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2016-02-05 10:58:00 Post No. 7663145
Post No. 7663145
I'm writing off the cuff because of severe writers block towards a project I'm working on. Would like to know if you guys like this style of writing.
Tell them I was happy. Tell them I lived a fulfilling life and had no regrets. Tell them I wrote something inspiring and beautiful and poetic or something. It would be pathetic if my death was embarrassing as my life. - unedited suicide note
When I go out into a crowd. I feel all their eyes scan across me. I see their face twist and contort in disgust. As if they already know what type of shitty person I am without taking the prescribed six months of knowing me to figure it out. What the fuck happened? I was finger banging solid sixes yesterday then I passed out in a vodka fueled stupor and awoke in a panic thirty pounds heavier worried about all the things I've already fucked up. Scared to death of things already set in motion set in stone. I've tried to outrun the grinding millstone that I set in motion years ago with the constant steady string of bad decisions but its catching up ready to crush whatever soul and flickering dreams I cling to. Two years to the big three O. Two more years of failed investments and relationships. Two more years of bad television and masturbation. Two more torturous years till I'm officially dead inside. I'm learned enough to understand that we humans hit agemarks on our journey to the grave where we pick up habits that we kinda fall into. Like being obsessed with pokemon and riding bikes and blowing frogs up with firecrackers or listening to edgy shitty music and trying to touch boobs or being able to touch boobs and then wanted to stick your dick between them or sipping beer and taking a hit from a poorly rolled joint made of printer paper to killing a thirty rack and ripping dabs from space age contraptions. Then comes the coke and the sad whores who have kids but still want to party and at moment as you're getting blown by the prom queen who now looks like a leather bag ran over by a tractor trailer, a blowjob that is basically paid for in coke mind you, you begin to understand that your life that was once a circus had turned into a fucking horror show and there's no goddamn exit in sight.