Hi anons. I wrote a book, and you can read it if you want to

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ooh hoo hoo wat a silly boi u are

I'm going to read your book and I will leave a review based on my actual opinion, not some meme-level shit.

That's the best I can offer.

>>7654396
you have this offer from me as well, OP. Thanks for sharing your stuff.

>>7654396
>>7654473
Thanks. I hope you like it.

I'll read it.

>>7653952
I've been down this road OPie. You get a bunch of free downloads because you got some sites to mention your shit, and a handful of people agree to do reviews, then you're just sitting around waiting for the reviews and sales for months.

It's not fun.

>>7654867
Yeah, my expectations are very low, as far as the book going anywhere. I would have held out and tried querying more agents, but the book is long, and I kept hearing that the odds of a publisher picking up a book of this length from a first time author are slim. So I figured what the hell and thought I'd try doing it this way.

>>7654885
If you have the money (you most likely don't), I'd buy a couple of reviews from places like Kirkus. I know it's sleazy as fuck but this is something supposedly "respectable" big publishers do all the time.

>>7654904
I definitely don't have the money. I've been e-mailing blogs that review books to see if they'd review mine, but I don't see it being very fruitful. I'm mostly just going to throw this one to the wind and keep working on other things and see if I can into some lit mags or traditionally published or whatever. I have no idea really.

>>7654995
Yeah I did that too. A handful of them agreed to do it but everyone sends them shit so they could take forever to get to you if they even accept in the first place.

It sounds like you're basically in the same boat as me, just a couple of months earlier in the process.

>Print Length: 870 pages

yikes.

good luck anon. sorry i can't help, but that's a bit above my commitment level for something like this right now.

he probably had a bad editor. I find that most books around this length -- if not a classic -- can be boiled down to 200-400 word range and still maintain the story, character development and themes, honestly.

>>7655018
The worst part is, that estimate is probably off so it might be at least 1.5 times that.

>>7655024
It's a self-published e-book so he most likely didn't have an editor.

>>7655025
does it have logical places to break up? might be more palatable as a trilogy, tetralogy, or even a serial of 5-6 ~150 page books. much more tempting to download something in that range, and then pursue the rest in the series if it's catchy, than to commit yourself to a 800+ page behemoth. or is it too late since you've already submitted it to amazon?

>>7655062
I'm not him, but you can always just upload a different file and it'll change what's in the ebook. I've played around with that and you can literally completely replace one book with an entirely different one if you want to. It just takes a few days for all the details to be updated on the site.

If he had it in print, it'd be a lot more of a hassle, but with an ebook it's pretty easy to do.

>>7655018
>>7655024
>>7655025

If print length means how many pages the book would be when physically bound, it's less than 870. I'm working on a print version now and it's like 566 pages. More exactly, the book is around 300,000 words.

>>7655110
What page size are you using? That seems really off for something with 300,000 words.

Though I agree with that other guy, that's way too long for a single book. You should split it up.

>>7655110
oversized? or 4 point font? most books run 250-300 words per page. so you should be closer to 1000-1200 pages.

>>7655118
5.5/8.5. It might be a little over 566 when I'm finished formatting. But I'm also not leaving any white space between chapters, just to sort of save paper and because I'm too lazy to reformat the file that extensively. The book is long, I just don't want to give the impression that it's Infinite Jest long. And I can't split it up. It's a whole solid thang.

If anyone has a copy of something like East of Eden of Ulysses lying around, it would probably be a little bigger than those.

>>7655135
It's going to look like shit if you do that though. and Infinite Jest is 543,709 words as opposed to the average book which is like 60-100k so you're not as far off as you think.

>>7655135
>And I can't split it up. It's a whole solid thang.

well congrats on completing it, but ya done goofed. might want to look and see if you can make a few changes that give you some separation points.

also
>write a 300,000 word story
>too lazy to format it properly
so you really don't want anyone to read it, eh?

>>7655157
Listen to this guy.

No one's going to read a 300,000 word long scifi book by an unknown author. If there are no splitting points, make some. You'd be a lot better off with three 100k word books than one 300k word one.

Change your fucking profile pic to look somewhat professional.

That picture is fine to just throw onto your twitter or blog as a random thing but shit like that should not be the first thing people see of you. It makes you look like you either lack confidence in yourself hiding all of your face like that(and thus likely your book), or you're fucking off and not taking this seriously.

Also that is way too fucking long for an unknown. It's barely too much for a well-established author. The blog sites you sent it to will definitely take one look at that word count and move on.

Definitely should have looked for any way you could have to split that up. Not only do people love a series, but it makes you more money.

Congratulations on completing though. I doubt I'll ever read it but you did good by at least finishing it.

>>7655145
>>7655157
>>7655168

It is what it is, ya know? I wrote the thing, I worked hard on it almost every day for over three years, and it's as close I can get it to being what I want it to be. I can't control whether people actually read it or think it's ugly or shit or whatever. I do want people to read it and to like it, but I can't change the thing to fit a market or expectations.

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>>7655187
What about this?

i don't have a kindle op. post a sample?

>>7655210
>now feel that I can accurately judge this book by its cover

>>7655211

Amazon has a kindle reader you can download and use for free.

You can even transfer most pirated books to be used with it like I do.

>'awhile' as a noun phrase in the very first sentence

Well, I gave it a shot.

>>7655354
don't care that much without knowing what i'm getting into.

>>7655365
Lmao

>>7655202
Uh... yes you fucking can. I'm not saying it'll be a bestseller or anything, but these are minor things you can do to make it more viable. No one's telling you to rewrite the whole thing. Just add a few paragraphs as splitting/transition points and format the thing so it doesn't look like you printed it out yourself.>>7655210

>>7656357
I'm not OP but you can just download a program like calibre for ebooks. I'm not reading his shit either but it's useful if you're too broke to buy books and don't feel like going to a library. Just download some shit from libgen.

>>7655202
>I can't change the thing

um, yeah you can. it is your creation, you can do whatever you want to it.

and splitting it up doesn't mean each book has to stand alone, or have a concrete ending. multi-part books have loose ends or cliffhangers. that's how you get a pre-built audience interested in the next installment.

>>7653952
Please post excerpt.

>>7655365
I looked that up and I'll make that correction. Thank you.