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Is it autistic / illegal to debate the value...
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Is it autistic / illegal to debate the value of your work with an agent who turns it down?

I've completed 4 parts of my 6 part memoir (around 600k words so far) and have started sending around the first in the series ready for publication. The first and only place I send it to (an agent representing many of the biggest names in contemporary publishing) said it was "overwritten" and that it "presumes too much" about how interested the reader is in the "minutiae" of my life. I sent him an email asking to reconsider which he interpreted as a "threat" (I said I'd give him one more chance before I sent it elsewhere).

Would it be wrong for me to write a lengthy document defending and justifying my work?

This has really startled me.
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>>7608333
You are my favorite delusional/troll poster.
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>>7608356
All great men were viewed as delusional before they made it. Reserve your resentment for lesser beings.
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>>7608333
>memoir about asked no name frogposter

Not sure why anyone would want to read about your life
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>>7608368

well, people read 6 volumes of this guy's life and i'd wager 3/4 hadn't read anything else of his prior to starting

i'd read the memoirs of a neet by the way
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>>7608333
Comte de Lautréamont argued with various publishers to get his work published and even removed parts that seemed too outrageous. This having failed he then proceeded to inform them of the target market it could aim for with success, including a foreword stating its actual purpose and the unveiling of all the substance to bare it for what it really was. This too unfruitful he then appealed to Victor Hugo for a letter of recommendation for the vouchment of its artistic worth.
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>>7608368
I am extremely sensitive and observant. I've suffered a great deal throughout my life because of my stubborn loyalty to the ideals of beauty and virtue. My life, consequently, has been very eventful, even if I've made the conscious decision not to leave to home for the past several years. A profound man will experience more glory and emotional intensity by pouring a glass of semi-skimmed milk than a stolid, callous proletarian will ever experience despite living a life of novelty and wantonness.

>>7608375
I've read Knausgaard and although I appreciate his commitment to a particular Form, I think his writing is poor and his articulation second-rate. He has admitted to having tinnitus and listening to music as he writes to help ease this condition. This fact alone confirms that he is at best second-rate.

>>7608378
That's reassuring. It has been my conviction for some time that the Great Men of this world are bound to go unnoticed in their own lifetime. I read a biography of Hans Fallada recently and the way he was treated (mistreated) by the publishing culture of his time reassured me somewhat. Robert Musil was the same, as were many other Great Minds.
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>>7608333

How could that be a threat?

Isn't it pretty good that he gave you criticisms at all? I mean he read some of it at least, it didn't just languish in the slushpile.

Nice trips btw.
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>>7608333
that you got a big-deal guy to actually read it is a good sign
keep sending it around, wtf would you care about that one guy
what are you trying to do, a min kamp thing?
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>>7608414
ok read that you think min kamp is second rate... you're probably not as good as that but whatever
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>>7608409
The only reason he gave me feedback is because I contacted his secretary / assistant several times and she finally sent through his comments in a brief and quite rude email. I think he / they considered my follow-up email a threat because I said I'd give them one more chance. They then asked me if that was a threat and whether I thought such an email would help my cause and I clarified that I'd give them one more chance before allowing another agent to sign me up. Contemporary publishing really is an appalling culture. I'm fated to obscurity when such abrasive snobs are in charge of choosing who makes it and who doesn't. I have an idea of how I will hand over my manuscript directly to a publishers rather rely on the vanity-driven mercenaries posing as literary agents, but I will have to plan well and make sure my idea isn't illegal.
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>>7608419
you must realise that you seem insane
there's no reason to fixate on one guy
send it to many people, and many publishers (where it will land in a slush pile, but maybe some bored grad student will like your stuff)
send it to lit people you admire. if i were you i would summon tao
if you type his name loud enough he will appear
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>>7608414
>>7608416
Min Kamp is an ok series. The only thing that lets it down is that too much happens. Novelty and "action" repulse me to the point where it took a long time for me to read the books without feeling nauseous. The author however is a poseur and an impostor in the world of high-brow literature. Knausgaard is at his best when describing emotional experience and the more "mundane" aspects of his life, rather than boring the reader with sensations, discussions of sexual intercourse and so on. If Knausgaard had read The Book of Disquiet before starting to write the series they would be of a much higher quality.
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OP how old are you?
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>>7608420
I don't consider myself "insane", and I don't treat the dichotomy of sanity / insanity very seriously. If I am insane then it preferable to the "sanity" I have apparently been acquainted with in most people I've met.

And I'm not fixated on the guy, but if I am to make a name for myself and reach my literary potential it is not worth me begging the sub-editor of the Sheboygan Quarterly Journal to publish my works. I hold myself to a higher standard.

I'm not willing to send it to people I admire because I am afraid they will steal my ideas or publish the work as their own. I have read everything Tao Lin has ever written, including his blogposts and comment-section posts online. I appreciate his stubbornness but I don't think he is very talented (I think he lacks self-awareness).

I have an idea to hire (if this is possible) a motorcycle delivery driver outfit (including a helmet) and buy a pizza and ask for two boxes, one empty. I would then place my manuscript in the empty bottom box while adopting an Italian accent and claiming not to speak English to enter the office of a major publishing house to give them a free pizza and my manuscript for consideration. I don't know if this is illegal or practical however, though it's my best idea yet.
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I'm 24 years old.
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>>7608436
posted in response to
>>7608433
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>>7608434

I like you Anon.
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>>7608434
>I have an idea to hire (if this is possible) a motorcycle delivery driver outfit (including a helmet) and buy a pizza and ask for two boxes, one empty. I would then place my manuscript in the empty bottom box while adopting an Italian accent and claiming not to speak English to enter the office of a major publishing house to give them a free pizza and my manuscript for consideration. I don't know if this is illegal or practical however, though it's my best idea yet.

10/10, this couldn't possibly go wrong. Do it and report back whenever you're done.
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>>7608333
What do you want out of publishing, OP?
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>>7608364
I agree to this, harsh truth buddy, at first, they're considered trainwrecks, and instead are being circlejerked after, just look at Foster Wallace, terrible life but considered a sweet dude, or so I've heard.
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>>7608441
Thank you. I am a very likeable person. As a newborn baby a ward nurse chose me to serve as the baby to be displayed to all the other mothers on my mother's ward (my beauty, physical and moral, has been a constant source of pride for her) and used to show the other mother's how to properly clean, bathe and care for their newborn children (who were languishing unseen and unbeautiful in some obscure part of the hospital). This and many other stories are told in great detail (my memory is profound and contributes to my existential distress a great deal) in every installment of my memoir.
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>>7608447
My only ambition in life is to hold a hardback book in my hand which I have written and which has been published by a publisher I respect. My intentions are very pure. I don't care for fame, or attention from phallusless groupies, or monetary gain. I am an artist in the most genuine sense of the term.
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>>7608454
Don't misinterpret me, but you're a cool guy, no sarcasm intended at all, I'm serious, I want to read your memoir, is there any way I can get a copy? I prefer the epub format.
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>>7608457
I apologize for my skepticism but I think you're trying to trick me with this request, probably with the intention of exposing me and ridiculing my work. If I am mistaken then I apologize once more and urge you to await further news of my efforts to become a Published Author.
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>>7608456
If nothing else works, you could go the self-publishing route. although that would probably involve a lot of responsibilities you wouldn't be into. If nothing else, you attract traditional pub attention. If you're an artist in the most genuine sense, what's the appeal of holding the hardcover in your hand? Have you considered creating fiction analogous to your memoir?
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>>7608436
>24
How arrogant and delusional you have to be to believe that the general public is going to buy -or at least be interested in - six books depicting the life of a twenty four year old man who has accomplished nothing out of the ordinary, as far as they're concerned. Good luck.
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>>7608460
Drats! You foiled my plan!
No, actually I do want to genuinely read your work man, I'm a writer just like you and hate the exact same concept, although I'd accept ridicule as some inevitable happenstance in the exchange of literary fluids. Oh well, guess I won't be reading your memoirs any time soon, hope you succeed.
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>>7608462
I refuse to even consider self-publishing, and the fact you recommend this suggests a great deal of negative things about your personality and mode of existence. I refuse to risk total obscurity for the sake of fleeting contentment at seeing my name displayed on the cover of a book available for purchase. The concept of self-publishing repulses me. I suppose I can't avoid admitting the fact (if only to myself, to spare me any delusions regarding my perspective and opinion) that I am an elitist, and that I believe the great mass of humanity, like the great mass of literature, is interesting but ultimately unworthy of focused attention. Allowing anybody to place their books on sale as published items is equal to walking around the streets of your nearest city handing out megaphones to the proletarians who consider their impulsive, second-hand opinions to be worth shouting in public.
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>>7608467
Thank you for your rather awkwardly expressed encouragement. Good luck, if such a thing exists, will have to play a part in my success I think.
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>>7608434
you sound it. i don't treat the dichotomy seriously either, but appearances are another matter
this will affect your interactions, including with those who may wish to publish your work
the only reason the man responded was because you seemed unbalanced, but while that means you are more likely to get a response you are less likely to have someone willing to begin a relationship with you where they will have to deal with you on a regular basis
your idea is both stupid and brilliant: stupid because the person who reads it will not change: it will still be a bored grad student
brilliant, because that student might pay more attention to it and you need all the help you can get
but maybe start by throwing your stuff in the slush pile the normal way
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>>7608473
Well, I accept your apology ( I didn't write the arrogant and delusional post. ) but let me give you the fair advice I've been shared, make your own luck, nothing to it, now to proceed, I'll have a lingering notion of not having read your memoir, even though I accept your apology, thanks, in the bitter sense, hope you succeed, don't blame you for being somewhat careful.
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>>7608471
a naked singularity was self-published first
see it as a tool, not an end
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What the fuck am I reading
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>>7608473
Almost forgot, be more damned positive please.
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>>7608434
The pizza idea seems like a pile of heaps and trouble, if you're willing to risk it on those levels, get even more creative, Trojan horse manuscripts are just a gateway to a legal battle in court.
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We've been rused lads.
OP is pretending to be /lit/ embodied.
He's making fun of us.
SHOO SHOO RUSEMAN!
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>>7608434
Hiding your manuscript in a pizza box would separate you from all the other applicants and make the publisher more willing to publish your work. I would do that.
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>>7608529
You're a true asshole man, props, no offense intended.
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Hi OP. You're my favorite OP. Keep on trucking!

- Anon
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>>7608555
Thank you. I appreciate the encouragement.
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When will I be able to read this, and how will I know it's you OP?
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>>7608569
You'll be able to read it when a publishing house worthy of my consideration finally relents and accepts that the work I'm submitting possess all those qualities necessary to make it both a best-seller and a "cult classic". It's common knowledge that most editors are simply aspiring writers who have failed to produce anything worthwhile, and that their foul treatment of "younger" writers is largely a result of their own self-loathing. But when the world finally begins to yield to my will, believe it you will know. As a long-time poster on /lit/ I will make another thread here (I make at least 15 a day as things are) announcing my victory. And when I eventually begin the second part of my memoir and start writing about my life after turning 18 years of age (books 1-6 cover my birth up to that point) I will no-doubt mention 4chan and /lit/ at length, providing profound analysis of the website's role in contemporary culture and many other sociological observations that will guarantee my position as a "voice of a generation".
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>>7608588
Voice of a generation of detriment.
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I think this is just a thread where OP tries to make as many outrageous replies as humanly possible in order to get screencapped and live on as copypasta. Which is a noble goal unto itself, of course.
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You sound like the kind of writer that doesn't let anyone touch their work for fear of being criticised. You sound like someone who is unknown and un-published which means no one cares and that no one will continue to care so long as your status remains that way.

Immediately, I can tell your work needs to be redrafted- just from your arrogance alone. If this is the kind of voice that permeates your work then I can completely understand the agent's reaction. 'Over-written' and presumptuous. How do you not see those as red flags?

Ultimately the work is not for you. It is for your audience. So respect them. Respect the agent. Bite the bullet, redraft the work, and stop being such a whiny prick.
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>>7608634
What do you mean by "touch"? If you mean edit and intrude then you're right, and I refuse to apologize for demanding sovereignty over my creation. And my work is not written for any audience, that is a patronizing and worthless attitude to have when creating a piece of art. I strive to meet the standard of objective perfection, while being aware (perhaps ironically) that such standards don't exist. I respect everybody (including non-human animals) to a basic extent, though I reserve a genuine sense of respect for those who earn it.
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OP, your problem is that you called it a memoir.
You need to market it as "autofiction" to jump on that Knausgaard and Ferrante bandwagon.
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>>7608641
I'll leave "marketing" to those individual base enough to involve themselves in such things. I refer to it as a memoir because it meets the definition precisely. I will be jumping on no bandwagon.
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>>7608637
if a company is going to pay to publish, they will also demand you bend to their will
first-time authors that have not proven themselves in other ways do not have it any other way
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Art ceases to be art without an audience reacting against it. If your work does not need an audience then do not publish the work and the problem is solved. Your art is still art without anyone seeing it. Why bother?
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>>7608588
How many pages will be dedicated to baneposting ?
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>>7608648
Due to my selfless nature I am obligated to allowing others to read and thus benefit from my work.
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Hey OP I'm really interested in reading a passage of your writing, would you mind posting something?

Thanks in advance!
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>>7608839
I appreciate your enthusiasm but I am rather hesitant (perhaps paranoid) to post any of my work here. I've been a regular poster on /lit/ for several years now, and regularly browse the "post your writing" threads. Even when I've copied and pasted work from established authors I have often, probably mostly, received replies telling me it has no literary quality. For that reason I'm unwilling to allow more than six-hundred-thousands carefully selected words to be undermined by seventy words that, when formed into sentences and intended to convey impressions or ideas, may be denounced as evidence of my lack of talent, and cause most who read them to lose whatever interest they may have in reading my work as a whole. There are a few chapters I could post as a whole here, but the format / appearance of both 4chan and pastebin blunt any effect they might otherwise have.
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>>7608847
well OP, the work is yours as the choice of posting some fragment from it; I can understand (even if barely) your feelings.
I'm interested in reading you because confidence is often a symptom of quality, and you're plentiful with it.

That said, it's my interest to see you published, so keep on trying.

Godspeed anon!
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>>7608885
Thank you again for your encouragement. It really does mean a great deal. I don't enjoy disappointing your desire to read some of my work, and I am grateful that you understand my decision not to post it here.
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>>7608333
Can this be new pasta??
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>>7608333
Why not self publish?
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>>7608888

I'm imagining everything you're saying being spoken by Richard Ayoade
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decent bait
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>>7608333

>around 600k words so far

Depending on translation, the English version of War and Peace is 560k-590k.

I can't even imagine the quantities of cocaine I would require to not only embark, but to persevere on such a lengthy journey of incessant masturbation.
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>>7608388

>as were many other Great Minds.

You sure know how to push my buttons.

Post an excerpt of your masterpiece.
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Go to bed Proust.
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>>7608434

>and I don't treat the dichotomy of sanity / insanity very seriously

Ever met a paranoid schizophrenic who wasn't on anti-psychotics?
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>>7608975
ever met a 12 year old American boy who wasn't on prozac ?
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i love this thread
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>>7608492

At first I thought OP was outrageously ridiculous, but then people actually took him seriously.

Maybe you're right. Holy shit /lit/, what the fuck?
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>>7608885

>because confidence is often a symptom of quality,

Would you happen to be American?
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>>7608978

Not American. My impression was that you were force-feeding your male youth amphetamines, not prozac.
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>>7608928
ditto, people are really buying it.

I'm suprised nobody called bs when he said his age. But this caricature is very close to the lit type.
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>>7609022
i did though he took it as a compliment.
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>>7608434
That sounds like a Seinfeld episode,so it's really not s good idea in real life. Keep sending your manuscript please.

You sound smart but you've lost touch with reality.
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>>7608997
If a man is sure that is work is good he will be confident about it, that's pretty straightforward; it's understandable that you may be questioning the effective quality of his work but since neither I nor you have seen it, we must accept the opinion of the only one that have read the text, OP.

I respect confident people, because confidence about work and self is, even if not every time, a good indicator of the value of the work itself.
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>>7608434
Why not just buy two pizzas and eat one, rather than having them give you an empty box. It will show the publisher that you're authentic
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>>7609068
I agree, Mugabe is a great and just leader.
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>>7609077
>the post
>you
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>>7609080
>trusting the judgement of those responsible regarding their own work
>ever

are you an adorable little girl?
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>>7609086
>are you an adorable little girl?
aren't we all?


>>trusting the judgement of those responsible regarding their own work
>>ever
the point is that we, at this exact moment, can't do anything other than trusting that judgement.
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>>7609068

No, it really isn't. Intelligent people are capable of seeing the multitude of potential flaws and fuck-ups. Whereas confident people can very easily be idiots who are too dumb to realize that fact. Look up the Dunning-Kruger effect.
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>>7609095

>the point is that we, at this exact moment, can't do anything other than trusting that judgement.

I can no longer distinguish trolls from idiots.

I get the feeling a few intelligent people on this board are working on the perfect simulacrum of idiocy - the troll that can't be called.

Are you the guy who went on about Varg, hobbies, and the subjectivity of art a few days ago?
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>>7609132
> the troll that can't be called.

Isn't that the point of hip irony?
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>>7608333
what the fuck makes you think you are interesting or important enough to warrant a memoir? Who are you?
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>>7609144
WHO DA FUCK R U?
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>>7609119
can't intelligent people be confident?
can't confident people be intelligent?

>>7609132
>Are you the guy who went on about Varg, hobbies, and the subjectivity of art a few days ago?
no, sorry, I missed that thread
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>>7609095
>the point is that we, at this exact moment, can't do anything other than trusting that judgement.
Except we can also not trust that judgement and form no opinion until we actually have a look at it, silly.
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>>7609162
well, that's a thoughtful choice, I can respect it.

Point is that OP seems to me so convinced of his work that I can't do anything but believe him:
This is highly anecdotal, but I'm friends with confident people who live up with their confidence expectation, so I could be easy about being positive on the quality of their work.
That said you could trust or not OP, but until we have not read anything we can't criticise really a thing about it.
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>>7608333
OP, I just want to thank you. I was having a bad day up until now, but then I read your post and I couldn't stop laughing for a while. I really needed this. Please, keep doing what you're doing.
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>>7609209
I mean he seems literate, and if his "memoir" is as funny as these posts then I'd read it.
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>>7609209
we can read his posts though, and they don't in any way seem the work of an intelligent, rational, talented person.

I wrote a more thorough analysis of it but it seems frivolous to even post it, OP is obviously samefagging and probably trolling so why argue with him

>>7609223
his posts are funny in how absurd and delusional they make him seem
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>>7609157

>can't intelligent people be confident?
>can't confident people be intelligent?

Sure they can, they're not mutually exclusive. Stop moving the goalpost. However, the tendency is the exact opposite of what you claim. It's not necessarily true that confidence equals idiocy, but it's a marked tendency.
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>>7609209

You're the kind of guy who'd join a cult, aren't you?
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>>7609234
I wasn't moving the goal post, I was replying to your over-generalization

>It's not necessarily true that confidence equals idiocy, but it's a marked tendency.

Then, my opinion is that OP is a poor soul crushed by the too shortsighted views of the modern publishing industry, fighting for a just recognition of his hard-work, which he finds worthy of reading.

>>7609240
I haven't had yet a chance.
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>>7609262
>too shortsighted views of the modern publishing industry

what he's pining for never existed. There has never been a period when great publishers poured time & money into any cocky deluded faggot that came to them.
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>>7609278
a shame really, think of how much worthy material has been lost
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>>7609278
>There has never been a period when great publishers poured time & money into any cocky deluded faggot that came to them
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>>7608434
>I don't consider myself "insane"
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>>7608364
all great men are delusional. But not all delusional people are great men. Delusion is something we are born with. It is like saying all great men breathe air. But not all air breathers are great men.
>>
the fact that he's commented on your work means he has read your shit. And it also means he is saying "I'll publish your shit if you re-write and improve it."
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>>7608388
>tfw have tinnitus
>tfw never first rate
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>>7609149
THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT BOARD OF ALL 4CHAN WHO AH YOO!?
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>>7608333

OP are you aware of the evidence of Israeli/Mossad involvement in the 9/11 attacks?
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>>7608434
Kek
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>>7609560
Are you kidding me? How can the Mossad be involved if it was an inside job by the US government?
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>>7609755
who the hell do you think controls the US government
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>>7609074
>grease
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>>7608637
>Non-human animals
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>>7608333
I wish you had been older. 9/10.
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>>7610294
Why?
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>>7610297
Because a 6 book memoir about a 24 year old seems kind of quaint?
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>>7608419
>Contemporary publishing really is an appalling culture. I'm fated to obscurity when such abrasive snobs are in charge of choosing who makes it and who doesn't.
release the first volume in ebook form and let them bid for the publishing rights of the whole series after your genius is recognised
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>>7608333
Just remember OP, you've convinced yourself your work is good no matter what happens. If everyone in the world said it was a ridiculous waste of time, it seems like you would only think of yourself as a misunderstood genius. If it ends up being only worthwhile to you, is it worthwhile at all? Would you be satisfied knowing only three people ever even cared enough to pick it up, and regretted it after the first page? Be just as ready for failure as you are for success, because if this doesn't work out you need to keep writing.
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great thread op
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>>7608333
Hey OP, what kind if a life have you had so far? Is your book mostly about being a neet and tfwnogf?
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>>7608637
>my work is not written for any audience
so what's the problem then?
>>
>argue with dumb bitch
>destroy everything she says
>start asking me who i am and why should she even listen to me, that i dont even matter

FUCKING DUMB BITCH, REFUTE THE CENTRAL POINT OR KILL YOURSELF
>>
OP I like your style, I'll buy your book if you self-publish.
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>>7608333
>Is it autistic / illegal
well you sure know how to catch people's interest, op.
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>>7611956
That's a nice looking lamb...
>>
fuck you're that guy again who thinks he's the world's most misunderstood genius.

here's the deal with memoirs OP, if you fancy yourself a good and unique writer you wouldn't waste time on memoirs. what are you 24? you really think your life has been captivating enough for a 6 volume memoir at your age? its probably not, it sounds like the agent flat out told you that you haven't done much meriting a memoir and just filled a 6 part series with the minutiae of your life. quit jerking off on the page, quit thinking reading tao lin's shit is going to make you stand out, everyones forgotten about him.

for some reason I think you're that poster that assumes a different personality to fuck with people until the thread hits 100, because you sound like a self-righteous uninteresting autistic neet
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>>7612438
>for some reason I think you're that poster that assumes a different personality to fuck with people until the thread hits 100

You are correct sir. Though I'm not a NEET.
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>>7608388
what up with tinnitus my friend its a common problem among adults i dont think you understand the problems it causes
>>
>>7608333
>>your unfinished memoir is 1333 pages
Christ man. Beauty in brevity. Post the first page.
>>
OP here. Just to clarify as per my usual rule of 100-posts-and-quit. I'm not really writing a memoir. I'm the same guy who claimed to be considering selling his liver after becoming poor for the sake of literary authenticity, and the guy who claimed to have been mistreated by his publishers after writing a book about leprosy in Louisiana, and several other personas whose stories attracted more than 100 posts in recent history.
>>
>>7608419
>literally Ignatius Reilly
>>
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>>7612478
That's nice, dear.
>>
>>7608588
>best seller and a cult classic
Opposite things, pizza man
>>
>>7608655
i assume 90% of it will be him telling us about the time he spent in the darkness, so...
>>
>>7611956
"Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world"
John 1:29
>>
>>7612635
"Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it, “May you never bear fruit again!” Immediately the tree withered."
Matthew 21:18-22
>>
How did you manage to get the attention of a bigshot agent?
And where did you get his name from?
>>
S H O O P I Z Z A M A N
H
O
O

P
I
Z
Z
A
M
A
N
>>
>>7612478
So zany!!! XD
>>
Not sure if you're delusional or just insanely crazy/autistic, but you can have comfort knowing a thread on a japanese anime website will be the peak of your career.
>>
>>7612478
No you're not. I'm OP
>>
>>7608364
Let's see you work
>>
>>7608999

mostly amphetamines, some prozac, some xanax
>>
>>7608434
Say something really smart that is political / philosophical
>>
>>7608443
I would read the memoir of someone who considers this a good idea
>>
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>This whole thread.
>>
>>7608333
>>7608388
What is your occupation?
>>
holy shit /lit/ really can meme
>>
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>>7612478
in any case, that could blooded serious exposition culminating in absurdities like the Italian pizza guy story is actually funny and I wish there was some medium for this which you wouldn't just stumble upon sometimes by reading tons of shit threads on 4chan

I lost it at
>my beauty, physical and moral
in >>7608454
>>
>>7608388
This post is amazing.
>>
>>7608483
A good thread on /lit/. It is peculiar.
>>
P O S T E X C E R P T S
O
S
T

E
X
C
E
R
P
T
S
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>>7608333
This could be the next At Two-Birds-Swim or Confederacy of Dunces. I've been trying to write a story about the life of a /lit/ shit-poster, but you've obviously beaten me. I await your masterpiece
>>
>>7608434
Please get published. I'm assuming that you're writing all of these posts in character. If my assumption is right I absolutely need to read this.

Let us know when you finally release your memoirs.
>>
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>this entire thread
>>
>>7608434
>I have an idea to hire (if this is possible) a motorcycle delivery driver outfit (including a helmet) and buy a pizza and ask for two boxes, one empty. I would then place my manuscript in the empty bottom box while adopting an Italian accent and claiming not to speak English to enter the office of a major publishing house to give them a free pizza and my manuscript for consideration. I don't know if this is illegal or practical however, though it's my best idea yet.

lmao holy shit this needs to be in a novel and get published
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