How would you convince your waifu to have sex with you?

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>>26044155
Those dubs.

>>26044155
By having a loving relationship with her.

>>26044155
Sneak a book into her collection about how to get a different species attracted to you.

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>>26044184
FUCKING LAME

>>26044155
I just want to cuddle the pony.

>>26044200
What your waifu is twiggy the piggy?

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>>26044155
Probably whip dick out and ask if we're doing this or not

>>26044184
This

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Convince her it's for the sake of scientific research.

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>>26044247

It's fluttershy so I'd probably have to date the bitch for like a year before she let me slam. It'd be worth it though. Her cottage might start to stink from me jacking off all over the place in the mean time though.

>>26044275
If you did,
Just be sure you slam proud.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwv_2OKxZr8

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>>26044155
>implying she has a choice

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>>26044247
>>26044218
>>26044200
>>26044275
>Not Lifting everyday to get them mad gains.
>Not using the gains to attract your waifu.
>Not taking your waifu and pounding her pussy with the help of your massive glutes.
>Being a beta bitch who probably cums teaspoons.

It's like you don't even want to fuck your waifu.
You already know bad bitches love them gains.

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>>26044349
You're a human.

She's a pony.

She would not be sexually attracted to a different species.

Don't even think about bringing up Lyra

>>26044349
I, sir, am actually a bit of a hasgains myself. I once had a massive seizure in my bedroom while wearing nothing but my underwear from doing too much cocaine and the female paramedic that showed up was miring. Told me in the back of the ambulance that I a was "a good looking kid" while she was giving me a speech about not doing drugs.

True story.

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>>26044369
What about Lyra?

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>>26044369

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>>26044155
>implying your waifus would want anything to do with you
>implying your waifus would want to fuck you
Get it together, guys.

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>>26044415
>>26044436
pls

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>>26044369
It's the magical land of equestria.
They have several races and kinds in that land.

You need only look at EQG to see that ponies can be attracted to humans. twilight spergal became attracted to flash dill weed. Pones can be thirsty for monkey dick. It happens.

So my point still stands nigga. You have to have the gains if you wanna smash that horse pussy.

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>>26044466
What about Heyra?

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>>26044466
fck

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>>26044439
>Waifu not wanting you
Clearly you don't lift. Otherwise you'd have a better attitude.

>>26044155
If I had sex with her, she wouldn't be a virgin and I wouldn't love her anymore. Everything's perfect the way it is.

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>>26044409
>poisoning your body with drugs
>Risking precious lifting time with a seizure
>NOT FUCKING THAT PARAMEDIC.
YOU ARE A SHAME TO ALL BIG GUYS EVERYWHERE. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO LIFT.

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>>26044541
It's okay....I'll fuck her for you.

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>>26044155

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>>26044155
>Candle light flickered inside Twilight's eyes.
>You are to distracted by the absolute beauty to even pay attention to the lessons in magic she is trying to teach.

>"Anon, are you even listing!?"
>Caught.
"Uhm, yes I am, I'm just trying to put the whole quantum mass relevance to the teleportation destination in my head."
>Nice save.
>She looks at you with those big lavender eyes. God she's cute...
>You finally realize you can't hide your feelings from her any longer.
>You decide it's best not to do it here and now...
'Maybe Rarity can help me out' you think in your head. I'll head over to her place tomorrow and see.
>You continue to listen to Twilight's words as each one enters your ears like velvet.
This is it Anon... your gunna get her. And maybe a little extra...

My first green text. will continue if not voted shit tier.

>>26044574
would music really slay mad pussy in equisteria?

>>26044813
Works in the human world, don't it?

>>26044604
go on....

>>26044834
Second girl I ever fucked explicitly told me she was interested in me because I played the drums. Hottest one too.

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>>26044877

>>26044604
Continue

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>>26044604
"OOOWWWW Not so tight Rarity,"
>"Oh, stop your whining Anon. Its a well know saying, 'pain is beauty'"
"Yeah they're just pants though..."
>"Well the human garmets still escape me in their design."
>you take a deep breath...
"Rarity, can I ask you something?"
>"Well of course darling... what is it?"
"Well... what is it girls like in a guy?"
>"Hmm... I'd have to say passion, a sense of humor, understanding,"
>She moves her snout to right above your ear. Her hot breath tickling your lobes.

>"A nice big fat one to please her at night..."
>As she says "fat" she grabs your legs and begins to take off your newly designed pants with her magic.

surprise my waifu is Rarity

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>>26044813
Just play some good old Indie-Rock and all the Equestrian pussy is in your human hands

>>26045136
meh

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Jousting/fencing. Beat down the whole royal guard with one or another, the rest should come naturally.

>>26044155
If you don't hop on my dick you might die

>>26044574
>>26044877
I so wish I had kept playing the piano when I was a kid rather than stop altogether once my parents stopped forcing me to take lessons. I would have been drowning in pussy by the time I got into high school. Unfortunately I didn't have the appreciation for classical music back then that I do now.

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>>26045136
so's mine, but that was a shit.

>>26045295
>if you like how i joust with a sabre, you should see what i can do with my penis
I just imagine you whipping your penis out, saying en garde, and proceeding to fence with Celestia's butt until you lunge into her pussy. Don't even get me started on jousting...

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>>26044155
I've got a couple options with this mare.....hmmm
------
Well I am an engineer, so I'd sign up with her firm as an engineer.
I'd help her company do some designs, help her make some dramatic improvements to her equestrian games or what ever faggy shit she's doing, by adding some human sports to it, and innovations they no doubt haven't considered in stadium design.

Eventually I'd catch her eye. Not as a lover, but as a super valuable employee. She'd invite me to a luncheon to discuss my future in her firm.

Some things will roll along, and eventually I'll be one of her confidants. As is the way with someone who is groomed to help a leader.

I would trap her in little luncheons of my own. Disguising them as important meetings that she should attend privately. All the while networking and slowly undermining her.

When the day comes, I will insure she falls from grace, dramatically. Losing everything as publicly as possible, humiliated before the Equestrian Athletic Association.

And who should step up to salvage her 'mistake' but me. Overthrowing her subtly. Saving the day, and making a page in that companies history.

Once I outrank her, I can than show some 'generosity' and offer her a position as my own confidant. A position she'd no doubt take, considering her reputation is ruined. Many would think this was because I had a soft spot for her, she'd no doubt think the same.

Than realizing that I had single handedly rescued her from complete termination, She will grow to be grateful to me.

And it is this gratitude that I would manipulate into forcing her into becoming my waifu.

Ms. Harshwhinny, my secret little fling, so unprofessional, yet so irresistible. My only dirty secret that she'll ever know of.

AND THAT'S HOW I'D FUCK THAT BAD BITCH!
I think it would take years though.

>>26044349
Jokes on you, /fit/izen!
I'm fit myself, but not /fit/ because they're gay. Literally homosexual.

>>26044369
>Lyra loves everything human
>Lyra is addicted to humans
>Lyra wants Anon
>until a better specimen comes over

>>26045295
>intruding the castle
>overpowering the royal guard
>all the while thinking this'll get you her affection
>you confront her
>she's looking at you with eyes like saucers, sweating profusely
>trembling
>you misunderstand this as arousal
>the first time you speak to her today
>also, it has been a couple of weeks since you've last seen her
"If you like how I joust with a sabre, you should see what I can accomplish with my penis!"

>>26044155
>rape

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>>26045295
>>26045725
>>26046562
First one was mine, you other guys owe me new sides.

>>26046606
>off by sixty

>>26044349
>To do:
>Fri-
>Date w/ Jeff!
Holy fucking kek

>>26044184
Came here to post that.

>>26044369
>he would not be sexually attracted to a different species.
Equestria Girls says otherwise

>>26044574
>>26044155
I would serenade my Dashie. And she shall show her feminine side. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHpkWcnODms

>>26045645
The only problem with piano is that it's not as portable as some other instruments. They're heavy, good ones are expensive, and you need an outlet to play electric. I wish I could play like I do now back in high school. Would've been much more impressive.

>>26047478
>And she shall show her feminine side
She's going to make out with the closest mare?

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>>26047527

>>26045785
I would love to read it, but with one little change.

>Once I outrank her, I can than show some 'generosity' and offer her a position as my own confidant. A position she'd no doubt take, considering her reputation is ruined. Many would think this was because I had a soft spot for her, she'd no doubt think the same.
She would sneak out that YOU are the reason why she failed. It would provide a real conflict.

>I think it would take years though.
Fife at best.

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>>26044349
>"SUPPS"
>juicing while having a picture of Scooby on your fridge

Either >>26044184 or >>26044339

>>26048396
yea, that would be pretty cool actually. It would really add extra layers to Anon's personality, as a psychopathic, obsessive man.

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>>26044574
>tfw ponk is waifu
>tfw i play electric guitar, acoustic guitar, and bass guitar
>plus a bit of piano
>tfw pretty god damn good at it

i would slay.

>>26044604
>your gunna get her
>your

it's shit.

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She won't need convincing since I'm the very epitome of peak physical and mental fitness.

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>>26044155
Literally minimal effort required. I'd probably be merged into a wall and kept as a breeding tool, like a porno of the Alien franchise.

>>26050839
That would be cool for like the first few day's. Than it'd start to suck, allot.

>>26049357
Have you ever tried to make a song about your waifu

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Offer her sweets, candies, and various other presents.

>>26044184


>>26044242

>>26044488
how was that so unf

>>26049357
redd get outta here

>>26051358
>wanting to fuck overgrown child
You have some weird fetishes Anon.

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I'd be like
>girl bring those thighs over here, lemme keep them warm.

and then whatever happens next is between two consenting adults

>>26050972
Of course, but I never said I would want that. Just what would happen, judging from how creatures like xenomorphs and changelings work.

>>26044155
hab the sex with me and ill show you how to unlock
THE POWER OF HUMANITY

>>26052947
A court case requires more than 2 people, you know

>>26044155
Id just strip

Girls like a guy who can make them laugh

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>>26053135
You can't possibly be referring to
>the naked man
Could it be? does it really work.