>tfw you die at 60 and your son reads your diary https:/

Why would he record and post this ?
The internet is fucked up

>>7648845
He must be a lonely dude.

>>7648861
I feel bad for him actually.

>>7648845
because his dad is us in the future

What's the content like?

I can't listen to it right now

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>7:20

>>7648889
pretty sad desu familia

>>7648906
Example?

Is it more "well it sucks I'm dying" or more like "holy fuck I regret so much"

>>7648906
I bet the father was living for at least one woman

>>7648909
His dad wrote before he got cancer and when he found out he had it, and then during the chemo. It's sad because his dad writes about stuff he plans to do in the near future with no anticipation for what's about to happen. Like he talks about wanting to retire before he hits 60 so he can help out his son in college but that never happens because he needed more money. He makes small observations around him that seem so insignificant but just make you feel really depressed because it's small things that remind you of your own life. He doesn't really complain, just observes what's happening to his body and his worries about his family.

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>>7648824
the process is thus : you want to be happy, you notice that you are not, you wonder why, you notice that it is because mundane hedonism [=taking seriously your desires/ideas/self/what you feel] is poorly effective to be happy [you must work hard to get richies, then you must keep your richies, then you get a bit of pleasures from them, then they disappears (since you spend them), so you work hard anew to get new richies. Even worse, there is, sooner or later, lassitude towards the fruits of your hard work (everybody in relationship knows this). why do you get bored from all the entertainment you buy thanks to you hard work ??], you notice that everybody around you does the same and are not really happy. this mundane life sucks....
=> you abdicate before the lack of results from hedonism, you want to leave this lack of relevance forever (and you know how to).
Plus you have faith that you will die, because you look around and see hundreds of people being miserable pricks like. people are you and you are people.
you know thus that it is not worth it to go into the same hedonistic quest day after day, week after week, up to year after year; that you are not different, nor better than others in your misery.

it clicks. you understand that there is no point to continue to envy. once you understand this, you want to do the contrary of what you have done so far : do the contrary of being agitated.
you want to be still, even though you are not so still (otherwise you would be happy), and have no doubt about this new perspective on life [you clearly see that other hedonists are sad just as you were before, and you know why], you try to be still towards the body, then the 6 sense. you notice that your breath keep moving. how to be still wrt the breath ? to be still towards the breath means that
-when we breath out, we know that we breath out WHEN we breath out [not an instant before, not an instant after]
-when we breath in, we know that we breath in WHEN we breath in [not an instant before, not an instant after]

[there can be other things moving in cycle, typically the heart beat, but it is faint and far to speedy for most people to know when heart beats happen. the breath is what is in the foreground, therefore, the breath is what matters]

there it is: we are still towards the breath, we are still towards the other senses which disappears, since THINGS DISAPPEARS WHEN WE DO NOTHING BUT BEING CONSCIOUS.
once your sense disappear , we are conscious of ''our consciousness''. and things happen. the method is then to get rid of as many displeasure as possible. this is what the buddhists do in their meditation. the point is that there is no longer a distinction between epistemology, ontology, ethics and happiness.

why this method leads to result worthy of being called ''knowledge'' ? because the results
-transform us
-transform us ''forever'' [you cannot go back to a previous state, the good news is that these states make us happier than before]

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>>7648950


jhanas are hedonism of the consciousness, while ordinary hedonism is materialistic, of the body.
but even the jhanas are hard to get and their effects disappear sooner or later ! just like with mundane hedonism !!! another deception... and you know that, sooner or later, you will get rid of those jhanic fruits [until you reach nibanna for good].
thanks to the jhanas you study the consciousness itself and see before your eyes what you knew : that your consciousness is not as permanent, nor as personal as you expected before seeing the dhamma, just as you understand that the body, the mind, the emotions, the tastes, the ideas are not you and and that the attachement to them prevent you from being happy.

happiness is thus the destruction of the avidity towards pleasures, the destruction of the aversion towards pains, the destruction of the ignorance of the sterility of hedonism of the body and hedonism of the consciousness.

what replaces the things destroyed ? equanimity and benevolence and charity sets in. that is all.

>writing a journal
>wanting to bother the living with your existence once you've died
>clinging to life this much

I hope this is bait

>>7648950

eh, guy, got any resources for meditation ?