>You're a casual observer at a bar in Canterlot, a frighteningly ordinary kind of guy who is here only because you had not a single person to take to the Grand Galloping Gala. >You've been sitting in the corner of this bar for almost three hours, nursing a very tall glass of hard cider, and just as you were about to order the bottle, the door slams open. >"UGH!" >Well, there's something you don't see everyday. >All six Elements of Harmony, walking into the same bar with the same look on their faces. >A sour one. >A few dozen ponies had come and gone tonight already with that angry, dejected expression, but somehow you'd thought that celebrities like these would be immune to it. >No matter, this should be a fun show. >They all slide onto bar stools, waiting for the barkeep to come to them in turn. >Naturally, he attends to the Princess first. >"What's your pleasure, milady?" >Almost without hesitation, she throws a hoof upward toward the back of the bar, gesturing to a row of bottles labeled 'Manehattan Brew, Gold.' >The bartender slides one of the beers off of the shelf and places it in front of her, turning quickly to Rainbow Dash. >Before he can even say a single word, she blurts out her drink choice. >"Gimme a bottle of bourbon. Don't bother with a glass." >He complies, a ghost of a smile beginning to form on his face as he steps over in front of Rarity. >"And you, ma'am?" >She sighs briefly and almost immediately her face drops to the bar. >"The cheapest red wine you have, please." >He withdraws a generic bottle of wine from beneath the bar, pouring her a glass and leaving her to her silent sobs. >Next up is Applejack, and for this one he simply pulls out a bottle of hard cider and sets in front of her, receiving a nod of approval. >Pinkie Pie takes a long breath as the barkeep approaches, but when he finally gets right in front of her, she simply requests a martini, which he provides with almost shocking speed and efficiency.
>>26001035 >The bartender's last stop is Fluttershy, who, in her usual scarcely audible voice, requests a screwdriver. >The barkeep complies, mixing in a little less orange juice than you would think appropriate, but it is his profession after all. >Now the fun begins, as Pinkie is already hiccuping a bit, having nearly reached the bottom of her first martini. >"I mean...how bad could a bit of polka mess up a party? Polka music practically MAKES a party!" >She begins to wobble a bit on her stool, blinking faster than usual now. >"You were there, Fluttershy. That band they had in there was terrible! You could barely hear 'em!" >Fluttershy, instead of replying, finished draining her screwdriver and rapped once on the bar, cuing the bartender that had just finished replacing Twilight's beer. >Rainbow Dash, having spent the last minute only taking a break from her bottle to breathe, finally detatched herself from the bourbon and leaned back, wrapping an arm around AJ and Pinkie. >"You know something, those Wonderbolts might be all uppity, but that's what I like about you guys. You're really fun to hang around with." >She wipes a few beads of sweat from her forehead, tossing them over her shoulder. >As she does, she catches a glimpse of you staring at the lot of them, and slides off of her barstool toward you. >"Hey, you! The one with the cider!" >There's only one of you, although that might not be her opinion right now. >She slides into the booth opposite you, staring at you intently for a few seconds before breaking out in the goofiest grin you've ever seen. >I love you, buddy. Don't ever forget that. But, could you help me get back to the bar?" >You slide from the table, gingerly placing a hoof around her back and walking her back to her stool. >You are just about to return to your table when you notice that Rarity's bottle is almost a quarter of the way gone. >Uh-oh. >You've heard rumors. >"Excuse me, darling..."
>>26001516 Alright, green is back, coming at you throughout the day. There were no dubs, but I'll still be throwing in two other pones.
>You try desperately to edge away from Rarity, thinking that if you can get back to your table you'll be home free. >No such luck, as she slides away from the bar, sidling up to you and playing Space Invaders all over you. >"What do you think, hmmm? Such a cute little stallion, I'm sure you must have some abilities." >You take note that there is now something rubbing a very interesting circle around your nethers, and with the quickest of glances you realize it's her tail. >You glance back and forth across the bar, but none seemed to be forthcoming. >Just as Rarity began to press herself up against you completely, the sound of a glass slamming into the bar rings out, and Fluttershy slides out of her barstool. >She makes a single pass by the pair of you, grabbing the end of Rarity's mane in her mouth as she goes. >As she moves back to her barstool, Rarity is pulled backward, giving you enough leeway to escape to your table. >Thankfully, Rarity seems to be plastered enough to not feel any real pain from having her mane pulled. >You take a few long sips of your cider before checking to see how they're doing again, looking now to Applejack. >Huh. >She's completely asleep, conked out right on top of the bar. >The barkeep pries the cider bottle from her hooves, giving it a quick shake to reveal she went through the whole thing. >He nods, clearly impressed, and replaces the bottle in a different cabinet. >Twilight, having polished off her fifth beer, was beginning to look legitimately angry for some reason. >She began to scowl as she took a sip of the new one placed in front of her, and finally leaned back on her stool and sighed. >"I can't even get a buzz from this stuff! Do you have any stronger brews, maybe something from Yakyakistan?" >You're pretty sure you know what's going on, so you give a quick call to make sure.
>>26003640 >"A brief suggestion, Princess, if I could get you to step over here." >Twilight slides out of the barstool, and as soon as her hooves touch the ground her composure falls apart. >She stumbles a few times, seeming to forget your request entirely as she is now on her own mission to just get back in her seat. >You chuckle a bit as the bartender takes a differently labeled bottle from the shelf and passes it to Twilight. >She spends a few moments, talking in what she thinks is a quiet tone, telling herself she's just a bit dizzy and she can handle another round. >Just as she is about to pop the top off of the beer, the door swings open again, occupied now by none other than the royal sisters Celestia and Luna. >You crouch a bit further into your corner, hoping not to be spotted before anything interesting happens. >Celestia pulls up a stool between Twilight and Pinkie, rapping once on the bar for the barkeep's attention. >"Whiskey on the rocks. A Colta-Cola with it." >The stallion responded quickly, digging a few chunks of ice from a small freezer in the back of the bar and pouring the Princess's drink over them. >He placed it in front of her an quickly made his way to Luna, who had taken as seat at the very end, just to the right of Fluttershy. >"And for you, ma'am?" >"White Lightning. Bring me a jar from the Eastern Mountain makers." >He raised an eyebrow, but made no comment as he placed a common mason jar filled with a clear liquid in front of her. >She swirled it around a bit as Celestia turned to Twilight, grinning just slightly. >"So, Twilight. What brings you here?" >Twilight takes a deep breath, although you can't be sure if it's a sigh or just to help clear the blush she's had ever since she stood up. >"I dunno...I wish we could do something to make the Gala better, but every time it's the same old thing, and every time it's depressing." >Celestia nodded, swirling her glass around a bit before downing almost half of it.
>>26009635 And so I return, like a storm system to Louisiana.
>Celestia slams her tumbler of whiskey down onto the table and chases it quickly with a large gulp of cola. >As she swallows, her eyes close and she takes a sharp breath. >"I know what you mean, Twilight. For the last five years, I've only ever had a drink on Gala night. Every single time, nothing but politics and uptight royalty who care nothing about what Canterlot has to offer them. I'm sick of it." >You raise an eyebrow at hearing such opinions from Celestia, and contemplate writing some of this down, but you are stopped by something a bit more interesting. >Luna and Fluttershy have now stepped over to one of the two-seater tables and are sitting across from each other, each with a sizeable amount of alcohol beside them. >If you didn't know better, you'd say Fluttershy had challenged the Princess of the Night to a drinking contest. >No, surely not. >As if on cue, both of them immediately grab a shot and down it, acting simultaneously and slamming both drinks down. >Holy balls, this you've got to see. >As casually as possible, you switch seats to give yourself a better view of the competition, and before you've even gotten a comfortable groove worked into the pleather-coated bench, they've already gone through two more shots. >Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Rarity trying to wake up Applejack by licking her ear. >This doesn't go very well for her, as Applejack almost immediately twitches her leg straight backwards, throwing Rarity onto the floor. >This doesn't seem to phase her, however, and she gets right back up and moves over to Pinkie Pie, practically wrapping herself around the bubblegum-colored pony. >Twilight's horn lights up, quickly removing Rarity from the scene and placing her beside Celestia. >This seems to sober her up a bit, and she sits there silently as Celestia leans on the bar, glancing over at her student.
>>26011165 >"Well, at least Luna's having fun. She always did have a way with drinks." >By now, Luna and Flutters are on their tenth shots and still going strong, something you find nigh unbelieveable. >You'd heard that Luna had a legendary alcohol tolerance and had even once drunk Discord himself under the table, but you had never once pictures Fluttershy as the type able to challenge her. >Rainbow Dash chuckles from across the bar, looking around behind the group to watch the contest for a second. >"Yeah, but Flutters is already as smashed as she's ever gonna get. She just gets really serious when she drinks." >Twelve shots in now, and finally both of the ponies are beginning to slow down just a bit, although you'd predict they still both have enough momentum to finish off all twenty shots lined up for them. >You go to take another sip of your cider, but find that it is now empty. >You've accelerated your own drinking ever since this group arrived, and watching the contest is getting you thirsty fast. >Aftet spending a few seconds weighing your options, you slide quietly from the booth and make your way to the bar, gesturing to the barkeep as inconspicuously as possible. >No such luck, as you are almost immediately accosted by something white and fluffy. >"Came back for me, didn't you darling?" >The barkeep slides a new, full bottle of cider down to you and turns back to the other group, leaving you to fight your own fight. >Fighting your instincts, you don't shove Rarity off, but instead opt to spin her over to the corner. >In her inebriated state, the same motions that would normally be an innocent trip to the jukebox a carousel of insanity. >She stares at you for a second, her eyes narrowed, and blinks a few times. >Sir, would you be kind enough to stop the room from spinning so much? I'd like to get back in my seat before this all continues." >You gladly oblige her, guiding her shaky steps back to her barstool beside Celestia.
>>26012499 Crap, forgot my nametag... Keep this one alive for a little longer. Once the end arrives, we're gonna see what happens when Luna actually manages to get drunk. I do have a schedule to keep though, so give it about three hours 'til green time.
>>26014211 >Rarity regains her seat, blinking a bit and almost immediately lays her head onto the bar. >You hear a small series of adorable snores and squeaks, pointing out that Rarity has drunk herself to sleep. >You gratefully excuse yourself to your seat, moving quickly. >As you regain your seat, you take note that Luna is no longer sitting in front of Fluttershy. >The yellow pegasus is now dozing over a row of her own drinks, scarcely conscious. >Your view is suddenly obstructed entirely by a dark blue face, and you fall back in shock. >"So you're having a drink too? That's nice. Have you ever hoofwrestled? I used to love it, but I haven't had a good opponent in so long. Would you like to try?" >Without even enough time for you to respond, she grabs ahold of your arm and sets you up on your elbow, slamming your hoof to the table almost instantly. >"Whoop, I guess I win this one. Sorry, maybe you'll do a little better next time. I've get to go talk to my sister now, okay?" >She rushes to the bar, leaving you in complete shock and awe. Yeah, Luna's a happy-go-lucky drunk. Just my head canon, but it's here to stay.
>>26017899 Those are great too and we get some in cyoas and stuff but I do miss the volume of stories that were just fun and we'll put together like this I'm getting my my action fix from the OPM story in another thread
>You shake your head a bit as you take a few more nips off of your drink, watching as Luna hovers around the whole group of ponies, rustling all their manes as she passes by. >Admittedly, you'd never thought about the Princess like this, but she's absolutely adorable in this kind of mood. >You crack a slight grin, but it is quickly turned back down as the door slams open, revealing a set of fifteen ponies, each wearing an insignia you can clearly recognize. >The Roadsplitters, a gang infamous for running massive quantities of illegally mined salt blocks and impure mineral deposits. >They've no respect or fear for the Princess, or anything you can name, really. >Probably all the extra chemicals in their mineral supplements rotted their brains. Don't do drugs, kids. >You've seen them around before, and dealt with them more than once in exchange for a few free rounds from the barkeep, so you're no stranger to a barfight. >Even so, fifteen at a time would be pressing the luck of the best fighting ponies in Equestria, and your training is strictly in bare-hoof brawling. >You decide to move a little closer to the end of your bench, ready if they make any moves, but not enough to be noticed if you don't want to be. >As expected, they all take a standing position at the bar, as close to a mare as they can get. >Pitiful, but you didn't really expect any better from idiots like these. >You allow your attention to drift just a bit, passing your eye over each of them, making sure they aren't getting too frisky. >After all, each mare at that bar is pretty smashed. >There are those who'd give your lack of intervention quite the scandalous readout, assuming things came to that. >One of the gangsters jerks his elbow backward, knocking Pinkie's glass to the floor and giving the worst fake apologetic face you've ever seen. >Immediately, he bends down to pick up the glass, and on the way back up he traces his tongue up the pink pony's leg.
>>26023061 >Your hoof presses into the table, tilting it audibly as you take a few deep, angry breaths. >She glances down at him with a mixture of curiosity and disgust, and quickly edges away from him, moving to the next stool down. >He takes her old seat, leaning over and wrapping one arm around her. >Okay, nope. >No more Mr. Nice Horse. >You slide out of the booth, making a beeline for the idiot next to Pinkie. >Once you reach him, you slap his arm away, grabbing his shoulder and spinning him around on his stool to face you. >"Alright, friend. I'm pretty sure she's made it clear, she doesn't want anything to do with you." >He sneers at you, and you can feel every last set of eyes in the room pointed straight at you. >"She's playing a little hard to get. Canterlot mares do that sometimes, you know?" >You bring him in a little closer, whispering into his ear. >"Tell you what, I'm gonna take my seat right back over there at that booth, but I'm gonna be watching you and your little colts here. Anything I see you do to these mares that I don't hear 'em say yes to, I'm gonna do to you. Get me?" >He throws your arm off, standing to his feet and bumping his chest up against yours. >Minus one point for scare tactics, as you've just seen his entire gang get up along with him, and they seem to be slowly working into a circle around you. >You take a breath, sighing. >"Man...I really should have stayed home drinking tonight." >The leader pokes a hoof into your chest, pushing you into the center of the circle. >"That's something we can agree on. Trouble is, you didn't." >Without another word, he draws back one hoof and swings it straight forward at your face. >You notice several things here. >First, he's an amateur fighter, as his form is pathetic. >Second, he's about three hands bigger than you, and if he connects with that hoof, form won't matter nearly as much as you'd like it too. >Third, Twilight is now standing behind him, a barstool over her head.
>>26023172 >You sidestep as she smashes the barstool straight downward, smashing the wood over his head. >Almost instantly, the entire circle collapses into chaos, and you are left with two of the group right on top of you. >With a right cross you're able to lay out the shorter of the pair, but the taller one grabs you by the shoulders, slipping his arms in next to your chest and putting you in a full nelson. >You glance around for something you can use to escape, and there it is. >Pulling with all your might, you leap toward another barstool, turning as you go. >As he loses his balance, you fall backward, feeling his head smash onto the edge of the stool that was formerly occupied by Celestia, who is currently holding two more of the gangsters by their snouts with magic. >Luna zips around the room, delivering quick sparks of magic to a rump every now and then, giggling all the while. >"Oh, wow! I haven't had a bar fight in ages, I love these!" >Twilight is occupied by another one of the group trying to tackle her, smashing away at the magic bubble she's constructed around herself. >Pinkie is in the corner, tossing empty bottles that the bartender is handing her. >Rainbow Dash is flying around even faster than Luna, delivering quick kicks to any exposed heads that don't belong to her friends, although she's quite a bit wobbly in the air. >Applejack, just like she has been through the whole night, is the eye of the hurricane, with a perfect circle of floor around her with no fighting or damage. >Rarity has one stallion wrapped up in her tail quite effectively, and is squeezing him like a snake, grinning a bit evilly all the while. >You spot one unfortunate fool heading for Fluttershy, but as soon as he gets within two feet, she spins around in her seat, grabs him by the back of the head, and spins again, smashing his forehead into the side of the table and dropping him to the floor, returning instantly to her nap.
>>26023460 Man, screwed up the nametag again. I hate doing that. >You stroll around the room now, delivering a casual punch here and there to anyone who tries getting back up. >With this unexpected fighting spirit from the mares, it doesn't take long for the gangsters to realize they're outmatched. >They quickly gather the members of their group that are still conscious and rush out the door as best they can, though most of them are limping along. >You take a deep breath and turn back to your table, and your eyes narrow. >During the fight, someone broke your bottle of cider. >Done.jpg >You spin again, heading for the door this time. >"Excuse me, sir?" >You turn around instinctively on command of the Princess, giving a quick bow. >"Yes, ma'am?" >She smirks, taking a few steps toward you. >"You did a fine job back there. I'd like to know we appreciate it, and that you're more than welcome in Canterlot Castle anytime." >You can't help but crack a slight grin. >After all, how many ponies can say they've personally helped out Celestia in a brawl? >"I appreciate it greatly, milady." >You give another bow and turn to leave, but just as the door opens under the pressure of your hoof, you hear one more question. >"I don't believe I caught your name, sir." >"My name..."
Alright, everyone. This is where my story ends. What I want to see now is the best character you can give me. I need keks to calm my nerves, as I've got some serious stuff happening this weekend. Dig deep into your senses of humor, and have fun. Until the next good prompt, MountainSides out.
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