

Maybe just a little fun...

>...in regards to land disputes, the following methods are advised, though not set in stone as every case is different...

This time, the barricade hadn't even moved.
Mad respect.


>...Ah' don't know why Ah' thought that would work...


{Wiggle wiggle, ensnare}

>AH'VE GOT... it just occured ta' me that they are still fightin', and have not stopped at all or even slowed down... because it's seaweed... and seaweed is really weak and can't hold giant crab monsters...


>Please tell me nobody saw that.

"We all saw that, and we're proud that you tried!"

>...T-that made it worse...

"Wait didn't you have Chitani-"












"...I should've brought a gun"
_____Several hours later____


"Oh sweet fuck will you just do something already!"


'She's just been standing there, screaming! MAKE IT STOP!'


[I can hear it! No matter what I do I can HEAR IT!]




"...I've got nothing."
"...So, wait, what about the monster thing you made?"

>Oh, uh... Ah' just made a buncha rocks come together and made it talk with ventriloquism.

"Magic ventriloquism?"

>Regular kind, actually. Ah' been practicing!

(Neato! That's a cool trick!)

>That's what Ah' thought!

(We need to do a show.)

>That would be fun!

"...so what about the giant crab things?"

(Oh! Oh! And Spike can be a puppet!)

>Oh, yer' so silly!

"They're going to kill us all."

/pa/, everyone. Random anon shouted something and then we have a crazy ass tangent involving giant monsters, ventriloquism and killer crabs.

It's like who's line is it anyway, but the answer is 'everyone'.
It's kinda funny, yesterday had a thread 1 feel, that has a thread 2-3 feel...


"Nooo, I said which one is 'healthier', not better."


"It's not marchmalley! It's the carrot!"

>...Ya' sure?


'What on earth...'

"I'm trying to teach her good eating habits. She keeps picking marchmalley."

'Stop the presses.'

"I'm serious!"

>But they are better!

'She's right.'

"Don't you sabotage me now!"

'What? Ponies feel happier and more elated when they give kids treats, and feel more forcing and less excited when they're making them eat the healthier stuff. Which means that them giving her a marchmalley makes them feel loving feelings better than a carrot.'

"I'm talking biologically!"

'Biologically, we survive off love, not stuff. If the former nets her more love, it doesn't matter what it is.'



"I can feel the knife in my back."

'Facts have no biases, Shiny.'

...She has a point...
So if the side characters are going to Puerto Bulldozer or whatever it's called, they should be going pronto. We've kind of been dragging our feet on that so choo choo, people.
They're all ready and set, we confirmed this as the end of last thread, that guy who's sending them off just has to.... you know, write them leaving.

S'been like a week, just go and if anybody else wants to join in they can fudge a reason to send _____ off or something.

>Hey, Flutters? Can you ask your friends to be careful of the bottles? Don't want them breaking the rum!



"...Pinkie, are you alright?"

>Having fun with my friends!

"Um... you seem... distant? I'm going with distant."

>Nope! I am right here, right in this spot with all my buddies, and nobody else!

"I'm not sure what you mean."



>So is that a yes on the asking?


>I'm feeling a yes, we got a connection you and me! Special bestest buddy connection!

"...uh huh..."

>That's an affirmative! Thanks!... Hey, Dashie! Wanna go see if we can put one of these crabs in Rarity's hair? Classic prank!

"...I'm worried about her...
Be fair, he missed that 29 and co got there already, he was still waiting on them, and then we had the anniversary thing.

He'll get to it.
"Crystal Pony"


"Could you punch a ponies head clear off, if you wanted?"

>Why, oh dear mercy I do not provide, why. Why do all of you keep coming up and asking me this stuff?

"You punched a giant mushroom and killed it after outfighting a super dragon, then you tore up a scarier monster than you are."


"I'm mature, so I appreciate that you're not like those namby pamby princesses who use friendship and locking ponies up to solve everything."


"Because when you get right down to it, effectiveness is blowing someone up and shattering them into a million pieces, not locking them up until they feel nice again. You need to show them, and everybody, that there's only one response to trying to take over the world... their head bleeding out on the ground in a super mature fashion."



>...I have... places to be.

"Oh! Is it bad guys to smush because you don't feel like they deserve another chance? Take me with you!"

>I... have to go.


>Get away!
Oh fuck we found the one libertarian in Canada, RUN!
Thus begin the adventures of Chitty and Edgepony.

Edgepony wants her to slaughter every threat, Chitty is trying to keep her nose clean but secretly agrees with him, it's the perfect conflict!
I'm pretty sure there's a bunch of them that are probably quite bitter, but put on a smiling face.

You can only put up with so much getting fucking enslaved.

>Hey, Fluttershy? Is it just me, or is there more room to walk around now.

"....do do dooo.... oh."





>...Where do ya' s'pose he went?

"I... I don't know..."

>...Hey, Fluttershy?


>Mah' powers go nutty too sometimes.


>Heh, ain't so bad when you ain't gotta feel like crud alone.
Good looking out, AJ
bump during toilet themed fail raid.
Really? We were only on page 5, they must be a pretty weak raid.

God, being a lackluster raid on /mlp/. I don't think I would ever be able to get up from bed again.
>8 posts containing the MLP logo in some autists toilet.

Holy fuck these faggots have dog shit nothing on /sp/ or /int/
I feel old. Remember the real raid from /pol/ during thread 42? Back in my day, trolls put in the effort.
>tfw this surge in not-even-noticeable shitposting will probably be the most fresh activity the board gets for another year.

Why couldn't we stay with /co/? It's so lonely on our own

>Look at it.

"That big, blue, terrifying ocean."

>That terrible thing.

"That thing that just wants to eat you up, swallow you down, and never let you come back."

>So blue, like evil. Evil is probably blue.

"That seems legit, but it's blue green, so it's extra evil."

>It's blue green because it rotted everything it ate.

"That's too legit for you, you had to have stolen that from somewhere."

>I probably did, it seems like everyone would know that the ocean is super evil.

"The worst, it even has sharks and stuff."

>Tartarus needs it's demons.

"Now that you stole."

>Maybe, maybe not.


>...If you were drowning, I'm only flying above with a rope to get you.

"...if you were drowning, I'd levitate a lifesaver out and then pull you back, that's all."

>Seems reasonable, but I'm never going to, because I'm not dumb enough to drown.

"You made it this far."



>...Wanna go make smoothies?

"I'm down."

Meanwhile in weird ass gonzo mushroom land:

'Splish splash I was taking a bath~
'Long about a saturday night~!'
You'd especially think her, out of all of them, would "NOPE" the moment she saw the water...

Backhanded "I'd save you even If I was scared" talk is best talk.

[Why is she just randomly splashing in the water?]

-Giants are fucking confusing, maybe she can't get enough blood to her skull.-

"Random aquatic violence, this pleases me. I also do not like the water."

>Wow, I could totally take a nap right now.


>You did a number with that sun up there, good job.

"I didn't make the thing, but I'll take the praise anyway."

>Yep. This sun, this sand, this place... I could totally take a nap right now.

"Perfect time for a sleep."

>Yep... so... relaxing...


"...Just the wind."

>Totally the wind!


>The thoomy wind.

"Those happen all the time around here."


...thoom thoom...

>The very thoomy wind.

"Maybe it's a little rougher than normal, but still within the normal thoomy wind boundaries."

>Nothing to be worried about!


>That is not a thoomy wind.

"I may have been mistaken, but assert it is probably benign."


"A totally benign... giant crab."



>...I'm not feeling like a nap anymore.


Wuh ohhh! Sounds like the CE just got a little bigger!

...You just fucking know Two is going to make friends with it and take it home, don't play that game. If she had gotten to it first, Centitrain would be hanging out in the back of the castle as the Twomobile.
Can you blame her?
Crabs are awesome. Have you seen one eat? Shits surreal.
They also eat almost everything they can, and turn this into delicious crab meat.

Crabs are alien bugs that came here so we can eat them.
I kinda wish Centitrain had become AJ's ride.

How fucking badass would that be?
~Berry Punch~

>Soooo... you think she actually was mind controlled?

"I really, really doubt it. That guy seemed like his ego would be too big to even try it. Like, he would just assume everyone would bend to his whims just because he did it."

[Well, she's probably bending to SOME whim... if you know what I'm saaaaaying.]

{I don't.}

~I wouldn't mind bending to a couple of his whims.~

"Holy shit Berry! Have some standards!"

~I do! I have standards normally, I'm just making an exception because... you knooowwww.~

{I don't.}

>That's totally a rumor.

~How do you know?~

>Because that's exactly what I would spread I could do if I could shapeshift, even if I couldn't.

~Pfft, for all you with their powers, you could grow it.~

"Can they do that?"

[Why couldn't they? I mean... I'd get creative, if you know what I'm saying.]

{I don't.}

~Besides, I haven't gotten a good hug in a while...~

>I'm telling you, he can't grow shit.

~Wouldn't hurt to try!... Or maybe it would, depending, if you know what I'm saying.~

{...I don't-}


{Ohhhhh... neat!}

{...Totally wouldn't fuck a changeling, they look gross.}

>Is... is that racist?

"Better question, does anyone care?"

~....So does anyone feel like giving me that hug-~

>Subject change!

>Nobody loves you berry
>You're worst background pony
I'd only want that if AJ could power her up.

Last time Centitrain took on Chitty, didn't go so hot, and Chitty wasn't even in Titan mode. Powered up Centitrain coming for revenge would be fuckawesome.
Wood armor would interfered with her electric stuff though.

Quick! Someone google a plant that makes for a good conductor!
gotcha covered, the answer is Sphagnum:

Now she can ride a super lightning bug with living plant armor into battle.
Peat moss explodes it's spores at up to 120 MPH when electricity runs through it
...actually not a problem, her defense is a good offense.
So make wooden encasing in order to trap the peat moss and use the fact the thing can literally spit lightning in order to set it off. Or make cannons that can point it in the right direction and then use the spores as rapid growth attachments for conducting.

Hey /pa/ just letting you know to keep on the good ride, I might have fallen off the wagon a time or two, but it's still nice to see you guys still riding this down the road.

Keep writing and keep being creative!

Love Anon
Going full... uh... what's the term, woodpunk?
That'd just make Chitania angry

Angry about elves
I finally met a meme that I actually had to google in order to understand Bravo.
'Mini 32'
-Mini 77-
~Mini 50~

>Ohhhh just around the river beeend beyond the shoooorrrre~!

"I see no bends in this river, false advertising."

'Nice song though, where'd you hear it?'

>Eh, some vaguely racist movie about buffalo.

~What is a movie?~

>Jeez, dude, you guys need to get out more.

'Being trapped in a flawed justice system will do that.'

~You would be free a lot sooner if you kept your mouth shut.~

'I wasn't just talking about me being trapped.'

-I'm unbound by any moral code, I hunt beasts and am most surely going to become one in time.-


-Gah, don't boop me! I'm being serious!-

>That's why you need this. Boop.


>Ya gotta quit being so uptight about everything. I know your wife died and all but-

-Died? She didn't die.-

>...huh? But bucko here said she threw herself off a cliff.

-It wasn't a cliff...-

'It is from our perspective.'

-She tripped over a hill and skinned her foreleg. I couldn't bear to know that I'd caused my beloved such harm, so I fled.-


-Gahhh! Does my tail of woe not move you!?-

>No, you're silly, silly bugs get booped. Boop.

'This is quite amusing.'

~Yes, lucky for us we're not silly in the least.~

>Oh I'm getting to you two, don't you worry.


"Will they be getting booped too?"


"The glowing eyes glaring at us from the mushroom forest."



--son of--

~-a bitch!~




"Thrilling ambushes, this pleases me."
geez, 2 years
Princess Bubba you mean
Inspiration strikes at the weirdest of times, like maybe ten seconds before you pass out for the night.

Morning, /pa/ls.
Boops, the ultimate weapon in seriousness.
And then later, when you wake up, you don't remember what it was... Such is life.
My screams of aggravation could stir up the horrors beneath Canterlot...



>Giant crab?

"Giant fucking crab."

>Just... out of nowhere, giant fucking crab.

"Boom, giant seafood."


"I don't know."

>How, really?

"Not a clue."

>...Should we be worried?



"She looks happy. Hey, she deserves a vacation too."

>...Forty Two is weird.

"Little bit."


>Now I know what'cha thinkin', does she have Marchmalleys? Well, the answer's gonna surprise you.


"AHHHAHAHAH! THIS BAAATTTLEEE IS... isn't this bad? Won't you have to clean up the house later?"

>Nah, it'll be fine. We got this.


"Oh, okay... so, are we going to-"


>...Issat a giant crab? Did you do that one too?

"I... don't think so?"





>Awwww, look! Yer' food monster and the crab are gonna hug- oh wow they are not huggin'.

"I think my food monster is trying to eat that crab."

>Fair enough, crabs is tryin' to as well.

"... this is the most sense this world has made to me since I got here."

It strikes me that this is what Fluttershy can just do now, and some part of that is scary...
Isn't it? She's literally a ticking time bomb.

>Detective Pinkie is on the case!

Why she was following the giant multiple holes in the ground? That was obvious.

Why was she wearing her detective hat? Less necessary, but still fairly obvious.

Why was she looking at said massive, very obvious holes with a giant magnifying glass? For little other reason than she felt like it, as she was so common to do.

>Bum... bum nuh buh nuuuuh buh...

She had claimed that she, personally, should go find this particular crab because all the others had combat abilities higher than her own. This made enough sense for them not to question it, just as it was with most things she did. Of course, it wasn't totally the truth. Sure, she was less capable of taking on sixty or so very angry crabs than the other, but more importantly...

She needed to make sure they didn't accidentally stumble upon anything.

Not that she was worried, this object of her worry was quite a ways out, and even in the event someone stumbled across it, it wouldn't be a problem.

For even if they found that nice, robust place just a ways away from their residence, it's not like they could do anything with it. They obviously couldn't break into the place, and the only ones who ever rented it were jerks, apparently. Her auntie never had a single good story to say about anyone who ever stayed there.

Still, it was for the best if they didn't see it. That way they didn't have that thought in the back of their head, and they could all just focus on being together again, like they should be. She wasn't worried.

Because, obviously, what are the odds they were going to see someone they actually knew-

"HAH! Go for the eyes, Forty Two! They're huge, you can't fucking miss them!

So, that's what it sounds like when the world explodes.

Now she knew.

I mean I'm glad we're not dragging it out anymore, but still. Daaaamn.
Admittedly I'm kinda glad we're getting on with it, drug it out a biiiiit too much.
What're we dragging out again?

>...Are those crabs playin' chess?

"They are. That one's pretty good at it, the other one not so much."

>Huh. He does kinda suck, yeah. What with eating the pieces and all.


>...Did Spike say the nice giant monster had any problem with eatin' crabs? I think it was just fish.


>Really? Yer' gonna be like that?


>So... eat 'em quickly?


>Huh, seem ta' have grown horns on mah' head... sides the obvious one, Ah' mean.


>...So no eatin' them?


>Horns are gone. Kay... can Ah' just have a leg-


>Aww.... can Ah' at least stop bein' glued ta' the floor?

"When I'm sure you've learned."

>...Ah' liked you better without the magic.

The trip. Haven't really been doing anything but random gags for two threads.

It was fun, but the same scenarios got exhausted, let's go nuts and have some fun already. Get crazy fast, not over five threads like with PL.
Funny enough, the others still aren't at Puerto Burro...
So, Pinkie's gonna try to hide this...

Guess we're finding out what's behind that door!

She heard screeches, roars, the sound of battle...

She should be there, they needed her now, she should certainly be out there if fighting was happening. She was an alicorn, she could help, she could handle threats like that.

Sure, technically there were two others out there who far outpaced her, both in power and in fighting prowess, but she could help as well. She didn't have to be here...

Just a quick check, a quick peek, a quick look to make sure everything was okay, and right back she could come...

>...Dealing with serious sentencing is never easy, as you cannot give the impression that serious crimes do not have weight, yet having base compassion is a must...

She couldn't help anybody, not yet.

She had to change that.
...Okay, Caddy, A for effort, but that really is something you should probably check on.
>Fancy Pants

>So, let me get this straight. You were... and I simply want this for the record, I am not implying I do not believe you, but... you were assigned as a guard, given armor, given a position of training, and actually put into a live battle... because you happen to have the same name of one of the guards. A name of one of the guards... who was, and again I just want this for the record, the ONLY casualty in the rampage from Chitania as far as Canterlot goes. And instead of the very public fact he was DEAD, you were given his rank, his weapons, his armor, his position and then you were actually put into a bootcamp AS AN INSTRUCTOR, and then you were deployed in not one, but TWO ACTUAL BATTLES, one of which was against infected super unkillable beings!

"Um... yes."

>And you never told anyone!?

"I tried, but they didn't really seem to listen..."

>I... I just... look, all of that is bad, okay, but you know what really sticks out to me?


>You, and I say this with the upmost respect for you and all you did, you are a MARE. YOU'RE A MARE.

"Is that a problem?"

>It is when the pony you are replacing IS A STALLION.

"Oh, right."


"Um... nobody? Like I said, I just gave them my name, and... well..."


"I enlisted normally later after a dream told me to, though! I think Princess Luna sponsored it."


"Is that bad?'

>...I... I just... do I even report this? This has nothing to do with my investigations in the changelings at all-

"Oh no, I never even met one of the changelings except for the very nice one on fire who saved me against the zombies."

>...I... I just... I know, technically, this isn't in my investigation, but I just... I want to tell someone, you know?

"You could tell me!"


"No good?"

>...Miss Coco, I want you to know, you are either far braver than you had any right to be, or you are by far the worlds most accepting mare.



"...It's not the first one."

>I didn't think so.
Ahhhh, I missed Coco....
>So, wait... you actually know princess Rarity?

"Yes! I actually work for her, sort of!"

>...and... and she had no issues with this?

"You know, I don't know if anyone ever told her I was here... come to think of it, my place back in Manehatten might need to be cleaned, but at least I've kept up with the rent!"

>...you don't even live here.


>You don't even... you're not even white!

"I'm sorry."

>Oh, wow, okay, I should actually be the one apologizing for how that sounded. But still!

"But I mean, someone had to have told her, right? After it came out and I re-enlisted?"



>...Just to doublecheck, you enlisted because of a dream sponsored by Princess Luna.

"Yep! And miss Diamond Tiara was there!"

>...I don't...

"Should I not have said that?"
>Rarity still doesn't know

Well, that's something...
One thing I like about that omake, anyone you miss? Appears. It's like a Pinkie Prophecy for a specific character without a prompt.
...Is... is there a law about going into someone's dreams? I feel like there should be.
Let's leave it funny, anon. Let's just... leave it funny.
Leave it funny or make it funny?

Cause there's loooots of ways to make making that a law funny, especially with her teaching 29 dreamwalking.
Latter, obviously.

Don't think we need to turn it into a drama fest, but turning her dreamwalking into bureaucracy would be hilarious and would give her more to do with AJ.
Oh hell yeah, making it a reveal would be just a reprise of the Caddy thing, but what if we just did some gags with her being like
>What do you mean, I have to file a specific form to go into nightmares!? THERE ARE DREAM EATERS OUT THERE!


>I wasn't even in that dream, that was a dream me!... An ACTUAL dream me! I did not!... PROVE IT THEN!
>PINKIE! Where is dream TBDRLIATU!?

"Sorry, Luna had to enforce new regulations on dream weaponry. Dream School Shootings are through the roof!"

>No more dream enhancements!? But I look so pretty!

"Sorry, but it gives little girls unrealistic expectations or something. It's bad now."

>This is the worst thing ever! Anarchy now!"

>... aren't you a-

> what do you mean, I'm not licensed to teach dream stuff!? How can I not be qualified?! Who else is more qualified than I am this makes no sense! I I'm calling my sister on you!
"A very respected member of the Elements of Harmony, thank you!"
'HIYA LUNA! You can just call me Pinkie, you don't have to be formal and call me Misses Pie!'
And then she wakes up.
I could absolutely see that happening.
Ok, here we go...


>Okay, so, recap: I can't go back to Canterlot, nobody likes me here, I got left behind by my teacher, I am STILL an unfeeling undead monster aaaand-

Choo choo!

>...every other person I'm even vaguely acquainted with is leaving on a train bound for who knows where.

As the train passes, Pommel is pushing a cart of drinks from one car to another, he looks out the window and notices Sunset, eyes going wide.


He begins running as the train picks up speed, poking his head out of a window in one car-


Run run run, another window.


Run run run, 'nother window.


Run run run-

>With you?


>Uh, sure I guess, but how am I supposed to catch the-


'Huh? Uh sure, I guess, what happened to my coff-'







'...welp, c'mon!'

Grab, ZOOM!




There, presumably EVERYONE that would be welcome to go is on the train.
>Fancy Pants

>So... just so I'm clear, and I cannot believe I have to say this out loud, you, YOU, were hired on as a special operative, given an absolutely ludicrous fund, and participated in several massive battles, one of which involved you hoof fighting...

"A cyborg, yeah!"

>...You were a special operative.

"Until they, and by they I mean Applejack and nobody else, freaking fired me!"


"Bullshit, am I right?"

>...I fear I have bitten off more than I can chew...
>Fancy Pants


"Good evening. This unit has prepared a guest dinner for Inspector Designate: Fancy Pants."

>I didn't know the Princesses employed servant robots...

'Hey, who're you calling a servant, mustache boy?'

>...oh dear.

"Please ignore construct designate: Brahmos. He is a feature of this unit's secondary function in addition to functioning as a butler."

>What's the secondary function?


>Gah! Loud!

'Yeah, that's Red, he does that. Believe me, he's at like, minimal volume levels right now.'

>And the Princesses are using you to imprison these two...I don't even know what to call this.

"Elaboration: Construct designate: "Brahmos" is a data recreation of a criminal and pirate king. Entity designate: "Red" is a magical entity that must not be released from inside this unit. Further correction: This unit houses three entities, not two."

>What the devil is the third one, dare I ask?




'What? Aw come on!'

Five Minutes Later...

'And THAT'S why we're here now, HELLO CELLMATES!'


*Hurrah, more friends! FOUR FOR ONE!*
I'd personally prefer not having laws that prevent folks from going into other people's dreams since that would kind of effect my own stories and would make stuff like having Pinkie play pranks on people illegal. I'd still circumvent it of course, but I'd rather not have to.


~Fuzzy and the Buzz in the morning, 97.1!~

"Top story toDAY! The investigation is heating up back at the castle, but unfortunately everything found so far is hush hush. We can see stuff is going down, but we know as much as you beautiful listeners."


>But that's okay, because we've got a new segment waiting for you! For just this special show, we've hooked up an outside line to the studio, and we're going to be taking YOUR CALLS!

"And by that we mean literally, it's a line that goes outside the station. Just a line."

>Buzz splurged with his life savings.


~Someone get that line!~

>Well, let's hear it! First caller!

(Like, hiiiii, how are youuuuu?)

"We're doing just amazing honey, what's your name?"

(Like, oh my gosh! I'm actually on the show!)

>Hiya "Like oh my gosh", You're on with the Fuzz.

"Really? Lines like that and you keep striking out? How does it happen?"

~Elementary, dear Watson!~

(Okay, I gotta know! Is it weird working with a changeling?)

>Sure is! Who eats peanut butter right out of the jar?

"Your ex-marefriend, but only in bed."


~How does he know!?~


"...Well! Looks like that's all the calls for the day as it has been torn clear out the wall!"


>Poor Buzz, even when mares are on the other side of a brick wall they tear off from him.


~COME BACK! I have a great personality!~

>That's all the time for the day, and we'll be leaving you all with the smooth stylings of "The Sun will Come out Tomorrow by anonymous pony!"

~The mystery is on!~

>Calls for F&B

This is good.

And they're off! FINALLY!

...I'm actually starting to feel bad for Flim and Flam.
Thank god.
The moment they start with the "Top five princesses" polls, they're getting nuked.
Didn't read the news, Fancy?

She was kinda all over it, though I don't know if her age was mentioned.
Even if it was, it's one thing to hear "Young super capable operative" and then like... see her.

Even if he knew OF her, she wouldn't be anything like what he was thinking.

I don't know why I feel it, but I feel like this whole thing would have been totally perfect if after this, they set up something and just got silence.

>...Okay, so what's worrying you most about this situation?

"You'd think it would be the seafood free for all going on right behind us, wouldn't it?"

>You'd think, but that's clearly not it. So, with the current stuff, what's most worrying.

"Well, let's break it down. Pinkie is running."

>Not inherently bad, she runs.

"That she does. She is running right towards us."

>Worrying in the sense that she might tackle us, and that is painful, but not fear worthy.

"She is running towards us with a strained look on her face."

>Almost certainly bad news, that is worrying, but I feel like there's more.

"She is running towards us in a panicked, slightly off kilter run, with a strained look on her face... and she is smiling."

>...It's the smiling.

"Yep, the smiling."

>Should we do something?

"...It's too late."

>Yeah... yeah it is.


That would've been two parts funny, one part terrifying.
I think it would be extra funny if it was just for Luna, because who else could?

Or, barring that, it's just for Luna and changelings, because racism.
>if it was just for Luna
That's kinda who I was thinking it would be just automatically, because dream mare and all.

>... Are you alright up there, good sir?


>I warned you to stick a broom in there.


>Oh, dear. I have to pay for that if we can't get it back, I promised it back to as I found it.


>...How do they look?


>I'm just wondering! Fluer's birthday is coming up, and I'd love to get her something unique.


>You don't need your legs to look.


>Oh, I'm just kidding. Just a quick tug and-


>...Please tell me that was your coat.


>Oh dear...
Holy shit, fucking OUCH.
Hey, some people pay a fuckload for hot wax treatments, looks like someone else is on vacation!
I bet he didn't think they let her keep the thing...
I kind of want to see that. Just to watch Luna lose her shit while pinkie tries to be helpful.
Goodnight, thread.
G'nught anon.
Get some glue, guy will be fine.
Last one before bed...
What a coincidence, last one I can give too.
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and the writers are asleep! Now for our main guest...PRINCESS LUNA!!!

[Pinkie, I *burp* need you and the P-team. There's a group of Dream Eaters attacking a dream city right now. I had to patrol through some ponies who dreamt of rum back to back, so I'm not in the best *burp* fighting shape right now. All hooves on deck. You know what I mean?]

>I know exactly what you mean! Also to be clear, I had nothing to do with said rum!

"N-now? I was hoping for some advice on some bureaucracy. I'm being really focused and-"

'Nope, let's go because there's no way I'm going to sit through that.'

[I'd raaaather not either. Come Pinkie. We- we have things to do now, Pinkie. Like important things to do. *burp* Now how did I use the door again?]
A door appears and Luna pulls them all in.




They appear on the other side.
[Welcome to the city of dreams, Pinkie.]
A giant dream eater runs by and gobbles up a building, making it ever bigger. Another dream eater shrieks violently as a few nightguards stab it's side. A herd of shadow rabbits stampede through the streets. A pony cries clutching a bloody stump of his leg. A house bursts into flames, burning shadows, ponies, and a dream eater.

[...It's usually prettier than this.]


[Welcome to the frontlines.]
It's fuckin on now!
Oooo~ that got interesting...
Admittedly, that be like watching Soldies walk out en mass with the rifle and been using. Then again, guns are new...
Uh, damn.

That's something.

>...Excuse me, who exactly is 'Name redacted'?

"It looks like one of the Princesses secret agents."

>The... the princess has a secret agent?


>Should I... is that part of the investigation? I don't know if that is changeling related or not.

"You're asking me?"

>...This is so confusing.
Jetset is VERY Changeling related. In fact he has only done three things in canon
>reflect/train (to fight 7)
>Changeling shit (every mission he has been on since introduction)
>Drop spaghetti with mares he isn't related to.(one of which is a changeling)

>...We're doomed.

They could feel the acid tickling at their hooves as they dangled above it, the crane straining to hang on to all of them at the same time.

>Yep, somehow Ah' knew it would end like this.


The stallion down below looked ready to collapse. The last hour had been hell.

[Okay, you know what? NO! ENOUGH! I had this great big speech about how you think you're so smart and now you've gotta pay the price and yadda yadda yadda, but you know what? FUCK IT!]

"Ohhhh, he said a bad wooooorrddd."


'Vekir thinks that word is funny, and shall be using it later.'

[THERE AIN'T GONNA BE A LATER! FUCK YOU! Okay, it was bad enough when I couldn't find the crane, and then I had to go fucking rent this one because who the fuck misplaces a crane, DOPER!]

The pony beside him shrugged. Yet, for some reason, he didn't even seem to be looking in the bosses direction, and was mumbling something that no one could understand.

"Is he okay?"

[No, he's not okay, because he decided to 'relax' at the worst fucking time!]

>What kinda cutie mark is that anyway? Is he inta' fancy pipes?

[NEVERDAMNMIND! Because even after that, you all just hhhhhaaaaddddd to make this harder! You just had to make your dog bite crusher in the nads!]


In the corner, there was a short, pained whimper.


'Vekir would like to point out you are muchly trying to make us the dead.'

[AND THEN! Oh! And then, the acid had gone bad! HOW THE FUCK DOES ACID GO BAD!?]


"Chemicals break down, you know."

[It's been a fucking hour for what should have been a two minute fix! TWO MINUTES! That's how long it took to do Snitchy the Snitch, and he was a kicker!]

>...Y... ya' hired on a guy named snitchy?


[So you know what? Fuck it! Fuck the speech! Fuck the whole spiel, fuck everything! I'm just gonna cut to the chase and kill you, leave, go find me the cheapest redlight gal I can find and take out my frustration on this whole stupid world and this whole stupid mess and just be DON-]


[...Wow, my horoscope was dead on when it told me today was going to suck. I didn't even think they wrote it like that, but it makes perfect sense now.]

The door behind them fell away, and with it, the fires of hell were seemingly unleashed.


A hail of bullets rained in like a thunderstorm, all of them coming from the dual tommygun wielding stallion who burst into the room, balancing awkwardly on his hind legs as he opened fire on his old comrades.

>...Ain't that the guy who went off with Sweetie Belle?

"You know, I don't blame him, time alone with Sweetie Belle makes most grownups want to start shooting everything."

All the while, his ex boss just sat there, unmoving, as the rest of his crew were either wounded or jumped for their lives.

When the last bullet casing fell, they were all alone. Former employee, and boss, staring down one another.


{Why? You want to know why? Because... she's worth it. I have discovered the magic, boss! I FELT THE MAGIC!}

He sat there, flabbergasted, as the guns were trained on him.



Like a magic trick, the white unicorn popped out from behind him, and happily waved.


{Thank you for being polite!}

(S'cuse me, I have to let my friends down!)

With a hop and a skip, she moved past him, and worked her magic on the crane.

>...So are you all lost?


'Vekir does not care!'

~I will not chew you tonight, marshmallow pony! No matter how soft you are!~


{See, boss? I understand now, she... she showed me such wonderful things, I felt things I haven't in a long time, and I couldn't take it anymore! I couldn't let you do this, I had to do this! FOR HER! For her... I'm willing to fight you.}

[....It's been like, a fucking hour.]

{Hey! I took some convincing, thank you! I was very hardheaded until she softened me up.}



There they stood, all of them together, looking ready for a fight.

>Looks like yer' about ta' get yer' tail kicked in by the CUTIE MARK CRU-


His simple words stopped her.

With that, he lied down on the ground, curled into the fetal position, and started rocking back and forth.

{...Er, I had a dramatic thing here-}


{Don't even want a final battle?}

[No... no... nooo...]

They waited, and waited, but despite the fact all of them could see he was clearly armed, he never got up.


(Thank you, Hammerhead!)

Happily, she trotted up, and hugged him. He practically had tears in his eyes as he hugged her back.

{Anytime... anytime...}

(...Whelp! We gotta go now!)

{I understand. I know you have an adventure to go on, and I know you have so much more of the world to see. But Sweetie Belle, I want you to know, this time was special. You showed me things I didn't know I was blind to. In that brief time I felt more alive than I ever have. Sweetie Belle, you were special, more special than anyone else I've ever been with. You opened my eyes to new things I thought I would never feel before, and want to so badly again. You truly were, the very best-... uh...}

He didn't know when they had left.

It was probably pretty early into his speech.


[...no no... no...]

{Well, I guess-}


Without warning, the dog rushed right back in, and bit the fetal pony right where it hurts.








{...You know, I was going to turn you in, and my gut tells me to bring you to justice, but I just noticed I shot at a lot of guys... maybe calling the guard wouldn't be the best idea.... wow, I thought exactly none of this through.}





{...Today got weird.}


"Sweetie Belle, where did you get these train tickets?"

(Mister Hammerhead said this place was too terrible for someone like me. So we're leaving!... Vekir, you can't take those on the train.)

Somewhere behind the mass of guns, swords and knives that had been stolen, there was a harrumph.


"So, where is the train gonna take us?"

(To where ever we we should go, Scootaloo, to where ever we should go.)

"...So should we have called the guard, or-"


"He mentioned a lot of murders-"


"He tried to kill us-"

(Do you want to sit around filing the report?)

"Uh...So! Dibs on the dessert trolly!"

(We're off on another adventure!)

'...So is Vekir going to have to be the one who mention that ponies and Vekir almost died?'


'Vekir takes that as a yes.'
I don't even fucking know what's going on anymore, and I love it.

And, of course, Winona keeps stealing the show.
And thus, The CMC take down the organized crime in Detrot.

Step up your fucking game, Applejack.

>...You ever wonder when life just got 'too' weird?'


>I used to be a normal unicorn, you know. I was just another cog in the machine.

"I was always secretly planning to murder the current Queen, overthrow her and then take over once I learned the secret of how to ascend. Then I learned it and holy shit we are fucked up."

>I used to just get up in the morning, go do my normal duties... shoot, back in the day it was rare I would see Celestia at all! Those were massive events to me!

"I saw her every day and wondered when I was going to kill her."

>Yep, things got weird for me.

"...they got way better for me."


Without another word, he wrapped his foreleg around her, and pulled her in close.

>Me too.

"...So should we go help with the monster and crab or-"

>Shhhh... shhhh... let the insanity take hold.
>/pa/ subconsciously decides Sweetie Belle is a shcokingly innocent underage slut

Why nigga
Because it's a joke.
There's nothing that says that wasn't the power of friendship.
But since you don't know, it's more ambiguously funny.
The CMC oddessy is so fucking amazing. Nothing more than simple one-line prompts has spiraled into more insanity than most acs do.

>This is gonna be fun.


>You know? I've just got... a fun sense. My fundar is going off. I feel like this is going to be wild, and crazy, and me and you and Zecroa and Trixie, we're all gonna have a great time.


>This train? This is the fun train, and we're on it.


>Don't you feel the fun train too?



"...I'm glad you hired me."



>...me too...

"...but if they try to arrest me, mine laser upon mine head shall run red with their ichor of life."

>Fair enough.
Better question, why not? It's worked like whoa!
The biggest change in Shiny's life, at least he isn't suffering alone anymore.

But seriously don't joke about that man, shooting up the office isn't cool.

>This is so exciting! I've never been to the beach before!

"Ugh, I dunno, I'm worried about getting sand in my holes."

>Meh, just keep your holes up above it, nothing should get in there.

"But what if the wind blows some sand in there?"

>We'd just have to find something to wash out the holes with.

"I guess finding a hose probably won't be a problem..."

>Yep! Then just stuff it in there, and maybe some wiggling, and then it allll rushes out.

"You think you can pump it so it gets enough pressure?"

>Of course! Used to be a royal guard, you know.

"They do have some training for that in there... alright, I guess I'm not worried."

>That's the spirit! When else are you and me really gonna get a chance to roll around in the sand, really get nuts? Stop worrying and just enjoy the ride!

"Yeah... yeah! I'm feeling it!'

>Oh, you're gonna feel it!

"I bet!... You think they have juggling there?"

>Why would that matter? You're the only juggling I need. Nobody does it like you do!


>To adventure!

"And getting sand in our holes!"


>...Oh gosh, we must look like such tourists, that stewardess won't stop laughing.

"That happens everywhere we go..."
...Jesus has it really been that long since accidental innuendo?

You don't think it would be that hard, but it seems like such a huge gap between it. If they don't pick up the pace and start hammering away, nobody is gonna get satisfied at this rate.
Makes it more of a surprise if you don't know it's coming and then WHAM, you get it shoved right up in your face and before you know it, you get your fill of what you were looking for.
Earth pony power. Many underestimate it, fewer still know that it is entirely possible to be strong enough to rip a metal plate off it's hinges. This misconception is at least partially due to the startling fact that less than one percent of one percent of all earth ponies are Pinkie Pie.

True story.


"...Pinkie, we are in the hatch."

>No no no! Other hatch! Door hatch! That one!

'That's not a hatch, it's a-'

>It's a place we need to be right now!

[Well, it is a good thing you're the element of laughter, so I'll humor you. Why, precisely, do we need to go in there?]


{Um... they're actually not that much of a problem, they're not hurting anyone. Just each other... a lot.}

>No! Trust me, they are super dangerous right now!

(So should we shoot 'em? We got firepower.)

~One shot in the eye. Bam, seafood.~

>NO! We can't do that! Fluttershy tell them!

{She's right.}

>Thank you! Everyone in the room!

{I mean you're right, because I can probably get rid of them if I concentrate-}

>NO! That'll be worse because of reasons!

"Pinkie, is there something you're not telling us?"

>Nope! It's mostly the thing I'm telling you! The hatch thing!

'It's not a-'

>WHATEVER! Inside! In in in in in!

(We don't even know how ta' open the dang thing-GLK!)

There was only one reason why she was able to wrap her hooves seemingly around everyone at the same time.

'Because fuck science, I guess.'

Twilight had it.


[The door isn't even open!]


~I'm starting to feel like she's insisting-~


Her hoof lashed out with that very same Pinkie Pie Power that had driven her before, and landed hard against the massive steel door.

It didn't even shake.

>...Twilight? Little help?


>Pretty please with sprinkles?

A deep, angry sigh left her, but nonetheless her magic worked the lock until it clicked.


>I owe you one, you can totally ride Gummy when we get back, it's awesome.

'I'll take your word for it-'


Again her hoof lashed out, this time producing the much more favorable results of the door flinging open, and as one they were all quite literally tossed inside.

Behind them, the door slammed shut, and a what sounded like a dozen locks dancing together all at once rang out. As soon as it stopped, they were left alone with nothing but each other, and total darkness.

>...Mission accomplished!

"And that mission was?"

>Getting inside here.

'Well, congratulations.'

[Any particular reason, Pinkie Darling?]

>Yes. Getting in here. That was the important thing.

A cold, empty silence fell over the group.

>...Who's feeling like I Spy?

(We can't see anything.)

~Allow me, ladies!~

He inhaled-
And then he hit the ground.

'Spike! We're in an enclosed space, it might be airtight! Why would you try to use your flame!?'

~...I feel like slapping me was a bit too far-~


~Point taken.~

[Orrrr, one of the many magic users in the room could light the place up. Like me, for instance!]

>Wait... hold on, I think Auntie said something about light-

[Ta daaaaa!]


Too late, her luminous shine filled the room, even more than normal as would be insisted by Spike. At last, they could see just what it was that had been hidden away.

"... huh..."
>...So thaaaat's why it was locked...
Watch someone write in something totally fucking random and crazy.

It would still be canon.
Joys of crowdwriting. Anyone can just pop in right there and be like "STORYTIME!:

>This is ridiculous, but at least there isn't some absurd crisis to worry about with them not here...


"Take us to your leaders."

>...sure, they're in this executive suite.

Five minutes later...


'-Wh...what the hell are YOU!?-'

~Oh my, this is getting surreal...~

=Wanna try on some hats?=

+_Trade with us, strange big eyed grey ponies!_+

#Hey Red, are these relatives of yours?#



"...yeah, nah, we out. NEXT PLANET, GUYS!"

>>...sure, they're in this executive suite.
Fucking lost it.
Oh god that was perfect.

>So, tell me more about this... changeling made of fire. Was he an illusion? Are you aware of how that worked? This seems like it would be important information.

"Um, he was ON fire, he wasn't made of it."

>...On fire.

"As in, he was... you know, on fire!"

>...and he wasn't... dead?

"No, he actually seemed pretty happy."

>Is this something all changelings can do? Can they just light themselves aflame as they wish?

"...I dunno, I never really talked to any of them except him? The other guards told me to throw a pie at them one time, but I didn't want it to go to waste."

>Throw... a pie?


>Isn't that a touch mean?

"Well, it's not like it's as mean as the rocks were."


"Yeah, rocks. Or bricks, just anything rocky they could find... I mostly stacked them into neat piles."

>The guards threw bricks?

"Only sometimes! It's not like it was common, they just pushed them sometimes. I didn't, but it looked like they were having fun."

>P-... pushed them.



"Was I not supposed to say that?"

>I... I fear I look beneath myself and see a chasm, yet little do I know that what lies below is deeper than the endless ocean.

"That was a nice poem!"


"I like to encourage ponies."

>...we have a long day ahead of us.
Ohhhhh fuck.

Well, maybe he'll be like "Well Pommel has been cleaning up the act, so at least there's progress."
Then again, he's probably gonna wonder why Pompom, the guy who was trained by 32, is running the show now...
Well that is his job. Fancy's gotta smart head, he can handle this.
I'm half tempted to make it a sex dungeon or something, just to really screw with it.
Well, I mean, even if he does find harassment in the guard to the lings, does that matter to his investigation? He's looking for possible corruption from the lings to the royal officials, this would be a sign against that.

>Hey. Hey. Hey not-mom, not-momma, not-mommy, not-mother, not-mom, not-mom, not the momma, nein-mum, neit-mother, mot-nom, not-mom, not-mom, mom-not, biologically unrelated parental figure, not-


>What does crab taste like?





"...Huh. I have no idea."

>Can we find out?

"I thought you wanted to keep that crab?"

>I'm not talkin' bout mister pinchy!... Mister Pinchy's brothers, maybe.

"...brotherS? Plural?"

>Well Ah'm not that good at countin, but Ah' made it over one.... not quite up ta' however many that is, though.

"However many what is-SWEET MOTHER IN THE HIVEMIND!"

>They wanna play.

Oh, that's gonna end badly...

>Ah'm givin' him a bath!
...Fuck you.

Pinchy nooooo...

You were so delicious.
>not the momma
The smile on my face
That reference was old as fuck, but I love it.
That one's on you, coco.

You trained them poorly.
So am I actually. It was one of the first things that came to mind. It's a sex dungeon.
By virtue of Arana being there, I don't think... no. No, go ahead. I want to see this.
>By virtue of Arana being there,


He's talking about the main six+spike in the underground thing. He wasn't talking about the 'dungeon' cell.
Oh okay, I had that totally confused. I was trying to figure out how in the hell that would've worked.




>...Thou art not mine student!

"Are you sure?"

>Yes, for he is black!

"WOW! Okay, WOW! Just gonna go right there? I knew you were from a thousand years ago, but WOW!"

>N-no! We did not mean it like that!

"It sure sounded like that!"

>But we didn't! We are merely stating his color, that is all!

"Uh huh, because it's not like you're RACIST or anything!"

>We are not!

"Suuuure, you're just.. what is it, 'honest', is that what you tell yourself to sleep at night?"

>We sleep during the day!

"Changing the subject, typical."

>We're not changing the subject! We... we're just...






"...Phew, thought I was going to have to explain why I was in the mayor's office. Alright, time for Filthy's dirt digging... wow, that sounds way too fitting... Oh dear lord I just realized that if someone called me shit they could use my name for this... damn it, mom!"
Filthy Rich's parents were clearly hinging their bets he would eventually be loaded and a douche.
>That trauma that would never leave Pinkie

So tempting.
Hey, he turned out pretty chill.


"It's not working, do something else!"

>...Something... else?

"Not a bubble, I mean!"

>...not a...


>...Can you even use words that way in a sentence?

"...I'm starting to see why the changelings beat you all so easily."

>Would it help if I made different shaped bubbles?

"Oh dear mother I hired him."
>What if I made a really big bubble?

"Just stop."

>It worked on Chrysalis!

"Not helping g."

>...Did you have to bring them?

"Bring who?"

>The little demons, did you have to bring them? I know you like having them around, but they're a touch unsightly to look at, and they give me the creeps sometimes. Me! I'd just have liked it better if this vacation was creepy thing free.





~WHAT did you say about my baby?~

>...Oh dear.

"This is why we never had kids."
Oh, 77. Swing and a miss.


Zap zap zap!

We now present this story in translated Morlock.

"Now see what you did, Shebub?"

'Hey, we couldn't get their attention any other way!'

"That's your excuse EVERY time you throw a spear at someone!"

'And most of the time it works.'

>*Angry bug noises*

'Granted a little too well.'

"And you wonder why the changelings and bugs don't like us."

'Not my fault they taste delicious...why are we supposed to keep these ones alive again?'

-Because shroom bug said so.-



"How do you always sneak up on us like that Tall Sister?"

-Because you are always speaking to each other instead of paying attention.-

'Oh, right, that'd do it.'

-They are upset.-

'Just a little.'

>*More angry bug noises*

"Just a lot."

-Retreat, I shall deal with them.-

'Phew, great, the big flaming face and the eyeless berserker scare me.'

-You will be punished later.-



-Both of you.-



-Now, time to speak in their strange tongue, ahem...-

We now return to our Equestrian broadcast.



Trips have never been more appropriate

Lost it at *angry bug noises*
Because of course you get eight trips. Of course you do
The world through Vekirs eyes are a strange place indeed...
She's eloquent in her native tongue.

Also fun fact, this version of her is as tall as Celly.
...88 has some weird perceptions of things.
No point of contention, she has no big how small or how tall the real one is
Good morning, /pa/ls.
Morning, anon.
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and I walk this empty street on the boulevard of broken dreams!!!

"I'm the pretty one <3"

'I'm the grumpy one...'

>And I'm the crazy one!

[Pinkie, I don't *burp* know why you keep doing that when there's no cameras around.]

>The camera is always on when we're around!

{Your majesty, thank goodness you're here! Um...are you okay?}

[No not really. Back-to-back dreams about rum.]

{Was it Berry Punch, again?}

[That's the funny thing, it wasn't her this time.]

>Uh hey, what's the situation?.

{You're bringing in civilian help?}

[Yes...uh no...here.]
Gives Pinkie, Cadence, and DT a badge.
[Congratulations you're now officially the P-Team.]


DT examines her badge gingerly.
'...another team.'

[Pinkie, I need your team to...do the thing...with the shadows...don't let them group up...and *mumbles*]

>Secure a safezone by clearing the area of low level shadows, so that they don't cause any nightmares, or attract Dream Eaters. If they group up we're going to have a bad time. Sounds easy enough.

[There you go. I knew you'd understand that.]

>I'm great at understanding nonsense!

[Good, don't disappoint me.]
Luna and the guard fly off.

"Do you think she'll be okay?"

A bright light flashes in the distance.

>Eh, she'll be fine. This is probably routine to her by now.
Blobs of shadows crawl by.

>You know the drill. PINK PONY PUNCH!



>The last one is going after that injured old couple! Hurry!
She runs.

"Old couple? No wait PINKIE!"
Before the shadow could strike the old lady opens wide and eats the shadow.

=Aw, that was going to be mine.=

=Sorry sweetie, you have to be fast if you want to eat.=
Pinkie slides to a stop as the old couple melt away to become dream eaters.

>[Another team

Eat shit, Aj!

>Lotta crabs.

"That is factually correct."

>Any chance you could just most all of them in one clear shot?

"Sure, if you don't mind me roasting everything. You included."

>Roast me anyday.

"Fair warning, if I do, it's about how goofy your hair looks. That's what I'm starting on, and I have a lot of material."

>Fair enough. So... classic style?

"A little bland. Do you want to ride me again?"

>Let's save that for a special occasion.

"So then, the thing?"

>Let's do the thing.

"...I'll get the hose."

>Huh. Looks like a whole bunch of the others left.

"Did you know any of them?"

>I mean, I know who 77, 32, JJ and 29 are. I don't think I've ever actually had an extended conversation with them. The others are just cards or other ones I don't recall ever speaking to.

"So, is something wrong?"

>...I feel weirdly left out, even though it would make absolutely no sense for me to want to go with them. It's like, my brain knows that there's nobody on that train that I actually like, but for some reason I got this feeling...

"Awww, you still got me sugar bean!"

>... yay.

"There you go!"

>Starting to worry that my mom is sucking out your brain power in addition to the love....

"Nahhh, never had much to begin with!"

>... I feel so sad now.

"It goes away in a bit, trust me."
>"...I'll get the hose."

Now....Now I'm worried
Shhhhh, no fears now, no tears now. Let it happen.

Just let it happen.
Wow, that's sad.
I am afraid of what is happening, where their little "thing" has escalated to.

It's not waterboarding, is it?

And what's this riding thing? I don't like being left in the dark here, what are they doing? DEAR GOD WHAT ARE THEY DOING?!
No idea what the hose thing is, but the riding thing is when he actually rode her during Cordyceps to fight ZomSpikeZilla

It was so silent, you could hear a pin drop. Or a large mallet dropping. Or really anything dropping, as anything would make a sound right then, really.

For instance, the panicked scraping of two hooves together by the pony with the largest, fakest smile they had ever seen on her pink face.

>...So, uh, who's up for some puzzles?

"Ohhhh no, we're not skipping over this."

>This? Nahhhh, it's nothing big, come on.

'Really? That's what you're going with, that it's not 'that' big.'

>Yepper! Not that big at all! You know what is big? Parcheesi! Have it right here on me!

[...Where did you get that?]

>I'm glad you asked, and I would like to explain it to you in full detail that totally makes sense and isn't random at all!

{Okay, now I'm worried.}

>Pffft, for whaaaat? Nothing to be worried about!

(Ah'm worried more about that then her, actually.)

>Why? It's not a big thing at all! Tiny little thing, really! Eeetsy weetsy teeny tiny itty bitty little thingy, that's all it is!

~...Pinkie, it's a-~

>It's a nothing.

"That's seriously a-"

>Nothing, that's what it is, a nothing.

'I'd really like to not be in the same room as the-'

>Nothing? Why, that's easy, you're doing it right now! Cause there's nothing here!


>Yep! Plenty of room for puzzles!


>Or Jenga. Who's feeling Jenga? Not over there because there's nothing over there, but I'm feeling it!





The pink pony's eyes went cross as she did her very best to think of any possible reason why there would be what looked to be a massive bomb, seemingly almost finished, stored away in her aunt's basement behind a wall of rum.

She looked to her friends, then the bomb. Then her friends, then the bomb. Then her friends, then to what appeared to be some sort of scaled up version of her party cannon, then the bomb. Finally, back to her friends.

Nobody can say she didn't try.

>...Would you believe it's a parade float?

'You know, I might, because it's so freaking huge it might as well be a parade float!'

(Iffin' it wasn't so big to be disqualified, ya' mean!)

>Good! Let's go with that! It's a disqualified parade float, done and done!



>...I think my Auntie may not have been joking when she said she really, really, really did not like... certain individuals...


>I mean, it's probably not active, but I'll check-


>Oh sure, now we can pretend it's not there!
...So, Pinkie's aunt was a proponent of "Race War Nao?"

Ahead of her time, that one.
It was a beautiful sight, that house in front of the pair. Utterly, truly beautiful.

>Oh thank goodness.

"Finally! We found the place!"

>We hope.

"You shut up."

>I'm just saying, the third time you go 'finally!' and then we break in and it's just a crazy old lady with cats, skepticism emerges.

"It was only twice with the cats!"

>Three times, that last lady had cats.

"More dogs than cats, though."

>Kind of splitting hairs.

"MY POINT IS! I'm sure that this, in particular, is the correct building. I'm one hundred percent positive."

>Can't end up any worse.


With all the stealth of a rhino, the dragon burst into the back window.

>...You've gotta be fucking kidding me.

"HEY BITCH! I... Uh... shit."

>Wrong house?

"No no, right house, I see pictures."

>Oh... so what's the problem?

"Come see for yourself."

It took far more struggling than the bulky cyborg pegasus wanted to admit, but eventually he too made his way into the home.


"Well... look."

>I don't see anything.


>...Oh. OHHHHH! Oh, okay. She's not home?

"Let's see. BLAM!"

He kicked the door to her bedroom in, nothing.


The bathroom, nothing.


The closet, nothing.

This continued for a while.

>Huh. Guess she's not home yet?

"Guess not?"

>Do we... wait?

"Guess we have to... oh oh! Let's sit in the corner and be all scary about it!'

>Yeah... okay, yeah! I feel it!

They turned out every light, shut every door, made it look as normal as possible, and took their seats in the chairs in the living room, putting on their best 'serious' looks.

Then they waited.
And waited.
And waited.

>...how long-

"SHHH!" She'll hear us if we talk!"

>But how long do you think she'll be?

"I obviously don't know."

>...they never show you this part in the movies.

"Yeah, kinda dull.... pshhooo... yep...."

>...This is gonna be a long day.
>They're sitting there
>For hours
>If not days
>Just waiting for them to come home
>In the dark
>Not talking
>Trying to keep a serious face on.
>Nothing's happening.
>One of them has to pee.

This is the comedy that gets cut out of every action movie.

>...What are you two up to?

"Solving the problem."

>With... a hose?

'The hose is vital, yes.'

>A hose. You both have abilities to form matter out of nothing, you can both cast spells from nothing that can do wondrous things, and yet when danger calls, your answer is... a hose.

"A hose is part of it."

>A hose. A simple piece of rubber stretched into a shape. Not a sphere of pure, raw magic, not the very power of the sun itself, a hose.

'The hose, yes.'

>...I'm in.

'We knew you were.'
I kinda want to just leave them there for threads on end, then 7 and Scientist lady comes back and finds a pair of skeletons sitting in the chairs and are confused.

>A bomb.

"I don't think it's as bad as you're making it."

>A bomb.

"It might've been useful against a badguy, you don't know."

>A. Bomb.

"It could blow up a really terrible thing no problem!"


"...Auntie set us up the bomb?"

>Pinkie, being random and kind of cringey isn't going to help.

"...then I am out of my element."


"It's not like I built it!"

'You can hang out with me.'




'...You uh... you want to talk about the weather?


'I think it's pretty nice for being in a dome.'


'...Did I ever tell you about the time I hoofwrestled a dragon?'




'...I like popcorn.'

>I'm aware.

'Do you? Do you have a favorite flavor? We could talk about that.'

>I'm good.





'...I'm going to go get a drink.'


'Kay... kay...'

"...I feel like progress was made!"


"Hey, it's better than I am with my mama."
...At least you tried?

Need to get some pointers from Shiny on being a good parent, Chitty.
Wow, I legitimately feel bad for her right there. She's actually trying. I mean, that's a real effort there, and 13 is just giving her nothing. Loosen up a little bit you unlucky bug
Wouldn't be the first time we did fuck all with characters for a ton of threads the abruptly brought them back.
That reminds me...


>Ok, so she's somewhere here in Detrot.

"You have kidnapped me, I want you to know this, you have kidnapped a royal of a foreign nation. This is an international incident."

>Okay, one, do you really think the Howling Pit would take me back? Look at me, I'm a fucking freak-

=Language, sir, this is a public train station.=

>-if anything, they'd try and dismantle me in order to figure out how to do this to themselves and steal gems with it.

"Aw, that's kind of sad."

>Two, your family hates you and probably thinks you're off in a brothel somewhere.

"...aaaand sympathy gone, fuck you dude."


>You'll be free to go the second we find Vekky and I can stop worrying about her weird Bug-Dad killing me.

"Hmm...now where the hell could she be? This is a giant city, riddled with crime, she could be anywhere."

'Hi Dog of Watches!'

"Or right behind us-"

Choo choo!

'Bye Dog of Watches!'

Chugga chugga chugga...

"That is JUST pulling out."






... I totally did forget about them completely, just gone.
I wanted to write them chasing Vekky around a bit (possibly with Anton), but decided that'd be stepping on CMC Anon's toes.
Having them constantly miss them would be funny enough.

There was only one thought on the six minds as they looked to the pony who had literally stretched herself over the door to their exit.

It was a deep struggle not to give in to that thought.

"Pinkie, we have to go report this."

>No we don't.

'Look, even I don't think it's safe for us to just leave this thing lying around, there's taking risks and then there is clearly a freaking bomb!'

It was a struggle that Dash, in particular, was losing when she grabbed a hoof full of her friend and pulled, only to be rewarded for her effort with a loud SNAP as she went back into place.

>It's fiiiiine, it hasn't gone off yet!

[Pinkie, Darling? I know that you treasure your aunt, most likely, and we surely will not do anything rash in the wake of this, but this has simply gone too far! We have to go tell someone!]

>We can't go out there! There's... crabs! Evil monster crabs who want to gobble ponies up and chew them up and spit them out! They're the worst crabs ever!

{I made those crabs.}

>See? Fluttershy gets it.

A familiar feeling rose in the orange princess, her horn already sparking and nothing short of several very troubling memories in her mind keeping her from striking out.

(Okay, sugar cube? Ya' need ta' move, now.)

>No I don't. This is fiiiiine, we can all just... watch the bomb together! Make sure it doesn't go anywhere and nobody touches it! Yeah! That's the responsible thing to do!

~Fine, some of us will stay here and watch it, and the others can go to the nearest building and-~


Impossibly, she somehow stretched even further over even more of the door.

>We can't!


>We just can't!

'Pinkie, we can't sit in this room with a bomb!'

>Yes we can, we can do that one! That one's fine! We just can't leave, that's the bad one!

A magical pull from a white horn, sadly, was as ineffective as the others.

[Pinkie! Stop this right now!]



The desperation was strong, enough so that any of the gathering power from the only one who could for sure match and exceed her own strange abilities was taken back, genuinely concerned.

{What's the matter? Why can't we leave?}

>Because... because...

With every side to side dart of her eye, her hair lost just a bit of poofyness, her coat just a bit of color, every time her mind strained and came up with nothing, she lost a little more.


~Because what!?~

>...B-because it's not fair.

Six riled beings, before so full of fire they could have combined and made their own sun, now felt so cold they could freeze the sea outside itself.

"Wh... what..."

She slid down, suddenly losing her unexplained elasticity as her rump met the cold floor below. Her head, her eyes, her mane, all of it turned downwards, all unable to stay up and excited any longer.

'H-hey, what's the matter now? What's not fair?'

Seeing her like that, their normally impossible to contain bubbling fountain of joy reduced to a mere puddle, took the wind out of all of them, even the one who had almost as much energy as herself.

Instead of replying, her friend remained dormant.

[Darling, talk to us, what's wrong?]

None of them approached her. Too worried that she might snap and run off, too afraid they might scare her, too afraid of a lot of things.

>...It's just not fair. This... we were all back together again.

{What do you mean? We're always together, Pinkie-}

>No we're not!

It was rare that her voice raised like that for anything else than an excited cheer, and it was not a welcome change when instead it came out a more desperate rasp.


The dragons claws reached out, hanging there in the air, before closing on nothing and pulling away.

>We used to be! We used to be always together, always doing the big adventures as a team, always helping each other and... and... we used to be like that, but we... we haven't.


There were tears in her eyes, real, honest tears falling as she looked to every single one of their stunned faces.

>We don't handle it together anymore, we don't do everything together anymore, we've all got our own stuff and we go off on our own ways and do our own things and... and... and it's not fair! It's not right! This isn't how we're supposed to be! We're supposed to be the Elements of Harmony, sticking together no matter what! But instead, it feels like we're always running off in our own directions, doing our own things, never really....

She trailed off, the gasps between her words too much to continue. She paused there, a dead stop to fill the following silence with nothing but the heavy breathing between it.

>...this was supposed to be just us, nobody else. No Celestia or Luna or Ponyville or Canterlot or our family or Chrysalis or Changelings or even Apploosans or anybody! Nobody but just us seven, just like it was back then! Just... all of us on an adventure, just like it was... and now.. and now...

Her hooves mashed to her flat hair, fraying it as it ruffled for all it was worth.

>It can't be over this soon... it can't be done already. I just... I wanted it to stay like this... for... for...

(For how long?)

Her question, blunt as it was, shocked all of the others every bit as much as it shocked the pink thing herself.

>I... I don't...

(How long did ya' want to do this?)


(Pinkie... how long?)

The tears came back, a little stronger this time.


"Oh, Pinkie..."

She choked up, looking away once again.

>I just wanted it to be like what it was before. Before you became princesses or chaos beings or wonderbolt captains or agents or whatever! I just wanted it to be like... in the old days.

(Was it?)

She didn't answer that.


>...I don't know. Some things are different, but... I wanted it to be like...


A slow, sad sigh spilled from between orange lips as the mare made her way over, taking a hard seat next to the earth pony, and finding she couldn't look to her either.

(Yeah... things are a lot different now, ain't they? Shoot... sad part is, Ah' kinda agree with you. Wish things had been like what they were before, when everythin' was a lot... Ah' dunno, simpler?)

'Oooh, that's the truth.'

Another body, more weight, hitting beside her just as hard as the rainbow maned mare leaned against the rocky wall.

'You know how much I wish everything was just as simple as a few weather forums? When I... you know actually still looked up to the Bolts? And didn't know they were, you know... taking some shortcuts?'

"You? What about me?"

Another hard hit, another body sat in that line.

"Learning Princess Celesita's kingdom was... uh.. let's just say, a little bit shaky? Not a good thing when you idolize her as much as I did. I didn't even know what I was supposed to be! I would give anything to take back all the robots and machines and stuff I let out into the world, back when everything was just... easier to deal with."

The body that joined them next was almost dainty in comparison.

[I certainly remember when my biggest concern was filling out a few dress orders. Now? I still don't know what I'm supposed to do!]

~Whatever it is, it can't be any worse then what I got up to.~

They barely even heard the dragon as he joined them.

Nor did they hear when one last, final body moved to the row as well. One last final friend, who didn't say a word, didn't voice a single thought about her own changes, and frankly didn't need to. With her their, their own problems felt almost... trivial. Yet, she never said a word.

>...Can't we just stay here? Just... never go back?


(We could.)

"Wouldn't be the first time a bunch of royal officials ran off."

'Could just leave those crazy ponies back home to deal with it all themselves.'

[Would certainly be fair after all they put us through.]

~Heh, let them deal with Equestria like it is, that'd be funny.~

>...Could we?

Silence hung over them all as they pondered this, really pondered it, really thought about what it would be like if they just left, ran off, started over somewhere else with a brand new world, a brand new life, a brand new everything. Just started again, from the top.

"...I couldn't go back if you all didn't."

It was as simple as it was obvious, and it came so easily.

"You guys... you're the whole reason I'm sane, you're the whole reason I got through any of that. Nightmare Moon, Discord, my own little episode... if I didn't have my friends, I couldn't have handled any of that, I wouldn't have made it through at all."

'Yeah, I don't think I ever could have been this awesome without you all.'

[I would simply have wasted away myself...]

{I wouldn't have ever managed to come out and... really talk to anyone.}

(Ah'm pretty sure Ah'd never have thought of anything but work as long as Ah' lived.)

"Yeah... I need you girls, so if you all ran off..."

They silence remained only for a second that time.

>...We made it, though...

Only for just as long as it took, for her to remember.

>We made it through... zombies, and giant monsters, and robots, and... and so many other things, didn't we?

(We did.)

>But... but we didn't do it together?


A hoof, strong as it ever was, brought her in.

(Yer' wrong about that one. No matter how far away you were... we did it together. This here? This connection... it don't matter how close we are.)

Another one joined them both.

'Even if we're not standing right next to each other, we're together, you know?'

And another.


[Because we always know that somewhere out there... our friends want to help us on.]

And another.

{And... and we'll always have that, nothing can take it away.}

And even a claw.

~Even if we don't have special magic necklaces to prove it.~

When one final hoof joined her, she was already gone.

"We were connected ever since we saw that rainboom. Ever since that day. Even though we weren't all there together, even though we didn't even know each other, we were connected. Pinkie... maybe we do handle some things alone, maybe we should do it more as friends, but regardless..."

(Yer' never alone, Sugar cube.)

There it was. The thing they had all been waiting for.

The puff to her hair, the light to her coat, the sparkle to her eyes. All of it was there, all of it was back. It returned when she returned the hug to all of them, it returned when she gripped them for all she was worth. All of it returned.

(You can say it now.)

>Nuh uh.

'Go on, you know you want to.'

>It's silly.

"We know... that's why we want you to say it."

[Because you're Pinkie, and you're a silly pony.]

{Go on...}

She smiled once more, like she had never smiled before.

>...You know you're all my very best friends.

And everything was right as it should be.

(Now, can we get rid of this dang thing?)

>Can we wait, just a little longer?

A look was shared, an answer reached, all without a single word.

"For you, Pinkie?... Always."

Things had been wrong for so long.

At last... it was fixed.
This is that shit, man. This right here? Friendship as fuck, and I love it.
Mmmmm.... missed some of that classic friendship magic.
>They give up
>Equestria goes to shit
>Chrysalis somehow takes over then tracks them down desperately asking to give it back
>Everything is awful
>They don't care, turnip farming is blowing the fuck up.

There's that heartwarming moment I was waiting for.
Right? I was actually a little worried this morning with the bomb, was like "Damn, am I gonna have to wait a couple days? GIMME MY PINKIE CD ALREADY!"
>"You have kidnapped me, I want you to know this, you have kidnapped a royal of a foreign nation. This is an international incident."

To be fair Siggy, you just got your ass literally dragged around by a giant dog and NOBODY STOPPED THIS.

Your parents never loved you.
>Cadence is never seen or heard from again, last noticed going into a Bursars office, all that came out were more and more stacks of paper. Attempts at entry were foiled by "So many.... his body it was... the papercuts... COMING OUTTA THE WALLS MAN
>18 breaks down and assumes the Pretty Princess Role, dolling herself up for whoever citizen she must please.
>Pommel shoots himself, just straight up, no hesitation. Execution style
>President "If it's a Ligger, pull the trigger" Pennydrop steals all of Twilights KNAWLEDGE and begins a Nanomachines, Son! driven race war against all the Changelings, then the moose... then gryphons... minotaurs....etc etc.
>Shining and Celestia are last seen hijacking a massive pleasure yacht with what witness called "an entire gym's worth of dumbells" and sailing out to where the Mareinas trench is located. Search teams later find the empty yacht, and later, deep sea divers notice the temperature of the water surrounding the trench had jumped upwards of 2 degrees near the surface, with hotter water further down. Experts are baffled.
>Glimmer walks up, wants to 'equalize' the whole world.
>Takes one look at that shit
>She builds a wall.
>Makes Mexicolt pay for it somehow
>Both parties involved are hundreds of miles away from each other and supremely confused as to how that happened
>Lavan is generally pleased and goes to play checkers with the Smooze for all eternity
>Neither have an even basic grasp of the rules

>...A hose?


'It is vital to the plan.'

>There's a plan?

[Don't look at me, I didn't make it.]

>I'm in.

"...don't you want to-"

>I'm totally in.

'You sure you don't wanna-'


[...you're a dick.]
>Chrysalis didn't make the plan

All she fucking needs to know, thank you.
>Discord wishes someone would remember him.
>Nobody does.
Guys this is nice and all, but uh... bomb?

Fucking bomb?

There's a fucking bomb in the room you need to deal with that.

>...Are you going to ask me about stallions in my life next?

'If you want me to kill someone, you just have to ask, don't have to make stuff up.'


"Can I get in on that?"

'I don't give out my kills willy nilly!'


>What if I told you I wanted to sleep with Shining Armor like... way too many changelings, thinking about it.

'Done and done, be right ba-'


'Make up your mind!'
Hey! Very few mothers would hunt down and murder someone just cause you asked, don't be a little bitch about it.
To be fair, what's it going to do? It's been dormant for YEARS apparently. Unless Spike kicks it or something, they're fine.
Goodnight, thread.

Hmm... Not Spike... but maybe...Two Skidoo, you can too
Good night, anon.
...mother of god....

I know right!?
Page 9 bumb! Holy shit that was close
We are slowly growing complacent. Won't be long until we will accidentally let it die again.
The first time was entirely not our fault, there was high traffic that time... the other... I think it was a holiday so not many of us where on.

But yes, we are slowly but surely failing to uphold the thread. I think we just need somethings to shake things up.
> what does this button do..

>I swear, I thought it was gonna give me mah mallys!

"Why would you even think that!?"

>Because that's what my Mally Machine looks like!

"... Who would make a Marshmellow Machine that looks like a bomb!"


"... Oh yeah that's right..."
That's what you get for hiring discord to be your damn appliance designer.
Hey, he saved that kingdom hundreds of thousands of dollars. It's totally worth the fact that everyone is worried it is going to explode.

>...What are you doing with that hose and with that tub?


'It's a plan, you see.'

[Chrysalis was not involved.]

{Stop saying that!}

>Uh huh... does the plan involve punches?

"Not woven into the plan to the point it couldn't be removed, no."

>But punches are on the table.

'Sure, if you want.'

>...I suppose I could join in.

[Really? They didn't even say yes.]

>It's better than not having punches.

{What a rich and diverse life you lead.}

>...I like punches..
The problem is, I noticed, when we take the characters and group them all together it limits the stories others can really do (LNPP not included). And we have all or mains in one area waiting for the other to completely fuse the stories (one side was waiting for Pinkie and then we probably wait on Cadence for them to leave). As for everyone else
>CMC, Vekir, and Winnoa only gets one update a thread
>Gryphons just got there first mention since Gwen stormed out of the Empire last month (real time few days story time).
>Watchdog has appeared in less than 20 threads
>Background lings are in the stadium not fucking things up
>Our second string of The Named Guards, Sunset, Daw, Cheerilee, Acty, JJ, 77, 32, and 29's crew are all together on their own thing but the writer is taking their time getting off the ground.
>Luna is just putzing about
>Filthy and Fancy are doing their own investigations for their own reasons (along with some unnamed Crystal pones)
>12, Screwloose, and Coco are helping Fancy
>Flim and Flam, Bloodblood, Arana, servant bot+prisoners and the trader morloks are all in the Dungeon's Flat
>7 is off doing things that can't be revealed because he needs Fluttershy no matter if it is good or evil (his girls are as relevant as him)
>Flash and Fizzle are waiting for 7 to kick their asses (which since the booty calls are at hotels they are going to be waiting a while)
>56(with trapling), 22, & his Child are all in the empire waiting for things to blow over
>Glimmer, Potsticker and the rest on the night/Crystal guard are as relevant as the changelings closest to them.
>Jetset and Harshwinny are in the castle
>the ponyville pones had their reaction for the arc
>DT&SS are unaccounted for but it is assumed back home since their storyline for this arc has been dropped.
>88 and Lavan are off doing their thing.
>Chitty is just dealing with random interactions from Crystal pones and trying to chit chat with 13 and Sweet Note
>And Fuzzy and the Buzz are on air
Jesus we have a huge, active cast. Like, it's amazing how many of those get stories all the time, despite being so insanely huge of a number of characters.

That said, I think this problem goes away when we combine the camps, we kinda ran out of jokes for just the main six alone in a shack. Not to say it's not impressive we managed two and a half threads out of 'ponies in a shack', but still.
>Jetset and Harshwinny are in the castle
Are they in the castle or on the outskirts of the castle? I think the last story was the one where 56 had left and they were in the forest still, right? I had a thing I wanted to do that needed them still in the forest, unless I misread.
They made it to canterlot proper but not the castle grounds. You can have them back in forest because "MUH QUEEN" isn't in yet no problem.
Outside of the castle, but in Canterlot, I remember that. Cause they were getting side glances from Canties and could see something was up in the castle.

That said, Jet just learned his queens both are gone, and he was only going to the castle to see them, he could turn around if he wants.
we are going to need an intervention for 42's punch addiction.
You can't intervene away Autism, anon
Have Caddy offer to hug her every time she wants to punch.

Will clear that shit right up.

"Wouldn't you rather hug instead?"



"And down she goes... wow, I hope nobody ever exploits this in a fight."

"Ya' gonna be okay?"

It was a shaky nod, but an assured one that answered her. Certain, if sad, of what had been and what needed to be done.

>Yeah... it was fun while it lasted...

'You know, we don't have to leave, we can just get rid of this thing and come right back.'

[Yeah, we'd rather stick around with the best party pony in the world instead of hanging out in some hotel or something.]

She sniffled a bit, her bottom lip wibbling in tune with the sparkles in her eyes.

>R-really? Even though it's all sandy and scratchy and we have to sleep on the floor with no sleeping bag?

{...well those are rather-EEEEEImean, yes! Of course, darling! We'd much rather be with you!}

To her credit, Applejack hadn't had to stomp her hoof THAT hard.

(It's just more... fun if we're all together, right?)

~I don't know about you guys, but I've been having fun so far... nice giant monster notwithstanding.~

>Yeah... yeah! It has been fun!

"Sure has. Let's drop this here thing off and then get back ta' enjoyin' ourselves for as long as this here investigation takes! Ain't gonna last forever, let's enjoy it!'


'So, which way to the nearest house? They should have a way to contact the guard from there.'


[...Pinkie? You okay?]

>I um... have a confession...
>(his girls are as relevant as him)

...For some very strange reason, this made me think of Charlie's Angels, but with 7's monster things.
>"'Good morning, Seven!"'

~Good morning angels!~

*Images of Buttercup and Bubbles in leather posing with guns, while a vauge shadow is in the background doing poses*

Dooo do dooooo, do do do dooooo do do doooooooo.

...Fuck I'd watch it.

The battle of a dozen crabs raged in front of them. Where there had just been two had grown, and grown, and grown, until there was a mass of clacking, pinching bodies, all enthralled in a battle.

Off to the side stood a group. A very special group.

A very special, smiling group.

>You guys ready?



[Have no idea what we're doing but I guess I'm ready?]

{I am always ready.}

^I'll help you daddy!^

(I'll mess them up!... Or not mess them up!... Or tickle them, heck if I know, but we're doing this!)


~...So am I the only one that wants even a sort of answer? Just a vague hint here? I have literally no idea why I am holding this hose.~



A crab was launched into the air, disappearing into the distance.

>...Wrong lever.

"What was that anyway?"

~Wait, that wasn't you!? Why do we have that lever!? Why would that be here!? That is so dangerous!~

>No time for that! Pull the real lever!

~Don't you ignore me!~

They ignored him, and pulled the real lever.

>Hey, crabby!

As one, they all stopped, and looked at him.

>You all need to chill out!

'...Wait what-'

No time to explain, the hose erupted, just as they expected a hose would.

Only, in stark contrast to the normal behavior of hoses and what they tended to spray, something else came out of that nozzle besides water.

There was a FWOOOSH!
Even louder still there was a SCREEEEEE!

Nobody had any idea what to say at that point.

'...Is that hose spraying fire?'



The two elated alabaster ponies chased the fleeing things down, cackling with glee as the terrified things raced every which way.

~...Why... why is it fire?~

=...I'm home...=

~That makes it so much worse.~


{Which one is Pinchy?}

^... Shoot.^


[So are we going to stop them or-]

(Join in?)

[I was going to say-]

(I heard join in, wooooo!)


{Can I light my punches on fire?}


~...Screw it. FIRE FOR THE FIRE GOD!~


The world descended into laughter, into fire, and into the burning of crabs.

All the while, inside of her own little room, a certain princess was trying not to have an ulcer fighting off the urge to go join them.



She kept on writing.

Even if it killed her.
...Huh. That was a very Chrysalis thing Shiny and Celly just did.

Maybe she is a bad influence on them...
Oh man, i just realised

















"...This is kinda nice"

To be fair, we all knew he was going to die some way doing this shit.

Might as well be in hellfire.

"Oh, I've got hoses for everything! That one shoots cool ranch dressing!"

>What does that one do?



"...I'm preparing."

>Is it still good?

"When does it go bad?"

>About fifty years, if the solvent is right.

"...N-no, it's not any good..."

Unless she's taking assuredly not pony-sized, she wouldn't need any of that....

>What about that one?

"Ice smoothies."

>That one?


>That one?



"...I don't know if they're still alive, let's check!"


"Yep! Still alive!"
Anon, ask the neared male with a fluffy mustache what other uses there are for lube, you're about to discover a whole new world.

"Ok! Ok! Uhmmmm, Aha! This looks like water!"


"Hold your breath-"


"*sniff* sniff*... wait, is that?-"

"....You know, I don't know what this one does-"






~Hi sweetie!~
"Is that where you've been the whole time!?"

~What are you talking about? I've been over there the whole time.~

"Over where!?"

~Just off camera.~


~Hi by the way, don't fuck my daughter unless you marry her.~

>Faustmom is secretly always there, we just can't see it.

>>Our second string of The Named Guards, Sunset, Daw, Cheerilee, Acty, JJ, 77, 32, and 29's crew are all together on their own thing but the writer is taking their time getting off the ground.

I wouldn't mind helping kick that into gear.

What's Puerto Burro like? Like, what's the main focus, the central 'theme' to base most of the gags around? I got that it's a toruist trap, but in what sense? Is it like a Mexicolt knockoff, a crappy version of Disneyland, what?

Can get some gags rolling with that right fast.
Its Puerto Rico. an island that thrives entirely off of tourism. So in the "look at all these pretty paces and culture" type of trap.
Also, rum. I believe rum exports are their number one source of income. At least, that's what the tour guide told me.

I just realized that while you guys were all sending them to Puerto Burro, I was vacationing in Puerto Rico.
Actually, seems to be manufacturing.

...And a lot of childlabor and political fuckery...

The train let out a whistle as it came into the station, letting the newest batches of tourists off to their beautiful coastal destination for what was sure to be a time of fun they would always remember, just as soon as they got past the endless gift shops choking the entrance. As expected, there were greetings signs ready and waiting. A small cabal of showponies waited below the banner, the mares standing alongside a stallion in the center waving and smiling all the while, waiting for the occupants of the train they had heard was rather stuffed with Crystal Empire tourists, which they knew very little of save the fact they lived in an entire city of precious gems.

Needless to say, they had brought out the good banner, and the shop owners were getting ready the second the doors opened.

When they did, something certainly spilled out, but there was one problem.

>Ahhh! Puerto Burro! The land of rich statues, rich views, and the very best scallops you could ever find, true story!

"Uh, Thirty Two?"

One problem.

>Yes, it's just like I remember it, the sun, the sand, I even remember all these tacky gift shops!

'Buggo? Uh...'

>Oh! Look! There's that massive statue of Celestia!... Does she know about that? I feel like she would have a problem with that.

[Brother? There's an... issue.]

A teeny, tiny, itty bitty problem.

>Ahhh, I can smell the sea! Can't wait to get back in the edge of the water with no less than sixteen ropes tying me to the shore because I'm just realizing it's terrible!

{Speaking of terrible...}

An itty bitty tincy wincy... problem.

>Well! Where should we go first-


>Rude, I was speaking! What is the problem?

She pointed, and the answer became quite clear when he saw the look on their faces.

>...Oh, right.


>How rude! I'm a changeling!


'Told you so!'

>...this is going to be a fun trip.
....Oh yeah, nobody who didn't actually see a picture of the things would actually know what a changeling looks like.

Well, that's gonna be freaky when you're expecting crystal canadians.

>You know, Trixie didn't want to admit it, but this is probably for the best.

"Indeed I agree, right now he needs time away. It will be good to cut loose and play."

>Yeah, just something in a new place that's nice, relaxing, and no suspicion or-




>...They... they do know a changeling is around these parts, right?




"No no, he needs to let it all out. Cover your ears before he lets out his shout."

>His wha-


Just can't escape it, can you?
Oh yeah, politics over there are FUCKED and they are in some deep shit debt wise, with the whole system just being a fucking pain.

Unless we're talking about some "they stumble across a crime ring and the Guard get to prove themselves taking down a corrupt government" thing, I dunno what you're getting at.

>...did we go too far?

She looked around slowly, surveying the land filled with flaming crabs, a changeling so tiny darting in and out while screaming for 'pinchy', a maniacal laughter shaking the heavens from the the breast of the tentacle maned supervillain as she joined in with glee, the moves of the flying ball of flaming punches that lashed out at anything that moved, watching the pegasus with colors so familiar to those down below swooping in and out with more fuel for the flames, and to the multicolored maned changeling who watched side by side with a giant wall of smoke who stared on in abject disbelief.


>What about her?

Only now did she notice the changeling Queen beside her, looking to them both.

Smiling with pride.

"...w-what have we become..."


Eh, there WAS a thing mentioned in Pommel's story about Camels being slavers.

That was in some other place called Puerto Caballo though.
Could be fun, turns out they got the name wrong, discover an underground slave ring, 5 guards VS badguys.

Might be a little too big, though.

>...Are you fuckin' serious.

"Huh. You know, good thing we found this out now, that fire would've been... um... distinct."

>...Did you-


>Just checkin', ya' got crazy there.
Could be a fun little Indiana Jones-esque scene, get a few of the changelings in on it, that'd generate some good press. Hard to spin 'Joint operation destroys underground slave ring' in a bad way.
Funny enough, I'm already noticing a way they could stumble across it without it seeming out of nowhere...

All because they literally dragged him along.
You talkin' bout Ghostkids, a whoo hoo?
Life is filled with comedy pain, thanks to, ghost kids!

Broken carts lasers it's a shame, what made, ghost blurs!

Might solve their mystery, or hear their history!

Ghost kids, A WHOO HOO!

Everyday he's tryin' to help them ghostkids, a whoo hoo!

Tales of death good bad and unlucky tales, whoo hoo!

D-d-dangers are behind them!

He was a stranger out to remind them!

That they need to let go of them ghostkids, a whoo hoo!

Everyday their out there helping ghostkids, a whoo hoo!

Tales are scary with just their bad luck tales, whoo hoo!

No phony tales these kids are dead it's GHOST KIDS!

Fucking phone.

You sir, you deserve a cookie.





Where's Vekir these days?

18 engaged to Shiny yet?

Do we have an up to date story count?
>Where's Vekir these days?

On an odessy with the CMC and Winona across Equestria, it's fucking hilarious and occasionally involves saving the world.

>18 engaged to Shiny yet?
No, that got kinda put on hold thanks to Cadence's secret being revealed and the fallout leading up to this beach arc.

>Do we have an up to date story count?
Vekky's hanging out with the CMC and Winona, just left Detrot
Uhhh, no clue

What horrors lie before them.

Fires, far and wide as they could see. The remains of what had once been endlessly battling foes, giant creatures eager and ready to destroy them and all they loved brought low by a hose, and a flame. A graveyard, a monument, to the folly of the thought that one could face the glory of nature, and all she had created in her gentle embrace and bred to survive in her harsh world, without leaving their mark on this world. The thought they could loose from this world what she had wrought without the will to survive was a fools thought indeed, and never could they see more the truth in this than in the wasteland they had made from shimmering, shining sands. They had taken from this earth, but it had not given it lightly.


But Two found her favorite crab, so on the whole it was a pretty good day.

"Two! Get down from there!"


She proved her point to her poor worried father by faceplanting hard against his flat, disklike shell, hugging him without being able to stretch more than a couple inches across his massive carapace. To his credit, the crab did seem to have some semblance of recognizing that his fellows had all just met a fiery end and no longer seemed to hunger for the supple flesh of the living, that was something.

"Pfft, let her keep it."

"She's not keeping it! I told you that you couldn't have a pet yet!"

"He ain't mah pet, MAH BUDDY!"

"He's not your buddy! He's a giant crab!"

"Crabs can be buddies, RACIST!"

"Who taught you that!?"


No amount of innocent whistling could take away his glare.


"That's not what that means, Maney!"


The ghostly shape of the ex-king sighed as he was snapped at, no matter how futile, by the monstrous thing. He would smack a hoof to his face at her antics if only he had a hoof to do it.

"Pinchy no! Bad!"

Again, to it's credit, the crab realized when it needed to stop pinching.


Oh, how he wished for that hoof.

"I want you to know, this was all massively unnecessary. You all could very easily have defeated them without the fire."

The laughter he was met with was expected.


"Hurmph, it added quite the kick to my punches, wouldn't you say?"

"Isn't that a contradiction?"

"...Shut up, Eighteen."

"And for your information, I call my big ring thing a 'fireboom', so it counts."

"And of course, I mean, I do control the sun regardless, this is kind of my thing."

He found it hard to argue with any of that.

"Wait, izza the sun made of fire?"

"Yes? What else would it be made of?"

"Auntie Twilight says it's made of gas."

"...Remind me to smack her when I get the chance."

"Or don't. You could always not do that."

No matter who they were, no matter what they were doing, that voice was plenty to make them stop, and turn.

It was also enough to make certain ones hug.



Or scream.


"Well, hi to you Spitfire."

Or wave.





Or glare.


"Ahem... um.... w-we can put aside that whole... unfortunate business back in the Empire aside for a vacation, can't we Eighteen Darling?... No? The hate in your eyes seems to say no..."


Or playfully shove.

"HAH! I knew these crabs had to come from you. Way to go, Fluttershy! Finally learning to party and have some fun!"

"Um... it was actually an accident, Chrysalis... where are they anyway-NOOOOOO!"

"Is this a bad time to mention Crab is delicious?"


Or even just respectfully shake.

"Forty Two."
"Having fun?"
"I'm having fun."

Or, in one particular case....

"Now, what's that there look for?"

"Fair warning, Applejack, and I say this with kindness, one sentence that starts with any variation of my name and "Got a question", and I will turn this world to ash."

"...Fair enough?"


It was a time of excited words, a time of sharing and shoving, stories and jokes. It was a time to connect once more.

"You've seriously just been down the beach?'

"Yeah... Pinkie wanted some us time, hope you don't mind?"

"Nahhhh, gotta do your own thing, LSBFF."


"But seriously, where have you been staying? This is the only house for miles."


It was also a time to share new, exciting information.

"A BOMB!?"


"She wasn't gonna use it, probably! Don't you go after my auntie!"

And less exciting information.

"What do you mean, the train isn't coming!? We have to get rid of the bomb!"

"It's just like we said, the train dropped us off and said it would return when the castle sent it this way."

"So we're stuck here!?"

"I guess we should just seal it off."

"Or blow it up!"

Everyone simply pretended that the Queen hadn't said that.

"You were thinking it!"

"I guess we'll have to seal it off for now. In the meantime, I'll bet you guys are happy to get away from that crappy shack. We'll make some room here. Right girls?"

"First one who makes a move for my room not named Shiny, gets cut. I will cut you. I will not feel bad."


"I have room for anyone not named Rarity and or Rainbow Dash."

"What did I do!?"

Instead of answering, Forty Two merely stuck out her hoof, and received a bro-bump in turn from Spitfire.

"Point taken."

"Ahem, actualllyyyyy..."

There was a playful twinkle in their eyes as they looked to each other. Seven sets that said an entire mountain of words to one another with merely a glance.

"Iffin' ya' could just give us some tents... think we're gonna stick it out back there."

"You sure?"

It didn't even need to be asked.

"Well... okay. You all want to stay around for dinner?"

"Is it crab?"

"It is not crab."

"Not for you, maybe."

Again, they just pretended the Queen had not spoken.

"Well then, lets go get ready!"

"Pinchy! Help me set the table!"



"This is why I said burn them all!"

"Not the time, Eighteen!"

"I'm the sensible one!"

The trio of Shining, Celestia and Eighteen were off, leaving behind plenty of laughter in their wake.



"I warned you, Majesty!"

"No you didn't!"

"...I feel the sting of betrayal, Spitfire."

"Telling it like it is!"

Chrysalis, her most loyal subject and the ex-captain of the Wonderbolts were off next, tearing away from the uproarious response seeing such a panicked state on the otherwise unflappable changelings.

Which meant, in the end, there was only one left.


"Hello, Sombra!"

It was only mostly awkward.

"...I think I hear them calling me."

"Ah' don't hear anythin'."

"No no, I'm sure I hear them."

"Um... it's pretty quiet."

"...I'm going to go see what they want. Nice seeing you all, ponies who I never talk to."

With all the grace of a ballerina buffalo, his ghostly form turned and raced off with all he was worth.

"...So, are you all thinking what I'm thinking?"

Like a hivemind, they all did indeed share the same thought. The same wonderful, awful, terribly amazing thought.

"Pinkie... ya' still got them jars of pickles and some balloons?"

Oh, what a vacation this would be.

Prank wars ENGAGE!

Brother against sister, old bitter rivals out to show each other up, and insanity wielding maniacs caught in the middle of it all!

What are 41 and Suckerpunch up to?

Did Sombra ever get his body?
>What are 41 and Suckerpunch up to?

In Puerto Rico ponyworld version with a bunch of the other side cast having a vacation because they temporarily can't go back to the castle.

>Did Sombra ever get his body?


Well shit, we're close enough for this.

>So, wait, did you eat that crab?

"Yeah, why?"

>Because it's made of chaos.




~~~Hours later~~~~

"HGNNNHHHAHhhhhhhh... wooo, talk about a dump. I feel like I just shit out a- OH SWEET MERCIFUL FUCK!"


>Chrysalis is literally attacked by her own shit


>So we're just gonna prank these fellows or somethin'?


>Ain't that kinda bad with two of them hatin' two of ours?

"Nahhhhhh. What's the worse that could happen?"



>...This is how we die...


"What do you mean? We only left this morning."



>I hate your magic. So much.

-Shalalalala no surprise, ya gotta go on out and find your eyes~!-

'Vekir has never seen the singing animals so active before.'

-Shalalalala Don't look sad, we're gonna cheer you, show it's not so bad~!-

'Oh, they have all begun to perform the acrobatics!'

"Choreography, this pleases me."

>Can't see it, I'll take your word for it.

-Shalalala It's a crime, that you can't see us, but it buys us time~!-

>Wait, what?

-Shalalalala Don't look now, we're a distraction while your friends are froggy chow~!-


'Oh no, hold on tiny bugs, we are coming!'

"Can I hear how the song ends first?"


-Shalalala, oh no no, look at the time, we simply have to go~!-


Pew pew pew!

"Disney references, this pleases me."



"What did you just make?"

>I have forged this sand, INTO A DICK TO FUCK! CHRYSALIS! UPPPPP!

"...But aren't you guys okay now?"

>...Oh, right, that was a thing.





"Nice glass dildo?"

>I thought so. Soooo... since this is an omake-

"No thanks."


>...All alone with a dick in your claw again, eh Spike? See, I can burn myself too, it's not that hard.
Is that unlock?

>Applejack and Rainbow Dash ride some sea turtles.
>Rarity and I make bets on the crabs.
>Twilight is a gropey drunk.
Triple unlock in a twopart post! >>26140964
>Fluttershy might be a stealth pervert.
It's... pretty subtle. >>26135694
>Spike makes "dragon glass" from sand.
He's very creative.>>26193604
>Berry Punch would have liked that hug.
She doesn't get it.>>26147266
>The Crusaders figure out how somepony can get a smoking pipe as a cutie mark.
Who was hired by someone dumb enough to hire a guy named 'snitchy' .>>26165240

Not sure if we did
>inflatable fanservice!
We did. >>26138521

Inflation VIa apples and some fanservice for ones who... don't quite like Chrysalis. How fitting for the 2yr anniversary.
Magic apples too, so it's extra fitting.

It takes a dragon to burn a dragon.
The self burns hurt the worst...

She had gotten what she wanted, the damned little thing, even though it had torn him apart to do. But she had a desire, she had the information, and he needed to deal with both for this, his mission that was his life now.

How... how he hated i-


...How he hated hims-


...He hated every-


>For the love of Faust, let me go!

Something, some force, kept him tethered to that bed.

It was probably the hooves.

>You got the screentime, let me go!

Damn her, she was probably trying to tempt him from his mission.

He could not, would not, let her do that.


The messy maned, smiling face looked up to him, completely delirious with the look of someone who would stop at nothing from reaching the end, and marred with confusion that he ever thought he could try.

She was a powerful enemy.

"What screentime?"

>Appearing in the story, of course.

"...Oh? I did?"

Playing so coy, like this wasn't the whole point.

"Oh! You got me a gig? You're the best fiance ever!"


"Come... oh! You want to go again? Okay!"

She jumped up, no doubt to pin him down once again. But this time, he was quicker.


Literally, since he slid out from under her and made it to the window pretty face.

>Sorry, but if you were trying to stop me from my mission... you don't know Shining.

"...stop you from your what now?"

He lept backwards, out the window.


For one so smart, she could be a fool it seemed.

She hadn't even noticed it when he pulled out the remote.

Or when he had placed the bombs, during.

"Oh no oh no-... Are you falling very slowly? How... how are you doing-"


"...Wait wha-GAH!"

Boom went the bombs.

He was free.

>That's how we do it



His mission awaited-


Oh shit.


He was back on the road in no time, leaving behind a wall of fire and a lot of questions.

Pity, all he had for answers... was his hoof.

And punches.

[Sorry pal, we can't let anyone else into the club-]

Two answers he was more than willing to dole out when he reached his next step for information in his mission.



He left the stallion squirming on the floor, no time for that shit.

[That was so uncalled for! It's a fire hazard! It's a fire hazaaarrdddd! I'm not even a bouncer I was just here to tell poniessss!]

No time for that shit at all.

He found his way to the back of the club, where they were waiting.

Where... 'she', was waiting.

The pony in the stunning red dress, laid out over a couch in her own private room, sipping on a glass of stunning red wine. One look, and he knew.

>You have what I want.

'So I do.'

Her accent was thick as it was enticing. Every bit as much with the sway of her body as she leaned over to lay the glass down.

'It's been so long, I don't even remember being in this series. Did I have a joke? A theme? I... don't remember. All I have... is this.'

Slowly, she set it down.

Next to her cello.

'But you can change that, can't you?'

>...If you can give me what I want, to find those responsible... and take them down.

'Mmmm... I can.'

She stretched out her hind leg, showing everything off.

'But are you willing to give up... the goods?'

>Depends... what's your opinion on that dress?

She smiled.

'I fucking loath this dress.'

He smirked. And he got on that couch.

>I guess you won't mind if I damage it?

'...tear it apart.'


That smirk grew feral and his teeth found her shoulder.

'Oh yes, now we can-'



-Hey, Tavi! I got another gig at the Dubstep Annex... ohhhh, somethin' going on? Ehhhh?-


-Really Tavi, gotta put a sock on the door or something!-


-Woooeeee, nice catch too. Heya big guy!-


-Your wha?... OHHH! Oh shit, that's the guy!-

'Yes that is the guy, now get out-'

-Can I get in on that?-

'WHA!? NO!'

-Come ooooooonnnn, I need me some screentime bad!-


-I need some too! We can both do this!-

'No we can't, it doesn't work on both!'

-Is that true?-

>...uh, actually...


>...It did work that one time...

-Don't leave me out in the cold, pllleeeease?-


-Awesome! You're the best, Octavia!-

'Just so you know, I am going to put all of my hate THROUGH you so she feels it. She will literally feel the vibrations of my hate THROUGH you.'


They both got into position, getting ready to give him the ride of his-

-Oh, by the way, we're playing dubstep during.-


So, it was true this whole time.

He was in hell.


Rumble rumble...
"GASSSP!...W-why did my apartment explode?"



"Who, my future husband?"


"How do you know who I'm talking about?"


"... oh my! So we are married! YAY!"


"Oh... okay! If you say so... you are, like... my boss, miss Rarity. How have you been, by the way?"


"...I always knew my worklife and homelife would clash..."