Jean Baudrillard, pic related, one of his longer routines from "Cool Memories"
Here is another of my favorites from "The Transparency of Evil":
“Consider Michael Jackson, for example. Michael Jackson is a solitary mutant, a precursor of a hybridization that is perfect because it is universal — the race to end all races. Today’s young people have no problem with a miscegenated society: they already inhabit such a universe, and Michael Jackson foreshadows what they see as an ideal future. Add to this the fact that Michael has had his face lifted, his hair straightened, his skin lightened — in short, he has been reconstructed with the greatest attention to detail. This is what makes him such an innocent and pure child — the artificial hermaphrodite of the fable, better able even than Christ to reign over the world and reconcile its contradictions; better than a child-god because he is a child-prosthesis, an embryo of all those dreamt-of mutations that will deliver us from race and from sex.”
Also, William Burroughs isn't really an aphorist, but I like him for a similar reason as Baudrillard. He breaks the narrative to just muse on some strange topic. A lot of "Did I ever tell you about..."
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