How would you convince your waifu to have sex with you?
Probably whip dick out and ask if we're doing this or not
Convince her it's for the sake of scientific research.
It's fluttershy so I'd probably have to date the bitch for like a year before she let me slam. It'd be worth it though. Her cottage might start to stink from me jacking off all over the place in the mean time though.
>Not Lifting everyday to get them mad gains.
>Not using the gains to attract your waifu.
>Not taking your waifu and pounding her pussy with the help of your massive glutes.
>Being a beta bitch who probably cums teaspoons.
It's like you don't even want to fuck your waifu.
You already know bad bitches love them gains.
You're a human.
She's a pony.
She would not be sexually attracted to a different species.
Don't even think about bringing up Lyra
I, sir, am actually a bit of a hasgains myself. I once had a massive seizure in my bedroom while wearing nothing but my underwear from doing too much cocaine and the female paramedic that showed up was miring. Told me in the back of the ambulance that I a was "a good looking kid" while she was giving me a speech about not doing drugs.
>implying your waifus would want anything to do with you
>implying your waifus would want to fuck you
Get it together, guys.
It's the magical land of equestria.
They have several races and kinds in that land.
You need only look at EQG to see that ponies can be attracted to humans. twilight spergal became attracted to flash dill weed. Pones can be thirsty for monkey dick. It happens.
So my point still stands nigga. You have to have the gains if you wanna smash that horse pussy.
>Waifu not wanting you
Clearly you don't lift. Otherwise you'd have a better attitude.
>poisoning your body with drugs
>Risking precious lifting time with a seizure
>NOT FUCKING THAT PARAMEDIC.
YOU ARE A SHAME TO ALL BIG GUYS EVERYWHERE. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO LIFT.
>Candle light flickered inside Twilight's eyes.
>You are to distracted by the absolute beauty to even pay attention to the lessons in magic she is trying to teach.
>"Anon, are you even listing!?"
"Uhm, yes I am, I'm just trying to put the whole quantum mass relevance to the teleportation destination in my head."
>She looks at you with those big lavender eyes. God she's cute...
>You finally realize you can't hide your feelings from her any longer.
>You decide it's best not to do it here and now...
'Maybe Rarity can help me out' you think in your head. I'll head over to her place tomorrow and see.
>You continue to listen to Twilight's words as each one enters your ears like velvet.
This is it Anon... your gunna get her. And maybe a little extra...
My first green text. will continue if not voted shit tier.
"OOOWWWW Not so tight Rarity,"
>"Oh, stop your whining Anon. Its a well know saying, 'pain is beauty'"
"Yeah they're just pants though..."
>"Well the human garmets still escape me in their design."
>you take a deep breath...
"Rarity, can I ask you something?"
>"Well of course darling... what is it?"
"Well... what is it girls like in a guy?"
>"Hmm... I'd have to say passion, a sense of humor, understanding,"
>She moves her snout to right above your ear. Her hot breath tickling your lobes.
>"A nice big fat one to please her at night..."
>As she says "fat" she grabs your legs and begins to take off your newly designed pants with her magic.
surprise my waifu is Rarity
Just play some good old Indie-Rock and all the Equestrian pussy is in your human hands
Jousting/fencing. Beat down the whole royal guard with one or another, the rest should come naturally.
I so wish I had kept playing the piano when I was a kid rather than stop altogether once my parents stopped forcing me to take lessons. I would have been drowning in pussy by the time I got into high school. Unfortunately I didn't have the appreciation for classical music back then that I do now.
>if you like how i joust with a sabre, you should see what i can do with my penis
I just imagine you whipping your penis out, saying en garde, and proceeding to fence with Celestia's butt until you lunge into her pussy. Don't even get me started on jousting...
I've got a couple options with this mare.....hmmm
Well I am an engineer, so I'd sign up with her firm as an engineer.
I'd help her company do some designs, help her make some dramatic improvements to her equestrian games or what ever faggy shit she's doing, by adding some human sports to it, and innovations they no doubt haven't considered in stadium design.
Eventually I'd catch her eye. Not as a lover, but as a super valuable employee. She'd invite me to a luncheon to discuss my future in her firm.
Some things will roll along, and eventually I'll be one of her confidants. As is the way with someone who is groomed to help a leader.
I would trap her in little luncheons of my own. Disguising them as important meetings that she should attend privately. All the while networking and slowly undermining her.
When the day comes, I will insure she falls from grace, dramatically. Losing everything as publicly as possible, humiliated before the Equestrian Athletic Association.
And who should step up to salvage her 'mistake' but me. Overthrowing her subtly. Saving the day, and making a page in that companies history.
Once I outrank her, I can than show some 'generosity' and offer her a position as my own confidant. A position she'd no doubt take, considering her reputation is ruined. Many would think this was because I had a soft spot for her, she'd no doubt think the same.
Than realizing that I had single handedly rescued her from complete termination, She will grow to be grateful to me.
And it is this gratitude that I would manipulate into forcing her into becoming my waifu.
Ms. Harshwhinny, my secret little fling, so unprofessional, yet so irresistible. My only dirty secret that she'll ever know of.
AND THAT'S HOW I'D FUCK THAT BAD BITCH!
I think it would take years though.
>intruding the castle
>overpowering the royal guard
>all the while thinking this'll get you her affection
>you confront her
>she's looking at you with eyes like saucers, sweating profusely
misunderstand this as arousal
>the first time you speak to her today
>also, it has been a couple of weeks since you've last seen her
"If you like how I joust with a sabre, you should see what I can accomplish with my penis!"
First one was mine, you other guys owe me new sides.
I would serenade my Dashie. And she shall show her feminine side. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHpkWcnODms
The only problem with piano is that it's not as portable as some other instruments. They're heavy, good ones are expensive, and you need an outlet to play electric. I wish I could play like I do now back in high school. Would've been much more impressive.
I would love to read it, but with one little change.
>Once I outrank her, I can than show some 'generosity' and offer her a position as my own confidant. A position she'd no doubt take, considering her reputation is ruined. Many would think this was because I had a soft spot for her, she'd no doubt think the same.
She would sneak out that YOU are the reason why she failed. It would provide a real conflict.
>I think it would take years though.
Fife at best.
>juicing while having a picture of Scooby on your fridge
>tfw ponk is waifu
>tfw i play electric guitar, acoustic guitar, and bass guitar
>plus a bit of piano
>tfw pretty god damn good at it
i would slay.
She won't need convincing since I'm the very epitome of peak physical and mental fitness.
Literally minimal effort required. I'd probably be merged into a wall and kept as a breeding tool, like a porno of the Alien franchise.
I'd be like
>girl bring those thighs over here, lemme keep them warm.
and then whatever happens next is between two consenting adults
You can't possibly be referring to
>the naked man
Could it be? does it really work.