Maximum knowledge has always been my ideal. I am so attracted by it simply because the more you know, the more in control you are. I know this sounds edgy, but I have spent hours thinking about this. I have fantasized about knowing everything and that gives me shivers every time.
The fictional character that scratches this itch of mine the most if Light Yagami. It may be weaboo behavior, but I idolize his pre-Kira lifestyle- perfect student, resourceful, calm, confident, well spoken.
Recommend me books that will make me feel more in control, more confident in my knowledge, motivated to learn more.
It's a fictional character, it's impossible to spend so much time studying and in the same time getting social experierience to act so cool
Nah man, there are people like that out there, the true alphas. They are pretty rare tho
>successful in everything
>extremely social, lots of friends and beautiful girlfriends
>fit and good looking
>very nice people, will help you out with everything they can
I know a couple of guys like this
Knowledge doesn't only have to be about material things and classes. Oftentimes, the most you learn is out of class and out of books, which although you've heard that before, is incredibly true in being in control of your own environment, your own thoughts and your emotions.
Think about the one thing in common between all that you've learned, that is most beneficial and most fundamental in your life. The answer is that it is very uncomfortable and very difficult.
When you encounter a social situation in which you don't know what the outcome is going to be, and you don't exactly know how to act, it's awkward and nerve wracking and you don't want to be there. But then, you watch, you probably make a mistake, but then you learn, and then you never make that mistake in that situation again. Similarly, this can be applied to a question on a test that totally pushes your thinking capacity to the absolute limits, and you're barely able to solve it, and it stresses the shit out of you. But then if you get it right, it's not only incredibly satisfying, but you will never get that same question wrong on a test again.
However, the most important things that you learn not only will not come from only reading a book, they simply can't. Doing nothing but reading will only greatly inflate your perception of your own intelligence and your ability, and you will be absolutely unable to examine your capability, your strengths and weaknesses, and how to become the best person you can possibly be, and you will become an ignorant, deluded individual. Instead, it's necessary to examine your own life in depth, question what you know, and above all, avoid comfort and familiarity. That's how you become the character from whatever fucking anime you're talking about.
>”the more you know, the more in control you are”
>”I have fantasized about knowing everything”
>”I idolize his pre-Kira lifestyle- perfect student, resourceful, calm, confident, well spoken”
>”make me feel more in control, more confident in my knowledge, motivated to learn more”
I’m not trying to troll you or anything, but you need to understand the basis of your own motivations. Most all our motivations stem from our desires, which are ultimately dictated by our ideological dispositions. The thing about ideology is that they are a series of beliefs and values that have been behaviorally embedded into us since children(i.e., the things we generally make meaning out of). Ultimately, they are things we are taught to interpret to be true. Furthermore, ideology is subconscious (as I said, they have been behaviorally embedded into us through positive and negative forms of reinforcement).
The things you will realize is that all your motivations in life stems from these ideologies (i.e., socially constructed and relative meanings that you will interpret to be true, but which actually have nothing to do with truth whatsoever). In other words, by operating on these ideologies, you are letting your life be lead by mental illusions that aren’t real, making your life a lie. I consider ideology one of the greatest social sicknesses from which society suffers.
Nature is mute. The wind doesn’t use words. The planet is impartial and nature is decidedly indifferent. Life’s absurd; and if you only care to have control (as you stated in your first quote), then you are nothing but a Deleuzian “desiring-machine” operating on the basis of Foucauldian power.
>It's human nature to find patterns. To seek control.
Nobody really knows what human nature is; so what you said is incorrect. Chomsky and Foucault had a debate on this a long time ago.
I should also add that though human beings have an innate ability to learn a language (as Chomsky poses with his idea of a "language organ"), the concepts and ideals we create with that language are socially constructed. Language ultimately creates cultures; and culture influences our language. This is why speech patterns tend to change over time and why the hard sciences use Latin (a dead language) for their terminologies.
Just remember, as McKenna once stated: "culture is not your friend." Don't fall victim to someone else's "BS" (their Belief Systems as RAW once stated).
>”I have fantasized about knowing everything”
One more thing. Knowing everything is an impossibility since our language is too limited to convey certain truths.
Since language is limited (including mathematical logic as Kurt Godel showed), certain truths will forever remain outside our grasp or understanding.
Since our language is limited (and inherently flawed), there (1) may be things we can prove but which aren't true, and (2) things we can never come to prove, but which may be true. Our language is, ultimately, "incomplete." We cannot think outside of the box of language, making human creativity and/or knowledge of understanding limited (this is something even Chomsky has talked about and agreed with at great lengths as well).
>Recommend me books that will make me feel more in control, more confident in my knowledge, motivated to learn more
'Thinking Fast and Slow' then you give up. You are romanticizing intelligence, not that bad at all since we need a little glamour to keep going without getting bored. You can't know everything. You can read 10 books about 100 different topics but since you are not putting anything in practice nor reflecting and trying to develop something from what you got, your brain will just forgive what you read.
Why you need to feel more in control? You will always have little control nigga, you can be narcissist and believe you are 100% right every time but that won't make you control your surroundings. This is classic OCD behavior but I completely normal for your young age. Don't worry aging will take care of it. Also never forget that some things are better in our imagination. To make them true you would need to give too much in exchange to get little in return.
>you can't know everything
No shit? Did you really have to invoke Gödel's Incompleteness to convince yourself of this?
This is why STEM fags have such a bad rep.
a bit of a different angle, but you should read this