Valentine's Day is in two weeks. There's a girl who works in my office complex who I'd like to give a card to anonymously. Would the following message be autistic?
Happy Valentine's Day.
With love and squalor,
Does it sound like I'm trying to be deep&edgy or tryhard or something? The "joke" or reference here is that I'm a pretty quiet and expressionless individual in work. I've always like the Salinger story and her name sounds kinda similar to Esme's, though I'm not sure if it's sort of creepy since the girl in the story is around thirteen years old. Also I think using the word "love" here is maybe premature and again a little creepy perhaps.
Are there any females here willing to tell me what they think and what their reaction would perhaps be to receiving this?
Because if she doesn't get the reference right away then she'll feel patronised and be defensive. If you're going to make a reference in your card for her, make it to something you've talked about in the past. If you can't think of anything, keep it simple.
We haven't really talked beyond sharing a brief few words about something in the office I work in. We aren't colleagues and so it's not as if we get many opportunities to talk. I don't want to seem like a stalker or a creep. The reason I think I may not appear that way is partly because in college a girl I had only said hey to a couple of times slipped a similar card under my dormroom door one valentines with some lyrics I found touching. I didn't end up dating her but I kinda wish I had now.
Give it a shot, what's the worst that can happen?
Sexual harassment complaints, humiliation by both her and her colleagues, an email being sent around en masse asking people not to be creepy by sending shit like that, her feeling uncomfortable to come to work, her immediately figuring out who wrote it (I was thinking of mailing it to the workplace so it would at least not make it so obvious).
I mean optimistically thinking she would find it sweet, appreciate the humour and thought in the references, and may realize it's me and express some sort of acknowledgement of that fact while subtly communicating her willingness to be "approached" by me.
Thinking pessimistically she will think "what the fuck" and already have a boyfriend and ask the building's manager to send around an email (pretty much conspicuously aimed at me) to all staff telling them some creepy dude sent a weird letter to someone and that they shouldn't do it. Or that he would have the same reaction but show her disgust with that form of expression (perhaps reading the word "love" and thinking I genuinely "love" her, when really in the story at least it's more a sort of formal if sincere expression of compassion or something) and might gossip about it / me to her colleagues, who would then look at me with mockery when we pass, and might even subtly inform my co-workers that someone gave her a card with a literary reference, in which case they will immediately identify me as the author and have that over me, so to speak.
I mean I guess I might be being too "romantic" in a way that really isn't actually very romantic or appealing. But I just had this idea and wanted to know what /lit/ thought.
also OP here.
Where we work in New York is relatively close to where the Bartleby story takes place, which I thought might be relevant here, though I'm afraid what the message will communicate is
I'm depressed and in love with you,
If you want to get with her then just fucking talk to her, if you want to send an anonymous note then just send a polite compliment to make her smile, not a shitty reference that will creep her out.
Don't leave notes, anonymous or not. They can be kind of unsettling or awkward. Talk to her and get to know her. "Hey, how's it going?" etc.
Maybe by next valentines day it would be acceptable to give a chocolate or something.
It's one thing if you're already well acquainted with the person. It falls into that "unsettling or awkward" territory if you're basically strangers ('Uh, okay, why didn't you talk to me at all? You've just been staring from afar this whole time...?") <-- Not really a good introduction.
>Isn't that like a part of what valentine's is all about?
It's a holiday to sell shit.
Why would you ever be attracted to some old hag? I'm getting my wife a Hermes shawl and a few other more personal gifts, plus a poem I began when she was 14.
It's an absolutely awful idea, and all chances considered she'll probably figure out that it's you and report you for being a 'creep'.